Animate Me / Chapter Three / Buttering Her Up

“Ah, my little darling, it is love at first sight, is it not, no?” ~Pepe le Pew

It’s past ten p.m. when I erase the stray lines from my finished drawing and hold it up for closer inspection. This is the best cover yet, I think proudly as I date the bottom. Even though I’ve been self-publishing my own comic book on the side for over a year, each new issue of The Adventures of B-Girl in Wildsville feels like my first.

There are times I have almost given up on the project. The time and money I’ve spent are ridiculous. I keep doing it because these are my characters created with my vision, and I don’t have to compromise a thing for anyone. My co-workers and friends at Sketch Republic know about it, and many buy and read them. They may not say it, but I think they admire that I have the focus and energy to do this after working so hard at the studio.

My inspiration for this issue’s cover was the movie Doctor Strangelove, so B-Girl is straddling a large rocket about to shoot into space. Yeah, it’s very ride ‘em cowgirl, but she looks really hot which is how I like to see her…and incidentally won’t hurt sales either. My friend Billie, who works at my favorite comic book store, says that girls like sexy heroines too. She keeps track and says my books sell almost equally to girls as guys. I love that.

Before turning off the lights in my home studio, I open my online calendar to capture today’s most noteworthy events. I write one entry: Took B coffee and discussed chivalry school. On Saturday there was only one entry too: Talked to Brooke at Jimmy’s Geek World. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…Brooke was the only thing that mattered. The best part of all is that she’s even more wonderful than I had imagined during all this time I’ve admired her from afar. She’s kind and approachable, creative and fun, a cartoon expert…hell, she’s my dream girl…and to top it off, she’s beautiful and sexy too.

I’m getting worked up just thinking about her. Within less than a week she has become the brightest star in my universe. It already feels like I’m orbiting around her.

Brushing my teeth, Brooke’s favorite pearly whites, I prepare to slide into bed, my iPod fully loaded with my latest self-improvement download from the master, Dr. Wayne Dyer. I adjust my ear buds as I turn on the recording from my motivational guru. Wayne’s encouraging words always help me focus on the bigger picture. What do I dream of? What do I really want?

I’ve got an extremely vivid imagination. So as I lie in bed, I’m completely living in the scenes I’m creating in my head, and Brooke quickly becomes the star of tonight’s show.

Thoughts are things my friends. Never underestimate the power of your mind. The first step in achieving your life’s goals is to visualize yourself already doing the things you dream of.

Okay then, I’m visualizing doing the things I dream of with Brooke and a lot of those things aren’t rated PG. What’s key is that in every scenario she gazes at me with adoration, as if she cares about me the way I care about her.

As Wayne chants away in my ears, I have to wonder if I’m weird for wanting her to not just want to be with me physically, but to love me too? As unlikely as this idea is, I’m not going to stop wanting it all…every part of Brooke, her heart most of all.

When I roll over to turn on my alarm, I decide that I’m going to continue to listen to Wayne and apply his positive thinking techniques while picturing Brooke in my arms. I fall asleep imagining that I’m spooning her instead of the king-size pillow my arms are wrapped around.

• • •

I’m about ten Bucky drawings into my day when Dani slips into my cube. “Have you seen this?” she says. “They’ve asked me to color it. Kevin is planning to make it a storybook. He’s already done a dozen drawings.”

“On the company’s time, I bet.” I sigh and I reach out for the drawing.

“No doubt,” she agrees.

It’s a straightforward view of the couch in Andy’s apartment. I know because I recognize the Darth Vader poster hanging crooked on the wall. In the drawing Andy and I are sitting with our two life-size vinyl girlfriends. He is lovingly brushing the hair of his babe, and I’ve got my hand firmly planted on the large breast of my plastic vixen. Judging from the ‘O’ shape of her open mouth, she’s rather pleased. My eyes are bugging out behind my glasses, and my cheeks are red.

I make a face, but frankly I was expecting to see a drawing of this the moment Kevin suggested it. It’s just too juicy of an image not to do a caricature.

“Please tell me this is the only one that includes me,” I urge Danielle, or Dani as she prefers to be called.

