He moves closer until our sides are touching. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since Thanksgiving. I’ve tried, but it’s no use.”
I bite the corner of my lip. I’m ready to forgive him but I still want to know why he’s put me through hell for the past couple months. And that he’s not gonna do it again. “I haven’t either. But I don’t understand why you acted like you didn’t know me.”
He releases my hand and wipes it over his face. “I wouldn’t say that.”
I have seen him watching me, so I guess that’s true. “But you haven’t talked to me. Or even been nice to me.” That last part is what hurts. Having him watch me from a distance has been torture.
His eyes widen. “I haven’t been mean to you!”
“Well not mean, but definitely a jerk.”
He leans his head until his forehead’s on my shoulder and his helmet is pressed against the side of my face. “I’m sorry. I thought Brianna filled your head with her BS and since you didn’t talk to me after that first day, I assumed we were over. Especially since I stopped texting you.”
I’m glad he can’t see my face right now. Hearing him acknowledge that he ignored me doesn’t feel as good as I thought it would. Instead it brings back all the sadness and frustration I felt before I moved, and then every time I’ve seen him at school.
He lifts his head and looks me in the eye. “I’m sorry I reacted that way. I don’t know why I didn’t just talk to you and find out for myself what you were thinking.”
My stomach sinks as I remember the humiliation I felt that first day after English when I called his name in the hall and he barely responded. “That would’ve been a lot easier.”
He lowers his gaze. “Can you forgive me?”
I already know that I will, it’s just a question of when. My pride won’t let me stand up to Brianna one minute, then roll over—literally!—when a cute boy treats me like crap. Even if we do have a connection unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
His glove touches my chin. “Cally?”
I meet his eyes and my heart does a somersault. It’s not like I forgot he has incredibly gorgeous blue eyes, but seeing them this close—with the bright sky making them seem almost inhumanely clear—makes all logic evaporate from my brain.
“You’re killin’ me smalls.”
I smile, and before I can think about what I’m doing, I lean forward and kiss him. “Yes,” I whisper against his lips.
He pulls me closer and all thoughts but him are gone. His lips are soft and his kiss is gentle and unhurried, like the first time we kissed, and I guess it’s kind of like our second first kiss. He tilts his head and our helmets clink. He laughs gently against my cheek. “Yes?” he asks.
I inhale deeply, the memory of how he smells updating with the sensations that sweep over me now. “Hmm?”
“Are you saying you forgive me?”
Oh right. “I suppose.”
He pulls back so he can look in my eyes. “That doesn’t sound very convincing.”
I lift my hand to touch his cheek but it gets caught on his helmet and I end up poking him in the eye. “Omigod! I’m sorry!” I try to rub it but just poke him again.
He bursts out laughing and leans his head back, away from my gloves of doom. “Okay, okay! It’s good enough.”
I press my hand against his chest and lean closer. “Did I blind you? Can you see?”
He blinks several times and looks all around like he can’t focus. “Cally, is that you?”
“Oh, stop it.” I push his chest and in the blink of an eye he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against him. My breath comes out all fluttery but then our helmets smack again and I giggle. “This seems to be a recurring problem.”
He hesitates and I wonder if I pushed it too far. It’s one thing for him to apologize for being a dick but another to talk about what happened between us over Thanksgiving. He presses a kiss to my nose and I relax. “You have a point.” His hand slides over my side until he reaches my hip. Then he pats my butt.
He actually touched my butt. Through fifteen layers of clothes and snow pants and gloves, but still.
“Do I need to call Ski Patrol to get your broken ass down the mountain?”
“There’s no way I’m doing that again.”
“Then let’s go.” He yanks my skis out of the snow and lays them perpendicular to the slope of the hill. We both push to our feet and I test my weight on my bad side. “Okay?” he asks.
I nod. “I’ve had worse.”
He touches my cheek, and I like the fact that he can’t seem to stop touching me. “I remember.”
I step easily into my skis and let gravity pull me downhill. We’re nearing the lodge when the rumble of an approaching snowmobile makes me stop. “You didn’t call them.”
