Admiring Ash (Love Letters Book 1) by Anyta Sunday (13)

River flicked the TV channel, mindlessly searching for something to fill the emptiness inside. Landon brought him a bottle of water and a plate of sliced apple. “What’s wrong?”

River unhooked the ankle at his knee and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs. He met his twin’s eye. “I get it. Wanting someone you shouldn’t. God your life sucks.”

Landon sat on the armchair perpendicular to the sleek glass coffee table. “I’ve been a fool.”

Not the answer he’d been expecting. “Go on.”

Landon flicked him the bird. “I’ve been wasting months wishing for someone I couldn’t have.”

“That’s a start.”

He shook his head. “You’re a fool too.”

River tapped his chest. “I stopped it before it got too painful.”

“Exactly.” River frowned, and Landon continued, “You’re the bigger fool.”

“Me?”

“I risked falling for Chance. It didn’t work out. I paid the price of suffering far too long. You, you’re too scared of being hurt to even try.”

Ben closed shop and drove Ash to the Riverton’s. Ash waited until Ben’s car disappeared around the corner.

He breathed in the early evening primrose-scented air, and jogged to the grand porch. The doorbell clanged, heavy and tinny like his pounding heart.

The door opened.

Ash took one look at the twin and sighed. “I was hoping River would open.”

Landon chuckled. “Oh, this is great.”

“What is?”

“River raced out of here like he was on fire to get to you.”

“Where is he now?”

A heavy, smooth voice snuck up behind him. “I was about to drive to Silver Pines.” Ash lurched around, breath hitching. “Then I saw you walking up the drive.”

Landon backed into the entrance hall as Ash and River stared at each other.

River’s gaze bored into his. His hair stuck up, and the hem of his shirt caught on the waist of his jeans. He looked sexy as hell, and Ash threw all caution to the wind.

He followed every instinct he had, snatching River by the hand and messily tangling their clammy fingers, damp from nerves. He urged River into the house, up the stairs, and without hesitation into River’s room.

River folded every step of the way, a touch of his signature amusement quirking his lips, even if a dollop of uncertainty stained his stare.

Ash’s heartrate spiked as he shoved River against the closed door, palms grinding over River’s pecs and the soft cotton between them.

River cuffed his wrists, stilling his roving hands with careful pressure. “You are everything.” He slammed his eyes shut. “Figures I’d fall in love with my best friend’s grandson.”

“Why do you sound so miserable?”

“Because I’m terrified.”

“Sounds like something we have in common.”

River opened his eyes and locked onto Ash’s. Ash felt it to his soul. “You remind me of his love. I would be the luckiest man in the world if I could keep you in my life. If friendship is what you need, I will respect that. So long as I can pick up a pen and write notes to you every day.”

Ash’s heart might combust. “More than friendship. I want all of you.”

“More than friendship?” His voice matched his looks. Deep, sexy, hopeful.

God, how it slammed Ash with desire. “Mind, heart”—he pressed himself flush against River—“and body.”

His cock hadn’t stopped hardening since the second he’d laid eyes on him. His impossibly hard shaft hurt being trapped in his jeans. “Whatever you have to give.”

River groaned. “Your smile will be the death of me.”

Ash deepened it. The room felt light and large around them, air a notch too chill against his nape. He wanted to curl into River’s warmth and stay there.

He breathed in the skin at the crook of River’s neck, lips whispering over the gentle throb of his pulse. Ash couldn’t get enough of his scent, like hay, sweat, and molasses.

River’s soft sigh whispered over Ash’s hair, melting his nervousness and shooting sparks of electricity right to his middle.

He cocked his hips and teasingly rubbed their heavy cocks together.

Ash must chase. Must show River how much he wanted him.

More than friends. More than simple fucking.

He needed to chase River with intimacy.

Physical, emotional, real.

Ash tilted his head back and swallowed River’s heated gaze. “I want to make you feel amazing.”

