Train Me Daddy by Mia Ford (32)

The words had a whole lot of hurt behind them. I could practically feel the pain pulsing through him. He’d been hurt before and I couldn’t even blame him for keeping people at arm’s length. I’d never, and probably would never, have the kind of money he had. I’d never worried about people using me for my money.

“That makes sense.”

He turned to look at me, slightly surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve never been in your situation, so I’ve never really thought of that scenario before, but it makes sense.”

He paused and glanced at me, sighing. “Most people lecture me and tell me that I shouldn’t be so cynical.”

“Well, you know what you’re doing. You know how to protect yourself. When someone you think is worth it comes around, you’ll make the right decision.” I offered him a smile and tapped on the rim of my glass.

He poured me more wine without question, topping off his own glass. “Since we’re getting to know each other…Why did you spend so much time abroad? Don’t you have family in the states?”

I stiffened a little and took a long drink from my glass, nearly draining half of it before setting it down, grunting softly. “Yeah. I have family in the states,” I murmured.

“It just seems hard to stay away from your family for that long.”

I sighed and closed my eyes, shaking my head slowly. “it’s not really that hard when you don’t get along with them.”

He seemed to realize the conversation had gotten tense and cleared his throat. I was happy we seemed to understand where each other’s boundaries were. I set my glass down and turned towards him, scooting my chair closer so that I could rest my head on his shoulder. My heart was beating just a little too fast, but I didn’t care. I was drunk enough to ignore all the warnings in my head. I knew I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. I shouldn’t have asked him about his past and I shouldn’t have told him about mine. Those were my first two mistakes.

I sighed a little and closed my eyes “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For taking me out. I’ve had a really nice time.”

He hesitated, but gently wrapped his arms around my shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. We looked out onto the balcony together and I smiled as fireworks wound their way through the sky, exploding above our heads. It took my breath away and I leaned against him, my eyes closed. He was warm and the breeze was cool.

I looked up at him and saw the reflection of the fireworks in his eyes. I was unable to ignore it and sat up, pressing my lips to his in a long, needy kiss. He moaned and cupped my cheeks, pulling me close. It wasn’t as passionate or desperate as the kiss we’d shared in the kitchen, but it was just as electric. Goose bumps rose on my arms and when we parted, my cheeks were flushed. My lips parted and I whispered the words that had been stuck in my throat.

“Take me home?”

* * *

Jami

We stumbled through the front door of her small, but well-kept apartment, unable to keep our hands off each other. Her finger roamed my body, pausing at my waist to hastily undo my pants. Every single movement screamed of desperation. She wanted me, and I wanted her just as badly. I couldn’t ever remember wanting someone like this.

By the time, we reached the bedroom, we’d left a trail of abandoned clothes that led to the queen-sized bed pushed up against the blush colored walls. Her knees hit the back of the bedframe and we tumbled into impossibly soft sheets, our arms wrapped around each other as our lips crashed together for the hundredth time that night. We hadn’t stopped kissing since we’d left the restaurant and it still hadn’t gotten boring. I could have done this all night long, but there were things I wanted even more.

I pulled away, panting softly, the throbbing between my legs becoming damn near unbearable. “Tell me what you want.”

Her fingers threaded into my hair and she gave a solid pull. “I want you.”

That was all the invitation I needed. My lips traced the delicate curve of her neck and I couldn’t help but feel the need to bite her and nip at her neck. I wanted to see my mark on her. I wanted the world to know she was mine.

The tender nips elicited a low moan and she arched against me, her perfectly round, bare breasts pressed against my warm skin. I couldn’t resist reaching up and cupping them, giving them a firm squeeze before brushing my thumb over one of her perky nipple. Another moan fell from her lips and she leaned her head back, one hand reaching for the head board

I watched her draw her bottom lip between her teeth, biting it until it turned red from the abuse. She pulled me closer for another kiss, her eyes half lidded with a desperate desire that made the heat in my belly rise. God. What was she doing to me? No one had ever done this to me before.

My lips brushed the high bones in her cheeks and soon they flushed bright red. She gripped my wrist with a surprising strength and guided my hand further south until my fingers found her womanly mound. She was already slick with nectar and I couldn’t help but moan as my fingers began to tease her delicate folds, tracing slow circles along the part I knew would bring her the most pleasure. Tonight, was about her. That’s all I wanted.

That little bit of stimulation was already making her moan and writhe beneath me. I watched as small, mousy sounds escaped her lips and her body went pink underneath my skilled fingers. I knew what she wanted and I was more than ready to give it to her. Still, a little bit of teasing was never a bad thing, right?

Once I’d decided she’d had enough, I slipped two fingers inside of her, enjoying her body’s warmth. She let out a choked sound of pleasure, her hips rocking back and forth. She moaned my name over and over again, her breath hitching between words. I wanted to hear more of those desperate moaned so I began to thrust my fingers in and out of her at a desperate pace, pleased when she began to cry out, coming completely unhinged.

“N-No more! Fuck! Please! Give me what I want!” She was pleading now, her head tossed back against the pillows and her hair a wild mess.

Her begging drove me wild and I gripped her hips, holding her down and taking control. She seemed like the type of woman who liked to control everything around her, and those were the ones who often wanted a break and wanted to hand over that control to someone else. Even if it was just for a night.

She moaned my name when I entered her and the sound made me shudder with excitement. I settled inside of her and waited, allowing her to adjust to my size, but I wasn’t able to hold back for long. Soon I was rocking my hips back and forth, whispering her name and sweet nothings in her hear as her velvet cavern engulfed me, making me want even more. She was so warm and so welcoming. I wanted this to last forever.

I moved with deliberate thrusts, wanting nothing more than for her to scream my name as she came again and again. I’d always been told I was a good lover, but my skill hadn’t been on purpose. I’d never been so focused on my lover’s pleasure before, but tonight I wanted her to feel like a queen. I wanted her to have the night of her life, because I wanted her to come back.

Fire was burning in my belly and liquid pleasure was starting to spread through my entire body. I knew I was going to finish at any second. Each thrust was more desperate than the one before it and soon I found myself holding her down, my fingers leaving angry little red marks behind. Marks didn’t usually do anything for me, but tonight, I wanted to see them on her body.

Those marks were the last thing I needed. My voice caught in my throat and I let out a low, guttural growl as I finished inside her. I felt the soft walls of her womanhood contract around my shaft, milking every last drop of my essence. She was whispering my name like a prayer, her arms wrapped around me and her fingers digging into my shoulders.

We lay in each other’s arms, panting as the soft breeze from an open window licked at the thin sheen of sweat on our skin. Lena laughed softly, looking up at me with glassy eyes.

“That was amazing…” she murmured, her eyes already closing.

I nodded and collapsed on the bed beside her, wrapping my arms around her. “It really was.”

She pressed herself against my chest, falling asleep without a second thought. As I held her, I couldn’t stop thinking about how good she felt in my arms and how I didn’t want this to be the last time we laid in bed together. As I laid beside her and stroked her beautiful midnight hair, I couldn’t help but think a terrifying thought.

I wanted her around…and not just for sex.

* * *

Lena

The next morning, I woke up in a bed that wasn’t mine. The space next to me was empty but still warm. I lifted my head and grunted, putting a hand to my temple to try and ease the pounding in my head. I’d worked in restaurants and bars my entire life, but I was still a lightweight. It didn’t take much for the hangover to set in.

I sighed and slipped out of the bed, walking over to the wall and picking a robe up off the hanger. It wasn’t mine, but I was sure Jami wouldn’t mind. As I walked down the stairs I could hear bacon sizzling and smell the sweet, buttery taste of homemade syrup. Looks like I wasn’t the only one who could cook.

I settled on the bar stool and smiled at Jami, my chin in my hands. I hummed softly and he glanced over his bare shoulder, grinning. “Morning.”

“You gonna make me breakfast before you kick me out?”

“I ain’t gonna kick you out,” He said sliding a fluffy pancake onto a plate.

“I didn’t know you can cook.”

“I can make a decent breakfast, but that’s about it,” he said, placing the heaping plate in front of me.

I shoveled a large bite of eggs into my mouth, groaning softly at the edible hangover cure. This was all I’d ever wanted. I sighed and shook my head slowly, giving him a thumbs up. “This is great. Just what I needed.”

He put his own plate down and sat beside me, starting to eat big bites of pancakes. His hair was down, tucked behind his ears and his arms bare. I was surprised at just how much I liked waking up next to a half-naked hunk making me breakfast. Most people found out I was a chef and just assumed I was going to cook for them all the time.

“I had a really great time last night.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed our date,” he said, smiling and giving me a peck on the cheek.

I chuckled and nudged him. “I meant the whole thing.” I paused for a moment, moving a pile of eggs around before looking at him seriously. “You know. This started as a way for me to get over you. Something about you hypnotized me and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t want to get mixed up with my boss and I figured if I just slept with you…You’d be out of my head.”

“Maybe it’ll work. You haven’t been away from me yet.”

I cocked a brow and sighed. “I don’t think that’s the way it’s going to work.”

He was silent for a moment and finally glanced over at me. “Well, I ain’t disappointed about it.”

“I thought you didn’t want to get close to anyone.”

“You’re not the type of girl who’d take advantage of someone for their money.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s just a feeling I got. I ain’t saying I love you or anything. That would be a little weird, but what I am saying is that I want to give this whole thing a shot. I want to give it more than a one night stand,” he said with a nod.

I paused, tapping my fingers on the table nervously. “You mean that?”

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I do.”

I couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at my lips. “If you’re lying, I’m gonna knock your pretty teeth in.”

He laughed and threw back his head. “I know you would. I’m not messing with you, alright? I like the idea of having a woman around who can kick my ass, though. It’s kind of sexy.”

I chuckled and sipped the coffee he’d made me. “Until she actually kicks your ass, right?”

“I’d gladly take an ass kicking from you.”

If I rolled my eyes any harder, I was sure they would detach from my skull. “You’re such a butt kisser.”

He puckered up and I punched him playfully in the arm, more than a little grateful for the banter. When I first woke up, I was afraid this was going to be a serious morning full of conversations about what the night before meant. I was happy for the teasing and easy conversation.

We fell into a comfortable silence after that. I sipped my coffee and hummed to myself, eating my breakfast happily. It wasn’t often that someone cooked for me. I was going to enjoy it while it lasted. I wanted to just enjoy my time with Jami and not question our future.

A sudden knock on the door made me jump and drop my spoon, my eyes wide and fixed on the door. It was too early in the morning for visitors and the look on Jami’s face told me he wasn’t expecting any company. His lips pulled into a tight line and he set his plate aside, standing and going to the door. He peered into the peephole and let out an audible groan as he opened the door just enough to peek outside.

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to come by and say hi,” a female voice responded.

I frowned deeply and pushed away from the bar, moving to stand behind Jami, trying to see around his powerful frame.

“It’s not a good time, Marie. You need to leave.”

My eyes met the other woman’s and I saw red hot jealousy flash across her face. “Who is that?” She demanded, pointing right at me.

“It’s none of your business, Marie!”

“Is that one of your whores?! Is that the woman you left me for?!”

“Watch your goddamn mouth!” Jami hissed, reaching out so that he could put some distance between the woman and the door. “You need to go before I call the cops.”

“He’ll use you!” The woman piped up, her eyes wide. “He’ll get what he wants from you and then throw you to the curb like he did me! He told me he loved me and now I’m banned from his office! You’re nothing special. Don’t fall for his shit!”

“GET OUT!” Jami stepped through the door, his eyes narrowed as he marched forward, his eyes wide with anger. “Get the fuck off my property!”

The woman stumbled back, eyes wide with fear. She fell back and hit the ground, her eyes meeting mine again for a brief moment. She turned to look at Jami, tears in her big blue eyes. “I loved you, Jami. I gave you everything!”

“Cut the act, Marie. No one is buying it.”

He was wrong though. I wasn’t sure who I should believe. My heart said to believe Jami, but this wasn’t the first person I’d met who warned me about Jami. Was I being stupid? Was I playing with fire? Maybe I needed to start listening.

“I just wanted to love you, but you wouldn’t let me in.” Marie sobbed, staring up at him, holding her arms out.

Jami hoisted her to her feet, immediately releasing her. “Go!” He snapped, eyes wild with rage. “I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.”

Marie sniffled and looked at me knowingly before turning and trudging back to the elevator that would take her back to the lobby of the apartment building. As I watched her go, I couldn’t stop my heart from sinking into my stomach. Was that my fate if I stuck around? The comfortable feeling I’d been experiencing just a few moments ago disappeared completely and I was left with a cold, empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Jami was walking towards the apartment door, holding his hands out as if they’d been covered in mud. “I’ve been trying to get rid of that girl for months,” he murmured, walking over to the sink to wash his hands.

I watched him in silence for a long time, imagining him washing that woman from his hands and washing me away just as easily. Was this my warning? I cleared my throat, but I didn’t move closer. I stayed a safe distance away, unable to explain my fear. I wasn’t worried about him hurting my physically, but I was afraid.

“Did you tell her you loved her?”

