My days were filled. I didn’t think I had been this busy ever. Every day I had something to do. It was weird considering I’d always been a loner, even when I was friends with Christina and dating Chace. But it was good. I loved having things to occupy my time. I spent my afternoons at the bookstore and my evenings watching movies with Indie or having dinner at the roadhouse with Ryder. He actually cooked for me again a few nights ago. And he wasn’t lying about his being the best burgers in the state. I could have eaten a second one, it was so good. But then Indie’s warnings over the past week about not eating too much rubbish so we could still fit into our outfits for Chace’s party came back to haunt me, and I refrained from a second helping.
My mother burst through my bedroom door with a scowl on her face, moving straight for my stereo. It was blasting some of her classic nineties rock, which always put me in the mood to party.
“Bailey, sweetheart. I know you love listening to my old music, but do you need to play it so loud? The house is trembling. How can you girls even hear yourselves think?” She was rubbing her temples as she turned to face Indie and me sitting on the floor in front of the mirror playing with my curling iron and hair straightener.
“We don’t need to think, Mrs. M. We are going to a party. We just have to look good,” Indie replied, smiling brightly.
“I know. That’s why I’m up here. Do you need a lift to the party?”
“No, thanks. We’ve got a ride,” I replied, curling the last tendril of hair so that I had long waves cascading down my back.
“Oh good. Is Ryder picking you up?” she asked, failing to hide her smile.
“Yes.” I nodded and lifted my hair, scrunching it into a bun on top of my head while looking in the mirror to see whether it would look better up.
“Things seem to be going well between you,” she commented. “Hair up, sweetheart,” she added, nodding in my direction.
“Ah yeah, things are great. Thanks.”
Indie scoffed and turned her attention back to her hair when I glared at her.
“What, Indie?” my mother asked, amusement tainting her voice.
“Things aren’t just perfect. They are totally in love with each other but don’t realise it.” Indie giggled while I grabbed an elastic and some bobby pins to secure my messy bun in place.
“There.” I smiled, satisfied with how it looked before turning to Indie.
“We are not.”
“I didn’t know things were that serious between you guys.” My mother looked at me with a small frown. “I thought you’d only just started dating.” Confusion replaced her frown while I tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t give away the fact we weren’t even in a relationship.
“Ah well. They have, but it’s been a long time coming. They’ve been hanging out as friends, and I’m just teasing her, Mrs. M. I’m just happy she’s finally over Chace.” Indie stepped in, realising that my mother knew nothing. I smiled gratefully at her.
“Speaking of Chace,” I said, “we need to finish getting ready for his party or Ryder will be waiting forever.”
“Ryder’s not here yet.” Indie looked at me like I was crazy.
“Yes, he is.” I smiled, and right on cue, the doorbell rang. Both Indie and my mother looked at me questioningly.
“I heard his car.” I shrugged and added a swipe of mascara to my kohl-lined eyes.
“I’ll get it,” Indie announced, jumping up from her position on the floor beside me and bouncing out of the room.
“You’re going to a party at Chace’s house?” my mother asked as soon as Indie could be heard running down the stairs. “Is that wise?”
“It’s just a party. He has one every year. The whole senior class will be there. It’s fine. I’m over him.” I stood and walked over to her, placing my hands on her shoulders.
“So why are you going?” she asked.
“I promised to introduce Indie to a friend of Ryder’s,” I said before picking up my bright orange skirt and black sleeveless shirt. “I need to get dressed now, though,” I told my mother so she would leave.
“Okay, I’ll wait downstairs with Ryder and send Indie back up. Just be careful tonight, all right?” She kissed my forehead and left me to get dressed. I was just tucking my shirt into the high waist of my skirt when Indie fell through the door.
“What did you do?” I laughed at her.
“I fell. I was running too fast and miscalculated the distance it would take me to stop.” She laughed and pulled her shirt off over her head so she could put on her party outfit too. “You need a belt,” she told me as she slid her shorts on. I grabbed a thick black belt with a large silver buckle from my closet and secured it around my waist before pushing my new cut-out black ankle boots on. I turned to see Indie pulling her oversized knitted sweater on. As soon as her shoes were on, we were ready to go.
