I arrived at the office, breathing deeply and looking at my reflection to see that my breasts were not exactly shy. I wasn’t wearing a bra and those naughty pointed buds could be easily seen with the naked eye. I could always claim that it was the air conditioning, but I knew better. This was my excitement getting out of hand. I actually felt like I was going to pass out, but I managed to stay standing and looking at his door.
It was still early and then I heard something that made me stop with my hand on the doorknob to his office. I thought that it was a man moaning and I got a vision of him putting into practice an old remedy for his arousal. I wanted to see it, but I didn’t want to interrupt his fascination with his own body.
I was about to go in, but then I stopped short with a female voice joining his. “Oh, god…you have to stop this. It doesn’t seem to matter where we are and I need to put my foot down. Some things are better left unsaid. Jesus…don’t do that and you know that I get weak at the knees when you do that.” The woman had to be Julia. I could hope that it wasn’t. That she was coming here as we speak to catch him in the act of being with somebody else. It was only wishful thinking.
“I don’t know what your problem is and it’s not like anybody’s going to be here for at least another hour. I say that we take full advantage of the time that we have together and not waste it. I’m trying to make up for lost time. I’ve always had this crush on you, Julia. You probably thought that I was clumsy when I dropped my fork every time that you were near, but that was by design. I wanted to see you bend over and that short skirt that you wear at the diner leaves little to the imagination. I may not be that same man anymore, but that doesn’t stop me from panting after you.” August was pressuring her into doing something in a semi-public forum.
“I don’t know why I even bother to wear panties. You get one look at them and you take them off. You say that I look a whole lot better without them. I do find that a compliment, but it also makes it so that I’m very self-conscious about my body when I’m at the diner. Every time that I bend over, my skirt rides up, but I have learned to bend at the knees.” The guys that were her clients must’ve got a cheap thrill out of seeing her like that.
“You know that I love to live vicariously through those men that try to make you feel like a piece of meat. I won’t do that, but I would love to show up when they are getting a little frisky.” August might have changed, but there was still a part of him that was lingering underneath that drastic transformation.
“I hope that you never lose the way that you look at me. I like the way that you make me feel like the only woman in the room. I’ve never felt so alive. I need you to be with me and to stay with me through thick and thin. I’m glad that you are willing to contemplate a commitment. I know that you had a crush on me, but what you didn’t know is that I had a crush on you. I don’t know how many times I wondered what it would be like to find you in the diner after hours and christen each and every booth.” Julia sounded like a woman with a sexual appetite that was unsurpassed.
“The skirt that you’re wearing is making me too hot to handle. There’s no reason for you to fight me. It’s not like you don’t want this. I can see the way that your legs are shaking at the very idea of doing something in my office. It makes you desperate to throw caution to the wind” I was tempted to interrupt, but I was more curious to know how far they were going to go.
“I don’t have time for this. I know that’s disappointing, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t do something. I could conceivably give you some pleasure. I know how you get when I’m performing a certain sexual act. The way that you squirm and look down at me is priceless. It’s something that I want to repeat over and over again.” Julia was suggesting giving him the benefit of her mouth. I didn’t know what compelled me, but I needed to see this for myself.
Julia was on her knees. You wouldn’t know it from looking at her that she was a slut, but the whore underneath the fancy clothing was now emerging to consume him. I should’ve cleared my throat and brought this to an end, but I was essentially frozen to the spot like my feet couldn’t move.
He was holding onto her hair and shifting gears by moving his hips to supply her with the heavyweight of his manhood on her tongue. I could see her head bobbing up and down with her hair flying everywhere. I wanted to say something.
“I’m glad… I’m so fucking glad that you are a woman that likes to do this. You’re not just going through the motions and there is real joy in your technique. If you’re not careful, this is going to end prematurely. I don’t think either one of us wants that to happen.” I knew that from the sound of it that he was a hair trigger. They could’ve been teasing each other for hours until they had to finally do something about it.
I wanted to see what god had blessed him with. I had this fascination and image in my head that I wanted to compare to the original. Unfortunately, the angle was making it difficult to see anything of substance.
That jealousy that I had felt when he had first told me about her had come back in waves. It was making me nauseous and I wanted to be sick to my stomach.
I could hear her submitting to his will. It was a sound better heard in the privacy of a bedroom than here at the office. I wasn’t sure if I could ever look at that desk again. He was leaning back against it, his pants down around his ankles and his hips moving with the insistence of her oral consumption.
I finally had enough and I closed the door quietly. I didn’t need to see this come to its inevitable end. I had to do something. I went back to the elevator and I made enough noise that they would have to stop what they were doing. I felt bad that I was taking that away from him, but I also felt elated that I was stopping them from showing that kind of affection.
“I know that you are going to be so happy with what I have come up with. I just couldn’t wait to come in to tell you all about it. I came up with a design for those three buildings that is going to knock your socks off. I know that we only have a couple weeks. This design will go on the front of each of those buildings.” I breathed deeply, hoping that they could hear my raised voice and get themselves presentable before I walked in on something that was going to make me go blind.
I had seen more than enough, but not near as much as I was hoping for. I just needed her to move out of the way for a second, but she was glued to the spot.
I opened the door and Julia was sitting there with her long black hair fanning out down her back. I could see from the way the other hand was moving that she was reapplying her lipstick. I could almost guess where that lipstick went. She had marked her territory down the length of him.
"I wasn’t expecting you so early. I don’t see that there’s any reason for us to put off the inevitable. I’ve been meaning to get the two of you together, but our schedules really didn’t match up.” As if to beat him to the punch, Julia stood and faced me in a designer blue and black outfit. I couldn’t understand why she was wearing something like this when she worked at a diner.
“Amanda, I have heard nothing but good things about you from August. He seems to think that we will get along famously. I do admit that I have had some problems dealing with you both working long hours. He promised me that there was nothing untoward going on. I think that it is high time that we meet.” She had her hand outstretched and I wanted to slap it away and tell her that he was mine. I couldn’t do that without laying all of my cards on the table.
One way or the other, I was going to have to put on a brave face and make nice for the sake of appearances. I could see the way that she was looking at me, drawing her eyes down over my body, until she smiled with that telling sneer that had me wondering if she knew what I was up to.
“August has spoken about you often. I don’t know if he knows of any other subject than some quirky little thing that you do that makes him smile. He seems happy and you have to know that he’s not the same man that he used to be. He still looks. You must have noticed those errant glances toward other women.” She looked confused and this was my way to seed some doubt in her mind about their relationship. “I don’t know what it is about men. They can’t settle for what they have without thinking that they can do better.” I didn’t want to lay it on too thick, or I would alienate both of them and make it impossible for us to work together.
“I’ve had my fair share of men that can’t seem to take no for an answer. August comes into the diner once a week and has the same pecan pie. I’m not foolish and I know the reason why he comes in. I turned him down several times, but a few weeks ago there was something different in the way that he approached me. I got this feeling that you might have had something to do with his change of attitude towards women. It sometimes takes a strong and confident woman to put a man in his place. If I have you to thank for that, then I should really show you my appreciation in some way. I know and I could have you over for dinner one on one.” I could tell that she was baiting me and hoping that I was going to grab onto the line like a jerking fish out of the water.
“I think that is a great idea. My two best girls getting along is my fondest wish. I would love to be a fly on the wall, but I have other business that I need to take care of tonight. I have an old friend that’s coming into pitch an idea for an investment that I would be a damn fool to turn down. While we are drinking in his hotel room, I would feel so much better that both of you are looking after each other. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to finish my business. It could be all night, or I could show up in time for the pillow fight.” I wasn’t stupid, but I could tell that August was oblivious to the way that we were sizing each other up.
“Since you have asked so nicely, I don’t see that there’s any reason for me to reject your offer out of hand.” She smiled, but it was not the smile of someone that trusted me beyond reproach. This was the smile of someone that wanted to put me on notice and the best way to do that was to catch me in a trap of her making.
“I’m not going to tell you what we’re going to have. I’m going to surprise you with something that I have been dabbling in the kitchen with. Don’t worry, if it is not to your liking, there will still be that pecan pie that August raves about. I make it from scratch and the diner put it on their menu because one taste and everybody was hooked. I won’t take up any more of your time. I know that the both of you have a lot of work to do and I would hate to interfere in any way. I have to get to class.” Julia had me at a loss for words and I felt a little nervous to be in her presence.
“Class? What are you taking if you don’t mind me asking?” I thought that she was just this diner girl that had aspirations to be something that she wasn’t.
“I’m surprised that he hasn’t told you. I’m in my last year of medical school. I’m only working at the diner to help my Aunt and make a few dollars on the side. Next year, I won’t be able to lend her hand, because I will be too busy putting in long hours at the hospital on rotation. It’s a lot of hard work, but the payoff is worth it in the end. It’s what I do and I think that you can agree that once you find something that you want it’s hard to let that go.” I wasn’t sure if she was referring to our careers or the man that was standing there having no idea that we were talking in code.
“I know exactly what you’re talking about. Once you find something that you’re good at it’s not that easy to walk away. Sometimes you don’t know what you have until it’s taken away. Sometimes you don’t know how good you have it until it’s too late.” I could play that game as well as she could.
She walked out of the office and my first perception of her was not exactly what I thought it was. This was going to be a tough nut to crack.
* * *
There was that elephant in the room that neither one of us was willing to speak of. Julia had laid down the gauntlet and was daring me to cross the line. I was sure that I had given her food for thought. It was possible that she was no longer seeing me as a colleague of August’s. I did like that she saw me as a threat, even though our body types were not exactly the same. She was the kind that was influenced by the airbrushed models in magazines growing up. My body type was different than others. I had to contend with a big boned statue. It wasn’t something that I could do anything about. I’d learned to live with some of my insecurities, but with her being in August’s life made it difficult for me to feel like I could measure up.
“I have to say that your designs put my preliminary drawings to shame. Working together, we’ve come up with something that will give our client a reason to give his approval. I’ll send this off to him at the end of the day. I’ve been meaning to tell you how much it means to me that you have taken an interest in Julia. I really want to make this work. I’ve never been in love and I’ve tried to stop myself from saying those three words with any woman. In the last few weeks, I’ve come close to saying them to her, but I have been reluctant to do so. If you have any advice, I would love to hear from a woman’s point of view.” August was asking me for love advice and how was I supposed to turn down an opportunity to throw a monkey wrench into their relationship.
“It’s been my personal opinion and experience that men say those three words too quickly. They rarely mean it. They only say it because they feel obligated. I don’t want you to do that, especially if you don’t feel it deep down. It’s not fair for you to say something that you don’t feel. Take my advice and you’ll know when it’s right.” He was nodding his head like I was saying something that made sense.
“I just don’t want to lose her because I wasn’t upfront with my intentions. The one thing that I don’t want is to be is alone.” He was finding that committing to one woman was making him break out in hives. I could see him scratching his neck every so often and those three words were really weighing heavily on his mind.
“Anything that is worth doing is worth doing the right way. It takes a lot of hard work and compromises to make a relationship stand up to the test of time. I don’t think that I’m telling you anything that you don’t already know. Women wear their emotions on their sleeve and men seem to shelter themselves from showing any kind of feelings whatsoever. It makes for a different kind of dance. Don’t do anything too rash and risk chasing her away. Besides, you never know and maybe she’s not the one for you.” With that in mind, I bent over and I could see that he was taking notice of the swell of my breasts right in his face.
“I hope that you didn’t feel that I was putting you on the spot by agreeing to her suggestion about the both of you having dinner together. I would never want to put you in a position that you didn’t feel comfortable. I’ve learned that…Oh, Jesus…the hard way.” He stumbled over his words and I could see that bead of sweat trickling down the edge of his nose. It was obvious that I was getting to him and I was surprised that he was able to keep his hands off of me. How could I let him leave and disappear without a trace? He was the only one that knew me at all. I couldn’t watch him leave and not do something about it.
I didn’t want to shed a tear over a relationship that had never amounted to anything more than flirting. I wanted him to take a look at me and not see the empty space of my heart looking back at him. The memory of his face every night haunted me and mocked me into thinking that I had done the wrong thing by pushing him away. I had to find a way to make him turn around in my direction. I had so much that I needed to say to him that it was hard to sit here and do nothing about the heat between us.
“It’s a good idea for me to have dinner with Julia. I can be your eyes and ears. Not many men get the opportunity have a member of the opposite sex play defense. I can learn how she truly feels by getting her to loosen her lips over a bottle of wine that I’m going to bring with me for the occasion.” I could see that the tent in his pants had not gone down from the moment that I had arrived at the office. I was sure that it had something to do with her servicing him, but that would not explain the fact that he was still sporting something that would scare little old ladies on a bus.
“I never thought of it that way. Having a best friend that is of the opposite sex has its advantages.” The sun had dipped below the horizon and the glow of the different colors gave the office this romantic atmosphere that was hard to deny
“Just call me your secret weapon. I want you to find the one that is going to make you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. If she does that for you, then I think that it would be in your best interest to use me. Some girls are only after one thing and I’m not talking about what is in between your legs. Some girls like to find a man that is going to help them live without the necessity of working a day in their lives. I don’t see that from Julia. I am worried that she might be equating you with her father. That’s not very healthy.” This little bug in his ear would cause him to wonder and that was exactly what I was hoping for.
“I’m meeting my friend in about an hour and I really do need to go home and freshen up. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” That was a statement that was used when a bartender was closing up at that 2:00 AM hour. “I’m not lying when I say that I would love to be a fly on the wall. You are going to be my Cyrano. I feel good about this. I hope that you don’t feel that I’m putting too much pressure on you.” I was bent over with that dress riding up and showing the plumpness of my two round peaches in a thong.
I could hear him gasp and I had no choice but to smile at his discomfort. I was really making it hard on him metaphorical and figuratively speaking. He couldn’t hide the uniform of his arousal. The outline was quite something. I wanted to see it. I was hungry to see it and to show it the kind of appreciation that it deserved.
“I don’t feel any pressure whatsoever. It will be my honor to gauge her and find out if marriage is something that she is even considering. I get this feeling that you haven’t talked about that subject or even kids for that matter. It might be good to know where she stands on certain subjects before you go any further. I’m guessing that the sex is good.” I turned and saw him looking away. It had me wondering if they had even gotten out of the gate.
“I don’t know if we should be talking about my love life like this, but I need to talk to someone. We haven’t gone all the way. It’s not from lack of trying that’s for sure. She’s still worried that I’m that same little boy acting like a hormonal teenager. I tried to convince her otherwise, but she says that if I truly care for her that I will be happy to wait.” This was music to my ears. I thought that I was in a losing battle, but if they hadn’t even done anything other than some oral then I still had a chance to turn his head.
I pretended to stumble on my heels and I landed in his arms with his hands grabbing onto the first thing that he could to break my fall. Those hands were squeezing my melons. I tried to feign surprise, but he was doing very little to stop himself from touching me. I was sure that he could feel my nipples poking into his hand. Without a bra, I was putting it all out there.
“I’m usually not this clumsy. I’m glad that you were here, or that could’ve been disastrous.” I didn’t stop him from holding me like that. I liked the way that his palm brushed across my nipples and caused them to break out in tiny Goosebumps around the edges. “You are my hero.” His mouth was parted and I could see his eyes grow wide like saucers. He stared at my breasts where his hands were currently connected to
I was hoping that he was going to find himself powerless to my advances. I thought for a moment that he was going to trash this office by making a permanent imprint of my ass on his desk.
He shook his head and looked at his watch. That was when I knew that the spell had been broken. “Well…Um… I have to go.” I thought for sure that his pants were on fire. He rushed out of the office and practically tripped over his own 2 feet. “I’ll see you…in the morning and you can give me a blow by blow of what happened. I’ll be talking to her tonight. There’s no doubt that she’s going to tell me everything that was said. I’m going to count on you to give me the unbiased truth.” He slammed the door and I put my two hands on the desk to steady my nerves and prevent myself from rushing out and jumping him like a tiger after its prey.
I didn’t know how hard it was to be around him. The origin of my lust came from him putting the moves on me. I could still feel his hands on my breasts. I sat down in his chair, feeling the warmth of his body where he had just vacated. I basked in the heady scent of his cologne. It made me feel like I was becoming obsessed to the point of being unhealthy.
I put my feet up on his desk with my legs spread and my hand touching on the inside of my thighs. I could’ve easily done something to relieve that tension, but there was no time. I had to go home and find something casual. I couldn’t show up to dinner with Julia looking like this. It would’ve been like waving a red flag at a raging bull that was ready to charge. I needed to change her opinion about me so that there was no doubt that I was a confidant and not someone sniffing around her man.
* * *
I stood there at her door, carrying the bottle of wine and feeling ready to play this game. I was dressed to give her the idea that I was at home in a pair of jeans. They were one of my prize possessions. I really did look good in them. You could see me coming and going. I was wearing a bulky white sweater to tone down my obvious assets that were a bit more than she could even wish to have.
I wasn’t comfortable with this kind of deceit. I almost canceled, but I knew that this was my way to break them up from the inside. I didn’t feel good about it, but I would do practically anything to get my man. I never thought that I had this instinctual need to fight for what I wanted. I didn’t know until I was put into the position where I had to find out.
I looked around at the neighborhood and it had that suburban feel where kids were inevitable. I could tell a lot from where she lived. It was clear that she wanted that white picket fence with a man and the children to go along with that happy picture. Several kids played soccer in the street. I could smell the sweetness of the flowers blooming by her doorstep.
I knocked on the door with my heart in my throat. I thought for sure that I was going to chicken out and run at the last second. I heard her footsteps approaching and then the door opened to reveal that she was playing the same part that I was. She had let her hair down by putting it into pigtails to give off that innocent quality. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that she was only doing that to make me feel at home so that I would let my guard down.
“I was wondering when you were going to get here. Dinner is almost ready, but we have a few minutes before we sit down. I see that great minds think alike.” She showed me what she was talking about by moving her hand that was out of sight behind her back so that I could see that she was also holding a bottle of wine. “I know that I could use a drink. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right back with a couple of glasses. I never did take into consideration that you might be allergic to something.” She was already moving and it was obvious that she wanted to get as much distance from me as she could to ready herself for the sparring match that was going to take place.
I went into the living room and her style was quite eclectic. There wasn’t really anything that went together. If I looked at it as a whole, there was some method to her madness. I sat down on a red couch.
I looked at the photos of her and her family. I saw that she was the youngest of all of them. They looked like a happy bunch and I felt sort of guilty for trying to undermine her relationship with August. It wasn’t going to stop me from grilling her mercilessly but in a very subtle way.
“I do hope that you enjoy chicken parmesan as much as I do. I put my own spin on it and there is a bit more spice to tickle the palate. I like to take normal everyday food and turn it into something extraordinary. I’ve always been under the adage that the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” She passed me the glass of wine and I took a sip, even though I wanted to down the contents to numb my senses. “Let me get right to the point before dinner. I don’t trust you. I see the way that you look at him and it’s a lot more than admiration.” It appeared that she was going to be blunt. I was going to have to play this just right or risk her getting her ire up.
“There’s nothing for you to worry about. Just because I like the view doesn’t mean that I’m going to buy the land. You can’t possibly believe that he’s a one-woman kind of man. He has admitted to having the flaw of wanting to experience new things. I can’t be with a man like that, no matter if he does look like a GQ model right out of the magazine. Besides, do I really look like his type? I don’t mean to put myself down, but look at you and then look at me.” I once again gave her more to think about without coming out and saying that she was going to get her hair pulled out if she tried anything with August.
I thought that my heart was frozen, but when I heard him say my name it was enough to make me smile. He had this tendency to drive me wild by just being in the same room. I kinda missed the way that he flirted and tried to make me blush.
“I see what you’re saying. I’ve seen all the signals and I’m not sure that he can get away from his past. I’m trying hard to understand the man. It does break my heart to even think about him stepping out on me. I’ve tried to keep him at an arm’s length, but it’s difficult when the only thing that I can think about is putting him to the test in the bedroom to see if we are compatible.” I could see that she was using that sisterly bond to make me a confidant.
“I don’t mean to be a poison pill. I’m not suggesting that he doesn’t have some redeeming qualities. If you are putting off sleeping with him, then that might be best. We both know that once we go that far that there’s more than an emotional connection. I would be lying to myself if I didn’t say that I did want him. I fantasize about what it would be like to be with him, but I can’t take that risk. I’ve had my heart broken too many times to go down that road again.” I was purposely being truthful and giving her the idea that procrastinating was best until she was able to figure out if he was the kind of guy that could be trusted not to stray.
