Darci
“It feels odd, my leg being free from that fuckin’ cast. I’m unsteady on my feet, used to balancing extra weight on that side.”
He uses one hand to tuck his shirt into his unbuckled jeans. His arm is held within the confines of a cotton sling, still supporting the injury to his collarbone.
“Need a hand?” I smile moving forward on high heeled feet to assist. I work to concentrate on my task, trying to ignore his warm, minty breath kissing my face. I can feel his brown eyes watching me, scanning my face as my hands work to tuck his dress shirt into his jeans.
“Might need ya to buckle me up too.”
I duck my head to hide the shade heating my cheekbones at the burr in his voice. It’s intentional. I’ve learned this over the past few months. He lets his voice drawl over his words in a soft twang when he’s tempting me. I should tell him it’s unnecessary, that him being him is enough to entice me. But then he might stop, and I’d be lying if I said that drawl wasn’t something I craved from him. He does it to woo me, and I’m woman enough to admit that I like being wooed.
My hands shake noticeably as I move upward, moving each button of his shirt into its designated hole. Tucking his shirt into the waist of his pants, I do up his zipper and belt buckle. I fumble, more times than is comfortable, but he remains quiet, patient as he waits for me to finish. Belt comfortably in place, I fix his collar, carefully around the tie of his sling, I rest my hands lightly on his chest.
Using his uninjured hand, his fingers tip my chin upward, connecting our eyes. He kisses me softly, his lips brushing against mine and lingering. He’s been doing this more and more of late. At first, I thought it was because he physically couldn’t take it further. But, the more it happened, the more I realize it’s more. The feeling, the care put into the soft caress of his lips feels deeper. More loving.
We haven’t shared those three words again, not since the hospital.
I love you.
They seem to haunt me. Circle my mind and body, daring me to tell him again. To be the first one to say it. But I’m afraid. Terrified that maybe it was the drugs and he doesn’t remember. Or worse, regrets saying it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s clear we’ve moved into a new phase of our relationship. We’ve spent an immense amount of time together over the past few weeks; his body healing while mine is growing bigger each day. Our connection has no doubt solidified. We’ve laughed. Talked of life; our pasts, where we’re at now and our hopes for the future. We artfully avoided discussing us and what our future will hold. It’s been dancing between us, skirting along the edges of our time spent together. It’s persistent, but we look to be more skilled in our evasion. I imagine his reasoning is different to mine. I could guess his avoidance is driven by fear. Afraid that pushing the issue would instead push me away as it has done in the past.
While different to his, my reasoning is fear. The anxiety that once our baby girl has arrived and the excitement of being a parent has died down and when the cold truth hits us hard, he’ll break my heart. Unintentionally, for sure. But, he’ll grow bored with my fumbling, awkward nature. He’ll soon begin to crave confidence and strength in a woman and not the shy and uncomfortable traits I greet him with.
“Thinkin’ pretty hard there, Riding Hood. Wanna share what’s dancin’ around in that pretty little head of yours?”
I shake my head dismissively. Brushing my hand down his front, I press a non-existent crease from his shirt. He smiles tightly at my avoidance, disappointment darkening his eyes.
“What does your sign say?”
My face softens at his question, my love for him intensifying with the appreciation I feel for him.
I place my hands on my hips, eyebrows arched in defense. “Like you, Mr. James, I have been sworn to secrecy.”
“Mine’s better than yours,” he states with an arrogant grin.
“No way.” I turn my back on him, walking from his bedroom to collect my bag and coat.
“You think she has any idea?” He watches me shrug my jacket on, moving forward to assist, straightening my sleeves.
“Who? Aubrey?”
He nods, his hands brushing along my very swollen stomach, waiting for our baby girl to kick his hand. They already seem to have some weirdly connected bond, further proving this by nudging my stomach on demand as though she knows who’s touching her.
“No idea,” I respond, watching his wide grin spread along his face at his daughter’s touch. “He did well planning it on her birthday. Making a big deal of today is surprise enough for Aubrey, she wouldn’t be thinking anything more is going on.”
Opening his front door, he lets me past, his keys clicking his lock into place on his exit. “You excited?”
“Oh my God. So much. I feel giddy. I feel like I’m in a movie.” I sigh, hand on my heart and he smiles at me, throwing his uninjured arm over my shoulder as we walk down the path to my Mini.
“You need a bigger car.”
I roll my eyes, beeping the locks and ignoring his comment. Again. We’ve had this conversation, or at least he’s brought it up only to be effectively shut down. His inability to move and therefore follow me from the room made evading the discussion relatively easy.
“You can ignore me all you want. Happy to just go buy you one, Darci.”
