Chapter 10

Darren hung up the phone Sunday afternoon relieved. What started off as supposedly going to be a busy day suddenly got a lot lighter. This morning, he’d gotten up to go deal with a tenant who was moving out quickly so he could get back to Indianapolis. He then rushed across town to the apartment complex, let himself into the office, and collected some documents he needed for banking. By the time he finished, it was nearly three o’clock and the weather outside was wonderful. Sherry had just been getting the baby bag and heading out when he walked through the front door.

“Where are you headed to?” Darren asked.

“Oh, I was just going to take Gabriel to the park,” Sherry explained. “We were just out back after he had lunch and the weather is great, so I thought about taking him to, you know, that park downtown where the people walk their dogs and they play with each other.”

“He loves dogs,” Darren said, rubbing the side of his son’s head.

“Yea, that’s just what I was thinking,” Sherry said. “And I’m sure a lot of people will be out with theirs today.”

“Hmm,” Darren said. He then said he needed to make a phone call and he’d be ready to go. Ten minutes later, he met Sherry with Gabriel out on the porch. He insisted on driving then they walked down to his MKZ and climbed in.

At Headwaters Park, Gabriel’s face lit up like a child on Christmas when he saw puppies. He laughed when tiny, ankle bitter dogs, as Sherry called them, came close and barked. His eyes filled with terror and he clung to Sherry desperately when big dogs came nearby. A playful Saint Bernard got to close to Gabriel that the baby screamed. Darren sitting next to her, they both comforted baby Gabriel until he called down. Soon enough, the baby drifted off to sleep in Sherry’s arms. Darren and Sherry both leaned back and gazed out at the green grass, rolling over the slope then descending into a thick wooded layer separating the park’s open space from the rushing St. Mary’s River. A chilling breeze whipped by.

Oh, she doesn’t have any children? Interesting?

“So, Sherry,” Darren said, bravely. “I don’t know if we ever talked about it yet, but I don’t think you ever told me if you want any kids one day.”

Sherry turned away from Darren and stared off toward the walking trail coming out of the woods. Within only a matter of seconds, a young mother pushing a stroller walked into view. “Uh, well….” she said, thinking of her own baby. The memory of walking into that adoption agency with Gabriel popped into her mind with a vengeance. She had long dealt with the guilt, but it still was sharp enough to sting her, even if only momentarily, like a needle pressing into her skin.

“I don’t know,” Sherry said, turning toward Darren. “I really don’t know at this point.” She chuckled. “Sometimes you don’t know what you want until it comes to you, I guess.” She felt one of her eyes swelling up, so she wiped it quickly and held her head high as she tried to show as little emotion as possible.

Darren nodded, looking into Gabriel’s sleeping face then at Sherry. Mom and Aunt Carol were really on to something. Gabriel’s eyes were strikingly similar to Sherry’s. In fact, Darren was amazed he had never noticed before his mother and aunt pointed it out. His eyes were then drawn to the dip above Sherry’s upper lip. This too was similar to the one between Gabriel’s lips and nose. This is strange, he thought. Gabriel looks just like Sherry. Throughout his life, Darren had been in many households where nannies were the primary caretakers to their employers’ children. Sure, it wasn’t strange for a nanny to be close to their boss’s children almost like mothers; however, much like he noticed before, such as when Gabriel woke up in the night, the bond between his adopted son and Sherry seemed far stronger than one would expect.

“I see, I see,” Darren said, accepting Sherry’s answer. “I just wondered. You seem like you would be a good mother.”

“I do?” Sherry asked, turning her head quickly. “You really think so?” She still envisioned herself as the woman working at various bars throughout her early twenties. If a guy was looking to have a fun time, she was available and ready to go. Hooking up with a guy from Chicago only visiting for the night was better than getting with a local guy who might be a little too clingy and be looking to settle down.

“Hell yeah,” Darren said, staring out at a dog jumping to catch a Frisbee. “My mom and aunt liked you...if that means anything to you.”

Sherry laughed out loud. She imagined Darren’s mother Joan walking down the walkway and out to the street sidewalk. Just before she’d gone upstairs with Gabriel after standing in the shadows of the foyer and staring out the window, she imaged a much more toned-down version of Cruella Deville.

“Your mother was….was… She’s interesting.”

Darren’s eyes cut to Sherry. “Is that how you would describe her?” His head shook. “There’s a lot of ways to describe her. She was going to stay longer, like she talked about weeks ago, but she has her corruption to get back to, so she has to run.”

A giggle slipped out of Sherry’s mouth. “Darren, you don’t have to say that.”

