Dani
When we arrived in Rocky Springs, I did end up staying with Marcus. Not because he ordered it, but because I wanted to be with him.
Somewhere between my panic attack and our touchdown, I’d realized that no matter how much I tried to insulate myself, there was no guarantee of happiness. Honestly, I’d probably realized that truth during the time I’d been a prisoner of the rebels. I was going to have to make a play for what I wanted in my life.
And if I didn’t at least try to make Marcus part of my future, I was only going to be going through the motions.
I was in love with him. Completely. Totally. Irrevocably.
And if we couldn’t be together for the rest of our lives, I’d cherish every moment I had with him.
“I have to admit, I thought we’d end up fighting over you staying here with me,” Marcus said as he started stripping off his clothing in the bedroom of his Rocky Springs mansion.
We’d caught almost no sleep on our journey back to Colorado, and we were both ready to get some rest.
“It’s almost three a.m.,” I reminded him. “And I’m feeling magnanimous.”
He grinned at me from across the room. I’d just slipped on a nightshirt from my suitcase, and he was taking off his clothes so fast that it was nearly mind-boggling.
I’d had a brief tour of the house before we’d retreated back to the master bedroom.
Still smirking, he asked, “And why is that?”
“Because I got what I wanted,” I purred, smiling back at him. “That does tend to mellow me out.”
“What a coincidence. I got what I wanted, too, and I didn’t have to throw you over my shoulder to get you to my place when we got home.”
“I want to spend time with you,” I confessed. “I don’t want to crash at Harper and Blake’s house. They haven’t been married that long.”
“Then it’s a good arrangement for both of us,” he drawled, coming toward me as naked as the day he was born. “Because I want to be with you, too.”
Even though I was exhausted, I couldn’t help but admire his amazing body and the way he moved. He reminded me of a predator stalking prey.
“Come with me,” he insisted, holding out his hand.
“I already did that on the plane,” I answered in a teasing voice, and then placed my hand in his.
“Smart-ass,” he answered, sounding more amused than irritated.
“Where are we going?” I asked curiously, letting him lead me to the French doors that I assumed went out to a patio since the master bedroom was located on the first level of his house.
His home was huge, but it managed to be massive without being incredibly pretentious. I loved the high ceilings and the modern décor, something that seemed congruent with Marcus’s personality.
“You’ll see,” he answered mysteriously, swinging open the doors. “I haven’t had time to do this for a while.”
The large patio area was enclosed, but the top of the outbuilding was open. “This is beautiful,” I told him in an awed tone.
The gardens were colorful, but tasteful, and the flowers were gorgeous.
When he finally stopped walking, I swept my eyes lovingly over the incredible hot springs in front of us.
I’d grown up near Rocky Springs, but the Colters had the large majority of hot springs in the area. The resort featured pools both large and small, but I was betting on the fact that each sibling had built a house near a private pool. Hell, I would if I owned their property.
I could smell the minerals, but the scent was pleasant, and highly tempting. He’d kept the natural look, the pool sided by rocks with ledges and a lovely waterfall.
“Are we getting in?” I asked hopefully.
“I thought maybe you could use it to relax,” Marcus answered off-handedly, trying to pretend like he wasn’t being the most thoughtful guy on the planet.
He slipped in first and then held his arms out for me to jump down beside him. Without a second of hesitation, I leapt into his arms.
“Oh, God,” I moaned as the warm water hit my body. “This is incredible.”
“I’m glad you like it,” he answered.
He took a spot on an underwater rock and pulled me to sit between his legs.
“Did I really scare you when I had that panic attack?” I asked curiously. God knew I’d tried to run off and hide it. I knew watching me freak out probably wasn’t a very pleasant sight.
“Yes,” he answered simply.
“I haven’t had one in a long time,” I explained as I looked up at the stars. “But I hate the fact that I never know when and how it’s going to happen.”
“Why now?”
I shrugged. “I think it was probably the stress of dealing with Becker. And before you scold me, I wasn’t going to back out. So don’t even go there.”
“Well, shit,” he grumbled.
I knew he’d so wanted to go there, telling me he should have done something different.
“Marcus, it was something I had to do. I’d been holding Becker’s name in my mind for months. When I finally remembered that the terrorist had mentioned him as a source of their funding, I knew that stopping him was something I needed to do.”