I started feeling nervous as we descended the stairs. When I left Ryder’s on my birthday, things were a little strained. I felt like there was so much we’d left unresolved. I’d come home more confused than before. I still didn’t know what he was thinking or feeling or if he felt anything like Indie believed. But he knew about my birthday, and each time we kissed, he would stop it, making up some excuse about not wanting me to be one of those girls. But then it would only last a short while before we would begin making out again. I guess I’d just have to wait and see how things panned out.
We stepped into the living room, where my mother was happily chatting away to Ryder. They were laughing at something, but both suddenly became quiet when they realised we were there. Ryder’s mouth popped open, and his eyes went wide as my mother rushed over to us.
“Oh girls, you look lovely. I love the new outfits. Perfect for your party.”
“Thanks, Mrs. M.” Indie grinned and did a little spin that I barely noticed because I was too focused on Ryder, who was walking slowly toward me in his skinny jeans and button-up white shirt that was only buttoned halfway, revealing his toned chest. He was pinching his bottom lip between his fingers while his eyes travelled up and down my body. So hot.
“You look beautiful, Bailey,” he whispered when he stopped in front of me, grasping my hip with one hand and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. That action alone, which he had done numerous times before, made my knees go weak, and I stumbled slightly. A movement that did not go unnoticed by anyone in the room. Avoiding their gazes and smirks, I put my head down. I could feel a blush creeping onto my cheeks.
“Ready?” Ryder asked, taking my hand in his and smiling at my charm bracelet when I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. My mother’s eyes flickered to our joined hands for a minute before a grin spread across her face.
“Have fun, you three,” she said as she walked us to the door.
“Bye, Mrs. M. Don’t wait up.” Indie winked.
“Bye, Mrs. Mitchell.” Ryder smiled at her. I could have sworn I saw her swoon before she pulled me away from his grasp so she could whisper in my ear.
“Be safe, sweetheart.” She discreetly nodded in Ryder’s direction and wiggled her eyebrows at me. My eyes widened, and my mouth dropped open in shock when I realised the meaning of her words. I mean, I knew she was relaxed with rules and stuff but…
“What? No, not even…it’s not…” I shook my head at her, still surprised by what she had said. “Just no.”
“Oh, well, I’m happy you’re taking it slow but really? How much longer can you resist that?” She tried hiding her smile behind her hand as she shrugged at me. I glanced at Ryder, who was waiting on the bottom step for me. I hoped he couldn’t hear what she was saying.
“Oh my God!” I slapped my forehead. “I can’t believe you said that.” I started laughing at how incredibly abnormal my mother was. How many other girl’s parents would imply their teenage daughters should be having sex with their pierced and tattooed boyfriends? None. That’s how many. There was something wrong with my mother. I would need to have a chat with her.
“Hey, I was young once too. Though I didn’t know any boys that looked like Ryder. All I’m saying is that I can’t stop you. You’re old enough to make your own decisions, but just be careful, okay?” she said seriously.
“Goodbye, Mother,” I said firmly, kissing her cheek and walking out the door, not wanting to acknowledge that extremely uncomfortable conversation.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She laughed and waved us off.
“What was that about?” Indie asked when I slid into the front seat beside Ryder.
“Uhm, nothing. Just her being her.” I could feel the blood rushing to my face in embarrassment. I was relieved when Indie just shrugged and started singing along to the radio, not questioning me any further. I turned to Ryder, who was silent. I noticed he had a death grip on the steering wheel, and his jaw was clenched tight. Something was wrong with him.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he replied, his voice clipped and short. Something was wrong.
Feeling confident, I reached out and placed my hand on his knee but quickly pulled it back when he glanced down at it then looked away. Maybe he didn’t want me to touch him, although I wasn’t sure why. He always held my hand while driving, so either me or something else was bothering him.
“You sure? You seem kin—”
“Yes, Bailey. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong.” He cut me off and turned the music up, putting an end to any chance of a conversation we might have had.
Sighing in defeat, I turned and looked out the window to try to figure out what could have happened in the past few minutes to make him so mad. He seemed fine at the house when he told me I looked beautiful before me kissing me. He even took my hand to lead me. Something must have happened while I was talking with my mother.
