Chapter Four
Secrets and the Gatekeeper
Harlow
“Hey Tiny Dancer.”
I sighed as I carefully went down the school stairs, Hadley in my arms.
Kase was leaning against my car, his legs crossed at his ankles. My abandoned backpack was slung over his shoulder. He looked almost menacing, but strangely all I felt was comfort.
Yup, I’m officially so stressed and sleep deprived that I’ve lost my mind.
“Who’s that?” Hadley asked, lifting her head to study Kase.
“Hey, I’m Kase,” he said, his voice a soft rumble. He reached out his hand.
Hadley put her chubby hand out to meet his. His long, tattooed fingers wrapped around hers gently before he let go.
Flippin’ hell, my ovaries just exploded.
“My name is Hadley. I’m five and I like toads. How old are you? Do you have a toad?”
Kase chuckled. “I’m thirty. And I do have toads but they aren’t mine to keep. I live near the water and they visit sometimes.”
“Can I see them?” she asked, her face getting some color back.
“Definitely.”
“Maybe,” I said, glaring at him.
My evil look did nothing, and he just grinned at Hadley.
I moved to the other side of my car. “Well, we really have to get home.”
Hadley wrapped her arms around my neck. “I don’t wanna. I wanna go see the toads.”
“You’re sick, baby. You have to rest.”
“But David is there for a meeting and they always get so loud.”
“David?” Kase asked, his tone sharp.
I ignored him, trying to focus on one thing at a time. “Hadley, we’ll snuggle upstairs and watch movies the whole day.”
“Who’s David?” Kase asked again.
“Not now,” I whispered. “I’ve gotta get her home, she was running a wicked fever.”
Hadley shook her head, clutching me. “I wanna go with Kase and see Ted.”
“Ted?” he asked, obviously not in the mood to be helpful.
After scanning the area, she lowered her voice. “Ted is a secret agent toad.”
I popped the trunk of my ancient car. Hiking her further up my hip, I reached in to grab Hadley’s booster. Before I had to juggle to tug it out, Kase plucked her from my arms.
Surprisingly, she went with no hesitation as she continued to fill him in on undercover amphibians.
I got her seat in and turned around to grab her. “Come on, babe. We’ve gotta go.”
“I’m going with Kase.”
“Hadley Freckle Face Cooper, we need to get you home and in bed.”
“That’s not my name.”
I reached for her, but Kase dipped down and softly placed her in the booster. Reaching across, he buckled her, making sure the belt was positioned correctly.
You should be ashamed of yourself for getting aroused at this.
I should, yes. But I’m not.
Standing slightly, Kase said, “I’m gonna talk to your mama real quick, okay?”
“My mama is at home,” Hadley said, her tone confused. “That’s why Low Low came to get me.”
“I’m gonna talk to Low Low then.”
Uh oh. Ogling time is over, now I’m in trouble.
Getting out of the car, Kase closed the door. He crossed his arms and shook his head, his dreads swaying with the movement. “Don’t even know where start.”
“Start later. Please. She’s gotta rest.”
“Why don’t you bring her to my place? Dunno who the fuck David is, or what other fuckin’ secrets you’re keeping.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he talked over me. “And right now isn’t the time, I get that. So come hang at my place.”
“I can’t.” When he looked ready to argue, I rushed on. “If I didn’t have to work tonight, I would. But I need to get her home, email people to find out what I missed today, get caught up on homework, and then work tonight.” I was exhausted just thinking about it all.
He jerked his head toward the car. “You gonna be able to do all that with her running around?”
“Mom is home, and I’m gonna call her nanny in early.”
Kase’s brows shot up. “She’s got a nanny?”
I nodded. “I’ve really gotta go, Kase. Thanks for your concern.”
Kase’s eyes narrowed before he lifted his chin. Opening the backdoor, he ducked his head in again, setting my bag down. “It was nice to meet you, Hadley. I’m gonna see you real soon, okay?”
She gave him a small smile, her face paling. “Can we see the toads, too?”
“Definitely. And I’ve got two dogs. One is so big that Low Low thought it was a bear.”
Hadley giggled, but her eyes were beginning to get heavy. “Can I come see them now?”
