Chapter 18

I woke up alone. 

Groggy, body aching in the most delicious way, I groped along the nightstand, knocking over something that sounded like a water bottle, trying to find whatever the hell it was that was vibrating. 

The back of my hand connected with the annoying shaking thing and clamped over it.

The vibrations rode up my arm, settling at the base of my spine, and I raised my head from the pillows, eyes swollen as though I’d been punched multiple times in the face. 

Morning sunlight streamed in through the windows and I stared around the room, for one moment not sure where the hell I was.

Then I remembered. 

Everything. 

Nobuki’s hands. 

His cock. 

I rubbed a hand over my swollen lips. 

Wow. 

My phone kept on vibrating and I turned off the alarm set to seven in the morning. I had an hour to take a shower, pack my bags, and get down to the lobby if I wanted to make the one o’clock flight. 

I fell back into the sheets that smelled like lavender with just the faintest unfamiliar scent. 

Bringing the sheets to my nose, I breathed in deep. 

Nobuki. 

My gaze went up to the ceiling and I realized my plan of fucking my boss and getting him out of my system had failed. 

Failed miserably, as a matter of fact. 

I had hopes that I would wake up with a vague sense of disappointment, but instead all I could think about was the contract. 

The contract with no expiration date. 

The breath hitched in my throat and I put an arm over my face, covering my eyes but unfortunately not being able to pull a cover over the memories of the night before. 

That Nobuki gave me the best orgasm ever was the truth. 

That he promised more of the same in the future made my pussy clench. I groaned low, realizing that instead of getting him out of my system, somehow I had become even more enthralled with him. 

I turned over on my stomach and mashed my head against the pillows a few times, as though I thought it could knock some sense into me. 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I muttered. “I am so stupid.”

After a few minutes of lying facedown on the fluffy pillows, I literally rolled out of bed and staggered to the bathroom, my lower torso throbbing and almost swollen. 

The hot water came on instantly and I basked under the relaxing spray, already regretting that I would have to get out. 

Because if I got out I would have to dress and then pack. 

Then I’d have to go downstairs and face Julian who was taking us to the airport. 

You’ll think about my offer?

Give me—us—a chance.

My throat swelled. 

I thought I was being so smart. I never imagined that with Nobuki everything I had dreamed was possible. 

But it was possible. 

And I couldn’t let it go. 

I needed to know him more, had to have him again, even if it meant I would end up losing myself. 

Trying to shake the maudlin thoughts out of my mind, I snorted and scrubbed myself so hard my skin was pink by the time I turned off the water. 

I dried my hair and tied it back into a high ponytail, the knot so tight it almost brought tears to my eyes. As far as makeup went, I just applied a thin layer of BB cream, a thin layer of cherry lip balm, and that was it. 

I almost looked normal. 

Almost.

I leaned closer to the mirror, fingers on my lips. 

My mouth definitely looked puffy. 

While it wasn’t unbecoming, when I thought about what, or who, had sucked on them, it was still disconcerting and I turned away, stuffing my yet-weak legs through a pair of black jeans. 

I threw on a loose black T-shirt over a plain black sports bra and put on thick black socks before I slipped my feet into black Converse high-tops and jammed on a plain black baseball cap, since I didn’t have any sunglasses and the sun shining through the window showed me a blinding morning. 

I didn’t even bother folding my clothes. I just swept everything on the bathroom sink into a plastic bag then stuffed that plastic bag and everything I could find into my suitcase. There was no point in making everything neat; I’d have to wash it all once I got home and anyway, the longer I tarried, the more my stomach wobbled uncomfortably about the conversation ahead of me. 

Making sure to leave a tip on the pillow, I zipped up my suitcase and took a deep sniff of the lavender-scented air that, to me, seemed to also smell of sex, of Nobuki, of us. 

In this small hotel room, my dream had come true. 

I finally fucked my boss. 

I grinned. 

