Convinced I was playing the part of a director in a reality show that wasn’t scripted, I sat in the production room with my newfound friends. Bobby, now aware of Eric’s upcoming arrival, was waiting in the garage.

“If this is her.” Nerd pointed to the monitor above him. “She’s got good taste. Look at that car.”

A red sports car pulled into the driveway and stopped halfway through the circle drive.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Jaguar F-Type.”

“Sounds expensive.”

“It is.”

It was hard to tell what she looked like while she was inside the car, but we didn’t wait long for her to reveal herself.

The car door opened. A bare leg swung out. A bedazzled flip-flop hit the stone driveway. Then, she stepped out.

“Damn.” Afro said.

Franky was right. She could pass for my sister. Blonde, tan, and with a much better beach body than I possessed, she was incredibly pretty. Wearing jean shorts, a cute sleeveless top, and sandals, her clothing didn’t quite seem to match the car.

Eric got out of the car and stepped to her side. Together, they walked up the sidewalk as if they didn’t have a worry in the world.

“She uhhm.” Nerd removed his glasses, cleaned the lenses, and then put them back on. He pointed at the monitor. “She looks kind of like you.”

“Similar, I suppose,” I said dryly. I grinned at the thought of what Kelli might say when she saw her.

He rubbed his hands together and tilted his chair up on the back legs. “Oh, this is going to be good.”

They came in the house, and Eric took her on a quick tour. My eyes darted from monitor to monitor as they walked out of one area and into another. After wandering throughout the home, he took her to the back deck. She seemed to lack interest, admired the pool, and then they came inside.

“It’s 12:50.” Afro said. “They’re either going to make something to eat, or they’ll go fuck. There’s nothing else to do.”

I hoped there was a little foreplay this time. Something that Kelli would be excited to air after a little editing.

“She doesn’t look like she eats much,” Nerd said. “I say they’re going upstairs.”

“She’s tiny,” I said. “I doubt she eats much, either.”

Nerd wrinkled his nose. “You two are identical.”

I pointed at the monitor as she walked down the hallway. Her tanned ballerina legs were perfect. “You’re saying I look like that?”

“Yep.”

I didn’t, but it was nice hearing it.

They walked through the kitchen and to the back stairway. After a little whispering that none of us could hear, they walked up the stairway, Eric first.

“Look at that ass,” Afro said. “Damn.”

Nerd pushed his glasses against his face and nodded. “She’s got a phenomenal ass.”

“My butt does not look like--”

“Sure does,” Nerd said.

My eyes shot to him. “Seriously?”

“When you wear those little cut-offs with the flower on them? Uhhm. Yeah.”

I knew the shorts he was talking about. They were my favorites. Having him reference them, however, was kind of creepy.

“Okay. You’re starting to creep me out,” I said.

“Don’t worry,” he said with a laugh. “If this goes how I think it will, you’ll be old news in a few minutes.”

I turned toward the monitor. “Good.”

Eric and Ballerina legs walked into the bedroom. He pointed out the cameras. “See? They’re everywhere.”

She looked at the camera, smiled, and waved. “Hi.”

“Damn, that’s one cute little bitch,” Nerd said.

I rolled my eyes.

“Jerky?” Afro asked.

“Sure.”

He handed me a Slim Jim. By the time my attention went to the monitor, Eric was stripped down to his boxers and she was wearing her bra and panties.

“Jesus,” I said. “They’re wasting no time.”

He gnawed on the beef stick. “Doesn’t look like it.”

They climbed on the bed and got under the covers. After a little kissing, she disappeared under the blanket. It was no secret where she was, and although she hadn’t made the announcement yet, it was obvious from the motion of the blanket that she’d found Eric’s prize.

“What the fuck?” Nerd exclaimed. “What is this shit? The PG version?”

He took off his glasses and glared at Afro. “Dude.”

“Don’t look at me,” he said. “I can’t fix it.”

He set his glasses on the edge of the makeshift bench and rubbed his eyes. “First, he bends some merkin wearing bitch over the bed and pounds her from behind. When he’s done, he pulls out and blows a quart of cum all over her face. From that he goes to getting a handy under the covers? Seriously? Are we in fucking high school?”

“Maybe she’s a prude,” Afro said.

