Chapter Five – Vanessa
Taliga had found a river some time ago and had made them walk down it for what felt like hours. Every so often, he would break off and move through the grassy forest around them, presumably to create false trails. Every time he did this, he told Vanessa to stop for nothing and to just continue downstream.
By the time he said that they could stop to rest, Vanessa's feet felt like blocks of ice, and her head was drooping against her chest as she stumbled over the sandy bottom of the river. The adrenaline had worn off long ago. She wasn't sure how much further she could go.
"Here we go."
Taliga pulled some fallen tree branches over the entrance of the cave that had eroded out of the bank of the river. If she wasn't so tired, Vanessa would have hoped that it wouldn't collapse in on them. She wasn't sure she'd care at this moment, though.
The T'shav sat beside her. "In this darkness, they won't be able to see anything amiss, even if they bring lights. If they have thermal imaging, we might be in trouble, but since Kulog blew up our ship, I know they don’t have access to our equipment. I don't think Wytsians collect much technology, either."
"My feet are freezing. I'm going to lose my toes to frostbite."
"You're alive, aren't you? And if you lose your toes, you can have bionic replacements."
Vanessa sniffled. She knew she should be more grateful that he was saving her life, but he was the one that put her in danger in the first place. Besides, the only reason he was saving her was to get more money.
Taliga wrapped his arms around her, fumbling at the knot he'd made in the tattered remains of her skirt. "Give me your feet."
She obeyed, shivering. He pulled off her shoes – flats, made from a nanite material to conform to the shape of her foot, offering little protection – and tore the strip of cloth in half. He dried each foot before binding it in the cloth. They were still cold, but warmer than they had been. Taliga pulled her close to him.
"We'll have to share body heat," he said. "Hope you're not shy."
Vanessa shook her head mutely. His body was so warm she wished she could wrap herself in it. Weariness dropped heavily in her eyes, but as she inhaled the T'shav's oddly sweet scent, a different sort of heat flared in her. It settled in her core, sending tendrils up and down her body. She shivered again, for an entirely different reason. Even now, she was feeling drawn to him, wanting him.
"Are you…" she hesitated.
"Am I what?"
"On your musth."
There was a moment of silence, then Taliga tucked her even closer to himself. "No."
"How can I be certain?"
"I don't suppose you can be. There are certain indications that a T'shav male is in his musth, but if I was in the early stages, only a trained eye would be able to see the physical differences. Not that the earliest stages really affect females that much."
"That's not very comforting."
"If I was in musth, we'd be dead right now."
Vanessa laid her head on his chest. His heart beat strong and steady. It was a soothing sound. "Why do you say that?"
"Because the fighting instincts are very strong during musth. If I was in it, then grabbing you and running wouldn't have occurred to me. I would have tried to kill Kulog and all those priests. And that would have ended with me dead, and you would have hopefully gotten caught in the crossfire…"
He gripped her thigh unexpectedly, making her gasp. He guided her leg between his, adjusting his calves to enclose her foot. The warmth made her sigh as her tense muscles relaxed.
"That's not true," Taliga murmured. "I'd have killed you myself the moment I knew that I was going to lose. I should never have taken this stupid job. I knew what it would entail. And I don't think I would be able to turn you over to those zealots, even if…"
Vanessa's fingers began unconsciously tracing the contours of his muscles. "Even if what?"
"Even if I wasn't so drawn to you. I don't know what it is about you, but I have never been so angry in my life as when those priests said that they were going to kill you. Priests. More like cult leaders. Something that preaches such hatred shouldn’t be considered a religion."
Vanessa rose her head. As much as she would like an ecclesiastical discussion, that wasn't what was drawing her attention. "You're drawn to me? In what way?"
There was another silence. When Taliga spoke again, his voice was low and husky. "From your question about my musth, I imagine it's the same way you're drawn to me. Ever since we picked you up, I've wanted to… Well, I won't get graphic. But it's not all sexual. I've felt protective of you."
Was he just saying that? Vanessa tried to infuse her voice with as much doubt as possible. "Why?"
