Chapter Nine – Vanessa
Vanessa wrapped her arms around herself, not looking at Taliga as he knelt beside her. Why? Why was he doing this? Any of this? Why turn against his partner to try to save her from being turned over to these people? Why fight so hard to save her? Why marry her so he could take her place as the sacrifice?
Why be willing to die for her?
"Vanessa, I'm sorry I lied to you," Taliga said softly. "But it's the only way I can save you."
"So the whole possibly-pregnant thing was a complete lie?"
"Yes."
She shivered despite how warm the room was.
"I'm dead either way," the T'shav said gently. "But I have the chance to save you, and I am going to take it. I'm the reason you're in this predicament in the first place. If I hadn't kidnapped you, you would still be safe in Zon's Sanctuary. It's my responsibility to do what I can to get you out of this mess. And I swear, I will give my life to get you home."
At last, Vanessa raised her head. She stared into Taliga's black eyes and made her voice cold when she asked the question that was weighing most heavily on her mind. "When you told the priest that I was your Starmate, was it a lie as well?"
She knew what Starmates were, of course. Living among the T'shav, it was impossible not to know. The T'shav believed that their souls were born in stars and that these souls were put into physical bodies over and over again until the star learned all it needed. Starmates were two souls born in the same star, destined to always find each other and be together in all their lives. A romantic notion, if ever there was one.
Taliga opened his mouth, but suddenly Vanessa didn't want to hear the answer. Whatever it was, whether the truth or a lie, it didn't matter. It didn't change the situation. They were still prisoners, and one way or another, he was going to die when they reached Earth.
And before he died, there was something she wanted to do.
Before Taliga could say anything, she launched herself at him. Her arms wrapped around his neck. The T'shav barely had enough time to catch her before she kissed him hard. All the feelings she had been trying to suppress were let loose in a flooding torrent, leaving her gasping for breath. Part of her brain said that this wasn't the time or place, but if not here, where? If not now, when?
Taliga kissed her back, his hands digging into her soft skin as he pulled her closer. He closed his eyes, teasing her mouth open – and abruptly pulled away.
"Wait," he gasped. "You don't really want this. You were saving yourself—"
"For marriage. And we're married." Vanessa stroked his black hair from his face and straddled his hips, letting her skirt ride up. "And even if we weren't, I want this. I want to be close to you, to have you fill me. If your plan does work, and I live… you'll die. If that happens, I want this to remember you by. I don't mean to be morbid, I just—"
He cut her off with another kiss. Maybe he was feeling the same desperation as she was. He pulled her closer, their skin sticking together with the sweat that already covered their bodies. There was no time to explore one another and learn the secrets of each other's bodies. But Vanessa didn't really care. His touch was enough. The feeling of his strength as she wrapped herself in his arms was better than she had ever expected.
Taliga reached under her skirt, gently removing her underwear while keeping her covered. Their eyes locked on each other as he moved his hand between her thighs, narrowing in on the spot that filled her body with fire. She gasped, arching her back to him while still clinging to his body. Their mouths met, their tongues danced, and Vanessa knew that she wouldn't trade this moment for any other.
"Take me," she whispered.
"You're not ready. I'll hurt you."
"I know." Vanessa dug her fingers into his hair. "But I can't wait any longer. Please, Taliga. I don't care if it hurts."
The T'shav hesitated. "Give me a little more time to stretch you out with my hand."
He demonstrated, and Vanessa gave in with a groan. Her head fell back as her hips came up. Taliga's face was set in determination, his black eyes almost glowing as he worked on her. The buildup was quick, and Vanessa writhed under his touch, clawing at the floor as she tried to keep herself still. Her lover and husband never took his eyes off her face, even when he shifted his clothing aside and entered slowly.
It hurt a little as he entered. The sting faded away when he stilled, though it was a little uncomfortable. But as Taliga started a slow, steady rhythm, Vanessa forgot her discomfort. She lifted her hips, trying to encourage him to go faster, but he didn't. He kept that same slow rhythm, wrapping his arms around her and still staring her in the eyes.
