The Happily Ever After Series

A 2 Step Game

CHAPTER 1

I clicked on my email inbox and rolled my neck to ease the pain in my muscles as it came up. I’d been studying so much lately, and I just wanted a full night’s sleep, but no. There were still tests for me, and I was going to enjoy this personal break to check into life outside of college for a moment. I read through them, groaning at all of the spam about meeting Russian women (no thanks) as well as people that wanted to tell me my future. Ah, there was something a little more personal. I clicked on the email from my mom and assumed she wanted to talk about the upcoming Christmas holiday.

I read through the words and frowned as my eyes stayed glued to the first paragraph. She’d be here in Colorado for business next week and wanted

me to meet her fiancée. Fiancée? When was Mom even dating anyone seriously? I rolled my eyes and thought back to her last attempts at a boyfriend since she was a little bit of a gold digger and traveled a lot as a buyer for one of the best boutiques in San Diego. Mom didn’t even need the money of a man, but she liked living the glamorous life, which made the song pop into my head as I bobbed my head. I read through the rest of the email that talked about the month I’d be home with her and my new stepfather and how excited she was to become a little family. The idea made me puke in my mouth a little bit since I still missed my father a lot. He’d been killed in a robbery near the house that Mom still lived in when I was ten, eleven years ago. I was grown up now, but I still missed him and wondered what it would be like with the new man.

Mom didn’t always pick bad guys. A lot of them were decent people, but something was in the mix that caused it not to work out. When I was younger, I suspected that I was a problem for the kind of people that wanted to travel even though Mom had no issues leaving me behind in the car of a friend. Some of the time, it was her or may be her overbearing attitude. It was probably all kinds of things, but I wouldn’t let myself think too much into that. I was trying to release any guilt from my mother not being happy being left with me. My therapist from a few years ago worked hard on that with me, and I did it myself to this day.

Oh, well. At any rate, it was a nice dinner in Denver that I was not going to be paying for. It was a break from the day-to-day stuff. There was a good chance that I may never meet this guy and even if I did, it might not last, to begin with.

I jumped as someone stepped into my apartment as I was closing down the email. “Hey, Larisa. I brought coffee and those sandwiches that you like so much. Let’s get back to this.” I turned and smiled at my best friend Cole as he set a bag down on the coffee table and smiled. He was in a lot of my classes, sharing the same major of Literature. That’s where I met him, and we clicked immediately. Of course, everyone thought that we were dating because he was a male and I was a female.

Cole was a handsome guy with dirty blonde hair and gorgeous emerald eyes, tall and broad so I suppose I could see where our friends would think that. I was cute enough as well with my cinnamon colored eyes and bright caramel hair, and my affinity of doing yoga when I was stressed out. I learned that was a coping mechanism early on and I ran with it since it kept my curves in check. I was tall at five foot ten and carried myself well, but I loved to do yoga in the wee hours of the morning as well when I couldn’t sleep. I knew it wasn’t healthy, but it worked for me and allowed me to eat things such as this hot and cheesy pastrami sandwich that he was pulling out of the bag.

Cole didn’t have to worry about that either since he was part of the football team at the college. I didn’t even see him that much between classes, practice, and games. He just liked to study with me for tests because we seemed to help each other so much.

“Let’s do this,” I secured my thick hair into a messy bun and slid my reading glasses back up my nose as we settled on the couch to eat and read through our flashcards again. We worked well together, mixing the seriousness of the situation with humor and jokes over the next several hours.

Once the clock hit one in the morning, Cole looked at his phone and groaned. “Shit, Ris. I have practice at seven tomorrow, and Coach will kick my ass if it’s dragging at all. Are you good here?” He looked at me with concerned eyes and I smiled and took my glasses off. “You’ll go to sleep and not obsess all night?”

“Yes, of course,” I replied as I leaned back on the couch. He grabbed the bag and shoved his empty coffee cup into it since I’d refilled mine a few times throughout the night. “Get some rest, Cole.”

He smiled at me and looked at me for a few seconds before he headed to the front door. “Lock this,” Cole told me as I stood and walked over to the door. I closed it behind him and locked the deadbolt and the chain before turning around to look at the living room.

My apartment was lovely, with a spacious living room and kitchen in addition to a large bedroom off in the short hallway. Dad had set aside money for my college and Mom let it sit and gain interest so I could focus on my grades. I was lucky that I didn’t have to work and I turned off my kitchen light and walked over to the couch. I debated on going through my cards just one more time and decided to clean up for the following morning before class. I grabbed my kitten Mushy and carried her to my room to sleep with me for a few hours before I had to wake up.

I tossed and turned, thinking of Mom with a new guy and Dad. I was closer to him than Mom. It just worked out that way since Mom worked so much even when I was smaller, where Dad ran a tax business from home. Once he was gone, I was left with family and friends so she could keep working. Dad didn’t leave enough behind to let her stay at home, not that I think she wanted to. He just focused on my college.

I closed my eyes and curled up in the fetal position as Mushy purred and stretched her paws towards my head. Getting her at the shelter was one of the best things I’d ever done, and I finally felt myself relaxing into sleep.

CHAPTER 2

The test went smoothly for both Cole and me, who made it by the skin of his teeth to class. He ran a little late with Coach, and the teacher stared him down as he slipped into the seat beside me. We finished around the same time and grabbed some lunch before running to our other classes for the day. I knew that his days were full and was used to that, which meant that I spent a fair amount of time alone. I had other casual friends; acquaintances. We’d grab a bite to eat or hang out at the bar that served us, but most of the time, I was home. I liked it that way and valued the time to myself.

The week crept along, and I knew that dinner was in just a couple of days. I caught up on everything that I needed so I could relax for the night and dressed in some thick black tights with a plum colored sweater dress. I wore high boots and did my hair in wavy curls that dried as I added a little liner to my eyes with some mascara.

I got into the modest five-year-old Camry that Mom bought for me when I left for college and started the engine as I shivered in my thick coat. I was already feeling uncomfortable, and I scowled as I backed up and headed to the main street to go into the city. I’d talked to Mom and Brett would indeed be there. She gushed about him and how he was just a few years younger than her at thirty-seven but gorgeous. Mom was forty-two but pretty with blue eyes and my hair so I didn’t doubt she could land a younger man. He wasn’t even that much younger, and I wondered if he had any kids, which reminded me of some of the kids that I’d met in the last. That was so awkward. I was an only child, and I suspect that Mom wasn’t into a big family because Dad seemed to love having me around. I never wondered what it would be like to have siblings until it was just Mom and me, deciding that it became lonely fast.

I saw Rioja up ahead and looked for a parking spot in the small lot nearby that would not require me to valet park. I hated spending the extra money on something that I could do myself. Once I was settled, I looked in the mirror and forced a smile on my face before I slipped my keys into my purse and headed towards the front door. It was a cute place with a small intimate room and a clear need for reservations, based on the line that was out of the front door by a few feet. I hoped that Mom had done that since I was starving for anything other than the fast stuff that I ate on a daily basis. I excused myself into the door as I felt eyes on my back and shook my head to approach the hostess station. “I’m here to meet Rayna Jones for dinner,” I told her in a soft, slow voice as I heard the raised voices of the angry people behind me.

“Let me see,” the blonde smiled as she went down and list and nodded. “She’s here already, and I think…over there.” The hostess pointed to a corner of the room as I glanced at her name tag and nodded as I saw Mom reading a menu.

“Thank you, Nadine,” I told her as she looked at me with a grin. I made my way to the corner and smiled as Mom glanced up.

“Larisa, there you are.” She stood, and we hugged before she kissed my cheek. “You look lovely.”

“Thanks. So do you,” I told her as she smiled brilliantly. Mom was blessed with great genes that I hoped she was generous with and looked healthy. I knew that her schedule was crazy, and she traveled a lot, but somehow she looked rested now.

“Thank you,” Mom said as she watched a waiter hand me a menu and ask what I wanted to drink. I requested soda to keep myself awake and slipped my jacket off as I looked around. “Cute place.”

“Isn’t it? Brett loves it here,” she said as she ran her left hand through her sleek bob, revealing the sparkling diamond wedding set on her finger.

“Mom, are you-” I started to ask when her eyes settled on someone behind me and she smiled dreamily.

“Brett, I want you to meet my daughter. Larisa, this is Brett, my husband.” Mom stood, and my mouth dropped open as I took in her words.

“Husband?” I asked as she frowned at me. “When?”

“Last week, we eloped,” she snapped as she indicated for me to turn around.

“Jesus, Mom,” I said as I stood and clumsily made my way around to look at my new very official stepfather. I looked into his light green eyes, and there was instant recognition as heat singed my skin. I was taken back to a year ago when I was at a club with some friends, drunk and just feeling like I needed to do something crazy after a recent breakup.

“Larisa, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Brett smiled, and it was so familiar as he reached out his hand to shake mine. That hand had been inside of me, and I looked down as I pressed my lips together. “I wanted her to tell you the good news, but Rayna was excited about surprising you.”

“Brett. Hi,” I said as I shook his hand and remembered one of the best nights of my life. I saw in his eyes that he remembered me as well with a flash of heat before he replaced the look with a smile. I dropped his hand and turned as he moved to sit next to Mom, longing for some wine or anything that would lift the embarrassment that I was feeling right now. Brett kissed her hair and took his wine glass before he looked across the small table at me. He could hide his gaze from my mother now, and the heat returned as I took a deep breath.

We made small talk as we ordered some appetizers and I settled on the artichoke tortellini for dinner. It wasn’t from the main entree selections, but I’d have trouble eating anything right now.

Brett was gorgeous, and he’d caught my eye at the club right away. I was looking to forget the other relationship, and I could tell he was older than me by a few years at least. He was tall and muscular, and at this moment, he reminded me of Cole as I looked at him. A few drinks had led to dancing, which led to making out on the dance floor as he held my body close to his to show me just what I was in for. Brett was thick and hard, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me off of the dance floor and into a dark corner, where he kissed me senseless before he slid his hands underneath my short skirt.

He’d asked me if I’d go to his hotel with him and I agreed.

It was close, and we walked the block quickly as I worried about my first one-night stand. I’d been in casual relationships, but this had all the signs of just being the one night, and that was honestly all that I wanted then. I wanted him hard and buried inside of me to erase any memory of Derek, the cheating asshole. Once Brett unlocked the door to his suite at the Hilton, I led him inside and into the spacious living room that overlooked Denver. I turned to face him as I took a deep breath and reached out to pull his lips to mine. The kiss was hot and rough, and I slipped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

We removed our clothes in between deep kisses, and his mouth peppered my neck as he pushed me back onto the leather sofa. I closed my eyes and arched my back as his hand cupped my ass and squeezed hard while I moaned. “I can’t wait to be inside of this sweet young pussy,” Brett told me before he moved his mouth over my nipple and sucked it deep into his lips. His tongue flicked it, and teeth dragged against me as I felt my thighs dampen where they were pressed against him.

The feeling of his heat as he gave each small bud equal attention before he moved his mouth down over my flat belly. I stared down at him as he moved between my legs and breathed against my slick thighs. Oh God, he was so close to me, and I slipped my hand down into his hair as he pressed his tongue against me and slid between my folds. It was Heaven, and I spread my legs like a whore so that he could have all of me.

Brett licked me all over as I breathed hoarsely and rocked against him until he held my still with his strong arms. He slowly teased my sensitive clit, ready to burst from all of the pain and pleasure that he’d inflicted on my nipples just a few minutes before. I’d nearly come, and as he sucked me between his teeth, I let out a keening sound and felt myself go.

It was intense, a hot wash of heat all over my body and something that I’d never felt before. I cried out his name, something I hadn’t found out or at least remembered when we were dirty dancing for everyone in that club. Brett kept my orgasm going with long sucks of his mouth and thick fingers stroking me as he urged me to keep going. I was so full, and he traced my sensitive walls with his hand and made me shudder again. I was weak when I felt myself slow down as he pulled his hand away and traced my mouth with his finger.

“Taste yourself,” Brett told me as I sucked him into my mouth and tried to keep my eyes open.

CHAPTER 3

I blinked as I heard Mom say my name and stared at her. “What’s wrong with you, Larisa?” She snapped at me as I took a sip of my soda and eyed the appetizers spread out before me.