He let out a heavy sigh, putting both his hands on the counter. “No. I took her out on a date, slept with her and never called her.” His voice was sharp and his words were cruel. “I fucked her and kicked her out the next morning. You know why?! Because I’m a bad fucking person, okay? Is that what everyone wants to hear? They want me to admit that I’m a shitty person?! That I’m always out for myself?”

There was a lump in my throat and I finally managed to swallow it, my brows drawn together. I wasn’t stupid. I knew the type of guy he was and I could guess the things he’d done, but hearing them come from him and witnessing the aftermath made it seem so much more real. In the glow of good wine and delicate paper lanterns, I’d managed to forget all the things that people had warned me about, but I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

I started back towards the stairs, glancing over my shoulder. “I…Have to go.”

“Good. Get out. Get your shit and just get out.” The playful tone from earlier was gone and all that was left was a deep seeded anger.

It only took me a few moments to gather up my clothes, get dressed and walk out the door, deciding that I’d rather wait in the lobby for my cab. I didn’t think I could stand another second of the tension that had sparked between Jami and I.

So much for keeping things simple.

* * *

Jami

I didn’t like to admit when something ate at me. I didn’t like to admit that watching Lena walk away had made my chest tighten and made my throat dry, but what I hated most was how hard it was to avoid her. At the end of the day she was still my employee and I still had a business to run. That meant I had to see her perfect face every day and pretend like nothing had happened.

Her demeanor around me had completely changed and I hated it. She always called me ‘sir’ and kept our conversations as short as possible. Without ever saying a word, she made it clear to me that she wanted nothing to do with me and I hated it. I wanted a reaction out of her and I wanted her back. Every other woman in my life had come back, why was she the one who was different?

I’d been racking my brain for ways to get her back, but I came up empty every time. Just when I thought I’d found the way back to her heart, I realized it wouldn’t work on her. She wasn’t wooed by fancy gifts and expensive jewelry.

I was at a loss and finally decided to give it one shot. I would do the most basic thing I could think of…I would just talk to her. It was the only thing I could come up with. Everything else seemed useless.

Still, I didn’t think flowers would hurt.

I was waiting in the restaurant, surrounded by hundreds of yellow roses. Even though we’d both been more than a little drunk I’d remembered the way her face lit up when she told me her favorite flower. I’d committed it to memory and in this moment, I was glad for that.

Lena walked through the door and flipped the lights on, jumping when our eyes met. The restaurant wouldn’t be open for another three hours, but I knew she’d want to come in early to get her kitchen prepped. Lena was one of the most dedicated people I’d ever met especially when it came to her job.

“W-What?” Her eyes were wide as she looked around and took in the room full of flowers. I could see that she was trying to understand what was going on. Finally, her eyes landed on mine and she held my gaze for a moment before looking away. “We can’t open the restaurant if it’s full of flowers,” she whispered.

“I know. I’m not opening the restaurant today.”

She frowned deeply and looked at me like I had two heads. “We have to open the restaurant. It’s Friday. It’s the busiest day of the week.”

She was always so damn practical. “I have something more important to take care of,” I admitted, nodding towards one of the booths. “Sit?”

She hesitated, but finally move to sit in the empty booth, her arms crossed over her chest. “What?”

I sat across from her and folded my hands on the table, my gaze fixed on her. “I’m not here to beg you or convince you to do something you don’t want to do, alright? I just want you to hear me out and whatever you decided after that…I’ll accept it and we can both move on. Is that fair?”

She cocked a brow and sighed. “Fine. Go ahead. Talk.”

“I know it got to you when you saw me and Marie. I don’t even blame you. It gets pretty nasty when it comes to me and her. If you’ve never seen her before, I can see why you might be suspicious, but…You can ask anyone. Marie has no interest in me. She’s real interested in my money, though. She thinks she can convince me she loves me if she keeps playing this game, but it isn’t going to work. I’m not going to fall into that trap again.”

“Trap? What do you mean?”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “I just…I want you to know what happened and why I’m the way I am. You asked me on our date and I never really answered.”

Her shoulders relaxed and I could tell she was actually listening now. Her face had softened and her eyes were fixed on my features. I could feel my chest tightening and the fear creeping in through every inch of my body. I hadn’t talk with anyone like this in a long time.

“Years ago, when I first moved to New York and established my business, I didn’t know how to handle the money or the fame,” I started. “I didn’t know how cruel people could be or how cunning. I fell in love with a woman named Gemma and I thought it was the real deal. We were perfect for each other. She made me laugh and she made me feel like I was the only man in the world. She treated me like a king, so I asked her to marry me.” I frowned and my shoulders slumped forward just a little. “It was all a game. We got married, then she divorced me and ran off when a musician she met around the same time we started dating. Now she gets alimony and I pay for her house in Belize.”

“Oh, God…That’s awful…”

I nodded slowly and reached out to touch her hand. “And it’s not about the money.” Her fingers curled around mine. “I have plenty of money. I really do. I have so much of it, I don’t even really know what to do with it, but she broke my heart. I loved her. I loved her with every piece of me, and after all that, I knew I didn’t want to find myself in that situation again. I never wanted to give someone that kind of power over me ever again, so I just started sleeping around. I toyed with woman, thinking it would make me feel better, but it never did.”

She was silent for a long moment, her brows furrowed. “So…What about me? What does all of this have to do with me?”

“I trust you.”

“We haven’t known—“

“I know, but I can smell a gold digger a mile away and you aren’t one of them. That’s why I wanted to get to know you. You’re the first woman who’s actually made me work for her attention, you know that?” he said with a soft laugh. “You’re the first woman I couldn’t win over with money or gifts. That made me want you even more. At first, I was even convinced it was a game, but now I know it’s not. I’m not ready to tell you I love you, but I hope that one day I can get there…If you’ll give me the chance.”

She looked around, her eyes darting between my face and the flowers. Finally, she sighed and turned to face me. “I don’t like letting people in either.”

I sat up straighter, wanting her to know that I was paying attention to every word she was saying. She smiled as I straightened and pulled her hands away, standing to move to sit beside me in the booth. “I’ve been let down by people I loved too…People who were supposed to love me unconditionally. So…It’s not going to be easy, but I think I want to give this a shot.”

A grin tugged at my lips and I couldn’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around her. “Really?”

She nodded and draped her arms around my neck, her thumb running along the fine hairs at the back of my neck. “Yeah. I’ve missed you, Jami. I missed talking to you like this. I don’t really know what to do with that feeling, but I think if you give me enough time I’ll figure it out.”

“Seems like we’re both a little emotionally stunted.”

She chuckled and nodded. “Just a little…But that makes it fun.”

I pressed my forehead to hers and closed my eyes, enjoying the way her breath tickled my lips. “So, are we okay?”

“If you keep your word.”

“I’m never going to mess with you. I told you the morning after our date, and I’ll say it again. I mean it, Lena.”

She smiled and cupped my cheek, nodding. “I know you do.”

Finally, Lena closed the space between us, our lips crashing together so hard I was sure my own lips would be bruised in the morning, but I don’t care. The desperation in that kiss showed just how hard we’d both been trying to ignore our feelings.

I’d be damned if I ignored them anymore.

* * *

Lena

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t missed him. There was some part of him that had managed to get under my skin and I hated to admit it, but I wanted him. I wanted him pressed against me at night while I slept and I wanted him to hold me close on that beautiful veranda again. I just wanted him.

When our lips met, he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the seat of the booth and placed me on the edge of the sturdy oak table. He stood up, leaving me panting for air as he moved to stand at the edge of the table, spinning me around and pushing me onto my back. I gasped, staring up at the industrial styled lights, spreading my legs without thinking.

He leaned over me, tall enough to press a long, needy kiss to my lips as he pushed my dress up over my hips, making my cheeks flush. He pulled away, his lips still barely tickling mine as he ran a finger down the dip of my dress.

“I was so scared when you left. I didn’t think you were going to come back. This isn’t just sex anymore. This isn’t about the damn hunt. This is about you and me and that’s exactly how I want it.”

I nodded and pressed my palm to his cheek, taking a deep breath. “I know. Me too…Now shut up and show me how you feel about me.”

His hands roamed along the tender flesh of my inner thighs and I wasn’t sure if it was my mind playing tricks on me or not, but my body somehow felt even more amazing than it had that first night. Each touch was like a flame kissing my skin and leaving a trail of desire. Maybe it was strange to be having sex right now. Maybe it wasn’t appropriate, but I didn’t care. I just needed to feel him against him. I needed to be the one woman he came back to.

Jami pulled down the jersey neck line of my dress, exposing my bare breasts. I rarely wore a bra and I was sure he’d caught onto it by now. He teased my breasts with tender kisses before nipping at the sensitive underside of each one, leaving behind a stinging sensation that made a fire burn between my legs. I could feel the heat of his cock pressed between my legs and each time he moved it elicited a low moan from his lips.

I was wriggling desperately underneath him, my cheeks red and the rest of my body just as flushed. I heard the tell-tale sound of his belt buckle coming undone and I cried out when he hooked his fingers in the waist band of my panties, pulling them down in one swift motion. They dangled off my foot and he moaned softly, looking down at my disheveled body.

“Look at you. Fuck you’re gorgeous.”

The praise pulled a moan from me and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him down and whispering against his lips. “Take me. God, take me.”

He was just eager to give me just what I wanted. He grabbed my hips and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pressed his length into me deeper than he had the first time we’d made love. It felt amazing and I arched my back in a desperate attempt to take even more. I would have taken anything he was willing to give.

Given what had happened just a week before, I hadn’t expected to want him this bad. I hadn’t expected to forgive him so quickly and invite him back into my life. Jami was a dangerous man when it came to romance. I knew that he could pull my heart right from my chest and rip it up into tiny little pieces. Even with that knowledge, I trusted him even though I didn’t really have a reason to. When it came to Jami, all I could do was listen to my heart.

I pushed those thoughts away, closing my eyes and allowing myself to enjoy whatever it was he was willing to offer me. When his hips snapped against mine the sound echoed through the empty restaurant, making me want even more.

The familiar warmth of fiery pleasure was filling me up and I knew that soon I’d be lost in his arms, moaning and pleading for him to keep going. Those perfect waves of pleasure were just on the horizon.

“God, you feel good, Lena,” he moaned in my ear.

My fingers were in his hair as his hips continued to rock against mine, the rough fabric of his flannel shirt rubbing against my nipples. “Please don’t stop!”

He was more than happy to oblige to my pleads and continued to thrust into me. He stood up and grabbed my hips, tilting his head back and letting out, low, animal-like noises as his thrusts became quicker and more forceful.

His finger dug into my hips and it that subtle pain drove me over the edge. My orgasm crashed over me dragging me into a sea of pleasure. Stars exploded behind my eyes and I cried out his name, pleading him to keep going.

Jami’s hips slowed to a stop and he put his hands flat on the table, leaning over me, panting softly as he buried his face in my neck, laughing softly.

“Shit…That was...Incredible.”

I chuckled, trying to catch my breath as I held him close. “I do my best.”

He turned his head and kissed my cheek. “I missed you so bad. I missed that wit.”

“Well, you won’t have to miss it anymore.”

A long moment of silence passed between us and he wrapped his arms around me, leaning heavily against me. “You’re not going to leave, right?”

“I’m not going to leave.”

“Promise?” He asked, a nervous tension in his voice.

I leaned up just enough to press small kisses to the top of his head. “I promise.”

I’d never promised to stay anywhere for anyone, but I was willing to do it for Jami.

* * *

Jami

After that Everything was fine again. Lena forgave me and we hardly talked about what had happened. It’s wasn’t that we were ignoring it, but rather we didn’t need to talk about it anymore because it had been settled. Neither of us were worried about it anymore. We both knew where the other stood and slowly but surely we were coming to understand one another.

We’d been together officially for the last two months and I absolutely adored having her around. Lena was a free spirit and much more independent than the girls I was used to dealing with and I loved it. I wouldn’t have it any other way, if we’re being honest. She was so different and that’s what I adored about her. There had been so many other women before her, but none could hold a candle to her strength.

We were on the balcony of my penthouse (one of her favorite spots) and the New York skyline was stretched out before us, glittering with promise. She sipped at a glass of home brewed sweet tea and sighed as the warm, spring breeze rustled the trees below.

“This is perfect. Like…Am I dead? Is this heaven?”

I chuckled and glanced over at her, finishing my glass and setting it aside. “Last I checked, we were on the upper east side, but I think that’s about as close to heaven as most people get.”

“You can say that again.”

Lena put her head on my shoulder and glanced up at me. “I’m glad I met you, you know. You were a pain in my ass at first, but I’m glad I met you.”

I put my hand on the back of her head and leaned down to kiss her hair, taking in the subtle scent of cherry blossoms. She always smelled like cherry blossoms. “Me too, Lena. Me too.” Hell, I was pretty sure I loved her, but I could tell her that, not yet. It was still too soon.

She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted when her cell phone when off. She groaned and rolled her eyes a little, picking up and turning it over to read whatever was on the screen. She became flustered and turned it back over, setting it face down on the table.

“Who was that?”

“No one.”

“You can’t tell me that,” I grunted. “Your phone goes off like once a day, you get made and then you tell me it’s no one. I’m not trying to be an asshole, but I just don’t accept that it’s ‘no one’. You wouldn’t get so upset.”