Kase shook his head. “No can do. I’ve gotta get to work and you’ve gotta feel better. Then you can come over.”
He didn’t make me the bad guy.
I could kiss him for that alone.
“Okay,” she said, her disappointment clear.
He stood back up. “Feel better, gorgeous.”
She waved. “Bye-bye.”
Touching her nose, Kase stood and turned to face me, closing the door behind him. “We’re talking. Soon.”
“Okay,” I agreed, reaching for my door handle.
Grabbing my outstretched hand, he pulled me to him. I crashed against his body, my hand pushing his chest in an effort to keep some distance.
A futile one.
“You’re a lousy liar, Low Low.” Bringing his hand up, he brushed my hair from my face. His fingers trailed tenderly down my neck.
I locked my knees, fighting the urge to lean into his touch, and whispered, “I’ve gotta go.”
Always going. Always running. Always escaping.
Kase kissed my head, pulling me tight against him. “Call me, day or night.”
Stepping away, I opened my door. I smiled, rolling my eyes and forcing myself to sound flippant. “Sheesh, you’re making it sound like we’re saying goodbye forever. I’m sure I’ll see you when I get together with Piper.”
Without giving him the chance to respond, I got in and started the engine.
“I like Kase,” Hadley said.
“So do I.”
Balls.
*******
“Mama, you’re awake!” Hadley screamed, running through the house.
Mom crouched down to catch her right as she launched herself. “Hi baby. Why aren’t you at school?”
“I got sick. All over. The jamitor had to dust it.”
“Janitor,” I corrected, emphasizing the n.
“Are you okay?” Mom asked Hadley, feeling her forehead and looking her over. Concern took over her features, mixing with the usual tiredness. Her lips turned down as she glanced up at me. “Why didn’t they call me? Shouldn’t you be in class? Oh no, did you have to leave school?” As the familiar guilt settled on my mom’s face, the weight pushed in on me.
“No, no. I was already on my way home since I didn’t feel well either,” I lied. “Joss texted me since she has my number in her phone.”
Hadley’s teacher and I had gone to high school together, though she'd been a couple years ahead of me. Even if she wasn’t a friendly acquaintance, she’d still have called me before Mom. It was part of my secret arrangement with the school.
Hadley shook her head. “Joss said I can’t call her that at school. I always have to call her Miss Lennon.”
“That’s right, baby. It’s disrespectful.” Mom cuddled Hadley closer as she stood. “Let’s get you both to bed.”
“I’ve got a lot of work to get done,” I said. She opened her mouth to argue, but I shook my head slightly. “A lot, Mom. I’m feeling better, I promise.”
She tried to hide a smile as we climbed the stairs. “You running behind have anything to do with not coming home last night?”
“I just crashed at a friend’s house.”
“What’s this friend’s name?”
Before I could answer, Hadley grinned and started yammering on. “His name is Kase. And he’s so nice. His eyes are Queen Elsa pretty and his parents let him draw all over his skin. And he likes Low Low so much.”
Cute as she is, I wish she had a mute button.
“Oh really?” Mom nudged me as we approached my bedroom door. “And how much do you think Low Low likes him?”
Hadley pursed her lips as she thought. “I think a lot.”
“Based on her blushing cheeks, I’m betting you’re right.”
As much as I wanted to end the whole conversation, I couldn’t. My mom looked happy, her hazel eyes bright and teasing.
“Okay gossipy ladies, I’ve gotta go get some work done. I’m gonna call Abbey and have her come over early.”
Some of her good mood left. “Harlow, you don’t need to do that. I can take care of my sick daughter just fine.” Her voice was sharp, but her expression showed her guilt and sadness.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I know that, Mom. You took care of me, and look how awesome I am.” I grinned as she gave me an exaggerated sneer. “Okay, bad example. I just figured with Hadley sick, Abbey can handle the chores and dinner so you can take care of Blabbermouth Freckle Face.”
“That’s not my name!” Hadley giggled before sticking her tongue out.
Mom nodded, looking relieved. Her pride would’ve pushed her to do everything, and she’d have paid for it all week. “I suppose you’re right.”
“I know, like I said, I’m awesome.”
It was her turn to roll her eyes. “Go do your homework.”
