Zoe

Oh, God.

I’d told Ian this was a bad idea. The first time we went on a family vacation should have been about Margo and the impending baby. Not me. Not us.

And here I was the idiot who was so nervous that I couldn’t put down a freaking plate.

I sat down and smoothed a napkin on my lap.

Ian arched a brow at me and hid a smile behind a large chip loaded with our guacamole. Which was glorious, thanks to Harper and a little YouTube action. We should have turned to the internet in the first place.

But that wasn’t saying much, since we’d used Harper’s damn video anyway. And now that I had a family of my own, it looked like I would be following the online cooking classes she was doing.

Easy meals in thirty minutes? Rachael Ray didn’t have anything on Harper. She actually knew how to deal with rockstars and their crazy eating habits. A very cool idea she was doing with Tristan—my future…

What?

Baby daddy brother-in-law?

I didn’t even know how the weird and twisted family tree worked in this group. Yet here I was, having a baby before we’d even really thought about all the ramifications.

Smart. That was us.

More like Ian and his crazy, sexy green eyes with the big old hearts in the middle telling me he wanted to plant a baby in my belly had undone me in a million ways. And man, we’d barely even gotten to practice. Practically on the first try after I took out my IUD, hello, baby.

Baby.

Sweet hell.

Margo picked up the platter of nachos. “These look great, guys. Thanks for unpacking the food.”

I waved her off. “It was nothing. I can’t believe you guys have a chef on the island.”

Margo snagged a loaded chip and popped it in her mouth. When she was done chewing, she made a little humming sound. “My parents originally owned the house and I grew up with the housekeeper. She retired, but her niece, Amara, took over. I swear, she must have all the same recipes in her head.”

“Makes you want to learn to cook and hand it down too, right?”

The question was out of my mouth before I thought about it.

Margo sat back with a giggle. “God, no. I can’t cook.”

“Harper keeps trying to teach us.” Carefully, Lila wrapped a soft taco, closing it at the bottom. “My mom gave up a long time ago.”

“Aunt Laverne managed to teach me how to bake a pie. Everything else kind of went over my head.”

“Well, with the spreads she puts out, it’s a little overwhelming.” Li neatly tucked into her taco. Her plate was tidy, with a manageable amount of food on it for herself, not in shambles like mine.

I looked down at my mess and it complemented my loving idiot’s plate. His was full to the edges with nachos, taquitos, tacos, and anything else he managed to pile onto it.

My man could eat. Besides, I preferred his current bulky state. When I’d first met Ian, he was practically starving himself. Now he was all muscle and filled-in shoulders.

His back muscles were a thing of beauty. I might have made him rechop the tomatoes just to watch them move under his tank top.

Maybe.

Okay, so I wasn’t proud of it, but we were still in the honeymoon phase. If the honeymoon part meant having a baby while not married, but pledging our eternal love to one another.

Whatever.

It worked for us.

For now.

Nick stood up and nipped a chip off of Lila’s plate as he went back into the kitchen for more drinks. It was kind of nice that they weren’t big drinkers in this crew.

I didn’t have to hide that I was strictly sticking to water. Mostly because nothing else stayed down. Food—no problem. My beloved sweet tea? Running for the toilet.

Probably because Ian despised my tea so much. His child probably felt the same. He’d come out wanting a spot of Earl Grey with no cream. Ugh. So gross.

Everyone was chatting at the table, a collective groan turning into a laugh when Nick turned up an obnoxious Christmas carol on the super high end stereo.

I supposed I should get used to Alvin and the Chipmunks if I had a little chipmunk growing inside me.

Nick sang—which he almost never did—in a ridiculous falsetto that somehow notched higher into a reasonable facsimile of the chipmunk version of Simon.

“Just like you.” Nick waggled his eyebrows as he came out of the kitchen.

“Asshole.” Simon’s forearm rested on the back of Margo’s chair as he turned into her to make sure she didn’t need to reach too far for anything.

Hovering.

I’d have to kill Ian if he tried that nonsense with me.

How the hell was I supposed to even bring up the subject? I’d recently learned that my cousin had been trying to have a baby for a while and Margo was across from me, heavily pregnant. She was practically glowing with smiles and laughter at the antics between Nick and Simon.

Even Ian managed to lob a few insults their way, though he was still timid about throwing his personality around. I hoped he would grow out of that the more his relationship grew with Simon.