Her lips pressed into a tight line. “Why are you pushing this?”

“Because I’m worried about you.”

“Well, there’s no reason to worry. It’s just some shit that I have to deal with.”

“But why deal with it alone if you don’t have to?”

“I just…This is my business alright?” She was getting flustered but I didn’t feel like it was the right choice to stop.

“I know it’s your business, but…I want to help.”

“There’s nothing to help.”

“Stop pushing me away.” I sat up and looked at her seriously, frowning deeply. “You made me come clean about my shit. I think it’s only fair that you do the same.”

She seemed annoyed that I’d called her out, but I wasn’t really worried about that. There was clearly something going on and I was going to get to the bottom of it. I wasn’t about to start my first real relationship in almost a decade with secrets.

“It’s my dad,” she murmured.

The answer surprised me. I had half been expecting an ex-lover. “Your dad?”

“Yeah. He wants me to come home. Mom is sick,” she muttered, clearly trying to tell me as little as possible.

Up until this point she had always been very open with me. She didn’t really seem to have any secrets, but now I could tell that there was something just under the surface that she’d been hiding. “You don’t want to go back home?”

Her eyes narrowed as she stared out into the blackness of the night sky and sighed softly, dropping her head and shaking it back and forth. “No. Not for anything.”

“Bad relationship with your parents?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

I sighed and leaned back a little, sipping on my tea. “You should go home.”

“What?”

“Even if you have a bad relationship with your parents, you should still go home. If something happens to your mom and you aren’t there…You’re going to regret it.”

“Don’t act like you know about my family life.” She was getting defensive now.

“I don’t know about your family life, but I know what it’s like to lose a parent and never patch things up. It fucking sucks.”

She relaxed a little and glanced over at me. “What do you mean?”

“I lost my dad when I was in my early 20’s. Me and him never got along. He wanted me to take over the family business back home in Georgia and I didn’t want any of it. We had this big falling out and that’s why I came to New York.” I finished off my tea and set it aside. “I didn’t talk to him for years. It wasn’t even that long, actually, but five years was enough. He got cancer and told mom not to tell me because I was making my way in New York. Even after all that shit, he wanted me to be successful and didn’t want to be a burden on me.” I shook my head slowly. “There’s nothing in this world I regret more than not patching things up with him, but if you would have asked me back then, I wouldn’t have ever gone back. It took him dying to make me realize all those fights were just…blips in our relationship. At the end of the day, he was still my dad and I still loved him.”

“This isn’t the same,” she whispered, looking away, her eyes fixed on the darkness in front of us.

“I’m sure it isn’t. Every situation is different, but what I’m saying is that you won’t ever forgive yourself. It doesn’t make whatever happened okay and in all honesty, you don’t even have to forgive what happened, but you do need closure. This isn’t for anyone but yourself. If you don’t settle this with yourself and with whoever you’re having issues with, you’ll never move on.”

She was silent for a long time, looking into her glass, her lips pressed into a tight line. I could tell she was thinking over what I’d just said and I didn’t want to push it. She had to come to this conclusion on her own and I knew that. I watched her carefully and when she finally sighed, she looked over at me, and intense sadness filling her beautiful eyes.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to go back there. I don’t know if I’m ready to face her. I don’t know if I’m ready to face everything,” she whispered, her voice tight and pained.

I paused before reaching over and putting my hand on her knee. I gave it a gentle squeeze and she looked up at me again. I couldn’t stand the pain on her face. I ran my hand through her head and leaned in, kissing her forehead.

“I know it’s scary. I’ve been in this position, but you don’t have to do it alone, Lena. You don’t have to do anything alone. Not anymore. I’m here for you.”

I felt a warm wetness on my hand and it took me a moment to realize she was crying. Lena was so damn strong and so brave that I never thought I’d see her crack. Crying didn’t mean she was weak, but she seemed too proud a person to let people see her cry. I hadn’t wanted to make her cry, but I knew this situation all too well and there were things I wished someone had told me. I was going to tell her all of them. I didn’t want her to live with the pain that I had lived with all these years.

She wiped at her eyes angrily and I just held her close, running my thumb over her cheeks, where the hot tears landed. She sniffled, her bottom lip trembling and her cheeks raw. She started to pull away but finally collapsed in my arms, all of her weight pressed against me. I held her up easily, stroking her hair and kissing the soft, black curls.

“Why are you doing this?” she whispered, her face buried in my chest.

My hand was resting on the back of her head, fingers tangled in her hair. The answer that came out was the truth, but it wasn’t the answer I’d been expecting.

“I’m doing it because I love you.”

She pulled away and just stared at me and I stared back at her. We were both equally shocked by the utterance and I already had a hand extended, ready to grab her wrist as she tried to bolt out of the apartment. I didn’t want her to leave. Not like this. Fuck. I needed to fix this and fast. I could see every muscle in her body poised and ready spring into action.

“Lena. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean— “

"What did you say?" Her words came out in a trembling voice.

Shit. She wasn't going to want anything to do with me now. She was standing there, staring at me wide eyed with a blank expression on her face, her fingers twitching at her side.

"Don't run, okay?" It was the first thing I could think to say. "I care about you." I was trying to back pedal, even if I knew there was no getting out of this.

"That’s not what you said."

I pressed my lips together and groaned, silently angry at my apparent inability to keep my mouth under control. "I said 'I love you', okay?" Why was she forcing this out of me? Couldn’t she tell I was embarrassed enough? Did she really need to rub it in?

Her face softened and she stepped forward, touching my hand. "Do you mean it?"

The question surprised me. My eyebrows shot up and I wrapped my hand around hers, my heart fluttering in my chest. I never wanted to let her go. "Of course I mean it. Why would I lie?"

She paused and shrugged. "It doesn’t make sense, but a lot of people lie, especially about love."

I paused and kissed the Back of her hand. "Well, I'm not lying. I was just afraid to tell you."

She pressed herself against my chest. Her warmth radiated through me and I felt the distinct sensation of being home.

"No one else had ever told me they loved me."

I kissed the top of her head and offered a gentle smile. "Glad I could be your first,” I said, trying to keep the mood light.

“This isn’t a joke,” she murmured, her face still buried in my chest.

I cleared my throat and nodded. “Right…Right. Sorry.”

Finally, after a long moment of stressful silence, she looked up at me and sighed. “I love you too.”

I could barely believe what I heard. I hadn’t expected her to return the sentiment. “What?”

“I love you too. Are you deaf?”

A stupid grin spread across my face and I scratched the back of my neck. “I just wasn’t expecting to hear it back.”

I sat on the loveseat that I’d bought after Lena started coming over more. It was the perfect size for the balcony. We eased into the soft cushions and I pulled her close as she tucked her legs underneath her body.

“Well, I do. I love you. I can’t really explain how or why, but you got under my skin and I can’t seem to get you out.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

She shook her head slowly and her fingers tangled in mine. “As long as I know you love me…I think I can do it.”

“Do what?”

She looked at me with a fierce determination. “Go home.”

I wasn’t going to argue. I wanted her to face these demons. I kissed her tenderly and said the only thing that made sense. “I’ll call my pilot and let him know we’re leaving in the morning.”

I didn’t know where we were going. All I knew was that I’d follow her to the ends of the earth.

* * *

Bellefontaine. We came over a small hill and I could see the quaint wooden sign that welcomed you to my home town. Just under the sign was a little counter that read ‘pop. 789’. It had grown since I’d last been here.

“This place is beautiful,” Jami mused, his eyes wondering the windshield of our rental car.

“It’s pretty to look at, but the charm wears off once you’ve been here a while.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah. Especially when all the old women start walking up and asking you why you aren’t married and asking if you’re sterile since you don’t have kids.”

“Ouch.”

“Small towns are great, until you have to actually live in one,” I sighed, turning to look out the window.

A cool breeze blew through the branches of the blooming trees. Green leaves formed around bright yellow and pink flowers. I’d missed the colors of spring, but not enough to come back. I wanted to handle my business and go back to New York as soon as possible.

We turned onto the dirt that my parent’s house was on and the second the soft earth crunched under the tires, I felt every muscle in my body tense up. I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t want this. Just as I was about to beg Jami to turn around, I felt a strong hand on my knee. I looked at him, my eyes wide as he squeezed my knee.

“It’s going to be okay. We’re going to get through this as quickly as possible.”

I nodded, even though I didn’t quite believe him. Things were never easy when it came to my mother and I couldn’t help but thing that her being on her deathbed wouldn’t change much. I leaned my forehead against the window, trying to control my breathing.

Soon the family farm came into view and I was gripping Jami’s hand. A tall, southern plantation home came into view. The walls were painted a bright sunny yellow, and the shutters were stark white. A swing hung from a tall willow just in the front yard.

A heavy-set woman with a full head of white hair and strong arms swept the porch and my heart stuttered. It had been years, but I knew the woman sweeping was my mother. She wiped her hands on her apron, frowning as the car pulled into the driveway. My mind was spinning, trying to comprehend what was going on. If my mother was so sick…Why was she sweeping the massive, wrap around porch.

The car came to a stop and Jami offered me a questioning look, but I didn’t have an answer. I kicked the door open and walked up the stone pathway, staring at my mother.

“Mom?”

Her cloudy eyes widened and the broom slipped from her fingers, clattering against the wood floor. “Lena?”

For a long moment, I didn’t move. I held still as if not moving would keep her from seeing me. My chest felt tight and the lump in my throat wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. A terrified noise tried to work its way past my lips, but I swallowed it down, looking down and away. I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t been expecting this.

“Lena? Is that you?” she whispered, picking up the hem of her modest skirt and walking down the moss covered stone pathway.

As she got closer, I took a small step away, but before I could get far, I hit the solid mass of Jami’s chest, suddenly finding myself pinned between my mother and the man I considered to be my boyfriend. It wasn’t really a place I ever wanted to find myself.

Jami’s hand wrapped around my wrist and gave it a gentle squeeze, trying to silently comfort me. My mother closed in and I felt my heart jump into my throat, closing my eyes and waiting for her hand to come down on my cheek. I was sure she’d be angry that I showed up out of the blue with a man I wasn’t married too.

Instead, her soft, warm arms wrapped around me and pulled me close, stroking my hair, a laugh bubbling up from her belly. “You’re here.”

“I…You’re happy to see me?”

She pulled away and pressed her hands to my cheeks, just looking me up and down for a long moment. “You’ve grown so much! Of-course I’m happy to see you. You’re my baby girl.”

Tears came to my eyes and I all but fell into her arms, leaning into her soft body. There was so much warmth and welcome in her embrace. “D-Daddy said you were sick.”

The floor of the porch creaked under someone’s foot and when I looked up, I saw my father standing at the top of the porch stairs, his hair grey and combed out of his face, a scruffy grey beard replacing the smooth shaved face I had in my mind’s eye.

He offered a nervous smile and shrugged a little. “Sorry, pudding.”

“What?”

He made his way down the stairs and came to stand beside me and my mother. He leaned heavily on a cane, but opened his free arm to me and I pressed myself against both my parents. They still smelled like fresh cut grass and a breeze before a rain storm. I’d missed this more than I’d realized or would have been willing to admit to anyone.

My father’s hand rested on the back of my head and I was suddenly taken back to the days I would spend in his lap while he read to me. “I’m sorry I lied, Lena, darling. I just knew it wasn’t going to be easy to get you back home. I was just so tired of our family being so fractured and so was your mother.”

I pulled back, my eyes wet and glassy with tears. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I pleaded, staring at my mother.

She cupped my cheek, her hands rough from the years she’d spent working our small farm. “I didn’t want to mess up your life. Your daddy would tell me about all the wonderful places you were going and the places you’d been. I didn’t want to tie you down. You were always such a free spirit and I kept you from that for so long…I didn’t want to keep you from what you loved.”

“You could have asked me to come home! I would have come home!”

Her smile was sad and she nodded slowly. “I know you would have. That’s why I didn’t say anything. I tried to crush that adventurous spirit of yours because I never wanted you to leave me and it took you leaving to show me that I was wrong.”

“Mama…”

“I’m sorry, Lena. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for all the fighting and I’m sorry I…”

I knew she was trying to apologize for the night she’d hit me, but she didn’t need to say anything. I’d already anything. I’d already forgiven her. I threw my arms around her and held her tight. “You don’t have to apologize, mama. I’m…I’m ready to put it behind us.”

We parted and she wiped tears from her eyes, laughing softly. Once she’d dabbed the tears from her eyes, she glanced towards Jami and cleared her throat. “Well, aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?”

I cleared my throat and took a step back, motioning towards Jami. That wasn’t good enough for him. He wrapped a strong arm around me and pulled me close, grinning. “The name is Jamison!”

“Jamison. A good strong name!” Papa said, reaching out to shake his hand.

I looked on as my boyfriend greeted each of my parents with a smile and my heart fluttered in my chest. Was this what contentedness felt like? I’d spent so much of my life being angry and bitter that I’d forgotten what it truly felt like to be happy. All that time I thought I was traveling the world and all I was doing was running away from things I didn’t want to face.

It had taken a playboy millionaire to make me happy and repair what I thought was an unfixable situation. I couldn’t have ever imagined myself being here, laughing with my parents and the man I loved. Nothing in the world could have convinced me that this was how this story would end, but I didn’t care.