“Yeah, your solo appearance,” she confirms. “As for Andy…well, let’s just say that he will never live down letting it slip that he had to send Brandy back to the factory for some ‘tightening.’ I mean, for fuck’s sake, I almost lost my lunch.”

I shake my head solemnly, “Yeah, not one of his brighter moments.”

“Hey, for real — do you have one of these at home too?”

Thankfully Dani has always felt like one of the guys to me, otherwise I would have passed out in embarrassment. “No! No matter how desperate I ever get I cannot imagine doing it with a doll.”

“Okay, I overheard one of the assistants mention that when she dropped something off in your cube she saw Google open with the words vinyl dolls in the search box.”

“That’s because I collect the little Japanese vinyl cartoon dolls…they’re collectible, like the ones you can get at Comic Con.”

“Oh, I love those!”

“Hey, what the hell was this assistant doing reading my computer screen anyway?”

“Probably scoping you out. The assistants have a pool going about whether you’re gay or not since you haven’t hit on a single one of them.”

“Are you trying to kill my afternoon or what? They remind me of the mean girls who bullied me in high school. You know, I was in a good mood until you brought all the rainbows and sunshine into my cube.”

“Sorry, I just like to know what people say about me, and thought you may feel the same. Just disregard and delete, and we’ll move on.” She turned to leave.

“Hey Dani,” I call out when she’s a few steps away.

She turns back and looks at me.

“Can I get a good copy of that after you’ve colored it? I’m going to frame it up for my Mom for Christmas.”

She knows I’m teasing her but she smiles anyhow, “Sure thing, Nathan!” And she all but skips down the aisle.

As unflattering as that drawing is, it’s still a keeper.

At four-fifteen I’m half-way into Brooke’s office when Brooke’s assistant, Morgan’s, shrill voice pierces my calmness.

“She’s not here, Evans.”

Evans? What have I done to her?

I try to push down my embarrassment. “Okay thanks, Morgan, do you know when she’ll get back?” I ask politely, looking down.

“Not for the rest of the day. She, Arnauld, and the other execs had a meeting with the management team that came in from New York.”

My expression falls as I stand with the drink and wonder what to do next. I need to see her and get my Brooke fix, and it hadn’t occurred to me that she wouldn’t be here.

“I’m onto you, you know,” Morgan brags in her irritating voice.

“On to me?”

“These afternoon coffee visits, you’re buttering her up for a pitch. Do you think she’s stupid? I’m sure she knows what you’re up to and it won’t work.”

“But I’m not doing that.” My stomach starts churning realizing that if Morgan thinks that, there’s a chance that Brooke does too.

“Sure, sure,” she taunts. “Okay then, if you’re not working her up for your pitch, then what are you doing?”

“We’re becoming friends,” I say quietly, realizing that I sound like I’m in the play yard of elementary school.

“Friends? You do realize that her boyfriend is the president of our company, Evans?”

I nod, and turn to leave before I lose it with the demon spawn. Right as I start to step away, I manage to have a flash of brilliance, and I turn back towards her.

“Hey Morgan, would you like this drink? It’d make me happy if you’d enjoy it.”

Her expression immediately softens. “Yeah, I’d like it, thanks. I can’t afford this stuff very often on my salary.”

“It’s a caramel macchiato. Is that okay?”

“Mochas are my favorite, but this sounds good. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Thanks for your help.”

She smiles, and I get a sudden strong sense that giving her that drink will pay off for me big time somewhere down the line.

• • •

On Friday the building feels more relaxed with all the executives still off site at meetings with the corporate bigwigs. There are open boxes of doughnuts everywhere and impromptu games of table football, and waste bin basketball. I even witness the pin the tail on Arnauld game that comes down from the break room wall almost as quickly as it went up. Around two-thirty, word spreads like wild fire that management has returned so everyone gets back to work.

Around an hour later, Dani wanders into my cube and slides the color copy of the finished double-date caricature onto my desk. She’s put some serious time into it, certainly more than I would’ve expected.

“Hey, thanks,” I enthuse. “It’s a work of art…a masterpiece.”

“Oh, yeah.” She rolls her eyes and folds her arms before hitching herself up on my desk. I watch her swing her legs back and forth a few times as I wait for her to spill whatever is on her mind.

She lifts her hand to her mouth and bites her thumbnail nervously. “Hey, does Nick ever still talk about me?”

