Over the next week, Ash sank into the stomach-wringing momentum of his old life. He scrubbed, mopped, and polished until his fingers were raw.
Shelly rang twice to see how he was holding up and to make sure he’d be coming in this Thursday. He wasn’t thrilled at the prospect.
He feed Chucky her pill. Chucky, who had been loath to return to her old attic. Who complained and pawed at the window every night.
Danielle arrived back from camp to an unhappy puddle of pee on her bed.
“You could always bring her back to Silver Pines,” River had reminded him, surprising Ash with a coffee and sandwiches and an offer to drive him to his afternoon gig. “You could all live there.”
Tempting too.
More and more by the day.
Maybe . . . maybe . . .
“Wha’cha thinking about, Ashy?” Ash snapped out of his faraway thoughts. Focused on his sister frowning as she tied her hair back.
“Whether I opt for the money, or move in to Silver Pines tomorrow.”
“The money sounds amazing, but I’m cool with whatever you decide.”
Ash reclined on the couch and Chucky trotted over and nuzzled into his lap. “Are you going out?” he asked.
“To see Billy. Stop looking at me like I’m going to get pregnant.”
Ash rang out a sore laugh.
“Here’s an idea: why not ask Shelly out?”
Ash stopped petting Chucky. “I’m not interested.”
“Why not? She’s always so nice and gives you hours when you’re low on cash. She cares about making sure you’re okay when you’re ‘sick’. She clearly thinks you’re hot.”
“She tries too hard,” Ash said, finally pegging what bothered him about Shelly. “She reminds me of Mom.”
“Oh.” Danielle nodded. She understood. Obsessively chasing. “What about another girl?”
“Girls aren’t really floating my boat, and men . . .”
Danielle pulled on a light jacket, eyeing him. “Are you crushing on River?”
Was it that obvious? Not a good sign. “No! We’re friends.”
She threw up her hands. “Just asking. But your reaction seems a little too outraged, don’t you think?”
She didn’t wait for an answer, simply turned, snagged her keys, and left.
Ash thumped his head back against the couch. The truth was, he spent too much of the day thinking of River. His letters. The man’s amused smile, his deep voice. He jacked off to thoughts of fucking him, the more unnerving thought of being fucked by him, and the most worrisome thought of kissing him.
Attraction consumed him. Hell, now he was imagining River reaching into his pants, thumbing his hardening cock as he whispered how much he loved him in his ear.
He gritted his teeth and forced his hand out of his pants.
He wouldn’t become obsessed.
Wouldn’t ruin his one friendship.
* * *
River hadn’t meant to spy.
It was Beauview Library’s open hours after all. He could walk in if he pleased.
And he pleased.
He moved through the library that was dotted with visitors, and caught a glimpse of Ash stacking books Shelly handed him onto a trolley. It was a quiet corner of the library, so their hushed voices carried.
River paused, tucked from view by a shelf of encyclopedias.
“You need to cut your bangs,” Shelly said.
River peered around the corner and bit down on a jealous growl as she touched his hair.
Ash snapped his head up and pinned her with a tired look. “Don’t.”
“Sorry?”
“I don’t like you touching me. I don’t like you always calling me. I don’t like it.”
She dropped her hand like she’d been scalded. “Oh, I . . . I’m sorry.”
They resumed their task in awkward silence, and River debated making an appearance, unsure if that would ease the situation or make it worse.
Ash glanced at the clock ticking on the wall beside them.
Shelly noticed and bristled. “Let’s finish these. Sure you can spare ten minutes. Not like you have a date.”
“Excuse me?” Ash said, his gaze hardening.
“Come on,” she said. “I’ve given you so many shifts when you were hard up. You can give me ten minutes.”
Ash’s frame boiled with anger. River felt it smacking into him from here. Ash drew in a breath, and with perfect calmness, nodded. “I’ll give you ten minutes, and my immediate resignation.”
Shelly paused for the barest moment, and laughed. “Resign? You need this job. You’re not qualified for anything else that pays you as much as I do.”
Ash took the next set of hefty books Shelly dropped into his hands. Ash set them gently on the bottom of the trolley and dusted his hands. “Actually, you’re wrong.”
