NOAH

 

There comes a time in your life where you have to learn to move forward no matter how hard it might be or how much it hurts. You have to learn to forgive, forget, and finally accept you fucked up. It’s not always easy, it’s not always the thing you want to do, but you know you’re a grown up and it’s what’s best. It kills you inside. You want to give up so often, or fight for what you believe should be yours, but was it yours to begin with?

Everything I thought I had with Jenna was all an illusion. I didn’t really deserve her. I wanted to believe she’ll always be mine, I threatened anyone that got in my way, but it didn’t stop him from finding a way in. I don’t blame them, I don’t blame Bennett. She’s a special girl and any man would be so lucky to have her. Especially someone that will treat her right and truly loves her.

Bennett has loved her since the day we met her, I just didn’t want to accept it. For selfish reasons, I wanted to keep her, make her mine completely without even considering what her feelings were. I promised her everything she wanted back then, pretended to be the perfect boy, only because I didn’t want him to have her. It’s fucked up, I admit it, but if you like someone and want to be sure no one else gets them, you’ll do anything, even if it’s stupid.

Now I’m living my life giving them the space they deserve. It’s taken a lot of soul searching, some therapy, and lots of alcohol to finally figure out, I can’t control everything and everyone. I have to let other’s make their own choices. It’s hard. I still miss her every day. Everything I did, I did for her, to protect her, to give her what I thought she needed.

Through a friend, and because Nashville isn’t all that big, I overheard their wedding is today – I’m happy for them.

I think.

 

I wasn’t invited, but that doesn’t surprise me. They’re doing great – they don’t need me.

 

Driving to work in my uniform, I’m able to distract myself from thinking too much about Jenna and Bennett. I was lucky enough to snag a job with the FBI after my drug bust deal. It’s been a hard and long road, but so worth it. I love my job and even surpassed any expectations they had of me. To say things are looking up is an understatement.

 

The road has been blocked, “come on, fuck. I gotta be at work,” I complain as I get out of the car to see what the traffic holdup is.

“There’s been an accident,” another person gets out of their car with a phone in hand.

“Shit, they need help?” I’m worried about the people involved without even seeing the accident.

“Not sure how far ahead it is,” he says.

Parking my car on the side of the road, I walk towards the wreck unsure how long it will take me to get there. It sure beats sitting in traffic for an unprecedented amount of time.

As I arrive I see a bride sit on the side of the road in tears, “Oh my god, are you okay? Can I call anyone? Has anyone called 911,” I shout around before actually looking at the bride.

“I’m fine,” she mutters.

“She’s fine, Noah,” I hear a voice from behind.

“Noah?” the bride looks up.

“Shit, Jenna. What happened?” I look her up and down searching for any wounds.

“Don’t touch her,” I hear the voice that could only be Cassie.

“What happened?” I ask them both.

“I don’t know, that car came out of nowhere,” Jenna whimpers.

“Here,” I pull my jacket off, “cover up,” and hand it to her.

She obliges without a second thought, but Cassie seems to make a fuss.

“Noah, she’s about to get married, quit trying to weasel your way back in,” she’s annoyed, “Where the hell is the ambulance?”

“I told you, I don’t need it, I just want to leave,” Jenna argues.

“You should get checked out,” I try to reason with her.

“I’m fine, I just want to be with Bennett.”

 

Those words being released from her lips make it all such a reality for me. I’d never really heard her plea for him but watching her sit there in tears begging for only one person to make her feel better, it’s made me see it all crystal clear. It’s been right there in front me, I just didn’t want to see it. She never belonged to me. She’s always belonged to him. And now, all I want for her is happiness.

“Cassie, can you call Bennett?” I ask trying to figure out a way to help while I sit next to Jenna on the concrete, “are you sure you’re not hurt?”

“Someone needs to help that grandma,” Cassie leaves us behind.

“You should probably wait for the authorities to do their job,” I remind her as we watch the police scurry around.

“Can we ask you a couple of questions?” a female police officer I’m familiar with approaches Jenna.

We both nod at each other as Jenna annoyingly interrupts, “Of course it’s you,” she rolls her eyes, “the grandma came cutting out of the corner, my driver swerved, she didn’t see him, ran right into us, and I’m late for my wedding, anything else?” Jenna replies in a hasty tone.

“So, it was Mrs. Jones’ fault? That’s what the evidence shows as well.”

“Awesome,” Jenna replies, “I’m glad you take the evidence’s word over mine, not even sure why you’d ask me, we already know you have the answers for everything before you ask.”

“Jenna!” I intercept.

“Oh, shut up,” she huffs, “Can you take me to my wedding?” she bravely asks me.

“Me too?” Cassie adds.

“They’re free to go, we’ll have the vehicles towed and make sure Mrs. Jones is taken care of,” the officer voices as I help Jenna off the ground.

“And you’re sure you’re alright?”

“Would you stop asking me that, Noah. I want to get married. No stupid grandma is going to get in the way of that.”

“Did you have something to do with this?” Cassie catches me off guard with her accusation.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, did you have something to do with this to keep the wedding from happening?”

“As if I would jeopardize a life for that. I get it. They’re meant to be together, nothing I would ever do could stop that from happening.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Cassie exclaims.

“I’m glad you’re finally seeing it for what it is,” Jenna allows me to help her into my car that is parked nearby.

Touching her is bringing back old memories. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her, but I can’t keep a love that doesn’t belong to me. I understand she’s made her decision and I have to accept it and move forward.