“I admire your candor and you could have told me that you were not even interested. I wouldn’t have believed you for a second, but saying it up front makes me feel better. I fantasize about that moment myself too many times to count. It has left me with sleepless nights and this desperate need to cling to him. I don’t want to be the kind of woman that will always wonder if his late nights are more than they are supposed to be. I don’t want to be waiting up for him and smell somebody’s perfume or see that lipstick on his collar.” She had all but convinced herself that he wasn’t the kind of man that was made for suburban life.
I’d just fed into her doubts about his character. I wasn’t putting him down, but I wasn’t putting him in a good light either. I gave her reason to take a step back.
“I know that some people think that life is too short, but we need to protect ourselves. There are too many men that say one thing and do another. They might mean well, but that wandering eye is something that has been ingrained into them. It could be the influence of their father or maybe lack of a parental figure. I really can’t say for sure. I think that you noticed that August keeps his personal life close to the vest.” I got the feeling that she thought that this was going to be her way of telling me to stop thinking about him at all. I had turned the tables and we were now talking like old friends.
“I would like to use you as a conduit between him and myself. I know that I’m asking you to spy on him for me. Being women, we have to stand by one another. I think that we can table this conversation until after dinner. I have been slaving over the stove for the past couple of hours and I would really like to hear your opinion of my creation.” She had on a long blue shirt that covered her jeans almost down to the knees.
I followed her despite my misgivings until I was sitting down and waiting for her to fuel my appetite. She put the food in front of me and the aroma hit me like a ton of bricks. She really did like to play with spices. I was afraid that I was going to burn the roof of my mouth off. I took one bite and it had subtle overtones of heat, but not enough to make me go running for the water.
“I would say that if medical school didn’t work out that you have a real gift for cooking. I don’t see any reason why culinary school has to be out of the question. The Cordon Bleu is an accredited school and one that you could learn a lot from.” I really did mean what I was saying, but on the other hand, it seemed like I was pushing her in a different direction. “Are you sure that medicine is your true calling? You don’t just dabble in the kitchen; you create masterpieces with your bare hands. This is something that you should share with the rest of the world. I see the way that you smile at my comments and you love the praise for your food.” This was a good way to lead her by the hand into another vocation.
“All of my brothers are doctors and I thought that it was my purpose in life to follow in their footsteps. My mother is a Physician and my father is a professor of medical studies. To be honest, I never really did think that I had what it took to be a doctor. I only did it to appease them. I do love cooking, but I never thought that I could make it my career. Do you really think that I have the talent to make it my life?” There was no point in lying to her. I was sure that she was waiting for someone to tell her that it was okay to live for herself and not for her family.
“You’ve thought about this before. You can’t sit there and tell me that I’m the only one that has raved about your food. Anybody that sits down to something that you make with your love of cooking would have to tell you. Doesn’t August find your food to die for?” I waited for her response, but it didn’t stop me from eating everything on my plate and having this desperate need to lick it afterward.
“August is not exactly an unbiased audience. You have been a breath of fresh air. I don’t feel like I have to be something that I’m not around you. I think under other circumstances that we could’ve been fast friends. I’m just not sure that we can be friends with the both of us having eyes on the same man. I know that you would never do anything about your attraction and that does help me to sleep at night. You shouldn’t put yourself down. You say that you are not his type, but I think any man that finds himself close to you will feel differently. I don’t want to ever hear you make disparaging comments about your appearance. You deserve that man that is going to put you on a pedestal.” I thought for sure that I was going to hate her, but I found myself liking her despite the fact that she was with August.
“It’s not my place to say, but if you are truly thinking about changing direction in your life then maybe keeping things cool in the bedroom is a good idea. You must know that there’s no place that he wants to be than here. I’m not suggesting that you break it off with him and far from it. I’m just saying that it would be better to air on the side of caution.” I came over here precisely to sabotage any chance of them getting into the bedroom. She had all but done that for me.
“You do make sense on paper, but have you seen him? It’s a wonder that I haven’t lost my mind and done something already. I want to and you have no idea how much it hurts me every time that he leaves with a deep and longing kiss. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to resist him. I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t want any man to have that kind of power over me, but I can’t help the way that I feel. I don’t know if this is love, but there is definitely an infatuation that needs to be dealt with sooner than later.” I had tried everything that I could to chill the air of her excitement.
“Don’t you think that we all do foolish things because of a pretty face and a body to match? That is the danger of dating. You never know when one date will turn into a one night stand or if it’s going to be something more lasting. I see that you come from a big family. It gives me the idea that maybe you want a big family of your own. Your parents are still together, but are they truly happy or are they just staying with each other for the kids?” I wanted to know if marriage and children were something that she saw in her future.
“I’m the only girl in the family. I sometimes wonder if my parents are happy. They don’t see each other that much. It’s almost like they want it that way. I don’t think that my brothers have any idea that there might be trouble in paradise. I want my parents to show some affection, but I don’t think that they have the capacity for that kind of public display of affection. I do want marriage and kids, but only when it feels right. Everything has to fall into place in exactly the right way and at exactly the right time. I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with having a bit of fun. August might not be walking down the aisle anytime soon, but there is chemistry that needs to be taken out of the laboratory.” I could see that fire. It wasn’t the same way that I felt for August, but it certainly would leave him no other choice but to drop his pants.
“Men might not seem incapable of showing emotion, but we both know that they feel deeply. I don’t want you to use him and then to toss him aside when you’re done with him. Remember, I still have to work with him and having him moping around the office is not going to be good for anybody.” I left it at that, feeling like I had done what I had come over here to do, but in an entirely different way.
* * *
“I know that you wanted me to get the skinny on her and I think that I did that. I’m just not sure if I should share with you something that she told me in confidence. It would be wrong. I think that I’m going to need some convincing to betray her trust.” I’d found him lamenting over what Julia had done when he came over after getting knock down drunk with his friend.
“I acted like an idiot last night. I fell into the same habits. I shouldn’t have gone over to see her in that state. I was feeling horny. That’s no excuse, but it is an explanation. Let’s just say that she wasn’t very receptive to a booty call at midnight. I didn’t want to make her feel dirty. She probably thought of herself as nothing but a piece of meat. The slam of the door in my face sobered me up very quickly. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just need to know from you if I’m wasting my time. I need to make amends, but I don’t want to grovel unless I think that this is going someplace.” I had him by the short hairs and I could twist her words in my favor.
“You should’ve treated me like a sponsor last night. If you had called me and told me what you were planning, I would’ve cut you off at the pass. We all do stupid things in the name of so-called love. I’m guessing that you didn’t feel very good about how you felt after seeing your friend. You wanted to make yourself feel better by going to her and getting some of that tender loving care. You should’ve gone home and slept it off. By making an ass of yourself, you took away all the hard work that you’ve accomplished up to this point. I have some good news and some bad news.” I was going to be straight up with him and not sugarcoat it in any way.
“By all means, tell me the good news first and then you can drop the bombshell of the bad news.” I had him as a captive audience and there was no way that he was going to leave that spot before I told him what I needed to say.
“The good news is that she does want kids and marriage. The bad news is that she’s not sure that you’re capable of that kind of commitment. I’m not even sure that it matters, considering that she’s thinking about walking away from her medical studies for something more her passion. I don’t want to go into detail, but she has confessed to me that she’s only going to be a doctor because she thinks that she’s obligated to do so.” I found it easy to tell him what she had told me in confidence. I had nothing invested in her future, but mine was an entirely different matter altogether.
“I knew that coming from a big family that was a possibility. She has told me several times about growing up with overachievers. I should’ve seen that she wasn’t happy with her current direction in life. I don’t think that you have to tell me what she really wants to do. Cooking is something that she excels that. I would be damn fool to stand in her way and maybe it’s best that I let her go before things go too far.” I didn’t have to say anything. He had come to that conclusion on his own. I was just afraid that he was the kind that was going to pull the Band-Aid off slowly instead of quickly.
“I wouldn’t blame you for following her. If you really think that you have a future with her, then you need to tell her that whatever she decides that you will stand by her.” I was being a good friend and squeezing his shoulders while he was sitting there at the desk. It was a good way to remind him that I wasn’t going anywhere.
“That’s just it. I don’t know if we do have a future. I can’t ask her to wait for me when her passion is calling her. I have no interest in leaving, especially if we are only dating. I will say that the last few weeks have been fun and that’s without the sex.” I still couldn’t believe that in the few weeks that they had been seeing each other that they didn’t consummate. What I had seen was something for them to relieve any expectation. I doubt that he was the only one that was on the receiving end of oral foreplay.
“To be devil’s advocate, you still don’t know where she stands. The only way that you’re going to find out is to sit her down and have a frank discussion. This is no time to shy away from ‘the talk’. It’s better that you know now than to think that you have something and then learn that it wasn’t as strong as you thought it was. I would never try to tell you that she wasn’t right for you. That’s something that you’re going to have to decide for yourself. I just think that it would be better for the both of you to either step back or take things to the next level. I don’t know Julia that well, but what I do know is that she is an honest person. If you ask her out right, I’m sure that she will tell you what you might not want to hear. Be sure that you want to know the truth. It’s one thing to think that you do, but another when you are given a dose of reality.” I had tried to manipulate his feelings, but I was feeling that guilt for turning their words against them.
I actually found myself liking Julia, but my feelings for August were deeper than anything that I could feel as a sisterly bond with Julia. The only thing that concerned me was that possible aftershock after those inevitable words were spoken. Once the dust settled, would he even be open to the notion of being with me? It was a cross that I was willing to bear.
“I know that you’re right. I do have to talk to her. It’s funny, but it’s usually not me saying the words. I’ve never had to tell somebody that it was over. It was always the girl that came to the end of her rope and couldn’t take me playing the field. I’ve had many conversations where they said that it wasn’t me. I know that it’s me. I don’t make it easy for any woman to get close to me. I’m not looking forward to this. If I didn’t think that it was a coward’s way out, I would send her a text message.” I couldn’t let him do that and that kind of act would only diminish my feelings for him.
“I really hope that you don’t mean that. It’s not a comfortable situation. To end things abruptly by sending a text message will only give her a reason to seek you out. You may not know this about women, but we can be quite vindictive when we want to be. I don’t want to give out all our trade secrets, but I think that you need to know that we respect men more for doing it in person. You can mitigate her reaction by doing it someplace public. It might prevent her from making a scene, but I don’t know her well enough to say that.” I could’ve easily left it alone and let the chips fall where they may. This could’ve been over with a few keystrokes on his phone. I just couldn’t do that to either one of them.
“I wasn’t kidding. I can’t stand to see a woman cry. You can call that my Achilles’ heel. I just don’t know if I can go through with it. The way that I see it is that this is best for the both of us. She won’t have anything holding her to this place. It’s time for her to stretch her wings. I’m not going to be the one to ruin her one chance at happiness. I could be selfish and tell her that I don’t want her to go, but I’m not going to do that.” I was falling for him all over again and there was really nothing that I could do about it.
I could tease him and push his buttons, but I had a feeling that losing her was going to send him into a tailspin. Eventually, maybe a couple of days or even weeks down the road, I could be that shoulder to lean on. He might see me as somebody that he could talk to and that would lead to some intimate moments. It wouldn’t necessarily be sexual, but it had that possibility of turning a late night get together into something more.
“I know from personal experience that she’s going to hate you. It’s going to be that healthy hate that is going to drive her to become the best chef that she can be. I guess it would be nice if you could end things amicably, but that's usually not how these things go. There’s no reason for you to think twice about this. If you don’t know it, I want you to know that I think that you’re doing the right thing. I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes.” To take his mind off of the impending disaster of his love life, I turned his attention towards business matters.
“I really don’t know what I would do without you. Having you here as a sounding board has given me the courage to see what was right in front of me all along. I sometimes think that I’m blind to the suffering of others. I have the kind of money that can build an empire, but I tend to step on the little guy to do it. With you in my life, Amanda, I see things a little differently than I did before. I actually find myself thinking about other people’s feelings. I would’ve never thought twice had you not been able to resist my charms.” What he didn’t know was that I was trapped by every word that was coming out of his sweet looking lips. That I wanted nothing more than to climb into his lap and see what I couldn’t do it to make him smile.
“It wouldn’t have worked out between us anyway. If Julia is the type of woman that you are attracted to then I didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of being with you.” I heard his voice when I was dreaming and I woke up sweaty and clinging to the sheets for dear life. I was trying to figure out if his interest in me was more than physical. Did he really want me, or was it more that he couldn’t have me?
“I’m a little bit different from other men. My tastes don’t necessarily revolve around women of a certain size. If I see something I like, I tend to jump feet first without thinking about it. With you, I saw that I wanted to find a way to seal the deal between us. You carry yourself with confidence and yet I feel sometimes that you’re struggling with your identity. It’s that vulnerability and strength combined that is hard for me to ignore.” My hands were kneading his muscles and massaging away the pain that he was going to feel from the breakup.
“I can honestly say that I didn’t know that you felt that way. If we could go back to when we first met, I might’ve been able to see through your callous ways. You must have been hiding the real August underneath the way that you chased after me.” I was giving him the idea that I was open to the possibility of something more. I wasn’t exactly coming out and saying it, but the underlying meaning was there.
“There are many paths that we take in life and sometimes we veer off to come back to that same one over again. I don’t want to give you any false promises. I’ve never been able to get you out of my head. There are times that Julia’s talking to me and the only thing that I can think about is you. I know that it’s not right and I should be with her body and soul. I know that I have to finish this with Julia, but do you think that we can talk about us after. I can come over and we can have a cup of coffee and see where things go.” My plan had worked better than I had envisioned.
“The one thing that I don’t want to be for you is that rebound girl. You need to decide if you really want this to work between us. If you can honestly say to yourself that you don’t just want to have sex with me then come over and we can build on that.” We had opened the lines of communication and it was possible that I was going to have him knocking on my door.
He turned quickly, knocking me off balance by swiveling his chair and making me fall in his lap. I squirmed for a moment, but then I settled in with my legs over the arms of the chair. I put both hands on his face, gliding my fingertips over the bristles of his stubble and loving the rough look.
“I really thought the idea of the both of us being together was a dead issue. I feel you on top of me and the heat of your body is causing me to react. You can tell that I’m happy to have you right here in this position. I would love to do more, but I don’t think that I can.” I thought for a moment that he was suffering from some sort of erectile dysfunction. “I mean… I can, but it’s not fair to Julia. I haven’t even told her that it’s time for us to see other people.” This was the kind of man that I could see myself with for more than the fleeting chance of pleasure between the sheets.
“It would be better that you go before I decide to take that decision out of your hands.” I got up reluctantly, brushing my fingertips over his lips and then standing awkwardly like I was going to fall on the cushion of my ass.
“I promise that I will be there tonight. I don’t know what time it will be, but keep a light on for me.” I was giddy with anticipation as the door closed like that one chapter of my life.
I thought that I was dreaming. The conversation seemed so surreal that it was almost like I had manifested it in my head. I looked around and I knew where I was that. I pinched myself and still I didn’t bolt straight up in bed disappointed.
* * *
I wasn’t sure how to prepare for his arrival. I didn’t know when he was going to show up, but that anticipation of what was to come was in the air. There was no denying that if he were to make a pass that I would fall into his arms and show him that I was agiler than I looked. That I could still bend myself certain ways that would make me look like a pretzel.
“I’m guessing that you want me to make myself scarce tonight. I’m glad to see that you were finally able to talk to him. I know that your intention was to manipulate him and on some level, you did, but for the most part, this decision was his own. He needed you to remind him of a few certain details that he wasn’t aware of.” Gemini was in a downward dog position on the floor. I had followed her into that same position and I think that we both surprised ourselves that we could still do this.
“I used my position in his life to find out some things that changed his perspective. I helped Julia to realize that her dream was not to be a doctor. I know that without me that they would still be together, but I doubt that they would have been very happy. Surviving the dating world is not easy for anyone. There are times that we become complacent and end up with someone that is not truly compatible with us. You and I both know that jumping back into something that is familiar is like putting on an old pair of socks.” I thought about my past and the few men that were supposed to be the one.
“Amanda, life is not worth living if you’re not doing something that you love. Julia was stuck on the notion that her family was right. She didn’t have any say in her own future. You helped her to see that she was only pleasing them and not herself. You may have played armchair therapist to the both of them, but in the long run, they will be better off for it. Trust me; I’ve been in relationships where nobody wanted to cut that cord because it was going to be too painful. It’s better to do it as soon as possible or those things that drive you crazy about that person are only going to get on your last nerve. There will be that final straw.” Gemini was wearing blue spandex pants and a sports bra that really didn’t hide what she was given an abundance of.
“I know that this is best for the both of them. It doesn’t make me feel very good about my role in it. I never thought for one moment that I would be some kind of home wrecker. If it was meant to be, I don’t think that there would be anything that I could say that would tear them apart. I let them see the writing on the wall. She’s been determined to make him wait on principle alone. I think that she kept him from going too far because she wasn’t sure that he was the right man for her.” I wanted to convince myself that what I had done was right, but that growing pang of guilt in my stomach was telling me differently.
“I told you that you were only going after him because of your need to have him when you knew that you couldn’t. I’m going to rephrase that. I think that you have always wanted him, but like Julia you were hesitant to see past his bad boy ways. We all want that bad boy, but we are foolish to think that we can really change them. Maybe in this one instance, the man that you claim to be a skirt chaser has found somebody worthy enough to drop the pretense of going after anything with two legs.” Gemini had made her point very clear. I just didn’t know that he was a good man.
“I still can’t believe that this is happening. I keep thinking that it’s an April fool’s joke, but it’s not April. It’s my dream come true. I just feel that somebody’s going to come around to bust my bubble of excitement. You know that I actually went out and bought something scandalous to blow his mind. I don’t even know that I should show you. It really does send a very descriptive message about what I want.” I held the pose, breathing through my nose and out of my mouth. I contracted my core and really felt the burn.
“You have definitely got me curious and there’s no way that I’m leaving until I see it on you. I need you to go into your bedroom and then come out and give me a preview. I want to see just how far you’re willing to go to get your man. There’s no time like the present.” I wanted her to see it and give me her opinion. It was a red and black widow outfit with the garters and bustier to match the ensemble. I even had a pair of sheer stockings that gave my legs that smooth look like he would want to climb with his fingertips up to the heaven awaiting him.
I went into my bedroom and put it on. I looked in the mirror and I really didn’t recognize the eyes looking back at me. There was that desire for August and wearing this was giving me a license to play the naughty card. If this didn’t make him willingly follow me to the bedroom, then I had no idea what would.
I opened the door and I went back into the room feeling a little exposed. I had ruffled my hair giving it that fuck me look.
“I know that it’s a bit much, but it seemed to beg me to buy it from the window. It’s not even a shop that I would frequent. I would be embarrassed if anybody saw me going in and coming back out.” She gave me an appreciative whistle and then she circled me while I stood there wondering what she was going to say.
“If I hadn’t have seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it. You look like you are ready to give this man the time of his life. Those panties do very little to hide anything. I would keep this wrapped up. Make him wait for it and then spring it on him when he least expects it. Use the ruse of going to freshen up and then come out wearing only this. Start off with something more casual like a pair of old sweats that will give him the illusion that nothing’s going to happen. See the disappointment in his eyes and then change all of that with the way that you open the door and give him a reason to crawl to you on his hands and knees.” I just thought that I would open the door when he knocked wearing this outfit and let him decide what he was going to do about it.
Gemini’s suggestion was mulling around in my head and it seemed too delicious to pass up. “I like that idea and I might just steal that for my own purposes. I don’t want to keep you from anything that you need to do. What I mean by that is that I don’t think that it’s a good idea that you’re here when he stops by. I’m sure that you can find something to do or somebody to do.” She smiled at my comment and took out this little black book that had these names of former conquests with the ratings of up to four stars by each name.
“I have a couple of ideas. It’s funny, but the idea of a booty call is something that is a double standard. We can show up at any hour of the day or night and they would gladly open their arms to us. If they do the same thing, we think that they have lost their mind and slam the door in their faces. It’s only in that rare instance that we are as horny as they are when they come looking for some.” I watched as she got ready, putting on her war makeup and looking like a dish best served piping hot.