“What?” Darren asked, holding his hands up. “It’s the truth.” He chuckled. “But, that’s Mom. She wants me to join one of the older churches.”

“Really?” Sherry asked. “Um, your mom didn’t exactly seem like a church-going kind of lady. No offense…”

Darren dismissively waved away the subject. “She’s not. She just wants me to go so I can make certain kinds of connections. Growing up, she always told us that church was the best place to find old money.”

Sherry’s face fell flat from disbelief. “You can’t be serious.” At that very moment, she realized how small-town-from-Indiana she really was. She shook her head, snickering. “That is...is...”

“My mother,” Darren said, confidently. “Yup, that’s Mommy. She’s off to do something about a judge’s case then defend some prosecutor’s drunk driving daughter so she can get some favors done for my dad.”

“What in the world?” Sherry asked. “Your family sounds like the mafia.” She playfully squinted at Darren. “I wonder who you are really? Why did you come to Fort Wayne? Are there about to be dead bodies coming up floating in Chicago?”

Darren chuckled then looked away devilishly. “No, I brought them here to a place where nobody will find them.”

Sherry looked at Darren then away, once again feeling her heart beat for this man in ways it hadn’t been for any man in quite some time.

Darren and Sherry eventually got up and walked the park for about thirty minutes before loading back into the car and heading back home. Sherry updated Darren on how Gabriel’s day had been. Once Sherry finished up explaining, he couldn’t help but to notice how Sherry looked back at Gabriel. It was as if Gabriel represented more for her than a job. Darren finally felt the courage to ask her something he’d been wanting to know since meeting her. “Have you ever had a child, Sherry?”

Sherry’s head quickly turned toward Darren. “Huh? Why do you ask that?”
“Because,” Darren said. “I just have a strong feeling. If I’m wrong or asking something too personal, then please forgive. It’s just...it’s just...I sensed something. I could tell you were getting over something when I hired you. Again, if it’s too hard to open up about, then you don’t have to answer.”

Sherry turned toward her window, looking at the convention center as Darren drove passed it. She sighed, realizing that it would probably do her some good to open up about it to Darren. They connected so well, even though the nature of their relationship was anything but ordinary.

“Yeah,” Sherry said, never pulling her eyes away from the window. “I did. I had a son.”

“Oh, okay,” Darren said, He noticed her unwavering, blank stare. “And may I ask what happened to him?”

Sherry sniffled then held her head up. “I...I...I had to give him up for adoption. I just wasn’t ready to be taking care of a child… I just couldn’t. I got my diagnosis when I was pregnant and then everything in my life seemed to go downhill from there. I did the best thing I knew to do. Look at me… I’m a nanny and that was really out of desperation, at least at first. I wasn’t fit to take care of a child...or so I thought.”
Darren decided against asking about the diagnosis part as they continued the way home. He listened to Sherry open up about giving her son up for adoption and how it was one of the hardest things she’d ever done. She admitted she wondered some days where her child wound up. Had he been placed with a good family that would indeed give him a better life than she could?

When Darren pulled up out front of the house, the conversation had long transcended into other things. Sherry suddenly felt more like a human-being when she revealed her secret to Darren; yet, she did feel as if she were being judged. Shortly after putting Gabriel back into his crib, she stepped out into the hallway and was surprised by Darren’s presence. He quickly rushed up to the thought-consumed woman and wrapped his arms around her waist. Sherry closed her eyes and melted into his embrace.

“Darren, we...” Sherry began saying. Her words were cut off by a passionate kiss.

“Come on,” Darren said. He wanted to be with her tonight. “Just come with me.”

Sherry turned around, her eyes practically glowing in the dimly-lit hallway. With a smile on his face, Darren led her into his bedroom and gently pulled her into the bed. Sherry lay on top of Darren, kissing him passionately. There was no place in the world Sherry would want to be right then; whatever anxieties Darren harbored inside suddenly disappeared. Neither one of them ever spoke.

Several minutes of passionate kissing passed by quickly. Darren chuckled then helped Sherry lift her shirt over her head. She giggled as well, knowing exactly what this meant. With everything she’d been through, as well as all the changes it brought to her body and personality, Darren was a guy who clearly was genuinely interested in her regardless. Sherry looked down at the man, smiling as she lowered her chest into his face. Like his frat boy days during college he talked about, he pressed his face into her chest.

“Okay, okay,” Sherry said, pulling back. “You seem to have a little too much fun with that.”

Darren smiled and nodded. He then placed his hand on the back of Sherry’s head and ran his hands through her silky hair. They locked eyes and smiled. Both wanted to say so much, but neither could form any thoughts.

