Katharina

 

I swallowed nervously as I paced around in the kitchen. Kenny was still watching TV—true to his word, he hadn’t gotten too drunk or passed out. He was keeping a close eye on the front door, and one of the times I’d checked on him, I saw him toying with a shiny gun that lay in his lap.

 

“Protection, Mrs. Carver,” Kenny had said, holding the gun up. “I won’t hurt you, but we need to make sure that asshole can’t get in here.” He’d smiled at me.

 

I couldn’t help but smile back; I liked Kenny. He was the kind of guy who reminded me of a younger version of my father, before he got too stern and old. “Thanks for staying here,” I said softly. “I’m sure you’ve got other things you want to be doing.”

 

Kenny shook his head. “Protecting Jace’s wife is exactly what I want to be doing,” he said with a grin. “That’s what being part of the Havoc really means to me.”

 

He’d turned his attention back to the television before I could reply. Part of me was stunned; I knew there were accusations that Jace had killed my father. Just how many members of the MC believed that?

 

“Would you like some dinner?” I asked, clearing my throat. “I was thinking of making a chicken.”

 

Kenny turned to me. “Hey, yeah,” he replied. “That would be awesome, thank you.”

 

I nodded and turned back towards the kitchen. Since Jace had left in the morning, I’d found myself struggling to find a purpose to my day. I’d done all that hunting and looked at photographs, but after I found the silver brush and mirror engraved Margot, I didn’t want to keep snooping. Since then, my stomach had twisted into knots every time I heard a car pass by the house. What if Jace came home and he could tell what I’d been doing?

 

I swallowed hard as I dug through Jace’s fridge. He had only the barest of bachelor essentials: condiments and no real food. There was one pack of chicken thighs frozen in the freezer that I set in a cool bowl of water to defrost, and not much else. With a sigh, I perched on top of the kitchen island and watched the frosty chicken slowly turn into recognizable shapes. It seemed like a good metaphor for my time here: sit and think about everything while something melted in front of my eyes.

 

I shuddered. I didn’t like being this alone. I wished Jace would come back soon. As nice as Kenny was, he wasn’t the most intimidating of Jace’s guys. He wasn’t the kind of man who could inspire fear with a single glance, like Jace could do.

 

When the chicken was thawed, I put it in the oven with some olive oil and herbs. After a while, it started to smell mouthwateringly good. I hadn’t eaten since the day before and I was surprised to discover how hungry I was. You need to keep up your strength, I thought to myself. In case Troy breaks in and you have to run.

 

“Stop thinking about him,” I mumbled under my breath. “You know Jace won’t let him anywhere near you.”

 

But my mind stayed glued to Troy. I wondered where he was, what he was doing. It wasn’t because I missed him or wanted to be with him; it was more a defense mechanism I’d come up with over the years. At first, when Troy and I had gotten together, I’d always missed him when we were apart. Even after the abuse started. But then, after a while, I’d started wondering about him when we were apart, so I knew where he was. So I knew which places to avoid if I didn’t want to wind up with a massive bruise on my face. I knew if Troy was out at the bar, that meant trouble. He was an angry drunk, and he’d never go to sleep until he’d managed to beat me into a pulp first. If he was out at the store, that was bad, too. I knew he’d come home and lecture me on the slutty way women dressed nowadays, followed by a raid of my closet that left all of my clothes in rips and tatters.

 

“I hate you,” I said under my breath. “I hate you for controlling me even when I want nothing to do with you. I hate for you ruling my life, even now!”

 

The timer dinged and I went to grab the chicken. By now, I was positively starving. I’d made the whole bag, and I wanted to set some aside for Jace when he got home. I didn’t know much about what Jace liked to eat, but part of me took pride in being a good wife.

 

As crazy and unrealistic as the situation was between us, part of me was starting to think we really had a connection. I’d never been with someone who could read my mind as easily as Jace could, someone who could thrill every inch of my body. Whenever Jace looked at me, I felt like my insides were melting and turning into molten lava. He had an incredible effect on me—it was so strong that it almost frightened me. It was different than being with Troy, more primal. With Troy, I’d been overjoyed when he finally noticed me, and some of that excitement and anxiety carried over into actually dating him. But with Jace, it was like we had to be together, we had to be touching, we had to be wrapped up around each other in bed. With Jace, it was like the rest of the world vanished around me.

 

“It’s just different,” I said softly, blushing when I realized I’d spoken the words aloud. Smiling to myself, I looked over the dinner that I’d made and I could feel my mouth watering.