His arm tightened around my waist. “Why? You could have just taken the information to the authorities.”
“Then what?” I questioned. “I couldn’t prove anything. You told me he’d been successfully running dirty businesses for a long time, and he’d never been arrested. This was personal to me. A lot of people have been hurt or killed because he funded the rebels and had some kind of delusion that he could rule his own territory on the other side of the world.”
“I understand,” he finally conceded. “I might not like it, but I get it.”
I returned to our original subject. “I’m in counseling. I have been since the whole thing happened. I never miss an appointment because I want to feel normal again. If necessary, I do a video chat with my therapist. I’ve resolved a lot of things, but there’s some areas where I’ll always be different than I was before it occurred. I thought my panic attacks were gone. Maybe they were, and this is just a setback.”
“Can you take it easy for a while?” he grumbled.
I smiled into the darkness. “Maybe.”
“What else is different?” he asked.
I sighed. “Everything and nothing. I’m still the same person, but I feel like I just view life differently. I know how easily it can end now, and I don’t want to take anything or anyone for granted.”
“I want you to stay safe,” he said huskily. “My heart can’t take any more of your adventures right now.”
It was amusing that a man like Marcus was talking about his supposed vulnerabilities. “Someday, I’d like to go back to the Middle East just to prove to myself that I can. I want to know that my courage is greater than my fear.”
“It is,” Marcus rumbled. “Believe me, it is.”
“I never used to be afraid of anything,” I said with a touch of sadness for the woman I used to be. “Now I have to fight to get rid of my fear.”
“You’re the bravest woman I know,” Marcus argued. “Have you ever heard the quote that goes something like this—I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.”
“The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear,” I said, finishing the quote. “I think Nelson Mandela is responsible for that version of a very important point. But sometimes I’m not sure I’m actually triumphing.”
“You are conquering your fear, Dani. You have succeeded in spite of what happened. It’s only been a year. Be patient with yourself,” Marcus said in a hoarse voice.
“I try,” I answered. “I really do.”
“It’s okay not to be perfect,” he stated. “I’ve known competent businessmen who have crumbled during a hostage situation. Hell, they never want to leave their house again.”
“I’d go nuts,” I confided. “But I’d really like to have my life back. I’d like to have me back.”
“You’ll get there,” Marcus said. “Hell, you’re already ballsy enough to make me nervous.”
I let out a small laugh. “The great and powerful Marcus Colter? I doubt that.”
“I’m still just a man, a guy who can’t stand to see you struggling with everything that occurred. It never should have happened in the first place.”
I leaned back against him, my heart clenching from the remorse in his voice. “It did happen, but it isn’t going to keep ruling my life,” I answered in a determined voice.
“You’re fine just the way you are,” he said assertively. “Everybody is afraid of something.”
“What are you afraid of, Marcus?” I asked curiously.
He was silent for a minute before he answered, “Someday, I’ll answer that question. But I can’t right now.”
“Okay.” I wanted him to share things with me, but not unless he wanted me to know. For now, I was good with just enjoying our time together.
I had no idea how many days we had before he left to travel for business, but I was going to relish every moment we had.
“So what kind of recommendations did your counselor make? I trust he or she is knowledgeable about your particular situation.”
“She is, and we take things one issue at a time. Her advice was to get a dog,” I told him jokingly.
“Why?” Marcus asked, obviously confused.
“I told her I’d like to set down some roots, even if I still have to travel. I mentioned to her that one of the worst parts of traveling is being alone. I’ve always wanted a dog, but I never got one because my life was too chaotic. There would never be enough time for me to spend with an animal.”
“You like dogs?” he asked.
“I love them. All breeds. I haven’t met a canine that I didn’t like.”
“So get one.”
“We’ll see,” I answered noncommittally. “I can’t get one until I decide where I want to put down those roots, and how much I plan on being home.”
“What else did she suggest?” Marcus questioned.
“A very long vacation. Catching up on my reading and movies, or anything else that doesn’t involve traveling for work.”
“Good advice,” Marcus said approvingly. “You’ll find everything you need right here.”
Honestly, I had no idea how long Marcus and I would hang out together, but I wasn’t against taking my vacation in Rocky Springs. I just hoped I didn’t end up regretting it.