Laura

Laura knew that the drone of the airplane engine ringing in her ears wasn't real. She knew it was just her own mind reminding her of what terrible things could happen. She'd started hearing that horrible engine anytime she was too quiet. It was the sound of loss.

She had to find Dallas. She needed her brother to be okay and safe. She was supposed to watch out for him. She was supposed to keep him safe. Mom and Dad had asked her to. They asked her before they left. They put it in their wills that she would watch over Dallas and Ivy if anything happened to them.

And she was failing.

She had only been in charge for a few months and she had already lost Dallas. He was out there, wandering around in the snow. He was cold and scared. She'd lost him. What was she going to tell Ivy?

Laura looked up, trying to see the airplane making the noise in her mind. A snowflake landed on her cheek.

And now it was snowing. Her brother was lost in the snow.

She couldn't have stopped the tears if she tried. The engine droned through her mind, telling her that she was going to lose everything she cared about. She tried to keep the sobs of terror and loss inside, to keep them where she was in control, but it was no use. Her body shook and couldn't contain them.

She didn't want Ethan to see her like this. She didn't want anyone to see her break like this, but especially not him. Of all the people in all the world, he was the last person she wanted to see her fall apart.

But, somehow, she was in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug and holding him to her. He whispered into her hair. She wasn't sure what he was saying, but it sounded comforting. It sounded safe. He was solid beneath her. The engines stopped humming as he held her close. He made her feel safe for the first time in months.

She cried into his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him. He smelled so good, just like he did at the Christmas party.

But, he didn't want her. His secretary had made that abundantly clear. He had changed his number just so he wouldn't have to deal with her. This comforting was just pity. He felt sorry for her.

She pushed him away and wiped at her face, turning into the wind. She didn't want his pity. She didn't need it.

“I have to find my brother.” The words hurt coming out of her raw throat.

“Laura,” he said, reaching out to touch her. She shied away from his touch. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel bad for her. He slowly brought his hand back to his side. “We'll find him.”

A fresh sob grew in her chest. “But where? Where is he? He could be anywhere!” She motioned to the mountains behind her, but even they were hidden with the snow coming down. “I have to find my brother. My parents need me to keep him safe.”

“Your parents will understand,” he said. “I'm sure they'll tell you it's not your fault.”

She turned on him, anger replacing despair.

“No they won't!” Her voice came out shrill and high. “They're dead. They can't tell me anything.”

His eyes went wide and his mouth opened and then shut. He cast about for a moment before finding the words he was supposed to say. “I'm sorry.”

She wrapped her arms around her. She took a deep breath. This wasn't his fault. He was doing his best to help.

“That's why I have to find him,” she said quietly, looking at the snow collecting on the grass. “I'm supposed to watch out for him. I'm not just his big sister. I'm his parent now. I'm supposed to make sure he's okay.”

Tears rolled down her face. They were hot, but as soon as the wind hit them they grew cold on her face. She tried to stop, but they just kept coming out of her eyes. He reached over and put a hand on her shoulder. The touch was gentle and kind. She thought about pulling away, but his touch was warm and she needed it in this cold world.

“We'll find him. I promise.”

“How can you promise that?” she asked. They'd been searching everywhere and hadn't found him yet.

“Because I can,” he told her. “I'll get helicopters and the whole Denver Search and Rescue team up here. We'll find him.”

Laura lifted her eyes to his. He meant his words. His light green eyes held determination and honesty. He wasn't going to let her down. A little of his strength flowed into her and she nodded. She didn't dare open her mouth or she knew she'd just start crying again.

He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Let's keep looking, okay?”

She nodded. He moved to her side, guiding her to search in a new area. The snow was coming down harder now. It already coated the grass and was making the rocks and dirt wet. She tried not to think about what was going to happen when night came and everything froze.

“Did you know that Pluto isn't a planet anymore?” Ethan asked.

She frowned and looked up at him. “Yeah? Doesn't everybody?”

“No. I just found out today.” He shrugged and let out a long-suffering sigh. “My whole childhood was a lie.”

She chuckled at his melodrama, and he smiled at her. He was obviously trying to cheer her up and get her mind off her brother. She was grateful.

“Thank you,” she said, tucking her chin into her coat to hide her smile.

“For what?” he asked. “Crushing your hopes and dreams about Pluto, too?”

She smiled again.

Together, they circled the house one more time. They checked the doors just to make sure, but nothing changed. They were no closer to finding her brother. The snow continued to come down, hiding the world in white. It was so quiet now that it felt like they were the only two people left in the world.

“Let's go check over there,” Ethan suggested, pointing to a supply shed. It seemed like a good place to look. Two kids could easily hide inside of it, especially if they wanted to get out of the storm. She nodded and together they leaned into the wind and walked over.

Ethan pulled the shed door open. Laura looked anxiously inside to see just a wheelbarrow, a couple of shovels, and some bags of dirt for the summer. There were no boys and no dog. She blinked hard as she stepped inside to look again, just in case.

The shed was sheltered from the wind, so it was warmer inside. It smelled of sawdust and dirt, which made Laura's nose itch slightly. She stood in the center of the small storage shed and tried to pull herself together. Darkness pulled at her core, telling her that this was the end of things. Her brother was gone. She'd lost him and it was all her fault.

And then Ethan squeezed her arm, bringing her back to the present. His touch centered her. It comforted her. When he touched her, it didn't feel quite as terrible. There was hope when he held her. She let out a shaky breath.

“We'll find them,” he promised her again, as if reading her mind. She nodded, more because it felt like what she was supposed to do rather than she believed it.

“We found them!” the radio at Ethan's hip squawked. Laura's entire brain laser focused to the voice at Ethan's hip. He grabbed the walkie-talkie and held it up between the two of them. “This is Ella and Jace! We found the boys! We found them!”

Laura's heart started and stopped about three times. She forgot how to breathe. She forgot how to stand. The dark despair inside of her vanished so quickly it left her dizzy.

“They were out in the back field,” Ella explained over the walkie talkie, her voice bubbling with excitement. “Jupiter hurt his paw and they didn't know how to get him back home. We've got them and we're coming in! Over.”

Ella reached for the radio. She didn't even take it from Ethan, she just hit the talk button. “Dallas is with you, right? He's okay?”

“He's just a little cold,” Ella told her. “We'll be back at the main house in just a few minutes. Over and out.”

Laura stared at the walkie-talkie. Ethan was still holding it, but her hand was wrapped his. She felt giddy and light. She wasn't sure if she was about to start laughing, or crying, but either way she was on top of the world.

“He's okay,” she whispered. She felt like singing and dancing. Her little brother was okay. She wasn't going to have to go home to another empty room. She wasn't going to have to donate someone else's things again. There wasn't going to be a funeral.

“See? I told you we'd find them,” Ethan said, his smile big. He looked genuinely happy for her.

It might have been the smile. It was probably just excitement and nerves. Laura wasn't sure what made her do it, but she didn't stop to think. She just leaned forward, put her hands on either side of his face, and kissed him.