CHAPTER 2
SAM
WHEN I LIVED IN LA, I spent half of my life in the car, or at least it felt like that.
Between my commute to and from work and trying to reach every other darn place in the city, I felt like I wasted precious hours of my life behind the wheel.
Since I’d moved to Scotland, that had changed dramatically. The year before, the condo where Cecilia and I had lived had been just a short walk away from the set. Now, we were a bit far out in the valley, but our commute to and from work was barely thirty minutes, nothing compared to the traffic in LA.
I was listening to a playlist of songs I’d made recently and was singing my heart out.
Karaoke nights at our favorite pub were still a pretty regular thing, and with my best friend Cecilia being a competitive cow, I had no choice but to keep practicing.
I was singing along with M.I.A.’s “Bad Girls,” thinking how just the year before, I’d been the bad girl. I was the one who’d gotten shunned by her own people.
I had been impulsive, and maybe what I’d done wasn’t right, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that revenge felt good.
Everyone had a short memory in Hollywood in this day and age, and even though Eric and Quinn had found themselves at the center of a certain type of attention they hadn’t asked for, I was the one who’d paid in the end.
But, that really didn’t matter, because if I hadn’t found myself jobless, I would have never made it to Scotland. I might have made some mistakes along the way, but all my mistakes had led me to Hugh, and that felt like a small miracle.
I’d never met anyone else like him, someone who wore his heart on his sleeve and wasn’t afraid of commitment, someone who had big dreams but also valued family above everything else. Time and time again, he’d shown me how much I meant to him, how much he loved me, even when our future wasn’t a certainty.
As I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, I couldn’t help thinking how much things had changed from the previous year.
I wasn’t an outcast anymore.
I had the kind of job I’d been dreaming of for ages. Being a makeup artist on Abarath was as gratifying as it was challenging, and the work made me happy—really happy.
That said, there was no denying Hugh was the one who made my days better.
I had dealt with actors with widely varying personalities ever since I’d started working in LA, but he had been amiable since day one, even when we weren’t together yet. It had almost been strange the way we seemed to get along, on and off the set. When Eric and I had been together, we hadn’t gotten along so well, even at the height of our relationship.
With Hugh, it felt just like the movies, as if I was living my very own romantic comedy. It was almost too good to be true, and sometimes it felt like a cosmic force had matched us together. I remembered the line from Sleepless in Seattle, the one Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks utter before even meeting each other.
It was like magic.
I felt that way most of the time…but then my mind went back to the fact that he’d lied to me.
Why did he do that?
What does he have to hide?
Had I been too unreasonable trying to keep him from spending too many hours working out, obsessing about his body, chasing some kind of unrealistic Hollywood standard? Sure, his role required it—up to a point. I had been worried that both he and his trainer were taking it too far.
I’d only been worried about him; I wasn’t trying to control him. I wanted what was best for him, always, and the fact that he’d lied to me left a bad taste in my mouth.
I felt queasy in my stomach and bile rose in my throat, as if I was going to throw up.
Jesus, Sam. Take a chill pill.
I knew my reaction was exaggerated.
He just didn’t want to upset me, that’s all, I tried to reassure myself.
By the time I made it out to St. Martin, the sky had gotten much darker. I thought about the lights I had seen in Edinburgh and made a mental note to tell Hugh we needed to go back before the festival of light was over. I wondered if we’d have the time. We always seemed to race against it, no matter how much we wanted to slow things down and enjoy life in our quiet, isolated cottage. Just the next day, we’d have to go to his parents’ home, and with a house full of rowdy boys, we’d probably have to sacrifice our privacy quite a bit.
I loved Hugh’s brothers to pieces, but when they were all in the same room, they could be compared to five Cecilias put together, which was entirely too much.
What I was really excited about was the trip I was going to take with my niece and nephew and their mother to the Harry Potter studios in London.
Since my brother-in-law Declan was divorced, I felt the need to get to know his ex-wife so she could feel comfortable with me being around her kids.
Growing up, I didn’t have much of large family. My father’s relatives were in London, and we’d only had the chance to visit a couple of times. On my mother’s side in California, we had no uncles or aunts, and therefore, no cousins.
The MacLeods seemed a tight-knit group, and I wanted to get to know each one of them better. That included being an aunt to Claire and Rory.
They had been absolutely adorable at our wedding, and I couldn’t wait to see the video of them walking down the aisle. Unfortunately, I had been told by our videographer that it wasn’t ready yet. We’d had a wedding magazine take our pictures and videos—part of the cover-up to surprise Hugh—so now we had to wait for them to publish our photos and the article before they’d give us anything.
Impatience didn’t look good on me.
I thought about the other errand I’d had to run in Edinburgh.
I’d wanted Hugh to come along with me, but I realized this way, it would make for a much better surprise.
I drove slowly as I reached the hills that led to our cottage. It was dark, and I constantly worried that a deer or some other animal would jump in front of the car and make me lose control.
