I STEPPED BACK to survey my handiwork.

Three hand-picked magnolias rested against Evie’s front door. I’d taken time to carefully examine each flower and had selected those particular three for their perfect white petals, symmetry, and scent. I only hoped she would guess at their meaning. Maybe it was too much effort for the desired effect, but it wasn’t like I had a lot of other things on my plate—or anything else to do at all.

Most days since my arrival in Charlotte, I did everything I could to keep from being bored out of my mind, but that was the nature of surveillance missions. I knew what to expect while waiting, but I hadn’t anticipated the jittery nerves that raced around my body, keeping all of my muscles tense and ready for action. It was exhausting, but necessary. If I moved too quickly, without taking the necessary precautions, it could easily cost me my life.

After giving the flowers another once over, I crept back to my hiding place—an old Ford parked across from Evie’s house. I’d spent at least ten hours watching the street since the day I arrived in Charlotte and the car hadn’t moved once in that time. The safest place to be when Evie arrived home to my gift was the backseat, where I could remain hidden from watchful eyes but could still see what or who came by.

Impatient for her return, the wait grew dreary. The need to be close to her, to hear her voice—her laugh—once more, and to figure out what the hell was going on in my head, was getting the better of me. Now that I was so close, it felt like she called to every fiber of my being with a siren song. Like she’d claimed me as her own the first time our lips had touched.

It was ridiculous, and yet undeniable.

I yanked my fingers through my hair. When I pulled my hand away, strands of the dark-brown mess clung to my fingertips, victims of my anxiety. I had to approach her soon—years of waiting and searching, combined with the knowledge I was so close now, caused an emotion bordering on hysteria—insanity?—to overtake my body. My palms were clammy, so I wiped them on my jeans as I tried to get a grip on reality.

Why the hell are you so nervous?

The worst part, the thing that was hardest to admit to myself, was that it wasn’t the fear that I’d soon be facing a monster that had my adrenaline pumping. It wasn’t like in the moments just before a good fight. Instead, it was the petty, teenage flutter-in-my-stomach inducing stress that usually accompanied the need to talk to a mega-hot girl—only I wasn’t a kid anymore.

I could’ve almost understood my emotions if it was the usual fear—after all she was something worthy of my terror. I had very valid reasons for fretting on that front. Yet, I also had the knowledge of how to hide it all and bury it so deep down that there were no outward indicators. I just . . . couldn’t. Not with the knowledge that I was so close to achieving a two-year dream running through me.

Looks like I’m disregarding all of my training these days.

Lifting my head up enough to view the flowers from my position, I wondered—not for the first time—whether I was doing the right thing. I had my suspicions that I was making a disastrous mistake. It was likely that she’d forgotten me the instant she’d left our high school in Ohio and fled with her Dad after my stupid-ass rant when I learned her truth.

Part of me hoped that I’d made a slightly more memorable impression than that, but just as desperately, I didn’t want her to remember me. I didn’t want what came next to be shaped by our last meeting. Better she’d forgotten about me entirely than remember the words I’d uttered in anger and disgust after finding out her dreadful secret.

The question of whether I’d meant them or not ran through my head almost daily.

Disturbingly, despite my dreams and the years I’d spent chasing her, the answer was in the affirmative. She wasn’t human. That was a simple and undeniable fact.

If I followed my training, then I shouldn’t have seen her as anything more than that. She should have been detestable to me. She certainly shouldn’t have been the headline feature in my mind’s private peepshow for the last few years. Her kind represented everything that I’d hunted since the tender age of eight. Things like her killed people. The recent trail of bodies by Ben’s fae doppelganger was one small fraction of the body count I’d witnessed in my years with the Rain. Creatures like Evie and the fae stole souls and destroyed countless lives—not just their victims’, but their victims’ families.

Because of that, they all deserved to die.

Evie deserved to die.

Even thinking about that simple truth—one that was buried deep into the core of who I was—was enough to make me hyperventilate because I believed that with almost every fiber in my being. It was ingrained so deep within me that I had no other choice but to accept it. For generations, my family had been part of the last line of defense between humans and total anarchy. For countless centuries, the Rain had been responsible for ridding the world of the worst creatures imaginable: demons, monsters, fae, and all other manner of evil that put humanity at risk.

As a phoenix, capable of destroying the world on a whim with her fiery touch, Evie fell squarely into that category.

And yet, there was doubt.

I had doubt.

For some unknown reason, I’d felt compelled to leave a gift of flowers on her front porch rather than a bullet in her chest. Worse, I’d done so with the hope that she would understand the meaning behind them. Peace. Friendship.

Maybe even more?

The gift was nothing more than a reoffering of the part of myself that I’d given to her a long time ago when I’d first shared the secret meaning that particular flower held for me—the reminder they held of my long lost mother and the sense of peace I found when surrounded by their sweet scent.. I looked at the bouquet on Evie’s doorstep again, staring at them until they faded away into my own reflection in the car window.

