So here I am, cleaned up as best I can, standing outside the Hansen Brothers Garage, nervous as hell.

I’d much rather put my fist through a wall than ask Gigi’s family for favors. They owe me nothing. Nobody owes me. But I need a job, this job, or I’ll never be able to leave the gang.

I know that now. That I need to leave. Breaking ties won’t be easy, but that this is a first step. Because I’ve seen Gigi’s family, I’ve seen what a real family is like, and I fucking want that.

With Gigi.

The thought doesn’t shock me anymore. The thought of being with her. It’s been on my mind practically since I met her that first night in that club.

And if I want to be really fucking honest with myself, since I met her.

Still, it makes me stop and close my eyes, think of her. Think about it all, how my life has changed with her, how my thoughts cleared and the world turned fucking bright with her.

My girl.

Someone is coming toward me from inside the garage, and I make myself move. It’s a blond guy, and I vaguely recognize him as Matt Hansen’s brother, Kaden.

“Hey. Did you wanna come inside?” He grins at me, easy and confident, and wipes his greasy hands on his overalls. “Wait a minute, I know you. Aren’t you…?”

“Jarett. Jarett Fenris.” I somehow never got used to Lowe. And after all, legally, I’m not a Lowe, nor have I ever been. I also never use my real parents’ name, Randall. That time feels like someone else’s life. So distant from who I was.

From who I am.

“Kaden Hansen.” He shakes my hand. “Matt said we were expecting you. Come on inside.”

He leads me through the yard and a bay packed with cars in various stages of repair, into a narrow office, the desk piled up with papers and a computer.

Matt, bear man, stands up to shake my hand, too. His grip is crushing. I’m a tall guy, but he’s taller, and wider, built like a wrestler.

“Gigi said you’d come by.” He releases my hand and scratches at his dark beard. “I need someone who can use a computer, can issue invoices and receipts, someone organized who will put some order in the mess I’ve made.” He shoots a rueful glance at the piles of papers. “Even better someone who knows a thing or two about cars.”

“I do.” My palms are sweating. Dammit, I won’t be intimidated by this guy, even if he’s Gigi’s family and my potential employer. “I mean, I know a thing or two about cars. Dad…” I wince. “Mr. Lowe taught me before he passed.”

Matt’s brows go up. “That’s good to hear. When can you start?”

I stare at him. “Now if you like.”

“I like. You try it, see if you manage, and we see if you can stand us.”

I laugh, can’t fucking help it. “As long as you don’t trip me and then kick me when I’m down, trust me, I’ll be fine.”

“The hell?” Kaden exchanges a look with his brother, and I stop laughing.

Looks like I have the same problem around Gigi’s family that I have with her: I can’t keep my big mouth shut.

Matt scowls. “That’s not good.”

Fuck. “Look, I—”

“They did that to you?” Kaden crowds me, staring at the shiner on my jaw. “Is that why you’re limping?”

And here I thought my knee was doing good today. “Nah, that’s an old thing.”

“Okay. You’re not going back to that place,” Matt says. “No way. Do you hear me?”

He looks quite older than me. He has to be in his early thirties, and he has an air of authority about him, and strength that reminds me of Connor.

“I’m not going back,” I say.

“Awesome.” Suddenly he grins and pats me on the back, making me choke.

“Does that mean…?”

“It means you should quit smoking,” he tells me gruffly. “It’s the devil. Bad if you wanna start a family. You want to grow old with your kids.”

I almost choke again. “Start a family?”

“With Gigi. Think I haven’t seen how you look at her? Come walk with me.”

“Don’t bury his body in the woods without telling me!” Kaden calls after us as Matt steers me out of the office with an arm over my shoulders.

So not fucking funny.

“You can start today,” Matt tells me, leading me through a second bay and out the back of the shop to a small yard. “But first I want you to tell me about yourself.”

Dammit. I managed to evade most of Gigi’s questions, I think, but this guy doesn’t look like he’ll give any quarter. “I finished school, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“What about a record? Got one?”

I consider lying, then remember I can’t. That these are good people, Gigi’s people. That I’m done with lying. “I had one. Shoplifting. Damaging of public property. It’s from when I was a kid. I spent some months in juvie, too.” I draw a shallow breath. “Record’s sealed now.”

“Your parents?”

I shrug. “Dead.”

“And then you were adopted?”

“I was. A cop adopted me, by the name of Connor Fenris. He died, too.”

“Damn.” He says it with feeling, and I glance up, curious. “That blows, man. But Gigi says a family adopted you here afterward?”

“They never got around to it. The man died. She’s in a nursing home with advanced Alzheimer’s.” I look away, square my shoulders. “Is that a problem? I’m twenty, and my adult record is clear.”

“Nah, that’s fine.” He rubs the back of his head. “Just… tough luck, man. I’m sorry.”

I stop myself from shrugging again. “Shit happens.”

He nods.

Silence stretches.

“There’s one last thing.” He’s eyeing me, his gaze thoughtful. “Merc tells me you’re in a gang. That true?”

Fucking Merc. But yeah, no lying, right? “I am.”

“That ain’t no good. Can’t have Gigi hanging out with someone who’ll put her in danger, and then break her heart anyway.”

“I won’t. I won’t break her heart.”

He sighs. “Jarett…”

Can he stop me from seeing her, meeting her? He’s her family. I’m not. Would she listen to him?

My heart is pounding, knocking about in my chest.

“Look, I made a promise to look after my brother who is in that gang. But I’m done with that. I’m leaving the gang.” I take a breath. “Sir,” I add.

Not sure why. That’s what I called Connor.

He chuckles. “Now I definitely feel like her father. Look, I know bad shit happens to people. And promises are important. But Gigi is like my daughter, and no matter how nice you are, how you brought Gigi over when my wife was in labor, how you took care of her mom—and I appreciate all that, all right?—you’re not dating Gigi while you’re in that gang.”

