Putting your key in the door is much more difficult after tequila, Val thought to herself as she stumbled into her apartment, closing the door behind her. Val dropped her keys on the little blue table next to her door. She bent down and took off the wobbly heels she had been tottering in all evening.

Thank God for cabs you can summon with your phone, she thought. After all those drinks, I am lucky I gave them the right address. She smiled to herself. Her girls were the best friends she could have ever wished for. Throwing her a surprise birthday night out was their idea.

Val typically hated going out and “clubbing,” but she trusted her friends to know what she liked. Sure enough, it was a great night. It started with a delicious dinner of Spanish tapas, along with several glasses of sangria that went down very easily, and followed with a stop at a comedy club where Val was able to let loose and laugh along with the rest of the patrons. The margaritas she consumed there helped her relax.

Then the gaggle of girls ended up at a little bar with a stage where a cover band played 90s songs, and they all sang along. The bartender got a kick out of her birthday celebration and kept them supplied with cosmos and martinis while they pretended to be rock stars. Her friends reminisced about the crazy things they had known her to do. That time in high school Val shaved her head. When she showed up at a donut shop in the middle of the night dressed in bedsheets from a college toga party. Her sides hurt from all the laughing.

Val was going to regret all the libations in the morning, but for now, she was grateful for her friends who didn’t let her birthday go by without a proper celebration, one that fit her personality to a T.

She stumbled down the tiny hall in her apartment to her bedroom, stopping for a cursory teeth brushing along the way. She dragged a brush through her dark blond hair, detangling it. She tried to drink a glass of water to stave off a bit of the coming hangover but only made it halfway through. She flopped onto the bed in her going-out clothes and fell straight asleep.

Hours later, she woke with a start, searching around for clues as to where she was. The window was the same, the trees outside the same, the ancient clock by her bed the same. The difference was that her head was pounding and her mouth felt like she sucked on sand all night.

She closed her eyes again and calmed her breathing. Valentina Sorenti woke up confused more often than she would have liked. Plagued by vivid and odd dreams since she was a child, this was nothing new, yet she never seemed to be able to stop waking so startled.

She got up from bed, feeling like coffee and a shower would be the answer to all her problems—along with a couple Advil to ease her hangover. She tried to shake out the strange feeling the dream left in her limbs but thought better of it when her stomach gurgled in response and a sharp pain stabbed the back of her left eye. Instead, Val headed for the bathroom and the welcoming spray of warm water to begin her day.

Driving to work in her trusty SUV, with her favorite coffee by her side, she flipped through the radio stations like the impatient listener she was. Once she found a song she liked, she drifted off into her thoughts. As much fun as she had last night, was going out with her friends going to be the high point of her life? Val wondered what her years ahead would look like, imagining brunches with the ladies, stacks of books on her shelf, and maybe a cute dog to keep her company. She remembered how she used to be: a little wild and crazy and impulsive. Like the time she got a tattoo to celebrate her 21^st birthday, just because everyone else thought it was a bad idea. To this day, she adored the little bear inked on her hip, and she loved the memory of her spontaneity.

She grimaced at the thought. While her current life was far from bad, it didn’t seem like enough. Where was did her wild side go? Would she still be getting drunk on fruity drinks at 40? 50? 65? And if that vision of her future weren’t enough to satisfy her, what would be?

Val was always a little surprised when these feelings of dissatisfaction bubbled up. She had a nice thing going: good job, great friends, close family. She volunteered in the community, and heck, she even had some money in the bank and a handful of fun hobbies to spend it on. Heck, she even volunteered in the community. On paper, this would look like the perfect life.

Yet something else called to her. Was it a partner? She had several casual relationships in the past and a couple of serious boyfriends, but none seemed to be the “one”. The modern woman in her rejected the idea that she needed a boyfriend to complete her.

Shaking off these questions, Val walked into her office. Anderson Engineering was located in a quiet office building in Alexandria. Not the hip and cool Old Town part of Alexandria, but rather, the more practical, office park-style Alexandria where you could have an Alexandria address but pay less than what the trendy townhouses of Old Town cost. Her old-school boss John Davies was too practical to pay high rent just to be in the hip part of town. If he could save money, he would. As a trade-off, the office had lots of space and big windows, and everyone who worked at Anderson got an office. That was saying something, Val thought, in this day and age of cubicle life.

Val carried her coffee into her office, put down her bag, and sat at her desk. She loved this office. It had a door to close out any distractions and great big windows. Her view, a parking lot and an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant, left something to be desired, but it was a big step up from the cubicle she left at her last position. At Anderson Engineering, she was the Marketing Manager. She had a fairly good grasp on what the engineering part of the business was, but her job was focused on getting the company’s name out into the world and bringing in new business. This led to all sorts of good-natured disagreements with her boss John, as he was pretty old-school in his understanding of advertising. Val had been trying to explain to John that things were different in this age of internet and social media. Putting an ad in the phone book was not enough anymore.

Val started up her computer and got settled in for the morning. Another day of finding new ways to sing the praises of Anderson Engineering. Before she could think about her second cup of coffee, her co-worker Steve popped his head in her door.

