Chapter Twelve
Beauty and the Covert Mobster Bullshit
Harlow
When I pulled into Kase’s driveway, he jumped off the porch, totally skipping the stairs. I hadn’t even turned the car off when my door was opened. Reaching in, he killed the engine, pocketing the keys.
This should be fun.
I barely unbuckled when he grabbed my hand and hauled me out, pining me against the side of the car.
“So,” I started when he didn’t say anything, “how was your day?”
“Shit, Harlow, I just talked to Edge—”
“Can we go inside? It’s freezing and I’m not really dressed for the elements.”
He slow blinked. “You wanna go inside?”
I nodded.
Clutching my hand as if I’d change my mind, Kase pulled me into the house, only dropping it when we reached the couch.
Neither of us moved to sit.
“Was Eddie telling the truth?” I asked.
He nodded once.
All the questions I wanted to ask swirled in my mind, trying to push their way out at once.
“How long?”
“A year.”
“When?”
“I was seventeen.”
“Why?”
Kase raised his eyebrow. “You gonna give me more than one syllable conversation if I tell you?”
“Yes.”
He gave me a look but started talking anyway. “You know how I told you about my sister?”
I nodded, my heart hurting just thinking about it.
“Shit,” he cursed, rubbing the back of his neck. “This is a long as fuck story and I don’t know how to give you the bullet points and still have it make sense.”
“So don’t. We’ve got time. Want me to grab us a couple beers?”
“I’ve got them. Sit.” Distractedly, he kissed the top of my head before going into the kitchen.
My legs shook slightly as I teetered on my heels. Kicking off my shoes, I sat down and tried to calm my flipping stomach.
This is Kase we’re talking about. It’s not like he got arrested for painting his face like a clown, stripping naked in public, and tying his dick into a balloon animal.
At least I hope not…
Kase came back into the room and handed me a drink, his usual good-naturedness replaced by an almost haunted contemplation. Though he was only a foot from me, it felt like miles.
Years maybe.
Lowering himself to sit on the edge of the couch, he put his elbows to his knees, letting his hands hang between his spread legs. A beer bottle dangled between his fingers, but he didn’t drink from it. Instead, he spun it as he stared down.
“If you don’t wanna talk about this right now—” I started before he shook his head.
“Nah, I want you to know.” He inhaled deeply. “Willa was my half-sister. My ma got knocked up by Willa’s father,” he sneered the word, “when she was seventeen. Shortly after, he started knocking her around, pregnant and all. When Wil was old enough, she started getting it, too.”
My stomach sank, rage coursing through my veins at the thought of someone using that kind of violence.
“Ma would take her and leave, but he’d find them. Every fuckin’ time.” He looked at me. “Shit is still fucked up in this country. But back then? Ma was Colombian, Willa’s father was white. He’d tell the cops Ma was high, it was just her jealous temper, all sorts of shit. The cops would believe him and hand her back.”
“That’s seriously fucked up.”
“Shit like that happens still, ipo. And, yeah, it’s fucked. Wil’s father would blow money on all sorts of shit, so Ma ended up working nights at a diner to make ends meet. One night she met a guy who was just grabbing a cup of coffee while he waited for a tow. He came back every night for a while after that.” He smiled, though it was small and sad. “Ma would always laugh when she told this part. She’d say, ‘Big shot doctor, wearing his fancy suits and drinking sludge coffee. Tipping too much like money didn’t matter.’ Dad would pull her to him and say, ‘When it came to you, nothing else mattered.’”
“That’s really sweet,” I whispered.
“Yeah, he was always like that. He’d say, ‘If she’s worth your love, she’s worth your life.’”
It wasn’t hard to see where Kase got his charm.
“Anyway,” he continued. “Willa went to the diner one night at three in the morning. It wasn’t a long walk, but definitely not one she should’ve been taking at eight years old. She was bruised up. Dad took one look in her eyes and that was it. He’d been trying to finesse things with Ma since he could guess shit wasn’t good.” He looked meaningfully at me. “He knew she was scared so he didn’t want to rush things and fuck shit up before it had the chance to grow into everything he knew it would.”
