I felt broken. There was no other description that I could give that explained how I felt. I’d admit that maybe I read too much into us. Maybe all the signs were there, but I was just too dumb and naïve to see them. I’d only known Alpha for a few months, maybe Dr. Strong was right and I was trying to make him human when he clearly wasn’t. It didn’t matter, I now knew the truth. I meant nothing to him. Just like I meant nothing to my husband. I thought that Trevor was the problem, and admittedly he was, but what if I was partly to blame. Maybe I was unlovable. My broken pieces were unappealing and too much trouble for those around me. I’d lost a little weight while here, but I would still be considered fat. My brown skin wasn’t as beautiful and exotic as Monroe’s or Mother’s. Then add to all of that my embarrassing speech problem. How could I even think that someone like Alpha would fall for me?
Although I felt like falling apart, I kept it together. I had come to the realization that I was alone here and that I may even die in this hellhole, but I started this task for Ashley. If I could make things a little better for her then that’s what I was going to do.
Alpha would be no help for saving Ashley, but I knew that Beta could still help me. At least I could ask him to help me.
When the door to the breeding room opened, and a naked Beta walked inside, I gave him only a second to catch sight of me. His eyes widened and then narrowed before I rushed to him with a kiss.
Beta didn’t kiss me back. In fact, his arms were spread out wide as if he’s showing the cameras that he wasn’t even touching me. I pulled away from the kiss.
“I need you to pretend with me.” His eyes narrowed and I went back to placing my lips to his.
We both pulled away when we heard the roar from the other room.
Alpha knows.
My heart started racing in my chest. The pain in the sound of that roar had me wanting to rethink my actions. Even now I didn’t want to hurt him. I wasn’t doing this as some type of revenge to get back at Alpha. No, I couldn’t fault him for how I felt. He never once told me that he loved me or that he was going to be faithful to me, it was all me placing feelings on someone I barely knew.
I had to stay focused. I went to grab Beta again, but he dodged my grasp.
“Why are you doing this?”
The words oddly appeared in my head.
Beta’s golden eyes stared back at me as if he was the one to ask the question.
“I need your help, please.” I said as I slowly approached him. “Pretend.” I whispered against his lips before I kissed him again. He didn’t pull away, but he also didn’t kiss me back. “We have to make them think we are together.” I placed kisses to Beta’s neck as I whispered the words in his ear.
Once again, Beta pulled away from me. His eyes stared back at me, but he looked a million miles away. All of sudden Beta’s eyes cleared and I could tell he was paying attention to me now. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pushed my back against the wall. For a split second I was terrified that he’d starting to take this serious. Sure, I was angry with Alpha, but I had no intentions of sleeping with Beta. But then I noticed that in this position, he hid me from the cameras. With his body blocking the cameras you couldn’t really tell what we were doing.
The word “Explain” appeared in my head again.
“My roommate is being attacked. They’re hurting her, Beta. I’m trying to fight them, but they are stronger than me. I need your help.” I said all of this in the crook of Beta’s neck. When I looked back up at his eyes, he was doing that thing again where he’s looking at me, but seemed a million miles away.
Then he blinked and he’s back. Beta stepped away from the wall and let me down, my feet hit the ground. He stepped away from me, but he didn’t say anything else. He walked to the door and knocked three times. The door opened and he walked out without acknowledging me. I had no idea if he would help me or not. This all could have been a big waste of time and energy.
The weight of the day finally hit me and I fell to my knees. My body shook as the tears flooded my eyes.
****
It’d been three days since I’d last seen Ashley in that shower. In those three days, I hadn’t been myself. For the most part of the day, all I wanted to do was sleep. I was always tired, crying, or hungry. I’d been emotionally eating and I’d already started to see the side effects of it. This morning, I noticed the slight pudge of my belly. I probably should care, but I didn’t. It’s not like I was ever going to get out of here. Since the meeting with Beta, I hadn’t been able to leave my room. My showers have been monitored closely and now they refused to give me a razor. I didn’t blame them, I wasn’t sure what I would do if I had access to one. The entire compound had been tensed since that day in the shower. Everyone’s been on lock down. Apparently the super soldiers had been causing problems. They’d been throwing rage fits left and right, they refused to work or breed, and now they’d started the grunting. Day in and day out all you heard through the halls from their cells was this gorilla like grunting. It changed in tempo throughout the day, but it never stopped. I would be impressed at how long they could make the noise without needing to breathe, but I couldn’t muster up the emotion to care about anything.
When my room door opened and Ashley stepped in, I stood from my bed. I didn’t know how she would respond to me. I did keep her from dying three days ago. I admit my reasoning was selfish, but I still wouldn’t change a thing. I didn’t want those assholes to win. They didn’t get to take Ashley away from me.
When the door closed, Ashley and I both stood quietly. Her head was down and her wrist were bandaged up. She hadn’t looked at me.
My heart dropped. She’s angry.
“I’m ssssssorry, Ashley.” I confessed.
She still hadn’t looked up from the floor.