He stops a few yards ahead of me, eyes on the Ski Patrol. “No. They’ve already got someone.”
It’s coming from the terrain park.
The snowmobile races down the hill, one person driving, the other sitting backwards on the seat to watch the person strapped into the sled. I can’t see the person’s face, but it’s clear it’s a kid.
Blake’s face goes white.
I slide next to him and touch his arm. “Can you tell who it is?”
He shakes his head. “I think it’s one of the Half-Pipes.”
“The Half-Pipes?”
“A bunch of middle school kids that I help with tricks and stuff. They wanted a nickname to be like the Moguls and weren’t too happy when that one stuck.”
I narrow my eyes, trying to see a face as the snowmobile nears the lodge. “Are you sure it’s one of them?”
His eyes are locked on the sled, which is getting smaller by the second. “Only one way to find out.”
I tug at his arm. “Then let’s go.”
He looks at me for a second, seeming confused.
I soften my voice. “Come on.” I push past him and head for the lodge, glancing back to make sure he’s following. When we reach the med station there’s already a crowd of people near the door. We ditch our equipment against the building and push past several familiar faces.
Two boys who look eleven or twelve are pressed against the wall of the small room, staring at a closed door.
Blake mutters under his breath, then locks his hand on mine and leads me to them. “What happened?”
Four wide eyes look up at him in terror, then slide back to the door.
Blake rests a hand on the smaller one’s shoulder. “Joey, tell me what happened.”
He hooks a thumb at the kid next to him. “Ben and I were practicing that back grip you showed us and Andrew decided to add a three-sixty.” Blake’s jaw clenches but he doesn’t interrupt. The corner of Joey’s mouth quirks. “It was more like a two-sixty the first time, so he wanted to do it again.”
Ben clears his throat. “And that’s when he fell. We fall all the time so we didn’t think it was a big deal, but he wasn’t moving.”
Blake’s head jerks to the door, then he rests his other hand on Ben’s shoulder. My heart clenches at how much he clearly cares for these kids. “Did you text his parents?”
“Ski Patrol said for them to meet him at the hospital.”
Blake looks at me, eyes wide. “I... I don’t know what to do.”
I lock my arm against his side. “Do you want to go to the hospital?”
“But what—”
The door swings open and a Ski Patrol guy stops in the doorway. He looks between the boys and us. “You’re his friends?”
We all nod.
“An ambulance will take him to the hospital. Are your parents here?”
They shake their heads.
Blake drops his hands. “I can bring them.”
Ski Patrol nods. “Okay. Now I need everyone to clear out of here so we can take him outside.”
We step backwards in unison. Ben bumps into a desk, breaking the spell that’s transfixed him since we arrived, and leads us outside.
Red lights bounce off the snow. A Ski Patrol woman is clearing a path for the ambulance, but people stay pressed close, wanting to see the action.
“People, I need you to back up! This isn’t a joke!”
Two men carry a stretcher out of the door and Blake’s grip on my hand tightens. I’ve never met Andrew, but he looks tiny strapped to the board. His eyes are closed and a neck brace prevents his head from moving.
“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”
Blake nods once and mumbles, “Yeah.”
I look him in the eye. He seems completely rattled—more than he should be over a boarding accident, even if it is bad enough that a kid’s going to the hospital. “What’s going on?”
His gaze focuses on mine and he takes a deep breath. Opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, but then closes it. He presses a kiss to my nose instead. “Not now.”
A million questions race through my mind, but this isn’t the time. “Please be careful.”
“Do you want to come with us?”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not.”
I mentally tick through my options. If I stay, I need to ride back in Evan’s cramped car and possibly have to deal with the Snow Bitches until they’re ready to leave, but if I go with Blake I could be at the hospital until Dad is done at work and can come get me.
“Blake, let’s go.” Joey and Ben have their boards slung over their shoulders and are heading toward the parking lot.
“Maybe it’s better if I don’t go.” I don’t know these kids and it would be weird to be at the hospital with Andrew’s parents. I hate to see Blake go now that things finally seem to be okay, but he needs to help them right now. “I can ride home with Evan.”