Before they knew it, Sherry and Darren rolled around kissing on the bed. When Sherry had finally gotten Darren locked down under her weight, she undid his shirt. The man laughed at how she wildly Sherry had gotten, commenting on her feisty ways.

Once the lust between the two of them became too great, they rushed to get all of their clothes off. With the late afternoon sun penetrating the windows, Sherry anxiously climbed on top of Darren. Once again, she watched his eyes roll back into his head; felt his warm hands grip her waist. She grinded at first to get used to him; rising all the way up then going down slowly. Curse words slipped out of Darren’s lips while he enjoyed every single moment.

“I can’t take anymore, I can’t take anymore!”

Before Sherry could even process Darren’s words, he had already leaned up. In one quick move, he moved his arms up to her mid-back, flipped her over, then gently lay her on her back. He leaned in and pressed his lips into hers. Never did his cock slip out; he kept his stroke steady until he got into his rhythm. Sherry’s squirming legs and her soft moans drove him crazy; the concentrated look in Darren’s face made her lose track of time.

Their sweaty bodies pressed against one another as Darren made love to Sherry with so much passion. She rubbed his back; he licked her ear. Every so often, like a hound dog, he would lean down and kiss all over her breasts fanatically. Sherry bit her bottom lips as she rubbed the dome of Darren’s head.

“There’s somethin’ I wanna do,” Sherry said.

Darren slowed down, looking into Sherry’s eyes. He raised his eyebrow suggestively as he pulled out and leaned up. He rested on his knees while watching Sherry turn over, lift up onto her knees, then arch her back as she looked up toward the window. “Hmm,” Darren said under his breath. “I like the view.”

“I’m not done yet,” Sherry said. Her hair flung over her shoulder as she turned and looked back into Darren’s eyes. She then reached back, grabbed his shaft, and positioned the head at the entrance to her pussy so that when she pushed back, it slid inside. Darren gripped her waist as she did just that and watched Sherry thrust back. He kept his back straight as he enjoyed the sight.

Sweat trickled down Darren’s face then dripped down to the comforter. Sherry moaned, almost so loud they worried about whether or not baby Gabriel would wake up. However, this worry soon dissipated into the bedroom’s funky air. Darren couldn’t hold back anymore. Like a beast, he gripped Sherry’s waist so hard she felt locked in place then pounded her with every muscle in his body. Shortly after Sherry screamed out that she was going to come, Darren felt his balls draw up closer to his body. “Damn,” he said.

The two lovers had their orgasm nearly simultaneously then Darren leaned over, lying over Sherry’s body. Soon enough, with the orange hued of sunset penetrating the windows, they lay next to one another. Their breathing was in unison as their eyelids fluttered. Darren held Sherry close as they drifted to sleep.

***

Two Nights Later

The week had gotten off to a hectic start once again. A tenant in Darren’s apartment complex was involved in some sort of raid where the police had to kick in the door to enter the unit. A contractor dealing with a major plumbing issue at one of his investment properties finally got back with him about an estimate...and the dollar amounts weren’t exactly pleasing to Darren. His mother called with her usual crap about wanting him to think about getting into a committed relationship then get married. By the time Darren had gotten home that night, climbing into bed and sleeping like a bear was the only thing he could think to do.

Sherry had been sitting out on the terrace, in thought, when she noticed Darren’s shadow reaching out onto the brick. She turned around and found him coming down the couple of steps separating the kitchen area from the dining area. He closed the front of his robe, tying a loose knot in the front.

“Hey,” Darren said. This morning, when he’d been on his way out the door, Sherry was feeding Gabriel in the kitchen. Unlike last time, when he instinctively leaned over to kiss Sherry, he didn't stop. They both smiled at one another as he headed for the foyer. “You doing okay?”

Darren plopped down next to Sherry then propped his leg up on a concrete flower bed between themselves and the banister. Sherry smiled, appreciating how legitimately concerned this man was about her well-being. She smiled, touching his arm then looking away so she could utter the question that had been wearing on her mind. “What are we?”

“What are we?” Darren asked. “What do you mean?”

Sherry turned and looked at Darren. “Well, let me ask you first. I’ve been wanting to ask this. Why did you decide to adopt a child rather than get married and stuff?”
Darren’s happy smiled suddenly flatted. This was going to come up eventually, he thought. And the feelings he had for Sherry were so real, he didn’t mind revealing a bit. “I didn’t want to get married….kind of weary of it, to be honest. So, I decided I was ready to have a kid and everything and just went ahead and adopted.”

