Fiery hot water cascaded down on Kean’s back, pummeling his upper body and making the cramped muscles in his shoulders and back weep with relief. His whole body hurt, courtesy of the stubborn calf that refused to be born without him pulling the damn baby cow all the way through the birth canal. He had managed, and both calf and mom had survived, but his body had suffered. Bless the person who had insisted on installing high quality showers in the bunkhouses. Probably his brother, he thought, knowing Palani and he shared an affinity for long, hot showers.

He took his time cleaning himself, though not so much because he worried about actual dirt as because he was too tired and aching to move. Even the thought of having to towel himself off made him want to curl up into a ball on the bathroom floor on that fluffy, soft bath rug.

He was still in the shower, fighting the urge to stay there, when he heard someone enter his room. Shit, he forgot. That had to be Bray. They had texted earlier that day to meet. That was before the little calf had turned out to be such a problem child.

“I’m in the shower,” he called out, then realized the stupidity of that statement, as Bray could hear the water run.

He wondered if the alpha would walk in. Showering together, now there was an appealing a visual. God, he loved that man’s body. Kean was decent-sized for a beta, but Bray dwarfed him. Every time he looked at the man’s arms and chest, he went a little weak in the knees.

“I’ll wait here,” Bray called out.

No need to stay in the shower any longer then, Kean thought, a little disappointed. He groaned as he dried himself off, every move sending painful stabs through his abused muscles. He slung the towel around his waist, unsure if Bray would appreciate him walking in naked. It was ridiculous considering why the alpha was there in the first place, but somehow, Kean knew the man had lines that shouldn’t be crossed. He had made it clear this was about sex, so Kean better not venture into relationship territory.

Bray’s eyes did light up when he spotted Kean, then narrowed into slits as he caught his cautious moves.

“What happened to you?”

Kean groaned as he put his boxers on with slow, careful moves. Damn, bending over was hell. He better be careful not to make it worse, or he wouldn’t even be able to go to work tomorrow.

“I had a stubborn calf that needed to be born,” he said between clenched teeth as he managed to pull his underwear up.

Bray whistled between his teeth. “Looks like you pulled a few muscles.”

Kean had never realized how many muscles he used putting on a shirt, but he was discovering now. Holy hell, this was far beyond painful.

“More than a few,” he said, trying to make light of it. “If there is a muscle in my shoulders and back that doesn’t hurt, I haven’t found it yet.”

Bray had found a spot in a reading chair, and Kean lowered himself on his bed. “But enough about me. How was your day, honey?”

It took a few seconds before Bray realized it was a joke, Kean saw. Did he really think…? He mentally shook his head. He had to remember that Bray was a literal guy. It wasn’t that he didn’t have a sense of humor, but he tended to take things literally at first.

Bray shrugged. “Nothing special.”

His eyes told a different story. There was a wariness there that was new. “I assume that’s code for something happened but you can’t tell me about it?” Kean said lightly.

One corner of Bray’s mouth tipped into a hint of a smile. “Close enough,” he said. “There have been some developments that have me worried,” he added, and it surprised Kean he even shared that much.

“It’s a big responsibility you have here.”

“It is, and I won’t deny it weighs heavily on me.”

He was answering Kean’s questions, sharing more than Kean had counted on, and yet he couldn’t shake the impression that Bray wanted to end this line of conversation. Or was Kean misinterpreting his signals?

Then it hit him. Bray sucked at making small talk. Maybe he didn’t have much experience or maybe it was just not a natural skill, but the alpha struggled with making simple conversation. Was it weird that he found that endearing? Probably. Not that he cared.

“I already told Palani I need an assistant at some point,” he said. “Today was really a two-person job.”

Bray cocked his head as he studied him. “Aren’t you technically the assistant yourself?”

He was right, Kean reminded himself. No need to get all upset about something that was factually correct.

“You’re right, but I’m the only one here who can even do this kind of work right now. I’m hoping to go back to school and become a full-fledged veterinarian.”

Bray raised an eyebrow. “That’s gonna be a challenge, the combination of school and working here, especially considering how far away you are from the university.”

“I know, and I haven’t quite figured out how I will do it, but it’s definitely something I want.”

“Veterinarian, that’s pretty much alpha territory, right?” Bray asked.

“It is,” Kean confirmed. “Most veterinarians are alphas, but that doesn’t mean a beta can’t do the job, you know that. My experience here will definitely help me as I’m doing a lot of work most vet techs can’t even dream of. I’m sure that will come in handy for my degree.”