At his words and the intensity of his gaze, my heart sped up.
“But when he saw Willa, all bets were off,” he continued. “He told Ma that was it, and she just nodded. Dad used the threat of a scalpel to the dick to get Willa’s dad to sign the divorce papers and give up his parental rights. They got married as soon as the divorce was official and he filed the papers to adopt Willa the very next day.”
I sipped my beer, not really tasting it as I watched Kase.
“He was always patient with Wil, but by the time he came into their lives, they’d been through so much shit. Ma was like me. The world could be falling down around her, and she’d focus on how exciting it’d be to rebuild it. But Willa struggled. They got her as much help as they could, but nothing worked until I came along when she was ten.”
I didn’t find that hard to believe. Kase had a knack for being just what people needed.
“They worried how she’d respond to a new baby. They planned for the worst. But she loved me. She stopped throwing tantrums and having meltdowns because she didn’t want to scare me. She started doing better in school because she wanted to be able to help me. I still don’t get it.”
“I do,” I said before I could stop myself.
Though I was willing to share, I didn’t want him to stop talking.
“Yeah?” he asked.
“I’ll explain some other time. Keep going.”
Reaching over, Kase rubbed my thigh. “When I was fourteen, my parents were travelling to something for dad’s hospital. They got on one of those little planes for the last bit of the trip and it went down.”
“Baby,” I whispered, reaching out to squeeze his arm.
Before I could, Kase gripped my wrist and pulled me to straddle him. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. “Better.”
“I’m sorry you lost them like that,” I said against his chest.
“It was more than half my lifetime ago.”
“Still, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me too.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head. “Willa filed for custody of me, which she got. She was out of college by that time and had a steady office job. She tried to keep it together. She loved me, but losing our parents, especially after all she’d been through? She slowly fell apart.”
I sat up and put my hand on his chest. I could feel his heart racing.
Kase rubbed his jaw, still lost in his story. “I tried to help, but it doesn’t matter how many hands you reach out to someone if they don’t want to take them. Drugs? They fuck people up. A little weed is nothing. But when someone wants to escape, they don’t head for a bowl or a blunt. They go for a needle. For powder. For something strong enough to take them away. And that’s what Willa was going for. My beautiful sister faded. She shrank. She dulled. She was a shadow of herself, harsh and twisted. Distorted.”
My heart was breaking for him, painfully heavy in my chest. Knowing his probably felt the same way, I rubbed the spot where I felt it pounding, wanting to ease it.
His hand covered mine and pushed it closer.
“I felt guilty that she’d had to take care of me. Like that extra responsibility pushed her over the edge. She’d get high, get sick all over herself, and I’d clean her up. I’d bail her out. But that guilt works both ways and it eats at people. She was a junkie addict, but it was the guilt she felt when she was sober that made her not wanna get clean.”
I remembered what he’d told me about my mom and guilt. When he’d said he understood, I hadn’t believed him.
Knowing how tired Mom was, how much her body hurt, I wanted to do everything I could to help. There were times when I’d gone out and had fun, only for her to have a flare-up shortly thereafter. Logically, I knew it was a coincidence, but I’d still felt guilty, like I’d abandoned her.
I wasn’t helping because of a sense of obligation. Staying close to home was an easy decision because I loved her and Hadley. I made sure to be there for doctor’s appointments and testing because I worried and it made me feel better to be informed. I’d never thought about how it would make her feel guilty.
Since you started seeing Kase and finally living your own life, how happy has she been? More energy and healthier, too.
“Baby, I’m sorry,” I said, wishing I had something more profound to offer.
He caught my gaze, his eyes filled with regret. “After a while, I started to hate her. Her addiction controlled her, and I couldn’t stand seeing her like that. Passed out, fucked up, bleeding and out of her fuckin’ mind. I lost them, and then I lost her. Even before she died, she was gone. And I hated her for it. That guilt tore me apart.”
I clutched him to me, blinking back tears.
“Harlow, it was a long time ago.” Kase squeezed my exposed thighs. “I’ve dealt with those demons. I’m only telling you so you’ll understand.”
