She was slowly beginning to lose some of her fear and I spent time with her reading the million and one baby books we’d bought. I figured the more she saw that we were in this together it would go a long way to alleviating her fears altogether. I told her we wouldn’t tell her dad on the phone, that we’d wait until they came back and that seemed to give her some respite. My first thought was to take her off somewhere and get hitched but that seemed like the wrong way to go, I believed that if we snuck off she might always think it was something to be ashamed of and I wasn’t about to start my kid’s life off that way, we were going to do this right. I’d already picked out a ring for her but I hadn’t told her about it yet I had some shit to take care of first. I didn’t even mourn the loss of my bachelorhood right now her happiness, her peace of mind is my only concern. The thought of a kid was growing on me too, after the initial shock had worn off and having to focus all my energy on her, I’ve had time to relax over the past few days and let the idea sink in.

“Babe oatmeal this morning.” She turned up her nose at me but she wasn’t having bacon and eggs everyday like she wanted to. She was back to being a pain in the ass her natural light heartedness coming back to the forefront.

The phone rang while we were having breakfast I didn’t even look at the caller ID just picked it up thinking it might be the office. My eyes flew to Nikki as the voice on the other end came through loud and clear. I’m pretty sure she could hear the caller if not exactly what was being said.

“We have to talk, some things have changed since the last time we saw each other…”

It was Cindy one of my ex bed partners, I could see from Nikki’s face that she was pissed there was no mistaking that it was a female on the other end of the line.

“I don’t really want to do this on the phone maybe I can come by and we can talk about it.”

I hung up the phone after making arrangements to go handle my shit, I knew I had to do this, it’s the reason I hadn’t given her the ring as yet it didn’t sit right with me to do that with those relationships left unsettled. The truth is I haven’t even given the women a second thought since Nikki and I started fucking but it was something I had to handle. These women had been good to me and there was no reason for me to be unkind to them now. Plus if Nikki was going to be my wife and live in this town I didn’t want any hard feelings between them.

She got up from the table and stormed out of the room. “Nicola.” Shit, I have no idea how to deal with this shit; I’m not accustomed to having to explain myself to anyone not since I left the service.

 The door slammed upstairs and I geared myself up for battle, I wasn’t looking forward to another scene like the Pamela Sue debacle though I knew there was a bit of a double standard going on here because there was no way in hell I would ever let her go to some guy to break things off or for any reason.

I found her lying across the bed in the fetal position glaring at the wall, fucking women. Without saying a word to her I just laid down beside her and pulled her into my arms.

 “Baby, I knew these women before you came into my life, they’re friends okay and after today they will be nothing more I promise you. I just can’t in good conscience break things off in any other way, please try to understand.”

“I don’t want you to see them.”

“I understand that but do you understand my point? They haven’t done anything wrong I don’t want there to be any bad blood between you and them if you’re going to live here so I have to handle shit cordially.” She didn’t say anything but I knew she was still not happy with it. I’ll have to come up with a scenario that would work for both of us what that was I had no fucking idea; the situation was fucked.

“I don’t like it why can’t you just tell them it’s over on the phone? It’s not like they were your girlfriends you said you had no commitment to any of them.”

I maybe shouldn’t have told her so much about my past with these women but she’d hounded me for days after the Pamela Sue thing and it was the only way at the time to reassure her. I knew what I had to do; hopefully it wouldn’t hurt her too much that’s no way to start off a relationship but I can’t see me just callously disregarding these women like refuge when all they were guilty of was letting me into their beds. I realized that she didn’t know me that well after all was said and done so she had no way of knowing my core of loyalty, or that I never break my word once it’s given. That’s something that only time can teach her.

Placing my hand over her still flat stomach I turned her so that I could look into her eyes hoping that for now somehow she would see the truth there.

“Baby I want you to listen to me, this in here is mine, that means you are mine, I take care of what’s mine always. I will never do anything to purposely harm you or hurt your heart. If I tell you I have to do something then it’s because I think it’s the best course of action, and this is probably going to be the last time I ever explain myself to you because that’s not my style. We clear?”

She nodded her head but I knew she was full of shit, I know females they can’t leave shit alone for shit. I could always sneak out and go to see them, get it over with to avoid the drama but that goes against who I am so I’ll just have to roll with the punches.