Bethany left the estate agent’s office blowing out a sigh of relief.

She bagged the two bedroom apartment just minutes before it was advertised. The steady flow of money coming to her form the club and later the flower shop and the sale of her house, would tide her entire family over for the next six months. She’d have to get a job in the city, maybe tweak her CV a little bit. Then she had to look for a school for Amara…

Her to-do list crowded her mind instead of staying put in her phone calendar. Giving up, she surveyed her surroundings along Grey Street.

Greek style architectural buildings of Doric columns hugged both sides of the street and beyond was the Grey Monument. Returning to the hotel where they were currently staying wasn’t that appealing. There were so many decisions to make that Bethany couldn’t hear herself think. Glad she had worn flat boots and a coat that kept her warm in the early Spring day, she walked away from Grey Street and found herself along the quay. She looked around, dying for an espresso and sighing in relief when she found Starbucks tucked inside the Malmaison hotel.

Escape from Manchester. She let out half a snort and a laugh. They’d all been so intent on leaving, Bethany hadn’t even called Cinzia. Except for Amara, who was still bewildered. The moment she came home from the movie, she had been told to pack up a few belongings and dress up warmly because they had a train to catch. The whole time in the train she kept asking her mother what had happened. But Bethany was too intent on widening the distance between her family and the person who destroyed her life. Even if it meant that she also widened the gap between herself and the man she had long ago given her heart to.

She looked at her phone. There were more than a dozen missed calls from Drake as well as text messages. She didn’t answer at first believing it was better that way. But when the dull pain inside her intensified, she finally gave in to say they were okay.

The messages stopped and now she wished she hadn’t answered the texts. If she called him, what would she say? That she had seen Andrew and was fearing for her life? That she still had nightmares of the afternoon Andrew raped her? That she believed life would always favour the rich because her case had been swept under the rug by Andrew’s own father?

If Drake found out, he’d get into trouble for her. She didn’t want that to happen again. Besides if she saw the hurt and accusation that might leap into his eyes, she didn’t think she’d be able to hack it.

Cinzia was frantic with worry when Bethany finally rang her and her heart thudded one hard beat before slowly resuming its normal tempo when her friend told her about Drake.

“He was frantic, cara. I almost pitied him.”

Bethany released an exhausted breath. “You should. He has nothing to do with my leaving.”

“Oh Bettina,” Cinzia tutted after Bethany told her the whole story. “What are you going to do?”

“Lie low for a while.” Her voice lilted up. She looked out of the café’s window. “I’m sorry for leaving you like this, Cinzia. I just felt I didn’t have a choice.”

“After encountering the man who destroyed your life?” Cinzia made a sound. “If I had friends with the mafia, I’d ask a favour.”

“I’m glad you don’t.” Bethany said dryly. “You’d be indebted to them for life.”

“Whatever. I’m just glad you called and stopped me from having a heart attack.”

Bethany suppressed a chuckle. “Stop being so melodramatic.”

Cinzia huffed. “Comunque. Keep safe and keep me posted okay? The girls and the staff in the shop are worried about you.”

The sentiment warmed her heart. “Tell them I’m fine. You don’t mind watching over the businesses for me while I get my shit together?”

“What a question, Bettina! Besides, now that you’re no longer incommunicado we can discuss things over the phone.”

“Grazie, cara.”

“Kiss Amara for me and send my love to Papa and Mama Brooke.”

“I will.”

Bethany lifted the demitasse to her lips, inhaling its aroma and savouring the caffeine buzz.

Amara still wasn’t as talkative and it wrenched Bethany’s heart to see her that way. It was a far cry from her daughter always talking, and her parents being tight-lipped about the situation wasn’t endearing Amara to her either.

And Drake?

Bethany’s lips trembled at the tidal wave of pain tearing into her. Despite all that had happened, she was thankful for those moments she had with him. She’d never love another man the way she loved Drake Rosen nor would she ever give her body and soul the way she had offered them to him. She raised a silent prayer hoping that in time, Drake could forgive her.

“Bethany.”

