I don’t think I’ve ever yelled at a grown ass man the way I yelled at Mickey Rains.

I thought I was clear. I told Harold and Franklin that I’m not doing the whole fake relationship thing, and I assumed that was the end of it. I went back to the set the next day, and things seemed totally fine.

At least until I got a call from Mickey, explaining that the relationship story was about to drop.

I fucking lost it. I’ve never felt so goddamn betrayed in my entire life, and the worst part is, if I don’t play ball then they’ll replace me. Despite the fact that I’m headlining this film and have a bunch of scenes fucking shot already, they’ll cut me right out and replace me with some other fucking action asshole.

“That’s the business,” Mickey said to me. “I saved your career.”

“Fuck the business,” was my reply, but it didn’t matter.

It was done. I couldn’t change it.

Now I’m in a fucked-up position. On the one hand, I don’t give a shit about this movie. I’d gladly walk away and never look back. I hate letting these assholes push me around, especially when it’s a bunch of Hollywood douchebags. Maybe I’d be torching my acting career, but I’ve already made so much fucking money, I can easily find a new line of work to support myself and be very comfortable. It’s not about the work at all. I’d burn it all down for my own sense of honor any fucking day.

The real problem is, if I walk away then I may never see Tara again. She’ll disappear on me. Sure, she wants me, and we shared that insanely good kiss. But that doesn’t mean I’m forgiven for fucking up all those years ago. If I leave this movie, I don’t know what she’ll think, and I’m afraid I won’t get another chance to try and make this shit right.

But if I go through with this fake relationship, I don’t know how she’ll feel.

Then again, she’s in the business. She knows how these things go. I bet she’ll understand that this whole relationship is a fucking load of shit, and she’ll see through it. Or maybe she won’t, since I do think she has some jealousy toward Holly. Goddamnit, there’s no good answer to this situation.

And so I find myself sitting across a table from Holly at a nice restaurant, pretending to be on a date.

I don’t know why I agreed to this. The cameras went fucking crazy when we got out of the car together and walked inside. Fortunately they’re leaving us alone, but people keep glancing in our direction. At least I have some nice, strong whisky to help me through it.

Mickey told me I’d be fucked if I didn’t go through with this. I have to make it look like I’m dating Holly, which means we have to be seen together. This is so painfully staged, but it doesn’t seem to matter to anyone. For my part, I don’t want Tara to think I’m some fuckup still for losing this job.

“Just smile and pretend like we’re having a good time,” Holly says to me. She reaches across the table and puts her hand on top of mine.

I pull my hand away. “I’m having a great time,” I say. “Aren’t you?”

“Of course.” Her smile is plastered on and I feel like she might pass out. “You’re utterly charming, you know that, Jackson?”

“Of course,” I grumble at her.

The waiter comes over with our food. Holly got a salad, which she barely picks at. I got a big ass steak, which I dig into without hesitation.

Holly makes a face at me. “You know everyone’s watching us, right?”

“Yep,” I say through a mouthful of steak. “Might as well enjoy it, since the studio’s paying.”

She makes a face. “You’re so gross, Jackson. You don’t care that all these people are watching you tear through that steak like it’s your last meal on this planet?”

“Nope,” I say, and pop a big, juicy slice between my lips.

She sighs and shakes her head like I just said something funny.

I grin at her and chew obnoxiously.

“You don’t have to be an ass,” she says to me. “We’re in this together, you know. You think I want to be doing this?”

“You didn’t seem to mind at that dinner,” I say to her. “And you didn’t seem to mind the other afternoon.”

A flash of anger crosses her face, but she covers it up quickly. “That was a mistake,” she says to me. “And I do what’s best for my career.”

“Yeah, I bet you do, sweetheart,” I say to her. “Don’t you hate all this?”

“What, glamour and excitement? No, I don’t hate it at all.”

I laugh a little. “This is glamour? I don’t see it.”

“Of course not. But to me, this is the dream. People actually want to see me, Jackson. They’re paying attention to me. I’m some nobody girl from a nowhere town and now photographers want to sell pictures of me eating a salad with some muscle-headed jackass.”

“Sounds amazing,” I say, laying on the sarcasm.

“Don’t patronize me,” she says, still smiling. She’s actually a good actress, I decide. “You think this is all stupid, I get that. But it’s important to me.”

“It’s fake,” I say. “I saw real shit out there. You wouldn’t know the half of it.”

“I don’t care about your stupid military career,” she says. “God, all you military guys are the same. Like anyone gives a shit.”

That pisses me off, and I’m quiet for a second. Holly is a vapid, idiot girl, and I can’t let her get under my skin. She nibbles on a lettuce leaf while I take another big bite of steak. I wash it down with the rest of the whisky and motion for another one. It arrives right away, like they were fucking waiting for me to finish my first one.