Folding into my car, I eyeball him. “You wouldn’t dare.”
He scoffs, pulling his seatbelt cautiously over his shoulder. “Fuckin’ watch me.” Seatbelt clicked into place, he pins me with a murderous glare. “Darci, I’m not kidding. This car would fuckin’ crumple in a collision. I want you and my baby girl in something more solid.”
The hairs on my neck stand at his comment, the thought causing bile to rise in my throat. “Okay,” I concede. “We’ll look for a new car.”
Pulling up outside Annabelle and Archer’s, we’re clearly the last to arrive, cars lining the street and front yard.
“I wish I had a better excuse for being late than the fact that I needed help with my shirt buttons,” he grumbles, and my laugh echoes into the twilight of the night as I remove myself from the car.
Grabbing Aubrey’s present from the trunk, I move, in a waddle like fashion, toward Bennett. He smirks at my pregnant shuffle, and I narrow my eyes in warning. Holding his good arm up in surrender, he pulls me in close, arm over my shoulder again and I relax into his side.
I watch Aubrey’s happiness, her smile shining bright and happy into the night as she mingles with the intimate number of party guests. Her eyes are a little glassy, shimmering with the effect of a tequila or two.
“Jake’s been good for her.”
I glance to Archer, beer tipped at his lips as he watches Aubrey interact with our friends. “I used to think Aubrey was the happiest person I knew. She was always so vibrant and outgoing in her enjoyment of life, or so I thought. I still struggle to reconcile it was such an act. But, seeing her now, after Jake, the pretending seems so obvious. She’s basically shining, she’s so happy,” I smile up at him and barks out a silent laugh.
“Can’t fake happiness like that, Darci.” His attention is glued to Bennett as he speaks, the wide and infectious smile I’m so used to seeing in full force as his head tips back on a laugh at something Toby has said.
I shy away from his words, my eyes finding Aubrey once again as I ignore the niggling need to seek out Bennett, to watch him and read into Archer’s words and thoughts.
“You guys did a really nice job of the setting, it’s perfect.”
Their backyard looks similar to the way it did for Archer and Annabelle’s wedding. The darkness of the night is speckled with a soft array of fairy lights to sheet their backyard in a warm glow. Fewer guests fill the space, but that’s how Jake planned it, quiet, intimate. Only family and Aubrey’s closest friends in attendance. A low murmur of music filters easily through the space, echoed by the diverse range of voices talking and laughing.
Archer observes me blankly for a weighted moment, making me shift uncomfortably on my feet. Finally, shaking his head with a subdued smile, he sighs. “Was all Jake.” He takes my cue, eyes skating over the yard. “Wanted it perfect for her. Reckon she’d be happy with whatever way he went about it though.”
I nod in agreement. “True enough, but he’s making a grand gesture. He wants her to know that he’d do anything for her to make her happy. I love that.”
“Reckon you’d want the grand gesture?” he asks, looking to Bennett once again.
My cheeks shade unnecessarily, not that it matters, is attention is firmly on Bennett as he waits for my answer. “I’d like to say yes, it’s incredibly romantic, but I think my awkwardness would make me uncomfortable. I think something… smaller would work for me.”
His chin lifts in acknowledgment, his eyes catching on Jake as they share a silent communication. Turning to me, he raises his eyebrows. “That’s our cue.” His empty bottle lands in the trash on a loud clang and my heart begins beating faster at what is about to happen.
I follow his long strides, my waddle struggling to keep up. Bennett winks as he wanders over with the rest of the crew, everyone else’s face no doubt alight with the excitement that gleams from mine. We collect our props, each of us holding our card close to our bodies, shielding the words Jake requested we keep to ourselves.
The soft music cuts off, not noticeably though, as Aubrey continues her conversation with Clarah.
“Yo, Red!” Archer’s voice carries heavily through the yard, and she turns quickly, eyeing us suspiciously as her mom walks over to us to join our clique. Aubrey moves to follow her, but Archer holds his hand up in a simple instruction for her to stay put. Uncertainty flicks over her face, but she stays where she stands, glancing at our hands, eyebrow arched in question before searching to locate Jake.
“Happy Birthday,” Archer speaks again, his wide smile big on his handsome face, his arm flung over Annabelle’s shoulder to hold her close. Annabelle meets my eyes and like me, they’re already wet with unshed tears, the emotion of the night hitting us hard already.
Soft strums of a guitar lick through the darkened space and Aubrey searches for him in earnest. He plays his instrument behind us, not quite in sight, waiting for his moment, for his plan to play out before his finale.
The husk of his voice breaks into the stillness and Aubrey draws in a sharp breath, her icy blue eyes, large and round, glistening in the glow of the lights.