Her cup cluttered on the plate as her fingers lost all feeling at the voice just a few feet away from her. Hot and cold waves washed over her. Her heart thudded like the loud bass line of one of her dance numbers. She stared straight at a pair of muscular thighs.

And a pair of bandaged hands.

Bethany’s eyes flew to Drake’s face.

“Oh my God, what the hell happened to you?” Her hand rushed to cover her mouth at the sight of his battered face. “Did you get into the ring?”

A few patrons gave Drake cursory glances.

“It was more like a fight inside a hangar,” Drake said. He lifted his bandaged hand to caress her face.

She swallowed and blinked away the emotion that threatened to spill down her face. She reached for his hand and pulled him to the chair opposite her. Drake moved his chair closer to hers.

His face was haggard, drawn, and his eyes were bloodshot as though he hadn’t slept. He hadn’t shaved either but his unique scent mixed with a fresh shower scent made her want to sit on his lap and cuddle with him. His hair was tousled as though he’d only had time to get out of the shower, drying quickly and didn’t bother to comb his hair before he left. He wore a band named t-shirt that stretched across his muscled torso under a distressed leather jacket.

“How are you holding up?”

“Okay, I’m confused.” She tittered nervously. “I thought you’d be angry with me for leaving without telling you. This kind of understanding isn’t what I expected.”

“I was just asking how you were.” Drake’s forehead puckered. “What’s so confusing about that?”

“I’m fine,” she said through her lips.

Drake grinned when she tucked her hair behind her ear. “You changed your hair. Since when?”

“Since I decided to surprise you yesterday.”

Pleasure lit Drake’s face before it dimmed.

“I love whatever colour your hair is.”

Bethany licked her bottom lip. “Drake.  What did you do?” She searched his face for answers but her breath hitched when all she could see was the adoration and love in his eyes.

He cradled her head before covering her lips with his mouth. She opened up to him, missing him so much it hurt. Bethany gripped his jacket to pull him closer, kiss him deeper, and pour all of the love she had for him in one kiss as the tears she fought so hard to stop fell down the sides of her face.

“Shhh….don’t cry, baby.” Drake swiped her tears from her cheeks and kissing the ones he missed on her jaw. “Please don’t cry, Bee.”

But that only led to the dam bursting its banks. She hid her face inside his jacket. Drake enveloped her in his arms and allowed her to let it all out.

Oh God, why does he have to be so gentle? Why does he have to love me?

The drone of people arriving and leaving the coffee shop, the scraping of chairs against the floor, the chatter of diners and the cashier at the till couldn’t buffer Bethany’s grief. All of them were dull sounds that sharpened when it filtered through her hearing aid. In all that time, Drake just held her without speaking as though he was absorbing her pain as his own.

“I can’t help it.” She hiccupped, her breath entering and leaving her mouth. She burrowed against his neck inhaling the smell of soap, leather, and man. It was the best smell in the world.

He kissed her forehead.

“I love you, Drake. I really do but I’m so scared to keep loving you.”

Bethany felt Drake’s smile.

“Why are you smiling?” she looked up at him, sniffing.

“I never thought I’d see the day I’d hear you say that.”

“Jesus, Drake, stop looking at me that way.” She straightened but allowed Drake to keep her by his side.

His mouth lifted in a rueful but sexy grin.

“Why not, Bee? Why can’t I show you how much I love you? Why are you afraid to keep loving me?” He sighed. “Shit, Bethany, please don’t leave without telling me where you are. Please do that again. If you leave me, I might just go into cardiac arrest.”

She gave a watery snort after blowing her nose using the paper napkin. “You? A cardiac arrest? I doubt that. You’d be the one stopping your opponent’s heart. Wait,” she leaned away. “How did you find me? And why did you fight in a hangar? Is that where fights are being held now?”

“First answer, Oliver helped me look for you.” Drake faced her, inching his seat closer to hers they were practically side by side. “Second and third, no I don’t fight in hangars. I fought someone who had been brought there by Oliver.”

Her forehead pulled down. “I don’t understand. Why would Oliver bring you someone to fight? How did he know how to find me?”

