Camilla accepted a mug of mulled wine from Chris as she stood in the front garden of The Cosy Cottage Café. It was a beautiful cold crisp winter evening and the weather was perfect for the carol service.

“Thank you.”

She raised the mug to her nose and sniffed. The combined scents of the ruby wine, cloves, cinnamon, brandy and citrus were beautifully festive. An image of strolling around the Christmas market with Tom flashed into her mind and she gasped with pain and sadness. This year, she’d hoped Christmas would be a time of celebration that she’d enjoy with Tom. But it wasn’t meant to be. She closed her eyes and forced the image of his handsome face away then opened them to find Chris gazing curiously at her.

“It’s the mulled wine. It smells so good.” She took a sip and shivered with delight as it tingled on her tongue then warmed her throat and belly as it travelled down.

“Might have known you’d be here sampling the wine already!” Dawn nudged her.

“Oh yes, sorry you can’t have any, Dawnie.”

“You wait until next year. I’ll make up for it.” Dawn giggled.

“It’ll be lovely to have another little one around, won’t it?”

Dawn’s eyes shone. “I feel so lucky, Camilla. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. With Rick being around more, our relationship is better than ever. Laura and James are happy, I’m happy, and Rick is like a different man. He’s so much more relaxed, you know?”

“I know and I’m so happy for you.”

“And it’s just wonderful to have Dad here for Christmas.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

Camilla turned and looked around for her father. He was standing at the gate to the café garden with her mother, shaking people’s hands as they arrived. Probably letting the locals know he was back, she realised. Since he’d come to her cottage on Wednesday, he’d been her rock. He’d explained to her mother, Dawn and Rick that Camilla had been a bit under the weather, then gone to see Allie and Honey and said the same to them. Of course, they all knew what was wrong with Camilla, but they also knew that she needed some time to deal with her emotions. So they’d visited her, bringing cakes and chocolates, love and laughter, and she’d managed to act as if everything was all right, even though inside she felt as if her heart had frozen and would never thaw.

Each time her visitors had gone, Camilla had sunk onto her sofa with the throw, and her dad had come to her and held her tight as she’d cried. After her mobile had charged, it had rung several times on the Wednesday,but she’d ignored it then turned it off, not wanting to know if Tom was trying to reach her or not. He had a whole life that she wasn’t a part of and she had to ensure that she still had her life without him.

He had a wife…

She swallowed hard. The thought still burned her insides like bile and she forced herself to push it from her mind. She was Camilla Dix, strong businesswoman, loved daughter, sister, auntie and friend. She would get over this… blip… and move on.

“Hi Camilla.” Rick arrived next to his wife, slightly out of breath.

“What’s wrong with you?” Camilla asked.

“Just as we were leaving the house, Mum phoned and started telling me all about her latest Poldark adventure. I thought I’d never get away, so I told Dawn and the kids to go on ahead and I’d catch up. I didn’t expect Mum to go on for quite that long though.”

“Poldark at Christmas?” Camilla giggled.

“Yes! Paul has taken Fenella back to Cornwall for Christmas. Just the two of them and they’re staying until the New Year.”

“Holed up in a cottage with a sea view.” Rick nodded.

“That’s so romantic.” Camilla’s heart contracted.

“Isn’t it?” Dawn smiled. “Since he found out how low she was feeling, he’s done his best to spoil her. He still has his hobbies but he’s devoting more time to his marriage these days.”

“And long may it continue!” Rick said. “Look, Dawn, there’s Honey and Dane. Best go and say hello.”

“Tell Honey I’ll catch up with her later.”

“Will do. I’m hoping this will wear Laura and James out to be honest because they’re so excited about Santa coming later.”