“Hey there, Val. What’s up? How was your weekend?” Steve asked.

“Pretty good,” said Val. “Watched a movie, read a new book, and went out with the girls for my birthday. What about you? Any new dating stories to tell?” Val leaned forward and raised her brows curiously.

“That’s right. I totally forgot. Happy birthday,” Steve said with a tilt of his head before pausing as if for dramatic effect. “And, to answer your question, I did have another date with Jackie. Well, I wouldn’t call it a date. We’re just having fun,” he said with a smile and wink. “I’m liking this world of dating. After the kids left for college and I returned to living the single-guy life, I didn’t think I would like going through the rituals again, but it’s quite fun. Meeting new people, trying new restaurants. I’m even thinking about joining one of those dating sites online if it doesn’t work out with Jackie.”

“That’s great. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. You think you’d ever get married again?” Val asked.

“Me? No way. After doing that twice, I wouldn’t want to be tied down again. I’ve got my house set up how I like it, I get to watch whatever I want on TV, and I get to eat whatever I feel like. I enjoy being a bachelor too much to get married again. Besides, Jackie isn’t interested in that. She’s 50 and has never been married.”

“She’s 50 and has never been married? That seems odd. You better watch out, Steve. There might be something going on there,” said Val.

“Oh, please. This coming from someone in their thirties that has never been married either. Why haven’t you settled down?” Steve countered.

“You know me, I’m perfectly fine conquering the world on my own and hanging out with the girls. Maybe a fun relationship when I want one but no strings attached.”

“Right. I have a feeling you’ll sprint to the altar when the right guy shows up,” said Steve.

“You’ll be the first person I invite when that happens. You can ride in on a unicorn since that’s how likely it will be.” Val chuckled, and Steve returned a smile and shake of his head before leaving her office.

That was one thing Val loved about her job. The people were great. She got along with all of her coworkers in the small office of 10 people, including her boss, if you could call a mutual understanding getting along. Though, despite the camaraderie, she sometimes wished that the work was more interesting.

Val found herself daydreaming as she gazed at the world map hanging on her wall. She thought back to the musings she had earlier during her commute. Maybe the thing missing from her life was more adventure. Travel, new experiences, new people. She used to be more inclined to seek that lifestyle out.

In high school, Val went to a meeting of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and became instantly hooked. She became a vegetarian, started handing out pamphlets to her friends, and became involved in animal rights activism.

When was the last time I felt that passionately about something? She asked herself. The most exciting things that have passed my way these days are books. I’ve got more routine than recklessness in my life. Do I need to go out and find myself a bachelor to have fun with like Steve has? Or try online dating? Val shuddered at that last thought.

Though later, while standing in line at her favorite lunch spot, TacoCity, Val wondered about another comment Steve had made. Would she race down the aisle if she found the right guy? She had always considered herself a solitary individual. She wanted different things than the other women around her. The husband, dog, babies, and house with white picket fence thing never appealed to her. Ever since she realized in high school that she wanted different things in life than her friends, she assumed she would probably end up alone. Not that that was a bad thing. She’d just rather choose her interests and live her life for herself, instead of changing to accommodate someone else.

I’m not looking for a guy to fulfill me, Val thought. But I do need to shake things up a bit. Maybe dating isn’t such a bad idea. I could meet someone to travel and try new things with. A partner in crime, so to speak.

After her order was up, Val took her tacos and sat at a counter by the window. She loved watching people walk by on the street, wondering what adventures each person had tackled in their life. She considered a clean-cut older man in a suit. He was probably military, working a desk job nearby and putting off retirement. During his battle days, he jumped out of airplanes into remote mountains to fight for the villagers under siege by local militias. After a bad jump that resulted in two broken legs, he transferred to a desk job and discovered a talent for administration. Now, he spends his days helping other soldiers complete their missions, while missing the heat of the desert he once loathed.

Val turned her head and spotted another passerby: a harried mom with a giant double stroller. Perhaps she is a stay-at-home mom who envies the working class and is tired of wiping snot and spooning out food. Before she had kids, she trained as a ballerina and even tried out for the big dance troupes. While she never made it big, she did meet the love of her life. She loves her family, but she can’t help but think longingly of the feeling of dancing on stage. She can still feel the movements in her bones.

Val

shook her head and focused on her tacos. What was her preoccupation with other people’s lives? Was she trying to live vicariously through them? Imagine some better way of living her own life? Val thought of someone she knew who lived an exciting life, Brianna. Her bestie was always meeting new people and trying new things. She pushed aside a pang of jealousy and, instead, texted her friend, hoping to arrange a drink or dinner date for that evening.

Drinks tonite? A little hair of the dog that bit us?

Sure. That was a great birthday! How about 7? Our usual place?

7 is good. O’Brian’s it is.

See you there!