“I couldn’t lllllllllose you.”
She lifted her head and her almond shaped eyes glistened with tears. She rushed to me with her arms out and wrapped them around me for a hug.
“I’m sorry, Morgan.” She explained before bursting into tears.
For a moment, we held onto each other as we both shed our tears. Eventually she let go of me.
“I didn’t know what else to do. I just wanted them to stop hurting me. I just wanted…..”
I silenced her cry with another hug. She didn’t need to explain her actions to me. I knew what she was experiencing night after night. I witnessed her attacks every time and I knew what it did to me, so I could imagine what she was going through. This place had a way of breaking you and making you want to give up. The thought of death sings to you in your most vulnerable moments. Its ballads offer peace and joy, it beckons you in the darkest of times. I knew how hard it was to ignore. But I won’t let it win. If I died behind these walls I would die with visions of freedom in my eyes, not the bitterness of defeat on my breath.
“Don’t worry. We will get through this. We wwwwwwwillll fight together.”
I meant those words. I didn’t care if I had to fight every night, I was going to fight for her.
Ashley nodded her head. We were in this together.
That night as I lay awake listening to the barking grunts of the super soldiers, I thought of Alpha. It wasn’t uncommon for him to be on my mind. I’d thought of him a lot these last three days. Mostly when I thought of him, that ache in my chest came back and the tears started to fall, but this time there is no ache or tears. This time when I thought of Alpha, I got this feeling of calmness. There was this warming feeling running through my body that made me feel like no matter what, everything would be alright.
“I miss you, Alpha.” I said the words out loud to the empty room.
The sound of the locks disengaging had me springing up in my bed. Again I allowed my desire to see him let me believe it was him. Finally Alpha was coming to me. Then reality kicked in. Three figures appeared in the dark and I knew it wasn’t my dream coming to pass, but my nightmare.
“God, I wish those fucking monsters would shut the hell up.” The large guy with the brown hair said as he walked into the room.
“They are driving everyone bat shit crazy. Nobody knows what the hell they want. They should just put a bullet in all of their fucking skulls and spare us this experimental bullshit.” The blonde stated.
I got to my feet, placing myself between the three men and Ashley.
“Get out!” my only weapon was a pillow case I filled with mine and Ashley shoes. It wasn’t much, but it was all we had.
“Damn I’m tired of this dumb bitch!”
“Maybe tonight, we give the little one a break.” Big guy said.
Blonde hair chuckled. “I’ve never fucked a fat chick before.”
My stomach rolled at the thought of them pinning me down and doing to me what they did to Ashley.
Before I could respond, the door to my room opened again. For the love of god please don’t let this be another guard coming to join them. Three was already going to be a tough fight for me seeing as all I had was a sack of shoes, but four would be impossible. I waited on bated breath to spot the familiar green fatigues of another guard. However, it wasn’t another guard. Dark gray and black fatigues entered the room. It was Gamma.
Gamma closed the door behind him. The three guards turned to look at each other.
“What the fuck are you doing out of your cell?” Big guy stated boldly.
“Call down to the boys on the main floor. Tell them one of their freaks is out of his cell.” Blonde hair said to the skinniest of the three.
The skinny guy pulled the walkie-talkie out of his belt loop, but faster than what was humanly possible, Gamma had the guy around the neck. He took the walkie-talkie out of the guard’s hand and stuffed it down his throat. Like a cobra swallowing a goose egg, I could see the entire imprint of the device in the guard’s neck. The soldier dropped to the floor kicking and gagging. The commotion woke Ashley who stood behind me clutching my arm.
“What the fuck, man?” The blonde haired guy said.
He held up his arms toward Gamma like he was being arrested by the police. Gamma took no time grabbing the soldier and twisting his head around his shoulders. The blonde fell to the ground in a lifeless heap.
The last guard was the big guy. The sicko that seemed to get the most joy out of hurting Ashley. Big guy ran to the door pounding with his fist to get out. I don’t know if it was his fear that kept him from turning the knob or did he just not remember that the doors locked from the outside. Either way, he never made it out of the room. Gamma grabbed him by the back of the neck and tossed him to the middle of the floor. The guard landed on his back and Gamma was quickly standing over his body.
“Please! Please don’t hurt me. I have a wife and kids at home that depends on me.”
“Did you think about your wwwwwwife and kids when yyyyyyyou attacked my friend at night?” I screamed down at him.
How dare he use his wife and kids as an excuse? This asshole raped my friend for weeks. He pinned her down and took her body against her will. He laughed when she cried and begged for him to stop. Not one time did he think of the people she had at home.
“Did yyyyyou think about them when you threatened to rape me tonight?”
Gamma’s eyes cut to me, and for a split second, the green turned silver. The room was pretty dark, so maybe I imagined it, but I could have sworn for a second I saw Alpha looking back at me. Gamma turned back to the man lying on the floor and snarled down at him before he lifted his foot and brought it down hard on the man’s genitals. The guard screamed so loud my ears rung. The crotch of his green fatigues turned dark. Initially I thought it was urine, but the more I watched the stain spread I realized it was blood. By now the skinny guy was no longer convulsing on the floor. I was positive the blonde was dead as well. Big guy was either dead or passed out because he was no longer screaming.