“Yes, Mom.”
Opening my door, I tossed my bag in and headed to the bathroom. My head was still hurting, though the actual migraine had passed.
I hoped I wasn’t coming down with whatever Hadley had. Courtesy of kindergarten germs, it seemed like there was a new outbreak of something every week.
I grabbed the ibuprofen from the night before and was unsurprised to see it was expired. Probably dangerously so.
Oops.
Snagging the garbage pail, I dumped it and the other couple of expired bottles I found. I rearranged my hair products, sorted my extra makeup by purpose and color, and threw out a bunch of things I was never going to use.
Taking the full bag, I started for the steps. When I passed my mom’s room, I tried to ninja my way by, but my skills definitely needed improving.
“What are you doing?” Mom asked, stretched out on her bed with her e-reader and a coffee. Her dark brown hair was pulled up in a high ponytail and she looked comfy in yoga pants and an oversized sweater. While her normal skin was a rich olive tone, I’d gotten used to her being pale. Seeing the color in her cheeks made me grin.
Although I was tempted to tackle her for the coffee, I just held up the trash. “I cleaned out the bathroom.”
“While I’m glad you decided to finally tackle that bottomless pit of junk that you don’t need, shouldn’t you be doing homework?”
“I couldn’t focus. You know the saying about a clean bathroom equaling a clean mind.”
And my mind has definitely been extra dirty lately.
“I don’t think that’s a thing,” Mom said. “Now stop stalling.”
“I’m not.”
Her voice lowered in a warning. “Harlow.”
“Fine, I’m stalling.”
“Go throw that outside.” She gestured to a sleeping Hadley. “We don’t want the little fashionista to get into anything. Again.”
“That was the plan.”
“Then you can come tell me more about Kase.”
Putting my hand on my forehead, I huffed and shook my head. “Sorry, can’t. Too much homework. Totally swamped with it.”
My mom laughed. “That’s what I figured.”
Grinning, I tossed the garbage outside and went back up to start on my homework, which suddenly didn’t seem so bad.
*******
“Let me take you home,” Kase said as soon as I stepped outside of Wicked that night.
“Why, Teo, I’m not that kinda guy. You haven’t even bought me dinner.” Hitting his package of smokes on his palm, Lars followed me out and leaned against the back of the building.
“What’re you doing here, Kase?” I asked.
When he hadn’t come in at all during my shift, I’d assumed he was done babysitting me.
I totally didn’t miss seeing him. And I definitely didn’t look for him all night. Not at all.
I really do suck at lying.
“You’re too tired to drive,” he said. His dreads were pulled into a knot at the back of his head. Grease stains marked his jeans and white tee, making it look like he’d just come from work even though it was crazy late at night.
“He’s right,” Lars agreed on an exhale. The smoke swirled around him, catching bits of light and giving him an outlaw look.
Setting my heavy bag down, I crossed my arms. “You think I should go home with him?”
He shrugged. “Just ‘cause I kissed you and you weren’t into it, doesn’t mean I want you getting hurt ‘cause you fell asleep driving.”
“That doesn’t—”
“You did what?” Kase asked, his voice clipped and harsh.
Lars stood up and pointed at Kase, the red glow of his cigarette punctuating the motion. “You’re the one dragging your feet.”
“You’ve got no fuckin’ clue what I’m doing.”
“Obviously neither do you,” Lars shot back.
Things were deteriorating quickly. Lars paid the bouncers well because they did a lot of work. His expectations were high, and his drama tolerance low. It didn’t matter who was causing the problem, they were out.
I can almost see my job circling the drain.
“That’s not how things are between us,” I said, trying to calm the situation. “I’m best friends with his boss’ wife and—”
“You’re friends with Piper?” Lars flicked the cigarette butt. “The wedding. That’s why you took that weekend off.”
“You know…” I shook my head slightly. “Actually, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t tell her I work here. Please.”
“Your secret is safe with me, Legs. You know that.”
My breath whooshed out. “Thank you.”
Lars looked at Kase. “And that’s why you’ve been in here almost every night? Just being a good friend?”
“What do you think?” Kase bit out.
“I think you want her.”
