Allie gave Camilla a quick hug then opened the car door. She could have walked the five minutes to the pub but Camilla had been worried the breeze would mess up Allie’s hair and insisted on driving her.

“Have fun, won’t you?” Camilla leaned over and squeezed Allie’s hand.

“I hope so. I’m really nervous now.”

“Don’t be. There’s nothing to worry about. But be careful.”

“Careful? I’ve known this man most of my life. He’s hardly got serial killer potential.”

Camilla laughed. “I didn't mean that kind of careful but you never know someone inside out. So just take care.”

“I will.”

“Oh!” Camilla rummaged in her pocket. “Before you go, I have something for you.”

“You do?” Allie frowned.

“This…” Camilla held out a small square foil packet.

“What’s that?”

“Oh come on, Allie, don’t tell me you’ve never seen one before.”

“A condom?” Allie’s cheeks burned. “I don’t need that. I won’t be getting up to anything that requires protection tonight.”

“Humour me. If you don’t take it and the moment arises, you’ll be disappointed you didn’t. Especially if he’s not carrying any.”

Allie stared at the offending square of foil and thought about what it meant if she accepted it. But what if she didn’t and Camilla was right? She shook her head. There was no way she was sleeping with Chris, gorgeous as he might be. She hadn’t slept with a man since Roger – or before for that matter – and couldn’t quite imagine that kind of intimacy after so long. Yes, people on movies said it was like riding a bike and that you never forgot, but perhaps you did. Perhaps, for this woman on the brink of middle age, sex was a thing of the past.

“Hey Mum.”

“Shit, it’s Jordan!”

Camilla snorted then threw the condom at Allie. It landed on her lap just as he stuck his head around the car door, so she quickly stuffed it into her bag.

“Hi, love. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just popping home for a shower then I’m off to see Max.”

“Oh right?” Allie willed the heat to recede from her cheeks but she was worried that he’d seen the condom. “What’re you two going to be doing this evening then?” She’d been so flustered earlier with worrying about meeting up with Chris, that she couldn’t remember if Jordan had already told her. During her makeover, he’d been out on his bike, and he hadn’t returned before she left.

“Oh, we, um… we’re going to be gaming.” Was it her imagination or had Jordan’s cheeks darkened? But perhaps she was projecting her own discomfort onto her son.

Pull yourself together…

Jordan pushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead and frowned.

“You look really nice, Mum.”

“Do I?” Allie sank into her seat.

“Why are you all dressed up?”

“We’re off to the pub.” Camilla nodded. “Girls’ night out.”

“Right. Well have fun. I’ll see you later.” Jordan tapped the car roof then cycled away.

“Camilla.” Allie grimaced. “He could have seen that.”

“I take it you didn’t tell him about your date then?”

“It’s not a date—”

Camilla held up a hand. “Whatever. But if it’s not, why didn't you tell him you were meeting Chris?”

“I just don’t want to worry him. He’s been through a lot, you know?”

“We all lose loved ones, Allie. I know Jordan lost his dad but he is all grown up now. You can’t protect him from everything forever and surely it’s better to be honest. This is hardly a big village and he’ll soon hear about your da… evening out with Chris from someone.”

“I’ll tell him later. That I met up with Chris for a meal just to catch up on old times.”

“Probably best to be honest with him.”

“Right, I’m off.”

“Text me later. Unless you’re… you know, busy. And if that happens, don’t video call me whatever you do.” Camilla giggled and Allie shut the car door with a bit more force than was necessary.

Then she hooked her bag over her shoulder, crossed the road and entered the small garden of The Red Fox. Her heart was pounding, her palms were clammy and her stomach was full of butterflies.

But in spite of all this, she was also a teeny bit excited.

When Allie entered the pub, the aroma of beer and chips greeted her and her stomach rumbled. She hadn’t felt hungry all day, but she now realised she needed to eat something.

She scanned the room and spotted Chris at a table in the corner. He raised his pint in greeting.

Damn he looks good.