“I would say that you can come back tonight, but I think that it might be better that you find someplace else to sleep. I’m liable to make some noise that will keep you up. You may not know this about me, but I can be quite vocal when a man knows what he’s doing. You’d be surprised at how many times that I have to direct them to get me there. I don’t think that I’m going to have that same problem with August.” I put on my sweats and you wouldn’t know it from looking at me that there was something lurking underneath the surface.
“Trust me, I’ll find somebody to spend my time with. I think that I’ll start by going to a late supper and see if I can’t get somebody’s eye from across the room. If that doesn’t work, I still have two guys in this little black book that is available for a one night stand. They both know that I’m not looking for any commitment and they are perfectly fine with that. I really did think that emotions were going to play into it, but so far we’ve been able to keep it strictly physical. Hmm…it might be time to introduce the both of them. Can you say Ménage a Trois?” She gave me a hug, telling me that I was a lucky girl and that I shouldn’t take August for granted.
I escorted her to the door and I closed it behind her with my whole-body vibrating. There was no way that I was going to take care of that myself not when it was a possibility that I would have somebody else to do that for me.
* * *
I perused several old magazines; channel surfed and found absolutely nothing that was going to keep my attention for any longer than a few minutes. I kept looking at the clock and the sound of the ticking was driving me insane. Every time that I thought that I heard a noise, I would rush to the window and see if my paramour had come calling. I was turning into a basket case, running through the scenarios that might happen and knowing that I would never be able to come close to reality.
I heard what sounded like a car door slamming. I thought that it might be my neighbor Jensen coming home from a late-night shift at the call center. I heard the footsteps approaching and then the light and unassuming knock on the door. My heart stopped for one moment. I wasn’t sure that I was going to be able to get up to answer him.
I decided not to put on any perfume and I didn’t want him to have the idea that I was ready for more than a conversation. I stepped over to where the only thing that was separating the both of us was the door.
I opened it and was accosted with a dozen long stem roses. I wasn’t much into flowers as a sign of a romantic gesture, but it seemed to work for the occasion.
“I know that this is a bit cheesy, but I saw them and I thought of you.” I made the motion for him to pass through the threshold wondering if one day that he was going to carry me over it as a sign of our matrimonial bliss. I was getting ahead of myself and I hadn’t even mentioned the elephant in the room.
“I have coffee brewing and I thought that you could use it.” I was alluding to the fact that he had just done something painful and the caffeine would give him the jolt of energy that he would need to stand strong
“I arranged for us to meet at the restaurant that we first had dinner together. I didn’t get a chance to say anything and she went into a speech about needing to find herself. I didn’t interrupt and I let her continue until there was only one thing left to do. It was a mutual decision and we promised to still be friends. She told me that she didn’t feel that it was right for me to wait for her or to follow her if my heart wasn’t into it. She wants me to find somebody that is worthy of the changed man that I have become. She actually told me that you were a nice girl and that I should give you a chance.” I was stunned into silence by how Julia had talked me up.
I heard the whistle of the pot and I turned and strolled back to the kitchen. He followed while taking off his jacket and showing the heavy burden that had been lifted from his shoulders. Those were the kind of manly shoulders that could easily be used to carry me into the boudoir.
“It sounds to me like you both had the same idea. I’m assuming from the way that you came here that you are interested in seeing if we have something. I don’t mind telling you that I was jealous of Julia.” I poured him a cup and he took it and placed it up against his lips. There was nothing to say or do. I sat there and let him drink and stare at me with wanderlust in his eyes.
“There hasn’t been a day that has gone by since we’ve met that I haven’t thought about you. It doesn’t matter if it’s dreaming or in the shower or even when we are working so close together that I can smell your natural scent hitting me like a sledgehammer between the eyes. You’ve already expressed some interest in pursuing this. Is that still true, or should I go before we do something that is going to hurt our working relationship?” There was really only one way to answer and it came in the form of me putting down my cup and taking his hand.
“I have thought of nothing else. Let me freshen up and I just finished working out with my friend. I’m not exactly ready for company.” I didn’t make it sound like I was dressing for a night of passion. I wanted him to be totally floored by the vision that was going to step from the bedroom. “Finish your coffee and I won’t be more than a couple of minutes.” I passed by him and I stopped long enough to give him a light and noncommittal kiss on the lips. It was just a taste. Like a drug dealer, the first one was free, but the rest was going to have to come with more of a long-term promise.
I could literally feel him watching me as I walked away. I purposely put an extra swing to my hips to give him ideas.
I went into my bedroom, closed the door and pushed back against it with my heart thumping so hard that I thought it was going to leap from my chest. My hands were shaking as I peeled off the sweater to reveal the red and black bustier. I pulled down my sweat pants revealing the garter and the sheer hose not to mention the panties that I would love to see him pull off with his teeth.
I found my favorite lipstick and painted my lips with a color that was going to draw him to me like a moth to a flame. I felt ready. I didn’t feel like he was just here to plant his flag. He wanted something more substantial than one night where we would throw our bodies at one another for hours on end.
Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself for the moment where he would find it useless to fight me. I opened the door and I stepped out looking towards the kitchen and then I found him with his eyes glued to me.
He said nothing, as he put down his cup and walked over to me. I nuzzled my cheek against his hand. I looked at him and I saw that the man that I wanted was ready to commit to one woman.
“I… I… I was expecting this. I have to say that I’m pleasantly surprised. I hope that I don’t disappoint you. I never want to hurt you purposely. I don’t want you to wake up in the morning wondering what we have done. This will be the first time that I stayed the night and didn’t try to sneak out after the woman went to sleep. I want to stay for breakfast.” This was a bold claim to make and one that I was going to hold him to.
“I’m a little nervous. No… I’m a lot nervous. These last few weeks have made me want you even more. If it took you that long to become the man that I know you can be then I have no regrets. I want to touch you and explore your body from the top of your head down to your toes. I want to take my time to find all of those hidden areas on your body that you didn’t even know about.” I saw that hunger in his eyes and I wanted him to devour me and make me feel like I was the only woman in the world.
“You’re not the only one that’s nervous. For the first time in my life, I’m with a woman that challenges me and I don’t know what to do.” He held my heated gaze and then he put his hands on my hips making me gasp. I was waiting for that inevitable moment where I was going to scream for my neighbors to hear.
I could smell his cologne and the scent of him underneath it. I reached for his belt and I undid it with my hands trembling with the need to see him. I snapped the button open and was about to pull down the zipper when there was an insistent knocking at the door.
“Ignore it and they will go away.” He smiled at my comment and put his hand on my bare shoulder. That touch only elicited a moan of arousal from my lips.
The knocking continued and got louder by the second. Somebody wasn’t taking no for an answer and I was going to give them a piece of my mind. If it was Gemini, I would be so cross that I don’t know that I would be able to let her stay with me. If it was anybody else, then they were going to be lucky that I didn’t become like a feral cat.
“Get rid of them and I’ll meet you in the bedroom.” August disappeared down the hallway and I heard the running water and I knew that he was most likely splashing cold water on his face.
I stood there wanting to join him. I wanted to take him by the hand and drag him by bodily force into the bedroom. I would throw him on that mattress and show him that I was demanding. I wasn’t going to settle for second best. He was going to satisfy me and we were both going to wake up spent and looking at each other with that fire still in our eyes.
I walked toward the door and I stumbled on the high heels that I had forgotten about. They were stilettos. I thought about taking one off and using it as a weapon to admonish whoever was stupid enough to interfere in this moment.
“Come on, Amanda. I know that you’re home. I can see the light on.” The voice had me flashing back to my high school years. Jones Adams was an athlete and girls were throwing themselves at him all the time. He had only eyes for me. I actually lost my virginity on the football field with him and the feeling of a phantom crowd cheering us on. “I’ve been a damn fool and I didn’t know how good I had it. Give me a chance to make it up to you.” I looked towards the door and then back towards the bathroom. My world was colliding in a way that I wasn’t expecting.
This was too much for one woman to handle. I had no voice and when I tried to answer Jones it was more of a squeak that I didn’t recognize. My future was behind door number one and my past was behind door number two. My head was swimming and what I thought was going to happen tonight had taken a dramatic turn.
I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t breathing. I had a decision to make and one way or the other it was going to hurt somebody. I found myself curious enough to walk almost like in a trance towards the front door. I thought about what this could do to my budding relationship with August and it became a moot point. I opened the door still wearing that outfit and not really caring what kind of impression that I was making.
I saw his face and the way that he ran his eyes up and down my body like he always did. It brought back old feelings that I thought were dead and buried. It was late, but I had a feeling that I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. The drama that I was trying to prevent in my life was about to happen with two men that were vying for my affection.
* * *
BOOK 3: STEAL ME (PART 3)
Blueprints of the Past
Amanda Cochran had found the man of her dreams in August. He was what she considered a work in progress. She never did really believe that he could change his ways. Her jealousy had gotten the best of her when she found out that he was seeing another woman. They found themselves confessing their feelings for one another and was about to embark on what could possibly be the best relationship of their lives. That fairy tale was shattered by a voice from the past. She still has feelings for the one that got away. Amanda has no idea what she’s going to do. She’ll have to figure out which man is right for her before going off to China. What happens when August finds out about the man that she never was able to get over?
* * *
“I don’t know what you think you are doing here. I can’t have this conversation with you. You made your feelings abundantly clear on the last day of high school. Do you have any idea how bad I felt when you decided that I wasn’t marriage material? I didn’t fit into that image of the trophy wife that you wanted for your football career.” I couldn’t believe that he was standing there and he hadn’t changed. He still had that cocksure grin. If I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn that he had more muscles than he did back in the day.
“I know that this comes as a bit of a shock, but I never was able to get over you. I have to say that you look better than ever. There has always been something exceptional about you. You have a real quality that shines through like no other girl that I have ever been with.” He was wearing this very expensive black leather jacket. The motorcycle that he drove back when he was seducing anything with two legs was sitting out on the road.
“You can’t come here after all this time and expect me to jump at the opportunity to be with you again. You can’t be that fool of yourself that you believe that I didn’t move on. Didn’t you think that I could find somebody else after you left me to mend my broken heart? Don’t I deserve happiness after what you put me through?” I was wired tight and I knew that August wasn’t going to wait in that room forever.
I was trying to keep my voice down and still consciously aware of looking down the hallway to see if August was going to announce his presence.
“I probably shouldn’t have come over at this time of night, but I just couldn’t help myself. I’ve been involved with a woman for quite some time and I finally told her to hit the bricks. She always had her hand in my pocket. There wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t have my credit card. I’m through living without you. I can’t think of anything else. Why is it that we are whispering? Do you have a child?” It had been years and the possibility of me having children was likely. I just didn’t find anybody that was ready to be father of the year.
“If you must know, we’re whispering because I have a man down the hall in my bedroom. I would really like for you to leave. It would be better that we discuss this in the morning when we both can be rational human beings.” He looked slightly stunned by my revelation.
“Oh, my god… I’m so sorry and I didn’t mean to ruin anything. I would like to know if it’s serious and if I even stand a chance to win you back after all this time. Tell me to leave and never return and I will do that for you. If you can do that with a straight face and mean it then you’ll never see me again.” The words were in my mouth, but when I tried to say them there was nothing there. “I’m going to take your silence as hope that I do have a chance.”
“Amanda, what is taking you so long? I want to use my teeth and tear that thing off of you. Don’t make me pull rank and use my clout as your boss to get you to follow orders.” I heard the door to the bedroom opening and I panicked.
I didn’t even think about it. I opened the closet door and pushed him inside with my finger to his lips to indicate that I wanted him to stay quiet. From the expression on his face, I doubted seriously that this was the first time that he had been caught in the act and had to make a strategic exit.
I leaned back against it, slightly out of breath and turned to see that August was looking at me.
“I know that this is a big step. If you are having second thoughts, I really need to know about them. I don’t want there to be any doubts. I have so many fantasies and you have no idea how hard it has been to be around you without making some sort of move. I think for the most part that I have respected your wishes in regards to a workplace romance. I wasn’t worthy of a woman like you, but I am now.” He was saying all the right things and my heart had filled with the kind of joy that I had never experienced before.
I had no interest in making him leave, but that was not the words that I strung together “I’m not sure about this and I need some time to think about it without you breathing down my neck. I know that’s not fair, but I can’t just jump into bed with you without knowing that your heart is in this. I was foolish to put this on and try to seduce you. You just got out of a relationship. It’s still a fresh wound and I’m taking advantage of that. I think that it would be best that you go before I do something that is not very ladylike. We have time and you know what they say about abstinence making the heart grow fonder.” I didn’t believe a single word of what I said. It sounded like excuses, but I was grateful that he didn’t take it that way.
“I would never want to do anything to make you feel like I’m pressuring you into anything. It was never my intention and I apologize if this is a little bit too quick. You might be right. I haven’t fully grieved for the relationship that I just ended. At least one of us is thinking straight. I’ll go, but I’m not through discussing this.” He gave me a kiss with his hand on the small of my back lingering on that spot that was extra sensitive and the perfect way to make me melt.
“I hope that you don’t hate me.” I was worried that this was going to mess things up. I was going to give Jones a piece of my mind and his walking papers in that order.
“The one thing that I can never do is stay mad at you. I’m a little disappointed. I’m going to have to go up the mango tree with my five little friends tonight.” He indicated his five fingers and the need to take matters into his own hands. It was kind of a waste and I could’ve thought of a lot better things to do with what he had in his possession.
“I’m glad to hear you say that. I’m just confused and I need time to sort things out in my own head. I do care for you deeply and probably more than you know. I just need to be sure that this is forever and not some fling. We owe it to ourselves to make sure that we are that soul mate that we have been searching for. I know that I probably sound like some hallmark card, but I can’t help to want that happily ever after.” I helped him on with his jacket and opened the door. I breathed a sigh of relief to see that the motorcycle that Jones had arrived on was out of sight. It was on the road, but it was underneath the shadow of a tree masking its existence.
“I know that I have no right to ask this. Is there something that you need to tell me? You obviously have doubts, but I sense that there’s something more going on here than meets the eye. I’m not going to push, but my door is always open. Tomorrow is a big day and we meet with Lionel in the morning to go over any changes that he might want to make with the designs that we made for his other three buildings. I really do want you to go with me to China. That is something that you’re going to have to decide for yourself. It could be the beginning of something.” He touched my cheek and I almost grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hallway to the bedroom.
“We have a few days before we leave the city. I still plan on going with you. You need to find some perspective and to really feel the loss of Julia. I know that you said that you ended things amicably, but there has to be a piece of you that is only going to be meant for her.” I closed the door, peeking through the curtains until he was driving away and then I felt a pair of hands on my hips from behind.
“I kinda find it naughty that you are playing the field. It makes me that much more anxious to win you over. Damn, I forgot about these curves and the way that your body screams for the satisfaction that it deserves. You know that we have been intimate. I do have a road map of your body in my mind that I play over and over again. I will never forget the day that we consummated our relationship on the football field. The next day when I took to the field, I couldn’t stop smiling or bringing to life the moment that you cried out in orgasmic joy. I wasn’t exactly pure as the driven snow, but I knew that you were. You took a chance on a man that really didn’t give you any reason to think that I was a one-woman kind of guy. For the rest of that year, we were inseparable and I don’t mean to brag, but I think that I gave you some of the best orgasms of your life.” I wanted to refute his claim, but there was no way that I could without lying through my teeth.
“I can’t do this right now. I need you to leave and to give me space. I will leave you with one thought. You made me feel like I wasn’t worth it to stand beside you in your career. I don’t know how I’m supposed to ever get over something like that. I’ve always struggled with my weight and you didn’t make it any easier by making me think that you were embarrassed to have me in your life.” I’d wanted to say this to him the last day of high school, but I was too naïve and hurt by his betrayal to do much of anything. I could only stare at him as he walked out of my life.
“I apologize for making you feel that way. It wasn’t right and I was stupid to think that I could do better.” I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I closed the door with my heart beating and my palms sweating. I had this need to jump either guy and have my way with them. I was actually thinking that maybe I could have my cake and eat it too, but that would’ve been asking for way too much.
* * *
“I’ve never known you to play two guys against each other. I told you that Jones was going to realize the mistake that he made. I’ve heard all about him and that twinkle in your eye is hard to ignore.” It was 5:00 AM in the morning and I had barged in on Gemini sleeping to get her two cents worth.
“I just don’t know what to do. I thought that I had Jones out of my system, but all those feelings resurfaced when I saw him standing at my door. His voice was like a whisper in the wind. I’m powerless when I’m around him. I thought that I was never going to see him again. August is my future and Jones is my past.” I wanted to believe that, but those memories never did fade over time. Jones had always been the measuring stick that I used when I found myself even remotely in a relationship.
“You say that, but I’m not sure that you really believe that. You have every right to the way that you feel. There was no closure to end your relationship with Jones. This might be your one opportunity to finally tell him that it’s over. I’m a little concerned that you weren’t able to do that last night. It made him believe that you’re not over him. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can give you some of my sage advice. You can’t have both of them no matter what fantasy might manifest in that naughty little mind of yours. It would never work which means that you’re going to have to decide on one or the other. They both have that same attitude toward women. They both think that they are god’s gift. It appears that you have a type. Do you think that the reason why you have been keeping August from getting close is because he reminded you too much of Jones?” I hadn’t thought of that, but now that she had broached the topic it did ring with a bit of truth.
“I’m glad that you’re being the voice of reason. I’m not sure that I could even think straight with the both of them running around in my mind. I really did have the intention of rocking his world last night. I would be right now basking in the afterglow. There’s a part of me that wants to go to Jones and tell him that he needs to leave me alone. I tried last night, but I instead put him off like I was weighing my options.” They both had the capacity to love with all of their heart. It was a no-win situation. Someone was going to get hurt and it was going to be because of me. I wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility.
“Until you figure out what you’re going to do then they both should remain off limits. If it were me, I would test drive both to see which stick feels better. I know that’s not how you do things. You let your feelings take control of you. I think that it’s kinda cute, but also leaves you with a decision to make. Do you take a chance on someone that hurt you like that or do you run off to the orient with August? It all comes down to what you feel right here.” She reached out and touched my heart. I knew that she was right.
“I sometimes find myself turning my back on love completely. I need to break down those walls that I have put up because of Jones. August has done his best to chip through to the other side. I thought last night was finally going to make it crumble for good. I need to find out if the love that I had for Jones is still there. The only way to find out is to spend some time with him alone and in private. You gave me a lot to think about and I appreciate that.” We had been talking for almost 2 hours and it was time for me to get ready for work. It wasn’t going to be easy to get my head in the game.
“Jones is not going to be a part of your past until you are able to finally say that you don’t need him. Don’t get lost in the feelings that you have for him before. You may find out that he’s the same man that you remember. He may look different on the surface, but men don’t change. There’s no way that you could possibly say that you’re the same person that you were when you first met him.” She was sitting there on the couch with that one lone blanket over top of her naked frame. I didn’t ask her to cover up and it felt perfectly natural to speak about my feelings with her wearing only a smile.
“I understand what you’re trying to say. I need to find out if he is a man that I can trust with my heart again. I was a basket case when he left me. It hardened my heart and made me suspect of anyone that wanted to get close. I’m not sure what I’m going to say to August. He deserves the truth and for me to be completely honest for this to work. I want to be that kind of girl and we never did say that this was exclusive. It’s a small distinction and one that I feel horrible to make. I need to get a cold shower and I think you know the reason why. If I don’t do something about this pent up sexual frustration, then I’m not going to be worth much of anything negotiating with Lionel.” She grabbed my hand and it was that strength that I needed to feel like I was breathing normally again.
“Trust in your heart and it will always lead you to the one that you’re supposed to be with. I only wish that I could take that same advice. I would love to have that one that completes me. I’m just not sure that I could settle for one when there is a smorgasbord of different men out there for me to try. I find that life offers wonders that you couldn’t possibly understand unless you lived in my shoes. Going to China is going to allow you to stretch your wings. I am a little jealous of you. I know how it feels to take that leap of faith for the first time. It’s exhilarating and terrifying beyond words.” She did have a unique insight and one that I would be a damn fool not to take advantage of.
“I’m finally going to find out what it is like to live. I do feel that it’s time for me to broaden my horizons. I have to stop living in this little box that I have made for myself. I want that freedom to live for the moment and not just because I have to.” I wanted to go to China, but how could I win this Damocles sword over my head. It was swinging back and forth threatening to destroy everything that I had built with August for something more familiar. Just how familiar that was had never been fully investigated.