“Suffice to say that Oliver used to be with covert operations, so he has resources to look for people.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh. Lissie didn’t say.”

“Does it matter?”

She shook her head, looking down at the wrung tissue in her hands. “No it doesn’t. And the person you fought?”

His eyes lost its teasing light replaced by deep sadness that darkened his dark amber eyes even more. It was the last thing Bethany expected to see when she’d prepare herself for Drake’s anger and look of betrayal.

“Andrew.”

Her hand flew over her mouth as she felt blood leave her face.

“Andrew?”

Drake pursed his lips as he nodded.

Suddenly, she scrambled for her things. Just the name was jacking up her anxiety. She might be overreacting but she didn’t give a shit. That name scared her. It was enough to make her break in hives and storm down Grey Street and scream. What did Hermione say about fearing a name? That may be true but right now Bethany didn’t have an iota of rationality when fear was a tsunami intent on drowning her.

“Bethany, it’s okay.” Drake didn’t touch her, letting her secure her bag over her shoulder. “I know what he did.”

“Oh my God…” She was going to die of shame.

 “Please let me leave, Drake.” She couldn’t look at him. Anywhere but him. Tears ran down her cheeks and her coat.

“I won’t allow you to disappear again, Bethany… Bee, please look at me.” Drake grasped her upper arms firmly but still gave her enough room to shake his hands off. “Please.”

She kept her eyes averted.

“Bee…” he begged.

Steeling herself she took a deep breath and looked up.

Drake’s eyes were clear, his face a mask of grief. But there was no judgment, no accusation. No blame.

He rubbed her shoulders and her upper arms.

“I gave him a piece of my mind. Fuck that. I gave him all of what I thought of him.” Drake’s eyes caressed her face before they misted. “He did that because of me. He knew you were vulnerable without me. God, Bethany. If I could turn back the time, I wouldn’t have fought with him. I could have stayed longer. I would have finished ahead of you but at least I’d still be there. I can never forgive myself for what happened to you.”

“Drake.” She cupped his face. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“But neither was it yours.”

Bethany turned to the window. “All my life I thought it was mine. That I should have been careful going home alone. That I should have taken a different route. I didn’t know any better.” She looked at him again. “That was why we left. Why I didn’t finish in that school. It was my way of moving on, you know?”

He nodded.

“He can no longer hurt us, Bee,” Drake said linking his fingers with hers. “He’s going to jail for a very long time. He might even be extradited to the US.”

“What?”

Drake proceeded to tell her about Andrew’s involvement in money laundering, terrorism, and the gym. Bethany’s mind whirled with information overload.

“So you’re telling me you knew Andrew was here the whole time we were together?” She couldn’t help the accusation running through her voice.

Drake rubbed his face with both his hands and winced. “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you were going to freak out. Just like you’re doing now.”

Bethany huffed, anger growing like one of those bulbs gradually lighting a room. “You should have told me.”

“And what, so you could run away again?” Drake snapped. His face hardened before he exhaled. “You can’t keep running away, Bethany.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and mutinously faced forward. Right she was acting like a two-year old. She didn’t fucking care.

“The point is that he’s gone. The gym is going to be investigated because of Andrew’s involvement but they will see I had nothing to do with it. You didn’t need to know because it was about my business and had nothing to do with what was happening between us.”

She had to agree. Her blessed ignorance of Andrew’s presence in the same place had given her blissful moments with Drake. That Andrew Tabler was just a horrible and ugly shadow feeding her fear all her life. In that moment Bethany realised she had to jump out of the vicious cycle where fear fed the decisions she made. It became the fuel for her insecurity. It made her believe she would be forever tainted by one incident that wasn’t her fault. Andrew Tabler had ruined her life and now he had been close to destroying Drake.

The problem was that she was the one who’d end up destroying Drake.

She let out a long drawn out breath. “Drake, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“You can tell me anything, Bee.” His eyes crinkled when he grinned. He brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “I can’t wait to get you back home. You can stay with me.”

