My heart felt heavy when I woke up the next morning and realized my time with Bethany was coming to a close.  My exhausted body had finally been forced to get some real sleep, and I felt like I had wasted so much time that we could have spent together—or I could have spent just admiring her beauty while she slept.  It had been the best weekend of my life and I wished it could go on forever.  I hoped there would be a time when we could permanently be together so they wouldn’t hurt so bad when they came to an end.  The sex was amazing, but just being close to her was an incredible feeling.  I got some water and crawled back into bed, pulling her back into my arms the instant my head hit the pillow.  I was still tired and her eyes never opened so I felt sleep pulling me in again.  Her breathing was like music to my ears and the closeness of our bodies made me feel like everything in the world was absolutely perfect.

***

“I WISH I COULD STAY longer.”  I held Bethany in my arms as I waited for my cab to appear.

“Me too, but you need to see your brother.  He’s willing to talk, so that’s the most important thing in the world right now.”  She rubbed her hand along my forearm.

“You’re the most important thing in the world.”  I squeezed her tighter.  “You’re all that really matters.  I love my brother, but I don’t care if it is just you and me against the world—you are everything to me.”

“I’ll feel better knowing that things are right with your brother.”  Her hand clasped on mine.  “The taxi’s here.”

“Just a couple more minutes.  They’ll wait.”  I pulled her close and kissed her for what I knew would be the last time that weekend.

It felt like torture when I broke from her embrace.  I walked out of her house and she kept the door open until I was in the cab.  I put my hand to the glass and stared at her until the cab took me so far away that I couldn’t see her any longer.  It was time to face my brother, grovel at his feet, and hopefully find a way to fix things. 

As nice as it would be to have a spot on his couch, I would settle for forgiveness.  I had done so many terrible things to him and while the current situation wasn’t nearly as bad as the things I had done in the past, I did understand his frustration.  I hoped a week apart had given him time to settle his anger and see that I had good intentions.  I didn’t mean to fall for Bethany and it was more lust than love when I first took her into my arms, but things had quickly changed.  There was no way I was letting her go, and I would sleep in a gutter before I would ever call it a mistake.

***

“COME ON IN.”  SLOANE opened the door and immediately walked over to his chair.

“Bethany said you wanted to see me.”  I stepped into the house and closed the door.

“Yes, we have some business to discuss.”  He picked up a piece of paper and held it out to me.  “According to this, you work for Grantham University?”

“Shit...”  I took the paper and sat down on the couch.  “Yeah, I did add myself to the payroll.  I needed the money and I had to have a job or they would have thrown me back in prison.”

“Well consider yourself unemployed.  Do you realize how much shit I would have gotten if anyone found out about this?  You’re a felon.  You can’t work in a school!  Not legally at least...”  His words were tense and he grunted with frustration.

“Just call it another bad decision and add it to my tab.”  I sighed and crumbled up the paper.

“That tab is getting pretty damn big and I don’t see you ever being able to pay it.”  He grunted and and shook his head.

“I know.”  I nodded.  “I’m sorry.”

“Well anyway, that wasn’t the only reason I wanted to see you.”  He sighed and closed his eyes.  “It is hard for me to admit this, but you were right—you were doing a good job at Grantham.  Despite your flaws, your fucked up logic, and your libido, you were doing a better job than I ever could have.”

“I really was trying.  That was never a lie.  I wanted to clean up the school so it wouldn’t be such a pain in the ass for you.”  I felt a bit of hope rising up inside me—he wasn’t yelling.  That was a good sign.

“I had an interesting visit from Mr. Matthews earlier this week.  Just how many people knew you were pretending to be me?”  His eyes opened slowly and he looked at me.

“Bethany and Mr. Matthews.  That was it.  Mr. Matthews saw me with Bethany and I decided to tell him the truth.  I think he needed to hear it.”  I shrugged.  “What did he say?”

“Well, he basically pledged his undying loyalty to me.  It was like—Game of Thrones level shit.”  Sloane chuckled.  “I didn’t know what to make of it at first, but I realized that he thought he was talking to you.”

“Game of Thrones?”  I raised my eyebrows.

“Right, you probably didn’t get HBO in prison.  Sorry, it was like he was bowing before his king.”  Sloane chuckled again and shook his head.

“I was worried about his decision.  I’m glad he made the right one.”  I smiled and nodded.

“Then of course I got a visit from the school board—and Braden Steele’s father.”  His mood darkened a bit.

“I was actually there for that one.  I had to earn my paycheck somehow, so I swept the floor behind you.”  I shrugged and smiled again.

“So you heard what they said.”  He sighed and looked at the ceiling for a moment.  “If my week couldn’t get any more fucked up—Bethany came to me for tutoring.  Tutoring and Bethany Lewis.  That was something I never thought I would hear.”

“I told you she wanted to apologize.”  I folded my arms across my check and nodded.

“I didn’t think there was a lick of good in that girl, but I guess I was wrong.  It seems like I’ve been wrong all week and it started last Saturday when I threw you out of here.  I’m not going to pretend that I can wrap my head around your relationship with Bethany.  I mean, I get why you like her—don’t get me wrong, she’s hot as hell.  It seems like there is more there than that, though.  She seems to care about you, so I was wrong about you two.”  He leaned forward slightly.  “This is me apologizing to you.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me.”  I shook my head back and forth.  “I’m the one that fucked up.  I wouldn’t change anything, but it did put you in a terrible spot.  I’m sorry about that.”

“I’m not done apologizing, I’m afraid.  Before I left school on Friday, I drafted my resignation.  I’m no longer going to be the Principal of Grantham University after this school year is over.  I gave them enough notice that they can spend the second half of the year finding some other sucker to run the place, but I’m done.”  He let out a sigh that sounded like one of relief.

“What?  You’re quitting?  The school is in a good spot.  I made some real progress—you can keep it going.  I’ll help you.  We can take turns if you want.”  My words came out in a hurried pace.

“No, I failed at that job.  I didn’t realize that until I got the visit from the school board.  I cowered in fear of the students, their parents, and everything that the school represented.  That isn’t the kind of leader that place needs.  I see now that my heart was never in it and even though it is in a much better place now, my heart still isn’t in it.  I love teaching.  I don’t like the administrative bullshit.  I’m going to get back in the classroom and do what I enjoy.”  He smiled and it looked like one of the most genuine smiles I had ever seen on his face.  “I’m at peace with this, and that’s because of you.  If you hadn’t come along, I would have drank myself into a stupor and eventually quit or gotten fired.”

“You’re sure you won’t change your mind?”  I raised my eyebrows in surprise, but I couldn’t help but feel like he was telling me the truth.

“Not at all.  I’ve never been happier.”  He leaned back in his chair.  “I finally know what I really want.”

“Then I’m proud of you, bro.”  I stood up and waited for him to stand.  We embraced in the first hug we had shared since we were forced to do it as children.

I regained my spot on Anton’s couch and the next day I started searching for a job.  There weren’t many options for someone like me, but I finally got a job flipping hamburgers next to high school kids.  It wasn’t my passion, but it was what I had to do to retain my freedom.  Bethany visited me most days after school and we had a few stolen kisses before I had to get back to work.  I took every hour of overtime they would offer and after about a month, I was able to get an apartment.  It definitely wasn’t the best, but it gave me a place to lay my head in a real bed—and it allowed Bethany to visit on a regular basis.  When I had spare time, I volunteered at the homeless shelter, and Bethany started becoming a regular there as well.  It felt good to help people.  I was living proof that it was possible overcome the demons, mend the fences that were bulldozed through, and find solace on the other side of a fractured past.