I rolled my eyes. “Are we seriously gossiping—”
“Yeah, I do,” Kase interrupted, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
I’d been expecting his response, but it still made my stomach flutter even as I tried not to let the words sink in fully.
Lars lit another smoke. “Makes me wonder why the fuck she’s still working here.”
“Hey!” I threw my hands out. “He has no say—”
“Man, don’t you think I’m working on that?” Kase asked Lars, ignoring me.
“Maybe work a little harder.”
I whipped around to glare at Lars. “Are you serious right now? You’re my boss.”
“Yeah, but if I was your man—”
“Don’t even finish that fuckin’ sentence,” Kase warned, his voice low.
“First of all,” I said, holding up a finger, though not the one I wanted to give them. “I’m right here so stop talking about me like I’m not… Or like I’m an object.” I added another finger. “Second, you’re right; I am tired. Which is why I’m not gonna stand out in a freezing parking lot all night while you two have a pissing contest. So goodnight.” Turning, I stormed off, ignoring them both as they called my name.
When I got to my car, I reached for my bag, only to find it gone. “Balls,” I muttered, lowering my head to touch the cold metallic surface.
“Forget something, Tiny Dancer?”
Without lifting my head, I stretched my arm behind me. “Yup. Thanks.” I wiggled my hand when it remained empty. After it became obvious he wasn’t giving it to me, I raised up and turned around. “Bag?”
“Come home with me.”
“Kase, I can’t.”
But I really, really wanna. Cloud bed and sexy sleep partner? So tempting.
“I’ll set an alarm and get you back here to your car nice and early.”
I took a second to think it over. “Will you make me coffee?”
“Don’t have a coffee maker.” I knew my expression must have shown my shock and horror when he laughed. “But I know a good coffee shop that opens at five.”
“Any chance you’ll just give me my bag and let me go home?”
“Nope.” He turned and started for his car. “Let’s go, Tiny Dancer.”
Who does he think he is? I’m not going to follow him.
Not for five, maybe ten seconds.
After counting down, I walked to him with my head held high.
*******
“Time to get up, ipo.”
Grabbing the pillow, I swatted it around, trying to make the noise stop. When it didn’t connect with anything, I covered my head.
“Come on, Harlow.”
“No Harlow. Only Zuul,” I grumbled, the words muffled by the pillow.
“Fine, Gatekeeper, but you still have to wake up if you wanna get back to your car.”
I fought the urge to kick around like I did at home. “What time is it?”
“Little before five. Wanna go back to sleep and I’ll drop you at school?”
“I’m up.”
He chuckled, low and deep. It sounded sexy and somehow intimate.
Maybe ‘cause you’re half naked in his bed while he does it.
“No, you’re cocooned in the blanket.” His voice softened. “Stay and sleep, ipo. Take the day off.”
Using all of my willpower, I threw off the blanket and stood. “What does that mean?”
“A day off is something people do by—”
“No, I know what that means.” I shrugged. “Well, not from experience, but I’ve heard it’s done sometimes. What’s ‘ipo’ mean?”
Heat infused his tender look. Hooking me around the waist, he pulled me tight against him.
My hands landed on his bare chest. In an attempt to lessen the intimacy of the hold, I moved them to his arms. His biceps flexed and tightened under my touch.
Well, that was pointless.
Catching my gaze, he held it as he spoke. “It’s Hawaiian for sweetheart.”
Even if I tried, there was no amount of knee locking that could’ve prevented me from swaying into him. My hands trailed his skin as they returned to his chest and I leaned closer. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.” His gaze dropped to my lips.
In that moment, I thought he was going to kiss me.
And in the following moment, as he let go of me and stepped away, I thought I was going to kill him.
“Tonight we talk,” he said.
“I’ve gotta work.”
“You think I don’t know you switched shifts with that blond so she could have Saturday off?”
“Stalker,” I muttered. “Kase—”
“We’ll have dinner.”
“Kase! I’m—”
“And while we eat, you’ll be talking.”
“For someone that’s always yammering on about how I need to talk, you sure do interrupt me a lot,” I snapped, glaring at him.
Like always, he was unfazed. “Gotta feed the boys. I’ll meet you downstairs.”