Or rather, he had fucked me. 

And it was, according to the contract, going to happen again. 

Anticipation made my thighs rub together and I took another deep breath of that air. 

My phone vibrated and I saw a message pop up on the screen.

We’re waiting in the lobby. 

Dear God. I tried to bolster what little courage I had and left that hotel room, already steeling myself for Julian’s censure.  

I didn’t think he would get very angry, but then again, I found it easier to deal with worst-case scenarios. 

By the time the elevator made it down to the ground floor, my legs were shaking and I was glad my suitcase was of a sturdy build because at that moment it was supporting me rather than the other way around. 

My gaze searched the lobby filled with the early departing crowd, and I found Nobuki standing by a potted fern, checking his phone. 

He had dressed just as casually as I had, opting for a dark blue T-shirt and blue jeans with white running shoes. 

I paused, drinking in the sight of him. This was the first time I had seen him dress in anything else but business wear and it was surprising to see him so casual. 

But he looked good, his hair tied back into a tiny queue. I paused, gaping like an idiot, getting jostled from behind by an older woman pulling a bag almost as big as she was. 

After a flurry of apologies, she careened toward the front doors and I rolled my luggage toward Nobuki. 

He saw me coming halfway and snapped his phone shut before slipping it into his back pocket. 

His brow raised as I stopped in front of him. “Are you going to a goth concert?”

His tone was the same, still cold, somewhat dismissive. It was hard to believe this was the man who had licked his fingers, wet from my orgasm. 

“Why?”

“All the black you’re wearing.”

It didn’t occur to me until then that I indeed was wearing black, and I looked down at my ensemble. “I didn’t realize.”

He tilted his head to one side. “Do you like that color?”

“Black is easier to wash and doesn’t show stains,” I said staunchly, daring him to say something about my choice of clothing. “It’s the perfect color for clothing.”

“Provided you don’t have a white cat,” he said and then his gaze flicked over to the front doors. “There are a few things I would like to go over with you before Julian picks us up.”

I nodded, my throat tight. 

Was he going to apologize for the previous night and promise it would never happen again?

“Julian is not to know about this,” he continued in that smooth, suave voice. “If you say otherwise, I will deny it.”

I winced, but nodded again. 

Was he embarrassed about last night? It was hard to imagine Nobuki being embarrassed by anything.

“Remember what we agreed on last night? No one knows anything. At work, we work. After work…” He let one shoulder rise and fall. “It’s up to you.”

The breath caught in my throat. “Really?”

He looked down at me, so damn imperious and haughty. “I assumed that’s what you wanted?”

What about what you want?

I wanted to ask him, but I didn’t have enough courage. “Don’t worry. No one will know. Besides, no one’s going to believe me. At least this way, Haru won’t kill me.”

His brows furrowed. “Haru?”

“One of your fangirls,” I explained. “She spilled soda on me when she found out you were my new boss.”

He snorted. “How infantile.”

I agreed with him wholeheartedly and opened my mouth to say something, but then I saw Julian’s large black SUV roll to a stop by us. 

“He’s here.” My hand tightened around my luggage handle.

Well. Here goes nothing. 

I got to Julian first just as he was coming around the back of the SUV. The back gaped open just enough for him to lift and he gave me a large grin. 

I was going to miss his smile, that much was true. 

“Hey.” He took my luggage, his gaze flitting to Nobuki behind me. “How’d it go last night?”

Julian is not to know about this.

I bit my lip. I hated to lie to Julian who had been my pillar for the duration for the trip, but…

I shook my head and kept my chin low, knowing he couldn’t see the lie in my eyes with the cap in the way. 

Julian cursed. “Well, shit.”

Nobuki rolled within earshot and hefted his luggage like it was nothing, the impressive muscles on his upper arms bulging as he slid it beside mine in the back. “You’re late.”