 

I made two plates of food and carried one into the living room. Kenny’s gaze was fixed to the television. He barely nodded at me when I set the plate down and padded off into the other room.

 

“Hey,” I called absentmindedly behind me. “When is Jace coming home?”

 

Kenny shrugged. “No idea,” he called back. “I don’t keep tabs on the guy.”

 

I laughed aloud. “So you’re just here until…whenever?”

 

I didn’t see Kenny, but I could have imagined him shrugging. “He’s the boss,” Kenny called back loudly. “I do what he says, when he says.”

 

“Dedicated,” I muttered under my breath. I still wasn’t used to this, this level of attention that was being paid to me. It was completely new, and almost kind of embarrassing. It reminded me when I’d been in my cousin’s wedding and we’d all gone to the salon together for manicures and pedicures. The salon attendants had fussed over us to the extreme degree, and I’d been uncomfortable with the attention. I wasn’t used to someone hovering over me and asking what I wanted to drink. But my cousin lapped it up, and after a while, she even started acting entitled, like she deserved everything they were doing for us. It had been embarrassing.

 

Now I wondered if I was acting the same way. Making dinner for Kenny had been a nice gesture, but I wondered if he felt patronized.

 

I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter,” I said, trying to make myself feel better. “He’d be here whether or not you cooked.”

 

When I was done eating, I rinsed my plate and put the leftovers away. I would have left some out for Jace, but the grease was already starting to congeal in the bottom of the pan. I had no idea when he was coming home, but I wanted him to have something appetizing.

 

He’ll be home by the time I’m done with the dishes, I thought. And he’ll laugh at me for wearing an apron and doing them all myself. I hummed to myself as I slipped into the apron and found a pair of yellow rubber gloves under the sink. Jace had a dishwasher, but it looked brand new, and I didn’t want to risk breaking it. I washed the dishes one by one, methodically soaping and wiping each dish until it was gleaming. When I turned around, I expected Jace to be standing right behind me.

 

But no one was there. I pouted for a moment as I pulled off the apron and tucked it back into the pantry. It was getting dark; Jace had been gone all day. I wondered what he’d gotten up to. A small pulse of jealousy ran through me, and part of me wondered if he’d been out with another woman.

 

“Haven’t even been married for a week and he’s already stepping out on me,” I said under my breath. But as much as I tried to believe it, as much as I tried to sensationalize the events, I couldn’t make myself panic. Deep down I knew Jace cared about me, and he was going to protect me. Sure, I might get on his nerves sometimes, but that wouldn’t be enough to break every promise he’d made me.

 

It struck me as almost hysterical that I was already counting on Jace for so much when we’d known each other for so little.

 

I decided to go lay down in bed for a while, maybe take a nap. Jace would probably wake me up when he came in, and I was feeling tired after a long day of doing nothing. My lids were surprisingly heavy, and I found myself yawning as I closed the door to Jace’s room and slipped out of my jeans. The sheets were cool and crisp, and before long, my eyes were closed and I was slipping off into a quiet, thin sleep.

 

A thought jolted me awake. What if Jace comes home and he’s pissed off that you’re in his bed? Frowning, I bolted up and wiped the crumbs of sleep from my eyes. I knew it was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help feeling paranoid—nighttime was always when my anxiety acted up. I turned on the lights, then got out of bed and straightened the covers up. When I was satisfied that the room looked untouched, I crept down the hall into “my” room, the room I’d slept in the night before we got married.

 

After being in Jace’s room, my room seemed bare and unimaginative. I shivered at an imaginary breeze before crawling into bed and turning out the lights. In the dark, I was able to finally relax. I did deep breathing exercises as I pulled the sheets over my body and crawled onto my side, snuggling my head under a pillow. For the first time in hours, I finally felt safe again. There was no way Troy could find me here.

 

I was almost asleep when I heard something soft, like footsteps in the room. Even though part of my brain was barking at me to wake up, I stayed snuggled under the covers. I was barely aware of strong hands grabbing me and pulling me out of bed. I opened my eyes and realized it was Jace. His strong chest felt warm against my body even though I was cold from being taken out of bed, and he smelled absolutely delicious.

 

I yawned as Jace carried me down the hallway. “Where have you been?” I asked groggily.

 

There was no answer. Jace slammed his bedroom door closed behind us and dropped me on the bed. Before I could move, he reached down and grabbed my panties, yanking them down my legs and tossing them away.