“You mean since you guys broke up?” I ask.

“Yeah.” She watches me carefully to see if I’m going to dodge the question.

“Well, remember that day you didn’t show up and didn’t call anyone?”

“Yeah, the hangover from hell the day after Zara’s bridal shower. We got a little wild with the guys at the strip club.”

“Spare me the details. Just believe me that he was really worried about you. He made me call you over and over until you answered your phone.”

“And all this time I thought you had the hots for me.”

“You did?”

“Well, no, not actually, but I have noticed that I’m the only girl around here you talk to.”

I scratch my elbow, and consider her words. “That must be ’cause you’ve always been one of the guys.”

“You are so friggin’ charming, really.” She watches me lift a heavy pile of reference books off my desk to get them out of the way so I can get back to work. “Hey, do you work out a lot? You’re pretty built for a such a tall, lean guy.”

I blush, but am secretly pleased to have someone finally notice all my efforts. Between running on my treadmill, playing tennis and lifting weights, like Curtis showed me, I’m in the best shape ever.

“Yeah, I work out. Thanks for noticing.”

Suddenly I realize that she’s stopped listening and I look up to see her surprised expression. I then turn to see Brooke at the entrance to my cube. She looks out of place, and very uncomfortable. My heart thumps so loudly I fear she can hear it.

Oh wow, what’s she doing in my cube?

“Hi Brooke,” I say. “This is Danielle.”

“Dani,” she corrects me as she slides off my desk and waves to Brooke. “I need to get back to work anyway. Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Brooke responds and then looks back at me. “I’m sorry I interrupted you, but I thought it was time to return the favor. I brought you a coffee.”

I grin like an idiot. “Wow, thanks,” I say, stunned and unsure what to do. I finally step forward and gingerly take the drink from her.

“Of course, I had to guess what you drink…”

“And?” I start to turn the cup to read what’s been checked off.

“Venti Cappucino with extra foam.” She watches for my reaction.

“Extra foam?” I laugh, before my mind goes to dark places. Does she think I’m wimpy?

“The foam is my favorite part. Isn’t it yours?”

“Well, it is now.” I smile. “Thanks, this is perfect.” I lift the cup up and carefully take a swig, watching her the entire time.

“So I talked to Nick about you.”

My mind starts reeling. Good God, no. I can only imagine what embarrassing stuff he could say about me. “Really? What about?”

“Actually, he said you’re the best animator here.”

“Really?” I shake my head in disbelief. I know Nick likes my work, I overheard him once discussing me with Joel, but this is too much.

“As a matter of fact he said you’re one of the best he’s ever seen, and that you and Joel make a great team. You are the Rod Scribner to his Bob Clampett.”

“You know Rod Scribner?” I ask, not masking the awe in my voice. “He’s my favorite Looney Tunes animator from the golden age, when they really knew how to make cartoons.”

“Sure, he was a brilliant animator who worked with Bob. They made magic together.”

I’m one crazy guy, when talking about the greats of animation excites me like this. My emotion overcomes me and I bite my bottom lip to stop from saying anything stupid.

Her profound compliments have forced me to lose all logic and reason. For a moment I flash to an image of me falling to my knees and begging. Marry me, Brooke. We can honeymoon at Comic Con, and have our very own Three Little Bops.

“I warned you that I’m a geek. I’m a huge cartoon buff.”

She can’t be real…she’s just too good to be believed.

I struggle to gather my thoughts.

“Well Scribner and Clampett are two of my heroes. I know Joel fancies us as a great cartoon duo: the human versions of Ren and Stimpy, Fred and Barney, or Beavis and Butthead. I swear, if we’re a duo we’re Pinky and the Brain, and I’m definitely the Brain, whether he accepts that or not.”

Brooke laughs and looks over, noticing the caricature of Andy and me on the couch that Dani’s left on my desk. Before I pull it off the table to hide it she asks, “Is that your girlfriend on the couch with you?”

“No!” I say abruptly. “That’s just a stupid joke the guys were playing on me and Andy.”

“That’s one elaborate joke,” she comments suspiciously as she steps back. “Well, I’ve got to get going. I just wanted to bring you your coffee.”