Without explanation, he walked away from Shelly’s baffled glare.
A light, tingly feeling zipped around River with a nervous aftertaste. Was Ash saying what he hoped he was saying? Would he sign the paperwork and move in to Silver Pines?
Would he be a fixture in River’s corner of the world?
He waited five minutes in the library, giving Ash a few moments of fresh air before he snuck outside and found him at his car.
“Where were you?” Ash asked, narrowing his gaze on him.
River couldn’t stop grinning. Couldn’t admit to eavesdropping, either. “Bathroom. Ready to see my farm?”
River unlocked the car, and Ash slid into the passenger seat. “Ready to see everything.”
After an easy ride out to his parent’s farm, River showed Ash their acreage.
Ash entered the barn, stomping off squishy mud-clots from their feet. “Glad you gave me boots. Who knew how dirty things would get?”
If they were boyfriends, River had the perfect quip that.
As it was, he just laughed, and showed Ash his beloved horse, Hoofy.
“Hoofy?”
“I wish I could say I was nine when I named him, but I was a grown man.”
“Hoofy and Patchy McCuddles. For men so versed in literature, I’m impressed at your naming skills.”
“You’re one to speak. Chucky.”
River snagged a couple of carrots from his coat pockets and handed one to Ash. Ash confidently fed the horse like a natural as if he’d known Hoofy all his life. Or like he wanted to.
Ash gave the golden horse a good hard stroke along her neck. “He has your coloring.”
“And my fashionably messy mane.”
Ash’s eyes lit up. Sharply green in the shaft of afternoon light streaming through the open barn doors.
Hoofy brayed.
“Look, he also has your smile.”
River opened his empty palms to show they were out of delicious carrots. “He wants more of what he can’t have.”
“So that’s what’s behind your smile. What do you want that you can’t have, River?”
You.
River shoved his hands deep into his jacket, and painfully tossed Ash a smirk. “Right now? I want to eat. Then go home and chill.”
They said goodbye to Hoofy and headed back to the car. He was glad his parents weren’t home this weekend, because he’d have been tempted to introduce Ash to them. It would have been disastrous. They’d immediately know Ash meant something.
They’d never believe they were just friends.
A painful conversation to have while Ash looked on.
A painful one to have on his own.
As they sped toward Greenville, Ash kept squirming in his seat.
River waited. A block from Poplar Low, Ash blurted, “Chance’s house is my first job tomorrow.”
River hid a smirk at the not-so-subtle hint. “Maybe you could crash at my place tonight, then? Crack open the Talisker with the boys? My friend Duke will be there as well.”
The soft sigh Ash gave tickled him. “I suppose I could be persuaded . . .”
* * *
Ash should have eaten more dinner, but he’d been too high on the absurdity that this might now be part of his life.
He’d quit Beauview Library.
He’d looked into Shelly’s eye and stood up for himself. His nerves felt smashed together the entire afternoon he was with River, and the whiskey he cradled as he curled up on an overstuffed armchair barely lessened their erratic firing.
“Duke!” Ben said when River led a ridiculously hot guy into the living room.
Immediately, Ash ran a hand through his hair, trying to tame it.
River caught the motion mid-introduction and gave up speaking to grin.
“I’m his friend,” Duke finished for him. “The one he used to party with on a bi-weekly basis.” Duke gave them a calculating glance. Shook his head at River. “You really are a lost cause, aren’t you?”
River’s amused gaze flitted to Ash. He clapped his friend on the back and steered him to the Talisker.
River smuggled away from the boys and sat on the flat arm of Ash’s armchair. He slung his arm across the chairback, and Ash fought not to rest his head back into the warmth.
A fresh glass of Talisker replaced his emptied one. “Here, have mine,” River said.
“If I didn’t know better,” Ash said, breathing in the rich, smoky scent. “I’d think you were trying to get me drunk.”
River leaned down and spoke in his ear. “I am trying to get you drunk.”
It tickled and Ash faced him. “You are?”
“I bet you’ve never had the chance to be drunk in your life.”