 

He growled as he grabbed both of my wrists with one hand and pinned my arms over my head. “Katharina,” Jace whispered in a ragged voice. “I need you.”

 

I closed my eyes as he trailed his face down my body. His rough stubble scratched my neck and I shivered as his hands slipped up my shirt and pulled it over my head. The air felt cool on my skin and I shivered again, moaning softly as he pinched and caressed both of my nipples.

 

The room was mostly dark, but I was glad so Jace couldn’t see my blushing. His features blended together, aside from the two black holes where his eyes were. I couldn’t see his expression, couldn’t tell if he was pleased or pissed off. He growled as he slipped a hand between my legs and slapped my thighs.

 

“Keep these apart,” he growled.

 

I strained my muscles, trying to keep my legs spread. Jace got down on his knees and nuzzled my chest. I gasped when he took one of my swollen nipples in his mouth, licking and sucking until I was practically crying with pleasure. My whole body felt electrified, like he had hooked me up to a power outlet and turned me on. In his skilled, capable hands, I felt more pleasured than I ever had in my entire life.

 

I closed my eyes as Jace’s warm, wet mouth slid around on my belly. The feeling made me shiver all around, and I moaned softly as his fingers played with the delicate skin on the insides of my thighs. Every time he touched me was as exciting as the first, and I couldn’t wait to see where this would lead. Jace made me so hot, so excited, that I could barely think about anything other than fucking him. I wanted him all the time, I wanted him as deep and intimate as I could have him.

 

“Katharina,” Jace grunted as he slid a finger inside my soaking pussy. “Katharina, I need you.”

 

I gasped as he wriggled his finger inside of me. I could feel how wet I was, soaking the sheet underneath me, coating Jace’s hand with my juices. As he rubbed gently on the tender spot of the front wall of my pussy, I felt my whole body convulse with amazing pleasure. “Jace,” I moaned softly. “Jace, please!”

 

I could have sworn I saw Jace grinning then. He slipped another finger inside of me and lowered his head to my breast, kissing and licking at my nipples. The feeling was raw, exquisite, and I wanted to keep going forever. I never wanted Jace to stop pleasuring me, I wanted to stay in bed with him forever. As his third finger inched inside of me, I groaned with pleasure. I felt stretched open and exposed. I felt like he could read my mind.

 

Jace’s thumb brushed against my clit and I jumped at the electric shock of pleasure that radiated through my body. As he gently rubbed my clit while moving his fingers inside of me, I felt my lower belly clench and tighten with an absurd amount of pleasure. I felt like I was going to come harder than ever before. My hands started to ache and I was amazed to discover them tangled in Jace’s hair, pulling and yanking.

 

Suddenly, he stopped. I started whimpering out loud, desperate for Jace’s touch, but he only let out an amused little chuckle.

 

“I wanna see how badly you want me,” Jace said in a teasing voice. “I want you to show me how much you want me, Katharina.”

 

I shivered at the way he said my name. It occurred to me, just barely, that he was using my full name instead of Katie, but I didn’t mind. It was the first time that anyone besides Troy had called me that in a long time; it felt better than I would have expected. Jace leaned back on his haunches and stared me down.

 

“Show me, Katharina,” Jace repeated in a husky voice that sent shivers down my spine. “I want to know how badly you want me.”

 

I swallowed hard and grabbed Jace’s shoulders, pushing him down on the bed. He was shirtless and clad only in a thin pair of athletic shorts, which I pulled down his hips. His cock was massively stiff, and pressing against his briefs. I smiled at the sight of it before reaching down and gently stroking it with one hand. At my touch, he arched his back and moaned. I grabbed the waistband of his briefs and tugged them down, letting his cock bob free. It sprang upwards almost immediately, and I realized how beautiful his body was. Jace looked like a classic Greek statue, or a piece of art. He was one of the sexiest guys I’d ever seen; I couldn’t believe he was my husband. All mine.

 

Slowly, I lowered my head down to his cock and took the first inch in my mouth. I wasn’t sucking, just gently blowing and licking on the skin, letting my lips touch his most sensitive areas. Jace groaned and reached down, tangling his fingers in my head. Closing my eyes, I took more of his cock inside my wet mouth, wrapping a hand around the stiff base and slowly pumping.