I went to the bathroom turning on the water and I stepped under the cool spray to feel that heat that I had for both men diminishing slightly. There was still that lingering ember when I finally emerged. That was never going to go away and being close to either man was going to turn it back up a notch.
I was going to drive myself crazy with all of these what ifs. I left Gemini sleeping yet again. I really did believe that she was contributing in a small way. There were no money exchanging hands, but I wouldn’t have taken her money even if she offered it. She was one of my dearest friends and if she needed something, I was damn well going to be there to give it to her.
Sitting in my car after driving 20 minutes to the office was keeping me immobile with my hands still clasping the steering wheel. The engine was off and I was looking at the front door to the building and trying to will myself to leave the comfort and security of the car.
I heard the knocking on my window and I turned abruptly to see that August had somehow seen me arrive. “I hope that you’re not going to sit in there all day. It was only by luck that I saw you out of my window. I’m sure that you’re feeling nervous, but we need to put that aside for business. Lionel is here and I didn’t want to get into it with him without you standing by my side. You’re the one that’s going to have to decide if you can still work with me. I feel like there is still a lot that we need to say to one another. I took the liberty of making reservations at a small bistro that I think that you’ll like. I want this to work out. I’ve never fought for any woman in my life, but I’m willing to do that for you. I’m just not sure what I’m fighting against.” I took a deep breath, steeled myself for the heat that was generated by us. I opened the door and I stood up in front of him feeling like my legs had turned to jelly.
“I was afraid that you were going to think that I wasn’t worth it.” Jones had given me that feeling in the past. I thought that it was going to be a repeat performance all over again with August. He had said repeatedly that I was his type. It wasn’t my weight that was in contention. It was my reluctance to let him in. I had allowed someone like Julia to step in to show him that it didn’t have to be this hard.
“There is nothing that would make me think that.” August took my hand and led me into the building. I thought that people were weak when they couldn’t say what was on their mind, but now I understood exactly where they were coming from.
“I don’t know how you can say that after everything that I’ve done. I haven’t made it easy for you. I find that time is fleeting. You never know what’s going to happen next. It’s that uncertainty that drives people to do some of the most insane things. That’s where the bucket list comes into play. That’s why people feel that it’s necessary to do things before that final judgment day.” I had purposely worn something that showed very little skin with the button of my blouse all the way up to the neck. I looked more like a librarian that had too many cats and no love life to speak of.
“It sounds very Biblical and I’ve never been much for religion. I want you to know that you can say anything to me.” He had already given me the impression that he knew that something was going on. He wasn’t trying to fix things and he just wanted to be somebody that I could talk to. It wasn’t sure how that was going to work.
“I have enough friends and I don’t need one more. I don’t mean to be harsh, but I want something that is going to keep me guessing until the day that I die. I want a man that continually surprises me and pushes me creatively in and out of the bedroom. You do that for me on one front and I don’t think that I could feel any luckier even if I wanted to.” We went up in the elevator and I was tempted to push him up against the wall like he had done to me. I felt that it might be time to turn the tables.
“Lionel looks happy, but you can never know with his poker face. I told him that I didn’t want to know his insights until you were able to be there to hear them for yourself. I don’t think that he appreciates the value that you bring to this business. He’s accepting of it, but I’m not sure that he fully has it in him to give you the kind of respect that you deserve.” I didn’t need his assurances. I was a big girl and I could take any kind of criticism with a grain of salt. Everybody had their opinions. It didn’t necessarily mean that one or the other was right.
* * *
Lionel was quite receptive to the changes that we had made for his other three buildings. He didn’t have any other projects and that was good considering that we were going to be leaving the country very shortly. I was still worried that I wasn’t going be able to follow him to this wonderful new adventure on the horizon.
I sat here picking at my food and not having much of an appetite. Everything smelled delicious and what I did sample made me a believer. I kept looking up at him bashful and shy about what was going to come out of my mouth next.
“Is this too much? It is a bit silly of me to think that romance is the answer to all of our problems.” I didn’t know what to say and I could tell from the glaring expression of the chef peeking through the door that he wasn’t very happy that I was doing him a disservice by not eating his food.
It was very romantic with checkered tablecloths and a lone candle to light the way to my heart. I could see other couples in the dim light of their candles showing affection by touching hands and looking longingly into each other’s eyes. Every time that I tried to stare into August’s eyes it made me feel guilty and I had to turn away.
“I hope that you don’t take any offense, but I’m really not that hungry.” I pushed the plate aside and then I took a deep breath and willed myself to walk from the shadows into the light. “There’s somebody else. He showed up unexpectedly. God help me… I have feelings for two men. I feel like I should just let both of you go for your own sake. I should be alone and you certainly don’t need this drama. I thought that it best that I tell you so that you know what you’re up against. This is not a new relationship. This is the one that got away. I sound like a storyline from one of those daytime soap operas.” He looked like I had just told him that his pet had died.
He put his fork down with a piece of Angus beef still clinging to the tines. He picked up his wine and took a sip. That sip turned into one swallow after another until he had drained it down to the last drop. I could see that he was trying to remain calm. He did not look very happy and that awkward silence was killing me.
“I’m glad that you told me. It says a lot for our relationship that you are willing, to be honest. I can’t tell you how to feel. Working with you has been easy. Being with you has been hard, but I thought that we were on the right track. Can you at least tell me how you are leaning in one direction or another? I shouldn’t even ask and putting you on the spot is not going to help matters any. If I thought that it would do any good, I would call him out to a duel with the last man standing to get the lady.” It was nice of him to think in that antiquated way, but it also reminding me that I was dealing with more than enough testosterone. Putting them together would only cause a fight that might end up with the both of them in the emergency room.
“I do feel better for getting that off my chest, August. Jones is the one that I thought I was going to end up with. I had our wedding planned down to the tiniest detail. I’m sure that a lot of girls in their teenage years had that fantasy. He told me that he loved me and I believed him. It was after graduation that he finally admitted that he thought that he could do better. He didn’t come out and say that it was because of my size, but I knew that was the underlying reason.” Thinking back on that day was the hardest thing that I had ever done in my life. I thought that he was better than those guys that laughed behind my back or said things underneath their breath that was a little disparaging.
“I would really like to have a word with him in private. Give me 5 minutes alone with him and I promise that he will apologize for his actions. I can’t be responsible for his safety, but I will beat an apology out of him for you.” I felt like he was my knight in shining armor ready to ride to my rescue on his white steed.
“It would do no good for either one of you to be in the same room together. This has nothing to do with the two of you. This has everything to do with the way that he made me feel and the way that you make me feel. He is that blast from the past that stopped us from showing our feelings last night. I was stupid to throw him into the closet, but I can assure you that he did not stay after you left. I told him that I needed time.” I wanted him to know everything, so there weren’t any surprises that were going to make him see me as some kind of a conniving bitch.
“There comes a time in everybody’s life that we reevaluate. It could be that Jones lost his way and he thinks that you might be the path to redemption. There’s just one thing that I need to know. If this is love between us, then why does it scare me out of my mind? I’m still trying to figure how I ever won your love. What did I do and what did I possibly say that made you think that I can be trusted? You make me want to be a better man. I want to be someone worthy of the kind of love that you can give me every day. I don’t like this feeling of not knowing.” I was worried that he was going to put an end to this before it began.
“I haven’t made any decisions. I promise that you will be the first to know. I’m going to go out on a limb and tell you that I’m going to see him again. I think that I need to know if what I felt for him was real or something that was more of a crush. You don’t have to like it, but you need to give me that time to find out. I’m going to do everything in my power to give you the answer that you need before we leave. I wouldn’t even dream of putting you in a position to work with me if things didn’t work out. If that were to happen, I will gladly give you my resignation, so that we don’t have to see each other ever again. It’s obvious to me that you can do this alone, but I will say that working with you has been a learning experience in more ways than one. We do seem to bring the best out of each other and sometimes the worst. It all goes hand in hand.” Now that I had unburdened my soul, I was getting my appetite back. I devoured everything on my plate and found the sauce to be something that I wanted to bring home to cook with.
I turned with one eye to see that the chef was elated that I had finally given his food a raving recommendation. I thought that he was going to rush over to the table and say something. It probably took all of his willpower not to do that, but he left us to finish our meal.
I saw a side of August that I thought that I would never see again. He had polished off that bottle of wine. I was quite impressed that he was able to handle his liquor in that way.
“I know that look and I don’t appreciate it. I need something to keep me from getting down on my hands and knees and grabbing your ankle to never let you go. I won’t stoop to that level for any woman. If you don’t like what you’ve got, then you have every right to change it. I thought that we had something special. I still want to believe that with all of my heart. I don’t want to go back to who I was before. Don’t get me wrong, that man could get any woman to see him as some kind of Lothario. I can put on that face like I’m putting on a pair of pants, but it doesn’t fit right anymore.” I felt bad that I was hurting him. I wanted to soothe away his pain with soft kisses and a moonlight walk, but that would’ve been screwing with his head.
“I never want to make anybody feel that they are in a losing battle. You have more than a chance. I feel deep down that Jones is only here to make me appreciate what I already have. I think that somebody up there wants me to find the closure to put an end to that chapter of my life.” I knew that it sounded like I was purposely giving him false hope. I had this need to tell Jones to step off, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when we came face to face. I’d already shown myself to be unreliable by letting him think that he even had a chance.
“We all have to do what we have to do. I will wait for you. I won’t be able to wait for you forever. Going to China was supposed to be that big adventure to strengthen our relationship. I will hold out that will still happen until the very day that you tell me that I’m not the one for you. I can’t see that happening, but I need to prepare myself for the worst-case scenario.” He ordered another bottle of wine and then we left there with him holding it like some sort of rummy.
“The only thing that is missing is the brown paper bag.” I was only teasing, but it was way too early to poke fun.
“I’m going to go home and cry in my beer. I’m not literally going to cry, but I get this feeling that I’m not going to feel much of anything in the morning. You might find that I’m a little late to the office. I’m sure that you can handle things on your own until I come in later in the afternoon. It’s a little too hard to be around you when I feel you slipping away. You don’t show me the same fire in your eyes. There’s still something there, but it’s not as strong or undeniable as it was.” He flagged down a taxi and there was no way that he was going to be able to drive in his condition.
I looked down at my watch and I knew that Jones was most likely waiting for me. I had arranged for both of us to sit down in a quiet setting where nobody was going to interrupt. I needed to grill him mercilessly on his intentions and why after all this time that he decided to come here. There had to be a reason and I didn’t buy for a second that it was because a relationship had gone sour.
“I’m not even going to ask you what you are going to do with the rest of your evening. I get the feeling that I already know and that’s the reason why I’m probably going to have this bottle of wine half done before I even get back to my building.” I felt like I had to reach out to him but for the time being, I had to let him go.
I put my hand on the window to the taxi and he placed one finger against mine through the glass. He was shaking his head back and forth in obvious disbelief that he had gotten involved with a woman that had another to fall back on.
I needed this time to clear my head and to come up with the right words that I was going to say to Jones. That man had always had the ability to make me feel like I was somebody else. He could lift me out of any depression with a whisper in my ear. There were a lot of other things that he could get me to do.
I stood in front of the coffee shop and he was right there nursing a cappuccino. I got a little closer to the window and I was appalled by what he was looking at on his phone. Those were photos that he had said that he had deleted. We got a little silly one night and I showed a bit more skin than I was meaning to at such an impressionable age. He was playing photographer for some high-priced magazine and I was his subject. I was aghast to learn that he was keeping them for posterity.
I had my hand up to my mouth in shock. They were very intimate poses that were not unlike what you would see in penthouse. I should’ve known that he was never going to delete the last and final reminder of our time together. It did make me feel a little better. It was sick, but keeping those photos showed that I wasn’t out of his heart or his life.
I didn’t know if I should confront him about the photos. I didn’t like the idea that he could show them to anybody and that was precisely the reason why I had asked him to delete them. He was reluctant and told me that he was only going to use them for inspiration. I knew exactly what he meant by that and it was kind of gratifying to know that I was the fuel for the fire. It seemed unlikely that he wouldn’t share that bit of history with some of his so-called friends.
* * *
I had to take a few minutes to compose myself and make myself less angry by this latest betrayal. He was always saying one thing and doing another. I thought that little boy mentality was erased, but it was raising its ugly head yet again.
I stepped into the coffee shop and he immediately shut things down with this guilty expression on his face. He never was able to hide things from me, but that didn’t stop me from loving him. I’m not even sure that I knew what love was back then. He did say those three little words. There was no real conviction behind them to indicate that he truly believed that he was in the presence of the one that was going to make him happy for the rest of his life. I was dreaming to think that I had him wrapped around my little finger.
“I could have thought of something better for us to do than sit here and drink coffee all night. Do you remember the massage that I gave you out of the blue? I can see from the way that you are looking at me and the way that your face has flushed with embarrassment that you do remember. I remember vividly the way that my hands felt on your skin as I glided them over with that warm oil between my fingertips. I remember the way that you made that sound that always got to me.” I had the tendency to giggle like a schoolgirl when I got overly excited. I had tried to suppress that when I was with August, but I knew that deep down that it was going to come out eventually.
I went to retrieve a cup of coffee that was black with no sweeteners or cream. I needed that jolt of caffeine to keep me alert. I had to prevent myself from falling for his bull shit.
“I remember a lot of things about back then. I seem to recall that you had eyes for another before I even met you. I knew all about you, but I never thought that you would give me the time of day. It was only when I found that note in my locker that I found out that you were harboring a crush on me. I thought that you were joking and that it was some way to make me look like a fool in front of all of your classmates.” I remembered the old truck and the way that we had steamed up the windows to keep warm.
“What can I tell you, I know what I like and that body is a sinful work of art that needs to be appreciated by the right man. I could certainly use that body as a canvas for some of my unique paintings. I never did think that I had an artistic side. I needed some way to get out of my head before a big game and my coach turned me on to painting. I’m a bit more impressionist and I like certain colors that go together. Your skin tone is perfect for my breast…brush stroke. Would you consider posing for me?” I wasn’t sure that he was saying this to get me naked or if he was being genuine and sincere with his offer. I’d always wondered what it would be like to be with someone with an artistic flair. I could tell even back then that there were hidden layers to the man.
“You know my answer. I only came here to set things straight. I gave you the impression last night that you had a chance. I’m just not sure that it’s true. I don’t mean to be flippant about your feelings, but I’m not sure that you really came here to see me for the right reason. I don’t want to go pulling at that thread, but I think that I have to for my own sanity.” He tried to reach for me and that was always his way of making me lose my train of thought.
“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to believe that I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I even have the photos to remind me. Before you say anything, I couldn’t delete them not when you made such a pretty picture. I can’t say that I haven’t shown them to others. I will say that their comments were favorable. I wanted them to see you as I did. I wanted them to see you like none of my friends could. Men are ready to accept women with your unique body type. I thought that I was the minority, but I think that you found out guys like a little bit more meat on the bone.” I was stunned that he even told me about the photos. I thought that I was going to have to pry that bit of information out of him the hard way.
“I don’t like that you have shown them to anybody. It embarrasses me that those photos are even out there. If you were any man at all, you would do me the honor of deleting them in front of me. I don’t think that you can…” I didn’t get a chance to finish the thought as he turned the phone and began to delete one photo after the other.
“I don’t need them when I have the real thing right in front of me. They were a pale comparison to the real thing. They were a reminder of something that I left behind and should’ve gone back for to retrieve a long time ago. I don’t know how many times I actually picked up the phone and was ready to call you. They were mostly during drunken binges, but they say that true feelings emerge when you let your inhibitions fall away. I did call you one time. I heard you talking on the other end of the line, but I couldn’t say anything.” I remembered a call that was anonymous with somebody heavy breathing a couple of years ago. I knew that there was something oddly familiar about the heavy breathing.
“I thought that was some teenage prank or maybe somebody that was stalking me. You scared me and I don’t think that somebody that claims to love me would do that.” We finished our coffee and we took a long walk with the lights of the city lulling me into a false sense of security.
“I didn’t even know that I was going to find you. I had to call around to make sure that you didn’t slip through my fingers again. I was never the romantic type guy. I didn’t go into candlelight and long walks on the beach. I showed you my affection with actions instead of words. I don’t think that your parents’ bed is ever going to be the same again. We really did work out those springs. I’ve never met a woman that enjoyed it as much as you did. You know what I have. There’s no reason why we can’t revisit the past. I can show you what you have been missing with no strings attached.” It was tempting and I did see the snake trying to escape its cage.
“I don’t think that’s appropriate under the circumstances. I do find myself curious to know if my recollection is exactly as I remember it.” He turned suddenly and pushed me up against an alley wall. He moved in with his lips very near to touching mine. I could smell the scent of the man and it brought me back to a time that I thought that I was the happiest that I could ever be.
“It’s not like I’m going to tell anybody. Go ahead and see if you can resist once you get a load of me. Are you that afraid to find out?” He was making a valid point and one that I was desperate to disprove.
“You are incorrigible and you have always been someone that took chances. You have always been able to push me into doing things that were against my better judgment. I’m not complaining. I do look back on those times fondly, but also with a bit of surprise to know that I was even capable of such a thing.” I had reached out and touched that part of him. One hand grabbed onto the bulge. I felt it and I wanted to see it. There was no way that anybody was going to stop me. I frantically undid the belt on his pants and pulled down his zipper.
My breath was short with that anticipation that came from knowing that I was going to see him in all his glory. I put my hand through the opening in the zipper and found the heat of his loins most appreciative of my attention. I used the other hand to undo the button of his pants. I pulled his shirt out of his pants and run my hands underneath to strike a fire by grazing his nipples with my fingernails.
“I knew that she was in there somewhere. You can’t hide that woman from me. More importantly, you can’t hide it from yourself.” I was biting my bottom lip, making him moan by pinching those hardened buds. I only had to glance down to see that his enlargement was pumping with a life of its own. “You know that you want to and there’s nothing stopping you. I’m certainly not going to put up any kind of resistance. You owe it to yourself to find out one way or the other.” He was using psychology against me and the closure that I was looking for was close at hand.
Holding my breath, I moved one hand along the waistband of his underwear. My tongue was sticking out of my mouth. I stuck my hand down and found myself holding onto this scorching piece of pipe.
“I can’t believe that I’m doing this. You are such a bad influence. I have a good mind to spank you. Something tells me that you would enjoy that too much.” I had a hold of him and the slippery surface at the top of the head was leaving behind a profound reminder of our time together. It was sticking to me and I licked my lips with that need to give him the benefit of my oral expertise.
“I am a bad influence and don’t you forget it. The power is in your hands literally and figuratively. What you do with it is up to you. I do love the way that you touch me and it always drives me wild to the point of not been able to sit still. I recall the way that you gave me a hand job in the bleachers underneath the jacket that I was using to conceal what we were doing. It didn’t take much to get you to be more adventurous. I saw that same adventurous spirit when you opened up the door wearing that outfit.” I was stroking the length of him, feeling how solid he was and what I could do with it.
“There isn’t a man alive that has been able to make me do something like this. I would not look that smug. It’s very unattractive to see you think that you have that kind of hold over me.” He did have the ability to make my motor run. The motorcycle was a good way to get me ready to throw caution to the wind. The vibration underneath me ignited that passion and he knew exactly what he was doing.
“I’m a patient man, Amanda. My cock, on the other hand, is a little bit impatient. It sometimes has ideas of its own.” He proved that by flexing that piece of hardware. The vein in the back was throbbing against my palm.
It wasn’t hard to recognize that his excitement was boiling over. A few more strokes and I would be leaving him with something more to remember me by than just a kiss. I was ready to see his climactic end. I think that I would’ve gone through it had it not been for the flash of those headlights that brought me back to reality.
I was caught in those lights like a deer in the headlights. I stared at those lights and then I looked back at what I was doing and I knew that I had gone completely overboard. I took my hand away with the look of his love muscle ready to explode. The color was a purple hue of excitement that was hard to deny.
He grabbed my wrist and wouldn’t let go. I had forgotten that he could be quite forceful when he didn’t get what he wanted. It wasn’t like he had done anything to make me feel like I was threatened in any way
“There’s no way that you can possibly leave me like this. That’s cruel and I thought that you were better than that. I taught you how to be the woman that I wanted. There was no guesswork.” I thought back on that time and he was right. I had no mind of my own and I let him guide me by the nose.
