chapter eleven
What had they done?
The room was quiet and shrouded in darkness. She sat on the edge of the bed, watching his muscular chest rise and fall with each breath he took. Even in sleep, his hair was perfectly mussed, combed by her fingers, the thick waves falling over his high forehead. His full lips were slightly parted.
His beautiful face reminded her of an angel at rest. His body reminded her of a sinful, delicious banquet she wanted to feast on.
The purple sheets had fallen to his waist. Her gaze took in each defined pec, his toasty-golden skin sprinkled with dark hair, leading down his flat, hard abs and disappearing from her sight. But she already knew what lay beneath the sheets. She’d touched him. Tasted him. Bitten him. Licked him. Rediscovered every glorious inch with a greed that still surprised her.
Dear God, what had they done?
She stumbled toward the window. Nerves shredded, on the verge of a panic attack, she tugged at the sash until it opened up halfway with a pop. She leaned over and sucked in a great lungful of cool air, pressing her palms flat to the glass pane.
The terrible truth twisted and writhed inside the darkest of places inside, wailing to finally escape.
Becca.
She moaned, and the memories attacked her like vicious ghosts in a haunted house.
She’d been able to deal with all the challenges of being a single mother because she was the one responsible for Becca’s happiness, and that was her only goal in life.
But now everything had changed.
Because Tristan was in her bed, and in her life.
And the truth was finally going to come out.
She dropped her face into her hands. Maybe she could push him away. Pretend it was only about sex. Maybe it wasn’t too late to backtrack and try to get back to the way things had been between them.
Because if she couldn’t, she was going to have to tell him the truth.
It had been easier when he kept her at a distance. When he refused to talk to Becca. When he was the same cold man who’d made love to her and left without a glance back. Those reasons drove her forward, reassuring her she had made the best decision for all of them.
But now he was talking about second chances. Sending her daughter flowers. Trying to embrace the woman she’d become, not the young girl she’d been.
Sydney prayed for strength to weather what was ahead for all of them.
Tristan woke up to the scent of eggs and bacon.
He rolled over, confirming her empty space in the bed. He mourned the chance to have woken her up properly this morning, but breakfast came in a close second. If his plans held, he’d have plenty of opportunities to seduce Sydney and watch her gorgeous face in the sunlight as he brought her to climax.
Groaning, he headed to the bathroom with his morning wood and took a quick cold shower. He wrapped a towel around his hips, wondering how he was going to handle going home in a shirt with no buttons. Talk about the walk of shame. Or as his brothers would term it, the walk of fame.
“Morning.”
She whipped around. Damn, she was hot. Dressed in a faded gray Adam Levine T-shirt and tight Lycra bike shorts that cupped her glorious ass, she sported bare feet and wild, unbrushed hair. Oversize black-framed glasses perched on her nose, giving her the slightly sexy nerd look men found so intriguing.
He waited for her reaction, not knowing if he’d get shyness, distance, or panic. When she smiled at him slow and sweet, his knees almost buckled.
Oh, yeah. She still held witchlike power over him.
“Morning. Becca should be home in an hour. I made bacon omelets and wheat toast.” She filled a mug with steaming brew and handed him his coffee. “I’m sorry about the shirt. I found some safety pins. Maybe if you button your jacket, it won’t be so noticeable.”
He slid onto a stool, still clad in only a towel, and stared at the perfect plate she put in front of him. “I’m not sorry at all. But I’ll take the apology if I get a breakfast like this. I think I died and reached heaven.”
She grinned. “You don’t ask for much in the afterlife.”
“Maybe just you naked, and then I’m good.”
She sipped her coffee, regarding him above the rim of her mug. “Figured you would have had your fill last night. I think we slept a whole hour.”
“One hour too much.” He forked up a bite and moaned in happiness. “So good. Okay, I’m ready. Let’s do this.”
“Don’t you want to finish your breakfast before a morning quickie?”
“Was talking about the morning-after discussion. I’m sure you have plenty of questions and would like an in-depth analysis of what is going to happen between us now that we’ve had carnal relations.”