As much as I hated hearing what he went through, I knew it was a big deal for him to tell me. And since it was a part of who he was, I wanted to know.
Inhaling deeply, I pulled back. “So what happened?”
“As her addiction grew, Willa had to find new ways to support her habit. She quickly blew through what little money she had, and couldn’t work anymore. Our folks left us money, but she couldn’t access all of it. I’d buy her food and clothes, but I wasn’t buying her crank or smack or whatever else she was injecting into herself. She became a familiar face in court. The judge warned her that if she got in trouble again, she’d be sentenced to a lot longer in a bigger prison.”
“Not rehab?”
He shook his head. “She didn’t want the help.”
“That’s crazy.”
“It’s addiction, ipo. Anyway, by that time I had my own studio apartment. And since I wouldn’t let her bring drugs in, she wasn’t staying with me. One afternoon, she called me out of the blue and wanted to take me to lunch. She said she was in the mood for a burger. I was skeptical, but she sounded good. Excited. When I picked her up from a friend’s place, she came running out with her bags, happy to see me. We had lunch and she was almost herself. Almost.”
He paused for a second, his jaw clenching. His eyes went unfocused.
“Why don’t we finish this a different time, baby?” I suggested.
He squeezed my thighs and gave me a small head shake. “When I was driving her to the new place she was crashing at, a cop pulled behind me and hit its lights. Willa started freaking the fuck out. She wanted me to keep driving, but I wasn’t an idiot. As I pulled over, she starts sobbing and swearing, trying to hide her stuff. The cop took one look in the car before radioing for backup and making us both get out. It took him one glance to see what I hadn’t.”
“What?”
“There’s a look junkies get when they have their next score. It’s a twisted version of a kid on Christmas eve.”
“She had it?”
He nodded. “And she set me up as her getaway driver. She hadn’t been running out of that house because she was excited to see her baby brother. It was because she’d just stolen a shit ton of drugs.”
“Holy hell.” My brows lowered. “Wait, so how did you end up doing time? You didn’t know she even had anything. Didn’t they believe you when you told them?”
“I didn’t tell them.” At my incredulous expression, Kase gave a humorless chuckle. “Guilt. All she’d been through, how hard she’d tried for me, how I’d started hating her. I told you, it ate at me. So I took the fall. I said it was all mine and she had no clue.”
“Didn’t she argue?”
“No,” he said, his voice soft and sad. “The amount of drugs she had, they charged me with intent to distribute. With her record, she’d have been gone for a long, long time. She cried that she’d die in there, swearing she’d go to rehab and get clean instead.”
“And no one figured it out?”
“Sure, they all did. No record or track marks, clean drug test. Someone like that doesn’t jump into hardcore drugs, dealing or using. But I wouldn’t rat her out. And if I pled not guilty, I’d have been. I wouldn’t even talk about it. Still, they gave me a light sentence of five years.”
“That’s light?”
“You know what heroin is?”
“A drug?”
“No, like what it really is.” When I shook my head, he continued, his face filling with contempt. “It’s garbage. Toxins. It’s dirt fuckin’ cheap because it’s cut with whatever nasty chemical shit they can. People are dying left and right from it, so they come down hard on dealers. And Willa had a fuck of a lot of it in her bag. Not that she was planning on selling any of it, of course.”
“How did you only end up doing a year then?”
“Willa died ten months after I went in. Once my lawyer came to tell me there was no one to protect anymore, I told them the truth and they worked to get me released. Some lawyers and judges are crooked and smug, but not the ones I had. It rubbed them wrong to know they were putting an innocent man away.” He shrugged. “But like I said, I hadn’t given them a choice.”
I didn’t know her, but part of me hated Willa, too. “That sucks she didn’t take the gift you gave her.”
“She didn’t even try. Didn’t visit me, not once. Just faded more and more until one of her junkie friends found her a few days after she’d OD’d.”
I rubbed his cheek. “I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“It was a long time ago. I’m not booking a repeat stay, but prison wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Had a couple of guys that kept my back and I kept theirs. Made a big fuckin’ difference.”