“You make that sound like it’s a good thing. I forgot what kind of man you are. I still feel that I can easily fall into the past. Your body is not exactly easy to walk away from. I’m just not sure if I’m that girl anymore. I want something better. What we had was one-sided and I don’t see that changing. I don’t see you changing and that’s the problem.” I’d found out what Gemini was trying to impart on me. Jones had the chiseled good looks and that smile that could send me into hysterical fits of insane laughter. He also was a man that had to have it his way or no way at all.
“I’m not done. I will not give up without a fight. The last thing that my father told me was to never let a moment go by that you didn’t cherish the one that you loved. He was the reason why I had to set my sights on you. He made me remember the girl that had only eyes for me. That type of devotion is something that I have been missing.” It was all starting to make sense. His father was a big influence in his life and losing him quite unexpectedly had sent him into a tailspin.
“I’m sorry for your loss. I think that I understand the motivation for you coming here now. I can’t be your lifeline. I can barely take care of myself let alone somebody else. I don’t even own a cat or plant because I know that they would die under my care. I can’t mend what is broken inside you.” I wanted to in the worst way possible, but that was something that he was going to have to do himself.
“I’ve always wanted to make my father proud. The only two things in my life that made sense were him and you. Everything else was window dressing including any woman that was unfortunate enough to find themselves in my bed. I need to give you a reason to believe that I have changed.” He left me standing there, as he zipped up and walked back to his motorcycle with helmet in hand.
He still had the flowing dark locks that gave him the appearance of some rebel without a cause. He revved the motor and I automatically could feel my legs quake with the memory of how it felt to have that beast underneath me.
* * *
“I have to give you credit for being able to pull yourself away from that. I don’t know if I could have walked away in your shoes. I’m not a woman, but I have had a couple of girlfriends that could be that bad influence.” I found August in the office and I told him about my impromptu meeting with Jones.
“I shouldn’t drop this in your lap. I could’ve easily told Gemini all of this, but I think that she would have told me that I should have taken one for the team. She has always stressed that the only way that I’m going to find closure is by getting underneath him or on top of him or having him come up from behind.” I thought for sure that he would run from the room, but August had shown this strength of character that I wasn’t expecting.
“I don’t like that you put your hand on another man, but I wasn’t there. You tell me how you felt. You told me the details, but you never did go into specifics about what it is that you felt when you were touching him like that. That will tell you everything that you need to know. It will also tell me if I even stand a chance at taking you out of his hands.” He sat there with his eyes glazed and still feeling the effects of the bottle of wine that he had consumed.
“At the time, I thought that my feelings had gotten the best of me. The trouble with Jones is that he thinks that any woman is powerless to resist him. I was like that, but I don’t fall for the pretty packaging anymore. There has to be more than physical attraction. It would be nice to have one last time with him to say goodbye, but I don’t think that I need it.” I wasn’t sure what would have happened if those lights hadn’t caught me in the act. I didn’t tell him that part. He would read too much into it.
“It sounds like you have made a decision. Do I take it that I should make the arrangements for two instead of one to go to China? They were very impressed with our preliminary drawings. They are setting us up in a private suite for the duration of our stay. They want us to be comfortable. They told us if we needed anything that we only had to ask. This project is going to be an undertaking. It was only supposed to be a couple of months, but they have expressed interest in a more long-term commitment. It could be that we will never come back here again. Are you sure that you are ready for this? We never did discuss how leaving everything behind was going to make you feel.” I wasn’t sure how to process this. Two months sounded like a vacation. The rest of my life sounded like I was running away from something.
“I am glad that you were willing to listen without going off the handle. I know that Jones wouldn’t have been able to do the same thing. He would have found it necessary to do something about this attraction that I have for you. He knows about you, but I don’t think that he feels threatened. I think that he’s taking you lightly. I’m not taking you lightly and the way that my heart jumpstarts every time that I see you is a clear indication that I’m where I’m supposed to be.” Seeing him sitting there made it easy to envision draping my legs over the arms of that chair and giving him a very dirty lap dance.
“I just want to remind you that I’m not your girlfriend. I’m willing to hear what you have to say, but it still hurts me to think of you with him. I’m just going on the record. It doesn’t come as any big surprise to you that I’m a bit jealous of the connection that you have with him” He was being honest and that was what I had asked of him. That didn’t mean that I had to like what he had to say.
“I’m not going to lie and say that having you both fight for me hasn’t been a dream come true. It does stroke my ego to think that I have two guys that like me that much that they are willing to do practically anything. I would say that you are a front runner. I don’t see how he could ever hold a candle to you.” The only thing that could make any difference was some kind of grand gesture that was going to catch me by surprise. I didn’t have any worry about that with Jones. He was not the type to go outside of his comfort zone. He could never do anything to embarrass himself or the image that he had built over the years in the NFL.
“Oh goody… I’m a frontrunner…that makes me feel all good inside. I think I’ll hold off on making those arrangements until you can convince me that I’m the only one that’s going to turn your head. You can look all you want and I’ve been guilty of that myself. I just need to know that you will be coming home to me and not shacking up with Jones in his love nest.” He looked damn good in that suit, but I had a feeling that he would look even better out of it.
“I would go ahead and make the arrangements. Jones doesn’t know how to step out on a limb. He’s stuck in his ways and there’s no way that he will ever want to tarnish his reputation for being a ladies’ man. That kind of arrogance is not going to win him the kind of woman that is going to be with him for more than his money. He only came here in a knee-jerk reaction to his father’s death. In my opinion, that’s no way to rekindle an old romance that fizzled a long time ago.” I held his gaze. August looked at me and I could almost see what he was thinking.
“I want to believe that, but I’m not entirely convinced. I won’t be until we are far away from here where I can have you all to myself. I don’t know much about the Chinese culture, but you do. I look forward to putting myself into your capable hands. I was a little apprehensive about this, but I think that I’m feeling more excited than anything else. It’s time to shake things up and living in the past doesn’t do anybody any good.” He was talking about himself, but I had a feeling that his comments had a double-edged sword.
“I do think that we should refrain from being together. However, if you were to permit me, I think that you and Jones should be on a level playing field. Besides, I knew what I was getting when I put my hand down his pants. I don’t know that about you. I would really like to find out. You have no idea how much I want to find out.” He thought that I was putting him on. He found out differently when I stood up and went around to his side of the desk.
“I really wish that you stop. I’m not sure that I can be trusted once you get your hands on me.” It was a risk that I was willing to take and one that was destined to happen sooner than later.
“If I were in your position, I would keep my mouth shut in case you say something to ruin the moment.” I draped my legs over the top of him and I sat down with my panties rubbing up against his formidable appendage. “There comes a time that you need to say nothing at all.” I unbuttoned his shirt, feeling this sensation down below that was making it very hard to hide my arousal.
“I wasn’t expecting this. I want to stop you, but I don’t think that I can.” He had his hands to his side as if he didn’t know what to do with them. It was nice to have him ensnared in my web of depravity. I felt this liberation from the way that I was acting. It certainly wasn’t in my character to be this brazen and bold.
I pulled the shirt out from his pants and I peeled back that Egyptian silk to reveal his hardened exterior. I ran my finger down along his pectorals, circling his navel and then I traced the outline of his six-pack like they were a roadmap to his pleasure zone.
“I don’t want to get too carried away. I’m going to depend on your discretion. You’re going to have to tell me when it’s enough without going too far.” I wasn’t sure if he could make that distinction.
“If you are expecting me to put a stop to this, then you’re going to be waiting a very long time. This is where you show me what you want me to do. If you want to walk away there is nothing that I can do about that. I have been waking up in cold sheets for too long.” I moved back slightly. I was able to reach his belt and had it come undone underneath my agile fingers.
“I’m going by feel and trusting my senses.” I undid his button and I pulled down his zipper very slowly with him staring at me the entire time. It was that animal inside that was forcing me to take this to the next level.
“There’s no point in me saying anything. You’ve made up your mind and I see that wild horses aren’t going to keep you from doing what you want to do. Looking at you makes me believe in miracles.” I could see and I could feel the product of his desire for me. His underwear was the only obstacle in my way. I wasn’t going to let that be a deterrent.
His black briefs were quite snug and left very little imagination to what he was sporting. I traced it down the length on either side without touching it. I finally had enough and I pulled down those shorts to reveal the magnificence of the man. It was quite daunting and thicker than I imagined. It really was a work of art that was worthy of my admiration. I was almost afraid to touch it thinking that it was some sort of optical illusion.
“This is a little unusual, but I’m going to allow it.” He sounded like he was a judge ruling over the court that he was presiding over.
“I can’t believe I have allowed you to sit in dry dock all this time. It seems unnecessary for you to use your own hands when I have two of my own. I’m going to try to control myself, but I’m not promising anything.” I thought that I was shy, but given enough rope, I could run with it.
I hadn’t touched it and I moved closer until I could literally feel the heat from his over exaggerated state. That thing was immense, but I was not going to shy away from it. I grabbed it and I heard him gasp. That was only making it that much harder to let go. I had my hand wrapped around him and my fingers didn’t meet. It was quite an impressive piece. I was sure that it had given a lot of ladies more than enough satisfaction to last them a lifetime.
“Be…careful and I might be just a... a…hair trigger ready to go off. I’ve been thinking of this moment and this is not how…how…I thought things were going to go. This goes well and beyond anything that I could come up with. You have shown yourself on several occasions to think outside the box, but not in this way.” his voice was strangled and he was struggling to keep still.
I moved my hand slowly up to the top and then I used my thumb to make him grunt his approval. I circled around the head and then I moved back down to the very bottom. I did this a few times with him trying to thrust out of his seat.
“If you can’t sit still then maybe I should just stop altogether.” It was that threat and promise that made him settle down and be a good boy. There was really nothing good about him and it was his bad boy image that had me fighting this every step of the way.
My resolve had collapsed and I wasn’t sure what it was going to take for me to leave him to finish this off. I felt like I had to see this through to the end. I finally felt him shudder and I could’ve given him exactly what he wanted, but I had enough strength to let go.
“Now I know what Jones felt and it doesn’t feel very good. You might have gotten interesting thrill out of playing with the both of us, but I can’t say the same thing. It was nice, but it was a reminder that I still might not have you. You say differently, but there’s always that possibility that something will turn you in his direction. I don’t know what that is going to be. I hope that he never finds that special spot that belongs to me.” I was still sitting on his lap and that hungry looking serpent was ready to lash out and strike against any warm body that came into his path.
I walked away backward, keeping my eye on him as he sat there with his member now out of sight. I closed the door and I knew that teasing him would only be a stall tactic. I was looking forward to taking things past the teasing stage. I had to make sure that the past wasn’t going to interfere.
* * *
I couldn’t bring myself to go back into the office and I sent him a text message to tell him that I would be there at the Airport in two days. I wanted to make him wait on pins and needles to see if I was going to show up or not.
I’d made the preparations by putting my condominium up for grabs in the market. The for-sale sign was out on the lawn and I was going to miss this place more than I could ever say. Gemini wasn’t very happy that I was letting it go. I’m sure that she would’ve paid for it, but she didn’t have that kind of money.
“It looks like you made up your mind, but I think that something might change it.” She didn’t have to tell me. I heard the rumble of the motorcycle and the way that the engine turned off. It sent a thrill through my bones and I shivered at the very thought of how I had used that piece of machinery to drive me out of my mind.
“I don’t know what he thinks that he’s proving. I know who he is and I have no interest in playing that game.” He was still wearing the black leather jacket, but no longer was he holding onto that casual image with blue jeans. He was wearing a suit of all things and looked ready to proclaim that this was his Independence Day.
“You have to admit that he does have a bit of class. He probably felt that you poured cold water in his lap and yet here he is ready to valiantly try again. I don’t know how you got so lucky to have both of these guys looking at you with hunger in their eyes. I don’t even have one and you have two. It’s not like you can hide from this. You’re going to have to hear him out.” I could easily hide, but that would only be sending the wrong message. I had to face this and be strong enough to let him say his peace. I was hoping that I would get that chance myself.
“I don’t want you to leave. Stay in my bedroom and only come out when I call for reinforcements. He has this funny way of leaving me speechless. I think about some of those things that we did and I find myself lazily touching myself in the middle of the night. I wouldn’t even be thinking about him at all if I saw fit to take August for a test drive.” I heard that knock on the door and wearing the face of conviction, I went to answer it with my jeans already quite moist from the sound of that engine revving.
I opened the door and I didn’t even let him get a word in edgewise. I lambasted him for being callous enough to think that he could come back here and win me. “You can see that I’m leaving. You would think that would be some kind of hint. What is it that I can do for you, Jones?” He tried to get around me, but my foot was in his way leaving him to profess his love with the whole neighborhood watching. They weren’t really watching, but it did feel that way.
“I thought that I would make one last effort. I can’t leave without doing this.” He grabbed me and I gave out this startled gasp that was followed by his tongue stabbing into my mouth. I vainly slapped at his chest hoping that would be enough to get him to let me go, but it wasn’t.
The fight that I had was draining significantly with the way that he was touching the top of my palate and sending signals down below. My legs gave out by the sheer pleasure of him kissing me and running his hands down my spine. If it wasn’t for him, I probably would have crashed landed on the floor.
I heard clapping and he finally let me go with two of my neighbors giving what I considered a standing ovation. They were the gossip of the neighborhood and there was no way that this wasn’t going to get around like wildfire.
My lipstick was smeared across his mouth and he was licking that strawberry gloss and smiling like he had done something to change my opinion of him. I immediately grabbed him by the collar of his starched shirt and pulled him into the entrance.
I turned away from him pretending that I was disgusted by his behavior and secretly wanting that kiss to last longer than it did. “I don’t know what you are doing, but that was uncalled for. You know that I have feelings for another man. Just because I don’t have a ring on my finger doesn’t mean that you can manhandle me like some sort of brute.” My voice was a little raised and I was hoping that Gemini was going to interject her thoughts. Unfortunately, I got the impression that she wanted me to handle this on my own. I had to do that or I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror the same way again.
“You can’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything. That is not the kind of passion that you can fake. I know that you have another man that you are interested in, but I don’t care. Like you’ve already said, you don’t have a ring on your finger and even if you did, I doubt that would even stop me. I know what I want. You showed last night that you were ready for more. Again, you can’t fake the eagerness in your eyes when you had me in your hand.” He was throwing that back in my face and I didn’t think that was fair. It was appropriate considering that I was the one that was doing all of that under my own free will.
“You have always been a good kisser and there has never been any reason to deny that. It doesn’t mean that I’m ready to go backward. Being with you is a mistake. I should’ve seen it a long time ago, but you really did throw me for a loop by coming back into my life.” I looked at my watch and I knew that I was going to be late to the airport.
“I wasn’t the only one kissing. That wasn’t one-sided even though you profess differently. You fought me, but then you sank into it and enjoyed every moment. Even your neighbors saw that you were into it.” He was beating a dead horse. If I didn’t do something radical and extreme, then he was just going to think that this kind of behavior was going to be tolerated.
“It gives you no right to touch me like that without my permission. You need to grow up and stop acting like the same teenage heartthrob that you were in high school. Those days are over and you can’t go back no matter how much you want to. I understand that your father dying made you willing to commit. It’s just not going to be with me.” I could still see him naked and it did very little for the temperature in the room.
“My father was one small part of the reason why I came to see you. His words echoed in my ears. I know that I have been wasting my life on those girls that are only with me for my money. I never felt like I was shortchanged when I was with you. There was something real about what we had. I’m not sure that I will ever find that again.” He was afraid of being alone. It made me feel for him.
I took him by his two hands and made him sit down with me sitting on my knees. “I think that it’s a good thing that you know that you can’t stay the same. You need to find somebody that is going to be more than eye candy. I wish that I could be that for you. I’m sure that if things were reversed that you would be telling me the same thing. There’s no point in grasping onto a piece of the past. I’m lucky that I found a man that was accepting of my flaws and vice versa.” His last-ditch effort to win me back had failed.
“I really do feel stupid for coming here. This was supposed to be a gesture. A reminder of what we had and could have again. I see now that it’s not what you want. It can’t be what I want no matter how much I want to cling to the old times. I want a family and I swear that I’m not going to rest until I find the woman that is going to make me feel the same way that I feel about you.” He stood up, gave me a hug that was more friendly than the kind of embrace that I would have expected from him.
“I want you to be happy. Another time and place, we might’ve been able to make it work, but that’s not going to happen. I found one that I want to pursue. You and that damn motorcycle will always hold a special spot in my heart. It’s a relic of a time long ago and maybe it’s time that you finally put her to rest. It’s time for you to get that clean slate.” I was only telling him what I felt. It was going to be up to him to make that commitment to clean up his act.
“If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to keep black beauty, but maybe it is time to put her away in storage. Family has always meant a lot to me. I never knew how much until my father died. I have to find a way to carry on the family name.” That was the closure that the both of us needed. It didn’t have to come from us twisting in the sheets together. It would’ve been satisfying and a memory that I would have loved to repeat, but that would have been only asking for more trouble than it was worth.
The door closed and I had my hand on top of it with a silent goodbye in my heart. It was fitting to see him drive off into the sunset alone. I had no doubt that he would find somebody to fill that void that his father left behind.
“That was very touching, but I think that you have forgotten one thing.” I turned to look at Gemini and she was tapping her wrist and making me look with my eyes wide open at the clock and the seconds ticking by. “You’re never going to make it. It’s too bad that you sent him away. You might have had a chance with that motorcycle.” I slapped my forehead, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me.
I tried to send a text message, but the service was down for maintenance. I was cursing myself. We had left things in good terms and Jones would’ve been able to get me to the Airport. I heard the motorcycle and it wasn’t like it was in the distance.
I sprang into action, throwing the one bag that consisted of all of my worldly belongings over my shoulder. It was a green army bag that had been passed down from my grandfather. It had a sentimental connection that made me look like a hobo ready to ride the rails. I didn’t care.
I opened the door. He reached out and I thought that he was going to kiss me again, but this time he grabbed his gloves that he had left behind.
“I wonder if I could ask you for a favor. It’s a bit of an imposition, but I think that we can remain friends.” I told him that I needed a ride to the airport and he was happy to help.
He handed me the helmet and I managed to keep the green army bag in front of me. I told Gemini that she could stay for as long as it took for them to sell the property. She most likely was going to take me up on my offer and disappear once more when the sale was completed.
* * *
The vibration between my legs was the painful reminder that having my arms wrapped around his waist was like that same blast from the past.
“I hate to admit this, but I think that I’m going to have to invest in buying one of these. I don’t think that I have to tell you the reason why. You already know better than others what riding on one of these things does to me.” I was rubbing incessantly and it was a good thing that I was wearing jeans and not a skirt. I probably would have collapsed altogether and become a roadside hazard.
“I know and that’s the reason why I came to see you on it. I’m glad that it still has that effect on you. It’s nice that I can put that smile on your face. Unfortunately, I’m going to send you hot and bothered into another man’s arms. I do have one regret that we didn’t find a way to get that closure by the cries of ecstasy that I could have made you scream in the dark of the night.” I was such a dirty girl for thinking the same thing.
“It seems kind of fitting that you would be the one to come to my rescue. I know that this is not how you wanted to end our story, but our flame could only burn for so long. I think you know that deep down. We’re not right for one another. What we had was not healthy. We both have very strong opinions.” Any more of this and I was going to slide from first base all the way to home.
“There is one girl that I have been reluctant to speak about. I wanted more, but I got caught up in the old habit of sneaking out after the deed was done. I think that I might look her up and see if I can’t convince her to give me a second chance. She’s the only one excluding you that I ever thought that I could have more than a physical relationship with.” This was my time to give him some advice that would hopefully help him in his love life.
The wind was blowing through the hair that was sticking out from underneath the helmet. The vibration was keeping me occupied and making me wonder about how I was going to be able to stand steady when I finally arrived at my final destination.
“You need to learn to be yourself and not what you think that you need to be. Women like a man that is honest and will show some vulnerability. Don’t be so quick to think that you are right all the time. A girl wants to feel protected, but they also need to know that you are willing to listen to reason. That romance that you have fought against is something that you should really think about. Gestures like flowers and candy might seem juvenile, but there are those little things that count the most. Drying a dish or putting away the laundry will leave her wondering what she ever did without you.” He was breezing through traffic and I thought for sure by the way that we were leaning that we were going to come to a fiery end.