“Drake—”

His mouth came down on hers for a kiss that made her melt and lose all coherent thought. She trembled when his lips latched at her throat kissing and tonguing her skin. Holy hell, they were making out in broad daylight! She pushed him away and reddened at the mischief and sensuality that made darkened his eyes.

“Amara can stay with us too or she can stay with Joe and Cora. I can get them a house. No Tabler, not even Andrew’s father is going to touch you, Amara, or your family from now on. They will have to go through me first.”

“They still have their house’s rent paid until the end of the month. Drake—”

“Good. I’ll make arrangements for us to return—”

“Drake, stop!”

His forehead rose then puckered.

Bethany sighed. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I’ve never been more sure in my life than I am right now. Of course I know what I’m offering you.” He stared at her in bemusement.

“Would you feel the same after you hear what I’m about to tell you?”

He stilled.

Bethany exhaled. She committed Drake’s face to memory because it might just be the last time she’d see him. She’d remember the way, his eyes lit and smouldered whenever he saw her. Her hands would miss touching the planes of his muscled body, his face that was harsher than before but made him hotter than hell. Her gaze skimmed down the column of his throat to the vein pulsing at the side. It was the spot she loved to kiss, lick, and suck when they came together. Her fingers brushed over his firm mouth that had given her so many hours of pleasure, spoken so many words of encouragement.

And the three words that meant so much to her in more ways than one.

“Bethany?”

She glanced furtively at the other diners. Everyone was busy eating but there were a few who looked at them surreptitiously, averting their eyes when they were caught.

“Let’s get out of here.” She stood, making her way out the door. She didn’t wait for Drake to follow.

She crossed the road to the edge of the River Tyne. The dark waters were just like her mind. Opaque. Where secrets were buried never to be unearthed until some intrepid archaeologist decided to disturb its resting place not knowing the havoc it could cause.

The breeze blew her hair into her face and she faced the wind as though acting in defiance against the warning.

Bethany refocused. She didn’t trust herself enough to speak with a lump clogging her throat. Drake stood beside her, watched her, looking at her with an intensity she could feel deep inside her soul.

“What did you want to talk about?”

Hysterical laughter bubbled up her throat.

“I wish you didn’t have to be so nice. I wish you could lash out at me for leaving.”

“Is that what you want?” He asked so quietly Bethany wasn’t sure whether he had spoken or not.

“I don’t know what I want, Drake.” She let out a long sigh. “I wish I could accept what you’re offering completely without any doubt in my mind that you will accept me for who I have become.”

“Didn’t the several weeks we were together not count?”

“It did.”

“So what’s the problem?” Two vertical lines ploughed the centre of his forehead. “What is it you think I can’t accept?”

Bethany worried her bottom lip then turned to Drake.

“I was an escort, Drake. I fucked men for a living.”

Shock rendered Drake immobile before his eyes narrowed to slits.

“Don’t bullshit with me Bethany.”

“I wish I were, but that’s the truth.” She looked at the waters imagining the lay beneath rising just like the ugly truths Drake had to hear. “The man you saw in the shop? The one with the family?”

“You fucked him?” Drake’s voice was cold. “Was that why he came on to you?”

She shook her head. “He wasn’t one of my clients. He saw me in one of the functions I was brought to.”

He moved away from her and paced part of the quay.

“Of all the jobs you had to get, why did you have to be a fucking escort?” he ground out.

From afar, Bethany felt the anger vibrating from Drake. It whipped at her, lashing her already fragile heart. She saw the disbelief clouding his face. She could sense the wheels inside his head working double time.

“I fought Tabler to keep you safe then and now!” He grabbed her upper arm squeezing it painfully. Bethany’s wince broke through Drake’s fury and he dropped her arm as though he had been singed.

“Sweet Jesus! Did what I do even account for anything?”

“I didn’t ask you to put me on a pedestal,” she retorted.

“On a—Goddammit, Bethany, I loved you! I was coming back for you!”

“Drake your voice!”

“I don’t fucking care!” he roared. His eyes misted. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Why, Bee? Why?”

