I couldn’t return to school after lunch. I think I would have broken down in the middle of class or something. Instead, after calming me down, Ryder took me to get some of the best ice cream I’d ever eaten.
My mother wasn’t at home when I arrived, so I knew she must have been teaching a class. Maybe in the park, down by the river, or at the community centre. She taught so many classes in so many different locations it was hard to keep up, so I quit trying. Deciding to take advantage of the empty house, I immediately made my way upstairs. I flopped down on my bed and replayed my disastrous first day in my mind.
I couldn’t even do homework to keep my mind occupied because I had left all my books at school. Instead, I was left replaying the day over and over. I think we pulled off the fake relationship quite well. Ryder made it easy, though. He was surprisingly good at being a boyfriend, considering he’d never dated anyone seriously. He was always controlled and didn’t care what people thought of him. I could probably learn a lot from him. I tended to worry about people’s opinions and reactions, and I knew it was stupid.
I was a nervous wreck when we got to school that morning—all that unwanted attention that came with being Ryder’s girlfriend was daunting. I wasn’t used to that kind of exposure. Sure, when I was with Chace, I was fairly popular. Being best friends with Christina certainly put you in the spotlight, too. But it wasn’t nearly as intense as the first day back at school with Ryder. I had gone from having a preppy boyfriend who was preparing for one of the top universities to seeing the bad boy everybody wanted or wanted to be. It drew a lot more attention than I was anticipating. It was certainly different.
But if I was honest with myself, I wouldn’t have made it through half the day if it hadn’t been for Ryder. If I’d had to walk into school that morning on my own and seen Chace and Christina together in homeroom, I would have broken down. I was glad I only had homeroom with them. Spending those few minutes with them at lunch was enough to rip open the stitches holding my heart together and make me feel the pain all over again. I just hoped I never had to face them together when I was alone. If I could get through the year without being alone with them, I would be okay. If I had to see them, then I hoped I’d have Ryder by my side because he seemed to make it easier, even though I didn’t understand how. Maybe it was the time we had spent together over the summer holidays, or maybe it was the fact that he had been the only person to speak to me since Chace dumped me. There was just something about Ryder’s carefree attitude that calmed me down. If he wasn’t affected by them, I was less affected, if that even made sense.
It was going to be hard, but I had to get over Chace. I knew I did. I couldn’t keep feeling like this. Like a part of me was missing. They say time heals all wounds. I’d had almost two months of healing, but when Chace spoke to me for the first time in the cafeteria, it took everything I had not to cry and fall to pieces. Time may heal wounds, but I didn’t have any more time. I would see them every day. I needed to improve now, and I didn’t have a clue how to do it. I thought I was doing well over the summer. Ryder made me forget. But I guess I wasn’t healing. Just masking my pain.
Feeling restless and bloated from too much ice cream, I decided to go for a run. I needed to clear my head and burn off those calories.
An hour later, I found myself at the bookstore. It was the perfect place to keep my mind busy, even though I was not meant to be working that day. But what could be a better way to lose myself than in a place full of books and fantasy? I walked to the back of the shop, where Mrs. Romanov was flicking through a stack of papers.
“Bailey, my dear, what are you doing here? How was your first day back?” She blew a string of grey hair out of her face and smiled at me.
“I needed to get out. It was a horrible first day,” I told her, shrugging and willing the tears to stay away.
“Have a cup of tea with me. Tell me about it.” She took me by my hand and led me into the little kitchen at the very back of the store through a door concealed by a bookshelf.
For an older woman, she was surprisingly easy to talk to. She reminded me of my grandmother—well, what I could remember of her—and I soon found myself telling her everything. How Chace had broken up with me for Christina, why I’d changed my appearance, how Ryder and I were pretending to be in a relationship to hurt Chace as much as he hurt me, and how I was regretting it because of all the attention that came with it.
“As petty as it sounds, it all seemed like a good idea at the time,” I told her, realising how stupid the whole fake relationship idea was when said out loud.
She smiled and nodded. “You do whatever you need to. If it helps you move on, you do it. Do not for one minute worry about what other people think or say. I, for one, believe that Chace boy needs to feel a bit of what you felt when he started parading that trollop around in front of you.” I nearly spat my tea everywhere at the way she called Christina a trollop. “If you pretending to be in a relationship makes him suffer, even just a little, I say do it. I’m not above a little revenge—a little payback. Just make sure it’s for the right reasons.”