We came to the Airport and I was 15 minutes late to the party. I got off, but I had to hold myself against the bike to stop my legs from shaking. One more minute on that thing and I would’ve been done for. I was already breathing heavy and I closed my eyes to try to get back whatever dignity I had left.
“I want you to take a few deep breaths. I do find it funny that you still get that extra jolt every time that you get on black beauty. Both of us have missed you, but I think that I’m going to take your advice to heart and see what I can’t do about finding my own happiness.” My knees were knocking and I did breathe deeply until I finally was able to stand shakily on my own.
“I would really like to find out how things work out for you, Jones. You have my contact information. Let’s keep in touch and be the friends that we should be. Don’t be a stranger. At least now, I can say that I don’t feel terrified of you coming around anymore. Don’t worry, I’m still attracted to you and that’s never going to change. It’s just not enough anymore.” I was wasting time and I watched him wave to me. I ran with moments of having to stop and hold myself up against anything that I could find.
I got to the gate with my lungs burning, but it was too late. “I’m sorry, but the plane has already taken off. I can put you on the next available one. It’s not until tomorrow morning at 5:00 AM. I have two available seats, but I’m afraid that they are in first class.” I didn’t have the kind of money to fork out for that kind of extravagance.
"I can afford that.” I felt my heart fall and I hated myself for making him think that I wasn’t going to be there with him for this new and exciting chapter. “We’ll take both seats in first class.” I heard his voice, but I had to see it for myself to believe it. I turned and I didn’t know what to say. “I was on the plane, but I couldn’t leave without you. There will always be other planes, but there will be nobody quite like you.” His face was like seeing the clouds part with the sun shining through.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry for being late. I had some unfinished business to do. I think that you’ll be glad to know that Jones will not be bothering me anymore. We are going to keep in touch, but only as friends and nothing more.” He took my hand and brought it up to his lips. It was that extra spark that I needed to clench my legs closed.
“I’m not that insecure that I’m going to worry about a friendship with a past love. That would be petty and I’m through giving you the impression that I feel threatened. The next flight is not for 12 hours. I would like to take that time to learn more about you. I think that I have enough in our budget to splurge on a dinner and maybe two rooms with connecting doors. I would never want to assume anything.” I took his hand and placed it against my chest so that he could feel the thumping presence of my heart giving him the only answer that he would ever need.
“I do want to be close to you, but after everything we’ve both been through, it would be better to start at the beginning. I don’t think that we’re going to need the adjoining room unless of course, you think that you can’t handle being close to me. I would think that we have reached the phase in our relationship that we can trust one another.” I could say that, but I wasn’t sure that I could live up to that promise. The motorcycle, his lips on my hand and being close to him in the same bed was a recipe for disaster.
“I think I can handle that.” I had to stretch on my toes to reach his lips. I showed him that there was a promise for more. The orient was a land of mysteries, but the one mystery that I didn’t have was how I felt about him. It was a lot in the last few days. My mind was still going a million miles an hour. I was going to use the anticipation to keep me on the edge. I was looking forward to the Chinese hospitality. I felt that we needed something that was just for us. I wanted this to be the start of something that would last forever. This trip was meant to give us that freedom to be more intimate. One thing was for certain and there were no past loves or present ones that were going to stand in the way.
I was going to have to trust in the both of us that we could keep it in our pants. I wasn’t sure that being in the same room together was a good idea. I couldn’t say anything or that would have led him to believe that I was lost to my own passion. I was hoping to show him in due time. It was going to be interesting when we finally took off the training wheels. We had waited this long, so what was a little while longer. I was just going to have to keep one eye open and contain that passion with cold showers. China was waiting for us with open arms.
* * *
BOOK 3: STEAL ME (PART 4)
Blueprints of Love
Amanda never thought that it was possible to have anything close to love at first sight, but there she was about to embark on a journey that had been ripe with sexual tension from the moment that they met. August Rivers was not an easy man to get to know, but underneath the suave and sophisticated ladies man was a kind and gentle soul waiting for somebody to come around to open him up to real love. They have been through their own form of trials and tribulations to get to where they are today. They thought that it was going to be easier away from any distractions including ex-girlfriends and boyfriends that seem to show up at the most awkward time. They were wrong and what they face now is something that will shock the both of them. Will they be able to keep the spark alive?
* * *
Being in a strange and interesting culture was not an easy thing for either one of us to do. I had read a lot about the Chinese way, but it still didn’t prepare me for what I was about to face. They were stuck in their ways and that old tradition had never been stronger than in the business world. If I thought that I had problems with those from the western side of the world, then I was in for a shock on how close-minded these people could be.
Our first meeting with the Chinese didn’t go exactly as planned. I was shunned and ignored from the moment that I entered the room. They didn’t even acknowledge my existence. They referred all questions to August who seemed a little awkward and kept looking at me to understand what was going on. I thought that they had gotten past their antiquated thinking about where women were supposed to be in the business world. It became painfully obvious that the only reason why they brought me along was because August had made it a part of the deal.
“I understand that you have a lot of ideas, but we would really like you to reconsider your position. Mr. Nakamura has always been about traditional values and morals when it comes to creating something that is going to leave a lasting impression. I don’t want to tell him something that he’s going to refuse to even look at. I was hoping that you would be reasonable and maybe a couple of days thinking on it will help you to come to the right decision.” Michael was the son of a prominent businessman and he was tasked to keep things cordial and moving along at a steady pace.
“I don’t understand any of this. You called us here specifically to give you something that nobody else has. Yet you still want to hold onto the old ways with an iron fist. You haven’t even given my partner the respect that she deserves. I am this close to cutting ties and going back to America. I don’t see any reason why we have to contend with being made into puppets for this administration.” I could see that August was getting hot under the collar and he had a tendency to show it without even meaning to.
“It galls me that you think that you have a choice. The contract that you signed is ironclad. There is no way around it. You can have your lawyers look it over, but I think that they’ll agree that you are now our property. Whatever you do for the next five years is considered the intellectual property of the Nakamura industry. Like I said, I think that you need some time to think about it before you make any rash decisions. My father and I have to go out of the country for a couple of days, but when we return, we would really like to get started as soon as possible. Follow the rules and there will be no problems.” Michael was only following his father’s orders. I could tell that he did not want to get on the bad side of a man that could make his life miserable.
“This is not the last that you’re going to hear about this. I was given some assurances that we were going to have a license to create. We are artists and what we do is something that not many people can. We work well together and you haven’t even made the effort to look her in the eye. Amanda is an integral part of all of this and for you to dismiss her out of hand isn’t something that I’ll tolerate.” It was nice that he was sticking up for me, but I wasn’t sure that this was the place or the time for something like that.
The chairs were supposed to be comfortable, but my back was hurting something fierce. They were designed to be ergonomic and made for a productive workforce. I shifted in my seat continuously trying to find a comfortable position. I was aware of the way that he was looking at my body. I felt self-conscious around this man.
“I am very disappointed that this meeting didn’t go the way that I had hoped it was going to. My father is not going to be very pleased when he hears about how stubborn you can be. I thought mistakenly when we had our in-depth discussions that you were on board. Be careful what kind of waves you want to make. I can tell you from personal experience that those that go against my father don’t last very long in whatever business we are conducting with them. He has a long reach and a power base that exceeds even yours Mr. Rivers.” Michael was being formal, but this was the way that they were raised to show respect to those that they worked for. That is if they were men. Women were pretty much left to sit on the sidelines.
August went over to him wearing his emotion on his sleeve and grabbed him by the collar of his starched shirt. He rumpled the blue fabric and the tie was askew on Michael’s frame. It didn’t look like Michael was at all concerned about the way that August was behaving. He never lost his composure and very gently removed August’s fingers from around his metaphorical throat.
“I believe that you need to keep control of your anger, Mr. Rivers. It will do us no good to be at cross purposes. You can fight it all you want, but I think that you’ll find that it will be futile. My father is a man of honor, but he knows how to conduct business with a forceful and demanding way. He does not speak your language and he considers westerners to be a waste of skin. It took a lot for me to even get him to agree to work with you. He was the one that made the contract. That is the very same contract that you signed and sent back to me digitally.” Michael with his coifed black hair and almond colored eyes momentarily looked in my direction and gave me a sideways glance that made me feel like he was trying to make me burst into flames.
“This is a lot to process. I apologize for grabbing you like that, but you have to admit that you laid a bomb in our lap. We had no idea that you were going to be so strict that you wouldn’t allow us the freedom to show you what we can do. I’m going to have to give this some thought and weigh my options.” August was trying to remain calm, but it was difficult with this man trying to run roughshod over us.
“I will forgive this trespass one time and one time only. Don’t presume that you can put your hands on me for any reason. I know that emotions are running high, but that’s no excuse for this kind of unprofessionalism. Ignorance is not an excuse and one that is not going to be tolerated. Your day begins at 8:00 AM our time and ends 5:00 PM unless otherwise stated. You have two days to make peace with your situation or we will see you in court. I think that you’ll agree that you want to avoid that at all costs.” Michael was wearing a red power tie and the glasses were mostly for show.
I was terrified of saying anything in case that it would be subjected to scrutiny. I thought that I was independent and had a mind of my own, but here it felt like I was a second-class citizen. There were women in business, but they really didn’t raise the bar for the rest of them. They followed along with the owners’ wishes. It was only if they were able to break free and become their own boss that they were given a bit more than a casual glance.
Michael closed the door gently like he was trying to make a point. August immediately slammed down his hands on the table so hard that it actually made me jump to my feet. I was shivering in place.
“I don’t even know what to say. I have more than enough money to fight them, but it would be a never-ending battle for years to come. I would lose my reputation. You haven’t said much. I know that he can be intimidating, but you have to stand up for yourself in order to be recognized. I didn’t like doing all the talking for us. We are a team and I would hope that you would act like one.” His anger towards Michael and his father was now spilling over. He saw me as a target and he was using me to get rid of some of that pent-up frustration that he felt.
“Honestly, I didn’t know what to say and everything that Michael said was in the face of what we believed. He came in here shaking your hand and I knew that something was wrong when he didn’t even look at me. I didn’t feel that it was necessary to say anything. He had a script before coming in here and he was following it to the letter. Nothing was going to make him deviate from what he was going to say.” I was just as angry and I wanted to scream, but to do so would only feed into their perception of us.
“I came here in good faith and they slapped that in my face. I thought that I had a good standing with Michael over the phone, but I see now that he was only putting on a face. Telling me what I wanted to hear and then slipping a contract through the cracks. I did take him lightly and he made me feel like we were on the same page.” August had turned a crimson red and I thought for sure that steam was going to come out of the top of his head.
I placed my hands on his shoulders in a gesture of good faith. I could feel the tension in his muscles and there had to be a way to relieve him of what he was feeling. I could think of one way, but to use my body in that fashion would be the wrong way to start this relationship.
“We have two days to think about what we’re going to do. It’s really not a long time, but we don’t have to think about it right now. Let’s get out of our head and do something fun. We’re here in a city that we don’t really know. I say that we embrace it.” I turned his head towards me and I saw the look of defeat in his eyes.
* * *
I could smell the Chinese Food cooking on the industrial sized Wok in the back of the restaurant. There was nothing like authentic Chinese Food. There was one place back home that had taken their recipe from their homeland and brought it to my table.
August looked anxious, but at least he had discarded that tie for a more casual approach. He had the first couple of buttons undone as if those buttons were choking off the air supply. He kept looking around and drumming his fingers on the table with that excess energy running through his veins.
“I know that it’s going to be difficult, but you need to calm down. There’s very little that we can do at this time of night. You’ve already put in calls to your lawyers and they said that they would get back to you in the morning. I heard their sigh of exasperation when you told them that you signed on the dotted line without them present. It almost seemed like they were laughing in your face. I’ve taken the liberty of ordering some of their favorites and I do hope that you will find it to your liking.” It felt like a lifetime ago when I had to deal with my ex-boyfriend that had come calling when I was just about to admit my feelings for August physically.
All those problems were thousands of miles away and there was something liberating about being here where nobody knew us. We could show affection but still got some strange looks from those that didn’t feel that it was appropriate.
“I just feel like such a fool for getting you involved. It was supposed to be an adventure and not some kind of purgatory where we are sentenced to five years of hard labor.” He had nothing to apologize for. He had always been straight with me. The only thing that we seemed to dance around was our feelings for one another. We were both to blame for that.
“It’s not your fault and they tricked you into thinking one thing and doing another. There’s always going to be those that believe that they are the only voice that matters. I should have said something in my own defense with Michael. There was this tension in the air that you could cut with a knife.” The girl that waited on us was mild. She never said much of anything and went back to the kitchen after she had taken our order.
“I should know better than to negotiate in good faith. I’ve been known in the past to play these same games. I should have known that it was going to come back and bite me in some way. They say that karma is a bitch and that has never been more evident than the way that Michael has treated us. I have never been spoken to like that before and I don’t ever want to be subjected to that again.” August had power, but it appeared that Mr. Nakamura had a lot more clout in a city that had his hand prints all over it.
“This falls on my shoulders as well. I should’ve been more diligent and done a detailed search on the Internet about their business practices. I went on the premise that everything was taken care of. I allowed you to take the lead on this one and I never even questioned how this was going to work. I know from my research of their culture that they can be stickler for details. Their laws are not up for interpretation. You do something wrong and you pay for it. Do you know that when they kill somebody here for a crime that they actually send the bill for the bullet to their loved ones? Like in business ignorance is not tolerated or accepted as an excuse or defense in a court of law.” I had already polished off the rice wine that they had brought over to the table for dinner.
“I was actually looking forward to learning about this city through your eyes. I’ve been here a time or two, but I never really took the time to look around. It was always about business. Being an architect is not the only thing that I have my hand into. I have the kind of money that allows me to invest in various ventures. I have lost my shirt, but that is par for the course.” August was ashamed of himself for letting his guard down. I imagined in some small way that he would blame me for that and rightfully so. I did take him off his game and made him vulnerable to the manipulation of others.
“This is not a good way to start a new business partnership. I feel that if it wasn’t for me coming into your life that you would’ve seen this coming. I hope that you don’t have any regrets coming here with me. I probably shouldn’t pull at that thread, but I need to know if what you feel is still as strong as it was before we left the states.” I waited for an answer and I thought that he would have given it to me quicker than he did.
It felt like forever, but it was only about a minute before he finally said what was on his mind. “I’m not going to lie and say that you didn’t affect the way that I do business. I can’t say for sure that things would be different if you were not in my life. I don’t mean that to sound like I regret anything. I don’t and I think that I can find a way out of this for the both of us and still save face with Michael and his father. I just don’t see it right now, but there’s always a solution. I’m sure that if we put our heads together that we will come up with some way that will benefit both parties.” I could see that his mind was whirling and that mumbling underneath his breath was his way of figuring things out.
“I’m sorry that you feel that way and maybe being together is not the answer to anything. I’ve never wanted to change you. I’m sorry to say that I did change you and it appears not for the better when it concerns seeing what is most likely obvious.” The food came, but I was in no mood to eat anything. I was not only mad at myself, but I was furious that he would even consider that I was at fault.
“You did ask and I thought that it was a good idea to be open and honest. We need to show each other the courtesy of being upfront at all times. There can be no secrets between us. I still feel deeply for you and the love that we share will overcome any obstacle. I know how that sounds. I heard it coming out of my mouth and I almost began laughing despite my best intentions. We have been through a lot and this is just another thing in our way that we’re going to have to make sense of." August was at least referring to me as an equal and not just a partner in business.
I felt like I had put him in this position. He was doing nothing to discourage that belief. I could tell that he was having second thoughts. It was a woman’s prerogative to change their mind like a man changes his pants. I couldn’t decide what to do, but standing by him seemed to be the right thing.
I wasn’t at all ready for the taste sensation that touched my lips. The food and the egg rolls that were made by hand and not commercial in some kind of factory were something that you would have to experience to enjoy. The fortune cookies were lying there after we had finished our meal and we were both hesitant to open it up to see what our fortunes would read.
“I feel that I need to apologize. This can’t be easy on you. You came here because I gave you every reason to think that this was a fresh start for the both of us. It hasn’t turned out the way that I had envisioned. I’ve always believed that we make our own luck. We can turn this around and we just need to find a way.” He took my hand and held it lovingly with his thumb moving across the back to ignite old feelings that had never gone away.
“Fighting amongst ourselves is not going to accomplish anything. I dressed in this beautiful red dress with a plunging neckline and skintight against my frame to get your attention. I thought that when I came out of the bedroom to get ready for dinner that you would have said something or at least had your mouth wide open and your tongue hanging to the floor.” I could tell that some of the patrons were looking my way. It was only when their wives were otherwise indisposed in the bathroom that they gave me that unwanted attention.
“I haven’t done anything right since the moment that we arrived in this god forsaken country. I was foolish to think that this was going to make us happy. My father always said that if it looks too good to be true then it probably is. He would be so upset with me that I didn’t see this coming. I’m just glad that he’s not around to see it.” His connection to his father was very deep and his approval even now was paramount on his mind.
“We can both agree that the food is exemplary. I don’t know if I could eat another bite. There’s an old wives’ tale that says that if you eat Chinese that you’ll be hungry an hour later. I’ve never witnessed that for myself. That was a filling meal and one that makes me want to come back here again.” This place was close to where we were living. They had put us up at a very nice penthouse suite. They did that to keep us happy and not ready to make any waves. They thought that if they gave us luxury that we would roll over like a dog.
“Let’s forget about all of this ugliness and get back to the romance. I’m not much for the sappy things in a relationship, but I think that I could be convinced under the circumstances. I do love the way that you touch my hand. It shows that you are able to show intimacy. I don’t want either one of us to shy away from this.” I was trying to let him know that there was a way that we could make the best out of a bad situation. We didn’t have to let them have the power over us.
“I know you’re right, but it’s hard to think of anything else. I can’t get over the way that he spoke to me like I was beneath him. He probably feels that way every time that his father talks to him. It’s a vicious cycle and one that I regret making you a part of.” This wasn’t the first time that things had gone astray. His words did cut deeply like a cleaver that a butcher would use to make short work of a slab of beef.
“You can only account for your actions, August. What he does shouldn’t concern either one of us.”
“You’re being very understanding. I’m not sure that I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes. I do have to let this go. I’m thankful that you are around to ground me. Without you, I think that I might go mad and actually do something that would get me into a lot of trouble. You don’t know how close I was to smashing his face in. I could see it already happening and when I grabbed him, I felt like I could throw him through the window.” Those windows were probably reinforced for that specific reason. The building was a fortress with enough security measures to give it the appearance of a prison that was in lockdown.
We took a walk and we did stick out from those that were going about their daily business. There was a disturbance approaching and I had a feeling that Michael was not going to be any kind of pushover. His father had already ingrained in him the way to do things and getting away from that was going to take a drastic change in his attitude.
I felt like he was miles away and this was not the time to take things to the next level. I thought that after our meeting with Michael that we would be in the mood to celebrate. I had even packed the very outfit that I was going to use to seduce him before my ex-boyfriend came into the picture. My body might have been an acquired taste, but the stares that I was getting from the local men had me feeling like I was a steak ready to be devoured.
* * *
There wasn’t much that could be said about what we were facing. He was definitely in no mood for bedroom activities. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders and I was right there with him to carry my fair share of that load.
“I’m always apologizing to you. It’s not just for my behavior. I want to give you a reason to stay, but I don’t feel in the mood. I don’t have a headache, but I don’t think that my mind would be into it. I want our first time together to be special and something that we can build on. I don’t want to be like some dead fish lying there as you use me for your amusement. I’m sure that it would be good for you and I would most definitely get there, but it wouldn’t be the same as having my undivided attention.” August had me curious and there was no way that I was going to ruin our first time by jumping his bones.
The penthouse suite had a spiral staircase that went up to the second floor. There was a master bedroom and the master bathroom was something that was even more spectacular. It had a sunken tub and a shower that could fit at least four people comfortably. The view of the city from the panoramic windows gave an atmosphere of love. It was just too bad that neither one of us were in any frame of mind to strip our defenses and do what came naturally.