Julian laughed. “Yeah, good morning to you, too, man.” He paused and then put a hand on my shoulder. “Nobu, mind if I have a second with Rika?”

Nobuki shrugged and got into the front passenger seat, leaving us with a modicum of privacy. 

Julian rubbed his mouth, his hair glowing almost white in the bright morning sun before he turned to me, the smile gone from his lips. 

“Rika?”

My hands clenched into fists at my side as I shook my head, my eyes resolutely on a patch of black concrete. “I’m sorry, Julian. But I have to go back. I can’t stay here with you.”

He went still and let out a sigh. “Shit.” Then he laughed. “I kind of thought this would happen, but to hear it from your lips…”

Hotness pricked the corners of my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Julian. I wish I didn’t feel this way about Nobuki. I wish I felt this way about you, but I can’t…I can’t…”

Damn it. Why couldn’t I like Julian?

Why didn’t Julian make me burn like Nobuki?

And I might come away with burns, but I preferred it that way. I wanted to embrace the fire, experience the heat, even if I got burned. 

Better to know than never to experience. 

Or something like that. 

“Hey, hey.” His hand was under my chin, lifting my face up to meet his beautiful blue eyes, making it impossible to hide from his kindness. “Hey, it’s not your fault.” The corners of his eyes crinkled. “Or maybe it is. For making me fall for you like this. Man, I’m going to be depressed for a long time.”

I doubted it, not with the way he looked. 

He took a step forward and I felt his lips brush my temple in an infinitely gentle, tender kiss that made my heart swell. 

He stepped back, his hand leaving my chin. “We should go before Nobuki gets impatient and drives off without us.”

I nodded, throat swollen from unshed, miserable, guilty tears. In silence, I clambered in the back seat, while Julian got behind the wheel and started the car. 

He clapped his hands enthusiastically, as though the past few minutes never happened. “I checked the traffic to the airport and it’s not bad. I think we can get there in an hour or so.”

In the car, Nobuki and Julian spoke about future plans concerning the company and I stayed quiet, choosing to stare out the window at the infinitely blue sky, at that wide open space you couldn’t find in Tokyo.

The drone of an airplane somewhere over us told me that we were close and it was about ten minutes later when Julian rolled to a stop outside the international departures terminal. 

“Hey, sorry, hope you don’t mind if I don’t get out,” he said. “I’ve got some work to do, and parking is always a bitch here.” He pulled a lever by the steering wheel and the back door popped open. 

Nobuki nodded and they shook hands. 

While Nobuki got out, Julian turned in his seat to look at me. 

“Sorry,” he said. “Actually, I’d rather not spend any more time with you.”

My jaw tightened as I nodded. “I understand.”

He smiled softly. “Mostly because I’d punch Nobu in the face for taking you away from me.”

Hotness swarmed into the corners of my eyes again, and I jammed a hand against my mouth, trying to keep from sobbing like a little girl. 

He looked away. “He’s a good guy.”

I nodded. “I know.”

Because even though he was cold and haughty, I knew there was something there. Something that made him buy medicine for a woman he didn’t like. Something that made him give Julian and me the time I needed. 

Julian’s blue eyes darted over to the side of the street where Nobuki waited with our luggage. “I’ll see you later.”

I nodded again, unable to say anything. 

Then I got out, because I didn’t want him to see me cry. 

I kept my head low as I grabbed my luggage handle and plowed into the terminal. 

I didn’t want anyone to see. 

Not caring if Nobuki was following me or not, I located the terminal for Korean Air and almost ran to their check-in lines. 

Luckily for me, it seemed as though they were just getting ready to open their lines. Thanking God the company had sprung for business class tickets for Nobuki and myself, I found that I could bypass the long line for economy and went straight to the empty business class line. 

Check in and baggage check went smoothly and, with my ticket in one hand, I went through security by myself. 

I could meet Nobuki at the gate. There was no point in waiting for him. Besides, if he brought up any mention of Julian, I was liable to break into tears. 