In that instant, all that was left for me to focus on was my own haunted brown eyes staring back at me, passing judgment for my stupidity and forcing me to look away in disgust.

I shouldn’t have wanted to give Evie peace. I shouldn’t have wanted to give her anything but a swift and merciful death, but I did.

I wanted to give her more than I was actually allowed. More than I had to offer. At least for as long as it took to get her out of my head. Then . . . who knew? I didn’t think I had it in me to ever hurt her though; the thought caused a physical ache in my chest and weighted down my limbs.

My heart leaped into my throat when I caught a glimpse of her walking toward the small brick house. Just like when I’d watched her leave that morning, the brown curls on her head bounced in time with her step. I knew better than to believe the lie of her current look—one that could convince the outside world but had little bearing on me any longer. Beneath the brown wig was the dangerous beauty from my dream, her hair a kaleidoscopic array of red, gold, and bronze. It was the first thing I’d noticed about her over two years ago, on her first day at my high school. It had captivated me because I’d thought she’d dyed it those colors as a method of self-expression.

It hadn’t been until later—until it was too late, and I’d already made the potentially fatal mistake of lusting after her—that I’d noticed the purple whirling in her irises as well. In the months we’d spent flirting and getting to know each together, she’d never looked me in the eyes long enough for me to notice they were anything but the slate blue I’d assumed them to be at first glance. It wasn’t until I was about to kiss her for the first time, when our gazes locked for a second before it happened, that I’d realized.

I closed my eyes and sighed as I was assaulted by the memory of her body heating rapidly as I held her in my arms during that kiss. The sensation had burned itself onto my skin and even now I could feel the radiant warmth she’d given off.

With the memories dancing in my head, I couldn’t help but consider how different things might have been if I’d noticed her true eye color on her first day at school. Would I have told my father? Maybe my family and I would have hunted her straight away, and then she would never have had the opportunity to worm her way deep under my skin. Instead, she would be dead, and I wouldn’t have been in Charlotte, making what could potentially be a life ending miscalculation.

A shiver raced the length of my spine at the thought.

I was pathetic. Who’d ever heard of a Rain operative who wanted to keep a monster alive for any other purpose than torture and study? And yet, the sight of Evie walking down her drive toward the gift I’d left for her made my heart miss a beat. What was more ridiculous was that I actually hoped she liked them. I wanted her to appreciate the difficulty I’d gone to in order to find those three perfect examples of that particular type of flower.

What’s your next trick? Do you burst out into a fucking song about bluebirds and rainbows and shit? Man the fuck up!

I sank farther into the seat to watch her reaction. The moment she saw the flowers, she turned and carefully surveyed the area. The emotions that flittered across her face were clear and told me everything I needed to know. She remembered me and the horrid words I’d spat at her. She both hated and feared me. I couldn’t say which reaction was hardest to bear.

Blowing out a breath, I closed my eyes.

It was no less than I’d expected—far less than I deserved. Turning up like this was a risk.

For all I knew, she’d embraced her true nature and had learned how to use her fire-starting abilities for the destruction of all. Regardless of whether she had, it was still highly likely that I would be barbequed the instant I tried to approach her. If she felt threatened, which my very presence was likely to do judging by her expression as she studied the street, her natural instinct would be to ignite me.

I was alone and, aside from the piece I always carried, unprotected. It was a rookie error, something that a member of the infamous Jacobs’ clan would never do. Except, I had done it, and it wasn’t even the stupidest thing I’d done. Falling in lust with a monster was so much worse than being unprepared.

What am I doing? I brushed my face with my hands and blew out another breath.

There hadn’t been any choice for me but to go it alone. After all, I couldn’t exactly have brought my brother or sister along. It wouldn’t have boded well for me and would’ve been disastrous for Evie. None of my family knew I was obsessed with a monster. They’d just assumed she was an ordinary girl, and despite Eth’s teasing, none of them knew just how deeply fixated I was. Or completely she had ingrained herself in my mind. If they had, I would have been in New York having an intervention rather than in Charlotte having a breakdown.

After Evie disappeared into the house, I rested back against the headrest.

Would she leave town tonight? After that first blip on the facial recognition software, I had practically raced for Charlotte, after ensuring all of the records of every search I’d ever run in my hunt for Evie were completely erased. That tiny ping of information was exactly what I’d needed after a long, fruitless search that had started almost eighteen months earlier when I’d hacked into the school computers when I was unable to get her out of my head even months after she’d disappeared.

Trying to tune out the thoughts that were running on a loop in my head—like they had since the moment I’d kissed Evie and changed everything, including myself—I focused back on the house. It had been a little over fifteen minutes since Evie disappeared into the darkness behind the door, and already, I longed to see her again.

You’re hopeless.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Why can’t I forget her?

When I opened my eyes again, I scanned the house. A flutter of the curtains in one of the rooms of the house caught my attention, and for a moment I was struck motionless—caught in a spell as Evie’s uncertain face stared out at the road. At me. Her gaze sought me out, but I was sitting so low that even if the windows of the car hadn’t been tinted almost black, she most likely wouldn’t have been able to see me.