“Waiter!” I called as I saw him walk by, smiling when he stopped. “Can I have a glass of your house white wine, please?”

“I’ll bring that right over,” he promised me as he looked at me a beat longer with his dark brown eyes, making my thighs ache. The memory of Brett was too much for me to bear and I tried to push it out of my mind.

“Sorry, Mom. I’m foggy from studying and school stuff,” I apologized as I avoided looking at Brett. “This looks good. Tell me about the wedding.”

I learned that it was a whirlwind and something that Mom suggested. No surprise there. I knew from my night with him that Brett was CEO of one of the biggest mortgage companies in the United States. Anderson and Frank held the mortgages of some of the richest people in the world, including a few celebrities.

No, we didn’t talk that night. I’d kept it in mind and did some research after the fact. I knew that he was returning to Los Angeles soon and had no hopes of anything happening between us again, well, no expectations.

He was a stable future for Mom, and if and when she decided to slow down at Gail’s, she could settle down happily. Brett was also gorgeous and damn it if I didn’t know how good he was in bed. The idea of him with Mom made me look around to see where my wine was, smiling with relief when I saw the waiter approaching me with a smile on his face.

Thank fuck. I thanked him and took a long sip of it before I picked at the food. It was probably wonderful and something I’d tell my friends about if I were with anyone else. Tonight, though, I just wanted to drink myself away from the memory of Brett’s mouth and cock inside of me.

My food to wine ratio was getting pathetic as I tossed back another glass and nibbled on my dinner. I sensed my mom’s anger towards me but I just couldn’t bear with this.

When I left to go to the bathroom, I was buzzed, and I dropped onto the toilet and took a deep breath. God, I had to pee. I did and pulled my phone out of my clutch to text Cole that I needed to see him tonight. I needed my best friend to vent to and get this all off of my shoulders so I could move on.

Cole: Are you drunk, Ris?

Me: I’m drinking wine so probably so. Don’t worry, I am getting a cab home. Be there. I’ll text you when this hell is over with.

Cole: I’ll be waiting. Be safe, Ris.

I shoved the phone in my purse and stood to wash my hands and return to the table. Mom was kissing Brett, and I looked way as I walked to the table to join them. I slipped into my seat and glanced in their direction as they leaned against one another and took a breath. Their plates were empty, and mine was cold, so I didn’t want it anymore. “Are you feeling alright, Larisa?” Brett asked me as my mother looked at me with an irritated expression on her beautiful face.

“Just tired, as I said before. I think the wine is getting to me a little,” I stated with a small smile as I leaned back and took another sip.

“Maybe you should eat,” her voice was low and angry as I took a deep breath. “I’m done here, Brett. Can we leave? Hopefully, she’ll present herself a little better over Christmas.”

“How are you getting home?” Brett asked me as he leaned forward and looked into my face. Jesus, there was still an attraction there, and this was all kinds of fucked up.

“I have a friend coming to get me,” I lied as he nodded and looked at Mom.

“I look forward to seeing you at Christmas,” Brett told me as he paid the bill when she called the waiter over in a huff. He ushered her out, and I dropped back into the chair as I closed my eyes. I took out my phone and pulled up Uber to get a ride home, waiting the allotted time before I stepped out to the curb. It was cold, and I shivered as I looked for a car that didn’t seem to belong to anyone, finally noticing a blue SUV that was there for a few minutes. I walked over and the guy that was just a few years older than I was looked over and I recognized him from the picture.

I climbed into the back and closed my eyes as he pulled away and headed back to my apartment. My sanctuary. My peace. I texted Cole on the way, still needing company and he agreed to be there as soon as he could. Once I was home, I got out of the car and made my way to my door, closing it before I went to change into some more comfortable leggings and a flannel shirt. I heard the knock at the door and clumsily buttoned the shirt as I fell onto the floor. “Shit,” I mumbled as I heard Cole call out my name.

“Ris? Are you here?” His voice boomed through my small place, and he stepped into the room. “Are you okay?” He leaned down and lifted me up from the floor as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder.

“Mom…I can’t believe her,” I mumbled as he took me out to the living room and sat me on the couch. “She eloped with her new guy and sprung it on me tonight.” He looked at me as I shook my head and stared at him. “The worst part is that I slept with him a year ago. Remember when I broke up with Derek? I went out and got drunk that night.”

“You never told me that you slept with anyone, Ris. Did he hurt you?” Cole demanded as I smiled and shook my head.

“No, he was some of the best sex that I ever had.” I shivered and felt my nipples harden as I looked down to see that the shirt was barely covering my full breasts. “Look at me. I get turned on just thinking about it. Has anyone ever done that to you, Cole? What do I tell her?”

“Fuck, Larisa. You’re drunk,” he murmured as he moved a hand to cover me, brushing against my nipple instead as I moaned and arched my back., “You need to stop this.”

“Why? We’re best friends, and we can have sex, Cole. I know that you love me,” I told him as I moved into his lap and kissed his mouth eagerly. His lips were full, and they felt so good against mine as he moaned long and slow. I felt him tense up for a moment before he wrapped his arms around me and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. I felt his desire as his tongue brushed against mine and his hands slid up my bare back before he slid one into my hair. I whimpered as I pressed against him and wrapped my arms tighter around his neck and kissed him harder.

Cole’s lips on my neck made me cry out, and I dropped my head back to give him more room. He kissed my tender skin softly before he nipped at me and unbuttoned my shirt, sliding it down my back. “Are you sure about this?” Cole asked me as he raked his eyes over my half-naked body. “I’m not going to be able to stop soon. You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“I need you, Cole. I need you right now.” He kissed me again and one hand held me still by the hair while his other hand drifted down to grip my ass as I rocked against him. He kissed me senselessly before he moved down my neck again and then found my nipples with his mouth, lifting me up for better access as I dragged my hands through his hair. I heard my voice rise as he sucked harder and then drew the skin between his teeth as I felt my thighs aching. “Cole, Oh God. I can’t take it.” I felt his hand slide between my legs and slide over my heat as I felt myself swell against him.

“You’re so hot and wet,” Cole told me as he stroked me harder.

Somehow, I was naked and pressed onto my back in my next breath, and he was spreading me open as he took me in with hungry eyes. Cole murmured my name and things that he wanted to do to me as he fingered my clit and slid a finger inside of me, making me shiver as I bit down on my lip. He moved down against me with his mouth and his tongue found me swollen and ready as he teased me while he held my hips still with his strong arms. He sucked me between his lips and held tighter as I started to cry out his name as I felt my body edging closer to a release. “Cole, don’t stop.” He bit down, and I screamed as I came forcefully against his tongue, feeling him slide it inside of me as my heat washed over him.

I stared at him as he pulled away, glistening with my juices as he looked into my eyes. “Ris, I’m so hard. I need to be inside you.”

“Yes,” I whispered as he slipped off his shirt and threw it to the floor. Cole was muscular, and I ate away at his abs with my eyes as he stood up. Cole pulled out his wallet and slid something out before he dropped his jeans to the floor with his shirt and dropped the wallet on top of the pile. Cole held out his hand, and I took it, allowing him to lift me into his arms as our lips met in a long sensual kiss. I wrapped my legs around him, and he started to carry me down the hallway, and I assume, my bedroom. My sweet and salty release was all over his face, and I ate away at him, not at all turned off by the idea like I thought I would be in previous thoughts. I loved the taste and the way that he kissed me back, passionately and with the same need that I was feeling for him.

I felt my body dropped on my bed gently as I tried to pull him down with me. “Cole,” I murmured as I sought to kiss him again. “Please.”

CHAPTER 4

I stared at him as he sheathed himself with the condom that he tore open with shaking hands. I was tipsy from the wine, bordering on sloppy drunk. However, I was primed and ready for this as he stared at me and stalked towards the bed. I’d never seen Cole in this way before, animalistic in his need. He knelt down before me and kissed me hard before he pressed me down to the pillows and parted my thighs. “Ris…I need you,” Cole told me as he positioned himself against my entrance and looked down as he slipped inside. “Fuck, you’re so tight.”

It had been a while since I’d slept with anybody and I cried out as he filled me with his thick cock. I rocked against him to bring him deeper inside of me as Cole drove himself inside of me, thrust after hard thrust. He rested against my chest as he kissed me clumsily in between thrusts and I moaned and whimpered as my body came close to releasing. “Oh, Cole. Don’t stop,” I begged him before I let out a keening sound and exploded all around him. I closed my eyes tightly as I held on tightly to him and breathed out as he jerked against me and stilled as he groaned out my name.

Heat flushed through my body, and I felt like I was flying for a moment before I felt his lips against mine. Cole was breathing heavily and his damp body heavy over mine before he rolled onto his back.

I drunkenly tried to compare the men, but I was caught up in Cole right now. I’d only experienced casual sex as well as a few relationships, some of which were scorching at the moment. I can’t say that I ever felt like I did right now. I moved to stumble to the bathroom and clean up before I crawled back into bed to wrap my arm around Cole. He had nuzzled his face against mine before he told me that he was going to use the restroom and be right back.

I was half-asleep when he returned, and Cole kissed me. “Want me to stay?” His voice was a soft whisper and I nodded sleepily as I snuggled against him again.

I dreamed about Cole as I slept restlessly, always feeling arms around me when I’d come to. I thought I was dreaming that as well until I woke up and looked around the room to see the sunlight peeking through the blinds. I ran my hands through my hair and felt a headache that could only come from too much wine.

I rolled over to feel a warm body beside me and fully opened my eyes to see Cole sleeping naked beside me. I gasped softly and curled up into a ball as I mentally checked over my body, feeling the aches and sore muscles from good sex as I blushed. I remembered some of the night before in vivid detail and frowned as I pictured dinner in my mind. Mom had married a guy that I’d slept with, which was so awkward. I didn’t even know how to deal with that so I dealt with the next issue on hand.

Cole…and the fact I’d thrown myself at him and slept with him.

I looked him over, admiring his muscles and toned planes for a moment. There was no denying that Cole was a gorgeous man, but he wasn’t necessarily mine to have. We were best friends and had been since we met two years ago. I could think of times that we might have flirted a little here and there, but it was never serious, and we always ended up with other people. That’s how it was supposed to be.

It was different, though, and I felt anxiety wash over me as I closed my eyes. Now I had two nights to regret, and I stood and grabbed my robe from the bathroom. This called for coffee and sobriety.

I made a pot of coffee in my pot that Mom and I bought when I got this apartment and checked the fridge. If it was any other morning and Cole crashed here after drinking or something, I’d make breakfast. We’d laugh and pig out, and it would be light and casual. I decided to go with that now and pulled out bacon and eggs, Cole’s favorite. I had no idea if he had practice today though I wasn’t ready to wake him up. I looked into the living room and saw his clothes in a heap along with mine as I blushed.

I cooked quietly, sipping coffee to wake myself up and bring back the unfortunate reality. My phone rang, and I glanced at the screen to see that it was Mom, a call that I ignored.

I looked down to flip the bacon when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I glanced over and saw Cole with a towel around his waist as he went to grab his clothes. “Hi,” I said as he gave me a long look and nodded. “Hungry?”

“Always. How are you feeling?” Cole asked as I frowned and thought about my answer.

“I think I’m better than last night. I was upset…I’m sorry for calling you over like that,” I said as I started piling the meat on a plate lined with paper towels. I couldn’t look at him, fearing that I’d fucked things up.

“I’d come running for you anytime you needed me, Larisa,” Cole assured me as pulled on his pants behind the door the separated the kitchen from the living room. “You know that.”

“I didn’t necessarily have what happened in mind,” I admitted as I saw his feet move in front of me.

“Do you regret it?” Cole asked as I reached for the eggs and started cracking them into the oiled pan. Cole loved his eggs in bacon grease, and I’d learned to eat them like that over the years.

“I…I’m not sure. Do you?” I asked as I watched the eggs sizzle in the pan.

“Ris, it was a great night. I’ve never felt anything like that before. I understand that you were drinking and upset, though, and I’m not sure if that’s what you wanted. You’re so beautiful, and I should have stopped it. But I didn’t, and I need to know if you are you okay with that?” Cole asked as I focused on turning the food over with my spatula. “Larisa?”