It seemed important that he saw me as a strong woman, but the past week had proved me to be quite the contrary. 

Walking past all the duty free shops, I hesitated, wondering if I should pick up something for my parents, even though my mother had insisted that she didn’t need a thing. 

Still, if I came back to Japan without a single thing, she was bound to feel somewhat let down. With that in mind, I picked up a box of Godiva truffles. They were frightfully expensive, but I swallowed a cry of alarm and handed over my personal card. 

As I was walking out with the shopping bag, I remembered my best friend, Ayaka, with a sudden pang of guilt and went back through the line for some shockingly overpriced lip balm. 

With my gift situation all settled and feeling a little stronger, I found the boarding gate for our flight. 

Nobuki had managed to get there before me. He was sitting in the far back and, like always, he was on his phone. Of course he was. The foreign marketing department had been away from the office for a week and I knew how many emails he got in a single day. 

Even if we had left the office, he was working just as hard. His work ethic was stunning. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for whatever would come my way, and took a seat across from him. 

He looked up from his phone. “I’m sorry we didn’t spend some time to buy gifts. The duty free shops in airports aren’t very good.”

Was he not going to mention the way I abandoned him at the curb?

The smile wobbled on my lips. “It’s okay. It’s my fault. There were plenty of opportunities, I just didn’t take them.”

His mouth pressed into a tight line. “With Julian, I suppose?”

I kept my smile somehow. “He was very kind to me.”

Nobuki shook his head. “I’m sorry, Miss Hasegawa.”

That’s right. He was calling me by my last name because we weren’t alone. 

I shook my head. “It’s okay.”

“He’s a good man,” he continued in a thoughtful manner. “He would’ve treated you well.”

I clenched my jaw. I did not want to go down that road. Maybe I wasn’t as prepared as I thought I was. “He would’ve.”

“And yet you chose to return with me.”

I stared at him. “Why…why would you say that?”

Nobuki turned back to his phone. “He asked my permission.”

I blinked in shock. “Your permission?”

“He wanted to know what I would say,” he said. “He wanted to know what the chances were of you taking a chance on him. Of staying here.” 

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “I couldn’t accept his offer. I mean…all of my family…friends…I can barely even speak the language.”

“You seemed to have little problem at the trade show.”

“Did you want me to stay here?” My voice shook. “With him?”

Nobuki’s dark gaze flickered up to me. “I’m surprised, that’s all. You strike me as the practical type. Why take a chance when you could be with someone who loves and respects you?”

“What are you trying to say?”

His eyes narrowed. “There can be nothing between us, Miss Hasegawa. If you are entering our arrangement with misguided hopes of somehow making me fall in love with you, then you are very, very wrong. That will not happen.”

“Trust me, I know,” I bit out, wishing I still had my luggage so I could throw it at him. What a haughty bastard. “All I want out of this is your body. I wouldn’t want a heart as cold as yours anyway.”

His lips curled up. “As long as we’re both aware of the situation.”

“Oh, I am.” 

He turned back to his phone. “Good.”

We sat like that in stony silence for the next two hours, him on his phone and me thumbing through my copy of The Graveyard Apartment. 

When they opened up boarding and called for people in first and business class, Nobuki and I stood up, while I studiously avoided looking at him. 

But then he paused and pulled something out of his pocket. 

I eyed the proffered silver key in his hand. “This is…?”

“My house key,” he said. “I assume you want to meet at my house, as opposed to yours?”

Of course. If my mother ever saw a man walk into my apartment, since my parents owned the building, she’d have us wed within the week. 

I nodded and accepted the key. “Thank you. This is very convenient.”

“Come whenever you want,” he continued in that same casual voice as though this meant nothing to him. “Make yourself comfortable.”

I slipped the key into my front pocket. “Thank you.”

With the key burning a hole in my pocket, I followed Nobuki onto the plane and back to Tokyo.