We did sleep together, but that was all that we did. I didn’t notice before, but he breathed heavy when he gets into that deep slumber. There’s a whistle that comes from his nose that is quite unnerving. There was a moment there that I wanted to use my two fingers to cut off that distraction. I managed to put a pillow over my head and drown out any stimuli that were going to keep me from getting a full night’s rest.
I woke with a start and I didn’t know what had caused me that much concern, but it was like I was tapping into a woman’s instinct about their baby being in trouble. I snapped forward and had to cover the sheet over my pendulum breasts. Standing at the foot of the bed was Michael with his arms crossed and shaking his head in disbelief that we would even entertain the idea of going back on our word.
I turned to August and I shook him until he fluttered his eyelids. He saw the angst on my face. We both looked to where Michael had been at the foot of the bed and there was nothing there. I was just my paranoia and a manifestation of my fears playing a deadly game. He was not there. He had already told us that he was going to be out of the country for the next couple of days.
“You look worried. I was up earlier talking to my lawyers and they had some distressing news. They had an army of lawyers go over the fine print. There is no wiggle room. They say that we can fight it, but it would do us no good. They would have been tied up in court, costing thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars to put up the necessary defense. They basically told me that I made my bed and now I had to lie in it. Of course, I fired them in a knee-jerk reaction. After calming down a little, I said that I didn’t want to fire them and keeping them on retainer was the best for everybody. They will take my money because they know that I am always good for business.” August was wearing nothing and we had reached a point in our relationship that being naked around each other was commonplace.
“I don’t like having no idea what is going on around me. I’m with you all the way to the end. Whatever you decide to do is something that the both of us should discuss beforehand. I do have my own opinion and I just hope that we don’t find ourselves arguing. Five years is a long time and yet it can be gone in the blink of an eye. We could fold and just do what they ask us.” This was my test to see if he was willing to compromise and bend a little.
The black silk sheets molded around my body, but there was no denying that my breasts were a focal point for his excitement. The tent in the sheet underneath him was quite pronounced. I wanted to reach out and touch it. I didn’t feel that it was a good time to lay hands on the man that I loved.
“I’ve caught an Angel of mercy and there are moments that I see this very bright light behind you. I have corrupted a young mind and you would think that I would feel guilty about something like that. For a culture that doesn’t take women seriously in business, it surprises me that they even mentioned you in the contract. In fact, they made it abundantly clear that you were a part of the package. They must see some value in having you working with me. It could be that I have praised your work. You could take it as a compliment that they would want you to stick around, but it’s a backhanded one that probably stings a little.” He was standing with that fine ass within reaching distance.
I had both hands in the air mimicking squeezing those cheeks, but not actually going through with it. I let the sheet fall from my bosom with the nipples standing strong and hard as ever. My body was ready to receive him in kind.
“I can’t think of anything other than your body. We did promise each other that this was going to be fun.” It seemed like a dream what happened with Michael. “I liked the way that you felt in my hand. I want to take things further, but I don’t want to do anything that you’re not comfortable with. What is your next move concerning Michael and his father? You must have something up your sleeve. I’ve come to learn that you never take chances without having a backup plan.”
“I was thinking about threatening them with legal action and actually putting things into place to let them believe that I was true to my word. It’s a bluff and one that I hope that they won’t see through. Michael might be convinced, but his father who has seen and done it all will see through my ruse. He will call my bluff and I will be left with egg on my face.” August was pacing back and forth and I was watching his love stick swinging and bobbing with a life of its own.
“You must be preoccupied not to notice that I’m sitting here completely naked and waiting for you to do something.” This seemed to break him from whatever thought was running around in his head. He actually licked his lips like he was contemplating giving me more than a good morning kiss.
“I’ve been blind, but now I can see. I’m not going to give up and there has to be some kind of loophole that we can use for our own purposes. My lawyers said that they will continue to comb through every word with meticulous detail. Their research department is better than anything that I have seen. Whoever is in charge of going through legal precedent has a mind like a steel trap.” August was hopeful and I could tell that his demeanor had changed slightly from the angst that I had seen on his face last night.
“I’ve been hot for your form for as long as I can remember. When I came to work with you it was like a dream come true. It was unfortunate that you couldn’t stop ogling me and making me feel like I had to call human resources. I see now that you only needed me to break you free from the monotony. You were at a point in your life that you weren’t looking for any kind of commitment. Imagine your surprise when I gave you a reason to think that commitment was the answer to your happiness.” I used my fingers to turn myself on. Watching him naked so near and yet so far away was more than any woman could bear.
“I was afraid to say the words and I actually needed to change my ways. Women have come and gone from my life like my bedroom was a revolving door. You rebuffed my advances. I saw you as a challenge. It was only after I pursued you and worked with you that I started to realize that there was more here than a one night stand.” He had broken up with Julia because he knew that love wasn’t in their cards.
“I want you and I thought that you wanted me, August.”
“If you haven’t guessed it by now, I want you and I should’ve introduced us both to the mile-high club. I’m just not sure that is the way that I want to start my relationship with you. We can do better and this bed looks like it can take a pounding. Don’t think that I haven’t noticed the scent of you. That new perfume that you bought has been driving me insane.” He was still naked and standing at the window. This place had wall to wall windows and gave the impression that you could see everything for miles.
“If you’re not careful, you’re going to put on a show for the neighbors. I’m sure that these eastern girls have never seen anything quite like you. Most of the Chinese men are smaller.” I had nothing left to say. He was still the same man that I remembered. “We have a chance and I don’t think that it’s a good idea for us to squander it. Tonight, is the night and I’m not taking no for an answer. I’m willing to leave it up to you. You can plan every detail. Let’s hope that your lawyer gets back to you with something that you can use to hold over Michael and his father’s head.”
“Amanda, you have been amazingly patient. I have a few ideas that involve a deep tissue massage and a day at the spa to get you ready for a night of love. We have to stop taking this too seriously and it’s only going to cause us to act before thinking. I promise that tonight will be something that you won’t be able to forget. I’m going to pull out all the stops. I want the surprises to make you that child about to open a present in the morning on Christmas Day.” August was painting a pretty picture and one that I hoped that he wasn’t going to renege on.
“There’s no reason to go overboard. The only thing that I really want is you in this bed completely naked and a smile on your face. I’m not just a pretty face and body to match. I have more going for me than the curves that you wake up to every day. I can be a little bit shy, but you don’t let me get away with it.”
“You deserve so much better than me. There are many men with money that don’t have the baggage that I do. Don’t you think that you would be happier with one of them? They can give you the world and I wouldn’t hold it against you to leave me holding the bag.” He was playing the martyr and willing to fall on his sword to protect me from five years of never ending hell.
“If I was any other woman, I would probably take your offer and run with it. I feel that loyalty is a cornerstone of any partnership in business. We need to be vigilant and we can’t expect them to be honest with us. If they can be sneaky, then we can be twice as sneaky. I don’t like stooping to this level, but sometimes it’s necessary. This will be just between you and me.” I was looking forward to being pampered and then treated like a princess. I knew that my argument about him not going overboard was going to fall on deaf ears.
* * *
“You are one very lucky girl to have a man like August in your life. How you haven’t taken it to the bedroom yet is beyond me. I might seem old-fashioned, but I’m more progressive than some of my sisters.” Lily was my masseuse with the magic fingers that had me in a relaxed state before I knew it. “I saw him out in the lobby when he dropped you off. I would be all over that in a New York second. I didn’t always live here. I was born in New York and one day I will find my way back to the big apple.”
I was making noises that were equated to those that you would find behind closed doors. I couldn’t help myself. She was touching my body with warm oils that were stimulating my sex drive. I told her my plan for August and what he was going to do to seduce me and she smiled like she had an idea of how to make things move in that direction.
“I never realized that I needed this. I’ve never had a real massage from a professional and there is a difference. August is the love of my life. I’ve tried to deny it, but it has been right there in front of my face. He was a two-timing bastard when I first met him, but having me around changed him.” Her hands were moving down along the inside of my calves from behind. She almost touched something that would be considered taboo and inappropriate. It was that closeness that was making me squirm. I moaned with that hard swat on my behind.
“I’m going to get you so riled up and then I’m going to set you lose on August. He won’t know what hit him until it’s too late. For god’s sake let him come to you and not the other way around. Let him get close and then pounce on him like a tiger after its prey.” Lily was wearing a geisha type outfit that was more conducive to Japanese culture than Chinese. There were those of the male persuasion that didn’t make that distinction. They wanted that prim and proper young lady of virtue acting naughty and doing something entirely out of character.
‘I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off of him after this treatment.” The heat from the oil was doing its job. My body was highly tuned sexually speaking and ready to have those training wheels taken off. We had already been intimate with each other, but not in the way that I was ready for.
“I have something that will help you tap into that part of you. If you would permit me, I think that I can help to keep you from letting thoughts of business get in the way.” She had me turn over on my back and I was presented with a sight that shocked and made me curious to know more.
“I know what that is called, but I’ve never actually gone through with having acupuncture. I want to try it. Do it before I change my mind.” It wasn’t long before a multitude of needles were sticking out of my body. She tapped them every so often and it elicited a response that I wasn’t expecting.
“This will open the pathway to certain pleasures that have been unknown to westerners. This will leave your mind uncluttered and you’ll be forced to live in the moment. You don’t have to thank me and the smile on your face is thanks enough. If she wasn’t careful, I was going to take flight into the stratosphere of my own orgasm. She was a master at this technique and could elicit a response from me that was more animalistic than anything else.
“I haven’t even thought about business from the moment that you started to puncture my skin with these needles. I’m not much for watching somebody get a needle and I have to turn away. This is different and it’s like you are connecting my body and soul as one. I don’t know where you learned this from, but you are a testament to your profession. I’m in good hands. You know what you’re doing. The only thing that I ask is that you don’t go too far. I want that build up until I can’t take it.” She continued to manipulate those needles.
I jumped several times in a spastic fit with my whole body shaking and trembling underneath her touch. She finally extracted those needles one at a time. I felt more in touch with nature and with my sexual self. There was a sense of anticipation in the air. The euphoria of having those needles penetrate my body was not even near enough. I wanted something quite imposing. He had that something that I wanted and this time I was not going to allow anybody to get in the way.
“If I thought that I had a chance with August, I would take it. He has only eyes for you and I don’t think that he even gave me the once over or undressed me with his eyes. I know that you did and maybe that’s something that you should explore with August. Being with him has opened up a whole new you. You’ve broken free of the only obstacle that was in your way the entire time. You have been your own worst enemy. What I did here today is a temporary fix. I request that you come back once a week for a repeat treatment. Couples break up because they can’t communicate or show the kind of affection that will keep them coming back for more.” Lily got my body humming a different tune.
“This has been very enlightening. It would probably be a good idea that August return here with me. He needs this more than I do. I don’t really know what we’re going to do about Michael and his father. I probably shouldn’t have said anything and I don’t want it to get out by some kind of gossip between you and your friends and colleagues. I’m asking for your discretion and I hope that you will abide by my wishes. There’s a big tip in it for you for your silence.” I showed her $100 bill and her eyes went wide like she hadn’t seen that kind of cash before.
“Behind these doors is a safe haven for you to talk openly without judgment or condemnation. What happens here stays here. You’re not the first one to ask for my silence and you won’t be the last. August would make a great candidate for acupuncture. I think that you’ll find that he’ll be more receptive if you were to mention it beforehand.” I got up feeling a little lightheaded, but that was to be expected from having my inner being aligned. I felt like I was connected to everything. Sex was going to take on a whole new meaning.
I hadn’t even thought that the Chinese had special techniques when it came to sexual pleasure. This trip was interesting and getting more so by the minute. Westerners didn’t have a patent on sexual discovery.
“I’m glad that you said that. I made some interesting noises and I doubt that it was anything that you haven’t heard before. I had to let it out. There was no way that I could keep something like that to myself. You hijacked my body. I’m surprised that I was able to let things go so easily. I think that is the influence of having August as a role model and mentor. He’s more than that. He’s my friend, partner in business and soon to be wild lover in bed.” Lily had to be there for me with a cold glass of water after feeling dehydrated.
I had the fortune to sit in a sauna that was infra-red and it made me sweat through my pores. It left me docile and her suggestion about acupuncture didn’t make me afraid like it should have. I was feeling ready to charge ahead and do what was needed to make this work. August said that he had gotten a very odd message from the researcher in his law firm. I had to hope that it was good news.
“You came in here as tight as a drum and you are leaving relaxed and sexually open. I learned my English from television shows and movies. This thing that you have with August is something that you need to do something about. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Everything else will fall into place one way or the other. It’s a matter of timing and there are no words that can express the way that you feel. Words are empty without actions. Do yourself a favor and take the bull by the horns. He might treat you like a fragile doll that is going to break, but you are stronger than that. Don’t let him handle you with kid gloves. Throw your misconceptions into the fireplace with those broken glasses and do what they do on the discovery channel. We don’t get that here, but I’ve heard others speak of it from your neck of the woods.” She was kneeling in front of me, holding the glass and letting me drink from the cup.
“I sometimes get the impression that we’re going against the natural order of things. Every time that we are close to being together something comes around to tear us apart. Old boyfriends and girlfriends aside, there has to be a payoff after everything that we have been through. I just hope that we are not stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’m going to tell everybody that you are the best and that they should come here before they go anywhere else. Word of mouth is what is good for business.” I felt that hunger for my man and it came from those open pathways that she had amazingly worked wonders with.
“Everything happens in its own time. You may veer from your path from time to time, but you always find a way to get back on track. It’s obvious that you were meant to be together. You can’t let business be the focus for the reason why you’re here in China. The payoff that you are looking for is in your hands. It has been there this whole time. You already know that, but you have decided to hide from it” Lily held my hand and I could feel tingles of excitement running up and down my lower extremities.
“We should’ve done something about this attraction between the two of us a long time ago. We let our fears dictate our lives. I’m through doing that.” I held her hand and there was real strength coming from those little fingers. It was as if she was touched by an angel and given a profound gift to give pleasure to others. I’m sure that if I had asked for it that a happy ending might’ve been negotiated. I could see myself experimenting. I couldn’t say that before I met August. He was letting me play in the sandbox. I didn’t have to believe that sex was one sided in the male’s favor. I deserved more than that and I wasn’t going to settle for anything less.
“Our culture was born from marriages of convenience. Our fathers were the ones that made the decision on which family to marry us into. I broke from that and they have never looked at me the same way again. I send them money and they send it back without even a note. We can’t live for others. The only person that we have to be better than is ourselves.” Lily helped me to get dressed. She was very caring and compassionate and she made me feel at ease in your presence. It was a spiritual awakening.
“It is a beautiful city with riches and wonders that have yet to be discovered by myself or August. If you could suggest a couple of places that we should visit, then that would go a long way to helping him to realize that he made the right decision by coming here.” She put up a finger. She grabbed a pen and paper and began to scribble madly like a woman possessed.
“I wrote down a few places that most tourists will never see. I also mentioned in that same note a few supplements. They will give you a virility that you didn’t know that you had. Get him to take it at the same time and the physical connection that you have together will be stronger than ever. The one that I would suggest and worked wonders for me is the deer antler.” The supplements that she was talking about was those things that you could find in nature.
I found myself hugging her and then rushing back to the penthouse with only one thing on my mind. It had nothing to do with business and everything to do with getting him out of his pants and his underwear at the same time. I was going to kick this into high gear and it didn’t matter what he did to prevent me from attacking him.
* * *
I waited for 2 hours and then I heard the door open and the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. I got up and I lay back against the bed in a compromising position with legs spread and my intention quite obvious from the way that I was dressed in that same lingerie.
The door opened and I saw him staring at me and then dropping whatever papers he had in his hands. “I think that you might be a little underdressed. Dinner is served downstairs.” I tried to reach for a robe by the door, but he snatched it from my hands and made me stand there. “On second thought, there’s no reason for you to get dressed up. What you’re wearing will suffice nicely. I also have some potentially good news, but I think that can wait until later.” August took my hand and made me walk ahead of him. I could feel him staring at me and the way that my panties were wedged up into the crack of my ass.
He wanted to enjoy the view from the back. There was definitely a new skip in his step. The weight on his shoulders was gone and in place was the man that I had professed my love for.
“I took the liberty of ordering off menu.” The glint in his eye told me that he was up to something. “Please, take a seat and you’ll find that most of these dishes incorporate a certain magic mushroom that is known to the locals. I don’t know the pronunciation, but it’s said to be a very potent part of their sex life.” I put the deer antler in jerky form in front of him. I told him of the significance of it. We were both thinking the same thing.
“The one thing that we don’t need any help with is getting in the mood. I can already see that you are happy about something.” He looked down and the bulge that was trying to escape his trousers was not average by any means.
The food was delicious and the mushrooms and deer antler did complement the dish precisely as advertised. I was a little nervous and being this vulnerable and exposed left me with chills running up and down my spine. He dropped his napkin and then he disappeared under the table. I knew exactly what he was up to and I didn’t dare look. I continued to eat when I felt a pair of hands spreading my legs. Those fingers crept up along the garters, snapping them once to garner a yelp of surprise from my mouth.
I could feel his hot breath on the thin fabric of my blood red panties. I felt the touch of his wet and agile tongue. It wasn’t direct contact, but it was certainly a tease for better things to come. His hands were lightly touching the inside of my thighs igniting that ember into a full-blown blaze.
“I hope that you know what you are…DOING.” I lost my speech as his fingers delicately moved away the only obstacle that was preventing him from seeing me. I felt his one finger draw a straight line down until he penetrated. I pushed against him to see how far that finger would go until it was past the second knuckle. The grip in which I held him in my embrace must’ve given him an idea of what he was in for.
“Put yourself into my hands and I promise that you won’t regret it.” The tip of his tongue moved ever slowly from my knee all the way up to the inside of my thighs. I didn’t need to see what he was doing to know what roadmap he was using to get there. I had this feeling that he had a very profound conversation with Lily before he left. “You taste delicious and I haven’t even sampled the best part. I just hope that you don’t suffocate me.” That was a promise that I couldn’t make because I didn’t know that I would be able to keep it.
“Oh, my…that does leave me a little heated and it has nothing to do with the temperature in the room.” I held the table, willing myself to be in the moment and feeling like the acupuncture had lessened the control that Michael had over what was going to happen.
That tongue came in direct contact with my clit for a brief moment before taking it away. I made an audible gasp that I was sure was music to his ears. He drove the point of his tongue like a spear until I was slamming my hands down on the table with more than an encouraging word. The explicit language would’ve made a grown sailor blush.
He was darting his tongue in and out of my body with a precision that had me feeling like he was some kind of serpent. He was showing that he was in control. This was a man that had a lot to offer. His experience was doing wonders for my libido.
I had to push away from the table, panting like an animal in heat and placing my foot in those high heels up on his forehead to prevent him from touching me like that anymore. He looked a little disappointed, but I didn’t want to reach the end of my rope that quickly.
“Your patience will be rewarded. There’s no point in getting too hot to handle. I want this night to live in infamy in both of our minds. Our first time will be a long drawn out affair with the both of us having the chance to explore each other’s bodies. I believe that you are in a position to carry me up those stairs and into the bedroom where the action will take place.” Most men wouldn’t be up to that task and my weight was a major issue back in the day. Those guys that had come before were toxins that had to be excised from my body like demons. He was the answer to all of my dreams coming true. I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“I think that I can handle that.” He lifted me easily into his arms with my legs kicking in an overanxious way. “I can’t wait to get you out of this thing. It looks good on you, but I think that it would look even better on the floor. I don’t know why, but I would like you to keep on the stockings and high heels. There’s just something about them that makes my motor run even higher than it already is.” He walked with ease up those stairs, not sweating one bit or making me feel like I was a burden.
He laid me down on the bed after uncovering the sheet. The cool and crisp feeling against my skin was only making me hungry for more. I grabbed him by his belt and pulled him into me with his tongue stabbing into my mouth. I was doing two things at the same time. It was awkward with the way that he was kissing me. I did manage to undo his belt and then unzip his pants to feel the heat of his loins striking against my fingertips.
I made a conscious effort to go fishing and I found that the bait of my cock hungry body was enough to draw him out. He was quite advanced in his development. It was saluting like a good soldier with the large helmet already showing a sheen of his excitement. I used my thumb and I got better acquainted with what was going to be plunging deep within the scorching lust between my thighs.