I turned them and looked up at him with a forced smile. “I’m okay with it. It was great, you know?” I grabbed some plates and slid two eggs on each one along with some bacon before sliding some bread into the toaster. “Coffee?”

“I’ll get it,” Cole told me as he poured a cup and added some cream. “Things are going to be weird now, aren’t they?”

“They don’t have to be. I mean, we’ve both had sex before with other people and moved past it, right?” I looked at him for affirmation, realizing that my feelings for Cole had officially crossed the line that I’d drawn in the sand. I’d had a crush on him for some time but always hid behind the fact that we were such good friends.

“I guess, yeah. That’s what you want to do?” His face looked disappointed, and I turned as the toast popped up, buttering the slices and putting one on each plate.

“It’s best, Cole. We’re not like that towards each other.” I stared at him as he walked heavily to the couch and sat down with his plate. I grabbed my breakfast and coffee and followed him, choosing to sit in the chair across from him. I couldn’t stop the memories from replaying through my mind of last night, and I took a quick drink of the coffee as I looked away, towards the television that Cole was changing channels on as he scowled.

He ate quickly and made some excuse about meeting the team before he left. Cole was cold and didn’t even look at me as he walked out, and I sighed. It had gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours. I went back and tore the sheets off of my bed, washing the scent of Cole and of us off of them as I allowed self-hatred to fill me.

God, I was just messing things up left and right. I spent the rest of the day miserable and studying, pretending that Cole wasn’t ignoring me. It wasn’t that he was always in touch with me, being busy with football and school anyway, but I knew that things were different now. I didn’t know what I would do without him since I didn’t click with a lot of girls and was usually shy with guys. Cole had always been different for me.

Mom called that evening to talk about the upcoming Thanksgiving week, which I had off from school. I agreed to come home even though I dreaded spending any time with Brett. I hoped that I would get past this uncomfortable feeling at some point with him since he was my stepfather. Ugh, what an awful thought. My life should be a movie on the Lifetime channel.

I had two weeks until I went home and just decided to get through it the best that I could.

CHAPTER 5

Sadly, getting through that time meant a lot of drinking for me. Mom gave me a generous amount of money every month, and I bought a lot of wine and even a few bottles of sweet hard alcohol. I’d go to class and then home, where I’d drink, study and watch anything that I could on television.

Cole didn’t call me, and I saw him around school with a new blonde girl. He had his pick of ladies being athletic and handsome and it didn’t come as a shock to me at all. It just hurt a lot more than ever before. I’d see him look at me before turning his head away, punishing myself with the inner shame and hatred all over again. I used to be more important than his flings and even some of his football buddies, but now I was nothing.

I was just a fling to him. Ouch…that stung a lot.

I left my last class and drove back to my apartment to finish packing. My mom lived close by and it was an easy drive, but there were times that it felt like a separate country to me. I threw some clothes into my backpack and heard my phone chime from the kitchen counter. “Geez, Mom. I’m leaving soon.” I rolled my eyes as I grumbled out loud and walked across the room.

To my surprise, it was a text from Cole.

Cole: Are you headed home for the holiday?

Me: I am leaving now. How about you?

There was so much more that I wanted to ask him but I merely waited for his response.

Cole: I am going to see my dad over the weekend. He wants to fix things and have me meet his new wife.

I knew that Cole had been on the outs for years since his parents divorced when he was fifteen. I’d never met either parent and knew very little about them since he stayed quiet about the subject. Something big must’ve happened for him to go see him since Cole chose his mother’s side from the beginning. Maybe he was just tired of the distance.

Me: I hope it goes better than meeting my new stepdad.

Cole: I don’t think I’ve slept with any older woman lately, so I’m not worried. Have a good week, Larisa.

Was that a dig at me? Asshole! I took a deep breath and decided what to write back.

Me: You, too. I’m sorry, Cole.

I took the phone and shoved it into the pocket of my jeans as I took one last look around the house. I had everything I needed to make the one-hour trek, and I slung my backpack over my shoulder as I slipped my purse the other way. I made my way to the car, listening too closely for a text that didn’t arrive. I turned on some loud music to play over the speakers while I drove and sang along as I forced my mind to go numb. My mom could be tough to deal with on a normal basis much less with a new guy. I wanted to be happy for her, but it was just weird right now.

I pulled up to the big house with the tall turret and parked near the garage where I wouldn’t block anybody. I gathered my things and headed to the front door, opening it as I smelled something good inside. Mom didn’t cook so maybe she had a chef. I set my bags down on the couch and walked towards the kitchen to find Brett standing at the stove as he stirred something. My eyes roamed over his body, remembering how tight his ass was as I pulled him inside of me and begged for more. I knew what he felt like inside of me, but I had no idea that he was a cook. I found that sad. “Where’s Mom?” I asked as he turned around to look at me with a smile.

“She’s out of town for the night. Work stuff.” I frowned and pressed my lips together as I realized what an uncomfortable night this was going to be. “I hope that you like beef. I made a roast with some veggies for dinner.”

“It’s fine,” I answered dismissively as he looked me over for a moment, seeming to be unsure of something. “I’m going to put my stuff away.”

“Larisa? I think we need to break this iceberg between us,” Brett said as I paused in my spin and frowned. “I recognized you at the restaurant, but I didn’t know who you were before that. I hadn’t seen any photos yet since I was still living in an apartment.”

I knew that there wasn’t a lot of family photos here, to begin with. Mom preferred art to real life, it seemed. “If you had, would it change anything?” I asked as I slowly looked at him. I saw the way his eyes darkened and felt the heat in the room as I cursed myself.

“I…I wanted to contact you after that night, Larisa. I know we left it with no way to do so, but I enjoyed myself. A lot,” Brett told me as I frowned at him. “It was more than just a one-night thing to me, despite meeting in a bar. I think that if I knew that she was your mom, I might not have rushed into this. I don’t know.” He seemed confused and leaned against the counter.

“It doesn’t matter now, right? That was a long time ago, and you’re here now.” I waved my hand around and shrugged. “We just have to find a way to move past that.”

“Do you ever think about it?” Brett asked as I looked at him. “I could tell that night that you’re not the kind of girl to just sleep around, though I sensed that you were hurting inside.”

“God, it was a one-night stand. Aren’t those supposed to be epic?” I had asked before my face flushed pink. “Shit. I didn’t mean to say that.” I started to leave the room as I heard him chuckle.

“I got my answer. Dinner is at six, Larisa. I’ll see you then.” God, he had a sexy voice, and I snatched my bags from the living room and hurried upstairs to my room.

I was in hell, the worst kind of hell. I was still suffering from the loss of my best friend, and now I had to sleep here tonight with someone else that I slept with. “Drinking is bad. Drinking is atrocious,” I murmured to myself as I entered my room and put everything on my bed. It looked the same as when I left for college, with all of the same knick-knacks and pictures in the cork board near my door.

I looked at pictures of Brenna, my best friend from high school as I took a deep breath. If she were here, I’d discuss this with her, and we might laugh about it; but she’d been killed in an accident driving home from school in our senior year. That was a lot of why I shut down, and Cole was the only person that managed to break down my walls since then. I sighed and unpacked my stuff to put it in my closet and drawers, letting some music play from my phone. I rested against my many pillows and pulled out my Kindle to try and read a book, but the past kept flashing through my mind as I watched the screen blur through my tears.

I woke up when there was a tap at my door and blinked in the dim room. My room. “Yeah?” I croaked as I pushed my hair back and blinked a few times.

“Dinner’s ready,” Brett called through the door as I licked my lips. I was starving, and I decided that I needed to move past what happened with him as well as Cole.

“I’ll be right down,” I said as I stood and walked into the attached bathroom. I looked a mess, and I splashed some cold water on my face and shoved my hair into a messy bun. The fact was that Brett had seen me drunk and naked and nothing would probably surprise him at this point. I pulled on a flannel over my tank top and wandered down the stairs to the kitchen, where Brett had set up the small table by the window overlooking the lavish backyard.

“There you are. I didn’t know if you wanted a drink, given the last time that I saw you.” His face turned up in a smirk as I stared at him and felt my cheeks heat up.

“Do you mean the first time or dinner a few weeks back?” I asked in a sarcastic tone as I walked to the fridge and opened it.

“You were drinking both times, weren’t you?” He asked as I pulled out some wine and went to grab a big glass.

“You know I was,” I replied as I poured a generous amount and walked over to the table. He brought over something in a glass and joined me as I looked over the spread. “This looks good.”

“I hope so. It’s my mom’s recipe,” Brett told me as I looked at him in surprise. He didn’t seem like a mama’s boy to me. He sliced a few thin slices of the meat and loaded it onto my plate before I helped myself to the vegetables and picked up my fork. I tasted a potato and tried to determine what the spices were as I frowned. I took a bit of the meat and ate the same thing and chewed carefully as he looked at me in amusement. “Like it?”

“It’s unique. Delicious. What am I tasting?” I asked him as our eyes locked across the table for a long moment before he sipped his drink.

“It’s a family secret,” Brett teased me as I raised an eyebrow and picked up a carrot with my fork. I had a memory of his face between my legs, tasting me with his tongue deep inside of me as I gripped his hair and stammered his name, making me blink as the silverware clattered on the table. My hands were shaking, and I grabbed the wine and drank a large sip. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.” Brett observed as I pressed my lips together.

A tear slid down my cheek as I sniffled and he leaned forward. “I…seeing you brought back memories of that night, something that started as a way to forget about my asshole ex and turned into everything I didn’t think it would be. I’d let it go until dinner that night and the way that I dealt with it was sleeping with my best friend at my apartment that night.”

“You’re bi?” Brett asked with a dark look in his eyes as I laughed and shook my head.

“Guy best friend,” I corrected as he nodded. “It was pretty good, and I knew that I fucked up the following morning. I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have.”

“So why not see him as more than a friend?” Brett asked as I looked at him.

“I was just confused that night. I was a hot mess,” I confessed as I took another drink of wine and wiped at my tears. “I still am, I suppose.”

Brett stepped up and walked over as he offered me his hand. I stared at him as I took it and felt him pull me into his arms. I sensed a sweet concern in this gesture, but there was an underlying heat that was hard to deny for me as I let out my breath and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You’re not a mess, you’re beautiful.” His voice was low in my ear, and I shivered as his hand moved down my back. “This is so fucking wrong, Larisa but I can’t help but to want you.”

CHAPTER 6

I slid my hands into his hair and closed my eyes as I pulled. Brett groaned, and I moved away just enough to finish the wine before I looked at him. “I’m already in hell so why the fuck not?” I hated myself as I kissed Brett, my stepfather. I felt like the worst daughter but I was suffering inside, and I wanted it to stop. My need for Cole blended with the memories that I had of Brett as he pulled against him and returned the kiss. His tongue met mine as he lifted me onto the table and gripped my ass.

Everything about the night came back to mind as I wrapped my legs around him and tilted my head to deepen things. Brett pressed against the seam of my jeans, and I remembered how well he filled me as I rocked against him. “Oh, God. Why did you have to be hers?” Brett mumbled against my lips before he kissed me again and moved against me as I felt shame filling my body.

I pushed away thoughts of my mom and pulled myself up as Brett stumbled for a moment. He dropped me back on the table and pulled away as he took a ragged breath. “What the fuck? I didn’t plan this,” he stared at me with his intense eyes before he downed his drink in one gulp. “I knew there was a connection with you that night, but we left things in that hotel room. But you’re here again and I…” Brett walked into the kitchen and poured more whiskey as the phone on the counter rang. He walked over and stared at it. “It’s your mom.”

We both stood in silence as the phone continued to ring and then went silent. “I can’t right now with her. I just can’t.”

“She said that you’re not close. She stated that there was a rift after your dad died and she didn’t know how to reach you anymore,” Brett told me as he stared at me. “She didn’t tell me who you were.”

I knew that Cole was out of my life now and that I couldn’t go back. Somehow, the men reminded me of each other, and I blinked as he drank a large swallow of his drink. Could Brett fill the void, as sick as the idea was? “We’re not close, and we never were. I was always a daddy’s girl and when he was gone…I felt like I lost everything.” I looked at him as more tears shimmered in his eyes, caught somewhere between lust and pain. “I didn’t even have a sibling to talk to and the one that was closest to that left me years later.”

