Eight
Kellan
When I looked up, my eyes searching for Julia, I realized she was no longer sitting at the table with Lacey and Jack. I frowned and looked around, but she was nowhere in sight. It was against my better judgement that I took a step forward. Lacey watched me with narrowed eyes until I was standing right in front of her.
“Hi, Lacey,” I said. “Jack.”
“Kellan,” Jack nodded. He glared at me openly and slid his arm protectively around Lacey.
“What do you want?” Lacey demanded. “Why the hell are you here?”
“I heard about your uncle and I wanted to…”
“To what?” Lacey snapped. “Pay your respects?”
“Something like that,” I shrugged. I could feel my face flush and I looked away for a split second. There was nothing that could turn me into a shell of my former self faster than being face to face with Julia’s fiercely protective older sister.
“Thank you,” Jack said. His jaw was tight. “We appreciate you coming.”
I nodded and asked, “Where’s Julia?”
Lacey laughed derisively and shook her head like she couldn’t believe I would dare speak Julia’s name in her presence.
“She ran out when she saw you,” Jack explained.
“Oh.”
“Are you surprised?” Lacey demanded.
“A little,” I answered honestly. “I don’t know what I expected to happen when we saw each other again, but I didn’t think she would run away from me.”
“And why not?” Lacey asked.
“Well, things didn’t end that badly,” I said quietly, speaking more to myself than to Lacey.
“Maybe not for you,” Lacey hissed. “But for Julia, it was…”
“Lace,” Jack said warningly. Lacey turned to face her husband who simply shook his head.
“What?” I asked. “For Julia, it was what?”
“Nothing,” Jack said with a tone of finality in his voice. “For Julia, it was nothing. She just doesn’t want to see you. Can you respect that?”
“Of course, I can,” I nodded. “Will you just…”
I paused, not knowing exactly what I wanted to say. A hundred different ideas ran through my mind as I stared blankly at Jack. He waited patiently, his eyes never leaving mine. I could tell he wanted nothing more than for me to turn around and leave, but he was too polite to say so.
With a sigh I started again, “Will you just tell Julia I’m sorry? For her loss I mean.”
“We will,” Jack promised. He glanced toward the door, his intention perfectly clear.
“Thanks,” I said lamely. I turned to walk away, but Lacey’s voice stopped me.
“Kellan,” she said. “I know it may have not seemed like anything to you, but what you and Julia had meant everything to her. You broke her heart.”
I felt weak as I let Lacey’s words wash over me. What did she mean by that? Didn’t she know that it meant just as much to me? Didn’t Julia know that?
I was ready to claim that girl. To make her mine forever. To have cubs with her and live our happily ever after right here in Mountain Creek.
Without a word, I left the pub and hurried across the parking lot to my car. I climbed inside and took a few deep, steadying breaths. Dammit. That was not how I pictured my reunion with Julia.
If I was being honest, I imagined we would pick things up exactly where we left them five years ago. When we broke up, it wasn’t because I wanted to leave her, but I had to. I couldn’t pass up my chance to be an Alpha. Julia of all people understood that. The night I told her, was a hard one, but I thought she knew what she meant to me.
Lacey’s words made everything suddenly seem less clear. In my mind, Julia and I parted equally broken-hearted. We were both wrecked. We were both miserable. But, we were both setting out to fulfill our dreams. I always thought, once those dreams came true, that we would…
I shook my head and my eyes flew open. There was no use fantasizing about a future that was never going to happen. If what Lacey said was true, then I couldn’t blame Julia for running out of the pub.
As I sat in my car everything began to click into place. All the letters I wrote to Julia and she never once wrote back. In the beginning, when I still tried to call, she never picked up the phone. Back then, I thought she was just taking some time. I thought she just needed a little space to heal and figure everything out herself. I wanted to give her that, so after a while, I stopped calling.
I kept writing. For years, I wrote her letters and sent them to the only address I had for her: her parents’ house.
Eventually, I gave that up too, but I still never let myself believe things were over. Surely, Julia would want to see me if and when our paths were to cross again. After everything we had, there was no way she would be able to deny our connection. I held out hope. I believed we would find each other.
Now that we had, I realized none of that was fucking true. I wondered if I held onto the thought of Julia to escape the reality of my life. Was our connection truly as strong as I believed it to be? Or, was I romanticizing something that had long been over?