“Still,” I whispered. I let my head drop to his chest as I tried to wrap my brain around his life. It amazed me that someone could go through all of that and still be functioning. Kase had a gorgeous home, a job he was passionate about, and a group of friends that were more like family.
He wasn’t running and hiding behind boxes.
Kase rubbed my back. “It’s not something that I blurt out to every person I meet. Actually, very few people know. But I was gonna tell you soon. I don’t want you to think I was trying to hide it from you.”
“I didn’t.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes, his hands stroking along my spine soothingly.
“Didn’t think you were gonna come,” he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear.
“What?” I tried to sit up but he put pressure on my back, keeping me against him.
“Edge called to tell me what went down and said you’d already taken off.”
“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you, and it wasn’t really a texting kinda conversation. Did you think I was just going to haul ass into the night and never speak to you again?”
“The thought might’ve crossed my mind.”
“I told you I’m not running anymore. I’m just relieved you don’t twist your dick into balloon animals.”
“What?” he asked, his laughter rocking my head.
“Nothing, never mind.” I pressed my nose to his tee, breathing him in. “I’m sorry, Kase.”
“It was a lifetime ago.”
“I’m still sorry,” I whispered.
“Made me who I am,” he whispered back. “I’ll never take for granted all the good I have in my life because I know how fast that can change. Seen the bad, the dirty, the fuckin’ ugly, which means I can really, truly appreciate the beauty for what it is.” Gripping my ass, Kase stood, taking me with him. “I’m thinking now’s a good time to do just that.”
Taking the stairs two as a time, Kase carried me up to his bedroom, his mouth and beard teasing my neck.
After such a heavy conversation, I wasn’t sure what he’d want. When he set me on my feet, I waited, ready to follow his lead.
His lips went to mine, his kiss bruising and frenzied. Bunching the skirt of my dress up, he pulled away just enough to yank it over my head. With his mouth back on mine, he reached behind me and unhooked my bra. His rough hands trailed up my sides, pausing to cup my breasts over the fabric. Moving slowly across my chest, he pushed the straps down my arms.
I released my grip on his shirt, letting the bra fall between us.
Kase wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me, tossing me gently on the bed.
Leaning over the bed, he hooked his fingers into my panties. When I raised my ass, he slid them down my legs, his feather light touch causing goosebumps to spread across my exposed skin.
He reached behind his neck, pulling his shirt off with one hand as he used the other to shove his pants and boxers down. I only had a second to enjoy the view before he followed me down, his body covering mine.
His hand moved between us, gliding easily through my wetness as his thick finger entered me. The pad of his thumb circled my clit with a firm, steady pressure. Reaching above me with the other hand, he grabbed a condom packet and brought it down to my mouth.
I carefully bit the corner as he pulled it back, opening it.
“So fuckin’ hot,” he murmured, his eyes glued to my lips.
I tossed the wrapper to the side and handed him the condom. My hips raised instinctively when he took his fingers away.
Thankfully, he replaced them with something much better as he dropped between my spread thighs, the head of his cock nudging against me.
Now. Faster. Harder.
Now.
Fast!
Moving frustratingly slow, Kase filled me, inch by glorious inch.
I clutched the sheets tightly as I fought against moving.
He dipped his head down to my ear. “Beauty,” he whispered, the sound raw and rough. Reaching up, he gripped the edge of the mattress. Using the leverage, he thrust so hard my body shifted up the bed. Moving one hand to curl over my shoulder to keep me in place, he repeated the action with even more force.
I wrapped my legs around his thighs, keeping hold of the sheet as his movements became savage.
All the pain that’d whirled around us earlier became a searing heat. Our hearts pounded, our breath coming faster as we moved together. Every nerve ending felt awake.
Alive.
Coming undone, I closed my eyes and savored it for what it was.
Beauty.
*******
Kase
“How’d it go?” Jake asked two point five seconds after I walked through Hyde’s door on Monday.
“I’m not shitfaced, right? And you know if shit went sour, you’d be peeling my ass off the bathroom floor right now.”
