Dani
“Marcus, is this big rush really necessary?” I asked as I fastened my seat belt for takeoff in his massive jet.
“Yes,” he answered simply.
Okay, he was angry at me for not signaling for him to come and help me. Maybe I should have explained that I was terrified that something would happen to him, but I’d made up some stupid excuse instead.
He hadn’t liked my explanation.
So, he’d been nearly silent while he’d driven like a bat out of hell to the airport.
Honestly, the whole carjacking idea had been brilliant. The ruse and the lack of connection between me and Marcus had been perfect. I’d already handed over the tiny camera to a government official who had taken it when we’d arrived at Marcus’s jet, and left almost immediately to have the information analyzed.
If they could get what they needed, Becker would go down. If Greg thought Marcus was simply a carjacker or a thug, then he wouldn’t really get twitchy about the fact that someone might be onto him. He’d be most likely to believe the criminal who’d taken the car and the woman inside the vehicle had gotten cold feet when they found me in the car and both of us had bailed. Or at least that’s what I hoped he’d believe. It would give law enforcement time to do what was needed to arrest the jerk.
I knew we were headed to Rocky Springs. I’d heard Marcus talking to the pilot. “I don’t even have a home in Colorado,” I informed him.
“You’ll be staying with me,” he replied in a voice that allowed no argument.
“Do I have a choice in this decision?”
“No,” he answered flatly.
“And will you continue to be pissed off at me?”
I could have mentioned that I had a sister in Colorado, one I could most certainly stay with when I arrived. However, I could tell now wasn’t the time to be argumentative with him.
Marcus was…well…he was Marcus. That meant he was bossy as hell, which could be incredibly annoying. But it was hard to get angry at a man who kept saving my ass.
“Most likely,” he grumbled.
“I wish you wouldn’t be,” I shared. “You saved my life tonight.”
“Again,” he said in an ornery tone.
Granted, he had saved my butt twice now. And I was grateful. But I didn’t want to spend the whole trip to Colorado with him in a mood. “Thank you,” I said, putting a hand on his arm in gratitude.
“Don’t thank me. I’m beginning to think it’s my goal in life to make sure you stay alive.”
The fact that he cared enough to keep saving me was actually humbling. Marcus was one of the richest men in the world, and he had a lot on his plate. He didn’t have to worry, but he did. It said a lot about his heart and the kindness that was buried underneath his sarcastic and gruff exterior.
“I didn’t want Becker to hurt you,” I said in a rush. “I was afraid because he had a gun. I didn’t want him to take you unaware and have you end up injured or dead because of me.”
Marcus was silent for a moment before he said, “If I ever let somebody take me unaware, I’d be dead by now. For God’s sake, Danica, it’s not like I didn’t know that asshole didn’t have more than one gun.”
“I couldn’t risk it,” I told him as I removed my hand from his arm.
“You should have,” he argued. “Christ! I’d never get over it if something had happened to you. It would have destroyed me.”
My heart tripped as I realized his anger was all for me, generated by his fear for my safety.
Oh, Marcus. You’re a better man than you know.
Maybe he was formidable, but the guy had a good heart.
“I was willing to take the risk,” I reminded him.
He turned his head and pinned me with his steel-colored stare. “I wasn’t,” he growled. “I hated this whole damn idea from the beginning. Did he hurt you?”
I shook my head slowly, mesmerized by the volatile emotion I could see in his gaze. “No. Not really.”
I could feel the jet leveling off, and the seat belt sign went off.
“I have to use the bathroom,” I said as my head began to spin.
I fumbled with the restraint and then stumbled to my feet.
Marcus steadied me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I muttered. “I’ll be fine.”
I used the seats for balance as I sprinted toward the toilet. Once I’d closed the door, I lowered the toilet seat and sat down.
I’d gotten there just in time.
Sweat beaded on my forehead, and my heart began to race until I was gasping for breath. A loud sound started to buzz in my head, and tears flowed down my cheeks. I put my hand on the counter by the sink, willing the helpless feeling to go away.
But it seemed like it lasted forever.
“Danica? Dani? What the hell is the matter?” I heard Marcus say, his voice muffled by the ringing in my ears.
I was swept up into my own dizzy, heart-pounding, breathless world for what seemed like an endless period of time before I started to come back down again.
“Dani!” Marcus called to me, demanding that I respond.
Problem was, I couldn’t say anything. Not until my body belonged to me again.
I put my trembling hand on my thigh, leaning over to get some air. I felt like I was choking, but I knew I wasn’t.
Finally, the fog started to clear and I started to suck in some deeper breaths.
“I’m making an emergency landing,” Marcus said emphatically. “I think we need to get you to a hospital.”
As I came back into my body, I protested. “No. Don’t.”
He was kneeling in front of me, holding a cold cloth to my sweaty forehead. “I don’t know what’s wrong—”
“I know. Just give me a minute,” I pleaded. I started to take deep breaths and straightened up, taking the cloth from his hand to wipe my perspiring face.
“You’re getting some color back. Jesus! You were as white as a sheet. What happened?”
“Panic attack,” I answered. “I haven’t had a full-blown attack in a long time. I guess what happened tonight just brought it on. It won’t kill me.”
I was mortified that I’d fallen apart in front of him, but I’d forgotten that the bathroom had an entrance from the bedroom where he’d come in.
“You have panic attacks?” he asked gently. “Since the incident a year ago?”
I nodded as I started to feel steadier, my heart regaining its regular rhythm. “I thought I was over them. They were pretty bad after I got back to the States a year ago. Through therapy, I’ve slowly recovered from my PTSD and anxiety. But I guess I’m not quite there yet. I’m sorry.”
He took my hands into his as he told me, “Don’t be sorry for something you can’t control. If the only thing you’re left with is an occasional panic attack, you’re doing well. Jesus, Dani. You’ve been through hell and back. Why can’t you give yourself a break?”
“It helps to be busy,” I said weakly.
“You can stay occupied with something safe,” he said in a graveled voice. “How are you feeling now?”
“I’m okay now. I hate not having control when they happen. I feel like I can’t breathe, I get really dizzy and disconnected, and my heart races about a million miles a minute. It’s embarrassing, and I feel so damn helpless. My last experience with this was months ago. I’ve learned how to deal with them, but I guess it’s still going to happen occasionally, especially if I’m stressed out.”
“I’ll help you. Just tell me what you need and I’ll get it.”
He sounded so sincere that it made my heart clench. “It’s over. I’ll be okay. I just need to take a shower and get out of these clothes.”
I was fairly certain that the amount of sweat that had come from my body was making me stink.
“What can I do?” He started to pull my foot from my ridiculously high-heeled shoes.
“You’re already doing it,” I answered with a smile.
“What?”
“Help me get out of this outfit,” I requested.
He tossed the shoes aside, straightened up, and then pulled me gently to my feet. “I’ll stand by in case you get dizzy again.”
“I don’t think it will happen again. I don’t get them that close together. But I’d still like your help.” My hands were shaking as I started to unbutton my blouse.
Marcus batted my hands away and started to confidently release the buttons. “I’ll do it.”
“Will you take a shower with me, Marcus?” I wasn’t really suffering any aftereffects other than being tired. Now that I’d released the stress I’d been burying, I was okay.
I’d learned through counseling that panic attacks weren’t going to kill me, but a lunatic almost had snuffed out my life earlier tonight. Maybe it was the reminder of how fragile life could be that made me want to reach out and grab exactly what I wanted.
“Why? You said you’d be okay,” he reminded me as he slid the blouse off my shoulders.
“Because I want you to,” I confessed. “You asked me if I needed anything. The only thing I really need is you.”