This was my happily ever after.

* * *

Blueprints of Lust

Amanda Cochran had always been attracted to older men, but this was a secret that she was going to take to her grave. She’s never been one to fish in the company pond, but that becomes difficult when she meets August Rivers. Her designs have impressed him enough to offer her a ground floor opportunity. He wants to see what she can come up with to design a new building. It can’t be cookie cutter and has to showcase certain traits of the owner. They will have to work side by side after hours. Amanda will have to find a way to rebuff his advances without fallen victim to her own overanxious libido. August will see her as a challenge. He has never had any problem getting a woman and her disinterest will only fuel his desire even more.

* * *

I stood in front of my mirror looking at my curves. I knew that there were guys that would beg on bended knee to be with me. I was not immune to the lingering glances in my direction and I had on occasion purposely bent over to give them a thrill. I liked the attention and I wore clothing that was constricting and hard to breathe in. I wanted them to crave that one last look before disappearing from their lives forever. I didn’t consider myself a tease, but I suppose from their point of view it would appear that way.

“I would say that if you’re trying to make a good first impression that dress will do it. I just hope that you don’t need the Jaws of Life to get out of it at the end of the day. The heels are a nice touch. I’ve never been able to wear those. I feel like I’m going to fall over, but you handle it with grace.” Tina was that friend that always had something to say on everything. I could always count on her to be completely honest without sugar-coating anything. It was refreshing to know that she would not just tell me what I wanted to hear.

“I figure that it’s best to take advantage of what I have been blessed with. I used to think that it was a curse to have a little bit of extra coming and going. I see the advantages. I sometimes find that I want to run over to those skinny bitches and tell them to eat something. I eat right, but I will always have more than average. I am quite pleased that most of that extra weight landed on my breasts and my ass.” Tina was a slacker. She didn’t believe in a 9 to 5 job and always depended on those guys that were willing to pay her bills. She never promised them anything in return, but it was always an unwritten understanding.

I was 5’9, 170 pounds with a mixture of black and red in my hair. I made my own clothes. I’d always been a creative personality and that led to me sending in a couple of my building designs to a well-known architect.

August Rivers had actually taken an interest in me. To have him personally invite me to his office was unheard of. I had heard the rumors of the way that he treated the female staff under his watch. I didn’t think that I had much to worry about. Those photos of him out and about were with those girls that were airbrushed into the perfect specimens.

“If his tongue doesn’t fall to the floor, then he has to be gay. There are certain things that men have a hard time looking away from. You guarantee that you’ll have a line around the block to talk to you.” My type was an acquired taste but was becoming acceptable in this day and age. I only wished that this was the case in high school and college, but for the most part, I was that wallflower hanging back and looking in from the outside.

“I appreciate the effort to butter me up and make me feel more confident, but I’m already nervous as it is.” I grabbed my purple leather jacket and covered the black slinky dress with the accompanying white belt.

“I would wish you luck, but I don’t think that you need it.” Tina had her blond curls into pigtails giving her that innocent look. Those that knew her well enough would know that there was nothing innocent about her. She was my roommate, but she was always with a different man every week. I just couldn’t bring myself to being with a man for the fleeting chance of 5 minutes of pleasure.

“From your lips to god’s ears.” My mother had always told me that I was never going to amount to much and that really did do something to my self-esteem. It was bad enough that I was struggling with weight issues, but to have her constantly berate me made it necessary to leave her in the dust after graduation.

I hadn’t been home in over two years. My older sister Carol keeps trying to lure me back to the homestead for the holidays. I always come up with some lame excuse to get out of it. She was always that golden child that I couldn’t measure up to. There was no way that she knew how our mother treated me. I got the feeling from my mother’s disapproval that my pregnancy somehow ruined her life.

I got into my old grey and dismal Toyota and prayed that it would turn over. I waited and then I turned the ignition and heard the rumble of the engine come to life underneath me. I could smell the exhaust fumes coming through the floor. My inspection was coming up soon and I had a feeling that I was going to need a lot more than I had in my bank account to get this thing road worthy.

I put it into gear and it backfired making a young man in front of me crossing the street almost wet himself in fear that it was a drive by. Chicago did have its fair share of crime. There was no way that anybody could leave their doors open unless of course, you wanted your stuff to be pawned. I had a baseball bat by my bed and I knew had to swing for the fences.

I drove down the street at 9:00 AM on a Monday morning and I saw these people moving along like sheep and I realized that I was one of them. Bumper to bumper traffic was not uncommon for this time of day. I had to give Tina credit for being able to lounge in her pyjamas. I needed that security and I had been pounding the pavement to find my dream job for the past five years. It meant that I had to take on temporary jobs. I think that I let my mother’s words distract me and make me feel that I wasn’t worthy of anything good in my life.

I was never that adventurous in the bedroom. I had seen some things on the Internet that made me cringe to even contemplate doing them myself. Positions were relegated to the vanilla missionary on a bed. That was probably the reason why I could never keep a boyfriend for any longer than six months before he decided to pull the plug.

I arrived at the building and I was in awe. I stood there after paying for parking and looked up and marvelled at the intricate design that went into bringing something like this to life. August was known to think outside the box. It was the one thing that we had in common.

I had a black satchel over my shoulder and I reached in and pulled out the magazine with his photo on the front. He always dressed to impress wearing finely tailored suits that fit him like a glove. There was nothing that he could do to hide those muscles from bulging in all the right places. There were times when I used his image to satisfy my longings. I could only imagine what he looked like under the suit. He had the tendency to wear a power red tie.

I went into the building and it made me feel like a fish out of the water. My mouth was dry and I continually licked my lips. I signed in and I took the elevator up to the top floor. When the door opened, I was accosted by a black and white motif. It was a classic choice that had never gone out of style. The secretary behind the desk looked up with her glasses perched on the edge of her nose. She gave me that critical eye.

“I know that I’m a little early. I have a meeting with Mr. Rivers at 10:00 AM.” She didn’t say anything, but the placard on her desk referred to her as Miss Timmons. There was no first name and it gave me the impression that she was looking to be seen as professional and not some eye candy for the office. Her blond hair and store bought implants contradicted that statement.

“I’ll let him know that you are here. He’s finishing up with a client, but he shouldn’t be more than a few minutes. I’ll tell you a secret. He shared with me his thoughts and your designs have potential. That may not seem like high praise, but coming from him it is.” I sat down; demurely crossing my leg which of course made my dress ride up and give the illusion of more skin than was necessary. I had that nervous twitch and I could barely sit still. This was exactly where I wanted to be, but getting into the front door was only the first step.

“I wonder if you could tell me something about him before I go in there and make a fool out of myself. Anything at all would help. I’m sure that you’ve learned to predict what he is going to do next. You might even be on the same wavelength and finish each other’s thoughts like an old married couple.” It brought to mind my mother and this was no time to go down memory lane. I never did know my father and he abandoned us after my birth. It finally dawned on me that maybe my mother blamed me for him leaving and that was the reason why she felt it necessary to put me down.

“I would love to help you, but I’ve only been working here for the past month. I heard through the Grapevine that not many stay any longer than a few months in his employ. Women, in general, can’t stand his womanizing ways and the way that he looks at them in a less than subtle fashion.” She went back to her computer, not elaborating, but definitely giving me food for thought.

* * *

My patience was wearing thin. My appointment was for 10:00 AM and it was almost 10:45. I finally heard laughter coming from the open door down the hallway. I spied two men shaking hands. The man that August was meeting left the same way that I came in the elevator. When the door closed, that was when I saw the façade on August’s face change from mild amusement to outright contempt.

“I swear that man is going to be the death of me. He’s stuck in his ways and doesn’t wanna hear a differing opinion. I’ve tried for several years to design something that is going to change the way that he looks at architecture, but he doesn’t want to entertain the idea. I don’t even know why I’m telling you any of this. You do have a kind face and it’s easy to talk to you. Come with me. I know that I have been derelict in my duties. I didn’t mean to make you wait this long.” He was directing his comments towards me, but in a way, that made me feel like I was not even in the room.

I gave the secretary a noncommittal shrug off my shoulders and then I followed him like a panting puppy dog after its master.

I entered into his office and I was stunned by how he had decorated. His desk was pure white and the floors had this very colorful black tile that changed colors in the light. He was sitting there and he motioned for me to take the seat in front of him. It was obvious that he wanted to be in the dominating position. His chair was slightly higher than mine. This was a tried and true technique of intimidation.

I took my portfolio out of my bag and placed it in front of him. He didn’t seem all that interested, but he did peruse the pages until he finally sat back with his hands steepled in front of him.

His dark hair was cut short like that of the military and his gigantic frame really seemed out of place in that chair. It had that design meant to give the person sitting in it good posture. To me, it didn’t look at all comfortable, but he didn’t seem to be complaining. It was his eyes that were his best feature, but that changed when he stood up.

“I do like your designs, but they do need some polishing. I want you to help me to come up with something for him that is not of the norm. Call this a test to see if you are a good fit. I’ve been working 16 hour days and I find myself wanting to slow down a little. That’s the reason why I took interest in your designs when you sent them unsolicited. You were lucky that something caught my eye. I was this close to tossing them in the trash with the others.” I was trying to listen to him, but it was hard to do

He was on the edge of his desk with his crotch right in my face. There was no denying that this man had something that would scare little old ladies on the bus. He didn’t seem to have a shy bone in his body. That was evident by the way that he wasn’t wearing underwear. I wasn’t sure if that was for shock value or if he was just comfortable going commando. I thought that it was in poor taste, but it was not my place to say anything.

“I’m flattered that you even noticed my work. I would be glad to take a stab at helping you come up with something for the client.” I could feel that the temperature in the room had risen. His cologne was this manly musk that was hard to deny.

“I certainly didn’t bring you in here to stroke your ego. I’m still not entirely convinced that this is the right position for you. You’ll have to dedicate your time to working underneath me. I’m a bit of a slave driver and you’re going to have to learn to keep up with my stamina. I don’t see any reason why we can’t start tonight. You can come up with some preliminary drawings and I will take a look at them and see if I can salvage anything.” I felt that every word that came out of his mouth had this sexual innuendo. I wasn’t sure that it was my imagination, but I felt like he was putting me on the spot.

“Point me towards an open office and I will get to work.” I didn’t see any reason to waste either of our time. I was ready to roll up my sleeves.

“I would rather that you work here where I can keep an eye on you. I’m sure that you would be more comfortable with your own private space, but that is not how I work. I have this need that burns into my very soul. I want somebody to impress me. I’m not that easily satisfied and it can take a few times to get it right.” I wanted to call him on his use of his vocabulary. It sounded obscene, but there was nothing that I could pinpoint that I could take to human resources.

“You’re the boss. I’m only here to make you happy. I can take whatever your dish out.” I actually found myself playing his game. I saw him give me this cock of his eyebrow. I think that he purposely flexed his pectorals.

“I want you to be comfortable, but I do require that you call me Mr. Rivers. I find in the workplace that it’s better to be professional.” He had moved a little closer and he was only a few inches away from invading my personal space. His pectorals were not the only things that he was flexing. The laugh that ensued was his way of telling me that I was going to have to get used to it.

“Oh, my….is it hot in here, or is it just me?” I made a flirting gesture by fanning myself with my hand.

“Trust me…it’s just you.” He moved behind me and his hands barely touched my bare shoulders. “I’m going to have to go out for a little while. You have the office to yourself. If there is anything that you need then all you need to do is, ask. I won’t be here, but my secretary Miss Timmons will be happy to help you.” He grabbed his trench coat from the back of the door.

“The one thing that you’ll find with me is that I’m low maintenance. The only thing that I need is a caffeine fix with a pot of coffee right in front of me. If it’s possible, I would connect it right to my vein, but drinking it will have to suffice.” I was going to get up, but my legs were shaky and I was afraid that I was going to collapse right in front of him.

“Amanda, you’re certainly a woman after my own heart. I think that we will get along famously. You just need to remember that it’s my way or the highway. I like things done a certain way. You can even sit in my chair and feel what it is like to be in control. To be honest, I’m not much for pleasantries and I would rather just get to work.” He slipped out and left a lasting impression on me that had me feeling like my clothes were a little bit tighter than usual.

I hadn’t even taken off my jacket. He had moved it out of the way so that he could touch me inappropriately without making it look like any big deal. I could’ve said something and maybe I should have.

I surveyed the photos in his office. It showed a man that was into himself and liked to put on a show for the benefit of others. He was quite athletic and into various sports like tennis and soccer just to name two. I’d done my due diligence and I knew that his family life was non-existent. His father was not talking to him. Even though he was a success, his father just couldn’t get over the fact that he didn’t want to get into the family business of running a restaurant. Up close and personal, he really did look better in person than in any photo that I had seen of him thus far.

“I know that he can be a bit much to take, but he really is just a big teddy bear.” Big wasn’t the right adjective and when he walked into a room he owned it from the moment that he stepped through the threshold. “He asked me to look in on you. I brought you a pot of coffee.” Miss Timmons placed it in front of me and she was bent at an angle to give me a bird’s eye view of her heaving bosom.