I took a hold of his shaft, hearing him moan in response as I began to draw the skin up over the head. I did this several times and I was quite happy to see the results dripping down the sides. I was on my knees and I had to break the contact of his lips. He had my lipstick smeared across his mouth and I was going to do the very same thing for another part of his anatomy.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. For weeks, I fantasized about what it would be like to be with you. It seems so surreal that we are here together. I thought that you saw me as a lost cause. I didn’t like the way that you made me feel, but it was for the best.” My mouth was near the object of my desire. I stuck out my tongue and tasted the byproduct of his desire for me. It was sticky and sweet. I wanted more where that came from.
“I was wondering how you were going to taste and I have to say that I’m pleasantly surprised.” I sealed my lips over top of him and drew him into the back of my mouth. I eased him into my throat with his balls touching my chin in a very erotic way.
“I don’t think that I could ever dream something like this. I can feel the heat from your mouth and the way that your tongue curls around me. I want to hold off, but I’m not sure how long I can under this kind of torture.” I wasn’t about to let him prematurely end the party before it began. I knew when he was going to be ready and that was when I was going to take a page out of the oldest profession in the book.
If they wanted repeat customers, then they had to do something spectacular that would have them coming back each and every time. I slowed down the pace in which my lips were gliding up and down the length of him. The salty taste of his seed only compelled me to take what I wanted.
I could feel his hand running through my hair and holding the back of my head. I gave him about 5-minutes of my oral expertise and then I took it away with no explanations. He was soaking wet and he wasn’t the only one. The panties that I was wearing had a stain in them. He pushed me backward and lifted my legs in the air while grabbing my panties with his teeth.
He pulled them ever slowly up along my large and silky legs. He growled like an animal and then twisted his head to the side with the panties flying until they were flung over the lampshade. I don’t think that he could’ve done that again in much the same way.
“You have brought out the animal in me and you have only yourself to blame. You can see what you do to me. This is what happens every time that I’m near you. Let this be a reminder that you have more power than you think you do over a man. Take a stance against Michael and I think that you’ll find the respect that you’re due.” He had that mushroom tip against my sex and I had to get up on my elbows to watch as every inch sank into the deep confines of my sweetness.
I locked my legs around him with my ankles cinched to keep him as close as possible. He had stuffed me full and I was enjoying the feeling more with every stroke that he gave me. The rhythm was slow and agonizing, but it didn’t remain like that for long.
“If I brought the animal out of you, then you have brought the woman out of me. Believe me; it’s not something that I say lightly. Please, take me and let me feel the fire that burns out of control between us. Taste my skin and know that everything that I am is because of you.” The way that he was making love to me was gentle but firm. There was a need that surpassed all others in his eyes. They crackled with electricity. I was the one that was responsible for that.
“I was worried that we were only fooling ourselves. I see now that I didn’t need to worry at all. We are compatible in ways that exceed my expectations. I can feel the way that you hang onto me and it’s very hard to pull out. That bead of sweat running down between your breasts is what I’m using to keep myself in check.” I thrust my body in the air, wrapped my hands around him and felt the jerk of his hips as he continued to supply me with the kind of pleasure that women everywhere would be jealous of. The mattress was moving against the wall and soon the headboard was cracking against the plaster and making it rain.
“Yes… God damn it…this is what I want and I never thought that I could…HAVEEEEEEEE.” My climax was legendary with this earthquake between my legs that had me seeing stars dancing before my vision. Those inner muscles worked him over into a frenzy. They were massaging that stick of dynamite that had already been lit before we had entered the room.
His movements became more erratic, but he never slowed down until he got that telltale look on his face. The floodgates opened. This continued almost a full minute before he finally slumped forward on top of me. I could hear his heart beating and I thought for sure that this was the end of our time together. I reached down and felt that his semi-erect state told a different story. We had only begun and I had a feeling that there wasn’t going to be a whole lot of sleep had tonight.
* * *
By morning, we were exhausted and spent with the sheets curled around us and lying on the floor. I was lying against him with my head on his shoulder. He had his arms wrapped around me and was whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
“I’ve never been more satisfied in my life, Amanda. I think that you have ruined me for other women. I don’t think that I’ll be able to look at one without thinking that they can’t hold a candle to you. The way that you moved was like an alley cat. You purr like a kitten, but you growl like a lion. I think that I might have bitten off more than I can chew. I might die, but I will die with a happy smile on my face.” They were the sweetest words that any man had ever said to me.
“I don’t even know where to begin. I have nothing left to give. We really did have some time to make up for. That had to be the best that I’ve ever had it. You were so responsive to my needs that it felt like we were connected more spiritually.” I didn’t want to break the spell that we were under. This was our own little world and we had captured a memory for posterity.
“I wasn’t the only one that was responsive. You were definitely not shy about telling me what you needed. For the most part, I already knew what to do, but it was nice to know that you weren’t afraid to speak your mind. I lost count after the fifth time how many times you came. I had three climaxes myself and that’s an all-time record. I’ve never actually gone all night before without some sort of pharmaceutical aid. The little blue pill really does come in handy from time to time. I can assure you that I didn’t need it this time. I just needed the right woman to push my buttons in just the right way.” I knew that there was something that I was forgetting and then it dawned on me that he had mentioned the potentially good news.
“You made all the blood from my head rush to another part of my body. Now that I’m thinking straight, I would like to know what you meant when you said that you had potentially good news. There is definitely a change in your attitude. I know that some of that is courtesy of what I was wearing, but I don’t think that was the extent of it.” I touched his depleted member and the head was extra sensitive after going off that many times.
“The research advisor that I was telling you about came up with something that we might be able to use in our favor. Intellectual property is not the same as patents pending. I had the foresight before I went into this business to patent all of my designs. They can have us, but they can’t have our designs without both of us signing off on it. I know that they’re not going to like that, but that’s hard cheese.” He was smug, but if he had thought about this, then it was likely that their lawyers had already found a way to circumvent that very thing.
“We have one more day and then we will have to meet with Michael and his father to discuss things further. We can’t go off half-cocked. It does us no good to show how desperate we are. I’m glad that we waited and it made it that much more special. I don’t have any frame of mind, but I think that we might have broken the sound barrier. I know that I screamed until I was hoarse and you couldn’t stop moaning my name over and over again. I don’t think that there’s a better sound than hearing my name coming from your lips.” I moved my fingers over his sweaty skin and I knew that we were in major need of a shower for two.
“I’m ready for them this time and they won’t catch me with my pants down again. Fool me once shame on them, fool me twice and shame on me. The one thing that I do know from all of this is that we both need each other. I listened to you breathing last night and I could almost hear the things that you were dreaming about. When you opened up your eyes the truth came out about how much you love me. You tell me that you want me and that you need me more than the air that you breathe and I believe you.” August held me tightly and I think that he had the same sentiment that there was no better place than being in each other’s arms.
“When I hold you in my arms like this it’s like I’m home. You put me in the spotlight and made me perform for an audience of one. You can’t hide your emotions from me. You can from others, but I can see through the bravado.” I was quite content to lie in his arms forever, but that was only a pipe dream. Sooner or later, we were going to have to face our problems head on. We were together and nothing was going to conquer us.
“I’ve never felt more connected to anyone in my life. The dreams that I had were the most satisfying. They had to be about you. When I wake up with a smile, I know that it’s because you are with me, Amanda. There’s something about you that keeps me wide awake. I had a resurgence of energy last night that came over me like nothing that I have felt before. Usually, I’m good for one or maybe two, but last night I went beyond my wildest imagination.” Whenever I looked at him, I believed that I could do just about anything.
“August, you say the sweetest things and yet I don’t believe that they are lines. Men might say the damnedest things to get a woman into bed, but you are not like that. You might have been in the past, but you learned that there is a give and take to any relationship. That we need to continually work to better ourselves. We will have arguments and fight like cats and dogs, but we will never go to bed angry.” That was a promise that I was intending to keep.
“I am a little older than you, but I certainly didn’t expect you to be able to bend like that. Only contortionists can do some of those maneuvers. You’re very flexible and you always keep me guessing. Every time that I look at you, I feel like my heart is going to explode.” We finally had to go and take a shower and that was making it very hard on us not to have a repeat performance. It wouldn’t be long until we were throwing caution to the wind and there was still a whole lot of this penthouse suite that we had not taken advantage of.
He helped me to towel dry and I could feel his fingers lingering a little longer than necessary. When he bit one of my cheeks, I jumped out of my skin, but also laughed at the way that he couldn’t help himself. We were not conventional and the love that we shared was something that was written in the stars.
“You keep doing that and you know what’s going to happen. We haven’t even had a moment to step outside of his room for over 12-hours. We need to nourish our body. We need to get dressed and go someplace to have breakfast. Don’t worry; I plan to take full advantage of that body of yours. I don’t think last night was a fluke, but there’s only one way to find out. We need to practice and I’m not opposed to pushing the envelope.” I’d always wanted some man to use my breasts for their pleasure. Seeing him thrusting that last time straddling my chest was an awe-inspiring moment. The heat of his discharge was still on my skin.
“I keep thinking that what I have against them is not enough. That somehow they will turn the tables and have us looking like fools all over again. I’ve gone over what that researcher found and it is very well hidden. They would need somebody that is meticulous and won’t just gloss over the details. They think they have us over a barrel and they won’t even entertain the idea that we could be in the driver’s seat.” I saw him putting on his pants and I wanted to reach out and pull it back down to where he was accessible to my eager and hungry eyes.
“August, the one thing that we can’t do is accept everything on face value. We go in there armed to the teeth and ready to blow their world apart. We don’t let them get a word in edgewise and we hit them with this from the moment that we enter into the office. That will draw them into an offensive position. Be ready for them to play dirty. We’ve already witnessed that for ourselves and it’s not like they were very subtle about it. Michael got us here under false pretenses and they can’t be allowed to play with people’s lives like that. They need to know that there are consequences to their actions.” I put on a pair of jeans feeling like today was a day to go casual. I slipped a sweater over my head, but it didn’t exactly hide my otherwise endowment.
“I agree with you. We need to make sure that we have all of our bases covered. After breakfast, I suggest that we go into the office using our newly acquired key cards and do a little bit of reconnaissance. We can poke around and do some digging on our own. Let’s see if there are any skeletons in their closet that we can use against them. The kind of business that they do must’ve made them a fair supply of enemies. What I have is damning enough, but we want them to be in a position where they will have to work with us than against us. The only way that we’re going to be able to do that is to fight fire with fire.” It was a good idea, but Michael and his father didn’t get to where they were by being careless.
“Gossip might be normal for other offices, but I doubt that there are going to be any loose lips to be found. We will be lucky if we find anybody that is even remotely talkative.” I had my back towards him and then he was behind me with the abundance between his legs pressed up against me. I could feel it nestled between my cheeks and I was this close to unbuttoning and bending over for the occasion.
“We are both as bad as each other. Let’s get out of here and find someplace that is out of the way. I’m sure that the driver waiting to take us to wherever we want to go will have some ideas. I even have this place that is not known to the tourists.” I told him about my adventure with Lily. He was apprehensive, but he was at least willing to come with me the next time.
“I do like the way that you think. You make me feel like I’m a fish out of water. I don’t necessary like that feeling, but having a woman like you makes it palatable.” We closed the door and went downstairs to retrieve our jackets by the front door.
I looked at him and I still couldn’t believe that I had landed a big fish like him. He seemed so unattainable. Girls were flocking to him. He had found a reason to be close to me instead of pushing me away. Even when I didn’t respond to his overtures, he still kept me around because he knew that I was a value to his company.
“The way that you are thinking has rubbed off on me. I look at things differently than I did before. Guys like you were a dime a dozen, but you were that hidden gem that I had to uncover. I think in some small way that you were hiding from your feelings. Rejection is never easy and you never let anybody close enough to break your heart. I’m glad that you were willing to open up to me. It wasn’t easy and it was like pulling teeth.” I opened the door and Michael was standing there with a tray and a smile on his face. It appeared that their business trip had been cut short and he decided to stop in on his newest acquisition.
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“My father is downstairs and he will be up here shortly. I know that this is shorter notice that I had given you previously, but I can’t help that. I can only hope that you have come to your senses. Fall in line and you’ll be fed like fat pigs. Don’t and you’ll find yourself under litigation for breach of contract.” It was obvious that Michael had been sent ahead to smooth the troubled waters.
I was about to say something, but August interjected before I could get a word out. I was about to tell him that we were willing to work with him under certain conditions. It was his smug attitude that made me want to wipe that look off of his face.
“I think that it might be a little premature for us to talk about these things without your father present. I see that you brought us breakfast. We are famished and we appreciate the way that you have bent over backward to please us.” August was playing the game, but I could see the suspicion in Michael’s eyes like he was afraid that he was not seeing something that he should.
“Why is it that I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach? You are being way too kind and I expected more resistance than this. Tell me what has changed from the time that I saw you the other day to now. You must feel pretty damn cocky to stand in front of me not shaking in your boots. I don’t like being blindsided. My father’s not going to be very happy and you really don’t want to see his bad side.” August looked at Michael and didn’t give him the courtesy of saying anything more.
“I would say that you have gone above and beyond. This all looks very delicious. If I don’t miss my guess, I believe that you got this from the place across the street. I can never remember its name, but the owner is very rigid and his wife caters to those that enter.” Michael was fuming and August was enjoying playing with that Damocles sword over his head.
“I don’t like being ignored. I hope that you don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Trust me; my father is not one to be made a fool of.” Michael was pacing, wringing his hands and looking like a bit of the bluster had been blown out of him.
“You’re right, August and everything looks absolutely sumptuous.” I sat down and we both talked to each other leaving him out of the conversation altogether.
“I do like the way that they treat us. I’m not sure that I enjoy the way that they think that they have the upper hand. It’s interesting about what happens when you push an animal too far. They don’t just sit in the corner and lick their wounds. They find a way to fight back and use whatever is at their disposal to give their enemy something to think about. You would think that somebody with that kind of business acumen would know that there are several ways to skin a cat.” He was alluding to the information that we had that was going to change everything.
“I don’t know what you’re getting at. Stop this before it goes any further. I’m pleading with you not to get into this with my father.” It was too late for that and Michael was now backpedaling like his life depended on it.
“That is more than enough groveling, Michael.” We were under the impression that his father didn’t speak English, but that was just another one of his lies. “Let these people eat their breakfast in peace. We can always discuss business afterward. It’s not like they’re going anywhere.” He had this self-important attitude that really did grate on my last nerve.
He grabbed a chair from nearby and sat down with a smirk on his face. He was looking back and forth between me and August. It was a very uncomfortable silence. He was waiting for us to say something.
We continued to talk about the weather or anything else that came to mind. It was our way of sticking it to him. It was a dangerous game and could easily blow up in our faces. I could see that Michael’s father was a time bomb ready to go off.
“I have to give my compliments to the chef. I think that we will be making that place a regular haunt for some time to come. That is if we can get past this pesky business of you wanting things your way. Your son was very forthright, but I believe that the words that he spoke come from you. He was just a puppet and you didn’t want to dirty your hands with this kind of business. I’m sure that you weren’t very happy when he came back and told you of the way that we reacted.” The plates were pushed aside and now they were both facing off like adversaries.
“I will not allow you to talk to my…” Michael was cut off by a hand gesture that had him cowering and bowing his head in servitude to his father.
“I don’t know why we are arguing about this. You either do what we say, or all of this will disappear and you can expect a battle that will stretch years in court. We take breach of contract very seriously in my culture.” He was laying down the law like he was the sheriff and we were lonely peasants.
“I have something to show you. It gives me great pleasure to do so.” He retrieved the portion of the contract that was going to leave him speechless and stunned. “If you would look at section five, paragraph seven, I think that you’ll find that everything is in order. This contract supersedes the one that I signed to come here to work. You really should know your enemy before you go casting stones at glass houses.” His facial expression changed from mild amusement to outright contempt.
“I see that we have come to an impasse. How do you suppose that we get past this? I’m open to ideas, but don’t think that you have me where you want me. I could easily just rip up the contract. I don’t want to and that is going to be my last resort.” Michael’s father was dressed impeccably with not a hair out of place. His fingers were manicured and I had no doubt that the rest of his body was summarily taken care of.
“You think that it’s a threat that you can tear up the contract but it’s not. You came to us and not the other way around. With that being said, you and your son have not even mentioned my partner’s name. That stops now. I don’t care how you feel about women in general and I won’t have you treating her like she’s nothing. I have more than enough money. Losing this contract would be unfortunate, but not life changing” It was time that I said something or they would just continue to use me as a doormat.
“August isn’t the only one in this room that has something to say. You can either agree to our terms to get the best from us or you can turn your attention to somebody else that you can have your thumb on. The one thing that I do know is that you will never have a design for a building that will have people in awe of the Nakamura enterprise. We’ve already proven ourselves time and time again. One client, in particular, is the measuring stick that you should be using.” I felt his glaring eyes, but I stood strong and did not cower like his son did.
“I know that things are changing. I won’t be conducting day to day business with you. That role will fall on my son. I will instruct him to make every allowance. I won’t dignify what you say with a response. As long as you both stay out of my way then maybe we can work together. I do find myself curious to find out what you will come up with. I doubt that I’m going to like it and that’s just a risk that the three of us are going to have to take.” He got up with a refined gesture and then he stepped towards the front door like he was still the master of all things.
“I almost forgot to mention an old friend of yours that wanted to say hello. Tanner Young is a name that I know that you know all too well. He was very talkative about certain things. If they were to come to light, then I don’t think that I have to tell you what would happen.” August had found out that there was a skeleton in the Nakamura closet. Tanner only alluded to something that would be a black eye to the Nakamura image. He didn’t say anything concrete, but the only thing that August needed was something to keep these people from breaking their word.
Michael’s father turned swiftly and he pointed at the both of us like he was chastising a little child after he had broken something of great value to his family. “Well played. I won’t forget about this. I’m just glad that I don’t have to see either one of you ever again. Any conversation will go through my son first. I might have underestimated you and I don’t think that I’ll be doing that again. You can tell Tanner from me that I won’t be causing any more problems. That’s not to say that I will automatically agree with any design that you come up with.” He walked out with Michael standing there not believing what he was seeing with his own eyes.
“I don’t know what that was about, but you actually scared him. Let me shake your hand. I’ve been trying to get his respect all of my life. I’m sorry that I gave you a hard time. I was just following orders like a good soldier. You don’t know how much I want this to work out. Working with the both of you is going to be my pleasure. Anybody that can take my father down a peg is OK in my books.” He bowed politely and then followed his father like a dutiful son.
“You know that bluffing at cards only leads to trouble. We don’t know anything about that skeleton in his closet. It’s a good thing that he thinks that we do. I think that we have a reason to celebrate. We’re going to have a good time tonight. You said all of that with a straight face. I’m not sure that I should be impressed or scared that you can lie through your teeth so easily.” I did enjoy the way that they had no choice but acknowledge my existence. I could see that it was easier for Michael than it was for his father. That was a man that had a certain way about him. He was used to using intimidation tactics like fine print in a contract.
“I’ve never been so turned on in my life. That was great, but what fueled my sexual appetite, even more, was putting that old man in his place. There was a crack in his stoic façade that I couldn’t stop smiling about.” He lifted me from the chair and placed my ample posterior on the table. He sat down and placed his head in my lap with my fingers moving through his short hair.
“It was interesting to see that switch turn on and off. This is not going to be easy, but in life, anything that is worth doing is worth doing the right way. I can only speak for myself, but I have this hunger that needs to be fed. Breakfast was good, but I’m sure that there is something that you can give me to wet my appetite.” I was alluding to the long and packed sausage in his pants. “We don’t have to be to work until tomorrow. We have all day and I think that we can make good use of that time in a constructive way.” He raised his head and lifted me once again into his arms.
“I think that you are a dirty girl in need of a good scrubbing. Let’s go see what we can do about using that sunken tub.” I had a feeling that there was going to be water everywhere.
I found out later that I was pregnant with his child. I was going to keep that to myself until there was a more advantageous time to spring this on him. We had spoken about children in the past and I knew that he wanted a big family. That was one thing that we had in common amongst others.
As he bounded up the stairs two steps at a time, I knew that the fire that we had for one another was never going to be contained. It didn’t matter what country we were in or what kind of workload we had. We would always have special moments just for us. I was looking forward to a bright future with the man that I loved.
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There are more bonus stories ahead…..just look what you want to read next via the Table of Contents (TOC)
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