Rhys
With a contented sigh, I watched as the first amber rays of sun streaked across the sky. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a sunrise. I’d sure as hell never considered myself a morning person, especially in the last decade as a member of a touring band. As far as seeing the sunrise on Christmas morning, the last time that had happened was when I was a kid and couldn’t contain my excitement of seeing what Santa had brought.
A slight whimper from the bassinet had me whirling around and crossing the room. Gazing down at my sleeping son sent a sense of peace spreading through me that I’d never known existed. I’d spent the last two hours just staring at him, trying to memorize every aspect of his tiny features. After Allison had taken the first part of the night with him, I’d volunteered for the second shift.
Shortly after one this morning, we’d commandeered the hospital’s VIP suite. It was tucked away in a somewhat private alcove at the far end of the maternity ward. It was vaguely familiar to me since Mia had given birth there too.
I’d felt a pang of regret when we’d left Keira and Roland. Although she continuously reassured us that it was fine and the right thing to do, I felt like a bastard when we took Sam away. He was barely an hour old, and even though Allison was to be his mother, it still felt wrong tearing him away from Keira. Adoption guilt was a real bitch. It was a subject that had been broached to us when we did pre-birth counseling. Of course, it was one thing to hear about something and then an entirely different thing to experience it.
As Allison snored faintly, I hunkered down in the rocking chair beside the bassinet. While Sam continued snoozing in dreamland, I began texting the guys the news, along with a slew of pictures. Considering they all had young children, I knew in spite of how early it was, they were probably involved in Christmas hoopla at their houses. As their congratulations started rolling in, I’m pretty sure I had the goofiest smile on my face.
At a grunt and then snuffle from Sam, I slid my phone into my pocket. Peering over the side of the bassinet, I watched as he flailed his tiny fists and stretched out his legs. Just before he could let loose with a wail that might wake Allison, I scooped him up and nestled him against my chest. “What is it, Little Man? Are you hungry?”
In yet another act of absolute selflessness, Keira had pumped a few ounces of breastmilk sometime during the night. A nurse had brought it in just after Allison had gone to sleep. After fielding the bottle from the mini-fridge, I sat back down in the rocker. I debated waking Allison up since I knew she would probably want to give him his first bottle. But considering how peaceful she looked, I decided to let her get her rest.
As I rocked Sam, I couldn’t help feeling amazed at how much I felt bonded to him. It certainly was surprising considering how much I’d worried about my ability to be a father. But I felt absolutely in sync with Sam. When I shifted him to my shoulder to try to burp him, my mind went to my own father. While last night and this morning had been filled with calls and texts to everyone else in our lives, I had yet to call my parents.
After easing Sam back into the crook of my arm, I dug my phone out of my pocket. I probably stared at the screen for five minutes before I lifted the phone and took a picture of Sam in my arms. Then I sent a message to both my parents’ phones:
Samuel Rhys McGowan
8lbs, 9oz
21 inches
December 25th
Once the text had been sent, I started to put my phone back into my pocket when it dinged. Fully expecting it to be one of the guys, I did a double take when the response was from my father. Congratulations on your beautiful, healthy son. Merry Christmas, Father. Hope to see him in Savannah soon.
For a moment, I fought to breathe. I hadn’t expected a response. I’d wanted to be the bigger person by messaging them. Of course, they wouldn’t drop their plans to make the trip up to see their new grandson. But the fact they wanted to see him period was a development. I didn’t hold out hope they would magically become better people—that somehow by becoming grandparents it would erase the pain of the past. They still preferred to keep Ellie in a group home, rather than allowing her to live with them. That would always wound me regardless of how they moved forward in our relationship.
The next two hours were a flurry of activity with the nurses coming in to do vital signs as well as the pediatrician on call coming in. Somehow through all the craziness, Allison continued sleeping soundly. I was glad she was getting good rest. She was going to need it. We both were.
When she started stirring just before eleven, I climbed into the bed with her. “Merry Christmas, Mama,” I whispered into Allison’s ear.
With a drowsy smile on her face, she replied, “Merry Christmas, Daddy.”
I grinned down at her. “You know what I was just thinking?”
“That even though you didn’t actually give birth, you can physically feel like you were hit by a bus?” she questioned.
I laughed. “No. I was thinking that never in a million years would we have thought last year that we’d be parents this Christmas.”
“That’s for sure.” Raising her arms over her head, she asked, “What time is it?”
“Almost eleven.”
Her blue eyes popped open as a panicked expression came over her face. “Oh my God. Sam!!?”
“He’s fine.”
Relief only flickered in her eyes after she glanced past me to peer at the bassinet. “How’s he done?”
“He just powered down two more ounces of breastmilk, and now he’s back snoozing.”
Her mouth widened. “He took a bottle?”
“Yep. Twice.”