I’d never been into girls, but she might’ve been the exception to that rule. I got the feeling that maybe her open sexuality was a selling point when she came to work for him. I wondered if things had moved forward into something more physical.

“He really didn’t give me that much time to talk. I do admire the man, but he really does have a big head.” I was talking about the one on his shoulders, but it was not lost on me that the helmet between his legs was in healthy proportion to the rest of the mountain of a man.

“He has never worked with anyone. This has always been a one-man show, except for those that he puts on retainer as contract players. Most find him difficult to work with. He doesn’t make it easy and his opinion is the only one that he listens to. If he gives you any praise, then I would take it in the spirit that it was given. I have to get back to my station.” Those that were on contract were brought in for a specific task and then given their walking papers after they were done.

It was an interesting way for him to do business without having to commit. It had to be his way of weeding out the undesirables. He did not have to worry about paying for a salary or benefits. These contracts would take a lump sum and a specified amount of time to get the job done. They would walk away to contend with another client.

It made me feel pretty damn good that he had singled me out. I did sit in his chair and I could smell him surrounding me like this sexual aphrodisiac that I couldn’t seem to get enough of. I had allowed things to give him the idea that I was open to something more than a collaboration of ideas. I was going to have to put a stop to that. It would only be asking for trouble to mix business with pleasure.

I went on the Internet and found out that the client’s name was Lionel Evans. He was a tycoon with billions to spend. August was also a billionaire. He had made his fortune playing the stock market. He could never get away from his true passion for designing something that was going to stand up to the test of time.

This was the kind of guy that could be on a tropical beach. There was no reason for him to work, but it was testament to his character that he still wanted to make his mark in the world.

I found inspiration from August’s designs over the years and I blended that with what I had learned about Mr. Evans. August was looking for something contemporary and Mr. Evans wanted that classical feel without the pomp and circumstance to go with it. It was quite the balancing act. I found myself literally flying by the seat of my pants.

* * *

I didn’t even realize how much time had elapsed until I looked up and found that the hallway outside the office was darkened. It made me feel like I was about to jump out of my skin. I thought for sure that he was going to come back, but it was well after 8:00 PM and time to clock out.

I got up, straightened up the mess that I had made and filed my drafts on top of his inbox. It was a productive first day and I was looking forward to tackling it once again tomorrow.

I had my hand on the doorknob and he came in and pushed me back out of the way. It was kind of rude and I could smell the liquor on his breath. He spun me around, making me dizzy and having the effect of making my dress swirl around me to reveal my Victoria secret panties.

“Forgive me, but I got caught up in wooing the client at a local strip club. Those girls can really put on a show. I bet you would look great flaunting your stuff and giving the guys something to think about. Show me a few moves and pretend that there is music playing.” He was obnoxious, macho and a bit sexist. I didn’t feel like playing his game and there was no way that I was going to dance for him.

“You’re drunk and you need to sleep it off before you do something that you’re going to regret.” He ruffled my dress and his fingers grazed my inner thighs which had always been my Achilles’ heel. “You need to stop this. I’m not some kind of plaything for your amusement. Other girls might enjoy this kind of sparring, but I’m not one of them. Keep it in your pants and we’ll get along just fine.” I knew that the words did not match the way that I was feeling deep down. I wanted him to take me, but to give him that satisfaction would only open that Pandora’s Box.

“You…can’t fool me. You like the way that I touch you and you want what you have been looking at from that moment that you sat down.” He palmed his privates, giving them a healthy tug with my eyes gravitating towards the outline of it.

“I don’t have to take this fresh stuff. If you can’t take this seriously, then maybe this isn’t going to work between us.” I tried to sidestep him, but he had his hands on my hips and was keeping me from leaving in a huff. “This is no way to treat a colleague.” I vainly slapped at his chest, feeling the granite surface and knowing that seeing him naked wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“I think that you might be protesting a little bit too much and it’s getting on my last nerve. Let your hair down and enjoy yourself. We only have this one life to live and we can’t just be all about the business.” His words were slurred and the liquor of choice was something that I was quite familiar with. My mother was happy all the time, but it was with a bit of help from several glasses of wine. It would appear that August and my mother would have made great drinking buddies.

“I don’t need liquor to have a good time. I hope that you remember this in the morning. Overindulging is only going to leave you with a headache to beat the band. I’m going to give you something, but it’s against my better judgment. This is my own remedy. After you drink it, you’ll feel like hell, but then that will pass quickly enough. Take my word or not and I really don’t care.” I wrote it down with him behind me breathing on my neck. I turned quickly to see that his hands were poised to cup my ample posterior.

I grabbed his hand and I placed the piece of paper in between his fingers. He could’ve easily had his way with me and those hands really did dwarf my tiny little digits. I had always been the bigger of my dates, but that was not the case with August. He had to weigh in at over 200 plus pounds of solid muscle. I didn’t think that there was an ounce of fat on his body. Whatever regiment that he had put himself through had the desired results.

“I want you and I’m going to have you. It would be better that you just give in now. If you leave here without doing something about this heat between us, then you’re going to end up having one very restless night. You’ll toss and turn and you’ll have only yourself to blame. Grab onto a little bit of happiness.” The happiness that he was referring to was the stick of dynamite that was quite pronounced and looking ready to burst through his pants.

I still had his hand in mine and then he lowered it and placed it against the lump of his arousal. I gasped thinking that this was unbecoming of a professional relationship, but not able to tear myself away from the thumping presence. It had a life of its own and a pulsing rhythm that had me squeezing it.

“I… I…can’t do this. It will ruin what we already have. I’ve seen too many people go down this road and the awkwardness after it all falls apart leads to one of them having to quit. I won’t risk… I won’t… I have to leave and you haven’t heard the last of this.” I used whatever resolve that I had left to push him back away from me. He looked a little stunned by my behavior and tried to pursue but got the slam of the door in his face.

I saw through the window that he had gone to his desk and had gotten a bit of the hair of the dog. I didn’t know that he had liquid refreshment in his desk. The way that he slugged the bottle back made him look like a caveman. I could almost imagine the way that he would rip off my clothes, strip me of my defences and leave me vulnerable to his manly persuasion.

I breathed deeply, feeling my heart beating in my chest and knowing that I was one move from turning and going headlong into a disaster of a decision. It took all of my willpower to press that elevator button.

I heard the clanging of the bottle and I turned to see that he was standing there swaying on his 2 feet and looking me up and down like I was a delectable dessert.

“You have one chance to make it right. Come back here and let me put my hands on that beautiful big body of yours. I don’t think that I’ve ever had someone like you and that is a cherry that I want to break. Your lips say no, but your body is screaming yes. You’re thinking about it too much and that’s precisely the reason why you are alone.” His words stung and there was some truth behind them.

I found my anger rising and I walked with defiance over to him before I started to point and poke at his chest. “How dare you say something like that to me without knowing me at all? I’ll have you know that I’m a warm and wonderful person. You would be lucky to be with me. I have a passion that cannot be measured, but you’re never going to find out.” I could still smell the combination of liquor and his cologne. I wanted to kiss those lips and let him manhandle me into submission, but that would only be feeding into his ego.

“I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m usually a pretty good judge of character.” He looked like I had slapped him across the face and metaphorically speaking; I suppose that was exactly what I did with my verbal abuse.

“I have a lot to give to the right man and you’re not him. You’re callous and you don’t care about anybody else’s feelings but your own. It’s no wonder that you like to work alone because nobody else can satisfy your high expectations. I’m going to forget that this even happened and I suggest that you do the same. Tomorrow, we start over with a clean slate and none of this ugliness to get between us. I still think that we can make something spectacular. Don’t mention this and you can bet that I’m not going to.” I had said my piece with my clothes sticking to me like a second skin.

“I might have gone a little overboard, but you can’t blame me. You come in looking like that, wearing a dress that leaves little to the imagination and you expect me not to do anything about it. You are either delusional, or you really don’t know the kind of power that you have over a man. I think that it might be time to teach you a lesson. Teasing and showing what you have is only going to get you into trouble. I don’t think that you have truly lived a moment in your life and that’s a crying shame. I want to rectify that. I wonder how long you’re going to last before you realize that you are on the losing end of this battle.” He had unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his white starched shirt.

“I think that you’ll find that this attraction that you feel is one-sided. I could never be with anybody that thought that they were god’s gift to women. It would be in your best interest not to push this any further.” I was afraid and intoxicated by the very idea of being taken control of. No man had ever been able to handle me like that, but this guy might be able to do what others couldn’t do.

“This game of playing hard to get is going to get old quickly. You’re fighting me when we should be going at it like wild dogs.” He stumbled and fell to his knees still holding onto the bottle like it was a lifeline. It could mean that he had a problem. The signs were all there including the bottle in his desk.

“That is no way to talk to me. I’m tired and I don’t need this. Don’t even think that I’m going to be party to sexual harassment.” I had to get some distance. I was showing that I would not take this kind of behavior from anyone. I wanted him to believe that, but deep down I wanted him to put his hands on me.

It had been almost a year since I’d been intimate with anyone. That relationship fizzled from my lack of interest. He wanted to introduce toys and even another woman, but I wasn’t ready to jump in feet first. I was happy to dip my toe in by changing positions, but his constant demands had made me run for the hills.

“I don’t see a lady. I see a sexually available woman that is letting an opportunity slip through her fingers. It’s a mistake and one that you’re going to realize sooner than later.” He slumped back against the wall with his head falling forward and his eyes closing. He was soon breathing heavy with his chest rising and falling with each labored breath.

I could have made him an example. The very thought of stripping him naked and taking his clothes did put a smile on my face. This was no way to start our business partnership. I’m sure that he thought that I was just hired help, but I wanted to become the Ying to his Yang.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the door to the elevator closed. I had to lean back against the glass wall. I felt the cool surface through my clothes and it brought down the fire that had become more than a blaze. I didn’t need this hassle. This was not what I considered a healthy work environment. The only thing that I could hope was that this was a momentary lack of judgment on his part. I would find out in the morning one way or the other.

I wasn’t sure how much more that I could take. It was only lucky that he didn’t see any crack in my demeanor. He was not the type of man that was ready for a commitment. He would have his way and then he would toss me to the curb like yesterday’s garbage. I’m sure that other girls had already felt his abuse of power. Those that had any self-respect would have walked away, but there would have been some that felt that the only way to get ahead was to climb the ladder of success by using their bodies.

* * *

I’d spent all night thinking about what had happened and it wasn’t fair. Just because he was the boss, he thought that he could have any woman wrapped around his little finger. He was going to learn the hard way that my affections were not easy to come by. I wanted a man to treat me right, give me his undivided attention and not just want one thing.

I had my heart in my throat, thinking that I was going to get my walking papers by the time that I stepped out of the elevator. He didn’t get what he wanted and that was more than enough grounds to end this probationary period.

I found Miss Timmons wringing her hands and looking a little dishevelled. “I haven’t seen him like this. He’s on a tirade and he’s looking for somebody to fight with. Tread carefully. He’s lucky that I have a thick skin.” I walked down the hallway, careful not to make too much noise and knowing that what he was going through was something that I’d only experienced once.

Tina managed to drag me to a frat party and I ended up lying on the grass wearing no panties. It was not like me. To this day, I still didn’t know which of the frat boys had my panties as a souvenir. I knew that nothing happened, but losing them was degrading. It made me feel like people were looking at me differently in the morning.

That was the one and only time that I had taken things too far. I was conscious of every drink that I had in a bar from that moment on. I could still get that buzz, but there was no way that I was going to become that fall down drunk that didn’t know what they did.

I opened the door slowly, gritting my teeth together to give the illusion that I was trying to be as quiet as a mouse.

He was sitting behind his desk with his hand on his forehead. “I don’t want to hear it. I can’t even remember how I got here. I woke up sleeping outside my office. The last thing I do remember is some scantily clad stripper giving me a private lap dance. I don’t even know if I should call the client and apologize for my behavior. You would think that I would know better.” He was kicking himself, but I did notice that he had not mentioned the way that he had acted with me.

“You might want to consider staying off the hard stuff for a while. It’s one thing to indulge on the weekend where you can live with that pain the next day, but it’s another when you have to come into the office. I doubt that you’ve had time to go over the drafts that I made. They are not the finished product, but they will give you a basic idea of where I’m going with it.” He hadn’t even looked at me. His hand was covering his face. There was a glass of water on his desk with what looked like two aspirins.

“I always do this to make the client more comfortable. One drink turns into two and then we are acting like teenagers by throwing cash on the stage. I’m getting too old for this. Do you know that back in the day I could drink anybody under the table and still make the deal? I might be getting a little older, but I thought that I was a bit wiser. Last night was a misstep and I can only hope that I didn’t say or do anything that is going to come back and haunt me.” Come to think of it, I could have thrown this back in his face by recording what he said to me on my phone.

In this age of technology, it was a wonder that anybody was able to get away with anything without having it show up on the Internet. Robbing banks and doing insane things like putting a pool ball into your mouth could be caught for posterity.

“The way that you are doing things is not healthy. You want your client to change his way of thinking, but you still do the same things to seal the deal. Do you not see how hypocritical that is?” I had no interest in mentioning the way that he had treated me like I was a piece of meat. I’d given it a lot of thought and I was quite glad to see that his recollection was spotty at best.

