Chapter 10
I’m half tempted to run back home and never ever find out what he said. Because then I could pretend that he cared, that he wanted to see me, that… something.
But that’s stupid, and I know it, so I creep back into the building through the back door, listening out for voices from the kitchen. Pete doesn’t even say anything, just rolls his eyes at me. I can hear the general buzz of customers and Maddy saying she’ll be right there. I don’t hear him. I’m pretty sure I’d recognize his voice from across the room, through a locked door, recognize it in a crowd of hundreds.
So, he’s either not in there, or he’s not talking. I peek through the hatch and look. No sign of him. Just a normal Wednesday at Lido’s Loco.
“Get out of my kitchen,” grumps Pete, shoving me out of the way.
Deep down, I’m disappointed. A tiny part of me thought maybe he would stay, that he would refuse to leave the premises until I spoke to him. I mean, even if Maddy didn’t crack under pressure, and I know she would, he must know that there’s no way I’m on break for more than half an hour, especially with Maddy alone on the floor. If he really wanted to see me, he could have.
So, he doesn’t care, and that’s that.
I tie my apron back on, adjusting the label on the uniform where it itches my back, pin my hair up out of my face, and then finally, after Pete threatens to call the owner, I make my way back to the floor. I might as well get on with being Boring Old Crystal, Old Maid at Twenty-One. Virgin waitress extraordinaire. Maybe I’ll try that new cherry flavored ice cream this weekend.
Maddy looks pretty cheerful as she flirts with some 70-year-old guy, while I serve some old biddy who can’t decide if she’d rather have the burger or the all-day breakfast. Everything about the scene is so mundane, it just makes me want to cry. It’s not Knox — I’m over him totally. I’m not even asking Maddy what he said. It’s just that for that one night, everything seemed so exciting. Life with Knox was special, like the entire world went back into Technicolor, and now I’m stuck back in black and white. It’s hard to bear just continuing with my boring old life.
I sidle up to Maddy. “So, he wants the dress?”
“The dress?” Maddy looks almost surprised. What, like she didn’t know I was dying to know what he had to say? “Oh, yeah, he said no, you can keep it.”
“Like I will ever have anywhere to wear it to again,” I say sulkily now. “Maybe I will just sell it on Ebay, after all.”
She waves at someone across the room and heads to the counter to pick up some menus.
“So, what did he want, then?” I follow her like a lost shadow. I don’t think she’s being deliberately cruel; she just has the attention span of a gnat. And I did tell her I didn’t care what he had to say. But it’s not like Maddy to believe me.
“Yeah, about that. Give me a sec, and I’ll tell you.”
Three tables decide they are ready to order at once, and then there’s all the drinks to do, so it ends up being half an hour before it’s quiet enough to chat again. I don’t say anything else, because I don’t want to look stupid or, worse, look like I care about him.
“He needs another date,” she tells me.
I snort-laugh and then cover my face in embarrassment. But Jesus, seriously? “So what, he’s taking you this time?”
She spins and stares at me. “What? No! He wanted to know how he could convince you to go with him.”
Just ask says the treacherous part of my brain. But of course, I’m the one who ran away before he could get the chance.
“I don’t know,” I tell Maddy more honestly. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Besides, why me?”
“I guess this woman he’s trying to do a deal with specifically asked for you?”
“Mrs. Scaravelli? That’s so funny! But I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it. I mean, I barely talked to her. She’s just being polite.”
Maddy chews her lip and then holds my gaze. “I promised him I’d talk you into it.”
“Maddy, why?”
“Oh my God, you have to ask? Because he’s gorgeous. Because I’m starting to worry that you are going to die a virgin. Because I’m your friend, and I know you’ve fallen head over heels for this guy, even if you won’t admit it. Because you’ve been pining away all week,” she snapped back at me as she went to deal with table 14.
“That’s not true!” Even though I know it is. Then a horrible thought strikes me. “Did you tell him that?”
“Of course not!” But she’s not looking me in the eye again. Oh God, that’s all I need, is for him to know that after one date I was pining away like some love-struck teenager. He’ll probably change his mind now and be glad for the lucky escape.
But the truth is, there’s a part of my heart that is singing. I feel a lightness inside me that I haven’t felt since I first met him. I’ve got a silly grin on my face that returns every time I think I’ve got myself under control again. Is that hope?
I shouldn’t hope. I shouldn’t even think about another date that’s not a date. I should leave New York and never see the man again if I want to protect myself. I should tell him I’m not interested and to stop appearing in my life. I should tell him to go away forever.
I should, but I know I’m not going to. And as I clear up the tables, I can’t stop humming that terrible love song we waltzed to, My Prince and My Heart.