Soft, flickering light, possibly from a candle or something similar, flittered behind her, causing the flame-like color of her hair to become even more pronounced and my breath to catch. Saliva pooled in my mouth due to my inability to swallow as I gawked at her natural perfection.

Almost too quickly, the covering snapped shut again, and she was gone—blocked from my vision by a fraction of an inch of material. It was something, and yet the glimpse of her just hadn’t been enough. I tipped my head forward into my hands and groaned loudly.

You’ve built her up in your mind into something she can’t possibly be. It’s not really fair to her, and it’s definitely not fair to your dick.

She was more breathtaking than I remembered. That brief sight of her in her natural state, with her fiery, soft waves dancing around her face, had me instantly hard, and a thousand fantasies from the past two years rushed through my mind. Her face, her mouth, her heat, everything about her had featured in so many of the intimate moments I’d shared with myself. At least, every one since she’d first caught my eye.

For over an hour, I watched the house, looking for any outward indication that Evie or her father were planning to flee. Only after I was satisfied there were no signs of an immediate departure was I willing to risk the chance that she might disappear on me.

Relieved that at least the first part of my plan had worked out okay, I plodded back to the shitty dump I was calling home while I instigated my plan to get Evie out of my head for good. With my meandering pace, it took me almost two hours to get back to my things, but at least the cooling night air reduced my urgent need for a cold shower.

Pushing open the roller door on the ancient, disused warehouse I was staying in, I tried to plan my next move. I hadn’t thought much beyond the delivery of the flowers. That was my grand gesture. By leaving them, I was certain I’d be able to learn whether or not Evie remembered me, and whether the mere thought of me was enough to send her fleeing the state. She did. And it didn’t appear to be.

At least, not yet.

After grabbing my gun from my holster and packing it into the bottom of my bag to keep it hidden, I grabbed a change of clothes from my makeshift bedroom, which used to be an office, and followed the hallways down toward the back of the building. Years ago, the space had housed some sort of manufacturing operation, so it contained a bank of showers at the back that still worked. The pressure in the pipes was weak, and there was no hot water, but it was enough to get me clean. Or at least, clean enough.

The water was icy as it raced over my body. My hair was longer than I usually wore it and with the length, it fell forward over my face as soon as it was wet. I closed my eyes to stop the hair and water from invading them and the instant I did, Evie was there, tormenting me again.

“So you have me here, alone, just like you wanted. Now what are you going to do with me?” When she’d uttered those words years ago, it had been under almost innocent circumstances.

My mind easily twisted the innocuous statement into something more meaningful to provide an image of her standing before me, licking her lips as the words fell from her mouth. It was surprising how many of our chaste teenage interactions had become fodder for my own nefarious purposes whenever my mind needed a little extra inspiration—and sometimes even when it didn’t.

I squeezed my eyes closed tighter still, forcing myself deeper into the daydream, and in response, my mind offered an image of her hand finding my body and tracing a path down my stomach. When my own fingers clutched around my cock, it was Evie’s hand holding me.

As I stroked my length, I leaned heavily against the wall of the shower, splaying the free hand against the cracked tiles to give myself maximum support. My hips thrust forward in response to the fantasy that ran amuck through my mind.

My breathing sped as the images I was being offered changed again. Rather than the cold shower, I was surrounded by the warmth of her lips. I’d only felt their heat for a fraction of time as they’d been pressed against mine during our one and only kiss, but it was enough to permeate into my memories, and force my hand to move faster at the thought.

I could only imagine the feeling of her warm body tucked around mine. Of her heated fingers trailing over my skin. Of her hot, wet lips wrapping around . . .

“Holy fuck!” I exclaimed, smacking the wall with my fist as I came harder and faster than I’d ever thought possible. While my body rode out waves of pleasure, I leaned against the tiles and tried to catch my breath.

My body slumped into itself as fatigue replaced desire. Sighing heavily, I thumped my head against the tiled wall repeatedly.

She shouldn’t be able to do that to me. It was one kiss, and it was almost two years ago.

She shouldn’t have been able, but she absolutely was. The mere thought of her lit my body up like I was fourteen and had just discovered the pleasures of exploring my own body for the first time all over again.

That’s it! I can’t wait any longer. I have to let her know that I’m here so I can get this done already.

My initial plan had been to start with the flowers before building up with slightly larger gifts each day until I felt safe to do the grand reveal—me. I’d thought the slow and steady approach would be the best way to ensure that I didn’t give her the opportunity to use her abilities against me before I knew that it was safe.

Even if I hadn’t realized it at the time, that plan went out the window the moment I saw her pick up the magnolias. For all I knew she would scorch me the instant she saw me, but I still had to see her. Toweling myself off and dressing quickly, I formulated a plan in my mind.

For better or worse, by the end of the next day, she would know that I was in town.

Whether she liked it or not, I would make her talk to me.

If it was possible, I would kiss her again.