“The dude’s hung like a rhinoceros. She had to know that. And, she came home with him to a house that’s rigged with cameras. She’s not a prude. He’s fucking with us. He made us watch the chick with the moose knuckle, and now he’s keeping the good shit under the covers.”

I shot him a look. “Moose knuckle?”

“It’s like a camel toe, only worse.” He reached for his glasses. “Google it sometime.”

Ballerina leg’s head emerged from under the covers. She situated herself into a seated position on Eric’s torso with the blanket draped over her shoulders.

He cupped her boobs in his hands and began softly squeezing them.

“Fuck yes,” Nerd said. “Get those titties out. Toss the bra, Rhino. C’mon. I know you want to.”

His massive biceps flared as he continued squeezing them, all the while being cautious not to allow either of them to pop out of their confines.

They exchanged a few whispers, all of which were indiscernible. The boob rubbing continued, and she whispered something else.

Eric shook his head adamantly, but continued to knead her flesh in his massive hands.

“Damn it, Rhino.” Nerd slapped his hand against the edge of the bench. “I’m getting fucking blue balls.”

“Is that a real thing?” I asked.

Afro chuckled. “No. It’s a ploy on a man’s part to get a woman to give it up.”

I’d heard the phrase every time I refused my boyfriend sex while we were in high school. I wasn’t surprised. “Really?”

He grabbed another beef stick and offered me one. “Yep.”

I took a jerky from the box. “Nice to know.”

“Looks like we’re wrapping this one up,” Nerd said.

My eyes shot to the monitor. “What?”

Ballerina legs was beside the bed getting dressed.

Now, I was frustrated. With my eyes glued to the monitor, I pushed myself away from the bench and stood. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

She put on her shorts and reached for her top. “Are you going to call me?”

“Uhhm. No,” I said. “He’s not.”

“Sure,” Eric said.

She put her top on. “I love the house.”

“Thanks. It’ll do for now, I guess.”

He got dressed and walked her to the front door. After a hug and a playful kiss on the lips, she got in her car and left.

“Un-fucking-believable,” I said.

Visions of Kelli waking me up again and then screaming at me for orchestrating a G-rated make out session filled my mind. My thoughts mirrored Nerd’s. To have Eric do what he did with Karen, and then exhibit the behavior of a prepubescent teen with Ballerina legs was ridiculous.

“Thanks for nothing,” Nerd said with a laugh.

I turned toward the door. “I’ll have a talk with him about it. It won’t happen again.”

“Let’s hope not. That was pretty disappointing.”

“Believe me,” I said. “No one is more disappointed than me.”

“I’d be willing to wipe the debt clean if you can talk her into coming back and showing some skin,” Nerd said.

“Yeah. Same here,” Afro said.

I needed money bad. My supply had dwindled, leaving me with little, if any, to survive for the rest of the show. “How about a hundred from each of you if I can get them to have sex?”

“If it’s on film,” Afro said. “I’m in.”

Nerd’s hand shot in the air. “Ditto.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” I said.

Kelli was going to kill me for the kissing scene, that much I was sure. I needed to find out what the hell Eric was thinking, and get his head back in the game.

I just hoped we could fix it before Kelli showed up.

I stepped into the hallway, only to meet Eric as he came of the top of the steps.

I shot him a glare. “What the fuck was that?”

“I thought you wanted something that they could air on the show?”

“They pay a team of pot smoking idiots to edit that shit, Eric. Give them everything and they turn it into whatever they want. But if you give them kissing, they can’t make it sexy. This show caters to adults, not teens.”

He raised both hands and acted like he was squeezing a tit. “I squeezed her boobs.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I saw that. It was the highlight of the show. Kelli’s going to shit.”

His face washed with worry. “Do you think so?”

“I know so.”

“I thought I did good.”

“She gave you a fucking hand job.” I pressed my hands to my hips and did my best to act aggravated. “I felt like I was in high school.”

“She didn’t even finish.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Did you feel like you were in high school?”

He nodded. “Yeah, kind of.”

Despite being sober, I was exhausted and didn’t really want to stand there and attempt to resolve the issue completely. “Look,” I said. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

His shoulders slumped. “Sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix it,” I said. “Be ready tomorrow to talk this out.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight,” I said.

“Goodnight.”

Kelli was going to kill me.

I just hoped I got a good night’s sleep first.