She tried to push the thought away but it lingered as she took in his salt-and-pepper hair and freshly shaven face. As she approached him, the warmth in his dark eyes made her skin tingle, and when she leaned in to kiss his cheek, her legs weakened at his delicious spicy scent.

“Allie, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look pretty good yourself.”

He smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled adorably. The plain black jumper he wore with grey jeans and black boots suggested self-confidence; he didn’t feel the need to overdress. She wondered if he’d fretted about what to wear this evening then squashed the idea. Of course he hadn’t, he probably hadn’t given it any thought at all.

“Well thank you. You know,” he said as he pulled out a chair for her, “I was actually quite nervous. I had no idea what to put on. I didn’t want to look like I hadn’t tried yet I didn’t want to look like I’d tried too hard.”

Allie coughed. Her mouth and throat had dried up. “No way!”

“Yes, way.”

She coughed again. Damn her throat was dry.

“Let me get you a drink. I didn’t order you one because I wasn’t sure what you like these days.”

“Pinot Grigio, please.”

She hung her bag on the back of her chair and looked around. There were a few regulars and a few unfamiliar faces but The Red Fox offered a delicious menu and cosy atmosphere, so she wasn’t surprised to see people she didn’t know. Chris had chosen a good table; fairly private and far enough from the bar to avoid being jostled by people carrying trays of drinks.

He returned with a large glass of white and handed it to Allie.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

She took a sip of the wine, enjoying the delicate peach fragrance and crisp finish, then placed the glass on the table. She noticed that Chris hadn’t bought himself another drink but he still had half a pint left. So he was taking his time, as she intended doing. She’d prefer to stay relatively sober and in control because she didn’t know how she’d react to being with him again if alcohol lowered her emotional defences. Although being around him made a defiant part of her feel as if she wouldn’t mind losing control, just for once.

“Shall we check the menu?” he asked.

“Yes, please. I’m quite hungry, actually, so I wouldn’t mind eating soon.”

Allie took the menu he proffered and opened it. But the small black print was blurry and even when she squinted, she couldn’t decipher it. She peered over the top of the menu at Chris and he seemed to be reading his with no trouble at all. She couldn’t remember him wearing glasses when they were younger but then didn’t most people need them at some stage? The optician had told her that it was common to need glasses for reading once you hit forty.

Chris caught her watching him. “Everything okay?”

“Yes. Uh… no. I can’t see without my glasses these days.”

“Thank goodness for that!” He laughed. “Me neither but I didn’t want to put mine on. Vanity, eh?”

“After three?” She swung her bag around and unzipped it.

“I will if you will.”

He pulled a small case from the pocket of the suede jacket that hung on the back of his chair, then opened it and held out a pair of square dark-rimmed glasses. “With writing, there’s no way I can cope without these. I try not to wear them but it’s a losing battle. I might only be forty-four but things start to slide.”

Allie rummaged in her tiny bag. When her fingers found her glasses case, she tugged at it, but it was lodged beneath her purse. She tugged again and it loosened and shot out, but as it did, a shiny square of foil came flying out too. Allie watched in horror as it soared through the air then landed in Chris’s pint.

He stared at his glass.

Allie stared at his glass.

Then they both started to laugh.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

His face had turned red and he held his stomach as if it hurt. Allie grew hot all over as mortification mingled with amusement.

Bloody Camilla!

“Well,” Chris said, when he finally caught his breath, “I didn’t expect that to happen.”

“Blame my friend, Camilla. She forced it on me in the car earlier and wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She took hold of his glass and fished out the condom then dried it with a napkin and stuffed it back in her bag.

“I have to admit, I’m disappointed now. I thought my luck was in.”

Allie shook her head and removed her glasses from the case then put them on.

“I’m not that kind of girl.”

He put his glasses on then gazed at her from behind the lenses, his dark eyes twinkling. “No you’re not, Allie. You’re a woman now.”

Allie raised her menu to hide her face.

What was happening here? What was this strange sensation coursing through her body, making her feel so vibrant and alive?

Whatever it was, she liked it.