As he left the room, I sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed my hands down my face. Pulling them away, I noticed they were streaked with mascara, eye shadow, and about a pound of glitter. Looking behind me, I saw the pillow I’d slept on looked even worse.
It’s the hooker of the pillow world.
Flopping onto my back, I grabbed the ‘pillow of the night’ and held it over my face to muffle my scream.
Better.
*******
“Told you I’d find you.”
“Kase, now is so not the time,” I huffed, out of breath as I grabbed a giant stack of files.
“You agreed this morning that you’d meet me for dinner.”
“No, you agreed with yourself that I would. And, in case you can’t tell, I’m a smidge bit busy.”
He grabbed the pile from me. “Couldn’t find a minute to shoot me a text?”
When I tried to take it back, he lifted them over his head, well out of my short reach.
I looked around before lowering my voice. “A senator was caught in a sex scandal. I know, hide your shock. But because of that, I’ve been pouring over years of data and files.” I jerked my head to the table of pictures and DVDs.
He handed me the files, though he took half of the load and put it back on the table. When I moved to take them again, he put his hand on top. “You’re not gonna be able to carry all of them across the room, let alone wherever you have to go. I saw you trip just getting out of bed.”
My face heated at the memory, but not out of embarrassment. Trying not to think about us in bed together, I headed for the door with the more manageable stack. “I’m obviously not able to have dinner tonight. We’ll set something soon. I’ve gotta go. Sorry!”
When I dropped everything off in the conference room, it was a chaotic madhouse. Everyone was talking over each other, fifteen TVs played different stations, and the huge table was a mess. I collected the empty coffee cups and balled up papers, taking orders in between.
I returned to the intern space to get the rest of the files and was surprised that Kase was actually gone. When I reached for the pile, I saw a note on top.
Has anyone ever told you that you run away a lot?
Call or text when you’re done.
“I only run from you,” I muttered to myself even as I reread the note and tried to memorize the number he wrote down.
“What’d you say?” Andrea, another intern, asked. “And was that hottie in here your boyfriend?”
I shoved the scrap of paper into my pocket. “Nope, just a friend.”
“That’s what I figured. Not just because you guys look like complete opposites, but who would be wasting time here when they could be with him?”
“A crazy person,” I said, feeling a little delusional as I double-checked everything was in the correct order. Actually, quadruple checked.
“So,” she started, feigning indifference as she sat down, “is he seeing anyone?”
“Lots of someones,” I lied. “He’s a huge player.”
“I’m not surprised.” She sighed as she handed me pictures of the senator in assorted and intricate compromising positions. “Hot ones never want to settle down. Of course when I peeked in here and you two were talking, he looked pretty into you.”
“No, we’re just friends.” I tried to hold back my grin, but I knew I looked inappropriately pleased to be holding photographic evidence of an affair. “Well, I better get this all to the conference room.”
Maybe I will call him.
*******
As I slowly pulled my coat on at the end of the long, long night, my phone started ringing. I was unsurprised to see Kase’s name on the screen.
When it became obvious there was no way I was getting out early enough for dinner, I texted him to let him know. Unfortunately, shit had hit the political fan shortly thereafter, and I hadn’t been in touch since.
“Hello?” I answered.
“I’m out front, ipo.”
“Thank God,” I muttered through my yawn. I wasn’t sure I was capable of just walking to my car. Driving was far down the list of things I should’ve been doing.
It’s probably still above going home with Kase.
Kicking off my heels, I walked barefoot outside.
As soon as he saw me, Kase jogged over, grabbing my heavy bags and throwing the straps over his shoulder. Holding my shoes by their heels in one hand, he wrapped his other arm around me and kissed the top of my head.
“How was the rest of your night?” he asked as we walked.
“Long. Chaotic. Rage inducing. Then, honestly, gratifying.”
“How so?”
When Kase opened the car door, I collapsed in and closed my eyes. “Rumor is Senator Jones is going to step down amid the scandal, which is expected. He misappropriated branch funds for vacations with the various women he’d set up with jobs they weren’t qualified to have. But the icing on the cake is that his wife is gone. Like there’s just a smoke outline of where she was, she jetted so fast.”
“And that’s good?”
