I feel Ace slowly tug his arm from under the pillow and roll away from me. I peer at him from under my lashes, still being lured back into my dreams by the heaviness of sleep tugging at my eyelids. He makes a fire and then stands up. I feel like I only blink for a second, but the next thing I know, Ace is hunched over me, giving me a shake. He holds his gloved finger over his lips and nods up to where Razor is passed out on the sofa.

I sit up on the floor. “Why are you dressed for outside?” I whisper.

“Gunnar and I are getting a head start to Fairbanks. I’m taking him in the truck.”

“What? Why? The medics are coming, we need you here.” My voice grows more shrill and Ace motions for me to keep it down.

“You guys got this. You don’t need me here for the medics, they’ll take care of him and airlift you guys to the hospital. But if I don’t drive there, I can’t go. There’s no way I’m leaving Gunnar behind and there’s no fucking way I’m gonna let them take you guys out of here while I wait around. I’ll go crazy just wondering what’s happening.”

“So, you’re taking the truck?”

“Yeah, but it’s about three hours to get there, so I’ve gotta head out now.” He points to the little digital read out of the time on the DVD player. It says it’s four o’clock. There’s still quite some time before the sun rises.

“How will you find us?” I scrunch my eyebrows together and glance over at Razor.

“They’ll take him to the Memorial Hospital.” Ace is clearly confident.

“Won’t they go to the Vet Center?”

“No, that’s more for mental health. Definitely not for broken bones. Just trust me, okay. And take care of my boy.” He gives me a quick kiss and walks away.

I listen to Gunnar and Ace walk out the door and slide back down onto the floor. Beside the warm fire, it doesn’t take long to fall back asleep.

* * *

I jolt awake and struggle to make sense of the sound assaulting my ears. Razor gives me a tight-lipped smile, clearly struggling with pain.

“What is that?” I listen to the whirring.

“That’s the helicopter.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

He doesn’t answer. He just grimaces, his mouth twisting over and his face forming a silent scream. I jump up and grab him some more painkillers and water, he swallows them down as the sound outside gets louder.

I’ve been around Cessna’s my entire life, but I’ve never been anywhere close to a helicopter before. I look out into the yard and marvel at how it can land so closely to the house under such control. I watch the medics jump out and grab a stretcher and bag. I hold the door open for them and they don’t stop for chitchat, running straight inside and over to Razor.

“What do we got, boss?” the man with fiery red locks of hair asks Razor.

“Break in the lower leg. It’s already splinted and set,” he answers grimly.

“Bring the board over!” the redhead yells at his partner, a burly man with a shaved bald head and a comically large moustache.

They take no time at all to set Razor up on the board and get him strapped in. They unfold a large, tinfoil blanket and loosely tuck it in around him. It all takes less than five minutes. I’m just stunned, standing in the corner, trying to stay out of the way.

They lift him up and head toward the door when I panic and spring back to life. “Wait! I need to go with you!”

“Only family.” Mr. Moustache shakes his head.

“She’s my fiancée,” Razor lies.

The medics exchange a look and the man with red curls shrugs. “Hurry up, let’s get going then.” He sniffs at me. I don’t give him a reason to change his mind, I quickly hurry into my boots and coat and follow them to the helicopter, ducking my head under the propellers like they do.

We’re loaded in and strapped down quickly. Before I have a chance to really think about how this is my first time flying since my crash, we’re lifting off the ground. The cabin sinks below us, growing smaller and smaller, until it looks like a model toy, not a home. We swiftly glide across the sky, flying much lower than I’m used to in my little plane.

Razor is lying still, his eyes shut tight and his lips pursed. I’m not sure if it’s the pain he’s fighting, or something else. It’s not like conversations can easily be had in here.

I look down at the familiar view below and a pang hits me. I didn’t even realize how badly I missed Qilaq until now. It hits me that she’s gone forever. Our adventures are a thing of the past now. Sure, I’ll get another Cessna in time, but I’ll never have another sister.

All of this hits me at once; Razor’s injury, Ace’s absence, my loss, it all feels so awful. I choke back my tears, but I can’t hold them back. I cry bitterly, turning my head so the rest of the people in here can’t see me. I’m not looking for pity or even comfort. I just want everything to be okay.

Part of the reason the drive to Fairbanks is so long is because of the ridiculous twists and turns you have to take out on the roads. In the helicopter, we’re able to fly as straight as an arrow. It doesn’t take long before I can spot the city in the distance. The wilderness fades as the boxy buildings and concrete come into sight. Soon, we’re landing down on the roof of the hospital and being brought into the building.