“And you didn’t wake me?” she asked, disappointment resonating in her voice.
“You needed the sleep, babe.”
“I know, but I wanted to give him his first bottle.”
“I’m pretty sure you have a lifetime of firsts to complete with him. Missing out on the first bottle won’t matter in the vast scheme of things.”
After weighing my words, Allison nodded. “You’re right.” With a teasing smile, she mused, “Of course, he’s back asleep now. He’s got his days and nights mixed up.”
I laughed. “Hopefully, it’ll be better when we get home.”
“Do they still think it’ll be tomorrow?”
“That’s what the doctor said at rounds this morning.”
She yawned. “I can’t believe I slept through all that.”
“You took the first half of the night when Sam was a livewire,” I acknowledged.
With a laugh, she said, “I suppose that’s true.” After shifting in the bed, she wrinkled her nose. “I would kill for a shower right about now.”
I jerked my chin at the bathroom. “Go on. I’ll man the fort.”
She kissed my cheek. “Thanks.”
After the shower turned on in the bathroom, Sam began stirring again. Since I couldn’t resist snuggling him, I picked him up. I turned on the television, and with A Christmas Story as background noise, I began walking him around the room.
When a knock came at the door, I went over to answer it. After throwing it open, I quite unexpectedly came face to face with Santa Claus.
“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa bellowed.
“Look, Sam, you’re barely twelve hours old, and you’re already meeting Santa,” I mused.
“Hey, I’m the best-looking Santa he’ll ever see,” Santa added.
My brows furrowed as there was something familiar about the Santa’s voice. “Wait a minute. AJ?”
After jerking the powdery-white beard down, AJ grinned back at me. “Surprise!”
With a laugh, I shifted Sam in my arms. “What in the hell are you doing here?”
“I’m spreading Christmas cheer, dumbass.”
“But I thought you guys were leaving for Mexico today?”
AJ winked. “We can go to Mexico anytime. It isn’t every day you meet another member of the Runway Train family.”
As he held open the door, Mia and the rest of the Resendiz clan came clamoring in the room. Each of them was carrying a platter or container of food. “Merry Christmas, Rhys,” Mia said with a smile.
“Merry Christmas.”
Shaking out of her coat, Mia glanced around the room. “Where’s Allison?”
“She’s grabbing a quick shower.”
“Better make sure she knows we’re out here before she comes out,” AJ joked, which earned him a playful smack on the arm by Mia.
Another knock came at the door. Before I could open it, Jake and Abby came charging through with the twins. Just like AJ and Mia, they came laden down with food. “Merry Christmas!” Abby cried.
“Same to you,” I said, while I gave her a squeeze.
Jake motioned to Sam. “Okay, hand him over. Uncle Jake needs some snuggles with his new nephew.”
“Why should you be the first to hold him?” AJ protested.
“Maybe because he’s my sister’s kid?” Jake replied.
Warmth spread through my chest at my two bandmates and best friends fighting over my son. While I’d never vocalized it to anyone, especially Allison, I’d worried about the stigma surrounding Sam. Would my friends and family embrace him the same way they would my blood son? It was truly a gift to see my fears had been unfounded when it came to my bandmates and their families.
Gently, I handed Sam over to Jake. “Hey, Little Man, welcome to the family,” Jake said. He then kissed the top of Sam’s head.
While AJ cooed at Sam in Jake’s arms, Mia and Abby got down to work organizing all the food. As Allison stepped out of the bathroom fresh-faced and in new clothes, Brayden and Lily appeared with their family and even more food.
Immediately, Allison teared up at the sight of the bounty our bandmates had brought. “You guys, I can’t believe you did this.”
“We couldn’t bear the thought of you guys eating cafeteria food for your Christmas dinner,” Lily said
Abby nodded. “Not to mention, the allure of getting to see handsome Mr. Sam.”
With a smile, I slid an arm around Allison’s waist. “Seriously, we can’t thank you all enough. Some of you guys are our blood, but all of you are our family.”
“Oh, my God, you’re going to make me cry,” Allison tearfully admitted.
“Already there,” Mia said, dabbing her eyes.
“Group hug?” AJ suggested.
Although I fully expected someone to protest, no one did. Instead, we all gathered together in a giant Runaway Train pile. As I squeezed my bandmates, I was so grateful to have them in my life. They were the family I’d always wanted.
After we dispersed, Jake passed Sam on to an eager AJ. Spreading his arms wide, Jake proclaimed, “Let’s eat!”
Always the minister’s daughter, Abby interjected, “After we say grace.”
Jake grinned at her. “I’m sorry, babe. Didn’t mean to be a heathen on Christmas Day.”
“Then why don’t you lead us?”
Although Jake paled slightly, he gave a brief nod before bowing his head. Inwardly, I laughed at how the former manwhore was now a devoted husband returning grace. It certainly was a testament to the power of love. Especially the power of the love of strong women. The men of Runaway Train had certainly been blessed in the women we’d married.