“Because I believed it was the only choice open to me! How did I know you were coming back? I didn’t know where you were. We lost contact! You didn’t even call me!” She shot back. She strode forward to him and said in a low voice, “How do you think I’d be able to find a job, huh? A partially deaf girl who was raped to an inch of her life with no work or life skills because I was so fucking afraid it might happen to me again! I vowed I’d finish school but there were bills to pay. Dad had his first heart attack when we lost the case against Andrew —”

She stormed away from him and gripped the railing as though it was the only thing holding her up. She chuckled without mirth. Bethany knew that each word coming out of her mouth would only bring her and Drake heartache. No one would come out the victor in this battle.

“The money was good. I could choose the days, the hours. Eventually, I had enough money to leave. Strike that. Cinzia helped me leave.”

“And the burlesque club? Did you miss fucking men so much you decided to tease them to an inch of their cocks?”

Bethany spun around. The crack of her palm against his cheek stung but felt good.

“That’s the last time you are going to speak to me that way, Drake Rosen. How dare you judge me when you’ve been fucking your way through the entire female race of Manchester!” she shouted. “Dear God, I must have myself checked. I might already have STD.”

“I’m clean,” he growled. “I have always been clean!”

“And that gives you the right to judge me,” she stated softly. She hugged herself as she moved away. “You’re a bloody hypocrite, Drake. You’re no different from me.”

She looked at the street. A few people were staring at them.

“Shit.” She stormed away from Drake, walking as fast as she could. She was so furious, it was enough to put her heart on the back burner.

Let it rot there for all I care!

“Bethany.” Drake grabbed her hand.

“What?” She shook her hand away from his grip. “Are you going to insult me again? You’re no different from Andrew.”

“Be careful what you say next,” he snapped, his jaw clenched with anger.

“You are so quick to hurl my choices at me when you don’t even know the reason why I had to do it. You put me on a pedestal of virtue and so easily destroy its foundations when there is something you don’t like. I had no choice, Drake! I had to make do with what I had! Why do you think I opened the flower shop? I wanted to move away from the life forced on me because I had lost my self-worth!”

All fight left Drake, his face crestfallen. He walked around, doubling back in circles. He faced her, his arms outstretched before they fell. He planted his hands on his hips, his head lowered.

“Bethany, please. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it Drake.” She swiped away the tears that she hadn’t realized had fallen down her cheeks. “Of all the people whose opinion I valued, it was yours. Everything I did even when you were not with me, I did it and hoped you’d be proud of me. I cried myself to sleep thinking how disappointed you’d be when you found out I had taken the less honourable path. And when you say I’m a cock tease, you’re no different from other men who look at me as a slut. A whore. A woman of no value.”

Her heart inched its way back from the back burner and into that space inside her chest even though it knew the pain would be excruciating.

“I can never be with you, Drake. When we fight you will only throw those hurtful things my way again.”

“Don’t say that, Goddamit! I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. We can work this out. You, me, Amara. We can make a go of this.”

Tears were falling in torrents down her cheeks.

“No we can’t because staying with you will only break your heart even more.”

“Why?”

Her heart was now irreparable. A broken vessel of shattered dreams that could have been perfect moments.

“Why Bethany?” Drake asked in anguish. “Because you never really loved me, is that it?”

“I love you! I love you so much it hurts. Isn’t that what they say? Because it’s true. I’m fucking proof. But I’m not worthy of what you can give me.”

“Why? I don’t understand why you can’t stay with me?”

“Because there is one more truth you need to know. When you do, you won’t forgive me.”

“What is it? I can forgive you anything, Bee.” Tears welled in Drake’s eyes. “I can forgive you anything as long as you are with me and we work it out.”

“Even if I tell you something about Amara?”

“What about Amara? I like her. I won’t push her away. She will be a part of us. A part of the family I want for us.”

“I don’t think so.” She bowed her head, her shoulders shaking from her sobs.

“Why the hell not?” Drake shouted.

“Because Amara is Andrew’s daughter.” She looked at him, sobbing. “She was the product of that rape.”

Drake stared at her in confusion before the light in his eyes died. His hands fell from her arms the same time his tears fell.

“Goodbye, Drake.”

Bethany walked away from the man she loved. The man who would now despise her.