Chapter Twenty-Five
Austin
Despite not sleeping too much, I rose early. I made a point not to wake Rebecca after spending a few moments looking at her. I knew that I was leaving today, and I memorized every detail of her stunning face before I grabbed my phone and brought it out to the living room. I dialed a number and heard a phone ringing before my mom’s sleepy voice came over the line. “Hello.”
“Hi, Mom.” My voice was quiet. I started to brew some coffee, and she cleared her throat.
“Austin.” She sounded sad, and I closed my eyes as the hot water started to drip.
“How’s Dad?” I asked her.
A sigh escaped her lips. “He’s going to be here for a few days so they can make sure he continues to get better, but he seems to be doing better. He’s sleeping right now.” Her voice was clipped as much as it was soft. I sensed her disapproval, and I moved to the table to sit down and look out over the large yard.
A light dusting of snow still covered the ground, and I stared at it for a moment as I tried to collect my thoughts. “Has he been seen by the doctor I called in?”
“Yes. Surprisingly, he isn’t a witch doctor and said that they did everything just fine in this hick town.” I heard all the bitterness in her tone and winced from it. “He agreed to stay and look on until your dad goes home, which was just one more thing to irritate him. But I want my husband home and safe. I am going to agree to that so I can worry just a little less.”
“I…” My voice faded off as I struggled with what to say. “I am doing the best I can with what I’ve got, Mom.” She was silent, and I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I will come home as soon as I can to check in on things. I promise. “
“That’s not the same thing as you being here, Austin. Your father feels the same way about it, and your leaving is breaking his heart.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I am doing the best I can.” I didn’t want to hurt either of them, not to mention the beautiful woman in my bed right now. I just worked too hard on this deal not to see it through. Once I got there, I’d speed along the process as much as possible. “I will call you soon, Mom.”
She merely said goodbye before hanging up. I clutched my phone in my hand for a long moment. What the fuck was I doing?
I poured some coffee into a large mug, fixing it the way Rebecca liked it. I’d send her home before I left, so I wanted to do it as well as I could without ruining that, too.
I crept back into my room to finish the packing I got distracted from last night. Rebecca slept so peacefully in the bed where I’d held her most of the night. I kept the light as dim as I could and stayed quiet, but she stirred as soon as I started to zip up my bag.
Rebecca looked at me as I finished the last thing I needed to do before I left. I raised my eyes to hers and offered her the coffee. She looked at the cup. “You’re still leaving?” she croaked. She accepted the cup and held it in her hand for a moment, seemingly to warm her hands.
“I have to. We spent months on this project, and I feel like I need to see it through. I did everything I could to keep it from coming to this.” I secured the bag and set it down on the floor. I took a seat next to her on the bed. She sipped the coffee before sliding it over to me. I took my own drink, swallowing it down my tense throat.
“How long will you be gone?” Rebecca asked me.
I looked at her. “It will be for a long time, more than likely. I am traveling far, and there will be a lot of negotiating.”
She nodded and stared forward. I was so certain she’d get mad, but Rebecca seemed resigned to the truth of the matter. I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about that. I was glad we weren’t arguing about it, but at the same time, her lack of emotion suggested that she didn’t care that I was leaving.
“I called the hospital and checked on Dad,” I said.
“How is he?” she asked. She glanced at me with raw emotion filling her eyes.
“They’re keeping him there for observation,” I told her.
She nodded. “I’ll make sure to come by and clean up the house and things for her. Is the key still under the same pot?”
I nodded. In New York City, people didn’t leave keys to their homes outside of the building. That was just inviting trouble, but here in North Reed, it was a normal thing to do.
“Okay. I’ll take care of them.” Rebecca sniffed and stared at me for a moment. “You know that he needs you here? They both do.”
“I know that.” My voice broke as I responded to her, feeling so conflicted on what to do. I was a son but also a businessman who needed to keep working so I wouldn’t lose what I knew to be my life.
“It’s just money at the end of the day, Austin. It’s just money, and you have so much already. I don’t know why you’re chasing more when so much is going on here.” Rebecca spoke slowly, thoughtfully. “When will it be enough?”
“It’s not just money. It is everything that I worked towards and dreamed of growing up. It’s the only thing that I knew before I came here.” I moved beside her, sliding my arm around her warm body to pull her close to me. “It’s the thrill of the chase and knowing that I made a difference somehow. And I can do so much with this money.”