“True.” Standing up, he flipped a wrench around in his hand. “I know you hate talkin’ about this shit, but Piper—”
“It’s cool. Harlow came over and I told her everything.”
“All of it?”
I nodded.
Jake rubbed across his jaw. “How’d that go?”
“It sucked to tell someone who shouldn’t have to hear about that kinda ugly shit. But she’s not an uppity bitch, so her concern was on me.”
“That’s good, man.”
I grinned. “Better than fuckin’ good.” My smile faded as my hands squeezed into fists. The tension that’d been lurking in my bones since Harlow told me the whole story made itself known. “Now to deal with that fuckhead Eddie and whatever ass he’s kissing in an attempt to drown himself in pussy and blow.”
“What’d Lars say?”
“I haven’t talk to him yet. Harlow spent the weekend, and I wasn’t giving up time with her to deal with this shit. I figured I’d duck out early and—”
He put the wrench down. “Not much left to do here. Let’s go.”
I shook my head once. “I got this.”
Ignoring me, he walked to the door that opened into the hall. “Sweets!”
“What?” I heard Piper call out.
“Bring your sweet ass over here.”
“No.”
Jake let it swing shut and stepped back to the work bench.
“She’s gonna smother you in your sleep,” I said, shaking my head.
Despite her protest, a flour covered Piper slammed through the doorway. Crossing her arms, she nodded her head and wiggled her nose. “You beckoned, master?”
When Jake started stalking toward her, I turned away and pulled my phone out. Trying seriously fuckin’ hard to not overhear their murmured conversation, I texted Harlow.
Me: Hey ipo.
Harlow: Hi, what’s up?
Me: Trying to ignore the possibility that Jake and Pipe are about to fuck while I’m in the room.
Harlow: Maybe run with Xavier’s idea and keep a spray bottle or something close by to separate them.
Me: How’s your day?
Harlow: Hectic. I just grabbed a coffee and am heading to class.
Me: I’ll let you go. You got the station tonight?
Harlow: No, but I’m working Rye.
I rubbed the back of my neck as I blow out my breath.
Me: Fuck. Had you to myself all yesterday, guess I can’t complain.
Harlow: If it helps, I’m only swinging through the dinner rush tonight, not closing.
Me: Yeah, that helps.
Harlow: Plus, only three more days at the station and then I’m done until the fall… Well, if I get accepted for the fall session.
Me: You will. I’ll pick you up from Rye. Miss you.
Harlow: Miss you, too.
Smiling to myself, I put my phone away and cleared my throat. “I’m turning around now.” Moving slowly, I shifted and saw Jake’s back where he had Piper pinned to the wall. “Dude, I’m gonna get going before they open. Stay with your wife.”
“Where are you going?” Piper asked.
“Strip club,” Jake answered right away, surprising me.
“Cool, can I come?” she asked, which should’ve been shocking, but wasn’t really.
“Fuck no.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not fuckin’ stupid enough to bring my hot ass wife to a titty bar, even if it isn’t open right now.”
“Even though that’s twistedly sweet, I still wanna go.”
“No.”
“Move, Mr. Bossy Pants,” she ordered, pushing at his shoulders, though he barely budged.
Jake stepped back and whispered something to her. Her face flushed in response, her body leaning into him.
“Meet you outside,” I said, leaving the room as he curved his hand around her neck and dipped his head.
Though none of the jealousy I used to feel was there, I still didn’t want to see them all up on each other. Getting into my ride, I put on some music and checked my messages.
A minute later, Jake opened the passenger door and got in.
“Is she gonna tail us?” I asked, only half joking.
“If she hadn’t taken another cake order, she’d probably be gatherin’ her girls and all the dollar bills from the safe. But she’s too busy.”
“Dude, your wife is fuckin’ awesome.”
He grinned, looking at the shop as I pulled away. “Yeah.”
“But as awesome as she is, there’s some shit that you might hear today that you can’t tell her.”
His smile faded. “I hate it, but I get it. Not my place.”
“Wasn’t mine either ‘til that douche dragged my woman into it.”
“Why’d Eddie come to Harlow about Lars?”
“Short answer, they know each other.”
“Long answer?”