I can’t complain. It’s good food and good drinks, at least, and it’s free. Still, there’s something off about Holly, and I can’t put my finger on it.

“Why did you pussy out the other day with me?” she asks suddenly.

“Pussy out?” I grunt at her. “Not exactly.”

“You threw me out when all I wanted was to fuck a little bit. You not into girls or something?”

What a fucking shrew. “You ever stop to think that maybe I’m interested in somebody else?”

That seems to genuinely surprise her. “You got a girlfriend?”

“No,” I say. “But there’s someone… important to me. And I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Oh, shit,” she says, smiling larger at me. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re in love with somebody else. That’s why you wouldn’t fuck me. That’s why you don’t want to do this fake relationship.”

I stare at her for a second, not sure what to say. I buy time by taking a big sip of whisky. She’s right of course, and maybe it would be easier if I just came clean. Holly seems a little nuts and intense, and I don’t like her view of the military, but maybe she’s not a horrible person. Maybe I can even trust her, at least just a little bit.

“You’re right,” I say to her, not wanting to elaborate.

She laughs and shakes her head, clearly amazed. “A fucking movie star, in love with someone? I think I’ve seen everything now.”

“I’m not a movie star,” I say to her.

“You are. Come on, Jackson. I’ve heard things. I know you sleep around.”

“Maybe I did, but I don’t anymore,” I say. “Maybe I’m trying to be better.”

That just makes her laugh even more, which pisses me off. I’m getting sick of this fake date, and free food isn’t making up for it. Holly really does seem like a fucking asshole, and I already regret telling her the truth.

“Listen, you’ll find this out pretty fast. Relationships don’t work out here. It’s just not that kind of place.”

“I don’t care about Hollywood,” I say to her.

She sighs and sips her wine. “Whatever, I get it. You have some farm girl you’re pining for back home. But here’s the truth: you’re stuck with me, and you better not fuck it up.”

I stare at her and she just smiles. “Here’s to our relationship,” she says, raising her glass.

I toast her and sip my whisky, watching as she slowly finishes her salad.

Holly is going to be dangerous. I can see that now. I assumed she was just some Hollywood bimbo with nice tits, but I think she’s a lot more than that. She seems smarter than I realized, and she clearly doesn’t give a shit about what I want at all. The only thing Holly cares about is whatever she can do to get ahead.

Which means she’ll be the first person to fuck me over if the opportunity arises. She knows I’m in love with someone now, but she doesn’t realize who yet. She saw me dancing with Tara the other night, and she should have put it together right there on the spot. But clearly she’s too shallow and self-centered to notice something like that. She probably only notices it when guys are looking at her.

The dinner mercifully comes to an end. Since the studio is getting the check, we simply get up and leave. I help Holly into her light jacket, although it’s fucking nice outside this time of year. When we get onto the sidewalk, the paparazzi descend like fucking vultures, snapping pictures and yelling in our faces.

“Kiss for us!” one of them yells, and the rest of the guys take up the call.

Holly turns to me, a grin on her face. My heart starts hammering and I realize that I’m supposed to actually go through with this.

But before I can, I picture what Tara would think if she saw that. This fake fucking relationship is bad enough as it is, and it’s going to take some explaining. But if she saw me actually kissing Holly, I don’t think she’d forgive me, and I can totally understand that.

Plus, she revolts me. Everything about Holly’s self-centered personality turns me off. She’s emblematic of the whole culture out here, and it’s a culture that I don’t love at all. Sure, making movies and acting is a fun way to make a living, but some of the people in this business are downright horrifying. Holly is pretty much average in that regard.

So instead of kissing her, I put on my best winning smile and turn to the cameras. “Sorry, boys,” I say. “You’ll have to watch the movie if you want to see that.”

Some of the guys laugh and I take Holly’s hand. I press through the mass of cameras until we finally get inside of the car that brought us here.

Once settled, Holly turns to me. “You should have fucking kissed me,” she says. “What’s the difference? We’ve kissed plenty.”

“That was for work.”

“This is too,” she snaps. “Just man up and kiss me.”

I stare at her for a second before leaning in toward her. “Get something straight. I don’t give a fuck about you or about this movie. I’m doing this for my own reasons. Don’t fucking push me.”

She looks surprised and for the first time since I’ve met her, she doesn’t have something to say. I lean back and look out the window, annoyed at this whole fucking situation.

But at least I didn’t kiss her. That would have been easier than standing up for myself, but I’m not a total fucking pushover. I want to get what I want, and I have to play the game a little bit. I just hope I can make Tara see the truth.