A gently hitched brow, daring him. “How are you planning to do that?”

Ash dropped the softest kiss on River’s bottom lip. Barely a whisper of skin sliding over skin, breath mingling for a tangled second.

Kisses meant something—he’d avoided them for a reason. Kisses spoke of feelings beyond the purely sexual, spoke of romance in its ultimate form. Kisses weren’t necessary to getting off.

Kisses were optional, and Ash wanted to tick that box. Wanted River to know that he wanted the whole package. Wanted him with tender touches too.

Ash caressed his lips over River’s, tasting apple, and giving promises.

River gasped, shivering under Ash’s palms. His hands slid from Ash’s wrists up his arms, around the curve of his shoulder, and down to his waist. He pulled back enough to look at him.

Ash reveled in the wonder sparking River’s eyes. Thrummed with the heart-racing electricity that zapped between them. His toes curled in his shoes, and the hairs on his arms and neck prickled. It wasn’t just touching River that made him quiver. It was the sweet awareness this was their first kiss.

The breath-catching understanding that they’d do this again.

And again. And again.

River clutched Ash’s waist, clutching him closer. His whole body sang, inside and out.

Ash was kissing him.

Ash was kissing him like he wanted to stay there all day, tracing their lips together. Soft presses, little nibbles.

Ash was kissing him like it meant something.

The thought surged through him, and he ached like he never had before.

From the moment River had seen Ash striding to his front door, instantly recognizing that his twin had answered the bell and not River.

The moment their gazes smacked together . . .

Ash had reached into him and grabbed his heart.

Euphoria obliterated coherent thought. River needed Ash as close as possible. He slid one hand up through Ash’s tangled hair and squeezed him nearer. He glided his tongue over the seam of Ash’s mouth, moaning when Ash parted his lips and sucked him into this mouth.

River arched off the cold door and slowed their kisses. “Amazing, Ash. You’re amazing.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

River laughed. Pressed their foreheads together. “Let me take you on a date, please?”

“Or . . .”

“First, a date.”

Ash laughed. “Can it happen right now? Can you take me to Bed Bath & Beyond?”

“You do understand the concept of a date, don’t you?”

Ash rubbed River’s chest. “Yeah. I’ve got a hot one.”

River kissed him again. “I’ll take you wherever you want.”

River took Ash to Bed Bath & Beyond.

He watched with amusement as Ash picked out sheets and bed covers.

At the counter when it came time to pay, River stepped up. “It’s customary for the guy who did the date-asking to pay.”

Ash steered his wallet away. “This is the first big item I’m buying for myself. Fresh sheets for a fresh start.” He paid, and River grabbed packs of sheets without a bag. “But you can buy at our next stop.”

“Next stop?”

“Rite Aid.”

“What do we need from—?”

Ash gave him a withering look. “Now I know why you ‘forgot’ Wyoming. You’re not as smart as you claim to be.”

The cheeky, gorgeous bastard. “I have the sneaky suspicion I’ll soon need Lester’s cane wherever I go.”

The laugh Ash gave swelled in River’s chest.

An hour later, Ash directed River to Silver Pines. They ate dinner with Danielle in the crypt. Honey ham and cheese sandwiches.

Then they found themselves around the coffee table, a couple of pens and some paper spread between them.

Ash rubbed the end of his ballpoint pen against his bottom lip in a distracting way. “There’s no shame in admitting in advance you’re the loser.” He gave a delightfully sly smirk. God, Ash was getting more confident with each passing day, and River was eating it up. “Look me in the eye and say ‘Ash, you’re the best. You beat all the rest.’ And then bow down before me.”

River grabbed a pen and clicked. “Danielle, set the egg timer.”

Danielle set it for five minutes.

River began jotting down the states of America, then paused when he noticed Ash watching him.

Ash smirked. “I like a fair game. Thought I should give you a head start.”