The right reasons? Were there any right reasons for what we were doing?
I was surprised she accepted what we were doing. It was wrong, deceitful, and childish. We were lying to everyone about our relationship. I was lying to my mother too by not telling her what was going on. She thought Ryder and I were just friends.
“I’m just concerned about why Ryder is using you to make Chace suffer. I know you are using him too, but it’s different with him. You have your reasons for wanting to get back at that boy.” Her lip curled up into a sneer as she mentioned Chace. I tried to suppress a grin. She hated him, and I found it sweet.
“You don’t think I should trust Ryder?” The thought had crossed my mind more than once. I didn’t know enough about Ryder to know whether or not I should trust him and if this thing was just a big joke to make a fool out of me. I was curious as to why he wanted to make Chace suffer as much as I had, if not more.
“No, I think you can trust him. I am positive you already do trust him more than you realise. Just make sure you get the facts and that no one gets hurt, that’s all. There must be an excellent reason for him wanting to do this, too.”
Did I trust him? I didn’t think so. Not in that way. Sure, I trusted him enough not to lure me into a creepy ice cream van and kill me. But trusting him with my feelings even just as a friend? No. How could I trust anyone after what Chace and Christina did? Ryder was always so cryptic about his intentions. Always so mysterious and never talks about himself at all.
“Do you think I’ll ever move on? Be happy again?” I asked, hoping for her honest answer and not knowing what else to say about Ryder.
“You’re already moving on, and I have seen that spark of happiness in your eyes returning over the summer. You just need to stop dwelling on the past, stay as far from that boy and his trollop as possible. If you can do that, you’ll move on before you know it.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Romanov.” I smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before making my way out into the store. She was a lovely woman, and it was nice to be able to discuss my worries and feelings with someone. A spark of happiness returning to my eyes? That wasn’t possible. I was still far from happy.
I came to a sudden stop when I saw him standing in the centre of the room looking around. My breath halted, and my heart started beating erratically in my chest. A crippling pain shot through my core, making me hunch over and put my head between my knees before I collapsed completely.
“Are you okay?” He rushed to my side and wrapped an arm around me. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything except shake my head vigorously. He rubbed a hand up my back, and I couldn’t help but flinch away from his touch. It repulsed me. He repulsed me.
“It’s okay, B. I just wanted to see if you were okay after lunch?” And just like that, with a few simple words, the pain in my chest was replaced by a burning sensation. Burning anger. Rage. That’s what I felt.
“You don’t get to call me that, Chace. You shouldn’t be here.” I hissed at him, trying to control the tremors wracking my body.
“But it’s okay for Ryder to call you that? That’s rubbish. I know how much you hate that name.” His jaw tensed as he stared at me.
“Then why do you insist on using it still? You can’t just leave me alone, can you? Come to dig the knife in a little deeper? Hurt me some more? Well, screw you, Chace. You got what you wanted. Your perfect, fun and outgoing Christina. Leave me alone. I don’t want to speak to you. I don’t want to see you, and I sure as hell don’t want to ever hear you call me B again.” I tried to keep my voice soft and calm, but soon I was yelling. Chace didn’t even look affected by my words.
Mrs. Romanov didn’t come out of the kitchen. She must have been giving us space. I just wanted him to leave. It was too painful having him this close.
“Look, I just want to apologise. I should never have treated you the way I did. I should never have dragged our relationship out so long in the hopes of—”
I cut him off there, not wanting an apology. I didn’t need an apology. I didn’t need anything from him. I was too angry and hurt to forgive him yet, if ever. I heard the bell from the front door opening, but I didn’t care if anyone could hear us anymore. I was so mad at him for having the gall to show up at my work to try to talk to me like he cared.
“So you’re apologising for dragging our relationship out? In the hopes of what, Chace? That the sex would improve? Is that why you hung around so long?” He looked surprised at my words. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again. Ha, I was right. The stupid loser only stayed with me for the last couple of months to see if the sex would get better. That hurt like a knife in the chest. My mind was running a million miles an hour, and I wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying. “Well, guess what, Chace? It did get better. A whole hell of a lot better. Just not with you,” I shouted and watched as his face paled. Way to go, Bailey. Damn it! Why did I just say that?
