Jackson

“Isn’t that always the case?” Patrick asks and then takes a long drink of his beer.

I invited him out for a drink with me before I pick up Amelia. I need something to take the edge off and I haven’t caught up with my brother about personal stuff in a few weeks. Work has been chaotic and it isn’t even our busy season. “You truly don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. I miss Amelia so much all week, but I have to wait for the one day that she’s promised me.”

“How has she been?”

“When I was with her last week, I think I was starting to make a breakthrough. Even though it was small, it was something. And I think I got through to her about seeing a counselor.”

“It will help her to speak to someone. I was hesitant at first when Maggie left, but after I broke down and went it was the best thing I could have done for myself.” He looks me directly in the eye and nods his head.

“Let’s hope she took my advice. She seemed open to the idea, but I can’t force her to do anything. She’s stubborn.” When I think about her expression when I mentioned that she gets help, she seemed to be contemplating it.

“I’m sure it’ll work itself out,” Patrick says.

Swallowing the last sip of my beer, I say, “Thank you. I hope so. What about you? How’s Lauren and the new nanny?”

Shaking his head, he says, “Lauren is fantastic, but this nanny seems to have a stick shoved up her ass. I know she’s taking good care of Lauren, but I don’t particularly like her. Is that enough of a reason to can her?”

“Hell if I know.” I’m the least qualified person to ask any questions about children or childcare.

“It’s not like I have the time right now to deal with it.” Patrick pulls cash out of his wallet and throws a few bills on the bar.

“Doesn’t seem like it’s going to end anytime soon, does it?” My brothers and I are fortunate to have such a successful business. McLoughlin Contracting started with my grandfather and then my father and now it belongs to my brothers and me. We never lack for jobs and we keep expanding and adding more crews.

“I don’t think so. You still thinking about building a new house?” he asks.

This has been weighing on me. I’d love to build the house and when we are ready, Amelia and I could move into it. But with things the way they are with her and I, I don’t know if it’s a wise decision. “Not sure. I told Brae to hold the lot for me for the time being and he’s good with it.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

I sure as hell hope I do. Everything I’ve been feeling lately is uncharted territory. All I know is that I want Amelia. I’ve wanted her for years, but she was off-limits, my best friend’s baby sister. Now that I know what it’s like to be with her, I can’t go back to nothing. My goal is to get her back and hold on, and damn the consequences. Will is going to have to learn to live with it. “You know I will. But I better get going.” I throw some cash on the bar and stand up to go.

Patrick gets up and shakes my hand. “Good luck tonight.”

“Thanks, man. I’m going to need it.”

After I leave the bar, I get on my Harley, secure my helmet, and head to my favorite deli, Grants, to grab some food for tonight. I’ve got plans for Amelia and me. I hope she enjoys them.

This spot has the best subs in town. I order Amelia a ham and swiss on wheat and myself a roast beef and provolone. While I watch them make it, my mouth actually waters. The rolls they use are soft on the inside and crusty on the outside, the perfect combination. I pay for the subs, go to my bike to secure the food in the saddlebag, and then get back on my bike to go pick up Amelia.

When we made plans for this week, I didn’t tell her anything. She and I haven’t been on a ride since Ireland. It’s not too cold today and the sun is shining bright. She’ll be fine if she wears a warm jacket. My hope for the day is that she and I continue to get closer. It’s all I want and I hope she wants it too. Her signals have been mixed lately; it’s hard to tell from one meeting to the next if she wants to pursue anything with me or not. It seems the roles have reversed. I was the one that was wishy-washy after we got back from Ireland. What was I so damn scared of? It was commitment and of what Will would think. I was being a damn wimp when she was full steam ahead. Now I know what it was like to be all in with her and I miss being with her and there are moments now when I’m not sure I will ever have her again.

Pulling on her street, my heart rate speeds up like it used to before hockey games. Adrenaline is coursing through me as if it’s time to perform. I guess it is. Parking in front of the house next to Amelia’s, I cut the engine early. It’s not easy to hide the fact that I’m on a bike, but I want it to be a surprise. She won’t be expecting it.

Taking deep breaths, I knock on Amelia’s front door. Wonder if she’ll be wearing sweats again, like last time. If she thought her outfit would lessen my attraction for her, she’s dead wrong. Even with sweats on, hair up, and no makeup, she’s still the hottest woman I know.

“Hi, Jackson,” she says.

She squeezes the oxygen from my lungs. Today she’s in a form fitting red top with cleavage showing and black leggings. Her makeup is light and her hair cascades down her back in curls. And she’s wearing red lipstick. That shit should be illegal. She looks edible and boy would I love to take a taste of her right now. But that’s not on the agenda today. Put your damn tongue in your mouth, Jackson. “Amelia, you look beautiful.”