Danielle’s head swung between them. She pushed to her feet. “Know what? I’ve got a room to decorate. Good night, guys.” She kissed Ash on the cheek, and disappeared out of the room, leaving them alone.

Ash took his piece of paper and began writing.

When the timer dinged, they finished and exchanged lists.

River scanned the list. “That’s freakish.”

“Why? You got all fifty states this time too.”

“Not in alphabetical order.”

Ash plucked the paper from his hand and tossed it on the coffee table. “Grab our shopping.”

Purchases in hand, River followed him into Lester’s old room.

“Help me make the bed?”

“That seems counterproductive.”

They changed the sheets, anyway.

“I have a confession,” Ash said, standing at the foot of the bed and slipping a pillowcase on the last pillow. “I committed all fifty states to memory after our chat.”

River captured Ash in his arms and kissed him. “Why would you do that?”

“I felt compelled to impress you.” Ash met his eye, nakedly hopeful. Trembling for closeness.

River kissed him softly. “You did that from the start, Ash.”

Ash gripped his shoulder blades, fingernails digging into him for more. River needed more too.

He plunged his tongue inside Ash’s mouth, and licked deep. He pulled out and did it again.

His body throbbed to be as close to Ash as possible, as if Ash were the deeds to the life he’d always wanted and needed his final signature.

Tongues stroking, they kicked off their shoes. River shoveled up Ash’s T-shirt, exposing his pebbled nipples and flushed chest.

River dipped and sucked on the hardened nub as Ash helped him pull the shirt over his head. The material rolled over Ash’s hair with static.

Everything about them had that electric feeling. River popped open the top button of Ash’s jeans, biting his lip at the skate of the zipper, shivering at Ash’s relieved moan as his freed cock jutted forward and tented his boxers. The head of his cock was almost visible, clasped in a patch of pre-come.

River had to taste him. Ever since he’d first sampled him, he’d been craving more.

He loved watching the weight of the world roll off Ash as he sank into his arousal. Loved giving him reprieve from his shitty life.

A life that Ash was retuning.

River, no matter how long Ash wanted him, would be there to help him.

He sank to his knees on the soft carpet, mouthing the tip of Ash’s cock clothed in fabric. He squeezed his lips and sucked, making Ash buck forward with an indecent curse. Thumbs in the waist of Ash’s jeans, River tugged them to his ankles.

Ash’s legs shook, and River came off his cock with a naughty grin. “I love the way you watch me.” Watched as if Ash’s appetite for seeing River worship his body was insatiable.

As if he enjoyed every moment of it and imagined a thousand other ways River could touch him.

River choked on a flood of butterflies fluttering up his throat.

He wriggled Ash’s underwear off over the smooth globes of his ass.

With lightning speed, he shed his own clothes. He dragged his palms over Ash’s thighs, down the light hairs on his legs, to his ankle socks and peeled them off one by one. He didn’t want a shred of clothing between them.

Just them. One hundred percent.

Ash fell back on the bed and rested back on his elbows, gazing at him through sultry eyes. The vein on the underside of his cock bulging, the head a needy red, and glistening.

River nudged Ash’s legs further apart, loving as Ash squeezed against his outer knees.

“I’m not sure which I want more.” River’s voice came out raspy. “To sink my cock into that wondrous smile.” He gave a slow jerk of his cock, pushing the tops of his knees against Ash’s inner thighs, momentarily exposing Ash’s entrance. “Or into your beautiful ass.”

Ash shot into a sitting position, calves curving around River’s. “How about both?”

Ash grabbed River’s hips, fingers digging into the curve of his ass. A whoosh of hot breath funneled over his cock, followed by the deliciously warm suction of Ash’s mouth.

River’s pulse stuttered as he pushed his cock over Ash’s tongue and hit the back of his throat. He threaded his fingers through Ash’s hair, gripping lightly. Feeling the warmth of Ash flood through his palm. Feeling Ash lean into it for a moment.