Willow takes her cue, stepping to the side as instructed waiting until Aubrey turns to her before flicking her card over.
Aubrey.
Strawb’ries.
Baby.
Aubrey’s hand hits her face, covering the sobs that breaks from her throat. Her eyes skate to us, her closest friends and family, all holding similar sized cards and her head tips back her entire body shaking with the emotion racking through her,
Jake’s voice wraps affectionately around the lyrics of Ed Sheeran’s perfectly crafted song. Singing like he wrote the words himself, just for Aubrey, just for this moment to declare in front of us all how deeply he loves her. That he plans it to grow deeper. For the rest of his life.
Toby pulls Aubrey’s attention, stepping up next to Willow, winking before turning his card for her to read.
I want everything with you.
I want to know that every day I get to tell you I love you.
She smiles shakily at Toby, her face turning back to our group and the sound of Jake’s voice as he continues to serenade her.
I want to wake up next to you every morning and see your beautiful skin and taste your lips.
Frankie’s face looks much like mine and Annabelle’s, wet with tears as she stands beside Toby, letting Aubrey read the words handwritten on her card.
I look around at our friends, Aubrey’s family and even the guys struggle to hide the emotion in their faces. All smiling, but the gestures watery, their eyes glassing over. Clarah leans heavily on Steve, her feelings overrun with the happiness of what Jake is doing for her daughter. Steve glances to Joseph and without words, he steps forward, pulling Clarah into his arms as Steve steps up next.
Aubrey sobs audibly at her stepdad’s appearance. His smile breaks, his lips pursing in an attempt to lessen the emotion making him crack. His love for Aubrey is clear. He cares for her as his own and watching this strong, down-to-earth man break down sets off a ricochet through the group. Clarah’s cries are muffled by Joseph’s shirt and Bennett pulls me into his body, kissing the top of my head as we watch Steve turn his card.
I want to go to sleep with you every night after I’ve heard every detail about your day.
Aubrey and Steve share a silent communication, her attention only pulled from him when Annabelle steps up beside him.
I want to touch you, taste you, make love to you, fuck you.
Every. Single. Day.
For the rest of my life.
“Sorry, Joseph, Stevie,” Jake’s voice breaks into the lull in the lyrics and Aubrey coughs out a laugh, raising an eyebrow toward Annabelle in playful flirtation.
Bennett touches my lower back as I move from the dwindling group, standing beside Annabelle, my tears both audible and visible.
You make me feel complete. Loved. Adored. You’re my everything.
Aubrey blows me a kiss, and I smile around my soft cries.
Bennett moves to stand beside me, lifting his card with his healthy arm, his wide grin firmly in place.
So, even though you’re a terrible singer …
Aubrey laughs loudly, her head tipped back in obvious enjoyment. Looking back to Bennett, she shakes her head in amusement, focusing back to where Jake’s voice is.
She watches Archer’s movements, following his footsteps to where most of us are now standing, our cards still held up for her. He winks, turning his card on a quick flick of his wrist.
I want to be your husband. The father of your babies.
Both Aubrey’s hands cup her face, her shoulders quaking and Joseph walks forward, kissing her forehead, lingering momentarily before standing beside Archer.
I want to be your forever and…
Only Janie and Clarah remain, Jake also now in Aubrey’s line of sight. He and Aubrey share a heavy stare, their eyes connecting and Jake pulls in a shaky breath as Clarah moves forward to join Joseph, her face once again meeting his shoulder to remove her tears before resting her cheek to his arm.
I want you to be mine.
Aubrey’s eyes are glued to Jake whose voice cracks as he repeats the chorus, the emotion of the moment as crippling for him as it is for her.
Janie leans over, kissing his cheek before moving to the rest of us.
I LOVE YOU.
The last few lines of the song are sung as he moves closer, dropping to both knees directly in front of her, the act one of complete devotion. His head tilting upward to allow him access to her eyes as he finishes the song on a shaky breath. In the muted light of the twinkling glow surrounding them, his blue eyes shine with the tears pooling inside of them. He waits a moment, inhaling deeply before pulling his guitar from his shoulder, flipping it over in his hands.
Marry me?
A loud sob breaks into the night and Aubrey closes her eyes tightly against the wetness streaming from her sockets. She opens her eyes, stares at Jake for a quiet second and before she can speak, he holds up a finger silencing her as he digs a hand into his pocket drawing out a ring, no box, simplicity at its best as he offers her only the ring, holding it out to her.
She nods vigorously, her left hand shooting out to let him place the ring on her finger. “Yes,” she adds unnecessarily. “A thousand, million times yes, J-Baby.”