I fear she’s mad at me, so it takes all my courage to look her in the eye and smile. “Thanks again. That’s so cool you got me coffee.”

“You’re welcome, Brain,” she replies smiling, as she heads down the hallway.

Of course as the afternoon wears on, I get more and more agitated remembering the awkward moment of Brooke coming all the way to my cube with coffee only to find another girl practically lying across my desk. Then to top if off, she sees an elaborate drawing of me grabbing some whorish looking chick’s tit. Damn it all. She must think I’m a complete and utter asshole.

By five forty-five I face the reality that I’ll go completely mad if I don’t talk to her again. I slowly stalk my way over to the executive offices, and happily discover that Morgan appears to be gone for the weekend. I peek into Brooke’s office to see her typing away on her laptop. I knock gently on her open door to get her attention.

She looks over at me. “Hey, Nathan. What’s up?” She says. I can hear the exhaustion in her voice.

“Can I come in? I want to clarify something.”

“Sure,” she replies pointing to the couch. “Have a seat; I’ll just be a sec.”

I slowly approach the couch and realize that I had pictured sitting with Brooke on this couch the first time I was in her office. Well, this at least is a step in the right direction.

I clear my throat as she appears to finish up an email.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Someone asked me if I have been bringing you coffee to butter you up for a pitch. I just wanted to let you know that I would never do that. That’s not why I’ve been talking to you, and you know…bringing you coffee.”

A gentle smile transforms her tense expression. “Okay, then why have you been bringing me coffee and talking to me?”

I’m dumbstruck for a moment. What do I say without sounding like an idiot? “Well, because you’re the kind of girl…I mean, when you give your talks at the company meetings I always…” I stop before I dig a deeper hole.

“Yes?”

I look down before blurting out, “You’re just really nice and interesting. And I never thought you’d talk to someone like me…I mean, you’re an executive, and I’m just an animator. You’re so cool to talk to.” I twist my hands nervously in my lap.

You’re batting a thousand here, bucko. I inwardly roll my eyes.

“Just an animator? Please. Give yourself some credit. You guys are what really matters around here.”

I can’t tell if she is just trying to make me feel better, or if she means it. She has a magical way of always making me feel important—like her equal, even though I’m not.

“Well, it wasn’t the most impressive meeting seeing me at Jimmy’s Geek World in my bow tie and all.” Something suddenly occurs to me that I had completely forgotten. “Hey, did your USB cord work?”

Her cheeks flush as she makes the cutest face at me. “Can you believe I haven’t even checked yet? The rest of my weekend and this week have been crazy busy.”

“Okay,” I reply a little disappointed that the object of our union had been pushed aside. “Tomorrow’s my last day covering for Bill there, so if you have time to check it out and there’s a problem, you know where I’ll be.”

Her phone rings, and although she doesn’t answer it, it reminds me that I should let her get back to work.

“That’s good to know. Thanks.”

I stand up to leave and push my floppy hair off my glasses. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“I’m curious…how old are you?”

She puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head. “I’m going to have to talk to the dean of the Chivalry University—they obviously don’t know what they’re doing. Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to ask a woman her age?”

My head drops, forcing me to push my glasses back up my nose. I start backing out of her office with my hands up.

“Sorry, sorry…just forget I asked.” I’m so embarrassed…why am I such an idiot? I’m going to have a stiff drink tonight and try to get over this.

“Hey, chill out…I was joking. I’m thirty. Why?”

I stop in her doorway, and try to catch up with the change in mood. She was just teasing me. I think for a second.

“You just seem so young to be so successful.” Good recovery, dude.

“I guess so,” she agrees. “How old are you?”

I pause for a moment before I fess up. Will she have an issue with being older than me? “Twenty-six.”

“You’re so young! So I could say the same. Look how much you’ve accomplished.”

Although I don’t believe I’m a success yet, I take the compliment. “Thanks.” I turn once again to leave. “So if I don’t see you tomorrow…then Monday?”

“Sure, it’s your turn for the coffee. Just saying…” She grins.

I nod and push my hands in my jeans. “See ya.” I give her my best tooth-flashing smile and head back to my cube. For all the twists and turns of that roller coaster ride, I step into the elevator feeling victorious.

Brooke brought me coffee! Progress has been made.