“Fancy words for a fancy guy.”
“I try.”
“Thanks anyway, but I’m good.”
His fork clattered to the plate. “Huh?”
She shrugged and sipped more coffee. “I’m good. No need to freak out over a night of great sex. I say we acknowledge it and move on.”
He gazed at her with suspicion. He should’ve known she’d throw him off. Sydney never did what was expected, and the moment he caught up, she was already ahead with a new curveball. “You’re accepting that we’re getting involved in a relationship?”
She blinked. “Of course we have a relationship. We work together, and I’ve known you for years. But last night was about sex. Now that we’ve satisfied ourselves we can move forward and concentrate on work. Not all that sexual tension. Don’t you agree?”
“Hell no!” He stood up and glowered. No way was she going to use last night as a check mark on her list of things accomplished. He knew it was more than just scratching an itch, and he knew she knew that, too. Was she trying to protect herself by pretending it wasn’t a big deal? “Last night blew my mind. I don’t intend to walk away from you and not do it again. And I’m not just talking about sex. I’m talking about the connection between us. I’m talking about the whole package. Get it?”
Panic flared in her bright green eyes. Ah, there it was. That made more sense than the casual speech she’d thrown at him. She could handle thinking of him as a one-night stand, but anything more pushed her buttons.
Well, tough luck. He was going full throttle here and she’d just have to learn to deal with it.
He slid out of the chair and stalked toward her. The towel dropped to the floor. Her gaze slid down his body, noting his heavy erection, and she tried to hide the raw lust on her face.
Too late.
She was just as crazed for him as he was for her.
“I thought men liked simple,” she shot at him, holding her hands in front of her to ward him off. “Why complicate things? I like my life the way it is, and I don’t intend to blow things up. I’m sure you can appreciate that. Plus, I have a daughter to think of, and she comes first. You should love this new setup.”
“I hate it.”
“But why?” Frustration nipped at her tone. “Isn’t this what you always wanted? Low maintenance and no strings? You can have it all this way!”
He grabbed her hands and pulled her in. She stumbled off balance and fell against his chest. He took the opportunity to hold her tight, his hand gripping the back of her head so she was forced to look up at him. “I don’t want it all,” he growled against her lips. “I just want you. I want a second chance at your heart. I know you’re scared shitless because of what happened in the past, but we’ve both changed and grown, and I refuse to blow this because it’s easier to pretend it’s all about sex.”
“But—”
He slammed his mouth over hers, kissing her with a fierce desperation he didn’t want to hide any longer. He kissed her until she was bent over, her fingers in his hair, her lips soft and yielding, her body pressed against him, already begging for more.
Finally he broke away. “Do you want me?” he demanded.
She shuddered. “Yes.”
He smiled and slid her hand down to his pulsing erection. “Good. But the only way you’re going to get more of this is by agreeing to one thing.” He whispered the words against her swollen lips. “You’re gonna have to take me to dinner.”
She blinked. “What?”
“You heard me. I refuse to be used and abused without getting fed properly and treated like more than a body. I’m a person.” He grabbed his shirt, which she’d draped on a hanger, and put it on. Retrieved his pants, buckled his belt, and stepped into his shoes. “Oh, and I want Becca to join us, too. She’s part of you, and it’s a package deal. It’s time we date, sweetheart. I won’t take no for an answer.” He shrugged into his jacket, tucked his tie in his pocket, and grinned. “Thanks for breakfast. I’ll call you later.”
She was still staring at him in shock when he shut the door behind him.
He headed to his car, determined to show her it was possible to have a second chance. He’d finally changed the rules of the game so they could both win. But he needed to talk it over with someone he trusted so he didn’t make any mistakes in pursuing Syd.
There were two people he trusted more than anybody else.
His brothers.
When he arrived home, they were drinking their coffee on the porch. He grinned and walked up the stairs. “Oh, good. I wanted to talk to you both.”
They took one look at him and shared a meaningful glance at the large safety pin hanging from the center of his shirt where the jacket gaped open.