“Jesus, Larisa. I didn’t know,” Brett said as he stepped forward and cupped my face before he kissed me gently. I melted against him, drunk more on emotions than the wine as he pulled me against him. I knew that I wasn’t going to stop this from happening and we ended up in my room, tearing our clothes off as Brett worshiped my body all over again as I cried through it, hating myself but loving his hands and mouth as he brought me close to the edge over and over. I was begging him by the time he slipped a condom on and moved slowly inside of me.

This wasn’t the heated one-night stand that we shared before. This was Brett comforting me the way he knew I needed him to and I pulled him closer to me as he thrust harder inside of me and brought me to an explosive emotional release as I cried out his name. Brett moved slowly through the waves as he sucked on the skin of my neck and then jerked as he came at the very end of my orgasm. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as he rested against me and kissed my shoulder. “That’s twice now,” he said as I stared at the ceiling.

“Yeah,” I said as I stroked his hair. I wanted to feel terrible, but I felt amazing inside as we rested together. His skin was damp and warm as I felt his lips brush against mine.

We got up and went down to heat up the food, eating silently at the table with thick robes covering our skin. I felt like he knew me well now, having had me twice and I wondered where this was going to go now. I drank the wine in large gulps, and he had a few more drinks as I got to know him more.

I learned that Brett was a partner in a graphic design company here in New Mexico, one of the most successful in the country. He told me that the night that we met but I was drunk and couldn’t remember. Once we kissed, I only wanted one thing from Brett, and I listened closer tonight. I wanted to know him, for the time we had and the future, no matter what happened between us.

I talked to my mom, keeping it brief as she told me that she’d be back in two days. Two days alone with Brett here…I didn’t know how to feel about that. I finished my dinner and helped him wash dishes before we went out to the back patio and stripped our robes off to soak in the hot tub. It felt so good to let the hot water soothe my bare skin as I giggled from the effects of the wine and the way that he was making me laugh.

I thought of Cole later that night as I drifted off to sleep with Brett by my side, drunk on need and wine. I wasn’t ready to face what I’d done, not yet. I was just trying to feel good inside.

CHAPTER 7

The morning dawned bright and jolting as I looked beside me in the king sized bed and found Brett curled up beside me. I stared at him as I remembered the second time I’d been with him in this house, hot and rough compared to the first time. I got up and went into my bathroom as I stared in the mirror and caught the scattered markings on my neck.

“Oh my God,” I murmured as I took a deep breath. I pulled on the robe from the night before and went down to make coffee and think. I sat at the table from the night before, sipping my drink and breaking things down in my head. Brett was my mom’s husband, a vow that should be taken seriously. I just knew her and the way that she looked for men with money to take care of her. Marriage was a big step, but Brett was handsome, and I could see why she’d cling to him, but did he want that? They knew one another a few months at best when they married, and I was curious to know what came over him.

I jumped as I heard a cup hit the granite counter and looked over to see Brett. He was dressed in some sweats, and he poured coffee in before looking at me. “Morning.”

“Good morning,” I replied as I tapped the table nervously. I didn’t know what to say or do. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah,” he replied as he sipped the coffee.

“Why did you marry her?” Brett looked stricken as he stared out of the window and I just watched him.

“She made me laugh when I met her. Your mom is a beautiful woman and a catch for any man…but then I saw you at the restaurant. I had no idea,” Brett told me as he stared at me. “It took everything I had not to react to you. It took everything I had not to wrap you up in my arms.”

“That night was a mess.” I ran a hand through my messy hair and frowned. “She was so mad at me, and I couldn’t eat. All I could do was drink.” I stared at him. “Did she suspect anything?”

“Just that it was you being a daughter that didn’t like your surprise, I gather. She didn’t guess what was really going on,” Brett assured me as I looked into his face. “She’d never guess that, Larisa. It’s too crazy.”

“Yeah.” I nodded blankly. I had officially knowingly slept with my stepfather as well as my best friend and I pushed the reality away. “She’ll be home tomorrow. What do we do?”

“Do you feel like this more than just the sex?” Brett asked me as I looked down at the table. “If so, I’ll leave it alone and do my best with her.”

I was torn, but Cole was out of my life in that way as well as a possible friend. I enjoyed being with Brett, at least so far. He was older, but there was a spark between us. “Not entirely.”

“Okay. We see what happens,” Brett said as we sat stiffly in our chairs.

I napped that day while Brett went into the office for a while. He told me that he’d pick up some dinner on the way home before he kissed me softly. Brett was so tender with me, and I watched him leave as I licked my lips. I could still taste the coffee on his lips.

I drove around town for a while for some fresh air after I showered, running into a few shops to distract myself from what was happening. I loved my mom in the sense of obligation, and I knew that what I was doing was wrong. It just felt so good.

I left one of the stores with a bag full of new lingerie and shoved it into my passenger seat. Driving home, I pulled into the driveway and got out before I headed upstairs and dumped the bag on the bed.

Over dinner from a popular Thai place that night, Brett and I talked further. He told me that his son was coming in a few days after not having seen each other for a little while. He was off to college much like me and even in the same state, so he was close.

We got distracted by each other after the meal, and I made love to Brett on the couch with a blanket underneath us as I rode him hard and fast. He held me close, sucking my nipples into his mouth as we came together. I pressed against him as I let out a deep breath and reminded myself that we were sleeping in separate rooms tonight. Mom wasn’t due home until later, but we didn’t want to get caught, not like this.

I went up into my room and slipped under the covers as I took a slow breath. My body was still on fire, and I pressed my thighs together as I bit down on my bottom lip.

I slept fitfully and just kept going back to sleep until late into the morning, I knew that Brett had gone to work and I suspected that Mom would wake me up when she arrived home, which she did. There was a knock at my door, and I looked as it opened and she peered inside of my dim room, finding me buried under my covers. “Still sleeping?”

“Just lazy. It’s nice not to have something to study or a class to go to,” I responded as she stepped inside, looking flawless. “How was your trip?”

“Very productive,” Mom replied as she looked around my room thoughtfully. “I haven’t been in here for quite some time.”

“Yeah, it looks the same as it did back in school.” Mom nodded and ran a hand through her smooth hair pulled into a low bun. “I am going to take a shower. Do you want to go out to dinner tonight, just the three of us? You can get to know Brett better since last time was so terrible.”

I didn’t want her to know how well I knew him. “Sure, that will be fun.” No, it wouldn’t.

Mom left, and I turned back over in my bed, feeling sick to my stomach. God, I wanted to talk to Cole, but I’d heard nothing from him since that last text. I couldn’t tell him all of this, ever. He would hate me more than he already did, though I was doing well at that myself.

I dragged myself out of bed after a few hours of dozing and showered before I pulled on some tights and a plum dress before slipping my feet into boots. I knew that Brett was home since I could hear them talking, but I didn’t want to go downstairs until I had to. I questioned everything from my hair to my outfit until there was a knock at my door. “Larisa, are you ready?”

“Yes, Mom. I’m coming,” I told her as I walked over and opened the door. She looked stunning in a black dress with heels, and I wondered why Brett was with me. I wondered if he’d regret everything now that she was home.

We walked down the stairs together, and I saw Brett standing in the kitchen in black slacks and a white shirt with a blue tie hung around his neck. He looked so gorgeous, and I stopped and stared for a moment as Mom glanced down at her phone. Brett looked up, and our eyes met for a moment as I frowned gently. He was beautiful beyond words, and I thought back to that first moment when our eyes met in the bar, knowing that then it would be an incredible night.

It was, then and now.

I don’t know how I got through dinner, apart from wine and watching him. He spoke well, showed his intelligence and wit as he kept us both mesmerized. I saw the way that Mom looked at him, but it wasn’t with love. It was the same way I did and the idea of them together later turned my stomach as I set the glass down on the table. At least she was past having more kids, a thought that made me stare at Mom. Was she?

“Larisa, are you okay?” I blinked as she stared at me and nodded as I sipped the wine.

We finished the meal, and I watched as they walked ahead to the car. He was holding her hand loosely, and I took the sight in before he turned his head and met my eyes. There was a heat there that made me shiver as I followed them and I bumped into someone as I blinked. “I am so sorry,” I said as I turned to look at the guy that I bumped into.

“That’s okay. It was worth it,” he told me as I looked into dark eyes and the cheekbones of a model. “Have a great night.” I nodded and said something similar to him as I turned to follow Brett and Mom to the car as he stalked forward with his shoulders set.

“Are you okay?” Mom asked as he unlocked her door and opened it as I passed them to get to the back.

“Of course. I just remembered that I have some work to do in the office when we get home.” He replied as he stared forward and I dropped my gaze to the ground.

Later that night after Mom was asleep, Brett told me how jealous he was of that guy with his mouth between my legs.

CHAPTER 8

I helped Mom in the kitchen the night before Thanksgiving, trying not to chuckle at her attempt to prepare to giant turkey for the following day. I wasn’t a great cook, but I’d made enough simple meals living on my own to muddle my way through it. At some point, she started drinking and left to go watch a movie in bed while Brett took her place.

He stuffed the turkey with herbs and vegetables as I watched him, explaining that it flavored the juices that he used to make the gravy. It was something that his mom had always done, prompting me to ask him where she was. Brett looked sad and a little lost as he explained that she died of ovarian cancer when he was twenty-seven and that his dad wasn’t a big part of his life. I wanted to give him a hug, but I wasn’t sure if Mom was asleep and I just stared at him. We finished the preparation and stored everything in the fridge for the following day, and he glanced down the hallway to his bedroom before looking at me.

Before I knew it, I was upstairs and against my door as he kissed me hard. I held him tight and listened for any noises as we made out like teenagers in the dark for a long time before Brett dragged himself away, though not without giving me a hard orgasm with his fingers against my clit and I struggled not to cry out. He kissed me quiet as I breathed deeply and held me as my knees went weak. He helped me to bed, and I pulled down his pants and blew him on the floor of my room, on my knees as he held my hair and murmured dirty words to me.

He left after that to sleep a few hours before cooking, and I made myself come under the covers as I played back the night in my head. I couldn’t get enough, and I went for round two as I arched my back and bit my lip again.

I was addicted and in trouble as I finally slept a few hours before I had to pretend that everything was normal for the holiday.

I woke up later than I assumed anyone else would and pulled my hair into a messy bun and dressed to see if anyone needed help downstairs. As I walked down the steps, I could already detect the scent of cooking turkey and inhaled appreciatively as I looked into the kitchen. It was free of people, but there was a full pot of coffee that I helped myself to before stepping into the living room where Brett was watching the parade on the couch with his own cup, dressed in sweats and a fitted t-shirt that made me drag my eyes over his chest. My thighs clenched together, and he glanced at me as I sat in a chair a few feet away. “Morning. How did you sleep?” His voice was husky as he looked me over in my leggings and sweatshirt and I giggled.

“Pretty good. I was worn out,” I replied, winking at him as he laughed and stared at me.

“Yeah, me too.” I never asked if he was intimate with my mother, though I did wonder sometimes. They were married, and she’d expect it. “Dinner should be ready around three. We can just relax around the house.”

“Where’s Mom?” I asked as he frowned and looked down the hall.

“Sleeping. She’ll be up to eat; I expect, but it seems she drank quite a lot last night.” I sensed the displeasure in Brett’s voice and wondered where it came from. Did he miss her? Did he just not like her drinking? I kept my thoughts to myself and sipped my coffee as I stared at the SpongeBob float on the big screen television. I wondered what would happen when I went back to school next week. Would we just end and life go on for both of us? I couldn’t imagine that, but I wasn’t naive enough to think that we’d live happily ever after.

I was surprised when a couple of high school friends stopped by to say hello, as well as distracted by the way they looked at Brett as they giggled and tossed their hair. I smiled and laughed in all of the right places, but I felt my emotions rising as I sat on the couch and made small talk. There was plenty to say about school and campus life since we’d all gone to different colleges around the country.

Once they left, Brett closed the door and turned to stare at me before he glanced down the hall. “Larisa, you can’t wear your heart on your sleeve that way,” he kept his voice quiet, and I blinked at him.

“I was fine. We just chatted.” I knew that I’d been tense more than a few times and he shook his head and sat back down. “Did you see the way they were looking at you?”