With the blessing returned, Mia and Lily started handing out plates while Brayden manned the drink station. Jake and AJ disappeared out into the hallway for a few seconds before reappearing with chairs. Before I could ask where they found them, Jake winked at me. “I’ve got connections.”
After everyone filled their plates and started eating, I realized something was missing or more specifically, someone was missing. Leaning over, I whispered into Allison’s ear, “I’ll be right back.”
She furrowed her brows, but she didn’t question me. After wading through the kids, I headed out the door and made my way up the hall. I knocked on the door of Keira’s room. “Come in,” she called. When I entered, it hit me how much quieter it was. Not to mention how somber the mood was.
“Merry Christmas,” I said.
With a smile, she replied, “Merry Christmas.”
“You look good today.” From her change of clothes and shiny face, it was evident she’d showered.
“Surprisingly, I feel pretty good, too.”
Glancing around the room, I noticed Roland’s absence. “Where’s your dad?”
“He’s gone down to the cafeteria to get us something to eat. I told him to go home and have lunch with Granny and Grandpa, but he refuses to leave me.”
I gave her a knowing look. “Good fathers don’t leave.”
“No. I don’t guess they do.”
“Can you get in touch with him?”
She furrowed her brows at me. “I suppose so. Why?”
“I want you to tell him to forget the shitty cafeteria food and come to our room for Christmas dinner. The guys and their wives brought a hell of a feast.”
“That sounds nice, but I don’t think we should impose.”
“Who said anything about imposing?”
“But we’re not family like they are,” she protested.
I shook my head. “Sorry, but we are family. You gave birth to my son. From the very start of this journey, we always said we wanted you to be a part of Sam’s life. What better way to start that than by having his birth mom celebrate his first Christmas with him?”
Tears sparkled in her eyes. “You really mean that?”
“I sure as hell do.”
She hiccupped a laugh. “I would love to eat lunch with you guys. Most of all, I’d love to see Sam.”
“Who knows. You might even decide you want to hold him.”
A shy smile played on her lips. “Maybe so.”
“Good.” I stepped over to the bed. Extending my arm, I said, “How about I escort you down there?”
“That’s okay. I really don’t need any help,” she answered as she threw back the covers.
“Then just consider it me being a gentleman.”
With a giggle, she replied, “Okay. I will.”
As I was taking Keira to the room, Roland appeared with a cafeteria tray over-stacked with plates. He glanced between the two of us. “What’s going on?”
“I’m escorting Keira to Christmas lunch in our room.”
I nodded. “Toss your tray, and come join us.”
His brows shot up. “You want me to come, too?”
“Of course. Considering the Runaway Train wives usually cook for an army, I’m more than certain there’s plenty for you.”
Roland winked. “A homemade Christmas lunch? Oh yeah, you don’t have to ask me twice!”
When we entered the room, Mia was holding Sam so Allison could eat. At the sight of Keira, Allison’s eyes bulged in surprise. After putting her plate down on the table, a beaming smile lit up her face. “Merry Christmas! Come on in and get some of this deliciousness.”
Abby handed Roland a plate. While she prepared to hand one to Keira, Keira wasn’t paying attention. Her gaze was focused on Sam in Mia’s arms. As if she sensed the conflict, Mia stepped forward with a smile. “Would you like to hold him?”
Keira’s conflicted gaze bounced over to Allison’s. When Allison nodded, Keira held out her trembling arms to Mia. Once Sam was nestled against her chest, Keira’s fear seemed to evaporate. She gave her birth son a smile. “Hi, Little Man.”
At the sight of Sam in Keira’s arms, a mixture of both agony and joy filled me. I bit down on my lip to fight my tears. Allison abandoned her seat to come over to me. Gazing into my eyes, she smiled. “What you just did? You’re my hero.”
I laughed. “Seriously? I invited two people to lunch. I’d hardly consider that something heroic.”
“Well, I do. It’s just one of the hundreds of reasons why I love you with all my heart and soul.”
Bending my head, I captured her lips with mine. After pulling away, I smiled. “And I love you with all my heart and soul.”
Allison returned my smile before gazing out at the wonderful chaos in the room. “Our first Christmas as a family.”
“It’s not what we expected, but it’s pretty amazing.” I motioned to Sam in Keira’s arms. “Seriously, who could ask for a better gift than Sam?”
With a laugh, Allison replied, “You’re right. There’s nothing better.”
“Merry Christmas, babe.”
As I brought my lips to hers, I realized what a true Christmas miracle I’d been given. I had a beautiful, loving wife, a career with supportive band members who were more like my brothers, than my friends, and most of all, I had a healthy son. With a goofy grin, I heard Tiny Tim’s words echoing in my mind, “God bless us, everyone.”
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