Chapter Seventeen
Releasing a long breath, Paul tucked Bethany’s hand through the crook of his arm, closed her fingers on his forearm, and covered her trembling hand with his own. He quickly led her away, not taking a chance she’d change her mind and want to end the conversation.
“I feel ridiculous,” she said.
Once they were alone on a shaded path, he stopped walking, and turned her to look at him. “Why would you even think any of this is ridiculous?”
She pulled her hand from his and walked to a cement bench, which marked where the path opened to a sea view. She sat and dropped her face into her hands.
“Because I should simply walk away from all of this. I’m not getting anywhere. You don’t take me seriously on the resort matters.”
“I take you very seriously,” he insisted, squatting before her and peeling her hands off her face. “You, koukla, are not the problem. Luxury Homes is. Your father is. He did you and Justin wrong. I can’t stomach the idea of him being anywhere near this place. And I won’t let anyone hurt the people I love.”
“And once again ridiculous.” She worried her lip, and he touched a finger to her chin to make her stop. “Not only am I in a difficult professional position, but my personal situation, actually our personal relationship is truly bizarre. Don’t you get that the mixed signals are too much to handle?”
He could see the yearning in her eyes and his heart longed to answer. There was nothing bizarre about their relationship; they simply hadn’t acknowledged what it meant. It was time. He needed to bring everything into the open.
“You love Justin?” Paul asked.
“Of course,” she said, holding his gaze. “And you love Justin.”
It wasn’t a question, but he knew she expected an answer.
“I do.”
“Then what am I doing with the two of you? This,” she flicked her hand between them, “this isn’t good. I can’t be a business nemesis and a BFF. And, I can’t be a BFF and deny what I feel inside. I’m a bundle of contradictions. We’re a bundle of contradictions.”
He leaned back on his heels, fit his legs between her feet, and nodded as he gazed up at her beautiful face. He knew exactly how she felt.
She wanted to buy Vaso’s Dream, she fit all the criteria of a great investor, but he didn’t want the resort sold to her company. Personally, he wanted to pull her against him and kiss the breath from her. But, she was supposed to be a friend. And friends didn’t deal with friends like that. They respected certain boundaries—boundaries that were more than blurred in their case.
“Forget the business nemesis. It’s settled. I will not aid Kosta with this sale.” That was the easy part of their dilemma. In all truth, Kosta didn’t really want to sell, and if Paul and Justin could come to an agreement on their future, the issue of Kosta needing to be on property all the time would be settled.
“You can’t negate everything I’ve done. No,” she snipped. “I’m not backing off because you say so.”
“Don’t back off.” One never told the competition what to do. Nor did one discuss the game plan. “I didn’t want the resort sold even before your dad was a factor. Now, I definitely won’t condone such a deal. I agreed to today because of you. Because I didn’t want to disappoint the woman Justin loves and the woman I want to get to know.”
“Our past has nothing to do with the deal,” she pointed out, every bit the strong and competent businessperson she was. “I’ve collected all the information, and I’ve already made my decision. The rest was just icing on the cake. A way to present it to Luxury Homes and assure what I want happens.”
“And we don’t need to work on this together,” Paul added. “We can compartmentalize the different relationships. You deal directly with Kosta and Christo where the resort is concerned. I’ll back off.”
A solitary tear slipped down her cheek.
“But we still need to talk.” He caught it with his thumb and wiped it away, unwilling to let a business transaction come between them. “Tell me what you feel?”
She grasped his wrist, and even though he wanted to keep touching her, she managed to move his hand away. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, held it for what seemed like an eternity, then released it slowly, as if fighting for peace.
“Talk to me. Tell me.”
“Paul, you know how it is between us,” she said. “You brought it up and said as much last night. We have chemistry.” She shuddered as she spoke, but she stretched out her spine, sat straight, and didn’t avoid the difficult part.
Respect for this beautiful woman filled his chest, gripping his heart. She was more than wonderful. Brave and honest, she’d placed it all out in the open, with no regard to her comfort or ego.
“We do,” he said, once again not willing to lie. “Justin and I knew right away. I felt it from the first moment on the ferry. We have sexual chemistry. But we can’t risk our friendship. You mean too much to us.”