“Definitely. Have you ever watched a press conference where a famous person is fessing up to boinking someone? Their poor spouse is standing there, and you know they’re just fantasizing about beating their husband with all of those microphones. It’s good to see someone finally refuse to be a prop in a political move.” I opened my eyes and smiled up at him. “Come on, let’s go. I can hear cloud bed calling me from here.”
“Can’t keep the bed waiting.” Kase closed the door and got in on his side. Starting the car, he switched the radio from hard rock to a popular hits station.
“Go back, I love that song”
He changed it back. “I never took you for a rock ‘n’ roll fan.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You just don’t seem like it.”
“That’s pretty judgmental. I like what I like. My love of all things glitter and fashion doesn’t mean I can’t rock. There’s a lot about me that doesn’t fit in one tidy little box.”
“I’m learning that.” He was quiet for a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“I know,” I interrupted, giving him a lazy smile. “So how are things at the Hot Dude Garage?”
He glanced at me, his dark brow raised. “Jake change the name?”
“He really should. I think your business would skyrocket. Maybe have a gift shop with shirtless picture calendars, keychains, life-size cardboard cutouts. Oh, and mugs.”
“Also with us shirtless?”
“No, of course not. They’d be the heat activated ones. You’d start out in shirts, then when someone poured their morning coffee, bam! Shirtless. It’d be an instant double pick-me-up.”
“Somehow I don’t see Jake going for that idea.”
I sighed. “It’s a shame, my marketing genius being wasted. But I suppose you’re right. What’s been new at boring Hyde?”
For the rest of the drive, he told me a bit about what he did. I knew next to nothing about cars but I was fascinated at the artistry of it.
When we got to his house, Kase wrapped his arm around me again as we walked up the path. The smell of the water was stronger, a breeze carrying it to us.
I have the overwhelming urge to strip down to my underwear and run into the freezing water.
When we got inside, he steered me into the kitchen. “When’s the last time you ate?”
“Uhh…”
“That’s what I thought.” Turning, he opened the fridge and pulled out what was in.
Literally.
Two containers of Chinese takeout and two beers was all that was in there.
“Did a polar bear break in and eat all of your food?”
He laughed, the sound sending an unexpected heat through me. “No.”
“Did you forget to go grocery shopping?” I asked as I hopped onto the kitchen island. Opening the carton, I grabbed a fork and started eating the cold lo mein noodles.
“Nope. Want me to heat that up?” he asked as he dished out something spicy and veggie filled.
“No, I like it cold. Here.” I scooped some onto one of the plates. “So what’s with the lack of… everything?”
“Hey, that’s not true.” He opened a cupboard filled with more than a few boxes of marshmallow cereal and toaster pastries.
“Oh my God, talk about sugar overload. Don’t you have any food without a cartoon mascot?”
“We’re eating it.”
“What do you do for meals?”
Kase glanced at me over his shoulder as he checked the food in the microwave. “Delivery, takeout, out to eat, drive-thrus.”
“You never cook?”
“Nope.”
I looked around his kitchen. Like the rest of his house, it was modern and the appliances were a high quality.
“Why do you have such kickass appliances? Were you married?” Closing my eyes, I scrunched up my face. “Sorry, that was rude.”
By the time I opened my eyes, Kase had used his super ninja speed to get right in front of me. He tucked my hair behind my ear, his knuckles skimming down my neck.
“Not rude, ipo. You were just asking a question.”
“I still could’ve been a little smoother about it.”
“Never been married. I had this house built and, surprisingly, they don’t offer a bachelor option where the kitchen is just a beer room and a stack of takeout menus.”
My brows shot so far up I was sure they were part of my hairline. “You had this place built? Why?”
At my blunt but innocent question, Kase’s expression changed. His smile seemed forced and the teasing, lightness in his eyes was gone. “The polar bear needed plenty of space. Speaking of which, I better go take the boys out. Grab the food, I’ll be right back.”
While I got the food and utensils, setting them on the small kitchen table, I wondered why building a house was such a touchy subject. As much as I wanted to know, I wasn’t going to push it.
Mighty big of you. Since you never, ever keep secrets.
Yup, totally running with a whole let-it-all-hang-out policy.