An hour and a half later, Allie was thoroughly relaxed. She sat back in her chair and fingered the stem of her wine glass. She’d enjoyed her dinner of vegetarian lasagne and chunky beer-battered chips and was waiting for dessert to arrive. Chris was good company and he made her laugh as he told her stories about people he’d met over the years and about his experience with an overly zealous fan. The woman had followed him everywhere for six months, attending every book signing and reading, before finally deserting him for the next bestseller, a reality TV celebrity who had his autobiography published at twenty-two.

“So you’ve done well with your books then?”

“I’m no Stephen King but I do all right. My books are a kind of hybrid genre of thriller and horror.”

“Are you with just one publisher?”

“Tied in for the next three books because of a rather generous advance but who knows then? This business is a rollercoaster. One day you’re number one, the next…” He shrugged. “It’s not for the faint-hearted, that’s for sure.”

“Have you met lots of famous people?” Allie asked, thinking about her own sheltered existence within the confines of Heatherlea. Yes, she’d had holidays and headed to London for the odd show or night out with the girls, but apart from that, she was either in the café or in bed alone. It didn’t bother her at all normally, but she realised that her life probably seemed a bit sheltered and possibly even boring to Chris.

“Some. At book signings and events like the London Book Fair. But at the end of the day, celebs are just people like you and me.”

Allie watched as he took a sip of his second pint. His full lips were still so kissable and with his movie star looks, he probably fitted in around beautiful people with ease.

“What about you though, Allie? I noticed how you’ve deflected my questions so far tonight. Very cleverly but you’ve done it all the same. What’s life been like for you?”

“Oh…” Allie swallowed hard. “There’s not much to tell.”

Chris leaned forwards and covered her hand with his. His skin was warm and smooth and goosebumps rose on Allie’s arms. She met his gaze and her mind went blank.

“Allie, you’ve been through a hell of a lot. Don’t underestimate that. You lost your husband and brought your kids up alone. I know they’re older but you still had to be there for them. You renovated an old cottage and turned it into a successful business. I know I haven’t been around but I heard how you were doing from my mother. She said you coped admirably with it all.”

“She did?” Allie fought back her surprise. All she’d ever known of Mrs Monroe was as an acid-tongued woman who never seemed to have a good word to say about anyone.

“She did. Mum always told me good things about you, although the rest of the village didn’t enjoy such leniency. She said you did yourself proud and encouraged me to come back and see how you were doing. On more than one occasion.”

Allie sipped her wine.

“That’s not exactly how she came across.” She thought of the woman who’d cast icy stares across the post office and been painfully blunt when she’d come into the café.

“My mother was a harsh old bat at times, I know.” He sighed.

“Chris, are you okay?”

“I still can’t believe she’s gone. I mean, I didn’t come back all that often but I knew she was here. Harsh as she could be, she was still my mum.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged then nodded.

“Thanks. I guess it’ll just take time to come to terms with it. Like everything in life, right?”

“It’s still early days.” Allie fought the urge to jump up and hug him. She hated to see his pain.

“She thought very highly of you, Allie. She wanted…” He shook his head.

She realised he was still holding her hand.

“She wanted what?” she asked gently.

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“It does. Tell me.”

“Okay. She wanted me to… for us to… she always thought we should have been together. If she ever seemed at all resentful, it was because of that.”

“But why would she have thought that we could have been a couple?”

“She knew how I felt about you.”

“How you felt about me?”

He inclined his head.

“After all, that was why I left.”

“Oh Chris. I didn’t know.”

Allie turned her hand over and squeezed his fingers. He’d had feelings for her? All these years had passed and she’d seen Mrs Monroe around the village, completely unaware that Chris’s mother had known something she hadn’t. As a mother, Allie could understand how Mrs Monroe must have worried about her son. No one wanted their child to be sad and Allie thought she’d struggle to hold back if anyone ever hurt Mandy or Jordan.

But now she wondered. If Mrs Monroe had spoken to her about it, could things have worked out differently? Would it have changed anything?

