“Oh my god, girl. Are you ok?” Gina bursts into my office the following morning without knocking, as usual, before flopping down in the chair across from my desk.
“Yes. I’m fine.”
As if. That is one of the biggest lies that I have ever told, but admitting how I really feel is just admitting defeat at this point.
I can’t even believe that Jake is marrying Alexa.
I shouldn’t be surprised, since every damn thing that came out of his mouth to me was a lie, but he led me to believe that their relationship was long over. He had me believing that he would never go back to her again, that she had been lying when she had told me that he was moving back to Georgia for her.
Yet, three weeks after sleeping with me, he is suddenly professing his love, on national television no less, to a woman who isn’t me. Which means that the rumors about him trading teams next season are totally true.
It’s like a kick to the teeth when you’re already down.
It’s heartless and it’s cruel. Which I have unfortunately discovered, are two words that sum up Jake Matthews perfectly.
He had grinned so widely on the TV, telling fans how he needed to go and get his girl. Foolishly, as I watched, for a brief second, I thought that he was talking about me.
My heart had fluttered in my chest, stupidly of course, and a million thoughts had run through my mind. What would I say to him? Could I ever forgive him? What did this mean for the future?
And then, when I heard him say that he was going to make the girl his forever?
My heart had soared.
I love this man. Regardless of the major asshole he turned out to be, the fact remains. I love him, and frankly, I could probably forgive him, if he could explain to me what in the hell had been going through his mind when he broken my heart by making a stupid bet.
Because a part of me, that has now been destroyed of course, believed that while he did make this bet, I believed that some of his words had been true.
Sadly, I was mistaken.
I had managed to make it out of the stadium before my sobs broke loose.
And I only let myself cry briefly, and managed to bottle up my sorrow enough to make it home.
But after that, once my front door closed? It was over. I sobbed until I had no tears left to cry. And after that, I sobbed without the tears.
I woke up today feeling slightly better, but still. My heart is pretty damn tender.
“I mean this in the nicest way possible, but, you don’t look ok. You pretty much look like shit.”
“I swear to god, you are the shittiest friend ever.” I mutter, before running my hands down my face.
“I’m trying to help you. That’s what friends are for.”
“Ok. Then as a friend, change the subject, please.”
Just as she opens her mouth to do so, a knock on the door snaps both of our attention up. And when I see who it is standing there?
I almost fall over.
“I’m sorry to interrupt.” Jake starts, leaning up against the doorframe in a pair of jeans that look far too good on him, his hands tucked into his pockets.
“Laci, can I speak to you for a second?”
“You’re not supposed to be here.” I can barely force the words out of my mouth, my teeth are so clenched together that my jaw aches. “You need to leave.”
He blows out a breath, before pulling one hand out of his pocket, and running it down his face.
Despite my anger, I can’t help but notice how his arms flex with the movement, causing the seams to nearly burst on his t-shirt, that just so happens to ride up his stomach, showing off his gorgeous abs.
I force my eyes away from the sight, before slamming my hand down on my desk.
“Fuck.” Gina mumbles, glancing between the two of us. “I’ll get out of here so that you guys can…”
“Stay.” I order, pointing furiously at her, before standing on shaky legs. “He’s leaving.”
I stand and start towards the door, ready to slam it on him, when I catch his eyes. I can’t pinpoint the emotion there, but his gorgeous eyes are full of something. Regret, maybe, but I can’t tell. And frankly, I really don’t care.
He can look at me all day like that, but I’m not falling for his crap again. I don’t even care what he has to say. Nothing that spews out of his mouth can erase all the damage that has been done to my heart.
Not a damn word.
“Laci. Please. I came in peace. I just want to explain myself to you. I want to apologize.”
“I don’t care to hear it. I appreciate you trying to get right with God, or whatever it is that you’re doing here, Jake, but I am all set. I don’t want to hear a single thing that you have to say. Not a single damn word.”
“Laci. I’m sorry.”
“Get out!” I can’t even contain the shrill sound of my voice, and I barely care that I’m causing a scene. I just want him to go, back to his life, back to his fiancé. I just want him to get the hell away from me.
“Laci.” His voice catches as he reaches out a hand to me, but I swing my arm away.
“Please, Jake.” My tone softens, as I force myself to try to keep it together. I refuse to cry in front of him. Refuse to let him see the damage that he has done to me.
I am stronger than this.
His eyes lock on mine, as he inhales a gulp of air, before finally nodding. He takes a step back, never breaking our gaze, before shaking his head once and turning to walk away. I grab the door and slam it as hard as I can, before I let my body sink back against it, and I allow a single tear to fall.