 

His cock twitched and pulsed in my mouth. He tasted like musk and clean skin and I inhaled deeply with pleasure as I moved my tongue against the base of his cock. He jerked his hips up and forced his whole cock in my mouth. I could feel drool sliding down the sides of his erection and I gently worked some in my hand to simulate lube. He moaned at the new development and I smiled to myself as I crawled between his legs. Using my free hand to stroke his bare chest, I felt his skin warm and begin to perspire under my touch. Jace was writhing on the bed and moaning loudly with his eyes screwed closed. As I sucked his cock, I slowly pulled my hand away from his chest and slipped it between my thighs. I was amazed to find myself wetter than ever; it was dripping down my legs and I shivered as my hand made contact with my swollen clit. Jace had already aroused me to the point of no return, and I licked my lips as I pulled back from his cock.

 

I straddled Jace and ground my hips against him, rubbing my wet pussy on his hard erection. He moaned loudly and put his hands on my hips. For a second I thought he was going to grab me and force me down on his erection but instead, he flipped me on my back. In a second he was on top of me, pushing the head of his cock inside me and pressing his forehead against mine.

 

“You don’t fuck me,” Jace whispered hotly. “I fuck you. Understood?”

 

I squeaked out a reply as Jace slid all the way inside of me. It felt so good that I cried out, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down close. His hard body against mine felt incredible and I closed my eyes as his chest rubbed against my stiff nipples. The friction was deliciously intense. He was filling me, stretching me, bringing me to the edge and back and he hadn’t even started moving yet.

 

“You feel so good,” I murmured into Jace’s ear.

 

He shivered as I raked my nails down his spine, pulling him close and wrapping my legs around his surprisingly narrow waist. Jace was muscular but he didn’t feel heavy against me. His strong arms braced him on either side of my head, and I turned my head to the side and gently licked his forearm. He shivered and slammed his hips against me, harder than ever before. I moaned as his cock filled every inch of my pussy, making me feel complete. Shockwaves of pleasure shot through every inch of my body and I realized I’d started to move my hips along with his until our bodies were in a frantic rhythm.

 

“Katharina,” Jace moaned in my ear. “Katharina, you feel so fuckin’ good,” he repeated, nuzzling me with his damp face.

 

Sweat was building and breaking out all over my body and our limbs were slick with it. The air in the bedroom smelled like sex and heat and pure, raw lust. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing in the delicious scent of him mixed with my own musk and sweat. I’d never had an experience like this, I’d never thought sex could be so good.

 

Jace slipped his hands between our bodies and grabbed onto my hips, using them as handlebars as he thrust against me. I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Jace’s fingers dug into my hips and I could feel his thrusts growing more intense by the minute. My clit was aching and swollen and his pubic bone was rubbing me so hard I thought I was going to explode. It was getting harder and harder to breathe and I buried my nose in Jace’s neck.

 

He groaned and arched his back. His eyes were closed and his face was covered in a damp mask of perspiration. I could feel his body shuddering and bucking against mine, and as we moved together, I felt a powerful orgasm start to rip through me. First, my fingers and toes curled and I felt an explosion of something amazing in my lower belly. My skin was heated and damp and as the waves grew stronger, I let out a loud moan that reached a crescendo with the power of my climax. His whole body started shaking and I could feel he was about to come. He dug his fingers into my skin, grabbing my hips and forcing his body against mine until I was aching with the force of his thrusts. As he let out a groan and collapsed against me, I felt his cock twitch and pulse inside of my pussy, gushing cum.

 

“That was amazing,” I said in a shaky, hoarse voice. The bed underneath of us was soaked with sweat. “I missed you today.”

 

Jace rolled off me and onto the other side of the bed. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. “What did you get up to today?”

 

I shrugged. “Not much,” I said. I wasn’t going to tell him about the brush and mirror I’d found. Not yet, anyway. “What did you do?”

 

Jace rolled onto his side and gazed into my face. “I had some errands to take care of,” he said. “Then I got a drink with Axel.”

 

I nodded. I thought I’d smelled beer when he’d kissed me. “I made dinner,” I said. “Chicken, in the oven. You want some?”

 

“Nah,” Jace said. His stomach growled loudly and I started laughing.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“You got me,” Jace said. He rolled out of bed and pulled a tank top on over his bare torso. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go to the kitchen.”

 

“Is Kenny still here?”

 

“No, why?”

 

I didn’t reply, but I shot Jace a flirtatious gaze as I pulled on one of his t-shirts. It was huge on me, almost like a dress, but I still felt sexy and playful. Jace grinned at me; I could see the reflection of his teeth in the semi-dark room.