“It’s all in the past now.” Chris smiled then gently pulled his hand back. “But tell me more about you and your children. How are they getting on?”

“Mandy’s twenty-four now. I can’t believe that I have a daughter six years off thirty. That’s when you know how quickly time has passed. She’s working in London as a publishing intern.”

“Brilliant career ahead of her, no doubt.”

“I hope so. She’s very driven and motivated. Not at all like I was at her age.”

“Don’t be so down on yourself. You were full of ambition but life kind of got in the way. Besides, I’m full of admiration for you and what you’ve achieved, especially in light of the circumstances. And things were different when we were young.”

“I guess so. I just couldn’t envisage leaving Heatherlea after I got pregnant. The world suddenly seemed far too big and scary. Motherhood creates a vulnerability in you that wasn’t there before; everything takes on a different slant as you realise what could hold potential danger for your child.”

“I didn’t really have any intention of leaving myself until… well, things changed.”

Allie nodded, suddenly nervous about hearing more and feeling a need to fill the space between them with innocuous conversation. “Then there’s Jordan. He’s twenty-three now and still living with me. He does some shifts at the café and some odd jobs around the village. He’s a good lad.”

“Does he have any ambitions?”

Allie scanned Chris’s face, wondering for a moment if he thought Jordan should be out in the world by now, following a career in a city office perhaps, but all she found in his eyes was interest.

“Not that I know of. I’ve tried since he was about fourteen to get him to consider different careers and qualifications but he was never interested. He hated school and couldn’t wait to leave. He says he doesn’t care about earning lots and that he’ll be fine as long as he earns enough to put food in his belly and a roof over his head. Of course, at the moment, he doesn’t have to worry about a mortgage or rent, but I like having him around. It would be too quiet without him there. And too tidy.” She laughed. “I suppose I could have pushed him harder but I think kids these days have it tough enough. They’re all competing to climb the ladder or to be famous and I’m sure it’s why depression is on the increase. Pressure makes people miserable and I just want my children to be happy, whatever they’re doing. If Jordan is content being so laid-back, then that’s fine with me. Perhaps he’ll take over the café once I’m too old. Who knows?”

In all honesty, she was glad Jordan was so relaxed about life. If he’d been more like Roger, she’d have been worried about him. The quest for perfection was one that often ended in disappointment.

“Sounds like you’re all doing well.” Chris smiled. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around after Roger…”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I completely understand. You’re a busy man.”

“I should have come back for the funeral but I just knew how awful it would be.”

“It was awful. But it’s been six years since he passed away and so much has happened since then. He’d have understood why you weren’t there.” She took another sip of wine, gazing into her glass to avoid meeting Chris’s eyes. “I read the newspaper stories about your success and watched that TV interview a few years back.”

“Sorry about that.” Chris finished his pint.

“Hey it was interesting.”

He shook his head.

“I was so uncomfortable in front of the camera.”

“You couldn’t tell. It’s wonderful to see how successful you are. I mean, we went to the same school and were friends when we were younger and look how well you’ve done. I’m so proud of you.” Her breath caught in her throat. Did she have any right to say that?

Chris lowered his eyes and toyed with a cardboard beer mat. He turned it over and ran his finger over the logo at its core.

“I’ve done all right. I’m comfortable but I’m tired too. It’s not easy travelling so many weeks of the year and living out of a suitcase. To be honest, Allie, I think as I get deeper into my forties that I’d like to put down roots.”

“Village life appealing to you now?”

“Something like that.” He met her eyes and her heart raced at the intensity of his gaze.

“Shall we have another drink? Something to wash our dessert down with?”

“Go on then. But only one more as I’ve got to be up early for work.”

“The burden of being self-employed, eh?”

“Tell me about it.”

When Chris went to the bar, Allie took the opportunity to check her mobile. No missed calls but a text from Camilla asking if she’d managed to get a kiss yet. She shook her head then stuffed her mobile back in her bag without replying. There’d be no kissing or any other shenanigans this evening.

Or any evening, for that matter.