River pulled back, cockhead popping out between Ash’s lips. He bent down and reclaimed his lips. He burst forward with soul-hungry kisses, moving them both up the bed. Teeth nicked, gasps uneven, whispers tight and imploring. Their bodies molded together, Ash’s warm and wriggling with fervor under him. Needy arches rocked their cocks together.

River stretched his arms in a knot at the base of the cold headboard. A pillow toppled, and a corner of starchy cotton flicked between their stomachs. River’s feet flexed over the bumpy weave of the top blanket. The heat of Ash’s thighs branded his hips as Ash hooked his legs around his ass.

Ash’s kisses coupled with insistent whimpers. “Closer. More.”

“How much more?”

Ash pulled off his bottom lip, dropping his head against his forest-green sheets that made his eyes dazzle. That beautiful gaze bored into his. “Everything.”

Ash trembled with need and nervousness as River knelt with a finger dollop of lube between his legs. River’s expression shifted back and forth from guttural lust to tender consideration.

Ash wasn’t sure which aroused him more. His cock throbbed for River to lose his control and push that large cock inside him. His chest seized with flutters at River’s careful approach.

Cool lube dripped into the crease of his groin, followed by the slippery pad of River’s forefinger nuzzling deep between his ass checks.

Ash parted his legs further, tilting his hips, unabashedly opening himself.

River traced lightly over his hole, eliciting a sharp moan from Ash. More lubed finger rubbed over his entrance in teasing strokes. Ash’s cock twitched, begging to be touched. Ash gave it a light pull, and a fingertip pressed into him.

God, he was on the verge of having River enter him. Having River hammer his way toward his heart.

His voice came out throaty. “I want you so badly.”

River’s slick finger pushed deep inside him and Ash bore down with a pleased groan. River massaged him with addictive strokes that quickened as he stretched him further. Stretched Ash until he was biting the pad of his thumb, head thrown back, grunting. Ash took his thumb from his mouth and circled it against the head of his cock. He jerked himself. Couldn’t help himself.

Through barely parted eyelids, he watched River roll on a condom.

Nervousness flared sharply and tangled with his arousal. “Should I turn around?”

River crawled over him, a heavy blanket of heat, and kissed him hard and messy. He pulled out of the kiss. The tip of his sheathed cock lightly prodded Ash’s clenching entrance. “Like this.”

Ash raised his head and kissed him again. He wound his arms loosely around River’s neck, and slung one leg over his hip, bucking him lightly forward against his hole. Not enough to push him in, but enough to plead.

River buried his head into the sensitive crook of Ash’s neck and lightly bit. Clasping a clapping hand on Ash’s ass-cheek, River angled him, and pushed his cock forward. The burn ripped a hiss out of him, and almost immediately, River’s hand wrapped around his cock. He jerked him light and blessedly fast as more of River’s cock stretched him.

Ash had never felt so full, so alive. So damn sexy.

Like falling from a giant ladder.

Gravity chasing him. Frightening and fantastic, the rush swept through every inch of him, and he embraced it, knowing River was there to catch him at the bottom.

River gently rocked into him, back and forth, and Ash lifted to meet him, eager for more.

Ash tweaked River’s nipples. A curse warbled pleasurably off River’s tongue. He slid out of Ash and drove forward again with more urgency. A small burst of pleasure had Ash raking his fingers up to River’s shoulders. More.

River thrust forward. Again, Ash responded.

Ash pulled River tight, legs hooking around River’s hips. Faster.

River buried himself deep, dropped for a tongue-knotting kiss, and then drilled into Ash in earnest. Filling him, robbing him of breath, jolting him with sensation that leaped through his body.

This was where he wanted to be. All night with River. Fucking their brains out like this, or wrapped up in tender kisses. Talking to the early hours or sleeping soundly, side by side.

The bitter tang of sweat met Ash’s tongue as he licked River’s collarbone.