“You sure?”
“Text me later to let me know how he is.”
“I will. Text me when you get home.”
I smile. It feels like my heart is trying to crawl out of my chest. “I will.”
He pulls me against his chest and holds me for not nearly long enough, then steps away. “I’ll see you later.”
I watch until he reaches the parking lot, then haul my skis onto my shoulder and trudge back to the lodge. Inside, all the tables near the fireplace are taken so I weave through groups of people toward a spot near the large window. Snow pants and helmets creep beyond the tables like long tentacles, threatening to trip me. My hip feels a little better—sitting in the snow for as long as we did probably helped—but my legs tremble from exhaustion. I collapse into a chair, shed my gear onto the table, and pull out my phone to text Evan when a sinking feeling makes me pause.
What if they’ve already left? I probably should have checked before I told Blake to leave without me, but Evan wouldn’t leave me here. Would he?
Still here?
I rest my phone on the table. It could be half an hour before I hear from him. I try to distract myself with the people flying down the mountain in front of the lodge, but all I can think of is how Blake reacted to that kid getting hurt. He seemed scared, almost panicked, and the look on his face reminded me of how I feel when I come anywhere near the wrong side of a car. Like there’s not enough oxygen in the world to make the ache in my chest go away.
I send him a text. Any word? Then I settle back in the chair. This could be a long wait.
My attention jumps between the slopes, the people around me, and my phone. I’m beginning to get dizzy when my phone vibrates.
Still here. Where you at?
Evan.
In the lodge. I’m done for the day.
Need company?
Nah, I’m good. Just don’t leave me here. :)
Did you hear about that boarder who broke his neck?
What?! He broke his neck?
That’s what I heard.
It’s a kid. Blake knows him.
Oh shit. One of the Half-Pipes?
Yeah.
Couple more runs and I’ll meet you?
Ok.
I’ve barely set my phone down when it vibrates again.
The doctors won’t tell me anything.
Are his parents there?
Not yet.
I have no idea what to say. I fight off the instinct to tell him that I’m thinking of him and I wish I was there. That’s what a girlfriend would say, and I’m most definitely not his girlfriend.
At least not yet.
I settle for lame instead. Sorry.
He doesn’t write back, and I tell myself not to read into it because A) he’s got more important things on his mind than my neurosis, and B) he’s a guy. Once they’ve said what they want, they stop talking. It’s really an amazing concept, something I’m determined to try someday.
I rest my phone on the table again but I need a distraction. I text Sophia.
News flash.
It takes sixty excruciating seconds for her to reply.
Go.
I kissed Blake.
Woah. YOU kissed him? Where?
On the mouth.
eyeroll
Skiing.
You two and the snow.
Tell me about it.
Did you talk?
A little. Enough.
So it’s back on?
I think so. His friend got hurt so things got cut short.
Otherwise you’d be giving me a different news flash?
Ha, hardly. While I’m nowhere near ready for sex, that doesn’t stop my imagination from rolling us off the slope and into the trees where no one would see us.
Soon enough.
“You’re blushing. This must be good.”
I lock my screen as Evan leans over my shoulder. “Not a chance.”
“Come on, give me a hint.” He drapes himself into the chair next to mine and bumps my knee with his.
I shake my head, willing my cheeks to return to their normal color.
“You’re no fun.”
I roll my eyes.
He pokes me in the side. “Okay, so maybe a little fun. Possibly really fun but you don’t seem to want me to find out.” He winks. “You ready to go?”
“Only if you promise to stop asking me out.”
He presses a hand to his chest and flops back in his chair.
I laugh, but my smile doesn’t last. “I mean it.”
He holds out his hand for me to shake. “I’m just giving you a hard time.”
As if on cue, my phone vibrates. I totally left Sophia hanging.
Sorry, my ride’s here. Talk later. xoxo.
Fiiiine. xoxo
And now I left Evan hanging. I shake his hand, then pick up my helmet.
“I mean, yes, you’re gorgeous, but I get it.” He smiles. “Are we cool?”