Ryder parked his car on the street just a little way down from Chace’s house and got out. Indie and I practically had to run to catch up with him as he made his way to the party without waiting for us.
“What’s up with him?” Indie whispered in my ear as we rushed down the street after him.
“I wish I knew.”
His shoulders were tense, and his hands were shoved in his pockets like he was closing himself off from everyone. I started to wonder whether he was having second thoughts about this whole fake relationship. Maybe he was sick of me. Or maybe he was missing being able to sleep around like he used to. This was probably the longest he’d ever gone without sex, and it was probably getting to him now.
I cautiously reached out and linked my arm through his. I was relieved that he didn’t pull away, but at the same time, I was disappointed that he didn’t make a move to touch me at all. He just kept his hands in his pockets.
Ryder pushed the door open and gestured for Indie and me to walk in first. I followed Indie, who immediately pushed her way through the people crowding around the entrance to the living room.
“I’m getting a drink. You want one?” Ryder asked us.
“Coke, please.” I smiled at him.
“Coke?” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”
“Yes, Coke.” I didn’t feel like drinking anymore. In fact, with Ryder being in whatever mood he was in, I just wanted to go home. He nodded and frowned slightly before turning to Indie, who asked for a beer. I was a little caught off guard when a few of the girls that I used to be friends with came over and started talking to us, complimenting our outfits and hair. It was weird. I hadn’t spoken a word to these girls in months. They were all still friends with Chace and Christina.
Ryder returned a few minutes later with Jayden following behind him. The girls quickly disappeared. I didn’t even realise Jayden was there yet, but I immediately greeted him before turning to Ryder and accepting my drink.
“Jayden, meet Indie.” Ryder pointed at Indie, who was staring with a shy smile on her lips.
“Hi,” they both said at the same time and started laughing. Yeah, these two were going to get along great. They were already making eyes at each other. I looked at Ryder when Indie and Jayden started having their own conversation. He was leaning against the wall typing on his phone.
“Wanna dance?” I asked hopefully, gesturing towards the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living room. I needed to get him to do something to talk me—or anything.
“No.”
“Wanna go for a walk?”
“No.”
“Sit outside? Skinny dip? Play strip poker? Anything?”
“No, I’m fine.” He rolled his eyes. “Just have fun with Indie.”
“Well, I would, but she’s off having fun with Jayden on the dance floor,” I hissed at him. He was making me angry now. It was his idea to come to this stupid party where I only talked to him, Indie, and Jayden and now he was ignoring me. Ryder’s eyes widened briefly as he looked up from his phone, scanning the room until he saw Indie and Jayden dancing together.
“Nice, Jayden,” he muttered with a small smile on his perfect lips before turning back to his phone.
“You know what? Fine. I’m going.” I threw my hands in the air dramatically as I turned and began pushing my way through the crowd. I could feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes, and I hoped like hell I didn’t run into Chace or Christina right then. I finally made my way to the door and outside. The fresh air was welcome on my skin after being in the crowded house full of hot sweaty bodies.
I knew I shouldn’t be upset at Ryder for being like this. There was obviously something bothering him, but it still hurt that he’d dragged me to this party and then practically ignored me since we left my house. I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong. Dammit! None of this would have bothered me a couple of weeks ago. I was blissfully ignorant of my feelings for him, and now look what they had done to me. This was such a mess. I was finally starting to feel happy again, but now I felt like crying—all because Ryder freaking Jones didn’t want to dance.
That was not good. A revenge relationship was such a bad idea.
“Bailey.” I heard him call out from the front yard, realising that I’d begun walking down the street. “Bailey, wait,” he called again.
I didn’t want to wait. I just wanted to go home and be left alone with my misery. I needed to end it. I needed to finish it right then. If I didn’t, I knew I would be left heartbroken later down the track, and it would be so much worse than Chace. I knew my feelings for Ryder were different from the feelings I’d had for Chace, and this fake relationship could only end badly for me. Best to do it soon before it got any harder.
“Bailey, please stop. Where are you going?” I stopped and turned to face him. He reached out to touch me but hesitated. Instead, he ran his hands through his hair and put them back in his pockets.