Amelia blinks a few times, her long lashes bat up and down, highlighting her eyes, which have an amber hue today. That’s all it takes to make me hard. My palms itch to touch her.

“Thank you,” she says. “Are you coming in?”

“No. Get a coat on and come outside.”

Her eyebrows bunch together, but I don’t give it away. I know she’s going to love it. She always enjoys going for rides. She goes back inside and I wait for her on her porch, excited like a school boy going on a first date.

It’s a red lightweight jacket and perfect to keep her cozy. “I’m ready. Where’s your car?”

“No car today.” Grabbing her hand, I lead her to my Harley.

The second her eyes see it, she lets out a little squeal. “We’re going for a ride?”

“If you want to.”

“Yes, I want to.” She skips over, grabs her helmet from the back seat, and secures it on her head like an old pro.

Selfishly, I wanted to take her out for a ride to see the smile on her face, as I don’t get to see it very often anymore. And I can’t wait to have her tiny hands around my waist. It’ll be a bonus if she lays her head on my back. I told her I wouldn’t touch her, but she’s allowed to touch me. If she holds me, maybe it’ll help bring us back to where we were, when things were easier between us. It’s what I want more than anything.

Swinging my leg up and onto the bike, I put my helmet on and shift my weight to keep the balance as she gets on behind me. When her arms wrap around me and her breasts press into me, it takes all of my restraint to keep looking forward and not turn to her, rip off her helmet, and kiss her.

Turning the ignition on, the engine roars to life. There’s no better sound. Well, there’s really no comparison to the noise Amelia makes when she comes apart underneath me, but I’ve got to get my damn head out of the gutter. Doing my best to focus on the road, we weave in and out of traffic, wind whipping past us. Charlottesville has a quaint feel with a mix of restored and renovated buildings. I never take for granted where I grew up. It’s a great area for fishing and hiking but also rich in history, along with its many wineries and craft breweries, so there’s always something to do here. When we make it to the outskirts of town, toward the rolling hills, I know just the spot I’m taking her. There’s a small pond at the end of a dirt road where teenagers come to make out. I’ve never brought anyone here, and I doubt she’ll believe me when I tell her she’s my first, but she is. This time of year, it’ll be quiet and deserted, even though the temperatures are unseasonably warm today.

When I kill the engine and take off my helmet, she looks around, confusion in her features.

“Where are we?” she asks.

Raising my brows at her, I say, “Lovers Lane.”

“Oh, I see. Where you bring all of your conquests.” She takes off her helmet and gives me a playful smirk.

“Never. You’re my first. Thought it’d be a nice spot for a little picnic.” Opening the saddlebag, I grab the subs and the small blanket I brought with us. Setting it out on a nice spot near the bank, I sit down, crossing my legs in front of me. “Have a seat. I got you your favorite sub.”

Her eyes are wide and her mouth is slack. “We’re having a picnic?”

“Yeah. You okay with that?”

“Sure.” She takes her seat next to mine and looks into the bag. “You went to Grants?”

“I said I got your favorite.”

She’s giddy. And not just about the subs. She has been since the first moment I laid eyes on her today. She’s smiled more, the sparkle is back in her eyes. She’s at ease for the first time since the miscarriage.

“Thank you. I’m starving.” She unwraps her food and takes a big bite. When she tilts her head back and moans, my dick twitches in my pants.

“If I knew the sub would make you moan like that, I would’ve bought you one weeks ago.”

Covering her face, she laughs. “It’s really good and I haven’t had one in so long.”

“You seem really good today. I like it,” I say.

She sets her sub down on the wrapper and looks up at me through her lashes. “I feel better. I had a great appointment with a counselor. I think she’s going to help me.”

Thank sweet baby Jesus. “That’s great.”

She gives me a shy little smile, picks up her ham and cheese, and takes another bite.

“It was nice talking to someone with an unbiased opinion. I could breathe easier after I left her office,” she says.

“You’re going to go back and see her again?”

“Definitely. Don’t get me wrong. You’ve been great and Dora has been doing her best to help me out as well.”

There’s no way for me to hide my distaste for her friend Dora. I’m sure she’s a good friend to Amelia, but since she stopped me from visiting Amelia in the hospital, she’s left a bad taste in my mouth.

“Why do you have that look on your face?” Amelia asks.

See, I can’t hide my emotions. “I’m sorry. It’s just Dora. Why doesn’t she like me?”

Amelia scratches her head. “Why wouldn’t she like you? She’s never even met you.”