I nod. “Where’s everyone else?”
“They’re meeting us at the truck.” He stands and holds out his arm like some character from a Jane Austen book. “Shall we?”
I slip my arm through his and follow him through the mess of people, just as Mike comes out of the bathroom. Her mouth falls open when she sees us and I jerk my arm away, which only makes me look guilty.
Evan stiffens, which surprises me. But maybe our talk about her earlier got him thinking.
Mike hustles around the corner and is gone before we reach her, and I make a mental note to text her on the way home. I know the girl I met on the chairlift is trying to come out and maybe this will be the push to make it happen.
The guys are waiting in the car—gear loaded, radio and heat cranked—and my breathing becomes more shallow as we get closer. Every time I make a stink about riding on the left side of the car, the sooner someone realizes what I’m doing and my secret’s out.
But I exhale as we get closer. The front seat is empty.
Evan leads me to the passenger side but pauses with his hand on the handle.
“What’d you have to promise to arrange this?”
He shrugs. “I merely pointed out that I’ve been driving them here all season and have yet to see any gas money.”
Not that he needs it, I’m sure. I climb in and twist around to say hello. Austin’s directly behind me with his shins pressed into the seat. “How’s your ass?”
“Superb.”
“Wanna switch?”
“Nah, I iced it so long I can’t even feel it. But thanks.”
I settle back into my seat. I don’t mean to close my eyes, but the heat blasting from the vents relaxes my exhausted body and the next thing I know we’re pulling into a driveway. For a second I have no idea where I am or why I’m here, then I see Evan smiling at me and it all clicks back into place.
Cold air swirls through the interior of the car as Austin gets out. They do their goodbye thing then the door closes. The headlights light his way as he hobbles to the front of the house, then we’re back on the road.
“Your phone’s been blowing up.”
“Blake!” But first I need to text Mike. I ignore the unread texts and write her instead. Can we talk? Not what it looked like. Things finally on with Blake. My stomach flips at the admission. Technically I don’t know what we are, but I need to convince Mike that I haven’t lied to her.
Reece leans between the seats. “Any news?”
I scroll through my texts from Blake.
Still haven’t seen him.
His parents here.
Neck not broken. Concussion.
I let out a breath.
They’re making us leave.
Talk later?
I blush at the last one. Fortunately it’s too dark in the car for them to notice. “He’s got a concussion but his neck isn’t broken.”
Evan visibly relaxes.
“I didn’t realize you know them.”
“We’re not exactly friends, but we see them every weekend. Besides, you never want to see someone get hurt like that.”
I know that, and I’m a little irritated that he thinks I don’t. “Blake was pretty freaked out.”
“Well, yeah. After his brother,” Evan says.
“He has a brother?”
“Had.”
“What?”
“He hasn’t told you?”
I shake my head. Blake had—HAD—a brother and that’s why he was freaking out? What happened to him? Each question launches fifty more that won’t be answered until I see him again. If he tells me then.
“I’m sure he will.”
Reece slides his hand under my arm and pokes me in the armpit.
“Hey!” I squeal, twisting away from him.
“So you and Blake, huh?”
The heat from my face could set the car on fire.
He pokes me again and I smack his hand away. “He’s a cool guy. No reason to be embarrassed.”
I eye his hand, which is still within reach of tickling me. “I know, it’s just... I’m not usually the one with a boyfriend or whatever. Guys don’t see me like that.”
Evan snorts. “Are all the guys you know blind?”
“Ha, ha.”
“No, really. Either they’re blind or they’re gay, because—”
“You’re kind of smoking hot, Cally.” Reece interrupts.
“Oh, shut up. Now you’re just teasing.”
“Teasing, sure.” Evan says. “Lying, no.”
“And I know hot girls.” Reece manages to poke me again and I jump forward, slamming my knee into the dashboard.
“Okay, stop!” I push his hand away and punch Evan’s arm for good measure. “Can we talk about something else?”
My phone dings and they burst out laughing. “It’s not him.”
It’s Mike. And she wants to meet.