Okay, so he was speaking about risking her getting hurt, but it wasn’t a lie just because he didn’t specifically say so.
“We discussed it,” he admitted. “We’ve agreed it’s best to remain friends.”
“What? You discussed it? You agreed?” Annoyance colored her chest and the hollow at the center of her throat pulsed. “No one decides for me.”
She stood and glared down at him.
“Damn it, this is the new millennium. Women want and have sex often.” She held her hands out and opened and closed them. “Newsflash, some of us even have the audacity to initiate it.” And like the sexy little siren she was, she looked over his shoulder at two German tourists and smiled. When they acknowledged her, she wiggled her fingers. The Germans started toward them. “See?”
“Stop it.” Paul stood and yanked down her hands. He scowled at the Germans, and they changed direction. “You’re not being fair.”
“You know what’s not fair?” She linked her hands at the small of her back and paced the tiny clearing. “You and Justin have each other. You go home together. I go home alone. And that’s not fair. Maybe I want to go home with someone, too. But I can’t because you two are stuck to me like white on rice, reminding me of what I can’t have.”
“I thought you were here for work,” he said, grasping at straws to defuse the situation.
“Yeah, I am. And I can’t do that when you keep looking at me like you want to devour me, or keep touching me and setting my body on fire, or then one of you kisses me and rejects me. It’s too hard.”
He knew it to be the truth. He wouldn’t be happy in her position. And he didn’t want her unhappy.
“I won’t spend every free minute with you and Justin.” She kept pacing, ticking off the reasons on her fingers one at a time. “And since there is no reason for us to spend time alone on resort business, you need to let me be. I need time away. Time alone. Without you and Justin.”
“No,” he said, reaching for her wrist. “You can’t do that. That’s his biggest fear. He doesn’t want to lose you again.”
“You love him enough to do anything in order for him to be happy.”
“I do. I would.” But he was finding he’d do anything to keep her happy, too.
“You’re lucky to have each other. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.” She held her fist close to her chest and took a deep breath. “And while I’m truly happy for you, I can’t keep subjecting myself to the pain.”
“No. That’s not acceptable.” He burned to take her in his arms, tell her how important she was to them, and make it all better. “No pain. No hurt.”
“What hurts is not that you’re happy, but that you’re giving me mixed signals.”
Her gaze swept over him and her plea for distance was apparent. He didn’t want to see it. Didn’t want to think that someone else could get close to her. Not while they were in constant contact and communication. Maybe if she weren’t staying next door, maybe if he didn’t see her at every turn, then maybe he’d be able to accept it.
He scrubbed his hand over his face and shook his head.
No. Not even then.
He didn’t want anyone else with her.
“I know you’re committed to each other, and I’m working on being okay with being friends. I’m open to a relationship with you. I may be crazy, but I want a real relationship with you.”
Hell, would she be happier being friends with benefits?
“It hurts so much when neither one of you is willing to walk away or act on the sparks between us. We’re in a heated state of limbo. We can’t just ignore it and hope it goes away.”
The friends with benefits idea was front and center. Acting on it meant no ignoring of the sparks. He agreed. He wanted it.
“It’s because he can’t lose you again.” Swallowing his pride, he reached for the no-lying part he was committed to. “I don’t want to lose you. Don’t walk away, Bethy. Give us a chance, not to ignore this, but to figure things out.”
“I’m not walking away. I need some breathing room.” She removed his fingers from her wrist. “It’s just that this is too hard.”
“I understand,” he said, relieved she wasn’t turning her back on them, but not happy about the melancholy in her voice. “How can I make it better?”
“You can’t,” she said, moisture shining in her pretty eyes. “My body knows what it wants. It wants what it can’t have.”
He reached for her, curled his fingers around her nape, and held her to his chest. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in her scent.
“It may not make things better, but know that my body wants the same, koukla mou.”
She stayed in his embrace, her hands bunched between them, as her breath evened out and her body relaxed.
“Okay. We’re in agreement.” She pushed back and placed a soft kiss on his jaw. “You allow me time to acclimate to this new friendship. Don’t crowd me and give me space. Let me have a night of sleep. I give you my word that I won’t run.”
Feeling like he had no choice, he watched her walk away.
Let her go.