Margo was rubbing absent circles along the side of her stomach as Simon’s tenor voice soared to the rafters and Ian chased him vocally as they tried to outdo one another through a Michael Bublé song.

I laughed and shot a look at Ian. I hadn’t even known he knew the song. We really hadn’t spoken about the holidays, religious or otherwise.

God, we still had so many things to learn about one another.

Nick tossed a chip into Simon’s mouth mid-note and clapped with a hyena laugh when it shut him up.

“Boys, no food fights.”

Nick dunked his chip into the guacamole. “Look at that, Margo’s practicing her mom voice.”

“I perfected it long before this little girl was planted.” Margo patted her belly.

I bumped into my water glass and Ian braced his hand over the top before it splattered across the table. He frowned at me and I blew out a breath.

We hadn’t decided on the timing of this announcement, but I just couldn’t wait any longer to spill.

“Nick, can you pass me the guac, please? Oh, and we’re having a baby.”

The clink of silverware and laughter immediately stopped.

“What?” Simon cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, what?”

“So, not the only Kagan coming into the world soon.” Ian mirrored his brother with his arm propped behind my chair.

“Does no one know how to use a damn condom in this group?” Nick tossed his napkin on the table, stood, and picked up his plate. He stalked into the kitchen without another word.

“We, um…planned it.” My voice sounded unsure and I hated that. I sat up straighter. “When we got back together, we talked about it and decided we didn’t want to wait.”

“Things went a little quicker than we thought they would, but we’re happy about it.” Ian smiled at me. “Guess it was just meant to be.”

“Wait.” Simon laced his hands together and set them carefully on the table. “You guys have barely known each other what? Six months? And not only are you not married, but you’re just winging it and decided to have a baby? At least knocking her up by accident makes sense.”

My heart lurched. I knew the news would be a little weird for everyone, but not quite this bad.

“Hey. Careful there, brother. That’s the mother of my child you’re talking about.”

“Wow.” Simon stood and collected a few dishes of his own and followed Nick into the kitchen.

Margo looked down at her hands, then back up at me. “I think it’s wonderful. You’re young and full of energy. Because with that one, I’ll bet you will have your hands full.” Her smile was soft and sweet, not forced.

Yes, we’d kind of done everything backward, and no, we hadn’t exactly assumed we would get pregnant that fast. But Ian wasn’t wrong about it being meant. Then again, the odds had been pretty high with the level of sex going on at our place.

“Li?”

“Does Aunt Sarah know?”

It was my turn to fidget. “Yes. We told them right after we found out. We’re not ashamed about it.” I found Ian’s hand under the table and tangled my fingers with his. “I love him and he’s not going anywhere.”

I hated the stricken look on my cousin’s face. Babies and Lila were now a bit of a touchy subject. It wasn’t like she didn’t have children. She and Nick had twin girls. But they wanted another baby and were having some difficulties making it actually happen.

I hated feeling like I couldn’t talk about it.

Lila suddenly moved over into Nick’s chair and hugged me. “If you’re happy, I’m happy.” She narrowed her eyes at Ian. “Did you talk to her brothers?”

Ian cleared his throat. “Oh, we had a conversation.”

“And still no ring on my cousin’s hand.” She sat back. “Brave.”

Ian looked down at our linked hands, brushing his thumb over my ring finger.

It was no one else’s business how our relationship worked. I knew Ian still had some self esteem issues to get through, but there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he loved me. None. That had never, ever been our problem. In fact, the love part had always been the easiest.

Conforming to what people thought we should be—that was a bit more of an uphill battle. Between my last art showing and the sudden fame I sure as hell wasn’t used to, and Ian blowing up with his new EP, things had been a little crazy. We’d figured making a baby would take a few months at least.

Wrong.

Jesus take the wheel? Nope, for us it was all about fate.

Just how we liked it.

“Her brothers like me. Mostly.”

I laughed. “They tested their latest moonshine on him and he has a very impressive liver, according to Hayes.”

Ian sat back in his chair. “The only one who can outdrink me in that crew is Beck. He’s truly terrifying.”

“You have no idea,” Li said with a grin.

“Oh, he does.” I relaxed in my chair. I knew we were going to be just fine. I had faith in him, us, and this baby. “I protect him when necessary.”

“She does. She’s way scarier than her brothers.”

I had to laugh. We might be moving too fast to some, but in my heart, we felt right on time.

At least in between the panic attacks.