Val looked at her phone and was hit with an undeniable feeling of disappointment. Why did she always do that? She talked a big game about wanting adventure, travel, and a departure from the ordinary, yet every time she got drinks or dinner with Brianna, it was always at one of the same few places. Val had a routine for almost everything in her life. She started her morning the same: same coffee place, same drive to work, even the same parking spot at the office. Then, without fail, she ended up at either her favorite taco joint or with a sandwich at her desk. Now, she could no longer deny that even drinks out with Bri had become a routine.

She sighed. How could she have moved so far away from what she said she wanted? Val pushed the thought aside and tabled it for discussion later with her bestie. Bri had a way of getting her to see things rationally, in a way that made her feel like a normal person and not some crazy lady aiming for the moon. She hoped Bri would once again be able to come through and put her mind at ease.

After completing a few final reports and a new business proposal, Val headed home. While driving the familiar route, she questioned why she lived in the suburbs of Alexandria. She was young and single, so why did she choose an apartment closer to good schools than happening clubs? Bri’s apartment was in Arlington, within walking distance of bars and restaurants, making it easy for Bri to get home after her legendary dates.

Val shook her head, wondering why she was struggling today to rid herself of this nagging inner voice insistent on convincing her of her dissatisfaction. Did she secretly wish she lived downtown? Maybe, but she couldn’t deny that some part of her did want quiet. She wanted trees. She wanted peace. So, how could she balance her desire for serenity with her longing for adventure? Could she have both or would she have to choose?

Once home, Val went straight to her closet and started pulling on her trusty running shorts and favorite running shirt: a super soft t-shirt layered over a white cotton sports bra and black spandex shorts. Nothing fancy or technical for her runs. After throwing on her hot pink running shoes, she was ready to head back out.

Val left the apartment and crossed the parking lot, heading toward the nature path behind her building. She started her slow jog, not needing the noise of music or an audiobook to aid her as she set a steady pace. She enjoyed listening to the sounds of nature, saying hello to other joggers, and using the time to think. Mostly, she thought about her life. Was it going the way she wanted in all the areas that mattered?

Work was good. She was leading a number of successful projects, and she loved her co-workers. Was her work changing the world? No. But John was happy with her performance and the pay was enough to live without a roommate, afford all the books she wanted, and have enough left over to build a decent savings.

She had an amazing group of family and friends. She and her mom were close, talking on the phone at least once a week, and she was on good terms with her brother. The whole family vacationed together at the beach once a year, and she always looked forward to those trips.

And, of course, she couldn’t live without her girls. Bri was her closest friend: her ally, her pep talker. They have known each other since high school. Her other friends were fun too: Sarah, Jen, Jenna, and Kelly. The six of them had come together as a close group. Other friends and acquaintances drifted in and out, but those six stayed. Her birthday was the perfect example of their friendship in action. Each may have known Val at a different part of her life—some from high school, one from college, and a couple from her working days—but they all meshed together. Val loved her girl squad.

Her love life, on the other hand, was an area that could use improvement. She had been in a couple long-term relationships since college. Her most recent boyfriend was Jared. He was a solid guy, but Jared wasn’t known for having an adventurous spirit. She did know she could always rely on him, and he brought a sense of peace and calm to her life. She loved that he lived by his own rules and didn’t pay much attention to trends or what the crowd was doing, but sometimes he played it a little too safe for Val’s tastes.

When she started thinking about going to Paris, Jared wondered why they couldn’t head to New York City instead. Why did they have to fly farther and spend more money when there were so many places in the US to explore? But she wasn’t drawn to the US. Val wanted to see the wider world, experience different cultures, and hear new languages. Jared couldn’t understand that she was pulled to go farther. The whole world was out there and she wanted to be a part of it.

Eventually, they drifted apart. Last she heard, he was dating a nice girl who wanted to get married and have his babies. Oh well. I hope he is happy, she thought.

Val wondered what the next level would be in her own life. In high school, the goal was always college, so Val kept up her grades and immersed herself in extracurriculars. Once she was in college, her goal was to find a major she enjoyed and graduate.

After bouncing around to a few jobs at the beginning of her career, Val settled into communications and marketing. She loved writing but also liked the human aspect of business. What makes people want to buy a product? How do companies connect to customers in new ways? For the most part, she had been happy with her career choice.

She didn’t feel the burning desire to get married and have kids like Bri. So what else was there? Work for another 35 years and then retire? Her mother had worked at a job she loved her whole life and spent her free time volunteering in the community and supporting her church. Nan’s life was full of joy. She loved people, especially children, and people were naturally drawn to her. Val wished some of that had rubbed off on her.

She brought her attention back to the trail in front of her, her feet pounding out a steady rhythm. She ran because it helped clear her head and reduce stress. She didn’t love it enough to run marathons. An occasional 5K was fun, but she wasn’t a die-hard runner. She volunteered with the local food pantry and sometimes ran in sponsored races to support them. Collecting food and helping hand it out to the less fortunate kept her connected to the community. Her mom encouraged her to volunteer growing up, and she was happy to follow her lead.

Val looked at her phone, three miles down already. She had run her usual route and was almost back to her apartment parking lot. Another area of her life on autopilot. When would she be able to break out of these ruts?