“Home, Ryder. I’m going home.” I blinked back the tears that were threatening to escape. I couldn’t let him see me crying over him.
“Why? We just got here.” He had no idea. He didn’t know that I was afraid of losing him, that I was upset because he was acting weird, and that I liked him.
“Why don’t you go back inside and continue ignoring everyone while you text on your phone? I’m not going back in there to stand around by myself.” I turned and kept walking down the street. Feelings suck.
“I don’t know what your damn problem is all of a sudden, Bailey, but snap out of it and get back inside the house. You can’t walk home alone, and I’m not leaving yet.” His words were harsh, but his voice was gentle and soothing. He was such a complicated person.
“You, Ryder. You’re my problem. You’ve barely said five words to me since we left home. You won’t look at me or come near me. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, and I don’t care now. This was a bad idea,” I shouted.
“What was a bad idea? Coming to the party? Fine. You want to go? Let’s go.” Ryder grabbed my arm, finally touching me, and turned me around, dragging me back toward his car.
“Ryder, let me go.” I shrugged his hand off me. He stopped and kicked the fence in Chace’s front yard.
“What, Bailey? What do you want? Damnit. I’m so confused right now.” What was he confused about? He was the one confusing one.
“You’re confused? What about how confused I am? I have no idea what I did to you to make you ignore me tonight.”
“I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have been ignoring you, but it was just easier than dealing with…” He stopped talking and looked away from me. “Please, Bailey, can we go inside?”
“No. It was easier than dealing with what, Ryder? What don’t you want to deal with?” Can’t deal with me? He wanted to end it. I knew it.
“Nothing. Just forget it.” He shook his head and scuffed his shoes on the ground.
“Okay, well, maybe we should just stop this, Ryder. End it. If you’re finding it too hard to deal with whatever you won’t tell me and I’m falli…I’m, I…Let’s just end it now. Fake break up and whatever.” I closed my eyes and turned away so he couldn’t see me crying because it felt so much like a real breakup, not a fake one.
“What? No, Bailey. Why would you even suggest that?” He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him. “I don’t want to fake break up with you.”
“See, Ryder. I’m so confused. I don’t know what you want. You can’t deal with me, so why bother continuing?” I was trying to make a clean break, but he was still trying to hold on. Why wouldn’t he let me go? He could go back to his normal life, and I could go back to…well, I could go back to the bookstore.
“I heard you talking to your mother,” he murmured. “That’s why I’m…I don’t know…”
“What? Ryder, what are you talking—”
“Damnit!” he shouted, pulling his hair before suddenly grabbing my face between his hands and slamming his mouth to mine.
***
When Ryder and I returned to Chace’s house after our fight, we went looking for Indie and Jayden and found them outside by the pool with a few other people from school. Indie was well on the way to trashed. I wasn’t sure how much she’d already had to drink, but she needed to slow down. She seemed in good spirits, though, laughing with the group of friends we used to hang around with—Jayden by her side.
I hadn’t spoken to anyone since Chace and I broke up, and Indie had stopped talking to everyone once she became my friend again, so I didn’t know what to think as we approached the small group sitting with them.
“Hey, Bailey, Ryder. How’s it going?” Greg was the first to speak to us, followed by Tom, Lizzie, and Anna. It was strange. They just included Ryder and me in their conversation like the few months hadn’t happened and like Ryder was always part of their in-group.
I was uncomfortable and didn’t know if it was a plan set up by Christina to do something to me. It wouldn’t have surprised me if it was. She had been glaring at me all night. But Ryder never left my side, always touching me in some way, keeping me calm like he always did. He even made Jayden go in and get us drinks as we sat around talking and laughing.
Unfortunately for Indie, Jayden made his excuses and left early. Something about a family commitment in the morning. I could tell how disappointed she was that he had to leave, but the look of excitement on her face when he asked for her number was priceless.
I finally started to relax when I realised that those guys were not going to bring up my breakup with Chace or mine and Ryder’s relationship. It was not something I wanted to discuss. However, the next thing I knew, a cold, sticky liquid was being poured down my back.
