Preston felt sick.

To think that he’d thought so highly of Brad—still did, dammit—when Brad was just preaching, talking the talk without walking the walk, without taking his own damn advice…

Preston’s hands tightened on the wheel as he drove. He should’ve seen it coming, of course, but he’d been a lovestruck idiot for the first time in his life.

He supposed that it had to happen eventually. He hadn’t ever really been in love. There was bound to come a time where he went and tumbled head over heels for the wrong damn person.

But why did it have to be now? And why did it have to be Brad? The one person that he’d thought he could trust and talk to?

That was what hurt. If Brad had been someone he’d been flirting with at the bar or something, he’d still be hurt, of course. But Brad was also the person he’d opened up to about all of his shit. The person helping him through it.

Now he had to locate a new class, and find someone else he could trust, and he’d probably have to tell them everything and start from the beginning, and he was just overall not looking forward to that shit.

But he had to do it. He’d just lost Brad; he wasn’t going to fail and lose his deal with Luke too.

Especially after that poker night. He’d felt so much looser, and so had everyone else. He didn’t want to lose that improved atmosphere. He didn’t want his friends to go back to being on edge around him.

Preston thumped the steering wheel. Fuck, he should have known it would be like this with Brad. He’d known from the first night, from the grocery store.

And he’d thought, what, that it would change because of a kiss and some dry humping? What kind of an idiot was he?

Brad had made it clear from the beginning that he wasn’t out and that he had no intention of coming out. Their private sessions were a bubble of safety for Brad, Preston realized—just as much as they’d been a bubble of safety for him. He could work out his anger, and Brad—Brad could be gay, could flirt, could be himself.

But where Preston was trying to take what he did in those private sessions and bring it out into the world, Brad wasn’t. Brad didn’t care. Did he expect to have his cake and eat it too?

What had he thought would happen once the anger management sessions stopped? Was he planning to cut Preston out of his life then, no explanation, or with a half-assed one, just let him go like it had all meant nothing?

Preston had been an idiot. He’d let himself fall for the guy, he’d thought it was a good idea, and he’d crossed lines and ignored the warning signs that had been flashing in front of his face from day one.

Then Preston slowed, gently applying the brakes.

He’d been so upset, he hadn’t realized that he’d been driving straight to Joe’s.

Preston stared at the bar. He recognized the cars that were in front of it: Luke, Lance, Eric and Hank, and so on. Some, like Travis, didn’t have cars in front because they could walk from their house, but still. He knew they’d be in there.

And he was alone.

Preston swallowed hard. He wanted to go and talk to his friends about this. He wanted their help, their advice.

He couldn’t just waltz in there, though. Luke would be upset that he was breaking their bargain.

Preston swallowed down the lump in his throat and pulled away, heading towards home. He’d do some of that stupid self-care that Brad had talked about in class one time.

He knew it wasn’t stupid, not really. He felt better after he’d done it. He just hated that it was Brad who’d told him about it.

He would go home, and watch a favorite movie, and eat some food like he liked—comfort food, like mac n’ cheese—and just indulge himself a little. Right. And then tomorrow, he’d text or call Luke and ask if he could stop by the bar during the day, when it was slow or hadn’t opened yet. Luke would definitely be there. And Preston could talk to him about finding a new class.

And about Brad.

He felt so stupid. He was sure that Luke would tell him he’d been stupid. Well, not in those exact words, because Luke was too nice, but that would be the meaning.

He’d just suck it up and learn. He was still going to become the kind of person that Luke and his other friends wanted to hang out with.

He’d get over Brad in no time.

Right?