Cami
AIDEN CHECKED ON me all weekend. He made sure Dee had come home and I wasn’t alone. He texted me at random moments, telling me what he was doing or relating some joke. We spoke on the phone, albeit briefly, but I still was able to hear his voice. I even called him to tell him about a funny show on TV Saturday night, and he didn’t hang up right away, instead switching it on and laughing while watching it with me for a short time. It was as if we were together in the room, and he seemed to enjoy the time we shared.
He told me he had a great day and spent time with Bentley and Maddox, but other than laughing over something about a men’s version of visiting the zoo, he refused to say anything else. He was glad I had taken the day off from my job and asked if I’d enjoyed my spa day. I was honest when I informed him his hands were definitely more soothing. His low laugh gave me goose bumps. I tried not to read too much into things, but he was the one reaching out this time. He made my weekend brighter with his unexpected actions.
Then this afternoon he texted at lunchtime.
Emmy is coming for her lesson. I think we should postpone you joining her until next week. I don’t want to push it.
I replied quickly, feeling disappointed.
I feel okay. I could take it easy.
His response made me smile.
No. You need a bit more time. I’ll make sure you catch up this weekend. Tonight, we’ll have tacos after we’re done. Maddox is going to pick up you and Dee and meet us there.
I wanted to hug myself. He wanted to see me on the weekend, and I would see him tonight. He was making sure I would be there.
I texted back.
OK
“Hi.”
I looked up at Louisa, not prepared for the sight, even though Aiden had told me she had dyed her hair. It was dark—even darker than mine was, but the purple highlights were already fading. The color made her look sallow.
“Hey.”
She sat down, pulling out a notepad. “I made you notes.”
“Aiden told me you dropped by. Thank you.”
She sniffed. “You could have called to say so.”
I ignored her snide tone. I knew she did it to cover up her insecurities. “I wanted to say thanks in person.” I reached into my bag and pulled out three new notebooks, the front covers sprinkled with images of flowers. I had found them on the weekend and thought they were pretty. I slid them across the table.
“I got you these.”
She looked shocked, then pulled them toward her. “Why?”
“Because you were nice to me. You even came to see me. I’m sorry I was sleeping.”
“It’s fine. Aiden and I had a nice chat. He is very friendly.”
I frowned, feeling confused. “He thought he made you uncomfortable.”
“Just the opposite. He made sure I was relaxed. I told him he should wake you, but he seemed fine to talk and let you sleep. He is such a charmer. Such a way with words. He admired my hair,” she added, patting the brown strands.
“You changed it.”
“You like it? I was going for a different look.”
“Different how?”
She tossed her head. “Just different for me. It was a whim.”
“I liked your hair before you changed it.” The soft color had suited her. Now it looked harsh and unnatural.
She smirked, her expression almost calculating. “Why? You don’t like it because Aiden noticed it? He made a point of trying to get my contact information, you know. I think maybe he wanted my number.” She winked at me. “He did say you were just friends.”
Suddenly, I was annoyed. I managed to bite my tongue and not inform her that Aiden had thought she was odd. I had no doubt he wanted her last name to run a check on her. Nothing more. What Aiden and I were, or were not, was none of her business. I stood, gathering my things.
“I have class. I’ll see you later.”
She caught my hand. “Don’t be mad. I was just teasing. He was nice, though.” She tapped the top of her new notebooks. “Thank you for these. It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
That caught me by surprise. “They’re just notebooks.”
She shook her head. “They’re much more.” She stood and hurried away.
I sat back down, feeling unsettled. Aiden was right.
She was odd.
Then I decided I didn’t care about Louisa.
I would see Aiden tonight.
That was all that mattered.
I drank two margaritas at dinner. Aiden had ordered a mountain of food, the table almost groaning with the vast variety of dishes. The three men seemed to be sharing private jokes, all of them relaxed. Aiden sat beside me and made sure I had food on my plate, adding extra salsa to the side without my asking. He asked me quietly about my shoulder, and I assured him it was feeling better.
“You’re limping a little.”
“My knee still aches, but it’s getting better.”
“Did you use that soft knee brace I left you?”
“Yes. It helps.”
His hand found mine under the table and squeezed. “Good.”
I didn’t know if I imagined how gradually he pulled his hand away, his fingers dragging over my palm as if reluctant to break the connection. He smiled and turned back to Maddox, asking about mismatched socks. Maddox punched him in the arm, and they laughed. Bentley shook his head, whispering something to Emmy, who laughed and kissed his cheek.