“Walk of fame, bro,” Dalton said. “Damn, your buttons got ripped off? That’s one serious night. Probably not a lot of talking going on, then, huh?”
Tristan shook his head and grabbed his brother’s coffee. At least he also took it black. “Real clever. Hey, I thought you were both heading to the new house today. Is it almost ready?”
Cal nodded. “We’re closing in a few days. It’s official. Dalton finished up the table last night, so we’re indulging in a lazy morning. Raven and Morgan are in the kitchen, but I wouldn’t go in there, ’cause they’re talking about the wedding. Who’re you banging?”
He shifted his feet. Great. He wanted to talk seriously, and they wanted the sex details. “Dating,” he corrected. “Not banging.”
“Sure. Did she pull those buttons off with her teeth? I always wondered if that could actually be done,” Dalton said.
“It can,” Cal offered.
Tristan held back a groan. Sometimes they were so damn juvenile. But this was bigger than the usual sibling banter, and he needed his brothers to help him navigate brand-new territory. For so long, he’d been alone, not trusting either of his brothers. Now he had his family back, and he wasn’t ashamed to ask for help. “I need some advice,” he said quietly.
Immediately their faces grew serious. Cal nodded. “We’re listening.”
“It’s Sydney. I’m dating Sydney.”
Cal choked on his coffee. Dalton just whistled.
“Whoa. Been waiting for that announcement, but I gotta say, I wasn’t prepared. You two have been ignoring each other for so long, I got used to it,” Dalton said.
“You’re banging Sydney!” Cal shouted.
“Dating, asshole, not banging!”
“Same thing! Are you ready for this? She is not someone you just pick up and leave on a whim. She’s got a kid. Do you really know what you’re getting into?”
He fumed. As the oldest, Cal always liked to boss them around, and age hadn’t softened his ways. “Yes. Not that it’s your business. I just wanted you both to know I’m trying to pursue this on an honorable level.”
Dalton spurted out a laugh. “Umm, I have a feeling last night had nothing to do with honor. Your shirt looks like you were on a strip-club stage.”
Tristan glowered. “Forget it. I’m done. I’ll figure it out myself. I don’t need your approval, I just figured you should know.” He turned to stomp off, but Cal called out his name, forcing him to stop.
His brother blew out a breath. “All right, calm down. You just caught me by surprise. I know the two of you share a history. Sit down for a minute.”
Tristan regarded them both, then plunked himself on the wicker chair. “Anything is better than dealing with wedding talk,” he muttered. Dalton snatched his coffee back. “This is a fucking big deal to me, too, you know. I don’t need any more crap from you boneheads.”
Dalton patted him on the back. “You are real touchy, bro. We’re here for you. Just tell us the whole story. We all knew you were sleeping together, but when Mom died, things got a bit out of control.”
Tristan stretched his feet out, remembering that vulnerable time when they all scrambled to piece their lives back together. “It was tough,” he admitted. He’d kept the secret from his brothers so long, his voice came out a bit rusty. “I was so pissed at both of you, I never shared what was really going on between me and Syd. Telling you we were having an affair was bad enough.”
“Yeah, we all lost our way back then. But now is a good time to tell us everything,” Cal said. He motioned over to Dalton, who grumbled but gave up his coffee mug for the greater good of gossip. Tristan nodded his thanks and took a sip.
“We began sleeping together and kept it quiet over the summer. You two were away most of the time, so it was easier. But then we were still together, so we figured you’d find out eventually. Sydney insisted we tell you together.”
Dalton snorted. “I remember that scene. I gave you a black eye.”
“That was me,” Cal said. “Tris gave you a broken nose.”
Dalton glared. “Did not.”
“Can we get back to the subject?” Tris interrupted. “You agreed not to tell Dad, and that was my main concern. I knew he’d use it as some sick leverage against me, or completely lose his shit.”
“Smart,” Cal commented. “Did Mom know?”
Tristan’s face softened. “I think so. She loved Syd like a daughter, but she never confronted me about our relationship. Once, when we were in the kitchen, she told me not to break Sydney’s heart. That’s all she said—just dropped that bomb on me and walked away. I think she figured we’d work it out on our own, and then she was gone, and things blew up.”