I could handle traffic in LA, but I couldn’t handle the wild beasts of the Scottish Highlands.
I took the final turn that separated me from one of the views I loved the most.
Our cottage was small and quaint, but recently updated with all kinds of comforts. At night, you could usually only see the lights that lined the driveway. I looked down in the direction of our home, expecting the lights to be on since Hugh was at the house, but my eyes bugged out at the view of something completely unexpected.
The entire cottage was covered in Christmas lights, just as I was used to doing back in the US. I tried to keep my eyes on the road, but I was distracted by the multitude of color and lights that had now started changing and blinking in synchronized movements.
That man.
He’d lied to me all right, because he’d wanted to pull one over on me—again.
I shook my head in disbelief, unable to stop the huge grin spreading across my face. I pressed my foot on the accelerator, impatient to get home. I forced myself to keep my eyes on the road as the sudden knot in my throat made fresh tears spill out of my eyes. I blinked them away and took a deep breath as I finally made it to the dirt road that led to our house.
Now that I was closer and wasn’t at risk of inadvertently steering the car off a cliff, I took the time to look at all the lights dancing rhythmically around the contours of our cottage.
Our charming, secluded home looked like a gingerbread house in the middle of the glen. I turned off the car impatiently, bolted out of the vehicle, and hurried up to the front door just as my husband came through the door.
His smile was the best welcome home; it sent a rush of adrenaline through my body, and I had no doubt it was the one of best things I would ever see for as long as I lived.
I ran into his arms as the chilly evening air hit my cheeks. His smile grew even bigger, and as I clashed against his hard chest, he wrapped me in his warm embrace and kissed me on top of my head.
“Merry Christmas, Sam,” he whispered in my ear.
There was nothing like the feeling of sheer happiness when you were in the arms of the person you loved the most. I nestled my head in the crook of his neck, his frame surrounded by a halo of Christmas lights. I could have stayed like that forever . . . or at least until my teeth started chattering.
“Fairytale princes got nothing on you, Hugh MacLeod.”
He leaned down to kiss me, his lips barely brushing against mine. I let him, but then I suddenly remembered how I’d made myself sick over the fact that he’d lied to me.
All because he wanted to surprise me.
I pulled back as he tried to capture my mouth with his, and he gave me a confused look, eyebrows drawn.
I let out a breath and pursed my lips together.
“I want to kiss you, but I also want to punch you.”
A hearty, surprised laugh escaped his lips, and then he let me go and opened his arms out in surrender, as if he welcomed a punch from me.
“Go for it. I can take it.”
“Relax. I’m just kidding, but you did have me worried sick, you know.”
I looked past him, at the lights on the house that filled my eyes and made my heart swell in my chest. On set, everyone had been so ready to go home for the holidays that I had been missing a bit of the holiday cheer. If there was one thing I had been missing about home, it was having the house decorated.
We had no time to get a tree or do anything. Plus, we were going to leave for the holidays, so it seemed pointless to get the cottage decked out if we weren’t going to be there.
Hugh must have sensed I was missing something.
I looked up at him as the emotion bubbled up in my chest all over again and my eyes got misty.
Maybe it was because I always loved Christmas, but I felt terribly emotional.
What is wrong with me?
He took my hand and we circled around the house, looking at every corner of the cottage.
“I can’t believe you did this. Did you do it all by yourself?”
“Winston helped. I couldn’t find a company that would be willing to come all the way out here to hang a few lights, so . . .”
“Oh.” Winston had been on my shit list ever since he’d put Hugh on a very strict diet at the beginning of season two; now I would have to thank him.
“That was nice of him to help you.”
“You know the man is always up for a challenge.”
I cocked an eyebrow in response, because I did know that. He had a knack for challenging my husband to the most taxing fitness routines.
I took my husband’s hands in mine and gave them a gentle squeeze.
“Hugh, this is wonderful. Thank you. I love it so much.”
“I’m glad you do, Sam. I know you’re happy here, but sometimes I do worry if ye miss home even a wee bit. I figured ye would probably like to keep some of your traditions here, ye ken.”
“But why did you have to lie to me? I don’t understand.”
“So I could see this,” he replied in a proud, solemn tone as he reached for my face and cradled my jaw with his warm hand. “You have no idea how amazing your face looks when you’re surprised. I don’t think I will ever forget the way you looked at me when I sang to you at that Oscars party, or the way you reacted when I told you this place was ours. The look on your face when I proposed to you—I don’t ever want to forget it.”
I let out a sigh of contentment. I knew what he meant.
It was the same for me. I still remembered the way he’d looked at me as I made my way down the aisle, still remembered the look of stupor on his face and his dazzling smile.
“Oh, Hugh. Every time I think I couldn’t love you more than I do already, you do something that tops everything else.” Tears threatened to spill all over again.
What is it with the waterworks today?
Then I reflected on how completely swoon-worthy the situation was; only a heartless person wouldn’t be moved by such a beautiful, romantic gesture, right?
I reached for his lips, and this time I didn’t hold back.