Their skin slapped together, the air thickened with the musty scent of sex. River flexed gloriously above him, flushed with heat and a light sheen of sweat. River’s weight dipped and lifted on Ash, and River’s cock massaged his channel with every thick stroke.

Ash’s veins sizzled. His cock rubbed against River’s stomach, the friction adding to the delightful ache blazing through him.

It built and built, and Ash bucked into River’s quickened thrusts. His cock slid through River’s sweat and Ash cried out as his orgasm surged through him. River moaned as Ash clenched and embraced the tingly warmth ripping through him. Embraced River into his life.

River slammed into him three more times before a deep groan breezed over Ash’s jaw. He dropped on Ash with welcoming warmth, Ash’s slick between their bellies. A soft kiss tickled over Ash’s lips. River, still seated deep in him, cupped his cheek and gazed at him with tenderness, awe, and the tiniest trace of uncertainty. “I’m falling for you, Ash.”

“Good,” Ash said softly. “I haven’t stopped falling, either.”

They woke to the late morning, a tangle of limbs. For once, Ash didn’t feel the pressure to leap out of bed and rush to work. He melted against River with a deep, croaky sigh.

Twice more they’d fucked last night, leaving Ash blissfully sated. So sated, his heart gave a nervous flip. Could it really be real?

River pressed Ash tight, his arm warm over Ash’s lower back. Ash shifted his thigh, trapped between River’s, eliciting a gravelly yawn that combed through his hair. A kiss to his hairline followed. “Morning, love.”

Ash’s fear fizzled, replaced by a gleeful chuckle that seemed to emanate from his bones. Pure ecstasy.

River was going to send his senses into overdrive.

A nagging thought had Ash rolling on top of River and pinning the sleepy-eyed beauty with a glare. Ash tapped a finger between his pecs. “I want to read my father’s letter.”

River stilled. He looked sincerely worried, and Ash smiled, teasing his finger up and down River’s chest. “It won’t change anything. I will keep Silver Pines running. I just want to read it so it’s behind me. Come upstairs and be there with me?”

“Absolutely.”

Ash licked his trembling bottom lip, and swallowed. “Now?”

“Hold your horses,” River said, rolling off him and out of the bed with a smirk. “Breakfast first.”

Hold your horses? “Are you referencing our bizarre introduction, Impatient Buzzer?”

“I am, Vanilla Shampoo.”

“Super Smeller.”

“You mean, Sniffer.”

“No,” Ash said. “I always meant Smeller.”

River pulled him off the bed and stole all the kisses.

Ash looked up at River standing on the other side of the mailbox inside Silver Pines. Light trickled inside from the alabaster window, like all his prayers had been answered.

Chucky smooched around his ankles as River opened the mailbox and drew out the two envelopes.

He looked at Ash and handed his father’s letter over. “This belongs to you.”

Belongs.

It reminded Ash of River’s words at his and Lester’s spot on Shady Heights Hill. He rolled the envelope and slipped them in his back pocket. At River’s questioning look, Ash took River by the hand, led him out of Silver Pines and up the hill.

Sitting thigh to thigh on Lester’s bench, envelope in Ash’s lap, Ash let the electricity jumping between him and River fuel him. Birds chirped loudly. The air still and warm. Like bated breath.

“It doesn’t matter what his answer is,” Ash said. “I choose Danielle as my family. I choose Silver Pines. I choose you.”

River slid his hand atop of Ash’s, and Ash read his father’s reply.

Words blurred on the page before him.

“He never knew about me. Wants to meet me too,” Ash tripped up on his breath. “Will you meet him with me? Be by my side?”

“Always.” River leaned in and kissed him. When he pulled back, he held a small blue envelope. Lester’s letter. The last one he never read.

Ash looked at River, who smiled warmly. “I want you to read it.”

“Me?”

“Yes. The words were written for Lester, but they are meant for you.”

Ash opened the envelope, his heart pounding ten times harder than it had when he’d read his father’s letter.

The words were short, simple. Beautiful.

Ash read them again.