“I get the feeling that we saw each other last night. Did you step over me on the way out of the office? This is mortifying. I feel so embarrassed. I want to crawl into a hole and die.” I could’ve told him the truth, but he already felt bad enough as it is.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You must have stumbled in after I left.” I stood at the desk, looking down at him and seeing that he had a piece of paper clutched in his fist. It brought to mind the remedy for a hangover that I had scribbled down quickly to alleviate him of the pain that he was going to feel this morning.

“I guess that is a saving grace. I just want to go on the record to say that I’m not like this. I do have a tendency to run my mouth when I get drinking. Some have mentioned that what I say during those drunken moments is the hidden truth. I don’t know if I see it that way. I barely remember my name after going on a binge like this.” His hand opened up and the crumpled piece of paper fell to the floor at his feet.

“Everybody does stupid things once or twice in their lives. I’m sure that there are people that you’re going to need to apologize to. You’ll recognize them by the way that they shake their head in disbelief that you could say something so disparaging.” I was hoping that I wasn’t the only one that had found themselves on the receiving end of his forked tongue.

“I had one such conversation with a female officer this morning. She said that I was trying to paw her last night. I apologized profusely and she agreed not to press charges. I do believe that I just dodged a bullet. It would do very little for my reputation for it to get around that I was sleeping one off in the tank. It would be worse yet if I were to be charged with some kind of misdemeanor.” The police officer should have thrown the book at him. The only way that he was going to learn was to hit rock bottom.

“Let this be a lesson.” He looked up and there was that sort of hazy recognition that made me afraid that he was going to remember the way that he told me that I needed to learn a lesson. “You’re not in your twenties anymore.” It was harsh and being in my twenties, I really had no reference, except for that one drunken moment that I wanted to forget about.

“Are you sure that we didn’t see each other last night. I get the feeling like I should be apologizing for something that I don’t know anything about. You can be straight with me and maybe a cold dose of reality is exactly what I need to kick me in the pants.” I thought that maybe that was giving me the opening to show him that his actions had consequences.

“I… I’m sure that I would remember something like that.” I was this close to throwing it in his face, but I didn’t feel that I would’ve been doing him any favors. He already knew that his actions were deplorable.

“The only thing that I ask is that you keep it down to a dull roar. I’m not even sure how I’m going to concentrate. I only wish that there was some kind of remedy.” I could’ve easily picked up the paper and gave him some peace. I didn’t do that because I thought that he deserved to feel miserable for as long as possible.

It served him right for making me look at myself in the mirror differently in the morning. He wasn’t wrong and I did somewhat regret not taking him up on his offer. I was just lucky that he didn’t remember. I wasn’t going to have to play the innocent victim.

“I’m sure that I can keep things quiet.” I purposely moved the chair across the floor making it squeak like fingernails down a chalkboard. His fingernails gripped the edge of his desk and he snapped his head forward with a look of shock on his face. “I’m sorry about that. What was I thinking?” I was laughing inside, knowing that I was causing him pain and feeling that I was justified from the way that he tried to make be one of his conquests.

“This whole thing could have been avoided had I just met the client here at the office. I always tend to think that getting them away from the stuffy day to day stress is a good idea. I don’t know how many times that I’ve gotten a call in the morning from some irate wife ready to take a switch off of me. I don’t play nice and sometimes playing dirty is the better way to go. I don’t use vinegar. The honey trap of those girls’ obvious attributes gets them more in the mood to talk about business.” I could see that men would feel almost at home around naked women. That was what I considered a man’s club. A woman could not break that glass ceiling the same way.

“You might be starting to realize that there is a better way. I don’t want to beat this to death. I would like to know your opinion of my work. Not to be modest, but I do find that it’s some of my best stuff.” I was putting that bug in his ear and maybe that would manipulate him psychologically to like it before he even saw it.

“I’ve been meaning to get to it, but you can imagine that it has been a slow morning. I might even take the afternoon off. You and Miss Timmons can look after things without me.” He looked around and then I helped him by placing the file in front of him.

This morning, I was not wearing the same dress. I had on a pair of dark slacks and a heavy blue sweater to keep him from getting ideas. It didn’t exactly hide my endowment. I didn’t think anything could. I was all natural with no sag and looking like a wet dream come true.

August was not as polished, his sleeves rolled up with his eyes bloodshot. His hair was out of place. It made me look at him as more human and not that unattainable fruit at the top of the tree. I liked the way that he could show his vulnerable side.

“I can leave and give you some time to go over it in private.” I did make a move to leave, but I was only going to do so at his request. There was no way that I was going to make this easier on him by vacating the premises.

I took my place in the chair in front of the desk. I picked up my pen and I began to tap it ever so slightly against the surface of his desk. Each time that I made that impact, his eyes would shoot wide open and his back would straighten like somebody was screaming in his ear.

He dropped the papers unceremoniously and placed his hands-on top of one another. He gave me the look that a principal gives a student after they are brought to their office.

“I’m sure that it’s not intentional, but could you stop doing that.” I feigned surprise by dropping it and making him put his hands up to his face. “I need absolute silence.” I put my finger and my thumb together and used it to indicate that I was going to zip my lip.

I was having fun at his expense. I did on some level hate the idea that he didn’t remember. He had made me feel desirable. All the way home, I felt this newfound confidence. I was always self-conscious about my big thighs, but he had made me feel good about myself.

* * *

We very carefully went through my drawings. He had some good points to make. It was a little surprising considering that he wasn’t working on all cylinders. I found his insight to be an eye-opening experience.

“For a first draft, I would say that you more than lived up to your previous creations. We really do work well together and maybe we can get a drink after work.” I wasn’t sure what to say, but it seemed rude not to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Are you sure that it’s a good idea to drink after what you have been through? It would be better that we have dinner together. I know of a nice Italian place down the street that has the best ravioli that money can buy.” If I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn that he had tricked me into asking him out and not the other way around. “I think that we can get a lot more work done on a full stomach. We might even come up with some kind of brainstorm at the table.” I had turned the tables and made it into a work thing.

“You do know how to get to a man’s heart through his stomach. I love Italian and I make my own spaghetti sauce. Don’t let this get around, but I like to dabble from time to time in the kitchen. I get back to my Italian roots. My grandfather gave me the benefit of his expertise. He told me that a man wasn’t a man unless he could cook for his woman. I have used his recipes to get any woman that I fancied to drop their guard.” I did see the reason why some women would find his cooking to be the catalyst to them dropping their underwear on his floor.

“Let’s make that our reward for all the hard work that we are putting into this. I know that you not feeling well, but I really do need your input. I can’t possibly do this alone. I would like to say that I would be able to take on that kind of responsibility, but I don’t know if I have the confidence.” I found the way that he was looking at me a little like I was being put under the microscope. It was almost like he had something on the tip of his tongue.

“That is a wonderful idea, Amanda. I’m already salivating. I know exactly what you’re talking about when you mentioned their ravioli. I admit that it’s one of my guilty pleasures. I don’t know how we haven’t run into each other. I would have remembered you. You are a hard woman to forget.” He sounded sincere, but his body was telling an entirely different tale. Even in his condition, he was still able to rise to the occasion like an unfurled flag inside his pants.

“I only go there for takeout. I’m not that comfortable with eating alone in a restaurant with everybody staring at me. It’s not much better when I sit in front of my television. The only thing that makes it bearable is that I don’t have to contend with the looks of pity.” He was going over the details and this time I was the one that was looking over his shoulder.

We were deep into it and not even the thoughts of impropriety were keeping me from coming up with some ingenious designs. I felt like we really did play off of each other well. If he wasn’t such an ass, then maybe I would have considered a long-term engagement with him.

It was almost quitting time and I did see that he was still dealing with the remnants of the hangover that he had gotten last night. I found myself showing him some mercy by using my thumbs and my fingers to massage some of that tension out of his shoulders. It was not meant to be sexual.

“I’ve no idea when was the last time that somebody gave me a massage. You do have magic fingers. I really don’t know what came over me last night.”

I felt like I was living in two pairs of shoes. The one that I was wearing currently was that of a professional young woman on the cusp of finding her passion. The one that I was afraid of falling into was those 4-inch pumps that accentuated my legs and made me feel ready to give him more than lip service.

“I thought that you needed this.” I actually enjoyed touching him.

My nipples were rubbing up against him. I wanted to give them the attention that they deserved, but I that would only be sending up the smoke signals from between my thighs.

“We have done more than enough. Amanda. Let’s treat ourselves to an Italian dinner on me. I can always claim it as a business supper. We can always come back and pick up where we left off.” His hands were touching mine and I didn’t know what to do. I played it off, going to get my coat and then opening up the door in a reversal of the gentleman role.

“I’m famished and I took the liberty of calling ahead to have our order placed. It should be ready by the time that we arrive. As you know, it is in walking distance and they have a table set up for us in the back.” He followed from behind and my attention to detail wasn’t necessarily limited to what was on my drawings.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” There was nothing that I could say to that.

There was a chill in the air and I pulled my coat closer to my chest. He walked at a good clip, this time opening the door to the restaurant for me and then guiding me to the table in the back. We barely sat down when he ordered a bottle of champagne and had it chilled in a bucket.

“I thought that we decided that we weren’t going to have anything to drink.” I didn’t want a repeat performance of last night, although I really couldn’t get the feel of his hands off of my mind.

“I don’t see any harm in a little bit of the bubbly.” He popped the cork with a flourish, and then poured me half a glass with the foam reaching the top.

“I don’t mind, but I really don’t think that you want to go down that road again. I’m not your mother. I’m not going to tell you what to do. It’s your life.” I took a sip, feeling that it was tickling my nose and then I set it back down to watch for his reaction. I saw the hesitation in his eyes and he overcame that by downing that one glass in one swallow.

“I have heard that some people think that I have a problem, but I only drink during social occasions. It’s not like I have a trash bag full of empty bottles back home. I don’t mean to raise my voice, but I’m getting a little sick and tired of people trying to police my life.” I could understand where he was coming from and maybe we could build on those things that we had in common.

I had no interest in getting into a relationship. It was a dangerous play and one that was ripe with the kind of sexual tension that you could cut with a knife. He was not fooling me. There was that evil twinkle in his eye. It didn’t hurt that he proved my point by moving his sock covered foot up along my leg. It would have had more impact had I been wearing a skirt.

“I don’t think that it’s right for us to consider something more than a professional working relationship. It might be fun for a moment, but then things are ultimately going to turn awkward in the workplace. I enjoy working with you and I don’t want to do anything to upset that delicate balance.” I was letting him down gently. I was close to screaming and grabbing him by the collar, but I refrained myself from doing that.

“I speak from personal experience when I say that it would be a whole lot of fun. I don’t mean to brag, but I am pretty damn good. You can believe me or not. The only way that you’re going to find out is to put me to the test. We can start simple enough.” His leg had not stopped that constant movement of rubbing like a cricket against my own. He was getting very close to rubbing me in a way that was going to have me moaning in the kind of pleasure that I hadn’t had in quite some time.

I grabbed his foot and I twisted it in such a way that he grimaced in the kind of pain that I was hoping for. It would’ve been so much more gratifying to kick him between the uprights. That was the only language that a man understood when they were getting too hot to handle.

“I get the message. You can’t blame a guy for trying. It would’ve been interesting to mix a little bit of business with pleasure. I would have loved to chase you around the office barely dressed.” The food arrived and the aroma drew me to it like a moth to a flame. One bite and I was transported back to Italy.

I had gone there on a summer vacation courtesy of my mother meeting an Italian stallion that wanted to give her little girls a reason to like him. He was the only one of my mother’s suitors that took any interest in either me or Carol. I had a small crush on Antonio. He looked damn good out of his shirt. I was pretty impressionable at the ripe age of 16 with my hormones out of control. I’d actually spied my mother and him in a not so innocent embrace. It sickened me to my very core.

“I can see the appeal, but I’m really not in a good place. I just got out of a very long-term engagement. It left me broken into a million pieces and my heart can’t take anything more. I only wish that I was the type of girl that was willing to have sex just for the pleasure. I could seriously see myself doing unspeakable things to you. I could leave you spent, unable to say anything and have you wanting to come back for more. I really am insatiable and that can be pretty daunting to any man. You should count yourself lucky that you’re not one of my hit and run victims.” I was playing a part, completely lying through my teeth, but loving the way that he was on the edge of his seat.

“That makes me more than curious. You really do paint a vivid picture. Are you sure that there’s nothing that I can do to convince you to change your mind?” It was nice of him to ask than to assume that he could put his hands where they didn’t belong. It was a nice change of pace from the way that he acted last night.

“I’m afraid that you’re going to have to use your imagination. I can’t stop you from doing that, but I can put a stop to any idea that we can be more than work colleagues. I know that I’m probably going to regret this. You certainly do have everything going for you. I’m just not ready and I hope that you will respect my decision. I have a tendency to fall easily. I would probably become a vindictive stalker that would never leave you alone. Trust me; I’m doing you a favor by not subjecting you to that.” The lies were piling on top of one another. It was getting easier with each word that came out of my mouth.

“I appreciate the candor, but that doesn’t stop me from wondering. You might find me a little distracted at the office. I would give anything to be that sweater that you’re wearing. To feel the cushiony softness of your breasts would make me die a happy man.” His words conveyed his lust. I brought that on myself.