 

We walked into the kitchen without speaking. The air between us was tense, kind of awkward. My body felt incredible from the sex, but in the harsh light of the kitchen, I could feel my good mood deflating. Jace was back to ignoring me again. He went rummaging through the fridge with his back turned to me.

 

“Is this the chicken?” He pulled out a covered plate. I nodded. “This looks good,” Jace added, crumpling the foil into a ball and tossing it into the bin labeled Recycling. “When did you make this?”

 

I shrugged. “Earlier tonight,” I replied. “I wanted you to have something to eat when you came home.”

 

Jace grinned and my heart fluttered in my chest. In the light, his face looked different. I stepped closer and gasped when I saw two tiny scratches on his cheek.

 

“Oh my god, Jace, did I do that?” I leaned in close. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to cut you?”

 

Jace laughed. He self-consciously reached up and put the tips of his fingers against the cuts. “They’re not a big deal,” he said. “You didn’t do this.”

 

I frowned. My stomach did a flip-flop. “Who did?”

 

Jace shrugged. “Your cunt of an ex tried to fight me,” he said nonchalantly. “He came up to me and Axel when we were outside of the bar.”

 

I blinked, then stared. “Oh my god,” I said in a breathy voice. “I had no idea he would do that, Jace. I’m so sorry.”

 

Jace shook his head. “Katharina, it’s not a big deal.”

 

I shuddered involuntarily. For some reason, the name thing was bothering me again, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. “Okay,” I said softly. “I really wish you had told me.”

 

“Katharina, I just did tell you,” Jace said. He put a half-eaten piece of chicken back down on the plate. “Seriously, you want me to call you whenever shit like this happens? Shit like this is gonna happen, you know? You can’t run away from it.”

 

I sighed. “Forget it,” I said softly. “I just don’t feel safe. Not…not with him running around out there.”

 

Jace grinned again as he polished off another piece of chicken. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, waving his free hand in the air. “You know he’s a piece of shit. I cleaned his clock pretty good. I don’t think we’ll be hearing from him any time soon.”

 

I bit my lip and looked away. I liked knowing Jace had beaten the shit out of Troy, but somehow that didn’t seem good enough. “I’m sorry,” I said suddenly. “I’m sorry he did that to you. I’m really horrified that he’d try dragging you into all of this, Jace.”

 

Jace shook his head. “I told you,” he said, sounding exasperated. “Ain’t a big deal. I don’t care. I’m used to worse.”

 

I shook my head. “No, it’s worse than that,” I said softly. “I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

 

Jace rolled his eyes. “I ain’t worried about me. Look, I made an oath to your father.” He paused and my blood ran cold. “I made a promise to Matthias that I’d always protect you, no matter what. And I can’t go back on that promise now.”

 

My mouth went dry and my stomach plummeted. “You made an oath?” My voice sounded dry and brittle. My eyes flooded with tears and I blinked, looking up at the ceiling and willing them to evaporate back into my body.

 

“Yeah,” Jace said. He grabbed another piece of chicken and took a savage bite. “What’s the big deal?”

 

What’s the big deal? What’s the big deal? Seriously? I wanted to grab Jace and shake him by the shoulders. An oath changed everything; this changed everything. At first I’d thought Jace and I were actually getting along, that we actually worked as a couple. That we had chemistry and maybe, someday, would wind up loving each other. But finding out that he’d only married me because of some dumb promise he’d made to my father made me feel horrible. I felt like a burden, like I was something in the way of Jace’s true happiness.

 

“Katie?” Jace was staring at me and blinking. “What’s wrong?”

 

I looked away. I couldn’t tell him what I was thinking—that he’d only married me out of loyalty to my father. And what if it’s not just that? a dark little voice said in the back of my brain. What if it’s not loyalty, exactly, but guilt? What if Jace did something and he feels bad about it? No. I couldn’t start thinking like that. I couldn’t start thinking that my husband was really responsible for my father’s death. After all, if Jace had only married me out of guilty feelings or loyalty or whatever, I had no idea how we would stay together. It seemed improbable; he didn’t really want to be with me, anyway. I was just a toy to him, I was just a temporary distraction.

 

“Nothing,” I said softly, trying to force a smile. “Is the chicken good?”

 

Jace had finished his second piece and started on a third. He grinned up at me, his face smeared with grease. “It’s great,” he said, holding out a drumstick. “You want some?”