“I don’t care. I don’t want them.” His voice was firm as he looked again to see if we were alone.

“You probably told Mom that and look at us now,” I whispered as I walked into the kitchen and placed my coffee cup in the sink after dumping it out.

“Larisa, I don’t cheat like this in general life. This…is bad timing. I’d happily have you if things were different and just you. We’re in a complicated place right now.” Brett talked slowly and softly as I nodded and felt the rush of anger ebbing. I just didn’t have the energy for it right now. I just nodded and held on.

We made our way back to the living room and found a traditional holiday movie on as we sat a few feet away from one another on the couch. It was close enough to know that were together here even if it was in the sense of tortured silence. Once it crept closer to dinner and we were still alone, Brett invited me into the kitchen where we finished up the last minute details. Everything smelled delicious, and I was developing an appetite as I prepared some yams in a baking pan.

“Look at you. This smells so good!” My mother’s cheerful voice filled the silence, and I jumped as I pressed my hand to my heart. Everything shifted in the room, and I took a breath as I felt eyes on me. “That into cooking, Larisa? You’re a different girl,” Mom teased me as she walked over and hugged Brett for a long moment. I looked for a fleeting second and glanced away as my skin burned. She moved to get coffee and looked around slowly with a smile. “Everything looks and smells so good. You guys are a good team.”

Brett thanked her as he and I shared a quick look and forced smiles. We finished plating everything, and the three of us carried things to the formal table as the doorbell rang. I knew that Brett had invited some single friends over and I assumed it was them, so I excused myself to answer the door. I’d changed into a pair of black slacks and a burnt orange sweater for the company after my shower earlier, and I smiled as I saw a few new faces. “Come on in.” The men moved past me as my face fell when I saw Cole behind the group. His face was as pale as mine as our eyes locked and I took a ragged breath. “What are you doing here?”

“Larisa? Is everything okay?” Brett asked as he walked over and glanced through the open door. “Cole. You’re here early! Come in.” I stepped aside as my former best friend walked by me and was introduced to everybody. “This is my stepdaughter, Larisa. This is my son, Cole.”

“We attend the same school, Dad,” Cole said dryly as he eyed the door like he wanted to leave.

“What a coincidence,” Mom said as she slipped an arm around Brett and looked Cole over. “Please sit. I can get another bottle of wine, and we can start eating, unless you’d like something else to drink, Cole?”

“If you have a beer, I’d like that,” Cole said as Brett clapped him on the back and took him upstairs with the duffel bag that he was carrying.

“I’ll be right back,” I told Mom as the room started spinning. I went into the bathroom in the first-floor hallway and turned the water on as I leaned over the toilet and threw up. In the few moments we’d had in the foyer, I thought that Cole must have connected the dots and was disgusted by me. I knew that I was. I felt sick, and my stomach was in knots as I threw up the little food that I had in my stomach and leaned my head over my arms. I couldn’t do this. I needed to get my stuff and get the fuck out of here.

I didn’t know how long I was in there before there was a tap at the door. “Larisa? Are you coming to the table?” Brett asked through the door in a concerned voice as I closed my eyes.

“I…I suddenly don’t feel so well. Go ahead without me, okay? I’m going to lie down in my room.” I sighed as I tried to find a reasonable excuse to go right back to school.

“What happened? You were fine all day,” Brett told me as I rolled my eyes.

“I had a bit of a fever earlier, but I really didn’t think much of it. I just need to rest. Go eat, Brett. Everyone is here.” I insisted as I remained on the floor, straddling the toilet. It went quiet, and I assumed that he was gone, which was when I stood and splashed cold water on my face. I left the room quietly and made my way upstairs, wondering which room Cole was sleeping in tonight. There were only two other huge rooms on this floor, and I sighed as I opened my door and closed it. I pulled on leggings and a thermal before I crawled under the covers and switched the television on to cover the sounds of my soft sobs. I was alone for about an hour when there was a knock at the door, and I looked up with huge eyes. I’d been crying hard, and I looked at the screen to see The Notebook playing. Thank fuck…but who was it knocking? “Larisa?” It was Mom. She opened the door and came inside, seeing me shriveled under the comforter. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I felt a little off earlier, but it came on so suddenly,” I lied as she sat down and looked into my face with shock. I pointed to the movie, and she looked at it and nodded. “I’m just going to chill out. I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll love your new stepbrother. He’s such a sweet kid,” Mom smiled as my stomach twisted violently. “He looks a lot like his father, doesn’t he?”

Too much. I’d realized it seeing them together and was ready to flee the scene. “Yeah, I think that he does,” my voice was weak as Mom hugged me.

“Get some rest, Larisa. Maybe you’ll feel better tomorrow,” she said as she looked me over. “We can all visit then.”

“Sounds good, Mom.” I sank back against my pillows as she left and smiled as she looked at me. I just wanted to get through the next few days and go back to school. I knew that Cole was there, but at least both of my sins wouldn’t be staring me in the face. I’d have time to isolate and recover from this.

I stared at the wall as another movie played before I cried myself to sleep. I woke up a few hours later, trembling from a dream as I sat straight up in bed and took deep breaths. I looked around my room and saw that a shadowed figure was in my chair as I started to scream. “Sshh, it’s me. What’s wrong with you?” Brett asked as I stared at him and shook my head.

“You can’t be in here,” I told him as he waved his hand.

“Everyone is asleep. It’s midnight, Larisa.” He moved closer to the bed and looked at me. “Are you feeling better?”

“A little? I don’t want you to get it, though. You should go.” I frowned as he dropped his broad shoulders and stared at me.

“I was worried about you, you know.” I nodded and hid under my blankets as he looked at my door. “I’ll see how you are tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded, and he left the room as I fell into a crumpled heap onto my knees. I stood and moved to lock the door before I came back to bed and dropped back onto my pillows with a long sigh. I did the math in my head and realized that I had three more nights here if I left when scheduled. I could lie and say that something came up and I had to go Sunday as well. I didn’t think Cole would mind, judging from the sickened look on his face when he saw me at the door. Hell, maybe I’d just stay sick and blame it on that.

I was awake a few more hours with something playing on television as I glanced at that and my phone. I vowed to make some friends at school and get a life, to avoid situations like this. I fell asleep as the sun was coming up and had no plans on leaving my room.

It was late morning when I heard a knock at the door while the knob turned. “Why is your door locked, Larisa?” Mom asked as I rolled my eyes.

I stood and unlocked it, feigning ignorance as she asked me the same question. I blamed the illness and said I must have locked it going back to bed from the bathroom one of the several times. I stumbled back to bed, falling down as she set a steaming cup on the nightstand as well as a plate with a sandwich on it. “How are you feeling?”

“Like crap,” I replied as she sighed and looked me over.

“Brett and I are having dinner with friends tonight. Will you be alright on your own? I know that you and Cole don’t know each other.” She frowned as I nodded quickly and dropped against the pillows. “I hate leaving you.”

“I’m a big girl, Mom. I’m sick at school by myself,” I assured her as she nodded and looked down at her left hand where the big diamond sparkled.

“Brett was worried about you last night. I think he likes being a stepfather and now that Cole’s back in his life…I believe that it will be sweet to see that side of him,” she said almost dreamily as I felt nausea rising in my stomach. “We’ll be a family.”

It took all of the strength that I had to remain calm until she left my room. At that point, I went into the bathroom and closed the door, clicking the lock as I started to run a hot bath. I was never going to have sex again. I’d really messed up the last several times that I did, and I didn’t want to feel this way anymore.

CHAPTER 9

Evening came, and my stomach started to growl. Since I was stressed and not sick as I’d told everyone, I was bound to get hungry sooner or later. I took a deep breath and looked at the clock, assuming they were at dinner now. What about Cole? I knew that I’d truly end up ill if I didn’t eat and I pulled my messy hair back and walked out of my room. I stopped and listened, knowing this house was huge. I walked down the stairs and made my way into the kitchen as I heard the television in the next room. Great.

I was as quiet as I could be as I threw together a sloppy sandwich and grabbed a cold Gatorade. I glanced at the open archway the living room as I worked quickly and my heart dropped when I saw Cole’s large frame fill it. “How are you even here? How did you not know?” I demanded as all of my pent up emotions rose.

“I didn’t know, Ris. I was estranged from him, more or less and decided to give it a chance when I found out that he got married. I was as shocked as you fucking were at that door,” he shot back as he looked darkly at me. “Let’s talk about something else that struck me when I saw you. You slept with my dad.”

I widened my eyes as I hit the counter and took a breath. I wanted to tell him that it was a long time ago and I couldn’t find the words. “Over a year ago. I barely remember,” I stammered as he stepped closer to me.

“Because you were drunk like you were with me? Is that why you let him fuck you?” He asked as I wiped a tear from my cheek. “That’s why you let me fuck you, isn’t it?”

“Stop it,” I demanded as I stared at the floor. “You’re my best friend, or at least you were. I wanted you that night.”

“How did Dad react when you came here, Larisa? Is he a happy newlywed or is he reminiscing about you two?” Cole demanded as I closed my eyes and started crying.

“I don’t know. We’re ignoring all of that. It’s in the past,” I knew that I had to lie. I knew that I couldn’t tell him the truth. “I’m getting used to this, too.” I grabbed the plate and drink and turned to leave.

“Ris?” I looked at him as he approached me. “Were you just fucking me that night? Did you mean what you said about there being no us?” His eyes begged me for an answer as I licked my dry lips. “Is that why you’re hiding?”

“I’ve seen you with the blonde, Cole. You’ve moved on.” I looked at him as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I tried. The night with you was the best night I’ve had in a long time. It’s something that I wanted for a while, and I hate that it happened when you were drunk. I hate that I took advantage of you that way.” Cole shook his head and stared at me. “Now you’re my stepsister.”

“Barely. We’re not kids, and we won’t see each other that often. You’ll still be with your mom,” I mumbled as he reached out and wiped my cheek.

“Dad wants to try, and I’m going to, Larisa. I think we might have to try to make this work between us as well,” Cole suggested as I looked up at him.

“Fine. We won’t be here that much together, so it’s fine.” I turned and walked back to my room, leaving him behind as I closed and locked my door. I sat on the bed and cried as I forced myself to eat, willing myself to not throw it all up afterward.

I thought about the story that I was going to make up. I could tell them that a friend had a terrible break up with a boyfriend and needed me to help her through it. Since I wasn’t feeling great anyway, the two of us were just going to sit around and veg out in her apartment. That’s what normal girls did, right? Healthy girls didn’t sleep with their new stepfather and stepbrother in a month’s time.

I decided that I would tell them tonight. It was a tragic ordeal for Jane, and I wanted to help her. I could do this.

I fell asleep instead and woke up the following morning with a jolt as someone knocked on my door. “Larisa?” Brett called out as I blinked and sat up. I stood on shaking legs and unlocked my door as he stared at me. “Why is that locked?”

“I want to be alone. What’s wrong?” I snapped as he walked into the room and turned to face me.

“Did something happen last night? Cole told me that he had to leave today when he was going to stay through Sunday. Did you guys argue?” I fell onto the bed and brushed my hair back.

“No, I barely talked to him at all,” I lied as he stared at me.

“You know him from school?” Brett demanded as I shrugged.

“Not well, no. What did he say?” I asked as I dropped onto my pillows and closed my eyes.

“He said that something came up with football. I just wonder if he changed his mind about working things out. He was upset,” Brett told me as he sat on the bed and stared at me. “I just want my son back.” His eyes softened, and he tilted his head. “Are you feeling better?”

“Sort of. I got a call from my friend, Jane. She broke up with her boyfriend of six years last night and a hot mess. She asked if I’d come back and hang out with her, do the ice cream and chick flick thing. She even mentioned a fire,” I added details to make it more real as he glared at me.

“What the fuck? Both of you are just running off? What’s going on, Larisa? I wanted to spend some more time with you,” he looked at the open door and swallowed thickly. “She’s at work.”

“Are you saying that you want me to spread my legs right here and now feeling this way?” I asked him coldly as he shook his head.

“No, Larisa. It’s not like that at all.” Brett looked shell-shocked as he blinked at me and shook his head.