Vanessa didn't know how long she could take but knew that she didn't want this to end. Ever. A feeling of connection welled in her, and as she held Taliga and they stared into each other's eyes, she couldn't help but wonder if this was what her mother always meant when she meant husband and wife were meant to become one soul.
She truly felt like she was holding Taliga's soul in her body at that moment.
Taliga's face twisted in concentration, but all too soon he gasped, body bucking, and his head dropped to her shoulder. He became still, finished. Vanessa didn't mind that she didn't follow him, and only held him tighter when he whispered that he was sorry.
"Don't be." She ran her fingers over his skin, reveling in their closeness, although she knew it was too hot to last very long. "I still enjoyed it. I never expected my first time to be that good, if I'm honest. I thought it would hurt a lot more."
Taliga smiled sadly at her. "I could have made it hurt even less if I had taken more time."
"I didn't want you to take more time."
It stung a little as he withdrew, and he grabbed one of the scraps of cloth they still had to clean her up a little. Vanessa couldn’t help but smile at him. For a mercenary and kidnapper, he had a surprisingly gentle soul. At least, he did as far as she was concerned. She only wished that she would be able to see more of it. That their time together wasn't going to be cut short by a man who had no right to call himself a priest.
"Can I answer your question now?" he asked softly when he laid down beside her.
"What question?"
"Whether I was telling the truth when I told that priest you were my Starmate." His fingers caressed her neck, making her shiver. "Although I have to admit that I'm curious as to why you would ask me such a question if you didn't want to hear the answer."
Vanessa shrugged. "I didn't know that I didn't want to hear it until after I asked. I was afraid that no matter what you said, I wouldn't have the guts to do what we just did. But I'm glad we did. I don't want you to think it's just because we might die, even though it is partly that, but there's more to it as well. I just… I wanted to be close to you. Especially now that we're married."
"That reminds me." He snatched something off the floor and handed it to her.
Vanessa pushed herself to her elbow and took a closer look. It was her necklace. The symbol of their wedding vows. She shook her head. "I want you to keep it."
Surprise flitted across Taliga's face. "But it's the last thing you have from Earth."
"We're heading there right now. Either we're both going to die or you are. I want you to keep it. It's my marriage gift to you. If I take it back, it's like our marriage wasn't real. And I know this is less than ideal circumstances, but I don't want to think of our marriage as fake. Please. Keep it."
Taliga nodded. He looped the chain over his head. The delicate little cross looked so strange with his broad chest and devil-red skin. "And as for your question… at this point, I don't know. Whether you are my Starmate or not, I mean. I could stay that I've never felt this way about a woman before, and I haven’t felt exactly this way, but I have been in love. Her name was Edala."
Vanessa was surprised as a surge of jealousy took her. Mutely, she nodded for him to continue, not about to break the moment with her petty thoughts.
"I met her many years ago. I loved her, and I thought that she loved me. We traveled the galaxy together, stealing what we needed to move from place to place, and I had never been happier… until she stabbed me in the back." He touched a long, thin scar just above his heart. "I still don't know exactly why she did it. The best I can figure is that she didn't want to share our earnings with me anymore. She left me for dead. And I would have died, too, except… Well, Kulog found me. He knew my reputation and decided to take a chance on me. He healed me and I was thus upgraded from petty thief to full-on mercenary. I suppose that's why I stopped myself from killing him for so long."
Taliga's voice sagged with bitterness. Vanessa put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You can't be angry at yourself for not killing your partner."
"I should have. I knew what he was; I saw what he did. I should have killed him long ago. But I didn't have the strength. Not until I met you."
Vanessa shifted closer. Taliga cupped her face and they leaned towards each other. Before they could kiss, however, the door was flung open. The priest stood in the doorway, the black blade in his hand. Vanessa's heart dropped and every happy thought she had had turned to ice.
"We arrived."