After we were done, Maddox stood. “I’m in the mood for bowling.”
Bentley groaned. “Seriously?”
Emmy grinned and high-fived Maddox. “Yes!”
Aiden looked my way, a silent question in his raised eyebrow. I felt a quiet thrill at his worry, but I squeezed his knee in agreement. I didn’t want the night to end yet.
Aiden stood, flexed his muscles and pointed to Maddox. “You’re going down, son.”
We arrived at the bowling alley, the smack talk loud and boisterous. Even Dee joined in, making Maddox laugh loudly at her antics. Everyone was relaxed and happy. Emmy and I grabbed a beer for each of us, and the games commenced. Strikes, spares, and gutter balls alike were all greeted with cheers. Emmy and I each had another beer, while the rest of them had water. The games were tied one each when Aiden lined up for his last frame, which would decide who would win or lose the night. I admired his back as he lifted the ball, his biceps flexing, and the muscles across his back tightening. His form was perfect as he stepped forward, the ball racing down the center for a perfect strike. He threw up his hands, spinning on his heels, shouting his victory. His excitement was infectious. So happy.
Plus, I’d had too much to drink.
It happened in an instant. He was celebrating, and without a thought, I was on my feet, rushing toward him. All my common sense disappeared. I wanted to be close to him, drawn in by his effervescent mood. I flung my arms around his neck, yanking his mouth to mine.
For one blissful, perfect moment, he kissed me back. Hard. Then he tensed, grabbing my arms and pushing me back, his hands holding me away from him. Our eyes met—his shocked and angry, mine pleading and apologetic. Behind us, the stunned silence from our friends was loud.
I tried in desperation to play it off. I knew I had crossed the line and broken our silent rule. No PDA—ever.
I held up my arms. “Spoils to the winner!”
He shook his head. I saw him withdraw, the warmth and ease of earlier disappearing.
“Aiden,” I whispered. “I’m—”
He brushed past me, pausing only to grab his jacket. He didn’t even stop to get his shoes, storming up the stairs. I met Emmy’s eyes, and hers filled with sympathy. Maddox and Bentley looked at the floor, their shoulders slouched. Dee held her hands to her chest, her gaze worried.
I hurried past them, rushing after Aiden. He was in the parking lot, leaning on his car, his breathing heavy.
“Why?” I asked. “It was just a kiss. You could have laughed and brushed it off, made light of the whole thing.”
He met my gaze, his eyes tormented. “It was more than that, and you know it.” He tugged on his hair, the action rough. “We’re not together, Cami. We’re not a couple.”
It was my turn to tug on my hair, his words cutting me. “I can’t keep up with you, Aiden. You act as though you care. You look after me. You’re sweet and funny. Warm. All the texts and calls this weekend? I thought things had changed. At least, a little. Then as soon as I cross some arbitrary line, respond to your actions, you shut me down.”
He stepped forward, towering over me. “There is nothing to shut down. You knew the rules, and you broke them. It’s simple. I helped you because you were hurt, nothing more. The same way I helped Emmy.”
“I mean no more to you than Emmy does? You feel nothing more?”
He sucked in a fast breath. “Aside from the physical? No. I told you that already. There isn’t anymore, Cami. There never will be.”
My heart broke. In that moment in the bowling alley, I had known. I was in love with Aiden Callaghan. Totally, utterly in love. He was everything I wanted in my life. I wanted to witness his joy and help him when the world became too much to handle. I wanted to be his everything because he had become mine.
I stared up into his eyes. They stared back, dispassionate and empty. It hit me like a freight train. It was all me. I had read more into it than there was between us.
I had started it, and now I had to end it.
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t play by your rules.”
His eye twitched and his jaw clenched, but he only lifted one shoulder, not saying anything.
“I’ll act like an adult and make sure our friends aren’t caught in the middle. Can you do the same?”
“Yes.”
I stepped back, knowing if I didn’t leave, I would break. I had lost enough tonight. I wanted to leave with a little pride intact. “Take care of yourself, Aiden.”
His voice was tight. “You too, Cami. See you around.”
I turned and walked away.
I heard our apartment door open, and Dee burst into my room. She tossed my shoes and purse on the floor.
“Dammit, Cami! I’ve been worried sick. You never came back, your phone was in your purse, and I had no idea where you were! We’ve all been looking for you.”