“It might be good for us to have some space. There’s some time before Christmas to let this all go and just move on,” I told him weakly as Brett sighed. “This is too heavy. She’s my mother.”

“I don’t love her. I never did, but I let her talk me into it, thinking that maybe it would work out. The second that I saw you, I knew that it wouldn’t.” He stared at me as I shook my head.

“You’re insane,” I murmured as he approached me and took my hands. “Stop this, Brett.”

“You didn’t like me touching you before? You didn’t like me making you come?” Brett asked as he moved over me and slipped his arms beside me. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, sick or not.”

“This is done, Brett,” I said painfully as tears filled my eyes. “This can’t go on. I’m going home tonight and telling Mom about Jane. Don’t say anything, just decide what you want with her. Don’t stay if you don’t want her,” I advised him as he dropped down to kiss my neck. “Stop, Brett.”

“Fuck this. I don’t want you to leave. She’s out of town for a couple of days, and we can work this out,” Brett suggested as I shook my head.

“No, I’m leaving as soon as I pack. I can’t be here,” I repeated as he pulled away and stood up slowly. It killed me to let him go, but I knew that it was best. He left the room, and I burst into tears as I thought back to the times we were together, finding myself getting turned on by the vivid memories. I thought about Cole at the same time and buried my body under my blanket as I bit my lip. Stress and desire combined inside of me and I slipped my hand down my shorts as I found my pussy slick and hot. I groaned as I stroked myself, fast and rough as I searched for the release that I needed at the moment.

My eyes were closed as I came and I moaned as I jerked against my hand. I felt the blankets slide down my body and gasped as hands slipped my clothes off. Brett locked his mouth over me as I cried out his name. My second orgasm was hard and fulfilling as he sucked me between his teeth and tore off his pants. “Brett, we shouldn’t.”

“I need you,” He told me as he ripped open a package and sheathed himself with shaking hands. Brett moved between my legs and took me with one thrust as I pulled him inside with my hands on his ass. “Fuck, Larisa. You feel so good.” He moved deep and hard as I cried out and rocked against him, tight around him as my body betrayed my heart and mind. “Baby, I’m going to come. I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Brett!” I yelled as I exploded around him and felt him thicken. “Oh, God. Oh, fuck.” He stilled before jerking against me a few more times and his hands slid under my t-shirt to cup my bare breasts. “What are we doing?”

“What we should be doing,” he told me as he found my neck with his mouth and tugged on my hardening nipples with his fingers.

I didn’t tell him to stop as his mouth moved down my body to take me into his mouth as his finger slid inside of me. I needed him, and I knew it wouldn’t stop until I was out of this house. I was too weak.

CHAPTER 10

I slept with him a few more times before I insisted on leaving Sunday. I was a hot mess as I drove away, weak with tears and want as I stared forward and thought about school. Mom seemed sad enough that I was leaving and I hugged her, so upset that we were doing this to her even as I wondered how she thought that she and Brett were okay.

I listened to Pandora as I drove home and cried. Every time with Brett felt better, but I also thought back to how good it felt to be in Cole’s arms. I never admitted that to him or Brett, but they both made me feel good. If I let myself think about it hard enough, I’d recognize that they fucked alike. That would make me a slut, though.

I pulled into my apartment complex a few hours later and turned off my car as I took a deep breath. I was home where things had a chance of being normal. I got my bag out and walked up to the door, unlocking it before I pushed it open.

It was so quiet here, and I carried my bag to my bedroom to set it down on the floor. This was a place where I hadn’t slept with Brett. This was a place that was only spoiled by the memory of Cole, making me shudder as I ran a hand through my hair.

I took a shower before anything else, needing to clean up and soothe my muscles before I worried about anything else. I longed to spray it inside of me and soothe myself there, but only time would dull those pains. I cleaned myself off and swore a new life before I dried off and brushed my hair.

I was making some toast and heard the knock at the door as I tightened my robe. I padded across the floor in my bare feet and peered through the door to see Cole standing there. I knew that he still had his key so he’d get in if he wanted to. I unlocked it and swung the door open, looking up into his face as he pushed his way inside and stomped into my living room. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re finally home,” Cole said as he looked at me and I frowned.

“Yeah, I stayed a few more days. Unlike you. What happened?” I asked him as he stepped forward and took hold of my arms while he stared at me.

“It all came back to me, what happened here. It was too much to deal with along with everything else going on, Ris. I was angry, jealous and all around hurt over everything.” Cole shook his head and raised his hands to my face. “Tell me that you feel something for me. Tell me that we were more than just drunk sex. Tell me that you don’t want to fuck my dad ever again.”

Cole pressed his forehead against mine as he stared into my eyes. Part of me wanted to tell him that wasn’t true, that it could happen again and I would wreck my mother’s life. But I didn’t and nodded instead as he lowered his lips to mine. I was practically fresh from being in bed with Brett, but I kissed him back as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

What was I doing? I felt his tongue tease my lips open as he kissed her harder and I moaned as he ripped open my robe. Fuck, his hands were on my hips as he pulled me closer and kissed down my neck. I remembered the mark from Brett’s teeth that he’d left the last time we were together and I hoped that I wouldn’t have to explain it.

Cole moved down to kiss my nipples before he sucked one into his mouth and pushed me down onto the couch. I felt his fingers sliding down to enter me, hitting me where I still hurt as I closed my eyes. I wouldn’t admit that as I bit my lip and arched my back to offer him more of everything.

We ended up in my room as he took me from behind, hard and deep as I asked him for more. Cole groaned my name as he filled the condom that covered him and made me release with him. I buried my face into my comforter as I felt shame wash over me. We rested together against the pillows as he pulled me close and kissed my hair. I had to admit that it felt good, safe and warm in his arms. In a perfect world, we could be a couple, and I closed my eyes and breathed our scent in. “What about our new situation?” I whispered as he kissed my neck.

“We’re adults who have parents that got married. We’re not blood-related and have little to do with them. I think our lives are relatively separate,” Cole replied as I frowned. I wish it were that simple.

I fell asleep with him. We woke up together and made breakfast with an ease that would be hard to find with anyone else. My feelings for Cole overruled anything else as we laughed together and sipped coffee. This would be a good thing for me, a comfortable situation.

Cole stayed the next night, and we both started back at school within a few days. I felt like I was miles away from Brett and Mom with each passing day as I got closer to Cole.

It all came crashing down around me when Brett sent me a text in class. He told me that he was in town at a nearby hotel and needed to see me. We needed to talk. I tried to ignore it, knowing that I was with Cole now, but Brett had a pull over me that I couldn’t control. I agreed to meet him at the Hilton and made my way to his room on the sixth floor slowly as I looked at my phone. Cole was at practice and had plans tonight, not that I planned on being here late. I was going to see what Brett needed and leave.

I tapped on the door, and he opened it with a towel around his waist as he dried his hair. “Really?” I asked as I have him a raised eyebrow.

“I just finished in a meeting. Come in,” Brett said as he moved for me to walk inside.

“What did you need to see me about?” I asked as I felt him behind me, my body tense as I felt his hands on my arms.

“I missed you, Larisa,” Brett told me as he kissed my neck gently. “Have you missed me?” His hand cupped my breast through the lace of my bra and squeezed as I let out a small moan. I was weak, and I reached behind me to tug the towel off of his body before I turned and moved to my knees on the carpet. Brett slipped his hands into my hair as I took him in my mouth and moaned helplessly. I cared for Cole so much, but Brett made me want to please him every time I was in a room with him.

He came inside of my throat as I swallowed and closed my eyes. I knew that I was past the point of no return as he lifted me and carried me to the bed, spreading my thighs open as he buried his face inside of me. I came for him, oh God how hard I came for him. I begged him to take me as he covered himself and pushed me onto my knees, reminding me of the day that I bonded again with Cole.

I stayed late, eating dinner in the room with Brett as we stared at each other over the table. “So is this one of those things where you pop into town, and we meet up?” I asked him as he let out a sigh.

“What do you want, Larisa? Do you expect me to beg you to quit school and run away with me?” Brett asked as I stared at him. “I’d love that, but you’re getting ready for your future.” I’d noticed the ring on his left hand when I got there and knew that he was still with Mom, probably fucking her every night. Jesus, what was I thinking? I was with Cole nearly every night. “Can’t we have this for a time?”

“I suppose it will have to do,” I replied as I sipped my water and picked at my fries.

“Have you seen Cole?” Brett asked as I lifted my eyes to his and nodded. “How is he?”

“Doing well, I think. We have a class together,” I replied vaguely as Brett nodded. I could see that he loved his son and I also knew that I did as well. Cole was good for me, right for me. Brett was with someone else and older, a fact that would make a life together difficult. At this point, I didn’t even know if he wanted that since we agreed to meet up when we could.

I left late that night and hoped that Cole was at home. Sometimes he let himself into the apartment to sleep with me, but I was almost sure that his plans involved him sleeping at his place. I let myself inside of the door and checked quickly to see that I was alone as I sighed in relief. I showered and climbed under the covers, ignoring the vibration of my phone on the nightstand. Brett wanted me to stay the night, and I was sure that it was him.

I made my way to class in the morning and found Cole waiting for me with a smile on his face. “Have fun?” I asked as I slid into my seat and looked forward.

“I sent you a text after I was drunk. You didn’t respond,” he said as I realized that my phone died when I left it on mute on the nightstand.

“It died. I fell asleep before I charged it,” I admitted with a smile as he shook his head at me. We ate lunch after our classes, and he glanced down at his phone right when we finished.

“It’s Dad. He wants to have dinner with us,” Cole said as I kept my face neutral. “I guess he pops into town once in a while.”

“I have a test I have to study for,” I said with a frown as he typed something back. There was no way that I was going to join them for dinner. I sensed that one would find out about the other at some point, but I didn’t want to be there when it happened.

I’d avoid that as long as I possibly could.

CHAPTER 12

I managed to juggle them over the next month or so. It was mostly Cole that was in my bed, but I met up with Brett a couple times in a hotel, managing not to get caught because Cole was so busy with football. I lucked out, but I felt guilty every day that passed.

It hit home when Cole was holding me after sex one night and kissed my nose. “I love you,” he told me as I smiled and felt ice slide through my veins.

“You do?” I asked as I knew inside that I loved him as well. I loved him, but I was hurting him every time I was with his dad.

“Yeah,” Cole replied, leaving a pause as he stared at me. “I thought that we could tell our parents about us over Christmas. Dad knows I’m with someone, but I haven’t admitted who yet.”

“Think they’ll be mad?” I asked as I looked at Cole. His eyes showed me that he was aware that I hadn’t returned his affection, along with the pain at the knowledge.

“I hope not if we mean as much to one another as I’d like to think we do,” he said as I sighed and pulled him closer.

“I care so much for you, Cole. You have to know about that. I’m just getting used to how we are now,” I explained as I kissed him.

“I do, but I just thought…” He shook his head. “I’m not going to pressure you. We still have some time before we go.”

I was officially worried about the trip for Christmas now. Brett and I were showing no signs of slowing down, and Cole seemed to be getting more serious about me by the day. I knew that I was getting in deep and I tried to focus on upcoming tests instead of my uncertain future.

We drove in separate cars since Cole had time with his mom as well. He split up the holidays now and would sleep at both places while I stayed at Brett and Mom’s house. It was very typical of divorced, blended families but I had to wonder how many of them were as chaotic as our blend. I could only hope for the best as I made the drive and finally pulled into the driveway.

Mom always decorated beautifully. This year was no different, and I looked around the house with a smile as I smelled the cinnamon in the air. “Hello?” I called out as I set the bag down and looked at the tall tree that was loaded with presents.

“Larisa,” Brett called from the kitchen as I let out a sigh.

“Hey,” I greeted him as I walked in and saw him seasoning some steaks for dinner.

“I’m glad you’re here. We’re alone tonight since Cole is with his mom and your mom is out of town for a couple nights.” She was always out of town, and I knew what would happen as a result. I looked him over, dressed in worn jeans and a fitted Henley that brought out his eyes.

I helped him with the meal, comparing the night with the one I might spend with Cole. They were both good men deep down, but I knew that I’d have to make the choice at some point.

I let Brett lead me to my room that night. We never used his-theirs. Oddly enough, that felt wrong, but this here in my bed was acceptable somehow. Twisted, I know.