“You and your brother, you guys really don’t like to make it easy for yourself, do you?”

Kean decided he would take that as a compliment. “Nope, we don’t. Nothing wrong with setting a challenge for yourself, right?”

Bray kept looking at him, then said, “I don’t want you to get in over your head.”

He was concerned for him, Kean told himself. He ignored the voice in his head that said it could also be interpreted as if Bray didn’t have much faith in him, or even in betas in general. Surely the alpha hadn’t meant that, right?

“Not to be rude, but you don’t look like you’re in the mood to hook up,” Bray said, his voice as emotional as if he was discussing the weather.

Kean’s fleeting fantasies of Bray massaging his neck and shoulders vaporized. “I guess I’m not,” he said.

“No worries, I understand. Make sure you take painkillers and get a good night’s sleep,” Bray said. “Text me when you’re recovered.”

Before Kean realized it, the alpha walked out, leaving him bewildered. What the hell had just happened?

He didn’t sleep well despite taking the painkillers, and when he woke up, the strange evening was still on his mind. He popped two more ibuprofen after breakfast, then set out to work, his mind still on Bray. It didn’t hit him till the end of that day, a day where he’d subconsciously been expecting a text from Bray, asking him how his back was doing. It never came, and when they ran into each other during lunch, the alpha barely spared him a glance. Not that that was unusual, as he rarely did in front of others, which Kean thought was because he didn’t want others to know they were together. 

It wasn’t till he was in the shower that night, a feeble attempt to get his cramping muscles to relax, that he realized where he’d been wrong. They weren’t together. Not in Bray’s mind. 

Kean couldn’t believe he’d missed it the night before, but he blamed it on how exhausted he’d been. They didn’t have a relationship, no matter how much Kean wanted it. And they never would have. Bray didn’t even consider him relationship material. All he would ever be was a good fuck. 

And as the warm water eased his muscles, Kean took a long, hard look at himself and wondered if he wasn’t worth more. 

Sven’s body had felt off ever since his last heat, but he’d blamed it on the weird energy bursts Lidon’s shifting kept causing. It affected all of them, and he’d figured maybe that was why he’d been feeling weird, tired and not himself. 

But now, seven weeks after his heat, he couldn’t deny the obvious truth anymore. He sighed as he examined himself in the mirror. Was it his imagination or was his stomach a little more rounded than it had been before? A pregnancy lasted six months, and it had been seven weeks since his heat, which meant it would be detectable by now. Yeah, it would be, as he remembered from Vieno’s pregnancy. He sighed as he let his fingers trail his stomach. What the hell would he do now?

Even though he’d witnessed Vieno’s pregnancy from the sidelines, he still knew little about the whole process. Getting pregnant hadn’t been on his radar at all. At first, his biggest goal had been to get out of his father’s house with Lars and find their own place to live. Then when they’d moved into the ranch, it had been to get through his heat. Then they’d met Grayson and well, life had been good. They were happy, the three of them. Happier than Sven had ever thought possible. 

Yes, he loved taking care of little Hakon, and he had thought about a baby of his own lately. But Grayson was a dad already, with grown children. They had never talked about kids, and with a sickening feeling to his stomach, Sven considered that the man might not want more children. Then what would he do?

He needed to be sure first, though he had little doubt. The changes were too obvious to be denied. He wasn’t throwing up, like Vieno, but his stomach was a little woozy in the mornings. He’d come to hate the smell of coffee, though he’d always loved it. And his whole body felt different. 

So, he needed to get tested, which was easier said than done. It wasn’t like he could go to the city on his own and buy a pregnancy test. Sure, he could tell Lars, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to do that yet. They’d been making decisions together for a long time, but this was different. Lars would have strong opinions, as he usually did, and Sven needed more time to figure things out. Plus, he might want to tell Grayson, and Sven wasn’t ready for that yet. 

No, there was only one solution right now. He timed it so he ran into Enar when he was done in the clinic, where the man was always the last one to leave. Well, Sando was still in his room in the back, working on whatever all those formulas were about, but he wouldn’t pay attention. Sven had discovered that the omega wouldn’t hear a bomb go off when he was concentrating on his work. 

“Hey, Sven,” Enar greeted him when he spotted Sven walking in. 

“Can I talk to you?” Sven wanted to get right to the point, before someone could interrupt them.

Enar’s eyes tightened in worry. “Sure. What’s up? Are you okay?”