"Maybe it's because Kulog is entering his musth, and there is a natural defensive response by other males when they're around a warrior entering musth."
"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself."
"Maybe. But… I've never heard of another man's musth making a woman desire a male who isn't in his musth…"
Vanessa felt something stir inside of her. Before she was really aware of what she was doing, she had lifted her hands, seeking out Taliga's face in the darkness. When she found him, she pushed herself up and pressed a kiss to his mouth. At least, she tried. Since she couldn't actually see him, she missed and ended up on one side of his nose. She decided to just roll with it, ghosting her lips down to his.
Taliga's hands rested gently on her hips. As she teased his mouth open, he shifted her, bringing her over him. Her ripped skirt rode up on her thighs as she straddled him, surprised by her own actions and the building heat in her core. The T'shav's kiss became more insistent, his arms wrapping around her. He pulled her tight against him, making the heat already inside snap and sway. Vanessa couldn't stop herself from moaning. When one of his hands moved to her breast, her small cross pendant popped out of her cleavage and dangled from her neck.
What was she doing? This was completely the wrong time and the wrong man! It had to be because of adrenaline. They were on the run, they didn't have time to… do this.
Taliga's hand continued to massage her breast, the other working under her skirt. Vanessa pulled away, grabbing both hands and pulling them away from her body. "No."
"No?" The surprise in his voice made it clear he didn't hear the word very often. At least not in situations like this.
Vanessa rolled off him. She pulled her skirt lower, trying to cover as much of her legs as possible, and tucked her cross back into her cleavage. If it hadn't popped out, would she have stopped him? Of course she would have… It wasn't like she could just make love with a man she barely knew. She tried to pull away from him, but he held her tight.
"We have to share body heat. Nothing more, I promise."
"Okay."
Vanessa settled back down beside him. Her body ached to continue what they had been doing, her weariness almost completely gone with the surge of hormones that had accompanied it. She sucked in a deep breath. There was no use in thinking about it. No matter how much her lips tingled to taste his again, she wasn't going to give in.
"Did you stop because you think I'm in musth?"
The question genuinely surprised her. "No."
"Then why?"
"A bunch of reasons. For one thing, you kidnapped me. Even if you are rescuing me right now, you still kidnapped me in the first place. And you killed that priest when he tried to save me. So, I shouldn't even be feeling this in the first place."
"I didn't kill him. The gun was set to stun. Kulog's too. Our cover story was that we were sent from another parish so you could lead our rites, and if we have killed anybody that would have been impossible to convince the authorities of our story."
A rush of relief came over her. She fought it down. How could she believe that he was telling her the truth? But she did believe him… she wanted to think that he was a good person beneath the ruthless mercenary. After all, he was rescuing her…
"That's not all," she whispered. "Why I stopped."
"You don't have to give me reasons, Vanessa. It's best if we rest, anyway. I don't know if we'll get any sort of daybreak here, but if we do it'll be easier for Kulog to track us. We have to be strong for whatever comes our way next."
Vanessa propped herself onto her elbow. All of her other reasons were just excuses. It was the necklace that made her stop what she had been doing. And she wanted Taliga to understand her reasons. "But I want to tell you. The humans at the Sanctuary, they all seem to go one of two ways when it comes to human religions. Either they reject them outright or become almost fanatical about clinging to their beliefs. I'm caught somewhere in the middle. I don't know what to think. But…"
Taliga was quiet.
"I was raised in a fairly religious household. I was always taught that marriage comes before sex. And no matter how much I've rebelled over the years… it feels like the last thing I can cling to. This necklace is the last relic I have of my old life, but that teaching… Maybe it's silly, but I feel like it's the last thing I can do to honor my parents and the way they raised me. To wait until marriage before I have sex."
Taliga tugged her back down so she was laying. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "It's not silly. If I were in your position… I don't know what I could cling to. But it's not silly. Now try to rest. We need our strength for tomorrow – or at least what counts as tomorrow."
Vanessa put her head down, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She smiled as she snuggled closer to the warm T'shav. His acceptance of her decision was all she needed at the moment. With his body giving her warmth, she drifted easily off to sleep.