“Okay Hayden, I’m going to need you to push with this next contraction. You’re close. I need you to bear down and not stop until the contraction ends. Can you do that for me?” the doctor asks.

Jesus. Fuck. How long does delivering a baby take? It was never like this with Jan. But then, with Jan, I wasn’t there. I was in the waiting room with my brothers. She didn’t want me with her and I was okay with that. We didn’t exactly like each other. Hayden is different. This is slowly killing me. I can’t stand to see her in pain, and we’ve been going at this for motherfucking hours. She’s so tired, I can see it written all over her.

“I’ll try,” she gasps out. “I feel it.”

“Push, Hayden. Push!” the doctor urges. I support her back and she squeezes my hand tightly. I feel so fucking useless.

“You got this, Hayden. I know you can do it, sweetheart. Push hard,” I encourage her, feeling completely lost.

“I’m trying!” she cries, ending the word in a growl that is so loud it hurts my ears. The contraction subsides and she sits back.

“I know you are Beauty, I know you are,” I tell her kissing her head.

“Good job, Hayden. Your baby is crowning. This next contraction push.”

“Oh God, I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispers guiltily.

“You can. You’re going to push and then we’re going to hold Maggie in our arms and we’re going to give her everything good in this world,” I murmur close to her. Her hand flexes in mine. She’s yet to let go of me and I like that…Fuck no…I love that.

“I’m so tired Michael. Oh God, it’s coming again.”

“Push, Hayden!” the doctor orders.

“Michael,” she whispers frantically.

“I’m right here, Beauty. I’m right here. Push out our little girl. You can do this. You’re the strongest woman I know,” I urge her again, and I’m not lying. She is. She absolutely is. Her hand bites into mine, she pulls herself up by it and immediately I hold her back. Her fingernails dig into the skin so tight I have to wonder if she draws blood.

She pushes so hard I shake, because I know the pain has to be intense, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. She screams out my name. Mine. She screams out my name as she brings Maggie into this world. The reality of that weighs down on me and it pushes deep inside of me, into the dark spots of my soul that have been scarred and eaten up with hate and misery. We hear the baby crying and I slowly let Hayden fall back against the pillows. She’s crying and I do my best to kiss her forehead and praise her. She’s amazing.

“You want to cut the cord, Daddy?” the doctor asks unexpectedly. It feels like someone slapped me. I look at Hayden and she’s crying through her tears, but she’s smiling.

“Our daughter needs you now, Michael,” she whispers and Jesus. Fucking hell. I’m turning into a weepy old woman, because I feel tears in my eyes. I squeeze her hand and then go over to the doctor. The nurse helps and holds the cord while I take the silver scissors she hands me and cut the cord. I look down at the baby and all I see is perfection. A dark thatch of hair crowns the perfect head, but that’s not what catches my eye the most.

“How is she, Michael? Is she beautiful?” Hayden asks, anxiously and before I can answer I have to clear my throat.

“Beautiful, sweetheart. There’s just…well there’s one problem,” I tell her walking back to her as the nurses bring the child on the other side of Hayden. One releases Hayden’s gown, revealing her breasts to the world. I grunt in displeasure, despite the doctor seeing so much of my woman, I’m not crazy it keeps happening. The other nurse lays the baby against Hayden’s chest.

“We’ll clean her up in a second. The doctor likes to let the mom and baby connect skin to skin for a minute as long as the child is doing good.

“Oh my God!” Hayden explains, big sloppy tears falling from those beautiful gray eyes. “She’s perfect, Michael! She’s beautiful” Hayden cries, her hand going slowly over the baby’s head.

“She is,” I agree quietly, choked with emotion. She has no idea I’m talking about her. I don’t know how to articulate it. I just know Hayden is without a doubt the single most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. Inside and out. “There’s just one problem,” I reiterate. The nurse comes to claim the baby for evaluating and cleaning. Hayden’s eyes follow them, so I clear my throat. “Hayden, honey. We have a problem.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“You’re going to need to pick a new name.”

“Why’s that?” she asks, confused and I can’t believe she hasn’t noticed yet.

“She’s a he, sweetheart. We have a baby boy,” I tell her with a smile and the grin only gets bigger when Hayden’s mouth drops open. She looks at me and then back at where the nurses are working on the baby.

“And a damn fine baby boy at that, Ms. Graham,” the doctor interrupts. “We knew for a while, but you kept insisting you didn’t want to know, and well…” he shrugs. “But he’s healthy and the nurses will have him cleaned up and give him back to you soon. I have another delivery, but I’ll be back to check on you,” he says and I’m busy arranging Hayden’s gown back on her to cover her up. Fucking nurses just left her like that.

“Oh! One more question,” the doctor adds, standing by the door. “What name do the nurses put on the information for him? They’ll confirm the birth certificate information with you later.”

I look down at Hayden, wondering what she will tell him. She’s not even looking at the doctor and she’s still crying, but her eyes are on me.

“Connor Michael Jameson,” she whispers. Fuck me! This woman unmans me. Time and time again, she completely unmans me. If there are tears sliding down my face, I don’t give a fuck. I walk over to my woman and I take her mouth. I take it hard. I take it fast, and I take it with meaning. I take it because it’s mine.

She’s mine.