“You know what they say about curiosity killing the cat. If you were to spend 1 hour with me underneath the sheets, you would find out for yourself. You can’t handle a woman like me and why you insist on thinking that you can is only making you look foolish.” I had pulled out all the stops. He was staring at me, most likely thinking with the head on his shoulders and not the one between his legs.

“I’m glad that we talked about this beforehand. Giving it a little bit more thought, I don’t think that it would be a good idea to change the dynamic of our relationship. I want us to be able to work together without feeling that there has to be more to it than that.” As a man of his word, he did pay the bill and then we separated at the door with him walking back to the office and me taking a taxi back home.

* * *

It was another one of those nights where I had nobody on that cold side of the bed. It was made even worse because the heat had gone out in the building. I had no idea where Tina was, but I had a feeling that she wasn’t lacking male companionship.

I woke up several times shivering like mad and going to the closet to grab yet another blanket. By the time that the sun had risen, I had five blankets on top of me and feeling like a bear that was ready to hibernate for the winter.

I got up, running in a mad dash for the shower to take that chill out of my bones. The hot water only lasted for about 20 minutes, but without Tina being in the apartment with me, I was able to squeeze every little bit out of it.

As I threw my clothes on the bed, I thought about being that same chaste young woman, but I didn’t want him to have that kind of power over me. I decided on a peasant blouse and a snug black leather skirt with that zipper down the back. I wore something special underneath, just on the off chance that I could catch his wandering eye. I didn’t want to push the envelope, but I found it necessary to entice him without giving away the milk for free.

The purple leather jacket really was the only thing in my closet that was made just for me. Everything else had to be altered in some way. I’d made my own clothes because I liked it, but it was also out of necessity. There was one place that catered to women of my considerable size, but I didn’t feel right about stepping into those doors.

I went back into the office and this time it was nothing but business. He wasn’t putting me in a difficult position by making me feel uncomfortable in the very least. To be honest, I was feeling a little neglected. I might have done something that I couldn’t take back.

“I hope you know that you have real talent. I’m not just saying that and I mean every word from the bottom of my heart. I’m thinking about bringing on somebody full time and you might be the one that can fill the position. We’ll have to come to terms, but I don’t see that being difficult under the circumstances. I can be very accommodating, but you haven’t even expressed interest in staying here. Is this something that you would be ready to take on? I know that some freelancers like their independence and I can perfectly understand that. It’s just that I don’t think that I’ve ever had anybody working with me like a well-oiled machine. I’m reluctant to give that up. The one sticking point is if the client is going to like what we came up with.” He wasn’t trying to look down my blouse and I found that bending over didn’t make him that drooling dog.

“I sent you my designs because I wanted your honest opinion. I was not fishing for a job, but now that you have broached the topic, I might be convinced. I do like working with you, August. I don’t think that I told you that you were my inspiration for getting into this profession. Everybody has their heroes and the one that shapes them into who they are today. You were that for me.” I didn’t want to give him a swelled head to go with the one that was never going to take no for an answer.

The only way that I was going to dissuade that part of him was to dump a glass of chilled water into his lap. It was a known fact that shrinkage was something that a man deals with when they go swimming. I could’ve done that, but I took it as a compliment.

“I’ll be happy to draw up some papers, but not until after we meet with the client.” August was hedging his bets and hoping that I was the golden ticket. I wasn’t sure how he could put that much faith in me. I wanted him to be proud and for some reason, his admiration of my work was something that I coveted.

“I understand. I think that we have hit this one out of the park, but we really won’t know until we hear it from the client. I just want to go on the record to say that I appreciate that you have refrained from putting the moves on me. I think that it was for the best and that is not a road that I’m willing to travel. I didn’t mean to scare you, but I wanted you to know what you were getting yourself into,” My lie had worked way too well and his interest in me had waned a little bit too much.

“I have to say that I was a little taken back. I don’t usually have any problems getting a girl to sleep with me. Rejection is for other guys and maybe I did need a cold dose of reality. I can’t always assume that every woman wants to sleep with me. That makes me sound a little egocentric. You were the first that ever-said no. It sometimes comes down to timing. You did say that you were interested, but you just got out of a long-term relationship. I’m not sure that I believe you and it really doesn’t matter. I find our working relationship not worth losing.” August had a way with words.

At the end of the day, we left to prepare separately for the meeting with the client in the morning. I came to him for that experience that I was lacking. Sending those blueprints was my way of self-destructing. I really didn’t expect him to answer back, let alone invite me to work alongside him. I thought that his rejection would be the final straw to make me forsake my dream from coming true. It had turned out better than expected and the way that he looked over my curves had me wishing that I didn’t throw cold water on his parade.

“I’m going to go home, put on some soft jazz and have a bubble bath. I would offer for you to come join me, but I think that we have already beaten that horse to death. I’m sure that you have your own ritual before a big meeting.” I was trying to open that window, but I was not willing to open up the door wide enough for him to think that he had a chance.

“Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson and you won’t have to worry about me putting the moves on you ever again. I look back at all those times that I treated women with disrespect and I want to call each and every one of them and tell them how sorry I am. Tonight is the first night that I’m going to go home and sleep alone. I don’t know what I was so afraid of and maybe the idea of growing old alone makes me reach out for any kind of cold comfort in the middle of the night.” I didn’t know that he had those kinds of insecurities. I’d always taken him for somebody that was strong and confident not having any idea that he was suffering some of the same things that I did.

“There’s no reason for you to be alone. Change your ways and let the women in your life see the chink in your armor. I’m going to tell you a secret about women. We do want strength, but we also want our man to have the ability to cry. We want them to show their softer side. Try being honest and you’ll be surprised by the results.” I had no idea why I was telling him any of this, except to say that I was feeling sorry for him.

“It’s a novel idea, Amanda and I might just take your unsolicited advice like I did with your designs. Look at how good that turned out. I’m usually an army of one, but having you to back me up has allowed me to live a little. Now that you mention it, there is something that I should do while it’s still fresh in my mind.” He moved the hair away from my eyes. I thought for sure that he was going to kiss me. He did, but it was more of a peck on the cheek. He didn’t need to know that I almost moved to intercept him with my mouth.

“The one thing that you need to know about women is that they don’t like playing games. Say it like it is, tell them what you really want and let them decide if what you are offering is good enough. Women want a man that is going to be there for them. It’s that cold spot on the bed that draws a woman to the bar at odd hours of the night. They find that unsuspecting victim and they think that they have to settle.” I was giving him way too much insight into the female mind, but I felt that he could benefit from my lessons.

“It is nice to hear the other side for a change. A man’s point of view only gets me so far. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Amanda and I really don’t know how to thank you. Let’s get some sleep and we’ll meet in the office at 7:00 AM to go over the details of those designs. Lionel is not going to know what hit him. I just hope that he’s open to new ideas. He already told me what he wants and it’s the same thing every time. If he wasn’t paying an exorbitant amount of cash, I wouldn’t even consider debasing myself like that.” He walked towards his Lexus, a silver extension of his anatomy and it gave me the impression that he was making up for some kind of shortcoming.

I knew that it wasn’t what most women would think it was. He was not lacking in that department. I had no first-hand knowledge other than the way that he put it out there for everyone to see. That was not a rolled-up pair of socks. That was the real thing and I had pushed him away because he was too forceful in his approach.

I felt like kicking myself. I wanted to believe that leopards could change their spots, but my personal experience told me otherwise. Men would say that they wanted to change, but they would always fall back on old habits. I didn’t want to nag him into being something that he wasn’t. It was better that we cut things off before it got any messier.

* * *

I was up all night going over those designs and putting the finishing touches on them. I tried to call him excited and wanting to share it with him, but the only thing that I got in response was his voice message service. I told him that it was no big deal and that I would see him in the morning. I was kinda hoping that he would reach out even if I was snuggled tight into my bed.

I finally got to sleep around 4:00 AM and that left me with 3 hours to dream about the possibilities. I woke up thinking that he was there with me. I lifted the sheet off of my naked body half expecting to see his smiling face nestled between my thighs, but there was nobody there. It felt so real that I could almost reach out and touch him.

I kept drifting in and out of that fantasy. I finally gave up around 5:30 AM. I had a sheen of sweat glistening on my skin. I looked at myself in the mirror and knew deep down that what I did was the right thing for everybody concerned. Office romances didn’t work and I couldn’t in good conscience drive a wedge between us because we couldn’t keep it in our pants.

I was pretty much a zombie in desperate need of caffeine which I found in his office waiting for me. The steam from the cup had me grabbing it and bringing it up to my lips without thinking about the scalding contents. I managed to avoid burning myself.

“I’m glad to see you. I don’t know about you, but I had a very productive evening. I want to show you what I came up with. It would not surprise me in the very least that you came up with your own additions. Let’s see if we are truly on the same wavelength. It could’ve been just one of those things and this way we can prove to one another that we can work together. It doesn’t have to be anything physical, no matter how much a certain party wants there to be something like that. There I go again making assumptions. I really do have a one-track mind.” August had reined himself in, but I did feel that there was more to what he had to say.

“I’ll show you mine…if you show me yours.” I was playing a dangerous game with that comment, but he took it in stride. He motioned for me to go first and I was tempted to start undressing to see that shocked look on his face, but I didn’t take it that far.

I opened up my portfolio and I put them alongside his and amazingly, they matched up almost perfectly. It was as if we were thinking the same thoughts. I wanted to believe that we could see each other out of the office, but I didn’t trust him to keep things friendly.

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it for myself. It’s as if we were both standing in front of each other, as we made these designs. I thought that you would make the perfect addition to my little family, but I didn’t think that we would be this much in sync. I was only playing last night when I said that Lionel was not going to know what hit him. I didn’t know how truthful that statement was until I saw this.” He gathered all of it up and we left there together about to go to war. There was no way to know how this was going to end.

Lionel was already in the conference room waiting for us to enter to give him what he wanted. He probably didn’t understand why he had to come in to personally oversee the designs. It probably made him nervous and leaving him to wait was a good way to keep him on edge.

“Lionel, it’s good to see you again and I do hope that everything has been well. I want you to meet my soon to be partner, Amanda Cochran. I know your feelings about women in general. I want to assure you that Amanda has some interesting ideas. There’s no reason to squirm. Take a look at what we have for you. If we can’t change your mind, then we will go back to the old favorite.” August was an artist just like me, but it didn’t matter how much he wanted this to happen. We thought that we had come up with something that he would be a damn fool to resist. The only way that we were going to know for sure was to see his reaction up close and personal.

“You’ve taken a real risk by bringing me something that I have no interest in seeing. I’m this close to awarding you the contract for three more buildings. I hope for your sake that you know what you’re doing, August. I’ve been married five times and you’d think after the third that I would know better than to stick my head in the Lions’ den again. The only thing that a woman is good for is to…” August put his hand up to stop Lionel from saying something that was going to make me want to punch him square in the face.

“I would ask respectively that you don’t finish that statement. Just take a look and see if this is something that makes you want to change your mind. I want the contract for the next three buildings, but I still feel that we can do better than what was acceptable back in the day. Judge it on the design itself and not who came up with it.” August was trying to wean him into it, but Lionel was fighting him every step of the way.

The worst thing of all was the silence. The clock was ticking and the tension that was in the air was making both I and August anxious. They say that no news is good news, but in this case, that wasn’t going to cut it.

After ten long minutes, Lionel stood up and kicked his chair back. He stood there staring at these designs and I half expected him to tear it up in front of our faces.

“How many years have we been working together, August?” His tone was indicative of somebody that was not happy.

“It has to be over 10 years. You know that I would never ask you to even consider this unless I thought it was a good idea. You of all people know that being stuck in the old ways is never going to make that statement anymore. You said emphatically that you wanted something that was going to showcase your company in the best possible light. You wanted a conversation starter and I think that we have done that.” August was playing the consummate salesman while at the same time appealing to his ego.

“I’m not foolish or senile. I know that eventually, I’m going to have to stand out of the way for the younger generation to take over. My son has been trying to convince me that there is a different way. I’ve been reluctant to listen to him, but maybe he does make some sense. I’m not sure how to say this… I like it. In fact, I think that if you could come up with various versions of the same theme that would give my company the facelift that I’m looking for.” Lionel had admitted that he was wrong to doubt August and his ability to see things from a different perspective.

“I’m kind of stunned. I thought for sure that you were going to reject it out of hand. I was going to try to fight you, but it doesn’t look like I’m going to have to. Are there any changes that you want to make, or are you finally going to give me freedom to do what I do best?” I wasn’t sure that August should have shined a light on Lionel’s ability to make those changes. It’s said that the client is always right and this was the motto that August lived by.

“I’m not sure. I’m going to have to give that some thought, but offhand I don’t see anything. Let me have until the end of the week and I’ll decide one way or the other. I think that we are on the same page. I apologize for my sexist attitude.” Lionel picked up his briefcase and took one last look at the plans. I saw the makings of a smile on his face.

“Don’t take too long. You want to break ground as soon as possible. I can have the construction crew at the site within 24 hours. All I need from you is the go ahead and for you to come up with the budget. Be generous, especially if you want this done post-haste with no delays. You know as well as I do that greasing the wheels takes money.” August went to him and gave him a warm handshake and a tap on the shoulder.