The sex was hot and rough, just the way he knew I liked it. I talked him into not sleeping in there, just in case Cole came here and caught us. It was a legitimate excuse even if I wasn’t with Cole.

I woke up the next day, knowing that Brett had to work. I pulled on a robe and wandered into the kitchen to make some coffee and a small breakfast as I watched some television. I ended up moving up the channel list to find some of the porn channels activated as my mouth dropped open. I put my plate on the table and went over the titles, trying to figure out what film was about what.

Admittedly, I’d never watched this apart from my phone from time to time. More now than before, since the guys I was with made me horny all of the time. I let out a breath and relaxed against the cushions as I decided on something and clicked on the channel. It was a ménage film, and I took in the woman with two men as I wondered what it might be like with father and son for a guilty moment. God, what a bad thought as I watched the woman take one man into her mouth as the other leaned in to taste her. I compared them in my mind as I slipped my hand up my thigh and over my pussy. Brett would feel good filling my mouth while Cole bent me over to take me from behind and I stroked myself to the thought. Oh, God, I was wet.

I was moving fast and hard against my clit, entranced by the movie when I looked up to see Cole watching me. I whimpered as he stepped forward and looked at the screen. “Is that a fantasy of yours, Ris?” He dropped to his knees and told me to finish as he watched intently. I stroked fast and hard before I started to shudder and he covered me with his mouth and brought me closer to the edge. He yanked open the robe, and my nipples peaked in the cold air as I moaned his name.

I knew by now that Cole liked me to touch myself and I slid my hands up to pinch tightly as he kept licking and sucking me. I liked the pain, and I pulled as he watched me with dark eyes as he bit down on me. “Oh, fuck,” I cried out as I rocked forward and exploded. “Cole, oh God.”

I looked at the screen at the woman being double penetrated as I grabbed his head and held him there. He dragged out my orgasms beautifully, and I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the waves of pleasure. Cole finally pulled away to kiss me, and I held him close as I tasted myself on his lips. “What are you doing here?” I asked as he pulled away for a moment to look down my body.

“I wanted to see you,” Cole admitted as he looked back at the television. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you alone?”

“Yeah, I was flipping through, and I got curious,” I told him as he kissed me again. I hadn’t showered since the night before, but I was pretty sure that Brett hadn’t left any marks on me. “Someone has me all worked up these days.”

“Is it me or my son that you prefer?” The voice came from the kitchen, and we both turned to see Brett staring at us.

“What?” Cole asked as he tried to cover me with his body as Brett laughed.

“I’ve seen it. I’ve done it all,” he assured Cole as I started to feel the bottom drop out from under me. “It seems that you have as well.” His eyes locked with mine as I pleaded with him to stop this, but I watched him slide his hand down over the tent in his pants. “She looks like she needs a good fucking to me.” The people in the movie were fucking hard and fast as she let out loud moans and the guys slapped against her body with theirs.

“What the fuck?” Cole asked as he pressed against me through his pants. He was hard, and I took that chance to kiss him as he paused for a moment. His tongue met mine as I lost myself in the kiss and he ran his hands over my body. “Do you want this?” His voice was a whisper and I nodded as he looked at me with worried eyes.

I kissed him again, and Cole moved me onto the couch to where I was laying back on it. He tossed my robe to the side, and I heated up as I felt their eyes on me together, tracing every curve hungrily. “Touch yourself,” Brett ordered me as he sat down on the couch with his eyes locked between my legs. I reached down and met his gaze as I stroked my swollen clit, wetter than I’d ever been in my life. I touched and stroked as I moaned and looked up to see Cole watching me hungrily.

Oh, God, I was going to hell.

We ended up in my room the same movie on the television and my body draped over the bed. I’d already come with my fingers inside of me downstairs, and I felt dazed and needy as I watched Cole lift off his shirt as he sat beside me and stroked my hair back. Brett was at the other end as he stripped and I watched him as he spread my legs. “This wet pussy is driving me crazy,” he murmured, so caught up in staring at me that he didn’t seem to notice his son watching. He stroked me slowly as he met my eyes and saw my reaction. “So pink and swollen,” Brett leaned in to taste me, and I moaned as I felt Cole’s hand over my breast as I looked up at him. He was as needy as I was and he stared at me as I rocked against Brett and whimpered softly.

Cole moved only to drop his pants, and I watched as he moved beside me while I turned my head. I could just take him this way, and he slid inside as he grabbed my head. “Fuck her mouth,” Brett said before he dragged me between his teeth and held my hips.

I didn’t know what was happening in the movie, but I heard moans and cries as I added to the sounds. The feeling of my clit held prisoner by Brett while Cole slid in and out of my mouth was overwhelming, and I felt pleasure taking over as a release flooded me, causing me to jerk and tighten around Cole as he shot deep into my throat. I swallowed what I could, but some ran down my cheek as I felt Cole pull out and Brett pull away, leaving me empty as I reached out.

I was moved onto my stomach and felt someone spread my legs while another pair of hands cupped my face. I knew that I was a mess as I opened my mouth and took the offering, not caring who it was as I felt something hard nudge against my opening. I wanted both of them in every way that I could have them, and I cried out as heat sliced through me and filled me. The man in front of me moved along with the one behind me, and I took them both, wantonly and without shame.

CHAPTER 13

I closed my eyes as my body demanded sleep afterward and couldn’t make sense of what happened. Did I really just have them both? I was more hopeless than I initially thought and I let myself fade as hands touched me and covered me with a soft blanket.

I woke later, naked and warm as I opened my eyes slowly.

It all came rushing back to me, and I clutched the cloth around me. I’d slept with both men, both of them willing to share me. I knew I’d never forget it as I prayed silently for forgiveness if there was such a thing left for me at this point.

The house seemed quiet as I listened and tried to sort through my thoughts. I knew in my heart that today was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. It was a spontaneous moment that none of us could resist, a timing that couldn’t have been planned if we tried. It could affect a variety of relationships but still, I knew that I’d hold it as a precious memory, a moment with the men that meant the most to me.

I must’ve fallen asleep because I woke up later and went to the bathroom to shower. I washed them off of my skin and out of my mouth as I moved slowly under the water, in the best pain that I could ever feel. I dried my hair and pulled it into a ponytail before dressing in leggings and a sweatshirt.

It was now or never. I walked downstairs and found the television on in the living room as Brett watched a game while I looked for Cole. “He had dinner plans with his mom,” I observed him, and he looked calm as I sat down gingerly on the couch. “I want to regret that, but I can’t. I can’t ever forget the way that made me feel.”

“I understand,” I agreed as he looked at me and sipped his beer. “I feel the same way, but I can’t help but to wonder…what now?”

“What now,” Brett repeated as he seemed to mull that over. “I had a long talk with Cole after you fell asleep about that. Once the smoke cleared, he was admittedly angry with the situation that I readily admitted to him, seeing as we were pretty raw in that moment. I saw no reason to lie anymore, though, and once he expressed his anger towards me, he seemed to calm down. He told me that he was your best friend at school, which made me realize that my son was the one that you slept with in the beginning.” Brett shook his head and stared at me. “What a mess.”

“Yeah,” I agreed as I watched him twist his wedding ring slowly.

“I thought about things. None of us regret what happened to the best of my knowledge, but we also know that things can’t go back to how they were,” Brett looked at me sadly as I felt tears in my eyes. “We both care deeply for you, Larisa. My son is in love with you, though, and he told me that he has been for a long time. I feel strongly for you, but I know that this is a bad situation to have you in and I want you happy.”

“Brett,” I said as pain filled me and he dropped his hands.

“It’s best if we don’t continue, something that you tried to tell me. I am going to figure out this marriage and what I want in my life, but I am not going to keep you trapped in this. I’d like to think that someday we could talk. I’ll always hold this close to my heart.”

“Oh, God. How do we get through this holiday?” I asked as the tears flooded my cheeks

“The best way that we know how to,” he replied as he smiled at me. God, he was handsome, and all of the memories played through my mind. “I am not going to mention this to your mom. We had agreed on that before Cole left, but if you two end up working out, then we’ll tell her that. There’s nothing wrong with it technically, and you have a close relationship from what he says.”

I went back to my room and mourned the loss of my older lover, getting it all out before Mom got home. It was a critical and memorable part of my life, one that I’d never forget. I also thought about Cole and what we’d built over the years. I loved him, but I was going to leave this to him to decide. None of us could change what happened, and it seemed like we didn’t want to, but we’d have to move past it.

I stayed in my room and watched television, upset but not as ill as I was at the beginning of all of this. I’d grown up over the last few months, and I knew that I’d survive this.

I heard a knock at my door later that night and looked over to see Cole walk in as he looked at me. I was putting the sheets back on the bed that I’d washed and he helped me lay the comforter over that. I was dressed in pajamas that covered me, but I felt naked as he looked at me with emotions rising in his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

I looked at him. “I am okay. You?”

“I don’t know. That was…intense.” He looked at me as I nodded. “I don’t know why that turned me on, Ris. Nothing like that ever had before. That being said, I never want to repeat it, not with someone that means as much to me as you do.”

“Oh, Cole. I don’t want that either. That was one of the most chaotic parts of my life, probably ever and I will always wonder what I could’ve done differently. I just can’t dwell on that, but he and I did end things. That’s over.”

“I know. We talked about that. Dad loves me, you know. He never wanted to hurt me, but you’re…well, you.” Cole forced a smile, and I gave one back to him. “I want to try us. I know it will be weird after everything and that I have some work to do inside, but I do love you. I always have.”

“I love you, too,” I admitted as I sat down and looked up at him.

I did, too.

Epilogue

I’ll be honest…it wasn’t easy to make it work with Cole after all that happened. We loved each other, and we knew that, but there were times that we both hated what had happened and took it out on each other, leading to fights and tears. I felt guilty during these times and wondered if we had a fighting chance.

Other times, the past would turn us on, and we’d go at it like animals. It was rough and hard, punishing in my mind as I screamed his name. I didn’t know whether I preferred that to our sweet lovemaking after a fight some nights, but the truth of the matter was that I loved Cole more than anything. I let the past with Brett go and he tried to make it work for a few more months with Mom, who never learned about our torrid and dysfunctional affair. She only knew that Cole and I developed feelings for one another and acted on them.

Brett was moved out by the time January was over, into his own place and dating again. I’ll admit it was weird, but he wasn’t anything more than a man that my mother married at that point, giving me the love of my life and my future.

Cole and I spent the nights at my apartment. We did a variety of things together; dates, dinners, movies and sports for him but they always ended in my bed. His kiss heated me up months later, making me weak and needy all over again even after the worst fight.

One night, we’d stayed in watching movies with a fire burning in the large fireplace that was the focal point of my living room. We were a year from graduating and looking forward to getting jobs and changing things up a bit. He looked around the room, lit only with an orange glow and cozy before he leaned over to kiss me. Cole knew what he was doing as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss easily. I smiled against him as I allowed him to part my lips and slide his tongue against mine, finding it hard to breathe like every other time he kissed me. His hands quickly scooped me up and over his body, where I felt his hard cock pressing into the yoga pants that I wore as I rocked against him. “Feeling a little frisky?” I asked as he pulled away to kiss my neck slowly.

“We’ve been studying. A lot. I need to be inside of you where I belong,” Cole whispered in my ear as I shivered and found his lips with mine. We’d been going strong for months now, coming up on a year. I felt his mouth crash against mine as he gripped my ass to hold me still, teasing me with the thrusting of his hips. I cried out as he sucked my earlobe into his mouth, finding my clit with the rough edge of his jeans as he continued to torment me.

Clothes were stripped quickly in between long kisses, and he lifted me up before he drew my nipple into his mouth. I closed my eyes and tried to rock against him, but he held me tight as I whimpered his name. “Cole…oh God. I need you so bad.” I realized that it had been a busy week with studying and just falling asleep together in complete exhaustion. I pulled him closer to me and slid my feet through the cushions as I found him hard and bare, sliding back and forth against his cock as I moaned.