We’re led through a maze of hallways and brought down in an elevator to another floor. It’s been a long time since I’ve stepped foot in this hospital. The last time I think I came here is when I had to get my tonsils removed. And that was when I was nine. Who knew that nineteen years later I’d be back, airlifted in with one of my two boyfriends.

No one could have predicted that. I smile despite myself and shrug off the thought. Who cares what anyone thinks? We’re happy. That’s all that matters.

“This is the end of the line for you,” the man barks at me like a human walrus from under his moustache. I stop and see the lines of seats in the waiting room. In one of them is Ace, slumped over, with his head in his hands, he hasn’t spotted me yet.

“We’ll see you soon.” I reach over and squeeze Razor’s hand and he gives me another forced smile. I lean over him and give him a quick kiss and, when I stand, I see a nurse with a silver pixie cut watch us with a dreamy smile from behind the glass. The men usher him off down the hall and I join Ace.

“Hey.” I softly grasp his hand.

He startles and his eyes blink open. I didn’t realize he was sleeping so I nearly jump out of my seat.

“You’re here!” He sits up tall. “What time is it?”

“I’m not sure, how long have you been here?”

“Not long. But I’ve gotta go out to the truck. Gunnar needs to stretch his legs, and so do I. Is Razor good?” He stands and stretches out and his coat lifts up at the hem, exposing a glimpse of his flat, tight abs.

“He will be.” I feel confident that he’ll be as good as new when they’re done with him. “I’ll stay here and wait for the doctor, you go tend to Gunnar.” I still look at his abs. It’s a real effort to stop staring.

“Sounds good. I’ll be back soon.” Ace leans over and kisses me softly. I watch him walk away as a hunger that can only be satisfied one way gnaws at me. My eyes land on the nurse with the pixie cut. She raises an eyebrow at me and twists her lips to the side. Her judgment is written all over her face. I can’t help but flush, realizing what she must think of me.

Why do you care?

I mull it over and sit up straighter. Throwing back my shoulders, I jut out my chin. Now, this is the time to be that tough girl. Who gives a shit if people don’t approve of what the three of us have. They’re not the ones living it, so it’s none of their business. My shame fizzles out and I sit tall, refusing to let other people’s opinions define me.

“Are you the fiancée?” A doctor walks up next to me, holding a paper in his hand.

“Umm,” I bite my lip, “yep. That’s me,” I lie.

“Good, good. I’m Dr. Noseworthy. I’m happy to say that Derek will be fine.”

I almost ask him who he’s talking about. I’m so used to calling the guys by their nicknames that I forgot that those aren’t the names they were born with.

“That’s wonderful,” I gush.

Ace comes back into the room and joins us.

“This is his brother.” I’m not sure why I say it. I just feel the need to explain Ace’s presence for some reason. I can feel the incredulous stare of the nurse behind the glass burning into me. I throw my head back and stand taller.

“Well, I’m happy to report that your brother is going to be fine. He tells me you set the bone last night.” He nods at Ace. “You did a fine job of it, I must say. He’s all casted up now and we’ve got him on some morphine, but his prescription will only be for Tylenol 3.”

The doctor goes on to explain the aftercare and it all sounds like a bunch of rambling noise to me.

“Can we go see him?” I interrupt.

“Yes,” Dr. Noseworthy blinks at me, “sure. He’s in Four-oh-five.”

“Thanks so much.” Ace shakes his hand, but I’m already heading down the hall. Away from the noise of the overly talkative doctor. Away from the judgy eyes of the nurse. I scan the door numbers and stop short at Razor’s room. Seconds later, Ace stands next to me.

“Let’s go in.” He wraps his hand around mine and leads the way.

Razor is sleeping in the dimmed room. His leg is covered in a white, plaster cast. He looks so peaceful, especially after being in so much pain. It does my heart good to see him rest. I reach out and grab his hand, so I’m holding onto both of them, and the balance is finally restored. I can take a real breath now. The anxiety floats away and once again, I know that this is right. The three of us are meant to be.

“They’re going to be discharging him after lunch,” Ace whispers.

“Well, we can’t make him do that drive back today. You guys can come to my apartment until he’s not in so much pain.

Ace nods. It’s settled. The three of us will figure this thing out.

Together.