Their faces were so close. River’s pupils filled most of his blue iris. Ash licked the taste of whiskey from his lips. “Are you giving me the chance to experience something new?”
River’s gaze bored into his in a way that spiked Ash’s pulse. “I was giving you the chance to celebrate.”
“What are we celebrating?”
“Shift over a couple of inches? I think we can both fit on this chair.”
Ash bunched to the side and River squeezed in. Heat and electricity tingled down the side pressed tightly against River.
They looked toward the boys, laughing over Duke’s phone.
River spoke quietly. “I overheard you in the library.”
Ash’s breath caught. “You did?”
“Please tell me it means you’re taking Silver Pines. For yourself.”
He released the breath with a tremor. “Yes. But I’m nervous.”
“Why?”
Ash laughed lightly. “You know. Because it’s selfish.”
River’s lips lifted in gentle amusement, but his eyes calculated him knowingly. “Selfish?”
“Accepting Lester’s legacy is good for me. Not so much my sister.”
“Have you ever thought about the legacy you’re giving Danielle?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been teaching her that if you love someone, you sacrifice everything for them. You put their needs first, always.”
Ash frowned. “You make that sound like a bad thing.”
“Would you want Danielle doing what you do for her to some guy she’s in love with?”
Ash was stunned by River’s poignant appraisal. He was determined Danielle wouldn’t make the same mistakes as their mom. Determined he wouldn’t either. And he was failing. He was teaching Danielle everything he wanted to avoid.
Ash sipped his drink, letting the alcohol burn warmly down his throat. “Sometimes I can’t believe all this. Meeting you. Silver Pines. It’s a big dream, and it feels frightening.”
“Why?”
“I might wake up.”
River pondered that, rubbing a thumb over the rim of his whiskey glass. The motion had their arms shifting against each other. “Frightening or not, you are in the middle of that dream. You can do nothing and it falls apart around you. Or you can take it and make the most out of it.”
Ash drew in a nervous breath, and handed his whiskey to River. “You’re right.”
“Going to make the most out of it?”
“How about starting now?”
* * *
River didn’t like Ash’s plan. He loved it.
He stopped Ben, Duke, and Landon drinking and rang a driver to take them into Greenville. They made a pitstop at Poplar Low for the gift-deed paperwork. Then River instructed the driver to drop them off at Mirage rooftop restaurant. To sober up.
They hadn’t drunk too much, nothing a good meal wouldn’t sort out.
Ash hesitated at the large glass doors to the restaurant. “I can’t go in there,” he said quietly to River.
Duke overheard. “Sure you can.”
Ash shifted awkwardly, and looked up at River.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. Before he finished, Duke yanked Ash inside, right to their assigned private booth. A waiter was immediately at their service.
River sat across from Ash and nudged the tips of their shoes together under the table. “There are four obscenely wealthy men at this table. You could buy the place and we’d barely blink.” He opened the menu for Ash. “Order anything you like.”
“Are you sure?”
“Couldn’t be surer.”
“In that case . . .” Ash caught the waiter’s attention. “Do you have any cutthroat trout?”
River shook with a laugh.
* * *
Warm light filled Silver Pines, and every step toward the counter felt prickly with excitement.
Ash walked slowly, absorbing the spaciousness of the chapel. The taste of dust from thousands of old books.
Lester’s legacy.
About to become his.
“What are we doing here?” Duke asked, stopping at the mailbox and resting an elbow against it.
“You’re witnessing us signing this.” River waved the gift-deed.
Duke squinted. “What is it?”
River set the contract on the counter with a pen. Looked at Ash as he answered Duke. “All of this belongs to Ash.”
“Silver Pines?”
River snapped an exasperated look at Duke over Ash’s shoulder, and Ash stifled a giggle. “What else could I mean?”
“I dunno,” Duke said. “Yourself?”
Ash stilled. River hesitated, fingers whitening where he pinched the pen. His voice sounded raspy when he spoke. “Ben. Duke. Come here. You’re going to sign this too.”
Ben left Landon’s side and crowded around the deed.
River set the tip of the pen on the donor line and signed. He slid the deed and pen to Ash.