They’d made small steps in the last months to get to know each other better, and while they weren’t close by any standard, Enar was unfailingly kind toward him and even Lars. 

Sven took a deep breath. “I think I’m pregnant.”

Enar’s eyes widened. “You think the birth control didn’t work?”

“Yeah. I feel different. Slightly nauseous. Tired. And just off.”

“Okay. There could be several reasons for that, but pregnancy could be one of them. The meds I have you on are ninety-five percent effective, but there’s no data yet on using them with omegas who have the Melloni gene. It could very well be they don’t work—though I’ve used them on Vieno twice before he got pregnant. Would you like to do a pregnancy test first, so we know for sure?”

Sven was ever so grateful Enar went into doctor-mode, sensing Sven didn’t need reassurance or comfort, but facts. 

“Yes, please,” Sven whispered. 

“Sure. Go into the first exam room while I grab supplies, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Enar was only gone for a few minutes, and Sven tried to keep himself calm. His mind wanted to panic over even the possibility of a pregnancy, but he refused to entertain it. One step at a time.

When Enar came back, he explained how the test worked and Sven went into the adjoining bathroom. He dutifully peed on the stick, stuck it back into the holder-thingy, washed his hands, and walked back out with trembling hands, holding the stick. He handed it to Enar. 

“It’s positive,” he said, his voice barely audible. He cleared his throat. “It’s a double line. I’m pregnant.”

Enar studied the stick, then put it down on the desk. “It looks like you are. I’ll draw some blood to double-check, but how are you feeling about this, Sven? Talk to me.”

Sven sat down on the chair next to the desk, his insides strangely calm. “I don’t know. Shocked, I guess. Do…do I have to tell Grayson?”

Enar shook his head. “You don’t have to tell him anything. This is your body, Sven, and it’s your decision. If you want to keep it, alone, with Lars, or in whatever way, we’ll support you in that. If you decide to give it up for adoption, there's a great adoption agency that would be happy to find a good home for your baby.”

“And if I wanted to…terminate the pregnancy?”

“Then that’s your choice and we’ll respect it.”

“Grayson could forbid me,” Sven said. “As the alpha-father, he could—”

“He wouldn’t,” Enar said. “And even if he did, I wouldn’t honor his decision. It’s your call, Sven, and no one else’s. You can talk to as many people as you want or to none at all, and I will do whatever you decide.”

Sven sat on the bed, his arms wrapped around himself, and tried to imagine himself with a baby. It was surprisingly easy but maybe that was because of the hormones? He loved holding Hakon, and Vieno had said more than once Sven had a good instinct with him, but was that enough? Watching Hakon for a few hours wasn’t the same as having a kid of your own.

“What do you think I should do?” he asked Enar. “I’m so young to have a kid, and Lars too, and I don’t know how Grayson would feel about this. He already has kids, so I’m sure he wouldn’t want to start all over again.”

Enar smiled at him. “I can’t make the decision for you, but I can offer you a few things to keep in mind. Medically, having an abortion has risks, and it has a higher risk of complications with future pregnancies. That’s something to keep in mind. If that’s the way you want to go, the earlier you let me do it, the less those risks will be, so you’re a little pressed for time.”

Sven’s head shot up. “You would do it?” he asked, surprised. “I thought they were illegal under these circumstances.”

“They are, but I do them anyway. I hope I can trust you with this information.”

Sven nodded quickly. “Yes, yes, absolutely. I was surprised. I didn’t know.”

“Now you do,” Enar said. “And I trust you’ll keep this to yourself. As for Lars and Grayson, you can’t decide for them how they would feel. You don’t have to consult them as it’s your decision, but don’t make the mistake of assigning them reactions and emotions in your head without testing those. Grayson may surprise you. He loves you and Lars so much. There’s nothing that man wouldn’t do for you.”

He was right. Sven wasn’t sure of many things in his life, but Grayson loved him, and Lars too. That was a fact. The three of them were like a puzzle that fit perfectly, even though they were oddly shaped pieces. But what if he added a baby to that mix? What would that do to their relationship, to their dynamic? Lars still needed Grayson in a big way, and the daddy-care Grayson offered meant so much to him. Would that have to stop?

God, his head hurt already. And Enar was right, Sven couldn’t know for sure how they would react until he told them. But did he want to? They could influence his decision, make him do something he didn’t want. 

“Take at least a day to think it over. Whatever you decide will be okay, Sven. Come find me when you’re ready to talk, okay? This is your call.”