Chapter Thirteen
“Did you really think I wouldn't find out?”
I'm sitting on the rough wooden floorboards, staring at the bare walls of the Reflection Room – a place I never imagined I'd find myself. Raymond is sitting in a chair against the far wall staring at me, the look on his face one of rage and disgust.
I look up at him, not knowing what to say. I'm numb with fear and I'm trembling uncontrollably. The adrenaline has long since worn off, leaving me feeling wrung out. Exhausted. I'm out of tears, I'm out of any feeling except fear. I'm so scared, I can't even mourn for Danny.
“I asked you a question, Calee.”
I shake my head. “No, I didn't think you'd find out.”
“That was your first mistake, sweetheart,” he says. “Second, actually. Fucking that townie was your first mistake.”
I lower my eyes and pick at my fingernails. I don't know what to say. There's nothing I can say, really. My worst fears have come true and it will likely cost me my life. Just like it cost Danny his.
“I know everything, Calee,” Raymond says, his voice low and menacing. “You can't put anything by me. You should know that by now.”
I remain silent, my eyes fixed on the ground. I'm not going to be baited into giving Raymond what he wants – either a fight or to have me begging him to spare my life. It's just not worth it to me anymore. But there is one thing I would really like to know.
“How did you know?” I ask.
“I have eyes and ears everywhere,” he says. “Have you learned nothing in your time with us?”
I raise my eyes and look at him. Lifting my chin, I hold his gaze, doing my best to not show him the fear that is coursing through me. In my mind's eye, I keep seeing Danny's limp body being hauled out of the river and a current of dark anger begins to trickle into my veins. I narrow my eyes and stare at Raymond with all of the hate and contempt I can muster.
“How did you know?” I repeat the question.
“Would you believe me if I said that God told me?”
“We both know you don't actually believe in God,” I spit. “God is a useful tool for you. A prop. Nothing more than an opiate for the masses.”
He looks at me, his eyebrows raised. “Wow,” he says. “Look at who's sounding all educated now. Guess you were doing more than just screwing that teacher, huh?”
“How, Raymond?” I spit again. “How did you know?”
He shrugs and tips his chair back, folding his arms over his chest as he stares at me. “Guess it doesn't matter now,” he says, “given that you – and that bastard inside of you – are gonna die and all. It was Ruth. Ruth sold you out. She made me an interesting proposition – her freedom for some valuable information. She bought her way off the Ark by spilling it all. Gotta admire her ingenuity and entrepreneurial spirit. First time I've ever had something like that happen before.”
My heart sinks to depths I didn't think it could sink to. I'd been right not to trust her. To keep information from her. And now – now it's too late for regret. She'd done what she did and although I can't say I entirely blame her – I'd probably do just about anything to get out of this hell-hole myself – I can hate her for it. And I do. I hate her with every fiber of my being.
“Don't worry though, sweetie,” Raymond says. “My Shepherds made sure her trespasses against you didn't go unanswered. She's been – taken care of.”
Taken care of – Raymond-speak meaning that Ruth was as dead as Danny and buried in a shallow ditch somewhere.
“Don't pretend it had anything to do with me, Raymond,” I hissed. “This is all about you. There's no way you were going to let somebody like Ruth extort you like that. Your pride and your ego wouldn't tolerate it. You killed her because you have to control everybody and everything around you.”
Raymond laughs and runs a hand through his hair. He looks at me with an amused expression on his face.
“Well, look at you,” he says. “Looks like little Calee's all grown up now. Got a little townie fuck-buddy, found herself a spine and is thinking for herself these days. Color me impressed, sweetheart.”
I guess there's really no reason to hide it anymore. No reason to play the meek, demure little brainwashed girl. I'm going to be killed soon anyway. At the very least, I want to go out knowing that Raymond knows I see him for who and what he is. It's not much, but it's all I have. All I'm going to get.
“I'm not your sweetheart, you evil bastard,” I say. “I never was. And I see you, Raymond. I know exactly what you are. A predator. A child rapist. A –”
“Shut your mouth,” he says, his tone cold.
“What? That hit a little too close to home?” I taunt him. “Don't like being called out for the pedophile you are?”
He's out of the chair and standing in front of me before I even have time to think. I hear the crack of flesh meeting flesh a split-second before I feel the stinging in my cheek where he slapped me. Raymond grabs me by the hair and hauls me to my feet. Pressing me against the wall, he's standing face-to-face with me, his nose inches from mine.
His expression is dark, his face contorted with rage. His nostrils flare and there is a wild, almost insane light in his eyes that chills me to the bone.
“Don't push me, Calee,” he hisses.
“Or what? You'll kill me?” I ask. “You're going to kill me no matter what I say.”
His fingers dig into my cheeks as he holds my face close. The smell of his breath – whiskey and cigarettes – is overpowering.
“The manner of your death is still up for debate,” he says, his voice low.
“Dead is dead,” I spit. “Doesn't matter how I get there.”
He chuckles. “Sure, it does,” he says. “You can either go peacefully. Humanely. Or, you can go covered in your own blood, begging me for mercy like a coward.”
I don't know what's gotten into me. Maybe it's facing the certainty of my own death that's giving me courage – or an excessive dose of foolishness – but I spit in Raymond's face. He doesn't even flinch when the glob strikes his cheek. I watch is sliding down his face as a thin, cruel smile forms on his lips.
Raymond releases my face and takes a handkerchief out of his pocket, never taking his eyes off mine as he wipes the spit from his face. He tucks the cloth back into his pocket and smiles at me – a smile that promises retribution and pain. The air in the room is thick and saturated with tension and the expectation of violence.
And then with the speed of a coiled snake striking, Raymond's fist lashes out, rocking my head backward as it connects with my face. My head hits the wall behind me, setting off an explosion of pain unlike anything I've ever felt, and for a moment, I see stars. Darkness creeps in at the edges of my vision and I start to feel lightheaded.
Raymond just laughs and steps away from me, walking toward the door. With his hand on the knob, he turns back and looks at me.
“You know,” he says. “According to the Bible, back in the day, adulterers were often stoned to death. I think it's time to bring that tradition back – don't you?”
Chuckling to himself, Raymond opens the door and steps out, slamming it shut behind him. I listen to the sound of him locking the door from the outside followed by his footsteps as he walks away. I sink to my knees, my head still spinning, my face a live wire of pain.
The tears come and I can't hold them back as I lay down on the floor, the rough wooden planks biting into my skin. I sob until the darkness finally pulls me under.