“We sign and that’s it?” Duke asked. “It’s all his?”
“Has to be registered at the local sub-registrar,” Ben said.
“I’ll drop it off first thing,” River said.
This time tomorrow, Silver Pines would be officially his.
Ash picked up the pen. It felt light in his hand. Light and full of possibilities. “Let’s do this.”
Ash clasped his gaze on River, and signed.
* * *
Well into the night, they drank to celebrate.
Ash savored his last few sips of Talisker. Turned out he really was a whiskey drinker. He sat curled on a barstool, watching Landon and River clean up from the grilled cheese sandwiches they’d made everyone.
Ash’s phone had drained of battery and was charging, thankfully. He’d be calling the suits right now and telling them to rip up their contract. Thank you and goodbye.
Probably something he shouldn’t do half drunk. At two in the morning.
Tomorrow. He’d do it then. When he could later recall this as the turning point in his life.
Although, that had already happened, hadn’t it?
The turning point had been River handing over the letter that Lester had written to him.
“Talisker’s gone.”
“Well then,” Duke said with a yawn as he slid from his stool. “So am I.” He slapped River on the back on the way out. “Don’t forget me.”
“Couldn’t if I tried.”
They moved through to the living room. Ash leaned against the cool door frame as the guys said their goodbyes.
Ben had fallen asleep on the armchair in the living room, and Landon smiled down at his prone form, mouth parted.
“Gonna leave him there?” River whispered.
“I don’t train every day to have these muscles go to waste.”
River lifted a brow behind him as if he wanted to comment, but he held back.
Landon scooped Ben into his arms with a grunt.
Ben woke startled. “What, when, where?”
“Why and how,” Landon murmured. “I’m taking you to bed.”
“Must be dreaming,” Ben said, and conked out again.
River looked at Ash. “Shall we?”
They stumbled into their respective bedrooms. Ash felt the kick of alcohol. He dizzily stripped to his boxers and collapsed between starched sheets.
Too big. Too cold.
Inhibition still muted from whiskey, he rolled out of bed and padded into River’s room.
River hadn’t bothered to shut his door or his curtains, and moonlight washed the room in silvers. Ash crawled onto River’s bed.
“Ash?” River queried.
“Blame the whiskey. I can’t sleep.”
River hesitated, then opened the flap of his top blanket, shuffling to one side to give him space.
Ash slithered under the sheets.
River slung an arm around his waist and tugged him until his back was against his hot, naked body.
“How do you put yourself to sleep?” Ash asked.
“Well, I’m a very skilled vet, you see.”
“You count sheep, don’t you?”
“When that doesn’t work, I name horse breeds.”
Ash laughed, his back bumping against River’s chest. “Go on then. Put me to sleep. Er, breed me to sleep. You know what? I’ll stop talking.”
River’s chuckle wisped over his nape. “Appaloosa, Basque Mountain, Caspian . . .”
Lulled by River’s rhythmic voice, Ash drifted toward sleep, albeit a light one. The fingers resting at his navel pulsed little waves of electricity through him.
Thrills that became increasingly difficult to ignore.
He shifted onto his back, and River twisted with a light snore on his other side.
Ash gave a quick squeeze to his cock, hoping to calm it. He fell back asleep, this time deeper, but when he woke, it was to find he’d shoved his boxers off and draped himself around River’s back.
His cock pulsed.
He’d loved River’s idea that maybe his Mallory blood was stronger than Heartford’s. But the tingly need to get closer begged to differ.
Was this Heartford attraction? This unchecked rush of desire pumping through him? Making his cock weep with the need to fuck? Making him whimper as he fought not to press the tip of his cock into River’s crack and rut?
River stirred at Ash’s whimper.
“You can fuck me,” River said. His voice rumbled through him. Ignited the need flooding every part of Ash’s trembling body.
Ash gasped at the cool shift of air over his aching dick as River rolled away from him. Then River’s ass was nestled close again, and River was passing a condom over his shoulder.
“You were sleeping,” Ash whispered. “I can . . . go.”
“Don’t, I want you.”
Ash pinched the crinkling package. “I won’t hurt you?”