“Does it make you happy when you get all of those things?” she asked.
I thought about the answer. “It isn’t happiness as much as it is a high for me. I feel so accomplished, and everyone admires me for it, pushing me up just one more step. It’s an addiction.” It was the truth. I didn’t know how to quit, not even when my family was damn close to falling apart with everything going on.
“I get that here, Austin. I get it from this town, my job, and being close to my sister. I don’t understand your addiction.”
I nodded and kissed her head. “I know you don’t. I wish I could explain it to you, but the only thing I can do is ask you to come with me.” I let the words fill the air. Rebecca tensed beside me. “That would make me happy and feel like I have a little bit of both worlds.”
“Where are you going?” she asked quietly.
I sipped the coffee. “Singapore when it’s all said and done,” I told her.
She breathed in deeply. “That’s so far from everything that you know here. Does your mom know?”
I shook my head. “She was already pissed off enough at me,” I explained. I looked at her body, covered by a blanket. “Please go with me, baby. I need you there.”
“I turned you down for New York, Austin. What makes you think that I’d go there when there is so much to take care of here? What makes you think that I’m like that?” Rebecca’s voice rose.
I stroked her shoulder in an effort to calm her down. “I am asking you. That’s why.”
Her head dropped forward, and small sobs escaped her throat. “I don’t even have a passport, Austin. I need one of those, right? I don’t even know exactly where you’re going or how much time we’ll be gone. No.”
I turned my body toward hers and held her. “You don’t need to know any of that. I have people, and I have money that can get us anything I want.” I breathed into her hair.
She jerked against me. “There you go again. Money solves everything for you, doesn’t it? You snap your fingers, and there’s a doctor at your father’s bedside. And you offer to pay me to just leave with you? This is crazy, Austin,” Rebecca sputtered, showing me her conflicting feelings about this subject. That was a dead giveaway for when Rebecca was upset about something and losing control.
“I can make anything happen for you, Rebecca. I wish you could see that.”
“Do you tell all the girls that, just to get what you want, Austin? Do you offer them money and trips and whatever you want to get one more night in bed?” Her voice was angry now, and I pulled away to stare at her. “Do you even care about me?”
“What?” I asked her, shocked at what she was asking me.
“Was I just convenient for you while you were stuck here in a town that you hate? Was I just a body to satisfy your needs with? Was it the familiarity that you came running to me for?” Tears slid down her cheeks as she spoke.
Anger flashed through me, and I cupped her face in my hands. “You were never just casual sex to me. Not ever, Rebecca. Why the fuck would you even suggest that?” Her eyes widened in shock. “I was in love with you when lived here before, and I still love you to this day. How can you think otherwise?”
“How could you leave me here?” she asked.
I felt something inside of me break. “I begged you to come with me. I wanted you by my side.”
She started to cry. “You just said no when I told you I wanted to stay. You didn’t fight for us.”
I pulled her into my arms. “I hated walking away from you. I hate the idea of it even now, but this is my livelihood. I have to take care of this before I can come back and take care of Dad. It’s going to open so many doors for me, Rebecca.” I tried to convince her of how important this was. My heart broke inside me, hearing her grief.
We already went through this once, and I didn’t want to fucking do it again. I didn’t want to say goodbye, but here we were, with Rebecca telling me that she wouldn’t go with me.
“You have so much money. What doors do you need?” Her voice was soft. She tried to contain herself. Rebecca wasn’t the kind of girl to cry too much over anything. “Will something else ever be enough for you?”
God, she was enough. I pulled her closer and buried my face in her hair. I longed to tell her that, but I knew this deal was falling apart. I knew that nobody else could fix it but me. I’d exhausted every other possibility, but no one else understood that but me. I doubted Preston even fully got it, and he’d been my assistant for years.
“Will I ever be enough for you?” The question rocked me. I pressed my lips to hers, and I memorized the feel of Rebecca in my arms. All I had to do was drop this and prove to her that I was still very much in love with her. I needed to prove to my family that I loved them and wanted to be here to support my father.
What the fuck was I supposed to do?
“You always acted like your life here wasn’t enough. You haven’t visited your family in years. Was any of this enough? I’ve asked myself that so many times.”
“You are enough. I didn’t know that before, but I do now, Rebecca. I love you so much.” I wrapped my arms tighter around her body, and I wondered what I’d just decided.