I was practically sleepwalking at work.

Between my job, practice, and shows, I was booked solid. And not in that cutesy way how girls wore shirts with books on them that said something like My weekend is all booked. No, I was so busy I could barely think straight.

I practiced for at least a couple of hours every day on my own. Three or four times a week I played with The Band at Matt’s house. I still hated that name, but hadn’t been brave enough to mention it to anyone. Not even Matt. I worried no one would take a band with a stolen name seriously. At least not beyond River Valley. But then I would remind myself that it didn’t matter. I was only a stand-in until Cooper’s arm was better.

Work was my one place where I felt like I could have some peace. That is, when my song wasn’t haunting me. The tune had become more solid in my mind, although I still didn’t have any lyrics. Still sad, still nothing to inspire the words that would do it justice.

Tap, tap, tap.

“Rainier, you okay?” Jenny asked, breaking my concentration.

“What? Oh…yes. Just tired.”

“You look a mess. Do you want me to stay and you can leave when Michelle gets here?”

I laughed. “I must look like a corpse for you to offer.”

“She’s actually not that bad.”

“Okay, now I’m wondering if I’m hallucinating. Or I died from exhaustion, and I’m in some strange kind of purgatory, because I swear it sounded like you just said Michelle wasn’t so bad.”

Jenny didn’t respond. Instead, she bit her lip and looked at the wall. She refused to make eye contact.

“Jenny. The girl tortured you in high school. At least that’s what you’ve always said. Please tell me she didn’t secretly lobotomize you during your shift together.”

She shrugged. “She was a hard worker and shelved an entire cart of books before learning the register.”

“You didn’t lobotomize her, did you?” I cried, throwing my hands up in the air while Jenny giggled at the theatrics.

“I swear I didn’t cut into her brain. She just did what I asked her to.”

“That’s impossible. She’s impossible.”

“Who’s impossible?” a voice asked from behind me. Jenny’s laughter stopped immediately as I turned around to see Michelle standing behind me. Her skin wasn’t red anymore, and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that made her look like she was still in high school. She looked innocent if such a thing was possible.

When neither Jenny or I responded to her question, Michelle’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Okay. I’m just going to put my stuff away, and then I’ll get to work.”

She walked to the back of the store to the employee area. It was a small room where we received deliveries and stored books until we could get them out to the shelves. Apparently, she got the memo that she should put her bag back there instead of leaving it out here on the counter.

“Look at the little worker bee,” Jenny said once Michelle was out of earshot.

“This proves nothing,” I answered, as she signed her time card.

“Maybe not. Just try not to kill each other, okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” I said, as she left.

When Michelle walked back out to the front, I got out of my chair and stood several feet away from it. I wanted her to know I was okay with our prior arrangement. I would work while she stared at gossip magazines and whatever was on her phone for several hours on end. I held my breath waiting for her reaction, not sure why I cared.

Jenny was convinced Michelle had become a new person with one decent shift together.

I touched my fingers against my thigh pretending to look down at a book while I watched her out of the corner of my eye. I watched as she got closer, and I watched as she sat down in the seat and grabbed one of the same magazines she had read the last time we worked together.

I knew she hadn’t changed. Nobody did. Not that quickly.

“So…” she mused, “it’s hot outside today. Don’t you think?”

She wanted to talk about the weather? “I guess so. I haven’t really been outside.”

“The plants look like they’re going to die,” she said, still flipping pages and keeping her eyes trained on the magazine.

“Okay?”

She sighed. “Too bad it isn’t rainier out.”

There it was. I couldn’t imagine any scenario where Michelle cared about the condition of trees and bushes in this area. She was laughing at her joke.

“Amused?” I asked.

“Oh, come on. Don’t rain on my parade.”

“Did you stay up all night coming up with that?”

“What can I say? When it rains, it pours.”

They were all jokes I’d heard before. Sometimes lighthearted, other times cruel. Things like that didn’t really bother me anymore. But for some reason, when Michelle said it, I wanted to gouge my eyes out. With her stupid smile, and the way she sat in my chair like she didn’t have a care in the world.

“That’s really funny, Michelle. So clever.” My voice lacked emotion.

The laughter stopped, and she looked up from the magazine and directly at my eyes. I expected to see a mask of indifference, but there were too many emotions in her expression to nail it down to one.

“My dad gave me a regular schedule today. We’re going to be working together a lot, and I thought I’d give civility another shot. Who knew the girl I was a jerk to in high school could be more forgiving than some homeschooled nerd who didn’t know me?”

She shut the magazine and grabbed a couple of books off the cart and disappeared.

Tap, tap, tap.

The band had another show tonight, and I couldn’t focus on Michelle and her little temper tantrum. I stayed up near the counter while she was off doing whatever it was she was doing.

I'd told myself I wouldn’t practice in front of the mirror, but I couldn’t get Owen’s remarks out of my head. He’d made a point to tell me every time he saw me how I needed to loosen up.

I hadn’t shown off my moves in practice because I didn’t want his ever watchful eyes on me when I first attempted it in front of people. With any luck, he'd be too busy making love to the microphone to notice the awkward kid behind him playing the guitar.

And if I were really fortunate, everyone else would be too busy watching him and the other guys to pay any attention to me. I was still the guy that most people only knew in passing.

I needed to find the best way to blend in because I really enjoyed playing shows. It wasn’t something I wanted to do long term. I’d be going back to school in the fall. That didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy it while it lasted and make every effort not to get kicked out for lack of charisma.

Mrs. Bristol came in and bought her weekly stack of romance books. Mercifully, I didn't see Michelle anywhere as I checked her out. I wasn’t going to start picking up historical romance, but that didn’t mean I wanted her to be embarrassed every time she came in.

I organized nearby shelves and helped customers during my shift. When I finished that, I decided I should put away books that were waiting to go out.

The books on the cart to be put away didn’t magically disappear or anything, but I did notice it was getting slightly smaller even when I wasn’t working away at it. Michelle must have been doing something. I wasn’t sure what to think about that. I knew she was an entitled brat. I knew she didn’t want to be here. What I couldn’t figure out what her angle was.

Why pretend to make an effort? Why try to impress Jenny?

The end of the shift went pretty much like it had the previous time I’d worked with her. I didn’t see her while I counted down the safe, I didn’t ask for her help with anything. Yet somehow she knew when to reappear from whatever lair she was hiding in when it was time to sign out.

“See you in a couple of days,” Michelle said, with a smile that looked like it physically pained her to make. It was a weird mix of cruelty and embarrassment.

“Yep.” I grabbed my stuff, barely paying attention.

“For what it’s worth–”

“It doesn’t matter.” I interrupted. Whatever she had to say, I didn’t care. I needed to get to Wild Bill’s pronto. “Let’s just get out of here.”

“Fine,” she said, before we walked out of the store, pulled down the gate that closed it off from the rest of the mall, and walked out of the building to our cars.