“You mean, you and…and…you and Ryder?” he stuttered, turning a terrible shade of green. I heard someone clear their throat behind him. Oh God, someone heard that!
“Well, clearly she means me. She did just say the sex got better, didn’t she?” Ryder strolled over, smirking arrogantly. “Your loss, man. She’s ah-maze-ing.” I was sure I heard a giggle coming from the bookcases by the kitchen.
Oh crap! Mrs. Romanov heard that too. My cheeks warmed up. The look on Chace’s face when Ryder confirmed it was priceless. If I weren’t so angry and attempting to hold back tears, I’d have been laughing at him right then.
“Hi, beautiful.” Ryder smiled slightly and dipped his head. He pressed his lips to my cheek and wound his arms around my waist, and for the briefest second, I forgot where I was and who was watching as I relaxed into his arms. Wow. He was good.
“I went to your house, and your mum said you were here, so I thought I’d see if you wanted to get some dinner?” I gripped onto his shirt, holding myself as close to him as I could, and nodded in agreement. I was so mad at Chace and stunned at Ryder showing up that I didn’t even question him about going to my house.
I hadn’t introduced him to my mother yet because that was a big step in a relationship—meeting the family—and we weren’t in a real relationship.
“You can go now,” Ryder said over his shoulder to Chace while also watching me warily, apparently concerned about my reaction since, you know, I’d had about fifty panic attacks that day. Jeez, he must think I’m a nutcase.
“No, we were talking. You can leave. B and I have a few things to discuss. Don’t we, B?” I tensed at the use of that letter. He just didn’t get it. He never did. Ryder looked at me with his eyebrow raised, as if silently asking me if I wanted to talk with Chace. I shook my head and rested it on his chest so he knew I wanted him to stay there with me.
“Okay,” he whispered, giving my waist a small but reassuring squeeze before unwinding his arms and stepping away from me. My eyes burned with tears trying to escape, but I wouldn’t give Chace the satisfaction of seeing me cry over him again.
“Don’t call her B.” Ryder turned and stepped toward Chace. Chace flinched slightly at the venom in Ryder’s voice but squared his shoulders to hide the fact he was obviously intimidated. “I’m not leaving her here with you. You have nothing at all to talk about, so I suggest you leave before I make you.” His voice was low and slow the entire time, sending a chill up my spine. If I had been where Chace was standing, I’d probably have wet myself. Ryder was scary.
“You’ll leave her. You’ll get bored with her soon enough. You know how it is.” Chace’s lip curled up into a sneer, and I let out a small whimper. That hurt. A lot. Was he always such a hurtful person? I got the feeling there was a double meaning behind that comment, but before I could even wrap my head around what Chace had just said, I saw Ryder’s arm pull back and snap forward. A sickening crunch sounded through the store when his fist connected with Chace’s face.
I gasped in shock and rushed over to check that he was okay. Clasping his wrist in my hands, I inspected Ryder’s knuckles for signs of injury, but they looked fine. Not a scratch. Apparently, he knew how to throw a punch. “Are you okay?” I asked him. He nodded slightly, still glaring at Chace.
“Last time, Chace. Don’t come near her again.” Chace was sitting on the floor, groaning in pain with his hands covering his face. Ryder wrapped his arm around my waist and led me toward the door before shouting back over his shoulder. “Sorry, Mrs. R. See you tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry, son. You kids have fun.” Mrs. Romanov came out from behind the bookcase with a big smile on her face before looking at Chace in disgust.
“Don’t get blood on my floor,” she said before returning to the kitchen, showing him no sympathy. We walked outside, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Ryder’s arm around my waist soothed me again. I couldn’t believe he had punched Chace. That was kind of sweet. And a little…sexy?
“You sure you’re okay?” I asked him again, picking up the hand that should be injured.
“Yes, don’t worry. I’ve done this plenty of times before. Do you want to grab some dinner or want me to take you home?” He turned to look at me, a small smile on his lips.
“Dinner, please,” I said, releasing his hand and following him to his car.