They all pondered that dark time in quiet. Tristan was still grateful their relationship had healed and they were now a real family. He had no idea how truly lonely he’d been in New York until he came back to Harrington and claimed his place again.
“I fell apart. I couldn’t deal with my feelings for Sydney because I was so enraged at Dad, and all I wanted to do was get out of Harrington. I began pulling away from her, and we ended up fighting a lot. All I could think about was getting out on my own to see what I could accomplish.”
Dalton nodded. “That’s how I felt when I fled to California. I needed that break.”
“Sydney didn’t want to go. I asked her, but her grandmother was in the hospital, and she wanted to stay. The thing is, I realized besides the constant fighting and age difference, she was happy in Harrington. She liked her job and her life. I was the one who craved a new start. Eventually things got so crappy, I left without her.”
“Makes sense,” Cal said. “I wonder if that’s why she got married so fast after you two broke up.”
The scar still throbbed, but Tristan understood so much more now. “I actually came back to town right before her wedding,” he admitted. “I tried to stop her. Asked her to come to New York with me again.”
“What happened?” Dalton asked.
“She said no. Said I’d never told her I loved her or offered her anything to fight for. She was right, even though I didn’t want to believe that for a long time. We both screwed up, but I want a second chance. We’ve changed. Looking back, I doubt it would’ve worked between us during that time. She’s still the woman I want, and I’m tired of fighting it. I just have to convince her to trust me and take the leap.”
Dalton grinned and motioned to his ripped shirt. “Seems like you got a great head start.”
“Coming from the man whore of the century,” Tristan said, rolling his eyes.
“Hey, not anymore. Raven has made me a changed man, but it was a long road. I had to learn to forgive both of us for the past, and sometimes that screws you up. But I always felt like you and Sydney belonged to each other.”
Cal nodded. “Agreed. You both going to be able to work together so closely while building a personal relationship? Want me or Dalton or Morgan to step in and help?”
“No, I think it will be a good thing for us. Force her to deal with me on a daily basis without running.”
“You really are serious about her,” Cal said thoughtfully. “Just a few weeks ago, you were against promoting her to CFO. Now you want to embark on a relationship. What happened to make you change?”
Tristan tried to express his emotions without getting too touchy-feely and embarrassing all of them. “I kept her at a distance because I was afraid. She made me feel things I wasn’t comfortable with. I hated thinking about how things ended with us, but in the past weeks, I’ve felt different when I’m around her. It’s hard to explain. When I watched her negotiate with Cushman, and the way she’d been handling her CFO position, I respected the hell out of her. And seeing her take care of Becca reminds me so much of Mom. She’s grown into herself, and I fall deeper every day. It’s almost as if all roads in my life were leading to her.” He buried his face in his coffee, ready for them to tear him apart for his poetry.
Instead, they both shared a sigh. “Yep, you got it bad,” Dalton declared. “Raven drove me to highs and lows I’d never experienced. But I can’t imagine a day without her. She makes me whole.”
“Morgan was such a pain in the ass,” Cal said fondly. “She wrecked me. But it was fucking awesome, and I never want to be my old self again.”
Tristan swallowed a lump of emotion, then cleared his throat. “Thanks, guys. I needed to hear that.”
“We’ll back you up, bro,” Dalton said. “Just don’t get impatient. Sometimes women need lots of time to settle things in their minds before their hearts catch up.”
Tristan stared at his brother. He’d always been the closet poet in the group. “That was really sweet.”
“Thanks. Now give me my fucking coffee. I have to get a refill now, and I’ll be forced to answer some wedding questions that scare the hell out of me.”
Tristan and Cal laughed as Dalton snatched his mug back and the door clattered behind him.
His brothers were right. He’d court her slow and steady, in the old-fashioned way. But he wasn’t backing off with the sex. It was the best way to remind her they were meant to be together, so he’d grab every opportunity to bond her to him, until she stopped being spooked and realized the same truth he did.
They were meant to have a second chance.