“I couldn’t do it.”

I stare at him, not sure what to say. “I don’t understand.”

“I think she’s in,” he says slowly. We’re standing close together in the very back of the set, far away from any prying eyes. “But I don’t know if we can go through with it.”

“Jackson. What happened?”

He hesitates, looking away. “It’s the studio. Apparently they want to kill this movie.”

“What?” I can’t believe that. So far, from what I’ve seen, things are looking great. So we’re a little behind schedule and a little over budget, but that’s pretty much average for a big Hollywood film these days. Budgets are more like fantasies and wish lists.

“My agent’s assistant called me up and warned me. I tried to get Mickey to take Holly as a client, and hopefully he’d sell that script in the process, but Von warned me to back off.”

“Von?” I ask him.

“That’s Mickey’s assistant. He said that the studio is unhappy with the drama and the budget and they’re thinking about killing the whole thing before it gets too far out of hand.”

“Shit,” I whisper and bang my hand against the wall. “Those assholes.”

“Yeah,” he says softly. “So you see my problem.”

If this movie gets killed, a lot of people are going to be out of jobs. The whole cast and crew cleared their schedules for this on the assumption that they’d have months of work ahead of them. People depend on this movie for their livelihood, and although they’ll still get paid for what they’ve done, that future work suddenly disappears. Guys are going to be scrambling.

A lot of people depend on this. I don’t think most people realize just how many jobs depend on a big budget movie. Guys need to feed their families, and working on a big movie like this can bring them some serious financial stability, at least for a year or so.

And if we pull it all out from under them? I don’t know what would happen.

“So that’s it, you’re just screwed?” I ask him.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I can’t let this movie die. Mickey’s also thinking about dropping me.”

I look up at him, shocked. “You’re not serious.”

“That’s what his assistant says. I think this whole Holly thing is making him see that I won’t play ball. And Mickey wants clients that play ball.”

“I’m so sorry,” I say, pressing myself against him.

He pulls me tight to his chest. “Truth is, I never thought I’d like this acting thing. But I don’t think I’m ready to give it up.”

“I know,” I say to him. “That’s okay. I don’t want you to sacrifice that much… I couldn’t ask that of you…”

He sighs and pulls my chin up toward him. He kisses me softly. “This isn’t over just yet,” he says. “There has to be a way.”

“I don’t see how. If you break up with Holly, she smears you. If you keep pushing this script thing, your agent may drop you and this whole movie could die.”

He looks at me for a second and shakes his head. “I can’t let it go. You think I should just roll over?”

“No, Jackson, no. But I want you to think long-term. I don’t want you to sacrifice everything just for…” I trail off, not even able to say it.

“For what?” he whispers to me.

“You know.”

“I don’t know.” He looks into my eyes. “Say it.”

“For me.”

He kisses me softly and I feel a deep chill run down my spine. “I’d do more than that for you,” he says. “You deserve it.”

“How?” I ask. “What you did… it was so long ago. I’m not mad about it anymore.”

“You should be,” he says. “You don’t even know why I left.”

“Why did you leave?” I ask him, finally feeling that stone in my gut begin to loosen. I’ve wanted to ask him that question for so long.

He sighs. “I didn’t want to tell you. I thought it would be easier if I just… disappeared. Clean break. You could move on without me.”

“But why?” I ask him. “I don’t understand.”

“My mother died not long after I enlisted,” he says. “She got sick long before that. Dad was drinking a lot, not able to take care of her, and I was overwhelmed. Bills were piling up.” He looks away from me, lost in the memory.

“My brothers were older, old enough to protect themselves from our father. But we had no money, and I had no way of getting it. Until… until I enlisted. I sent home every single paycheck. Goddamnit, Tara, I didn’t want to leave. But I did it to try and keep my family together.”

When he looks at me again, I can see the hate and the pain. He sacrificed so much for his family, despite how awful his father treated him. It suddenly makes so much sense. He didn’t want to leave back then. He never wanted to leave, but he did it because he had to.

“She died anyway,” he says, clearly bitter and pissed. “But I was stuck. I had a contract with the military and I couldn’t leave, so I embraced it. I hoped you’d move on and could be happy without me, because you have to understand, I was never happy without you. All that time over there, I was thinking about you…. remembering what we had together… it kept me going. Maybe that’s fucking lame to admit, but it’s the truth. I never let you go, Tara. It’s why I’m here.”

I stare into his eyes and I don’t know what to say. “Is that true?” I whisper.

“It’s all true. I never wanted to leave you.”

I kiss him hard then. No words can express to him what I’m feeling right now.