“There’s no reason why they can’t get started on the foundation. Get them started immediately. I want some preliminary drawings of the other three buildings by the time that I come back at the end of the week. I know that’s a little short notice, but I can make it worth your while with a sizable bonus for the both of you. They have to remain similar but with a unique signature all of its own. I’ll let the both of you iron out the details. It’s going to mean working long hours, but the payoff is going to be quite substantial.” He turned and went over with a very expensive looking pen gleaming in gold in his hand. He scribbled something down and then he passed it to August who deemed it necessary not to look at it, as a sign of respect, until Lionel left the office.

I thought that August showed remarkable restraint, but that all ended when the elevator had disappeared for over 30 seconds.

He screamed and I thought for sure that I was going to faint from his unexpected outburst.

“I think that we have a reason to celebrate. I have a bottle for such an occasion that I want you to share with me.” His face was lit up like the 4^th of July. He hadn’t even looked at the paper that Lionel had scribbled down his offer on.

He opened up the paper in front of me and those were the kind of zeroes that could send my grandchildren to the best private schools’ money could buy. I didn’t even have one child and I was already thinking about the future like I was going to be part of this.

“Three more buildings from the same person is quite the coup. He must really think that you are able to get into his head. You make it look simple, but we both know that it’s not. It took me almost 5 hours just to figure out what he might find acceptable. I took those basic blueprints and I grafted something that was unique to him. Mind you, I didn’t do it alone and we play off of each other well.” I jumped back, as the cork to the champagne bottle that he had found went flying across the room.

“I know that it’s a little early in the day to drink, but I feel that we have more than earned it. I’m going to offer you 25% of what he proposed. I think that is being more than generous and that’s on top of the salary that I plan to give you annually with bonuses and stock options. This deal is only good until you leave this room. I hate to be ‘that’ guy, but I don’t have time to haggle. You’re not going to get anything better anyplace else. Besides, you’ll have to learn all over again those quirks of your boss.” He did make an interesting argument and I had already decided that I wanted to make this a long-term commitment.

“You mentioned this deal, but I haven’t seen anything on paper.” He put his finger up to his nose and reached into his suit jacket to pull out a proposal.

“I went on the assumption that things were going to work out and I had this made. It’s a lot of legalese, but the main point that you should be looking at is the figure at the bottom of the page. I have plans to take my genius and yours international. There is a Chinese delegation that has expressed interest. I’ve been reluctant, but having you there would help me to navigate the cultural differences between them and us.” August was basically saying that he wanted me to join him for an indefinite amount of time in China. I think on some level my post graduate work in cultural studies played into his decision.

“I have always wanted to see the world. I just never had the time and maybe this is that idea of having my cake and eating it too. I’m going to take your offer, but I will need some time to think about China. I have some obligations here, but I don’t think it’s anything that I can’t handle by e-mail or phone call.” With each new sip of the champagne, I began to feel more at ease and willing to take a risk for the sake of my career.

“I have been all over the world. It would be my honor to introduce you to some of the hot spots that are not known to the general public. There are tourist traps, but I have learned to listen to the advice of taxi drivers and bellboys. They know where the best places to go are, but for a price.” Weeks on end underneath him was only asking for something to happen. I had made it quite clear that my body was off limits.

“I am curious and it would be interesting to see how the other half lives. I’m assuming that we will have separate rooms. I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m cheap or easy.” I was only kidding, but I saw that he had taken my statement seriously.

“There’s nothing to worry about. We’ll have adjoining rooms, but there will be a lock on the other side. You’ve made your feelings crystal clear. I respect you for the work that you do. Having you around will help to loosen a few lips. I’m suggesting that you use your considerable womanly charms. Chinese men find American women fascinating.” I didn’t mind flirting. I was glad that he didn’t say that I was going to have to sleep with anybody. That would have been a deal breaker.

“I think that I can handle myself. I know what a man wants to hear regardless of nationality. They are all a sucker for a nice face and the curves that go along with it. I’m that forbidden fruit. I can dangle the bait without following through. I think that it would be interesting to have some late-night dinners together.” Without him trying to chase me around the office, I was finding that August was not the skirt chasing letch that I had thought him to be.

“I’m sure that we can fit that in, but I will be quite busy with my girlfriend.” That word was like a foreign invader to my personal space. He had said it nonchalantly and I didn’t even know that he was seeing someone. “I took your advice and I decided to grow up. I’ve been acting like such a little boy. I’ve always been interested in this one girl, but she never did give me the time of day. Last night, I caught her after she was done her shift at the diner and I expressed interest in getting to know her better. There was no sleazy come on and we just talked for hours. I’m going to invite her to come with us. I’m not sure that she will be receptive, but I need to make the effort.” I had no words and I felt this green streak of jealousy running down my back.

“Oh, my…would you look at the time. I have an appointment that I can’t miss. I won’t be gone long.” He didn’t try to tell me that I couldn’t go and it was a good thing that he didn’t. I needed some space and I really couldn’t breathe like some kind of anvil was lying on my chest.

“I want to get started on those three other buildings tomorrow morning. Take the rest of the day off and you deserve it for all the hard work that you’ve put in.” I was glad that he had said that and I had to have time to digest this new information about him having a girlfriend. I didn’t know why it bothered me so much, but it might have had something to do with the fact that he had transformed into the perfect man.

I had no interest in the man that treated me like a piece of meat, but this man was different and was giving me food for thought. I had no idea how I was going to handle seeing them together intimately and showing affection. It was looking like I was going to have to bite the bullet and find out.

* * *

Blueprints of Seduction

Amanda Cochran had thought that August was just like all the rest. The sleazy come-ons and the way that he looked at her made it impossible for her to even think that they could have something together. She rebuffed his advances, claimed that she had just gotten out of a long-term engagement and that wasn’t even close to the truth. Amanda wanted to work with August and his reputation for making something lasting and memorable was a legacy that she wanted to be a part of. Without the constant threat of him trying to put his hands on her, she began to see that August wasn’t the man that she thought he was. There was a caring and compassionate side that was lost on her because of his lecherous ways. It was due to her rejecting him that he changed his ways. Amanda was now seeing August as more than just a partner in business. The obstacle of Julia Ames was threatening a happiness that she didn’t think was possible.

* * *

I paced back and forth in my bedroom, trying to figure out what I was going to do. Could I live with knowing that I had thrown August into another woman’s arms? I’d made it pretty clear that his interest in me was not going to be returned. There was no way that I could deny that he had a body that just wouldn’t quit. The charming dimples and the way that he spoke with refinement had made me putty in his hands. I tried so hard to push him away that I didn’t realize that there was more to him than the crass comments and the way that he tried to touch me inappropriately.

“What do you see in him? I only ask because you stated emphatically that he can’t keep it in his pants. He’s constantly coming onto you and making you feel like your skin is crawling. Don’t you see what’s going on here? Now that he’s with somebody else, you want what you can’t have. That’s not fair to either one of you.” Gemini was a friend that I had not seen in almost a decade. She just showed up out of the blue with her long hair colored in a blue and red dye. She certainly didn’t look like the same woman that I knew back when we met in school.

“I basically told him that he should shape up, but I neglected to tell him that I needed a real man to sweep me off my feet. I’ve never been one to shy away from the unknown, but guys like him are a dime a dozen. You can find somebody like him in any bar wearing their intentions in the way that they have their shirt open and that god-awful gold chain swinging back and forth against their chest. August might not be that transparent, but I thought that I had his number. I had no idea how hard it was going to be to hear him say that he was with another woman.” I was only wearing a pair of men’s boxers. I found that they were very comfortable when I wanted to sleep but not necessarily in the buff. The one thing that Gemini and I had in common was the size of our bodies. She liked to say that we were identical twins, but I couldn’t exactly say that with the way that she was dressed and wearing her individuality on your sleeve.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I really didn’t think that you had a chance with him anyway. Guys like him tend to gravitate towards those of the supermodel variety. You and I have a bit more going on for us than a stick thin figure. I don’t know about you, but I’ve learned to embrace my curves. It’s that confidence that has made it unnecessary for me to go to bed without the companion of a man. I see that same confidence in you, but it’s not as strong as I would like it to be.” Gemini was exactly like me and maybe that was the reason why she left town. I thought that it was something that I did, but I didn’t know at the time that she didn’t have any choice.

Her father was an army brat and staying in one place for too long wasn’t an option. I had kept in touch with Gemini, but this was the first time that we had seen each other without the necessary technological advancements. It was one thing to see her transformation while talking to her on a chat site, but it was another altogether when she was standing right in front of me flaunting her body. She made me feel inferior like I was doing myself an injustice.

“Don’t get me wrong, I want him to be happy, but I was never convinced that he would be able to find a woman. I thought that I had time. You have no idea how close I came to letting him do unspeakable things to me. I’ve thought about nothing else since the moment that he told me about Julia. I think that it’s a good idea for me to know my enemy before I go into battle. I’ve decided against my better judgment that I’m going to fight for him. I can’t do it up front and I’m going to need to rely on certain aspects of my personality that have remained dormant.” I was referring to my sexuality. I was never very comfortable with that kind of wanton desire, but I’d learned a long time ago that I didn’t have to be afraid of that part of me.

“I know exactly what you’re going through. I felt the same way, but traveling due to my father’s job really did open up my eyes. There was no reason for me to be some kind of a wallflower. My weight was my issue. I didn’t allow it to weigh me down and no man stood a chance. I hope that you know what you’re doing. I’m not in any position to tell you what to do. The only thing that I can suggest is that you take things slowly. Give him the idea that there could be something more, but don’t make any grand gestures. Be discreet. The one thing that you can’t do is allow Julia to know what your intentions are.” She sat on my bed with her feet curled in underneath her and her back straight.

I knew that this was some kind of yoga pose and that she was always into this new age health craze. I found it useful at times to delve into pharmaceutical aids that were more natural than big company medicine. I liked the idea that nature could cure anything. I took vitamin C every morning, including garlic pills to prevent me from having to get the flu shot. I lived my life the naturopathic way. I had no interest in taking any drugs for any reason whatsoever.

“I’m going to have to be subtle without throwing myself at him. It’s been a few weeks since he told me about Julia. He talks about her all the time. I have to bite my lip to keep myself from screaming. I want him. I just have to find a way to make him see me. You have this knack of finding clothing that makes our figure that much more appealing. That’s the reason why I asked you to go shopping with me.” We’d spent all afternoon and come back with some interesting things that made me scratch my head.

“I hope that you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of letting you have the benefit of my experience. You look at these clothing and you make this face like there’s no way that you could possibly wear something like that. When you can get that out of your head, then you’ll be the woman that you’ve always wanted to be. Trust me; these are not issues that I haven’t lived with myself.” Gemini was staying with me for however long it took her to move on with another chapter of her life.

I looked at the dresses that we had gotten at that shop and I shivered with the way that it was going to put my otherwise endowed assets on display.

“I’m not sure that I’m comfortable showing that much skin. I do wear tight clothing, but nothing that comes even close to this.” I referred to one dress that was pure white and lifting it into the light made it see through. “This is not me, but I suppose it’s going to have to be. I need him to take a second look. I thought that he was unredeemable, but I’ve noticed in the last little while that he has changed those leopard spots. I do wonder how long that’s going to last before he once again has that wandering eye.” What I failed to mention was that I wanted his wandering eye to see me in a compromising position.

“You can’t fool me and you have never been able to. Amanda, if you want this man so badly that you can taste him, then you need to show him. I’m not suggesting that you attack him in his office, but I’m sure that he wouldn’t be opposed to that. Guys are pretty much oblivious when it comes to a woman’s intentions. There are times that it’s necessary to slap them across the face metaphorically speaking. It wouldn’t hurt you to wear a little bit of makeup. I know that you go in for that natural look, but accenting your cheekbones is a good way to get him to see you. I can help you with that.” I wasn’t sure that I wanted to put myself in her hands, but if anybody was aware of what I was going through, then it would have to be her.

“Right before your eyes, I will transform into a desirable creature of the night. I want August to know that he’s powerless to resist me. I haven’t met Julia yet. I have been anxious to see what my competition looks like. From everything that he has said about her, she won’t be easy to get rid of. They apparently knew each other for quite some time and had talked on occasion. I’m going to wear this red dress. It’s a little bit more risqué than I’m used to, but I think that I need to put it out there.” We spent the rest of the night reminiscing and watching old movies on television until she passed out on the couch.

I went back to my room and did myself the courtesy of looking at myself in the mirror at the red dress that was molded to my frame. It stretched and the fabric was made to accommodate any size woman within reason.

* * *

I had been worried from the moment that I heard about Julia. She was guarded and August told me that she was weary of getting involved with him. She thought like most women would that he was only after one thing, but then she began to see that he had become a one-woman kind of man.

I woke up early and I found Gemini still sleeping one off. I put a blanket over top of her. She was a bit of a bohemian and lived day to day with no real direction in her life. She found that it was freeing to be independent and able to pick up and leave at a moment’s notice. I could see how she would have that nomadic spirit. I don’t think that I could’ve stepped into her shoes.