Camilla kissed Dawn’s cheek then watched as Rick led her sister across the garden. She walked around the side of the café and sat down on a bench under the pergola. Thick cushions had been spread over the benches and the pergola had been draped with colourful fairy lights that glowed in the darkness of the cold, crisp December evening. Beyond the lights, the sky was pitch black and the stars twinkled like diamonds. A few soft grey clouds moved slowly across the sky, creating a layered effect that reminded Camilla how much there was beyond Heatherlea, beyond the earth and how much there was still to discover. It was beautiful and uplifting.

In fact, the whole of the café and the garden contributed to the magical festive mood. The garden was illuminated by the lights of the café that glowed warmly from the windows and by the fairy lights that had been draped over the trees, the front of the cottage itself and the pergola. Gas outdoor heaters were dotted around the lawn, sending warmth into the evening and people gravitated towards them, cradling their mugs of mulled wine or hot chocolate. In the corner of the garden, to the left of the gate, a large Christmas tree stood proudly, dressed with twinkling lights, tinsel and, at the top, a sparkling silver fairy.

As Camilla sat, quietly watching the people she knew gathering for the annual Christmas Eve celebration, Allie appeared at her side.

“Hello you.” Allie sat next to her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” Camilla offered her friend a smile. “It’s been a busy year, hasn’t it?”

“Oh yes it has. For all of us.”

“I’m so glad things have worked out so well for you and Dawnie. Hopefully for Honey too if the way Dane is gazing at her is anything to go by.”

“Well, they’re just friends at the moment but who knows what the New Year will bring.”

“A baby.” Camilla cradled her mug between her hands.

“What?” Allie turned to face her.

“Oh… not Honey or me, of course! I was referring to Dawn.”

“Of course you were.” Allie shook her head. “I think I must’ve sampled too much of that mulled wine as I was making it.”

“You’ll have a lovely Christmas with Chris.”

Allie nodded. “But I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be.” Camilla took Allie’s hand. “I have so much. Look at my family. Reunited at last.”

“It is wonderful to see your mother so happy. Do you think…” Allie bit her bottom lip.

“Think what?”

“Do you think your father will stay?”

“Who knows? I hope so because it is so good to see Mum happy. And he has been amazing this week, almost as if he were trying to make up for lost time.”

“Do you think that’s possible then?”

Camilla paused. Could people make up for their mistakes? Could they really put their hurt aside and learn to forgive.

“I do. I wasn’t sure if I could forgive him, or if Mum could, but now… perhaps it’s the Christmas magic in the air but I feel like I could forgive anything.”

“Perhaps that’s a good thing.”

“What?”

“Well I know what happened with Tom. I made your father tell me, even though he didn’t want to.”

“Oh.”

“Now remember what you said about forgiveness and Christmas magic?”

“Yes, but why…”

Allie nodded at the Christmas tree across the garden and Camilla followed her gaze.

Her heart froze and her stomach dropped to the frosty grass.

“However you feel right now, just talk to him. Misunderstandings can ruin perfectly good relationships.”

“I didn’t think he’d come back. I mean… I did, because he has his business but I didn’t expect to see him today.”

“Well he is back and he was only gone just over a week. Not twenty years like your father. See what he has to say and remember, Camilla, we’re all here for you and we love you.”

Allie hugged Camilla tight then got up and walked away and Camilla was left gazing at Tom. Hairy Pawter was with him and the dog was wearing what looked like a canine version of a Christmas jumper. Tom wore jeans and heavy boots with a padded black North Face jacket and matching beanie. His face looked pale underneath the hat, and as he turned and looked around, he met her eyes and gave a half wave.

She was overwhelmed by an urge to jump up and run. Anywhere. Just to escape the way her heart was thundering and how her stomach churned. But she knew that she wouldn’t, because as much as she’d been hurt by what she’d found out, she had missed him and it was good to see him. Even if it was to say goodbye.

As he walked over to her, she downed the rest of her mulled wine then stood up.

She would face this on her feet like the grown-up that she was.

Camilla Dix was not afraid of anything… because her worst fears had already been realised, so there was nothing left to hurt her.