“I see,” Sherry said, turning away once again. She figured commitment issues could’ve been Darren’s problems. He had everything going for him a woman could want in a man, but she had no doubt anxieties about losing everything in a divorce were probably first and foremost on the guy’s mind. “Okay.”

“Okay what?” Darren asked. “You asked what are we? Why did you ask that? What is it that you wanna be? I can tell something has been on your mind all day, Sherry. What are you really getting at?”

“I’ve just been doing some thinking about what all this is telling me,” Sherry said. “And I’m starting to really think about some things in ways I didn’t before.”

“Some things like what?” Darren asked.

“I wonder how you see me,” Sherry said. “And what me getting this job might really be trying to tell me.” Sherry continued on, propelled by Darren’s questioning face. “I have a reason I’m asking you.”

Sherry listened as Darren divulged the feelings he had toward her. Some comments she took with a grain of salt. This is the kind of guy who would probably be okay with being a friends with benefits kind of situation. Her mind had been racking all day; her heart had been heavy. When Darren finished up by saying that it’d been a long time since he had these kinds of feelings for another woman, Sherry pushed the words out of her mouth: “You’re the last guy I slept with.”

Darren’s eyes bugged. “Yeah, well, I would hope so.” He chuckled. “We just slept together a couple of nights ago, so I would hope so.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying, Darren,” Sherry said. “I’m talking about since I had my baby I gave up for adoption. I found out I was pregnant a couple months after we hooked up and you were the only guy I slept with before then. Before you, it had been a while.”

Darren’s confused face was too hard to ignore. Eventually, intense thought made him rise up out of the seat. He paced around for a moment. “So, what are you trying to say?”

“What I’m trying to say is that with each day I’m here with Gabriel, I think about that baby boy I gave up for adoption,” Sherry said.

“Wait a minute, that’s not what I mean.” Darren’s tone became defensive. He thought about what Sherry’s revelation could really mean: that he had a child all along. “I left my card with you. You could’ve called.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” Sherry said, getting emotional. “You don’t know what I was going through.”

“So, do you really think the child was mine?” Darren asked. Sherry’s silence and avoiding eye contact was enough for him to get what she was saying. He nodded. “And so you’ve been thinking this ever since you came here for the interview?”
“No, no,” Sherry said. “I’ve just been thinking about it, and some other things, more and more lately. Sometimes...you know...the guilt of being a woman who gave up her newborn child. Then I started to think about some things. I mean, I thought about you back when I had the child, but you weren’t the kind of guy I usually hooked up with like that. I guess… I guess what I’m trying to say is I felt like you were out of my league...probably wouldn’t remember me, much.”

Darren shook his head. Mental anguish set in from the thought that he could’ve gotten her pregnant that night. He hadn’t used a condom; drinks from the bar then the dancing blurred his memory. Had Sherry said anything about birth control? “So, how would I ever find out if it was my child or not? Why didn’t you call me and tell me then? I mean, did you call any of the guys you hooked up with to see? Did you even try to find the father?”

Sherry’s eyes swelled with tears – the shame – and she looked away as that painful chapter in her life rushed back into her heart like liquid ice. “No, I didn’t look for the father… I wasn’t even sure if I was going to get to be a mother.”

“You didn’t have to give a child up without at least first seeing if the father would take it,” Darren said. He thought about how he could’ve had his own flesh and blood, if it had already been on the way into the world, rather than go through the gruesome adoption process.

“You don’t understand, Darren,” Sherry said, being a little more forceful. “Five months into my pregnancy, I found out I had cancer….well, what could’ve become breast cancer. I got fired from my job, my car broke down, and I had to do treatments while I was sleeping on my best friend’s couch. I was so scared, I was… And now Gabriel…. I… I…” She gulped. “I feel like he’s mine.”

Darren watched as Sherry quickly rose up from the couch then rushed through the french doors and into the house. He called her name, rushing behind her in attempts to grab her hand and express his regret in his delivery. However, his efforts hadn’t been enough. He stopped at the edge of the kitchen island and watched as Sherry, sobbing from the guilt and shame only a mother who gave up her child could understand, rushed toward the staircase then disappeared into the dark.

Darren sighed then poured himself a glass of wine. He returned to his seat on the terrace and sipped the wine in thought. Little did he know, there was another inclination that had been brewing in Sherry’s mind for much of the afternoon...one that would rock a man’s heart and soul to the very core.
“I feel like he’s mine,” Darren said, repeating Sherry’s words as he analyzed them. “I feel like he’s mine.”