“Yes, she has. The night of your miscarriage. I stopped by the hospital after work. You were asleep and she wouldn’t let me hang out and wait for you to wake up.” I sound like a pansy even saying this, but it’s true. Dora was acting like Amelia’s bodyguard.

“What?” Her manicured brows peak up toward her forehead. “She never mentioned that.”

That woman definitely doesn’t like me. “Oh, really? What about the flowers? I asked her to give them to you.”

Amelia’s mouth forms a perfect “O” and it’s distracting me from being pissed off at her friend. In fact, it’s making me think dirty thoughts about what I’d like to be doing with that mouth. Damn, I need to focus. I take a bite of my sub and chew on it, taking my aggression out on it.

“You brought me flowers?” Her voice breaks and her eyes and lips turn down.

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell you.” I’m pissed. What did Dora have to gain by keeping my visit a secret? This information could’ve changed things. First of all, Amelia gets gushy when I buy her flowers and second, if she knew that I had come, there’s a chance she would’ve warmed up to me sooner.

Rubbing her forehead, she looks at me completely baffled. “I don’t know. The only reason I can think of is that she thought she was doing me a favor because I asked you not to come, but after you did show up, she should’ve told me. “

“Well, I did come to see you. I wanted to be there for you from the second I heard the news. When you told me not to, I thought about respecting your wishes, but I needed to see you, wanted to hold you.” The sparkle in her eyes makes me want to go to her and put my arms around her. But there’s still a barrier between us that holds me in place.

“Oh, Jackson. I’m sorry I didn’t know about your visit and the flowers. I would’ve called and thanked you.”

“No. Don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault. Dora should’ve let me stay that night, but since she didn’t, I asked her to tell you that I stopped by and to get in touch if you needed anything. If she were a good friend to you, she would have relayed the message. None of this is your fault.”

Her shoulders relax a little. “Okay, let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay. What about your brother? Have you seen him?”

“No, I’ve been a bit of a mess. Thought it’d be best to avoid him.”

“Damn. He’s been trying to get together for a beer for a couple of weeks now and I’ve been putting him off and avoiding him. He’s going to be suspicious if I don’t call him soon.”

“You’re going to the bachelor party in Mexico, right? That’s next weekend. You won’t be able to avoid him then.” She tilts her head to the side, exposing part of the soft skin of her neck. She goes wild when I run my tongue over that spot. What I wouldn’t do to kiss her there right now.

Head in the game, Jackson. “Yeah. I’m going. I’m kind of dreading it. We’ve got a huge project going on at work and I’m not in the mood to be blitzed for three days straight. He’s going to expect that.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time. Some forced downtime by the ocean in the sun with tequila flowing.”

Shaking my head, I say, “I don’t know. I have to go, I’m the best man. I’ll make the best of it.”

Finishing the last bite of her sub, she crinkles up the wrapper and throws it at me, giggling. “I have faith in you.”

“Did you just throw this at me?” Taking the paper, I throw it right back at her. She ducks out of the way at the last second and we both laugh. Hearing the sweet sound tugs at my heart. I want to tackle her to the ground and tickle her, but I won’t break my promise. If she wants me to touch her, she’s going to have to instigate it. Staring into her hazel eyes, her smile wavers; she’s struggling with conflict.

She clears her throat and says, “Are you ready? I’d like to head back now.”

“Sure.” I stand up, grab the wrappers, and return them to the bag on my bike.

We put our helmets on and barely look at each other. Getting on the bike, I hold it steady for her to get on. This time, she puts her hands so tentatively around my waist, it’s almost as if they aren’t even there. As we ease off the dirt road, I hit the accelerator and my bike jerks forward. It gets the desired result. Her arms squeeze around me. I grin to myself. I’ll use any tools I can to get what I want.

The ride goes by entirely too quick. Pulling into her driveway, I turn off the engine and reluctantly take off my helmet. I don’t want tonight to be over. It’s gone by too fast and I haven’t seen enough of that smile. “Let me walk you to your door.”

Amelia pulls off her helmet and shakes out her long dark hair. She hands it to me and I set it down. “Thank you for the sub and the ride.”

“Thank you for coming.” It’s as if we’re reduced to pleasantries now.

We make our way to her front door. She riffles through her purse and pulls out her key, but before she puts it in the lock, she turns to me and says, “It’s early. I’ve got a bottle of wine in the kitchen. Would you like to come in for a glass?”

“That would be great.” This is exactly what the doctor ordered. This promise I made to keep my hands off is going to be tricky.

The ends of her mouth tug up into a shy grin. “Great.”

I stare at her perfect ass as she leads me through her door. How in the fuck am I going to be good tonight?