The cap of a bottle clicked. River slid the thin sheet to the top of his knee. Ash looked down, another wave of need pulsing through him at the sight of his erection poking into the seam of River’s warm ass.
River lifted his thigh, and the shift of his ass cheeks over the tip of Ash’s cock had Ash’s muscles burning. River fingered his hole with a sleepy hum and a cool wetness dribbled to the slit at Ash’s cock.
Ash groaned. Cursed the Heartford line.
He should hold back. Prove to himself he controlled what his body wanted.
But it wasn’t just his body, was it?
Long minutes he wrestled with himself. Tried to convince himself that sex didn’t mean he needed more. Didn’t mean his heart was involved. Didn’t mean he was obsessed.
River breathed evenly, barely hitching when Ash slid fingers over his hip and swiveled his throbbing cock deeper between River’s cheeks. He pressed his forehead against River’s wide shoulder blades, gasping softly as he rutted into the slick lube.
Oh, God.
He ripped open the condom and rolled it down his cock.
The breath of his gasps bounced between his lips and River’s smooth back. He smoothed his hand over River’s thigh, parting his ass, and slid his cock fully into his crack. The underside of his cock slipped through lube, and River cocked his hips, angling his ass. The tip of his cock caught on River’s opening, and Ash groaned as he rocked lightly against it.
He rocked a little harder. River pushed into his rocking and Ash’s cockhead popped into River’s tight heat. He lightly swore, and then he was grappling at River and sinking himself deep inside. Slick lube and River’s channel clenched the length of his aching cock, and Ash succumbed to the powerful need to fuck.
He drew out almost all the way and thrust back into that welcoming grip. What started as needy rocking turned into fast, furious fucking.
Ash urged River onto his knees.
Seated behind River, Ash bit against his shoulder as he surged once more inside him. Every thrust harder and faster than the one before it, drawing out groans as their bodies slapped together, the headboard banging against the wall in a ceaseless rhythm.
Ash felt every thrust ripple through his feet, scalp, and fingertips. His cock felt alive, as if it had never truly been used until River.
River had unleashed an arousal in him that he didn’t know was possible.
Ash increased his speed, jackrabbitting hard, fast. Deep. He wanted to sink into River. His life. His past. His future.
Ash pounded into him, chasing after it like it was something he could own. Like coming would give him the happily ever after he never allowed himself to dream of.
River groaned, the flapping of his hand over his dick quickening.
“You’re everything,” Ash said, his balls tightening.
He wanted to do this forever.
Wanted River to press his heavy cock into him and see if Ash’d like it.
The thought of River whispering softly to him as he breached his virgin ass had had him rocketing to release.
River grunted, ass gripping Ash tight. Like he too never wanted him to leave—
His orgasm ploughed through him, wave after wave.
He collapsed onto River’s back with a guiltily satisfied sigh. Kissed the nape of River’s neck, and pulled out of him. They rolled out of bed and cleaned up in the bathroom, River glancing at him in the vanity. Ash glanced back.
They shared small smiles that felt like secrets.
River hopped into the shower, and left the door open.
Ash leaned against the sink with the hoppy feeling he needed to laugh. “Is that an invitation?”
Hell, his heart was soaring and his cock was already plumping again, which River noted with a sparkle in his eye. His roving soaped hand slowed. “You sure want more of me, Ash.”
That drowned his arousal instantly. He glanced at his feet, cold on the tiled floor. “Too much.”
River took a moment to answer. Water pattered against the shower walls. “Wanting closeness and intimacy is natural. It’s an incredible feeling how we connect. How responsive we are to each other.”
Each other.
Ash looked up. River leaned his face into the spray with a relaxed smiled, then side-eyed him with a moreish glint that calmed him.
Maybe it wasn’t the Heartford blood that made him weak in the knees. Maybe he’d never been interested in anyone until River. Maybe this was what attraction was supposed to feel like?
A hopeful thought.
He strolled to the shower and smirked at River’s gleeful grin. “Thank you for the unforgettable night.”
He shut the steam-fogged glass door, and carried himself to the guest bed.