It’s like every single emotion was both justified and wasted. He didn’t want to leave me, but he had to do it. I was so angry at him for never telling me the truth, and he should have from the start, I would have understood. But he didn’t do it just to break my heart, he did it because he felt like he had to. I can understand that. I can move past that.

And he never forgot me, just like I never forgot him. And now here he is, kissing me, holding me the way I want to be held.

I press myself tight against him, shoving him back into the wall. The pipes thud around us as I kiss him, suddenly overtaken by an intense desire for him. I reach down and unbuckle his belt, tugging his jeans down over his hips.

He grunts and smirks as he pulls my hair back. “You’re impatient, aren’t you?” he whispers.

“I just want to make up for lost time,” I say as I drop down to my knees in front of him.

I pull down his boxer briefs and take this thick cock in my hand. He’s so enormous in my palm as I stroke him and try to take him into my mouth. He groans as I suck him deep, letting him shove his cock down my throat.

I’m dripping wet and desperate for him as I suck his cock nice and sloppy. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before with a man. It’s like I have absolutely no inhibitions, and he doesn’t make me feel self-conscious at all. In fact, just being around him makes me feel sexy.

It’s in the way he looks at me, the way he grunts when I touch him. He clearly wants me, clearly needs me. I don’t have to wonder how he feels about me, because I can taste it. He’s hard as hell in my mouth and groaning as I suck him faster.

I feel so totally out of control and I absolutely love it. Everything that’s happened up until now seems like a dream. To me, right now, down on my knees, the only thing I care about is making him feel good.

I take him deep, not caring about the tears that spring up in my eyes. I suck him faster and deeper, losing myself in the moment.

Suddenly he pulls me to my feet and kisses me. “Fuck, girl,” he grunts, turning me and pressing me against the wall. “I almost came in that pretty mouth.”

“Why didn’t you?” I ask him as he presses my chest against the wall. I feel his hands tug at my jeans, pulling them down over my hips, and I know why.

“Because I want to come inside this tight cunt, that’s why.”

He gets my jeans and my panties down but leaves them around my knees. I’m defenseless and exposed as he bends me over and grabs me by the elbows, pulling them back, flexing my chest.

I feel him slide himself inside of me, not wasting a second. We have to get back to work soon, and the set is crawling with crew. Anyone could stumble back on us at any time, and that would be a big freaking deal. But I don’t care, not even a little, as his thick cock slides inside of me.

He fucks me rough and fast, knowing what needs to be done. “This pussy is the reason I’m here,” he whispers. “Fucking you is all I need. Fuck the movies, fuck everything. You’re what I need, Tara girl.”

I moan and half-turn to kiss him. Our lips touch as he presses deeper, pumping into me, rocking my whole body. We’re being as quiet as possible but soft, strangled moans escape my lips. I’m starting to sweat, but I don’t care at all.

He rips into me faster as pleasure rocks through my whole body, tingling my skin and my toes. I gasp as he bites my lip and presses me back against the wall, fucking me rough. I back my hips up and slam against his cock, taking him as deep as possible, because I need it so badly.

As the orgasm builds, I know I can’t stop it. Not after everything that’s happened between us. I need to come with him, need to feel him come inside of me. I gasp as it peaks and suddenly explodes through me, the orgasm ripping through my limbs.

I can feel him coming too, his cock shooting deep inside of my pussy in thick spurts. I gasp and moan, dripping and ready for him. I want him buried inside of me, I want to feel him dripping out of me later today.

Slowly we finish together and he turns me around, kissing me deep and slow.

We get dressed in silence then. He leans up against me, pulling me close.

“What do we do?” I ask him in a whisper.

“I don’t know. But let’s just enjoy this, right here, at least for now.”

I nod my head and breathe his smell in deep. He’s right, we don’t know what’s going to happen from here. And maybe I’m being stupid, letting myself fall back into this like I am, but I can’t help it. Everything he’s said, everything he’s done, I can’t help but start to see that it’s all sincere. It’s all real.

That’s Jackson. He’s the most real man I’ve ever met. Nothing is an act with him, even though he’s an actor. Nothing is fake. What he says, he means, and he doesn’t play games. He made a mistake so many years ago, when we were dumb kids, but he did it for a noble reason. He sacrificed his life for his family.

I admire that. I really, really do. I wish he had told me back then, because maybe I would have helped him out. I don’t know if we could have worked together with him in the military, but at least I could have helped his family as much as possible. Instead, I totally ignored them, and I do feel a little guilty now.

It’s not his fault. We’re just two kids that got screwed. But now he’s back and he’s trying to make up for it.

I want things to work. I want him to take me to all the places I’ve been too scared to go. For now, I’m letting go and giving in to him.