“Oops, sorry. Didn’t see you there.” I turned to see Christina standing behind me with her margarita glass tipped in her hand. She’d poured her drink over me. The stupid bitch.
“What is your problem?” I stood up and faced Christina, knocking her glass out of her hand.
“Ooh, bitch fight.” I heard Indie giggle into her beer. And then, before I knew it, punches were thrown, nails were scratching, and hair was being pulled. We were rolling around on the ground trying to beat the crap out of each other until Ryder had the sense to pull me off her and drag me inside kicking and screaming. All the hurt and anger I had been feeling toward Christina had just exploded out of me.
“That stupid bitch. I’m going to kill her. Let me go, Ryder.” I screamed and struggled out of his arms until he finally got me into the bathroom.
“Calm down, love. It’ll be okay. Relax. Don’t worry about her. She’s not worth it.” Ryder’s voice was soft and slow while he attempted to calm me down. He brushed the hair out of my face and lifted me up so I was sitting on the counter.
“Okay, better?” he asked while pulling out a washcloth and wetting it under the tap.
I nodded and looked in the mirror. “Look at me. I’m a mess. My top is ruined. That stupid fuc—” I stopped talking when Ryder threaded his fingers into my hair and pressed his lips to mine, stepping in between my legs.
“That fight was so freaking hot,” he mumbled against my mouth.
“Yeah?”
“You got in some good hits.” He stepped back and began rubbing the washcloth over my face and kissing me again. His lips followed the trail of the fabric, kissing every inch of skin on my neck and shoulders as he washed away all traces of dirt and margarita. And that was when things got a little out of control.
My legs were wrapped around Ryder’s waist. I made him groan as I brought my lips down to his again. I slid my tongue into his mouth. My hands were roaming everywhere—pulling on his hair, cupping his face, tracing his chest, unbuttoning his shirt—I couldn’t get enough of him, and it seemed he felt the same way. I just wanted him as close as possible. My shirt ended up on the floor in a sticky pile as Ryder wet the cloth again and continued washing my skin, my back, my chest, and my stomach, never once breaking our kiss unless it was to pepper kisses along my chest or down my stomach.
It was the hottest sponge bath I could have ever imagined. So hot, in fact, that neither of us noticed when the bathroom door opened.
“What the hell?” Chace’s voice interrupted us, and we pulled away, breathing heavily. I closed my eyes and wished for Chace to leave. But he didn’t. Instead, he stepped into the bathroom with us and started calling me names and demanding to know what we were doing.
A crowd of people began to gather outside the door ready to see another fight while I tried to cover the fact I was only wearing a bra and skirt and had my legs wrapped around a shirtless Ryder. Not an image I wanted half the senior class to see.
Ryder reached over for a towel and handed it to me so I could wrap it around myself while Chace continued his tirade, calling me a slut, a whore, easy, desperate, pathetic—and those were the nice names. Ryder turned and told him to shut his mouth or he’d regret it, but Chace continued, and that was how that fight started.
Ryder shoved Chace out the bathroom door and pushed him into the spectating crowd of students, who shoved him back at Ryder. Punches were thrown again. Chace tackled Ryder and knocked him down to the ground, but somehow, I couldn’t quite see from where I was in the bathroom, Ryder managed to get out from Chace’s grip and pin him to the ground. Not wanting to put a sticky margarita-soaked top back on, I hurriedly threw Ryder’s shirt on over my bra and pushed my way through the crowd until I got to the fight. I watched Ryder throw a couple of punches before kneeling down beside Chace’s head.
“Jones, baby, calm down, that’s enough. He’s had enough.” Ryder stopped throwing punches instantly and looked up at me.
“You sure?” he asked.
“Yeah.” I laughed and stood up, pulling him with me.
We made our way back downstairs and into the backyard, where Indie was chugging a beer.
“Hey, we’re heading off. You coming?” I asked her. She shook her head.
“Nah, I’m going to hang here a bit longer.” I didn’t like the idea of leaving her at the party alone when she was so drunk, but no matter how much I tried to convince her to come with us, she wouldn’t. The only thing stopping me from full-on panicking was that she was at least with Greg and Lizzie, and I couldn’t imagine them letting her get into too much trouble.