“She worked for him.”
“Like…”
“Yeah. I went in to see him a few months ago and saw her on stage.”
“Shit.” He shook his head, but was smiling. “That must’ve thrown a fuckin’ wrench in your plan to pretend she didn’t exist, yeah?”
“I’d already decided that was out the window. Seeing her there just sped up the process.”
“Good. You were draggin’ your fuckin’ feet.”
I clutched the steering wheel, hating the reminder of how much time I’d wasted. “Anyway, she told me that Eddie was streaming security footage to his personal shit. Which is bad for business and fuckin’ skeevy as shit. I told Lars, and now Eddie’s name is off of everything and he’s banned from Wicked.”
“Fuck.”
I filled him in on what little else I knew before pulling into Wicked. After parking in the rear lot, we got out and I was about to knock on the back door when it swung open.
“Fuckin’ shit, man,” Lars said, his unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. “Gonna give me a motherfuckin’ heart attack.” Looking behind me to Jake, he smiled. “Spank my fuckin’ ass and call me Lucy. Mister Marriage is not about to step foot in a titty bar.”
“You’re not even open right now,” Jake said.
“Give me a second, I’ll glitter up.” Lars lit his smoke. “Since I know neither of you lucky bastards are here for a dance, what’s up?”
“Eddie,” I said, the one word enough to make Lars go alert.
“What’s that fucker done?”
“Edge didn’t say anything?”
“Works been out of control. I’ve got a list of messages a mile long to get through. Why?”
“Eddie got in Harlow’s face while she was out with her girls at Voodoo on Saturday. Since, one, it happened in his club, and two, one of her girls is Ray, Edge is fuckin’ riled up.”
“Shit.” Lars rubbed the top of his head.
“That’s not all. He told her to tell you that he and Nash will be in touch, like some wannabe covert mobster bullshit.”
“That dumb prick lives his life like he’s in the fuckin’ Sopranos. He’s like one tenth Italian, but wants to be a walking, talking stereotype. And Nash? What the fuck is he doing with that crazy fuck? Shit.” Stubbing out his smoke, he flicked it across the parking lot. “Thanks for the heads-up. I’m sorry Harlow had to deal with that shit.” He looked to Jake and shook his head. “And since you’re here, I’m assuming your woman was there, too. So I’m fuckin’ sorry to all of you.”
“Not on you,” Jake said.
Lars raised his chin. “It is. He’s my dumb fuck cousin. I’ll get it taken care of.”
“Let me know what you need,” I said, hoping for Eddie’s sake he dropped all the drama bullshit.
“If it involves Nash, I’m gonna have to get Nox involved.”
Reluctantly, I nodded.
“At the risk of enduring your jealous boyfriend wrath, how’s Harlow doing? This shit didn’t shake her up too bad, right?”
“Other than Eddie blabbing that I did time, she was a rock.”
“You’ve gotta fuckin’ be kidding me,” Lars muttered, his eyes sympathetic as he lit another cigarette. “Brother, I’m sorry, I—”
I waved away his apology. “I was gonna tell her soon anyway.”
His brows shot up. “No shit?”
I nodded. “Told you before I thought there was something big there. Now I know it.”
“Seriously, man, good for you.” Lars looked between Jake and me. “Maybe it’s the hair. I should let mine grow out so I can meet a fuckin’ cool woman.”
“At the very least, it’ll hide your lumpy head.” Taking out my phone, I checked the time and ignored Lars giving me the finger. “All right, we’ve gotta go get some shit packed up and transported to the new place.”
“See you at the opening, if not before then.” He looked at Jake before adding, “Let me know if you need more hands to get the last bit done.”
Jake gave him a chin lift. “Will do.”
“Say what’s up to Harlow for me!” Lars called to my retreating back.
I flipped him off, but shouted, “Keep me in the loop.”
As we pulled out of the parking lot and turned toward Hyde, Jake looked at me. “Nox?”
My jaw clenched as my gut twisted. “What someone who didn’t earn the time but had to do all of it turns into.”
“Fuck.”
“That about sums it up.”
Eddie seriously better let this shit go.