Gamma turned to me, those green eyes stared intently at me.
“Thank you.” I said.
He simply nodded his head.
Ashley came from behind me and flew into Gamma’s arms. He wrapped his arms around her and she cried as she told him thank you over and over. Gamma placed a kiss on Ashley’s fore head, and I had to turn away from the look on his face. He didn’t do this for me. That look told me that this was all for her. I hoped that Ashley got her very own happily ever after. Even if I never got mine.
Gamma pulled the bodies out into the hallway later that night after he put Ashley back to sleep. She refused to let him go, so he stayed until she fell asleep in his arms. I tried to help him move the bodies out into the hall, but he wouldn’t let me help. Then, before dawn, just as silently as he came, he left.
I knew that Ashley and I would have some explaining to do about the dead bodies on the outside of our door. I was ready when the door to our room flew open and five guards, Dr. Strong, Asim and Donavan entered the room.
Even though we could hear the super soldiers grunting from inside our cell, it was always much louder when the door was open.
I stood from the bed, I had just placed my wild curly hair in two braids.
“Good morning, Morgan.” Dr. Strong said in greeting.
Ashley quietly sat up in her bed, her legs crossed in front of her.
“Good morning.” I said back.
Dr. Strong’s eyes watched me. He’s studying my every move.
“You had an eventful night last night didn’t you?”
I looked to Ashley very briefly, her eyes flashed down to me, and without discussing anything we had an understanding.
I turned back to Dr. Strong. “Not really. I slept fairly well.”
He frowned. It’s only a split second reaction but I caught it. “Oh!” He said placing his hands behind his back. “So you have no idea why there are two dead bodies lying in front of your door?”
I tamped down on my reaction. Two dead bodies? It should have been three. I didn’t say this to him, instead I shrugged my shoulders.
“No I haven’t heard anything about it. Was it someone I knew?”
“It was Jones and Cooper.” One of the guards spoke up angrily. “You filed a report about them awhile back.”
“Oh! You mean the bastards I reported for rrrrraping my roommate? The ones you guys dddddid nothing about?”
All the guards looked around nervously.
“What do you mean, raped?” Dr. Strong’s voice was cold. I knew that voice, he was pissed.
“I reported to your sssstaff that three men would come into my room at night and rape my roommate while they held me dddddddown and made me watch. Apparently the complaint wasn’t high up on their list of concerns.”
The room falls eerily silent as the tension grows. “Did they touch you?” His question caught me off guard. Was he seriously concerned about me? I never even thought to tell Dr. Strong what was going on. I assumed he knew and just didn’t care.
“No, not in that way.”
Dr. Strong nodded his head towards me.
“I’m assuming this report got lost in the files on my desk.” Dr. Strong turned his attention to Asim.
“I never received any report of a rape.” Asim turned to the guards in the room.
“It….uh…..it must have gotten lost. I’ll see if we can find it.”
“Yes you will do that.” Dr. Strong demanded before turning back to me. “It is obvious that someone handled the situation. Do you have any idea who it might have been?”
“Aren’t there videos. There are cameras in every corner of this building, you didn’t catch anything?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips.
I was not going to volunteer any information. I didn’t know if or how they would punish Gamma for killing those guards and I wasn’t going to find out.
“It seems the cameras conveniently got turned off around the time of the murders.” Dr. Strong admitted between clenched teeth.
They had nothing.
I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled. “Ssssorry, I can’t help you.”
He watched me closely. I had no idea what he was searching for, but he wouldn’t get it.
“Ms. King?”
“I have no idea.” Ashley lied smoothly.
Again the room was silent.
“Alright!” Dr. Strong chuckled.
He knew we were lying, but he couldn’t prove anything.
“I guess we are done here.”
Before he turned around, Ashley stepped down from her bunk.
“Sir,” She stopped Dr. Strong.
He turned around and gave her his attention. Ashley must’ve felt the same way I did when Dr. Strong looked at me. His eyes were calm, but I still saw that madness dancing in his pupils. Ashley wrapped her arms around her body protectively and looked down.
“Why are they making that sound?” As if her words alone cranked up the noise, I could now hear the grunting sound much louder.
“Because they’re fucking freaks.” One of the guards mumbled .
Dr. Strong cut his eyes to the guard and then back to Ashley.
“I believe they are upset. They are like children. When they cannot have their way, they act out. This is a temper tantrum. We will treat it the same way one would treat a toddler throwing a fit in the store, you ignore it until they calm down.” Dr. Strong then turned his eyes to me. “We do not negotiate with animals. Eventually, they will stop.” With that, he turned and walked out of our room.
Everyone else left with him. Asim caught my eyes as he walked out. There was something in his eyes, something he was trying to tell me. I don’t think Asim quite believed what Dr. Strong was saying. If I was being honest, I didn’t either.