I knew without asking all didn’t include Aiden.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “I couldn’t come back into the bowling alley. I just couldn’t.”
She sat down on the edge of my bed. “Cami-bear,” she murmured, using my old childhood name.
I dashed away the tears on my cheeks. “I’m okay. Sorry I worried you.”
“Aiden never came back either.”
I shrugged, that news hardly a surprise.
“We thought you had gone off together to work this out, but Maddox texted him to say your jacket was with us, and Aiden told him you weren’t with him. He said he saw you get in a cab.”
“One was outside the bowling alley. I had twenty bucks and my key in my pocket from earlier.”
Her phone buzzed, and she tapped at the screen. “Okay, I’ve let Maddox know. He’ll tell Emmy and Bentley.”
She stood and crossed to my dresser, pulling out my favorite fuzzy pajamas. “You get into these. I’ll be right back.”
Too tired to fight, I did as she instructed. When she came back, she was wearing her matching set and carrying two mugs of steaming tea. “Drink.”
I sipped the liquid. “Is there liquor in here?”
“A shot of brandy. It will help you sleep.”
I tugged at the edges of my blanket. “Not sure I can.”
She sipped her tea. “Is it over?” she asked.
I met her gaze. Sympathy, warmth, and understanding met my tormented eyes. “It never began,” I whispered.
She covered my hand. “He cares. I know he cares.”
“Not enough. He told me that.”
“I’m furious with him. Everyone is.”
“No,” I pleaded. “You can’t be. He was honest. He told me there could be nothing but sex between us. I was the one who pushed. I was the one who wanted more.” I shut my eyes as the pain hit me again. “I was the one who fell in love.”
“Cami!” She gasped. “No, baby sister, no.”
I let the tears fall. “Yes. He’s been kind, helpful, and caring. We have amazing chemistry together, but that’s all it is. He doesn’t feel the same, and what I did tonight and his reaction proved it.”
“Why did you?” she asked. “Why did you kiss him in front of everyone?”
I shrugged. “I had too much to drink. He was in such a great mood, and I thought something had shifted in our relationship. I didn’t think,” I admitted. “I reacted. He was so happy, and I wanted to be part of that happiness. I wanted to be close to him.”
“Maddox told me he struggles with trust and emotion.”
“He hides his pain behind jokes. I thought I had started to see the real Aiden when he looked after me. I thought he had started to really care.”
She wiped the tears off my cheek. “Maybe that’s what scared him.”
“Maybe. But he shut down again, and I can’t keep doing this. It breaks my heart, and he isn’t going to change. He made that very clear. Whatever he’s struggling with is too big for me to fight.”
“What are you going to do? He’s Bentley’s best friend, and Emmy is yours. You’re bound to see him.”
“I know. I’m going to be the bigger person. I won’t make anyone choose. He’s really an amazing guy, and I enjoy his company. I’ll be friendly and pleasant. I won’t get too close.”
She brushed my hair back from my face, holding my cheeks in her hand. “I know you, my baby sister. I know how hard you love. How strongly you feel. Can you really do that?”
“I have to. Emmy is my best friend, and I can’t lose her.”
“I’d like to have a serious conversation with Aiden.”
I wrapped my hands around her wrists. “No. You can’t be mad at him. You have to promise me you won’t treat him any differently. He’s damaged, Dee. Something hurt him so much he can’t love anyone the way I need him to love me. But I think it hurts him too.”
“Not as much as you’re hurting. I hate to see you hurt.” She sighed. “I was worried this would happen. I knew you were going to fall in love with him.”
I smiled through my tears. My sister always knew. She had looked after me for as long as I could remember. She had worried about me, taught me how to be a better person, and always put me first. She was loving and protective. This time, though, she couldn’t protect me. I had done this to myself.
“I’ll be okay.”
“I have to go away next week, and then I’ll be gone again for the court dates. I have no idea how long this case might drag on. I don’t want to leave you like this, Cami.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl.” I scrubbed my face, wiping away the tears. “Tomorrow is a new day, right?”
She kissed my forehead, leaned against the headboard, and tugged a pillow on to her lap. She patted her knee, and I laid my head down, sighing as she stroked my hair the way she had done for many years when I needed comfort. When she began to sing, I let go, the tears soaking the pillow. I cried out my sorrow, her gentle voice a balm to my aching heart.
It lulled me into sleep, into dreams filled with warm eyes, and a voice that whispered my name.
Sunshine.