“Fuck, Larisa. You’re so wet,” Cole groaned as he bit down and made me jerk hard. “I can’t take this anymore.” I went on the pill right after we got together so we wouldn’t have to worry about condoms, once we got tested for anything. That was awkward, but we made it through, and I felt the heat of him as he lifted me and impaled me on him with one fluid movement. “So tight. So fucking tight. Fuck me baby. I need your hot cunt,” Cole chanted as I found leverage and started grinding against him hard and fast. He was thick and hard, filling me as I rode him, his lips and teeth still finding my skin with the movement as I whimpered and cried. “I love you, Ris. I love you so much.” He came hard along with me as I told him how much I loved him back, holding me close as our sweaty skin slipped together with our heat. “I want to live with you. I want to make this official, Lis. Please…I’m ready.”

I pulled away and stared at him for a long moment as his gaze locked with mine. We took some time with the relationship, not talking about living together or anything too soon. We still spent the night together almost every night, but his words changed everything. “I am, too. Will you move here or do you want to get another place?” We had a lot of memories here now, and he kissed me softly as I closed my eyes.

“This will do until we can get a house after graduation. I just need to know I’m waking up with you every morning and go to sleep with you every night,” Cole said against my mouth before he kissed me again.

Six months later, Cole was taking me from behind before we had to leave for school in just a few minutes. I held on to the sheets and pressed back against him as I cried out his name. Cole held onto my hips as he thrust deep and hard and moaned my name before I exploded and screamed with my release. I dropped to the bed and took a ragged breath and closed my eyes. “I don’t want to go to class,” I murmured as he rolled onto his side next to me and pulled me close.

“Let’s stay in bed,” Cole suggested as I opened one eye and looked at him. He moved and reached over to his side of the bed and looked back at me with a smile. “We can celebrate with dinner later.”

“Celebrate what?” I asked as I crawled up to the pillows and curled up.

He held up a dark velvet box, and my mouth dropped open. “I’ve been friends with you for so long now, Lis. We’ve been through a lot as friends and lovers now, and I want you to be my wife. I want you in my life forever. Will you marry me?”

I moved quickly and pounced on him with renewed energy as I kissed him. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, baby. I should’ve planned a bigger event to ask you and I was going to, but I had the ring, and we were here. It struck me to ask you now.” He gave me a rueful grin as I smiled and wiped at the tear sliding down my cheek. “Can you forgive me?”

“Yes, Cole. I can’t believe this,” I sobbed as he opened the box and pulled out the ring. “I can’t wait to marry you.” He took my shaking hand and slipped the ring on my finger before he rolled me over and stared into my eyes.

“You’re mine, baby. I love every part of you, and I know that I can’t live without you. I am aware that you need to be in my future, now and forever.” I looked from his face to the ring, a band of smaller diamonds that surrounded a bigger stone, though nothing that was gaudy or too big for my smaller hand. It was simple and beautiful and almost more than I felt that I was worthy of in my darker moments.

“It’s beautiful, Cole,” I kept staring at it as the tears slid down my cheeks and wonder filled my heart. “So beautiful.” That was the only day that I skipped school, to stay in bed with him making love before we went out to dinner to celebrate over candlelight with wine.

We got married at a small, quaint church a year later after we graduated, ready to start our new lives. Our families were there; both of our parents with their latest significant others of a few months and seemingly happy. I’d like to think that it was a typical family situation, but deep down I understood that it was far from that. I was happy, though, and my new husband loved me completely and without end, and that I loved him just as much.

Thanks to a bad batch of birth control pills, I surprised Cole with a pregnancy two months after the wedding, and we had something else to adjust to. He took it with stride and hurried in finding us a starter house and working on it daily so it was ready for our new arrival. I was sick through most of the nine months and ended up staying home instead of finding a job, but Cole took that responsibility on and did that for me as well.

We made love every night before we fell asleep together, me with raging hormones thanks to the baby and him with the last hint of energy sometimes. It was sweet and slow sometimes and at other hard and fast. I was insatiable. I needed everything that he could give me.

Our daughter Elena Rose was born in the Fall, and after a long birth, I snuggled her in my arms and looked down at her tiny, beautiful face wrapped in her pink blanket while Cole sat with me on the bed to stare at her with me. We were alone after a long day, and I felt the tears in my eyes as I turned my head to look at him. “She’s so pretty. Isn’t she pretty, Cole?”

“Beautiful, just like you, baby,” Cole told me as he slipped an arm around me and kissed my hair before he pressed his lips gently to her soft forehead.

“She was worth it, all of it,” I declared, finally at peace with everything. I’d heard that before from people and never quite got it, but I wouldn’t trade anything for this moment; for my daughter. Life was going to change drastically, and we’d have a lot to adjust to, but I was confident that I could handle all of that with Cole by my side.

I knew that we could take on the world. We’d already been through so much, all for this. All for her.

Stay with me

PROLOGUE

Brett

I stood up and glanced down at the blonde spread out on the bed as I ran my hand through my hair. She was one of many as I nursed my way through a crazy point in my life and I dressed quietly so I could make my way out of her hotel room without waking her up.

It was another night at another bar, with a different woman. I ordered a cab to the bar that was a few blocks away, too tired to walk to my car now of night. Once I was in the parking lot, I got into my brand-new Range Rover and pushed the button as I took a deep breath.

I had the craziest story of anyone that I knew.

I drove home to my apartment on the water and dropped into bed as I pictured Larisa in my mind. She was a one-night-stand that turned into a stepdaughter briefly after I married her mother after a whirlwind relationship. Rayna, her mom, was gorgeous but once I realized who her daughter was, I regretted my choice. Of course, I ended up sleeping with Larisa again for a short time, who was also sleeping with my son and ultimately ended up with him once the dust settled. They were happily married with a son now, and I divorced Rayna soon after Larisa ended things between us. My ex-wife didn’t seem to have a hard time meeting a new man that had a large bank account before I even moved out of her house, so she was doing fine. They were both doing fine, and I was sleeping with various women to get over the memories of Larisa that I still had. I blamed myself for clinging so tightly to them.

I never told her and wouldn’t, but she felt incredible under me, on her knees in front of me and sucking my cock. Larisa was beautiful and one of the women that I wanted more with, but we had too much of an age range between us and we were in different parts of our lives.

That and I knew how much Cole loved her. I saw that when we had our threesome, just once. It was hot, but things changed rapidly after that night, breaking my heart more than I’d ever admit. I’d deal with it for her happiness as well as my son’s.

I just might leave a trail of women behind me as I fucked my way through the pain.

CHAPTER 1

Brett

I showered in the morning, rinsing my hair with the hot water as I closed my eyes. I didn’t drink too much last night knowing that I had to work today but the small amount hit me a lot harder at thirty-nine than it had at the age of twenty-nine.

I had a new assistant starting at work today, replacing one of five years that had a baby and decided to stay home with her new daughter during her maternity leave. This woman was named Amy Norden, and I’d admired her curves from the moment I interviewed her with a few colleagues. She had a stellar resume, and there was no reason not to hire her since the mortgage business was picking up on a weekly basis.

There was also no reason not to hit on her, even though it was inappropriate. I was a good-looking man, and I knew that she’d likely want it as well. Why not spice things up at work? I seemed to lose all my ethics fucking my wife and stepdaughter at the same time, so where was my line? It was only coming up on two years since everything ended and I had a window to keep screwing up.

Besides, I was the CEO. I controlled the company.

I dressed in a crisp white shirt and a pair of my fitted slacks, leaving my green tie around my neck as I ran some product through my hair to keep it controlled to the tousled look that women seemed to enjoy. I always brought a jacket with me in case I met with any clients, but I didn’t wear it in the office. I knotted the tie before I went out to my car and made the short drive to my office. I lived in Colorado when I was still married, which was where Rayna and Larisa lived, working from home or the local office and traveling when needed. Once all of that ended, I made the move back to California and started working in that local office daily again. LA was fast and exciting, keeping me busy and amid dating a lot of women.

I thought back to Colorado as I parked my car in the garage under the building, a place where I cooked dinners and spent time with the family that I had for a fleeting moment. Now I grabbed take-out on the way home or just drank my dinner at a bar, making me shake my head as I got out of the car and draped my jacket over my arm before I headed across the lot to the elevator. I was one of the first ones in the office, and I greeted the few that were already there, getting their computers warmed up and gulping down hot coffee from the Keurig machines in the large break room. I felt the way that the women looked at me with that familiar flush in their cheeks, but I was only interested in my new assistant at this moment. I’d certainly slept with a few of them here since returning, but now I was only focused on one woman.

I turned the corner and saw the curvy brunette standing by the desk that was going to be hers, wearing a pencil skirt and white silk buttoned shirt that many women wore to the office, but she filled it out perfectly. I let my eyes slide down her body to see her black heels with the red bottoms that were so popular and my cock hardened in my pants. Just then, I saw her turn her head and met her deep blue gaze as she raised an eyebrow at me. “Good morning, Miss Norden,” I greeted her as she watched me approach her.

“Call me Amy, since I will be assisting you,” she suggested as her full red lips curved into a scornful smile. I liked her already, and I shifted on my feet to try and hide the evidence of that.

“Call me Brett,” I replied as I opened my office door to set my things down. “I’ll show you around since I need some coffee.” I took her to the break room and showed her everything that we offered employees, making a strong cup of black coffee for myself while she chose to fix a Chai tea latte. I showed her where the restrooms were as well and then we went back to my office, where she sat across from me at my large cherry wood desk. “You have a top-of-the-line Mac at your desk loaded with all of the software that you’ll need. I am also providing you with an iPad for taking any notes as well as other mobile tasks, a cell phone strictly for business as well as access to my business email in case you have to handle any of my communications.” I leaned back before I sipped my coffee, taking in her pale skin and big eyes as I shifted again in my seat. I listed some of the software that we used, and she nodded a few times to indicate that she was familiar with it.

“So, are you the kind of man that wants a beck and call girl as well as an assistant?” Amy asked in a gentle drawl as I tilted my head. I didn’t notice that during the interview.

“Depends on what you’re offering,” I joked lightly as she surveyed me with a keen gaze. “Where are you from?” I asked as she sipped her coffee.

“Born in Tennessee and lived there until I was fifteen. Mom moved here when my parents split, and I kept the accent since I was homesick for quite some time,” Amy responded as I nodded. “I suppose it’s grown on me now.” She shrugged easily.” Mom was in real estate for years, sparking my interest. I skipped the selling part and got into mortgage end of things. The idea of driving people around to see houses doesn’t appeal to me at all.”

“You’ll see clients here as well,” I reminded her as I dropped my eyes to her lips for a long moment.

“That I can handle,” she told me as she frowned. “Do you look at all of your assistants like they’re a piece of steak?”

“You’re beautiful,” I told her, leaning forward as I cleared my throat.

“Thanks, but you’re my superior, and I want this job. I don’t want to lose it because of a tryst with you,” Amy assured me as I stared at her in surprise. “You’re not that charming, so stop trying.”

Even my former assistant flirted with me before announcing her pregnancy, and she was married for five years. I glanced at Amy’s hands and saw no ring as she shook her head. “Somehow I think that wouldn’t stop you.”

“You’re probably right,” I replied as she rolled her shoulders back and sighed. I wanted this woman, and I knew that I’d stop at little to prove it to her. “Can we have dinner tonight?”

“Stop this now. I am here for a job,” Amy reminded me even though I could see the want in her eyes. “Is there anything else we need to go over?”

I took her to her desk and showed her everything on her computer as people passed us with various greetings. Amy was friendly but stuck to business as we went over the few things that she was interested in, nodding as she watched me. I made a point to lean a little closer to her to get a hint of the sweet scent that I noticed, something spicy that reminded me of the Fall. Damn, she smelled good, and she tensed as she sensed my closeness. “Let me know if you need anything. This is a direct line to my office,” I showed her a button, and she nodded as I walked through my door and cracked it, just in case.

I was losing my touch. Amy didn’t seem to be affected by me in the least, even with the small amount of heat that I saw in her eyes. I laughed as I realized that it was just her first day. I had plenty of time to wear her down, and I turned on my computer to check some emails as I finished my first cup of coffee. There were plenty after the weekend, and I sent some responses back as well as making some phone calls to some of the top clients. There were always things to discuss, and I tested Amy out by sending her a message on the computer to make a reservation at one of the best restaurants in the city for Wednesday at noon.