My fists clench. “I love her.”

Something flickers in his dark gaze. “Good. That’s a start.”

A start?

“I’ve known Gigi for years,” he says. “She’s a happy person, but she doesn’t trust people. For some reason… she trusts you. If you change your ways, you can date her then.” And without giving me time to absorb that, he starts back toward the office. “Let me show you the files and what you have to do. It will be a long day.”

* * *

A few days later, I’m still working in the small, stuffy office of the garage. Matt hasn’t said another word about the gang, or Gigi. Organizing the files, the receipts, the whole paperwork gives me a feeling of satisfaction. I like order. Makes me think I have control over my life.

Always a mistake.

But Matt seems pleased and nods every time he checks up on my work. At night, I stay with Gigi. I moved out of the apartment, put my few belongings in a suitcase and am standing now in Gigi’s room. I even have my toothbrush in the bathroom, and my shampoo.

Her mom hasn’t said a thing about it. Neither has Merc or anyone else.

I wonder what will happen when Matt finds out.

Life is good right now. Damn good, the quiet days and nights blurring into one another. Matt’s kids from his ex-wife—who died, or so I understood from something Gigi said the other day—come visit, and they’re real nice kids, the girl all serious at first like a little princess, the boy a whirlwind. We played with their Lego set. Gigi sat pressed to my side, and everything was awesome.

Another day Maggie’s boyfriend comes over to visit. Never seen Gigi’s mom blush that much. Got me worried for a sec. The guy’s older than her but seems like a gentleman, and held her hand all the time. I stuck around to make sure he ain’t no douchebag, but he seems okay. I’m so fucking happy for her.

My mom seems to be getting worse. I’ve asked Matt to leave early today to visit her, as I haven’t seen her this week.

I’ve also missed a few gang meetings. Seb called to yell at me for it, said I’d better get my ass there for the next one, and for the job that’s coming up. Been trying not to think too hard about that, to be honest. Because life’s sweet right now.

I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop, hoping against all hope it won’t.

And then it does.

It always does. Every fucking time.

* * *

“Mom?” I’m sitting in front of her. She’s holding my hands.

“Is that you? She smiles at me. “My son.”

I shake my head. “No, no. I’m not Sebastian.”

“Sebastian? No, of course not.” She chuckles drily. “I never thought you were.”

She didn’t? “You’re always waiting for him.”

“Not for him. For you, Jarett. Waiting for you to let me in. Waiting for you to call me Mom. To realize how much you mean to me.”

I grip her hands tightly. “You’ve never said anything like that to me.”

“Search your memory. Don’t you know?”

“Know what?”

“That you’re my sweet boy. You’re always in my heart, Jarett. Bruce and me, we loved you from the start. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget what I said. Remember.”

Remember. She’s fading, turning to gray. Don’t forget.

* * *

“Mom?” I come awake with a gasp, lying on my back in Gigi’s bed, her arm draped over my stomach. “Shit.”

She blinks sleepy eyes at me. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

It had felt so real. I swear I can still feel Mom’s hands in mine, I can still hear her voice.

Remember.

It’s a bittersweet feeling, and she’s right, I do remember. She asked me to call her Mom. She told me she believed in me. That I was her son, now, just like Sebastian.

I’d pushed all that to the back of my mind when she fell sick. Remembering the good things I’d lost so quickly fucking hurt. But I remember now.

“Jarett?” Gigi props her cheek on her hand to look down at me. “Something’s on your mind. Want to talk about it?”

“It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.” I pull her close, kiss her sweet lips. “It’s still early.”

She falls asleep on my chest, and I brush my fingers through her long hair, but can’t stop the dream from replaying over and over in my mind until morning.

Together with the warmth left behind by the dream, there’s a cold, bad feeling, too. I can’t shake it off as I get up and shower, then sit down to breakfast with Gigi and Merc, even though he makes us pancakes.

He asks if I’m okay, and he and Gigi exchange long looks over my head.

I can’t tell them anything. I don’t know what’s wrong. If anything’s wrong.

Maybe I’m just not used to good dreams, good memories.

I kiss Gigi goodbye and head to the garage to start my day. It’s quickly becoming a routine, a good one. Kaden comes in with coffee and checks the appointments of the day, then Matt, red-eyed and yawning from staying up half the night because of the baby, but beaming with happiness.

And then I get the phone call. The one I got sometimes in my nightmares. I listen, and I put the phone down, not even sure I disconnected.

Getting up, I leave the office, and the garage, without telling anyone.

I can’t remember even how I get to the nursing home. But once I’m there, the reality slams back into me.

Mom’s dead.

* * *

She passed away quickly and suddenly, the doctor tells me. A heart attack in her sleep. A nurse found her during her rounds.

I look at her where she’s laid out on the bed. She seems to be smiling.

I rub a hand over my face and try Sebastian’s phone again. He needs to know.

Does he even care? He hasn’t been in to see her in more than a year. Maybe he doesn’t give a shit.

Or maybe he’s been hiding from the truth, not wanting to accept she’s sick.

Was sick. It’s over now.

Everything slips through my fingers like water, like sand. First my parents, then Connor, then her. You’d think I’d be used to it by now.

But the pain is fresh and raw, and it fucking tears me up inside like a claw, cutting me open.

Does that mean my promise to her is over? Is it broken?

No, promises don’t work that way, do they?

It wasn’t really a promise to her, but to myself. And I got it all wrong. Taking care of Seb doesn’t mean being in a gang with him. It means getting him to leave the gang, somehow. Getting him off the drugs and into rehab. I don’t know how, but I vow I’ll find a way.

I’m changing my promise to a better one. One where both Seb and I come out of this alive.